Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A called this weekend and says he is going down South- running from something and to get a fresh start. Says there are no more fresh starts here anymore. Because of my missing keys I cannot post at home anymore, just wanted to take this time to ask you all to pray that our HP will guide and protec...

souljoy · souljoy

AH woke up after spending all night sleeping on the sofa. He woke up due to the cat wanting out. He got mad at the cat and booted her out of the house. Then he tried to go to bed and the dog had eaten the foam on his bed. So he put the dog in the kennel and is mad. He had been up an hour and a half saying he needs to go to w...

omajoy · omajoy

Well, so here we are just as I predicted. EXDIL just called me and said in response to all my earlier NO statements: "Well, that's OK if you don't drop him off. Which night do you want to pick him up TU or W to visit with him from 3:30 to 7?" I said, "Well, we would like to continue picking hi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just came in from lunch and was talking to one of the girls who is in a similar situation to mine and she was talking about going out dancing last weekend. I have asked her repeatedly to go out and she always says no. Then I come to find out that a large group from work had a "girls night out". I...

debilyn · debilyn

You may not believe this is alanon related but it is. Because of alanon I can remind myself one day at a time, the serenity prayer and more. The service I give to my animal sanctuary is all about my hp. I could not do what i do with out the support of hp. So in saying that, this is a piece of my life...the down and...

spirit · spirit

hi everyone, my head is pounding. i came home and brought dinner only to find drunk and i knew, watch what and how i say things. i bought something for myself and showed him. i was happy today, i got asked Who bought that for you? where did you get it? then it got worse with the tears, him saying i dont care abo...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

Made it through the night without him (AH) and was pretty productive today. Graded a ton of papers and did menial house cleaning that has been neglected. He called tonight and I answered. He wants to come home. He misses his family ( me and his 14 yo son). He feels abandoned again. That's the line t...

mishka · mishka

I'm new here as al-anon person but am a recovering alcoholic - clean and sober since 1986. I am one of five siblings - sister sober fifteenish years, and three brothers; my older brother is a real out there alcoholic, my twin brother just does work and my baby brother does depression, obesity, food and...

omajoy · omajoy

Just finished keeping my grandchild for three days/nights while his mother went out of state to funeral of her grandmother. Son here to help us...no problems. Everyone fine. Last night EXDIL called to say the following: "I need to make some changes. I need for you to take _____ to school day-...

Loupiness · Loupiness

... more than ever I am convinced it is just a setting on the dryer. Last night some friends (two couples) invited me out to dinner. I was in the process of making dinner and they asked me if I could be spontaneous. They had no idea. I was at thier house within 20 minutes! LOL! We have all been friends for...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Let's see... My a brother is sitting in jail tonight. I haven't posted about him because I have been so consumed with my own life, but suffice to say, it sucks! An engineer turned failed entrepreuner, he has a wonderful wife and 5 beautiful kids. A few years ago they were living such a nice life - a Chri...

Alicia · Alicia

AH is going through a relapse after 3 years sober this time. This time around I am feeling just numb. I don't feel the drive to work through it. Does this mean I do not love him? The trust is gone. The last time this was all brought to light by an affair. I felt his sincerity in the desire to change. Wit...

bev · bev

hi all been 9 days since i posted..just need prayers for my daughter and unborn granddaughter.she has 9 weeks to go.but she is having problems..she has already started to dilate she is at 2 centimeters..she has been having lower back pain..the doctor she saw today,said the baby isnt gaining alot of w...

carolena · carolena

Hi, Everyone - I'm glad to be back home from my trip to WV. While there, I read posts when I could but was using library computers most of which were blocked from using forums ugh!). I went there alone and really enjoyed being away from my annoying (dry, not sober) ah. I really neede...

kissers · kissers

I love watching films with Julia Roberts. I especially loved the film, Runaway Bride. There was something about that movie that just resonated with me. Duh!! She grew up having to take care of her alcoholic father and lost herself so much she didn't know who she was, what she liked, what she wanted to do...

