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What did lessons you learn this year?
(Preview)
Here are mine....please post yours as we head into a new year in recovery. 1) I can find my self-esteem again. 2) I can recover from depression. 3) I cannot control the A. 4) I can breathe again regardless of what the A does or does not do. 5) therapy is not so bad. 6) My friends are truly amazing people. 7) I a...
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optimistundone
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10
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587
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It's not easy
(Preview)
I have attended Alanon for a few months now and it really has helped me a lot. I see things in a clearer light now. The issues I am having with my AH are scary for me though. You see, I have not had a car in 4 months due to one of the cars breaking down and being unable to get fixed. It would cost too much to fix it and...
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souljoy
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5
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687
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venting
(Preview)
I have been working on figuring out what my loved ones gave me, and how to use it now. They loved me very much, I them too. All have passed now. But they had to have imprinted on me. So I have parts of them with me. I want to move on, not be so miserable because I miss them all so much. Somehow I need to make my life,...
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debilyn
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9
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445
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he wants to come home, what could happen?
(Preview)
i have no experience with suicide, my boyfriend A wants to come home after his suicide attempt, he called this morning and told me he might be out this afternoon. i told him "let's talk and we'll see" and he sounded okay with that. i need to know ... do people who attempt suicide, which i consid...
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sadako
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12
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605
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Is it a sin to wish him dead?
(Preview)
Really, I mean, one that I could go to Hell for? If I believed in that? Or even if I didn't? He was driving all crazy, drifting this way, that way, closing his eyes at the intersections. I offered to drive, he refused. He started to tell me to SHUT UP!! and I told him to just let me out here, thank you very much,...
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RainyJamie
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19
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5069
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hApPy BiRtHdAy WiShEs To.............
(Preview)
((((((((((((((((((((Maria123)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Wishing you all the best on your birthday!
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Leetle
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9
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639
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New member, my story and a turning point...
(Preview)
Its been going on for over a dozen years, my little sister who was my closest friend growing up, has been addicted to crack cocaine. I have assisted her, gave her money, typical enabling traits - she lost a kid years back to the state due to her addiction. She's put herself through the worst you can imagi...
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newbieG
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6
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561
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Believe in mericles!
(Preview)
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/04/nyregion/04fall.html?th&emc=th
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Tiger2006
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1
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519
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Let Go and Let God
(Preview)
I found this and wanted to share it... It's another of those spiritual laws, that letting go lets God. We can actually inhibit the answer to a prayer by wanting something too much. . When we pray and then watch everything that transpires with a microscope -- waiting and waiting, doubting it will come .....
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spirit
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5
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490
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mURDER dEATH kILL! mE OR hIM?
(Preview)
YES! I SAID I DONT WANT A PROGRAM BUT I DID NOT SAY I DIDNT NEED IT. LAST NIGHT A RAGING PYCHO EXPLODED IN MY HEAD AND I ACTUALLY TORE OPEN MY SOUL AND DESTROYED EVERYTHING AROUND ME UNTIL I COULD NO LONGER TELL WHAT ROOM I WAS STANDING IN. LUCKILY IT WAS THE SPARE BEDROOM THAT WE HARDLY USE. I BUSTED M...
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Paws
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8
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1151
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just in a major transition period..hanging on for serenity
(Preview)
At the encouragement and love I got from my last check in post, here goes another... I was watching Super Nanny last night; usually I don't, but it was a change in pace. the family reminded me of my own family, where the adults feel as if they are so completely independent of the children that the child...
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Tiger2006
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3
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496
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looking for work again
(Preview)
I am fairly certain now that my days on this particular job are numbered. I have two months at most here. I had a good interview last week for a job that's much nearer to my home and with better hours. I feel scared to even hope to get it. I have been so devastated by not getting jobs in the past. I know I got t...
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maresie2
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3
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425
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I called a lawyer
(Preview)
Ok, I finally did it. I talked to a lawyer! He said that it would probably cost me around $1500 to do the divorce assuming the A doesn't contest it. That seemed high to me... Then he went on about charging $250 an hr. I proceeded to ask him how about you tell me what to do, I do all the forms and bring them b...
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carolinagirl
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8
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567
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The magical "6 months"
(Preview)
Through many of the responses to my previous posts, I have been told that a rule of thumb for alanon is to wait 6 months before making a life changing decision. The decision that I am pondering is a divorce. I told my AH about alanon 6 months and he said to f*** it and let's make it 3 months. If things didn...
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Lost but still trying
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9
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1024
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Finally in treatment
(Preview)
My son's father has finally gone to treatment, not sure if its because the court was going to order it anyway or if he really wanted to go. He wants his mother to bring our child to see him and said that I could come to if I wanted. Also said I was invited to come to the family day (if I want to go). So I guess my...
