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New Here, Dont know where to start...but here it goes!
(Preview)
Hi everyone! This is probably my first time, posting, venting, etc about this. 16 years ago, when I was 16 years old...I had to come to grips that my sister, who I love and worshiped, was a drug addict/alcoholic. I think back then I was in denial, or maybe just didnt fully understand it. Thankfully she...
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NiceGal
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6
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479
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Obsessing
(Preview)
I'm finding it really hard not to get sucked back in to making all my time about the new boyfriend. I can't get enough. I want to be with him every free moment and have stopped doing things I need to do. I know this. I just can't seem to stop myself. Why quit something so wonderful??? UGH. It's like I h...
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carolinagirl
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6
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595
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Technical Question - chat room access
(Preview)
Sorry to post this here but I have tried emailing the support email and it bounces. I really want to access the chat room/online meetings but my computer won't allow me to install the required active x controls because it is an untrusted publisher. Has anyone else had this problem and know how to fix it...
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Ickle Lynnie
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1
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260
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I'm scared
(Preview)
My name is Kelly and I have two little angels and I'm affaid that Daddy may repeat my past childhood. My AH and I have been separated for almost six months now. I had to go to the State because he wouldn't give my any child support. I have only recieved two checks so far these past 3 weeks. We went to have o...
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kellys_angels
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7
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526
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Lonely and Missing Him - Adult Theme
(Preview)
Hi, After 4 weeks soul searching I have asked AH to move out. Predictably his response has been to hit the bottle, be unkind and engage in self-pitying behaviour while trying to persuade me into bed. I do want to continue our marriage but need some distance in order to cope with his drinking. We haven't...
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Ickle Lynnie
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7
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656
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My recovery has been a rollercoaster...and Man, am I in a big dip.
(Preview)
So, to give you an update and summary. December 30th I asked my AH to leave the house after relapse after relapse. (He was sober for 8 years...relapsed over and over, went to rehab and then continued to relapse). He has been out of the house since then and continues to be out. He has been sober so far, or at...
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Canary
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6
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453
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clinging
(Preview)
I know in my head I have to let go move on with my life. I have made the decision in my logical brain that I have to love me and end this relationship let my ex ab face the consequences of his decisions and respect him enough to let him fix himself. I intended to tell him all this but he is low really low lost evr...
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Tracy
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4
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489
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doing things differently.
(Preview)
I met a woman recently who I hope to make a friend as we have a lot of similar issues. There is so much difference in becoming a friend in recovery from codpendence rather than in total denial and hell bent on getting my needs met. First of all I don't submerge her in love bombing, secondly I don't talk to he...
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maresie
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3
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494
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Overwhelmed.
(Preview)
I'm feeling raw, like I want to cry all of the time. A piece of me wants to just go to sleep and not talk to anyone, while another piece of me is angry and wants to scream at anyone who will listen. I feel sad, and angry, and disgusted all at once. And most of all I feel alone, because my friends and boyfriend don...
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smllfry115
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7
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513
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Therapy??
(Preview)
I wanted to ask you that have been in therapy or going through therapy now, has it helped you? Can going through this process give you any relief? I can feel myself going backward, I may pull out of it by myself, but if therapy helps I am open to it. I understand that no two people are alike and what may work f...
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DreamsOver
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4
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353
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In need of some ESH to get through a gray day~
(Preview)
I have prayed to my HP to let me see with open eyes what it is He wants me to see, and again He does not falter. I usually try not to let my EXABF into my thoughts to often, but after hearing the other day that he was seen out with a young girl, I won't lie, it stung and I finally allowed myself some time, almost a w...
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shellyj123
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1
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315
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In Reading...
(Preview)
Welp today I got up to a sick kid, and things were worrisome none the less, he is sick in bed with a fever, which I am praying works its way thru rather quickly...As I pray...This too will pass.... In reading my devotional books this morning I came across one that mentioned our slogans, and what they mean,...
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Jozie
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1
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386
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Husband arrested for DUI last night
(Preview)
Hi All! It's been a while since I've been here (no major problems the last few months). Unfortunately my husband was arrested last night and our son was in the car. That makes it an automatic felony here in AZ. I happened to be out of the house - it was my night off and I was supposed to be spending a relaxi...