TXSusan · TXSusan

I left him August. but not really. The final straw was the day after my father's funeral. My oldest son caught him in the hot tub with "company" while I was still out of town going through my father's home. The AH's reaction? That I should explain to my children that adults are allowed ad...

serendipity · serendipity

I am all 4 at the moment. I am not sure how to start, maybe feed myself. I took the kids to school today as it is so cold here. On my way to drop the 13 yr old I saw a woman running and I thought "wow, that's not very healthy. It's -10 out." But I didn't say anything. I saw her again after dropping the 13y...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I have been calling lawyer's offices all afternoon "shopping around" for a reasonable lawyer. I think that might be an oxymoron. I have a few that have said around $500 which I feel is fair considering he's in JAIL and won't be showing up! I would type up the papers and file them myself i...

david62 · david62

The agenda for tonights meeting: January 6TH AGENDA I. OP SCHEDULE A. Updating to current status II. SECRETARY'S REPORT A. Minutes Review/Approval from December Business Mtg. III. TREASURER'S REPORT IV. OLD BUSINESS (None) V. NEW BUSINESS A. Keeping Meetings Al-Anon based That's what...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...I have been away from the family for the last week because I was struggling with the power of the spoken word...realising that some can be so horribly cruel, others can be so incrediblly healing whilst the absence of a softly spoken word can be devastating. Humility seems to be the one lesson that I a...

omajoy · omajoy

I am so glad to be writing 2008 this week. Last year was the absolutely worst of my 65 year old life. I was so down and out over the holidays with our relationship between us and ex- DIL so bad and the grandbaby the center of our concerns. The past three days we had the child and his daddy (our "binge-p...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

I hear the door opening at 5:30 am. He's sneaking back in again. I go in the living room and ask him to be quieter because our stepson and I are trying to sleep. He gets mad. I walk away and go back to bed. I hear the pill bottles rattling. After a few minutes, AH comes into the bedroom and turns on the li...

wbfox58 · wbfox58

http://www.baltimoresun2.com/talk/showthread.php?t=129863

sadako · sadako

he will be getting out, very shortly. he just called and asked me, "what do you need from me to feel safe if i come home?" i said, i need to know he has a plan to deal with stress far before it comes to feelings of suicide, and also i need to know he has a plan in case he feels suicidal. he says he does ha...

debilyn · debilyn

thank you to the ones who responded to my post. It helped me big time. Paws I liked your joke you nut. Jen it was good to hear from you. How is our beasty Sully? I wish you would at least write us an update what you are up to. cookie you are such warm person. thankyou sooooo much for your words. My home is Potter...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

He came back this afternoon after leaving at 5:30 am for his dad's. I toldhim that I cannot control him or what he does but I can control myself and the things that I do. After some tears, it boils down to that his cousin came and picked him up. He packed up a few bags of clothing and toiletries and is now g...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Lately, my ah has started giving gratitude and apologies for little things that happen, and I don't always know how to respond. The "thank yous" are pretty easy, for "your welcome" is an automatic answer, but I get stuck on the apologies. Examples: Last night my ah came and pick...

sadako · sadako

"blargle" is my word for "i can't believe i just heard that, that is so unbelievable that my brain cells are melting." i called one of my A's friends, a mutual friend who runs a prayer circle. i debated a long time before calling, but i knew i couldn't stay alone with this. so i did it...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Yesterday I met with an attorney for my disability appeal. I told her I did not want to stay on disability the rest of my life but wanted to get my health problems straightened out as much as possible and complete my education that has been strung out over the years while raising two girls by myself. I just...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just stopped myself from allowing the A to hurt me. I pretended he was about 3 inches tall and under a small glass dome kind of like a bug specimen. Because he was so small he was actually squeaking instead of making adult sounds. How 'bout that? J.

glad lee · glad lee

Hi Family, I was posting here a year ago, but I became suspicious that my H was somehow reading them. So, I focused on my f2f meetings instead. I am grateful to be back and feeling like I can voice myself a little better now. I feel the need to process tonight.... Last Fall, my AH surprised me by getti...

Tammy2 · Tammy2

Well, It's the 2nd Life that alcohol has claimed in my life in the past 5 weeks. I lost a dear friend on Thanksgiving to an alcohol and prescription drug overdose. Now here it is Jan 1, 2008 and I just got word that my cousin's husband was killed in an alcohol related car accident sometime late last night or...

optimistundone · optimistundone

Here are mine....please post yours as we head into a new year in recovery. 1) I can find my self-esteem again. 2) I can recover from depression. 3) I cannot control the A. 4) I can breathe again regardless of what the A does or does not do. 5) therapy is not so bad. 6) My friends are truly amazing people. 7) I a...

souljoy · souljoy

I have attended Alanon for a few months now and it really has helped me a lot. I see things in a clearer light now. The issues I am having with my AH are scary for me though. You see, I have not had a car in 4 months due to one of the cars breaking down and being unable to get fixed. It would cost too much to fix it and...

debilyn · debilyn

I have been working on figuring out what my loved ones gave me, and how to use it now. They loved me very much, I them too. All have passed now. But they had to have imprinted on me. So I have parts of them with me. I want to move on, not be so miserable because I miss them all so much. Somehow I need to make my life,...

sadako · sadako

i have no experience with suicide, my boyfriend A wants to come home after his suicide attempt, he called this morning and told me he might be out this afternoon. i told him "let's talk and we'll see" and he sounded okay with that. i need to know ... do people who attempt suicide, which i consid...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Really, I mean, one that I could go to Hell for? If I believed in that? Or even if I didn't? He was driving all crazy, drifting this way, that way, closing his eyes at the intersections. I offered to drive, he refused. He started to tell me to SHUT UP!! and I told him to just let me out here, thank you very much,...