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dgm
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4
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332
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Latest Book
(Preview)
Opening our Hearts Transforming our Losses is the latest Alanon book and it is listed at $14.00. It's worth 14 million dollars. For those who are grieving (and we all are from being affected by this diseasse) the loss of relationships, please RUN, do not walk and purchase this book. We are not alone...
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NANUKE
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4
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301
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Six Months and counting (well not really)
(Preview)
Friends, It has been awhile. Thought I would check in for the new year. Husband has been sober 6 months now - a record for him (his streach of sobriety began right after court problems in Rhode Island were cleared up). Doing totally for himself. No court order or anything. We have also been doing ma...
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lebe27
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4
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571
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Rescuing
(Preview)
Last summer I was pulled into rescing the A when he ended up homeless, ill and desitute. Admittely there was a huge hook in there for me because he had our pet dogs and he still had the truck I had spent so much money buying (I had literally finished making the payments last January). For me though it was w...
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maresie
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5
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328
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I'm new
(Preview)
I went to my first Al-Anon meeting before Thanksgiving and felt pretty good about it. It helped me a lot. I haven't been able to get back because my AH crashed my car and insurance is slow so I haven't been able to get a new car yet. I decided to go to a meeting because for the past three years, whatever I tr...
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Lost but still trying
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13
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488
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Another sleepless night...
(Preview)
So here I am, the newest member to your board.
I've been an Al-Anon member for 4 years, and my life has improved in innumerable ways, but it isn't always happy, joyous and free, and tonight's one of those nights. It's 2:30 in the morning, and I'm wide awake, trying to keep the demons at bay. It seems like...
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mlynn
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6
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567
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So Judgemental
(Preview)
Today I got some very sad news. A family friend has died suddenly. My ex-A who still stays with me rang me and was quite judgemental about it all as usual. My friend was a heavy smoker. He and his wife were exceptionally good to me when I was expecting my second child. At that time my ex-A went around a small l...
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maire rua
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5
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337
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Manage to get through the Night
(Preview)
Last night was tough. It was the first New Years eve without my bf in 9 years. It was sad but i got through it. I do admit that I did email him, but all I said was Hapy new Year. Ok, its a process I know, I shouldn't have any contact at all but I think I did good. I came on here and read, cried alot and read, list...
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wen5454
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6
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599
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drama rama
(Preview)
One of my house mates closely resembles the A in many many ways. He is addicted to playing games on the internet. I'll swear the A spent 4 of the 7 years we were together absolutely glued to the computer. Last January he spent the whole month playing games and didn't work. This housemate also has a real...
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maresie
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6
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417
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I resolve to....
(Preview)
Lose 10 pounds a month for the next year by strictly following the Atkins diet. Save at least $200 per month for a family vacation next year Make at least 3 new friends Exercise more... These are my resolutions for 2008. I feel like I have accomplished a lot in 2007 and I can do better this year! I'd love t...
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carolinagirl
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16
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542
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Something good is happening
(Preview)
Not with my A, but with my A father. I wrote earlier about how he got drunk on Christmas Eve and missed Christmas morning with the kids. This was something he was looking forward to for a long time. I never said anything to him about it. I knew he regretted it. I've noticed since then he hasn't gotten dr...
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texasproud2005
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2
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392
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Trying to work my program
(Preview)
It's been awhile since I posted. I am very active in my home town f2f meetings 3 times a week. One of them being an open AA meeting. Over the past 16 months since being in the program I am closing my mouth and listening and learning. I am reaching out to other members as well as my sponser. I spoke with my spone...
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albertarose
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3
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497
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he DID attempt suicide!
(Preview)
my boyfriend really did mean to hang himself last night! he failed. i just got the call from the hospital to bring him some clothing. his neck is injured. no other details than that. why did i ask him to leave, why did i kick him out last night??????????? i have no idea how to deal with this!!! i am alone with...
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sadako
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12
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731
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How do I deal with this??
(Preview)
Hi All, My AH has been sober for 2 months now, after being in a locked detox facility for a week and getting a DUI. He has until 3/15/08 to complete a 7 week, three time per week intensive out patient alcohol program by order of the Court. He said to me Saturday night that he had thought about having a coupl...
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Chetch
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10
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551
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The New Year Started Out Bad
(Preview)
Hub came in from work, fed the cat. I was all dressed up, makeup on, etc. He never even looked at me. Drove to my daughter's to watch baby while she went to Walmart. Came home, hubby was across the street with his buddies drinking. He came in, I was on the couch. He took a shower, I thought "maybe&qu...