Leetle · Leetle

((((((((((((((((((((Maria123)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Wishing you all the best on your birthday!

newbieG · newbieG

Its been going on for over a dozen years, my little sister who was my closest friend growing up, has been addicted to crack cocaine. I have assisted her, gave her money, typical enabling traits - she lost a kid years back to the state due to her addiction. She's put herself through the worst you can imagi...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/04/nyregion/04fall.html?th&emc=th

spirit · spirit

I found this and wanted to share it... It's another of those spiritual laws, that letting go lets God. We can actually inhibit the answer to a prayer by wanting something too much. . When we pray and then watch everything that transpires with a microscope -- waiting and waiting, doubting it will come .....

Paws · Paws

YES! I SAID I DONT WANT A PROGRAM BUT I DID NOT SAY I DIDNT NEED IT. LAST NIGHT A RAGING PYCHO EXPLODED IN MY HEAD AND I ACTUALLY TORE OPEN MY SOUL AND DESTROYED EVERYTHING AROUND ME UNTIL I COULD NO LONGER TELL WHAT ROOM I WAS STANDING IN. LUCKILY IT WAS THE SPARE BEDROOM THAT WE HARDLY USE. I BUSTED M...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

At the encouragement and love I got from my last check in post, here goes another... I was watching Super Nanny last night; usually I don't, but it was a change in pace. the family reminded me of my own family, where the adults feel as if they are so completely independent of the children that the child...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am fairly certain now that my days on this particular job are numbered. I have two months at most here. I had a good interview last week for a job that's much nearer to my home and with better hours. I feel scared to even hope to get it. I have been so devastated by not getting jobs in the past. I know I got t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok, I finally did it. I talked to a lawyer! He said that it would probably cost me around $1500 to do the divorce assuming the A doesn't contest it. That seemed high to me... Then he went on about charging $250 an hr. I proceeded to ask him how about you tell me what to do, I do all the forms and bring them b...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

Through many of the responses to my previous posts, I have been told that a rule of thumb for alanon is to wait 6 months before making a life changing decision. The decision that I am pondering is a divorce. I told my AH about alanon 6 months and he said to f*** it and let's make it 3 months. If things didn...

dgm · dgm

My son's father has finally gone to treatment, not sure if its because the court was going to order it anyway or if he really wanted to go. He wants his mother to bring our child to see him and said that I could come to if I wanted. Also said I was invited to come to the family day (if I want to go). So I guess my...

NANUKE · NANUKE

Opening our Hearts Transforming our Losses is the latest Alanon book and it is listed at $14.00. It's worth 14 million dollars. For those who are grieving (and we all are from being affected by this diseasse) the loss of relationships, please RUN, do not walk and purchase this book. We are not alone...

lebe27 · lebe27

Friends, It has been awhile. Thought I would check in for the new year. Husband has been sober 6 months now - a record for him (his streach of sobriety began right after court problems in Rhode Island were cleared up). Doing totally for himself. No court order or anything. We have also been doing ma...

maresie · maresie

Last summer I was pulled into rescing the A when he ended up homeless, ill and desitute. Admittely there was a huge hook in there for me because he had our pet dogs and he still had the truck I had spent so much money buying (I had literally finished making the payments last January). For me though it was w...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting before Thanksgiving and felt pretty good about it. It helped me a lot. I haven't been able to get back because my AH crashed my car and insurance is slow so I haven't been able to get a new car yet. I decided to go to a meeting because for the past three years, whatever I tr...

mlynn · mlynn

So here I am, the newest member to your board. I've been an Al-Anon member for 4 years, and my life has improved in innumerable ways, but it isn't always happy, joyous and free, and tonight's one of those nights. It's 2:30 in the morning, and I'm wide awake, trying to keep the demons at bay. It seems like...

maire rua · maire rua

Today I got some very sad news. A family friend has died suddenly. My ex-A who still stays with me rang me and was quite judgemental about it all as usual. My friend was a heavy smoker. He and his wife were exceptionally good to me when I was expecting my second child. At that time my ex-A went around a small l...

wen5454 · wen5454

Last night was tough. It was the first New Years eve without my bf in 9 years. It was sad but i got through it. I do admit that I did email him, but all I said was Hapy new Year. Ok, its a process I know, I shouldn't have any contact at all but I think I did good. I came on here and read, cried alot and read, list...

maresie · maresie

One of my house mates closely resembles the A in many many ways. He is addicted to playing games on the internet. I'll swear the A spent 4 of the 7 years we were together absolutely glued to the computer. Last January he spent the whole month playing games and didn't work. This housemate also has a real...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Lose 10 pounds a month for the next year by strictly following the Atkins diet. Save at least $200 per month for a family vacation next year Make at least 3 new friends Exercise more... These are my resolutions for 2008. I feel like I have accomplished a lot in 2007 and I can do better this year! I'd love t...

texasproud2005 · texasproud2005

Not with my A, but with my A father. I wrote earlier about how he got drunk on Christmas Eve and missed Christmas morning with the kids. This was something he was looking forward to for a long time. I never said anything to him about it. I knew he regretted it. I've noticed since then he hasn't gotten dr...

albertarose · albertarose

It's been awhile since I posted. I am very active in my home town f2f meetings 3 times a week. One of them being an open AA meeting. Over the past 16 months since being in the program I am closing my mouth and listening and learning. I am reaching out to other members as well as my sponser. I spoke with my spone...

sadako · sadako

my boyfriend really did mean to hang himself last night! he failed. i just got the call from the hospital to bring him some clothing. his neck is injured. no other details than that. why did i ask him to leave, why did i kick him out last night??????????? i have no idea how to deal with this!!! i am alone with...