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Becky1
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8
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716
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a little humor to begin the new year
(Preview)
(((((Friends)))))), I got such a kick out of this and hope you do as well. For those of you, like me, who love the computer forum and are grateful to have it to supplement our face to face program, this'll make you laugh. LIVING WILL Last night my daughter and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, &qu...
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Maria123
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7
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476
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New Beginnings
(Preview)
My ex has been calling and e-mailing me. I haven't answered any e-mails or calls. I won't do it anymore. One of his e-mails said he was worried about me. I wanted to believe it, but the reality is it is not true. I keep praying to God that he will seek help. I don't want to see anything bad happen to him. I wish...
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kissers
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3
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279
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Threatening to show up at my house
(Preview)
My ex sent me an email threatening to show up at my house. He thinks no contact from me is me punishing him. I really don't know if I should keep my eye out and wait for him to leave if he is out front of my home before pulling in or go about my business as usual. I don't even know what to say to him if he does show up....
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kissers
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4
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599
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controlling behavior
(Preview)
I have had a relationship with a friend of mine (he is an ex boyfriend) who has many addiction issues for over 7 years. During that time sometimes he has been there for me. He gave me $500 earlier this year. At other times he has been incredibly controling and dismissive. After letting the A go and havin...
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maresie
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1
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958
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Gratitude for Each Day
(Preview)
Happy New Year ((((Family))))) I woke up this morning like I have every morning for the last 45 years. For that, as I am every morning, I am grateful. I slept in late because I had been up late celebrating New Years Eve with a few friends at my house. We played some games, shared fellowship and even danced a...
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david62
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2
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499
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i asked him to leave, he said "warm the rope up"
(Preview)
i apologize in advance for this being so long! i posted earlier on this board about what my A was doing/saying, and got some excellent advice (i'm sorry i'm not better about posting thank you's!). a lot of it i had gone through way back with a codependent partner, in counseling, so i just lived my life and...
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sadako
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3
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1636
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The Ultimatum I got and the other swing of the pendulum
(Preview)
After all the support that I have been receiving from you guys (thank you thank you thank you!!!!!), I mustered up enough strength to talk to my AH. I told him that I was using this message board and would be trying very hard to work on understanding his addiction and behaviors and what would be some bett...
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Lost but still trying
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3
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446
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Disabilitating fear
(Preview)
A couple of weeks ago I was faced with the following questions: What can you remember doing wrong because of fear?Did you do anything illegal or immoral because of your timidity and fear?Well, I have been contemplating these two questions and wrote down a number of situations I was in and the reaction...
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Heartbroken
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4
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927
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I need to go back to a meeting TOMORROW
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I hope you are having a lovely new years.
I am posting as a way of committing myself to getting back to a meeting tomorrow. I have been to three meetings so far, and each time I came away feeling stronger and more relaxed. They are so useful. And yet, each time I have to convince myself to g...
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tenacious
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5
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670
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Jan. Business meeting
(Preview)
Hello everyone! This sunday at 9pm est, will be our next monthly business meeting. The meeting will be held in the chat room. All are welcome to attend! As of now there is no new business on the agenda. If anyone has a topic they would possibly like to have placed on the agenda, please send me a private me...
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david62
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0
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260
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Fifth DUI
(Preview)
A-BF got his fifth dui last night. He has been sitting in jail ever since. They are on a skeleton crew and what usually takes 12-24 hours to "cite out" could take double. I am doing as well as I can, although I will admit it is upsetting. I am trying to detach this time and carry on. Had a nic...
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Leetle
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5
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434
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Taking care of me doesn't have to be expensive!
(Preview)
(((((((Family)))))), Good morning and Happy New Year! I got to thinking last night that we all urge each other to do something extra nice for ourselves, take care of ourselves or treat ourselves to something extra special. Well after the holidays that can be an expensive venture or maybe we just do...
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Karilynn
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6
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600
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Update On My Mom and Wish For You
(Preview)
Hi All, We brought my Mom home from the hospital after the doctor used intraveinious antibiotics to calm the inflamation of her gall bladder down. She also has oral antibiotics to take at home. They said that it could never bother her again or it could come back and they would have no choice but to surgic...
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jonibaloni21
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6
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557
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Another Birthday person!!!!!
(Preview)
Happy birthday to our darling Stillkickin!!!! Have fun today kiddo!!! Love, SenoraBob -- Edited by bob6502 at 21:24, 2007-12-28
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bob6502
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13
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499
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Happ New Year
(Preview)
Happy New Year to all Miracles In Progress Family Members!
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John
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6
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469
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too much time to think
(Preview)
I have spent way too much time thinking the past several days. Holidays/weekends are always that way. With spouse sick for several weeks and me recuperating from cancer treatment, we just haven't had much quality of life lately. And of course, there is the periodic traumas of the afflicted son and t...