Chetch · Chetch

Hi All, My AH has been sober for 2 months now, after being in a locked detox facility for a week and getting a DUI. He has until 3/15/08 to complete a 7 week, three time per week intensive out patient alcohol program by order of the Court. He said to me Saturday night that he had thought about having a coupl...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	He says he is leavin...please pray (Preview) Well, the A called this weekend and says he is going down South- running from something and to get a fresh start. Says there are no more fresh starts here anymore. Because of my missing keys I cannot post at home anymore, just wanted to take this time to ask you all to pray that our HP will guide and protec...	Codependent	10	780	Jan 8, 2008 by Codependent
	Not Sure What to do (Preview) AH woke up after spending all night sleeping on the sofa. He woke up due to the cat wanting out. He got mad at the cat and booted her out of the house. Then he tried to go to bed and the dog had eaten the foam on his bed. So he put the dog in the kennel and is mad. He had been up an hour and a half saying he needs to go to w...	souljoy	4	559	Jan 8, 2008 by debilyn
	drama outcome---not good (Preview) Well, so here we are just as I predicted. EXDIL just called me and said in response to all my earlier NO statements: "Well, that's OK if you don't drop him off. Which night do you want to pick him up TU or W to visit with him from 3:30 to 7?" I said, "Well, we would like to continue picking hi...	omajoy	10	563	Jan 8, 2008 by greta
	I'm really hurt right now (Preview) I just came in from lunch and was talking to one of the girls who is in a similar situation to mine and she was talking about going out dancing last weekend. I have asked her repeatedly to go out and she always says no. Then I come to find out that a large group from work had a "girls night out". I...	carolinagirl	11	684	Jan 8, 2008 by DD
	beware explicit pig story (c: (Preview) You may not believe this is alanon related but it is. Because of alanon I can remind myself one day at a time, the serenity prayer and more. The service I give to my animal sanctuary is all about my hp. I could not do what i do with out the support of hp. So in saying that, this is a piece of my life...the down and...	debilyn	8	634	Jan 7, 2008 by debilyn
	I hate the weekends (Preview) hi everyone, my head is pounding. i came home and brought dinner only to find drunk and i knew, watch what and how i say things. i bought something for myself and showed him. i was happy today, i got asked Who bought that for you? where did you get it? then it got worse with the tears, him saying i dont care abo...	spirit	10	496	Jan 7, 2008 by spirit
	He says he feels abandoned (Preview) Made it through the night without him (AH) and was pretty productive today. Graded a ton of papers and did menial house cleaning that has been neglected. He called tonight and I answered. He wants to come home. He misses his family ( me and his 14 yo son). He feels abandoned again. That's the line t...	Lost but still trying	7	766	Jan 7, 2008 by gknee
	new/hurting. (Preview) I'm new here as al-anon person but am a recovering alcoholic - clean and sober since 1986. I am one of five siblings - sister sober fifteenish years, and three brothers; my older brother is a real out there alcoholic, my twin brother just does work and my baby brother does depression, obesity, food and...	mishka	5	750	Jan 7, 2008 by mishka
	drama continues (Preview) Just finished keeping my grandchild for three days/nights while his mother went out of state to funeral of her grandmother. Son here to help us...no problems. Everyone fine. Last night EXDIL called to say the following: "I need to make some changes. I need for you to take _____ to school day-...	omajoy	6	530	Jan 7, 2008 by carolinagirl
	What is normal anyhow? (Preview) ... more than ever I am convinced it is just a setting on the dryer. Last night some friends (two couples) invited me out to dinner. I was in the process of making dinner and they asked me if I could be spontaneous. They had no idea. I was at thier house within 20 minutes! LOL! We have all been friends for...	Loupiness	4	464	Jan 7, 2008 by gknee
	What a night! (Preview) Let's see... My a brother is sitting in jail tonight. I haven't posted about him because I have been so consumed with my own life, but suffice to say, it sucks! An engineer turned failed entrepreuner, he has a wonderful wife and 5 beautiful kids. A few years ago they were living such a nice life - a Chri...	Loupiness	3	534	Jan 7, 2008 by serendipity
	Have I fallen out of love with him...or is it the alcoholism (Preview) AH is going through a relapse after 3 years sober this time. This time around I am feeling just numb. I don't feel the drive to work through it. Does this mean I do not love him? The trust is gone. The last time this was all brought to light by an affair. I felt his sincerity in the desire to change. Wit...	Alicia	7	708	Jan 7, 2008 by Alicia
	prayers needed (Preview) hi all been 9 days since i posted..just need prayers for my daughter and unborn granddaughter.she has 9 weeks to go.but she is having problems..she has already started to dilate she is at 2 centimeters..she has been having lower back pain..the doctor she saw today,said the baby isnt gaining alot of w...	bev	11	658	Jan 7, 2008 by mel123
	Carolena's back (Preview) Hi, Everyone - I'm glad to be back home from my trip to WV. While there, I read posts when I could but was using library computers most of which were blocked from using forums ugh!). I went there alone and really enjoyed being away from my annoying (dry, not sober) ah. I really neede...	carolena	5	538	Jan 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	Funny Realization (Preview) I love watching films with Julia Roberts. I especially loved the film, Runaway Bride. There was something about that movie that just resonated with me. Duh!! She grew up having to take care of her alcoholic father and lost herself so much she didn't know who she was, what she liked, what she wanted to do...	kissers	6	1170	Jan 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	Addicted to the Adict? (Preview) I left him August. but not really. The final straw was the day after my father's funeral. My oldest son caught him in the hot tub with "company" while I was still out of town going through my father's home. The AH's reaction? That I should explain to my children that adults are allowed ad...	TXSusan	4	487	Jan 6, 2008 by Just For Now
	H.A.L.T......vent (Preview) I am all 4 at the moment. I am not sure how to start, maybe feed myself. I took the kids to school today as it is so cold here. On my way to drop the 13 yr old I saw a woman running and I thought "wow, that's not very healthy. It's -10 out." But I didn't say anything. I saw her again after dropping the 13y...	serendipity	8	375	Jan 6, 2008 by Just For Now
	Feeling DRAINED and IRRITATED (Preview) So I have been calling lawyer's offices all afternoon "shopping around" for a reasonable lawyer. I think that might be an oxymoron. I have a few that have said around $500 which I feel is fair considering he's in JAIL and won't be showing up! I would type up the papers and file them myself i...	carolinagirl	8	486	Jan 6, 2008 by Just For Now
	Business Meeting Tonight - 9 pm EST (Preview) The agenda for tonights meeting: January 6TH AGENDA I. OP SCHEDULE A. Updating to current status II. SECRETARY'S REPORT A. Minutes Review/Approval from December Business Mtg. III. TREASURER'S REPORT IV. OLD BUSINESS (None) V. NEW BUSINESS A. Keeping Meetings Al-Anon based That's what...	david62	0	336	Jan 6, 2008 by david62
	The power of the spoken word.... (Preview) ...I have been away from the family for the last week because I was struggling with the power of the spoken word...realising that some can be so horribly cruel, others can be so incrediblly healing whilst the absence of a softly spoken word can be devastating. Humility seems to be the one lesson that I a...	Heartbroken	3	474	Jan 6, 2008 by Maria123
	purging 2007 (Preview) I am so glad to be writing 2008 this week. Last year was the absolutely worst of my 65 year old life. I was so down and out over the holidays with our relationship between us and ex- DIL so bad and the grandbaby the center of our concerns. The past three days we had the child and his daddy (our "binge-p...	omajoy	8	370	Jan 6, 2008 by Just For Now
	Gone (Preview) I hear the door opening at 5:30 am. He's sneaking back in again. I go in the living room and ask him to be quieter because our stepson and I are trying to sleep. He gets mad. I walk away and go back to bed. I hear the pill bottles rattling. After a few minutes, AH comes into the bedroom and turns on the li...	Lost but still trying	2	347	Jan 6, 2008 by Karilynn
	Bathing in ignorance (Preview) http://www.baltimoresun2.com/talk/showthread.php?t=129863	wbfox58	4	509	Jan 6, 2008 by carolena
	he's out of the hospital (Preview) he will be getting out, very shortly. he just called and asked me, "what do you need from me to feel safe if i come home?" i said, i need to know he has a plan to deal with stress far before it comes to feelings of suicide, and also i need to know he has a plan in case he feels suicidal. he says he does ha...	sadako	10	603	Jan 6, 2008 by Lost but still trying
	brrrrr frozen Eden (Preview) thank you to the ones who responded to my post. It helped me big time. Paws I liked your joke you nut. Jen it was good to hear from you. How is our beasty Sully? I wish you would at least write us an update what you are up to. cookie you are such warm person. thankyou sooooo much for your words. My home is Potter...	debilyn	1	416	Jan 6, 2008 by Christy
	Surreal (Preview) He came back this afternoon after leaving at 5:30 am for his dad's. I toldhim that I cannot control him or what he does but I can control myself and the things that I do. After some tears, it boils down to that his cousin came and picked him up. He packed up a few bags of clothing and toiletries and is now g...	Lost but still trying	5	448	Jan 5, 2008 by carolinagirl
	How to respond? (Preview) Lately, my ah has started giving gratitude and apologies for little things that happen, and I don't always know how to respond. The "thank yous" are pretty easy, for "your welcome" is an automatic answer, but I get stuck on the apologies. Examples: Last night my ah came and pick...	Loupiness	7	559	Jan 5, 2008 by serendipity
	blargle! (Preview) "blargle" is my word for "i can't believe i just heard that, that is so unbelievable that my brain cells are melting." i called one of my A's friends, a mutual friend who runs a prayer circle. i debated a long time before calling, but i knew i couldn't stay alone with this. so i did it...	sadako	4	417	Jan 5, 2008 by sadako
	Overcoming the fear (Preview) Yesterday I met with an attorney for my disability appeal. I told her I did not want to stay on disability the rest of my life but wanted to get my health problems straightened out as much as possible and complete my education that has been strung out over the years while raising two girls by myself. I just...	Tenderheartsks	8	528	Jan 5, 2008 by sadako
	It works if you work it... (Preview) I just stopped myself from allowing the A to hurt me. I pretended he was about 3 inches tall and under a small glass dome kind of like a bug specimen. Because he was so small he was actually squeaking instead of making adult sounds. How 'bout that? J.	Jean4444	7	651	Jan 5, 2008 by sadako