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omajoy
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3
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500
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time for some gratitude
(Preview)
HI All, I went to a face-to-face meeting this morning and realized what a great place it was to spend the last day of the year. I've done a lot of "expressing" here this past week and I so appreciated the forum. That said, it is time for my gratitude: For this moment, I feel content.... My kids...
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Loupiness
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3
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535
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progress not perfection
(Preview)
I have probably one more month on my job, two at the most. They do not have someone to replace me lined up so I dont' know they will just let me go at the end of January. In the meantime I've been applying for jobs. I went on one interview this week. I have a shot at it. There is one other person in the works. I...
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maresie
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3
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558
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The Disease is Taking a Toll
(Preview)
I am trying to take care of myself. Christmas was OK, I was wanting so much for my daughter, her new little girl (5 weeks old) and her family, me and my husband to all be able to be together. But it was not to be....due to the damage from Alcoholism. But hubby and I exchanged gifts, had a good Christmas with...
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Becky1
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7
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599
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Dishonesty within the program
(Preview)
My wife is an A and is cross addicted to ephedrine. She is attending meetings 6 days a week volunteers at the intergroup office 3 hours a week reads all of the serenity books but continues to use ephedrine. She will use before and after meetings but within the group she does not discuss her continued us...
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davehill60
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3
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649
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I don't want any program.
(Preview)
As I read this message board you all talk about the program. The way that I am feeling I don't want a program to make me feel better. I just want to be mad and stay mad. I haven't started any program and I don't want to. I read a message board that said, " I can't change him I can only change myself."...
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Paws
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12
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864
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Quinine?
(Preview)
Can anyone tell me what role quinine plays in the treatment of alcoholism? My A is taking it and I am not quite sure what it is supposed to do. I have google it and came up with too many hits to even guess which one I should be looking at. Thanks all, lilms
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lilms
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9
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511
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NO MORE DRUNK SEX!
(Preview)
I am so tired of pretending! The sex is awful. it has passed it's glory days. I am too full of resentment for it ever to be good again. I lay there with my eyes rolled in the back of my head hoping it will all be over soon. Sometimes I feel I want to throw up from the terrible alcohol breath barreling up my nos...
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Paws
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5
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903
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Alkathon
(Preview)
Tonight I am going to go to an alkathon! I have never been to one before...it begins at 6PM at a local church and lasts until lunch time tomorrow. There is free dinner and food throughout and lots of non-alcoholic beverages. I think I am going to check it out. I will let you know what it was like. Then again,...
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Jean4444
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4
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587
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Finally Told Him
(Preview)
some of you may remember from my first post here that my bf kicked me and my son out of his home when he was drunk. I've been living on my own now for over a month and I hate it! I thought I would love it, being away from the drama that happens when he drinks. The feeling I used to get when I came home from work an...
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wen5454
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6
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594
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HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY MIP FAMILY!!
(Preview)
(((((((((Family))))))) A very Happy New Year to all of you!!! And a prosperous 2008!!! Prayers for all of you that this year will be a better year for all of us. Love and Blessings, Claudia
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cookie1971
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5
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503
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Correct Word Choices
(Preview)
How I learned to word things differently, especially about myself when the psychiatrist I had the longest decided that from the next visit, I could not use the phrase, "I can't" but had to replace it with "I choose not to," or "I can't decide."
Whatever, I learned t...
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Euoria
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5
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499
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they're almost home
(Preview)
My family is on their way home from their snow trip. I wanted the kids to have a great time and they did! However... Warning - here is my selfish non-al-anon rant - One of the mean things my ah has said to me is that we never had fun together, including on the few vacations we had. This was the first time the...
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Loupiness
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3
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482
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Happy New Year!
(Preview)
(((((((Family)))))), To my world wide Alanon family, I wish you a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR! May it be filled with LOTS of love, laughter, hugs, kisses, serenity, play time, good health, kindness and most of all peace. I treasure each and everyone of you. There was a wonderful old movie with Igmar Berg...
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Karilynn
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3
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296
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God Bless Us EVERYONE...please
(Preview)
Roomies, Wow! What does the Good Lord In His infinite Wisdom want us to learn from these trying times???? Today , my brother showed up at the hospital to see my mom. Today, me and my sister went about 1:30pm and she was laying there asleep. She awoke and drank some apple juice and hurt. We got the nurse to gi...
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jonibaloni21
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9
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575
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Another life lost…to the disease
(Preview)
And ladies and gentlemen, make no mistake, alcoholism is a disease, genetic, progressive and fatal.I have not posted here in awhilebeen divorced 1 ˝ years from my alcoholic ex-husbandYesterday, in my penthouse with a view of NYC, I was preparing to go to the movies with my fiancée and his 12 year ol...
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megan
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13
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700
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