	Processing Life w/a Crazymaker (Preview) Hi Family, I was posting here a year ago, but I became suspicious that my H was somehow reading them. So, I focused on my f2f meetings instead. I am grateful to be back and feeling like I can voice myself a little better now. I feel the need to process tonight.... Last Fall, my AH surprised me by getti...	glad lee	5	652	Jan 5, 2008 by carolena
	Alcohol has claimed another life... (Preview) Well, It's the 2nd Life that alcohol has claimed in my life in the past 5 weeks. I lost a dear friend on Thanksgiving to an alcohol and prescription drug overdose. Now here it is Jan 1, 2008 and I just got word that my cousin's husband was killed in an alcohol related car accident sometime late last night or...	Tammy2	12	662	Jan 5, 2008 by sissy
	What did lessons you learn this year? (Preview) Here are mine....please post yours as we head into a new year in recovery. 1) I can find my self-esteem again. 2) I can recover from depression. 3) I cannot control the A. 4) I can breathe again regardless of what the A does or does not do. 5) therapy is not so bad. 6) My friends are truly amazing people. 7) I a...	optimistundone	10	618	Jan 5, 2008 by sissy
	It's not easy (Preview) I have attended Alanon for a few months now and it really has helped me a lot. I see things in a clearer light now. The issues I am having with my AH are scary for me though. You see, I have not had a car in 4 months due to one of the cars breaking down and being unable to get fixed. It would cost too much to fix it and...	souljoy	5	712	Jan 5, 2008 by afglin
	venting (Preview) I have been working on figuring out what my loved ones gave me, and how to use it now. They loved me very much, I them too. All have passed now. But they had to have imprinted on me. So I have parts of them with me. I want to move on, not be so miserable because I miss them all so much. Somehow I need to make my life,...	debilyn	9	477	Jan 5, 2008 by cookie1971
	he wants to come home, what could happen? (Preview) i have no experience with suicide, my boyfriend A wants to come home after his suicide attempt, he called this morning and told me he might be out this afternoon. i told him "let's talk and we'll see" and he sounded okay with that. i need to know ... do people who attempt suicide, which i consid...	sadako	12	635	Jan 5, 2008 by optimistundone
	Is it a sin to wish him dead? (Preview) Really, I mean, one that I could go to Hell for? If I believed in that? Or even if I didn't? He was driving all crazy, drifting this way, that way, closing his eyes at the intersections. I offered to drive, he refused. He started to tell me to SHUT UP!! and I told him to just let me out here, thank you very much,...	RainyJamie	19	5363	Jan 4, 2008 by leo
	hApPy BiRtHdAy WiShEs To............. (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((((Maria123)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Wishing you all the best on your birthday!	Leetle	9	674	Jan 4, 2008 by Maria123
	New member, my story and a turning point... (Preview) Its been going on for over a dozen years, my little sister who was my closest friend growing up, has been addicted to crack cocaine. I have assisted her, gave her money, typical enabling traits - she lost a kid years back to the state due to her addiction. She's put herself through the worst you can imagi...	newbieG	6	588	Jan 4, 2008 by serendipity
	Believe in mericles! (Preview) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/04/nyregion/04fall.html?th&emc=th	Tiger2006	1	547	Jan 4, 2008 by Jerry F
	Let Go and Let God (Preview) I found this and wanted to share it... It's another of those spiritual laws, that letting go lets God. We can actually inhibit the answer to a prayer by wanting something too much. . When we pray and then watch everything that transpires with a microscope -- waiting and waiting, doubting it will come .....	spirit	5	527	Jan 4, 2008 by spirit
	mURDER dEATH kILL! mE OR hIM? (Preview) YES! I SAID I DONT WANT A PROGRAM BUT I DID NOT SAY I DIDNT NEED IT. LAST NIGHT A RAGING PYCHO EXPLODED IN MY HEAD AND I ACTUALLY TORE OPEN MY SOUL AND DESTROYED EVERYTHING AROUND ME UNTIL I COULD NO LONGER TELL WHAT ROOM I WAS STANDING IN. LUCKILY IT WAS THE SPARE BEDROOM THAT WE HARDLY USE. I BUSTED M...	Paws	8	1179	Jan 4, 2008 by Paws
	just in a major transition period..hanging on for serenity (Preview) At the encouragement and love I got from my last check in post, here goes another... I was watching Super Nanny last night; usually I don't, but it was a change in pace. the family reminded me of my own family, where the adults feel as if they are so completely independent of the children that the child...	Tiger2006	3	532	Jan 4, 2008 by Jean4444
	looking for work again (Preview) I am fairly certain now that my days on this particular job are numbered. I have two months at most here. I had a good interview last week for a job that's much nearer to my home and with better hours. I feel scared to even hope to get it. I have been so devastated by not getting jobs in the past. I know I got t...	maresie2	3	453	Jan 4, 2008 by maresie2
	I called a lawyer (Preview) Ok, I finally did it. I talked to a lawyer! He said that it would probably cost me around $1500 to do the divorce assuming the A doesn't contest it. That seemed high to me... Then he went on about charging $250 an hr. I proceeded to ask him how about you tell me what to do, I do all the forms and bring them b...	carolinagirl	8	596	Jan 4, 2008 by Loupiness
	The magical "6 months" (Preview) Through many of the responses to my previous posts, I have been told that a rule of thumb for alanon is to wait 6 months before making a life changing decision. The decision that I am pondering is a divorce. I told my AH about alanon 6 months and he said to f*** it and let's make it 3 months. If things didn...	Lost but still trying	9	1296	Jan 4, 2008 by stormie
	Finally in treatment (Preview) My son's father has finally gone to treatment, not sure if its because the court was going to order it anyway or if he really wanted to go. He wants his mother to bring our child to see him and said that I could come to if I wanted. Also said I was invited to come to the family day (if I want to go). So I guess my...	dgm	4	361	Jan 4, 2008 by lin0606
	Latest Book (Preview) *Opening our Hearts Transforming our Losses* is the latest Alanon book and it is listed at $14.00. It's worth 14 million dollars. For those who are grieving (and we all are from being affected by this diseasse) the loss of relationships, please RUN, do not walk and purchase this book. We are not alone...	NANUKE	4	329	Jan 4, 2008 by debilyn
	Six Months and counting (well not really) (Preview) Friends, It has been awhile. Thought I would check in for the new year. Husband has been sober 6 months now - a record for him (his streach of sobriety began right after court problems in Rhode Island were cleared up). Doing totally for himself. No court order or anything. We have also been doing ma...	lebe27	4	596	Jan 3, 2008 by Christy
	Rescuing (Preview) Last summer I was pulled into rescing the A when he ended up homeless, ill and desitute. Admittely there was a huge hook in there for me because he had our pet dogs and he still had the truck I had spent so much money buying (I had literally finished making the payments last January). For me though it was w...	maresie	5	356	Jan 3, 2008 by maresie2
	I'm new (Preview) I went to my first Al-Anon meeting before Thanksgiving and felt pretty good about it. It helped me a lot. I haven't been able to get back because my AH crashed my car and insurance is slow so I haven't been able to get a new car yet. I decided to go to a meeting because for the past three years, whatever I tr...	Lost but still trying	13	517	Jan 3, 2008 by stormie
	Another sleepless night... (Preview) So here I am, the newest member to your board. I've been an Al-Anon member for 4 years, and my life has improved in innumerable ways, but it isn't always happy, joyous and free, and tonight's one of those nights. It's 2:30 in the morning, and I'm wide awake, trying to keep the demons at bay. It seems like...	mlynn	6	598	Jan 3, 2008 by maresie2
	So Judgemental (Preview) Today I got some very sad news. A family friend has died suddenly. My ex-A who still stays with me rang me and was quite judgemental about it all as usual. My friend was a heavy smoker. He and his wife were exceptionally good to me when I was expecting my second child. At that time my ex-A went around a small l...	maire rua	5	368	Jan 3, 2008 by maresie2
	Manage to get through the Night (Preview) Last night was tough. It was the first New Years eve without my bf in 9 years. It was sad but i got through it. I do admit that I did email him, but all I said was Hapy new Year. Ok, its a process I know, I shouldn't have any contact at all but I think I did good. I came on here and read, cried alot and read, list...	wen5454	6	633	Jan 3, 2008 by Codependent
	drama rama (Preview) One of my house mates closely resembles the A in many many ways. He is addicted to playing games on the internet. I'll swear the A spent 4 of the 7 years we were together absolutely glued to the computer. Last January he spent the whole month playing games and didn't work. This housemate also has a real...	maresie	6	449	Jan 3, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	I resolve to.... (Preview) Lose 10 pounds a month for the next year by strictly following the Atkins diet. Save at least $200 per month for a family vacation next year Make at least 3 new friends Exercise more... These are my resolutions for 2008. I feel like I have accomplished a lot in 2007 and I can do better this year! I'd love t...	carolinagirl	16	572	Jan 3, 2008 by Du_Jour
	Something good is happening (Preview) Not with my A, but with my A father. I wrote earlier about how he got drunk on Christmas Eve and missed Christmas morning with the kids. This was something he was looking forward to for a long time. I never said anything to him about it. I knew he regretted it. I've noticed since then he hasn't gotten dr...	texasproud2005	2	424	Jan 2, 2008 by nmike
	Trying to work my program (Preview) It's been awhile since I posted. I am very active in my home town f2f meetings 3 times a week. One of them being an open AA meeting. Over the past 16 months since being in the program I am closing my mouth and listening and learning. I am reaching out to other members as well as my sponser. I spoke with my spone...	albertarose	3	525	Jan 2, 2008 by Christy
	he DID attempt suicide! (Preview) my boyfriend really did mean to hang himself last night! he failed. i just got the call from the hospital to bring him some clothing. his neck is injured. no other details than that. why did i ask him to leave, why did i kick him out last night??????????? i have no idea how to deal with this!!! i am alone with...	sadako	12	758	Jan 2, 2008 by debilyn
	How do I deal with this?? (Preview) Hi All, My AH has been sober for 2 months now, after being in a locked detox facility for a week and getting a DUI. He has until 3/15/08 to complete a 7 week, three time per week intensive out patient alcohol program by order of the Court. He said to me Saturday night that he had thought about having a coupl...	Chetch	10	582	Jan 2, 2008 by abbyal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.