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N8SMOM
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11
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4207
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Step One...
(Preview)
In working Step One, I have come to realize that want to find peace and serenity for my life. I need to change my behaviors and learn how to take care of myself. I realize my life has always been unmanageable due to growing up in an alcohoholic home and currently married to an alcoholic who is in recovery....
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brightmommy
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3
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446
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Another ramble~
(Preview)
Woke up this morning contemplating the meaning of my program and my life. Decided that no matter what, I could not face another week like the past two, where my program was off track and I was struggling with obsessing and what if's and focusing on the A instead of myself. I felt like an insane woman aga...
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shellyj123
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2
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302
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We all need a little more love every day . . .
(Preview)
((((Friends)))), Thanks so much for the well wishes! The last few days have been really tough -- a lot of pain. Keep the prayers coming, I sure do appreciate them. love Maria I got the below from an email this morning and thought we all could use a little more love every day . . . When Children Ages 4-8 wer...
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Maria123
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3
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633
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need some ESH please.
(Preview)
Today I am shakey and tearful....the situation with my A son's health (physical and mental) is deteriorating, I have been speaking with his care workers' and we're all telling him the same thing.....the help is all there for him, but his fears are stopping him taking that 1st step. I am overwhelm...
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Ness
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5
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492
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How did I become the "bad guy"? What next? Need Options Help!
(Preview)
Ok, so Today my son ask if he can go spend the night with his aunt (the sober one) but I said only if the other aunt (not sober one) was not going to be there. So my 14 yr old proceeds to start explaining "yeah My mom has a problem with her and I don't understand why". Which leads into me making him han...
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juicemommie
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6
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711
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Just another shared Thought!
(Preview)
Well after yet again, Lettimg my Abrother, put a wrench in my wonderful day that I had yesterday, I have spoked to my husband and if we have to move it.. "the trailor" we have to move it, either way, when my commitment to my Afather-R.I.P. is up in June, then that is the day that I will worry abo...
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Jozie
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0
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438
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a-brother deteriorating
(Preview)
Brother went on bender sunday night, high as a kite, fell broke his wrist, looks in bad shape from second hand accounts, lost the phone I got him, I owe him 30 euro so am thinking that I should get him replacement which he wants and tell him that I used money owed, fair enough isn't it, Teenage son giving me g...
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maire rua
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7
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526
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New here
(Preview)
My name is Portia. I am from Southern California. I learn of this message board through searching on the web. I hope to learnand meet others as well.
I currently am doing meetings online. today it is a little difficult and I hope as times goes by things will improve in my life. I do have an ABF who is still i...
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angelpm39
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8
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558
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Married to Mr. Grumpy
(Preview)
Are you married to this man, too? Yesterday was Valentine's Day. I posted a wish to us all -- myself included. I also bought myself a couple of gifts!!! My AH did nothing. Well, of course -- why was I expecting anything different? I am not whining here -- just venting. I know that I cannot control an...
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db55
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3
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600
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Fell of the wagon- with my drinking that is.
(Preview)
I knew this was coming. My mood had been bad and I'd been irritable. Went a couple of weeks ago and had two glasses of wine. Convinced myself that it proved I was in control. So last night I tried again and this time failed miserably. This morning I am experiencing all of the results- shakes, headach...
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Codependent
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7
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671
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For my Alanon Family
(Preview)
(((((Family)))), A friend of mine sent me an email with this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco&feature=email Whenever I feel down, I play this song. I'm not sure when you see it if Pipers would do that. I have seen her chase a deer. But I love the sentiment. Lessons from...
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Karilynn
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3
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446
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New to this group not this disease
(Preview)
Hi all! I'm new to this group sadly not to the disease. I did belong to another online group but they have changed providers and don't like it now. For me it's the start of race season and the start of mayhem. My fiance of 6 years and 2 children together is an alcoholic, he knows he's an alcoholic and kno...
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Holly09
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8
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516
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Starting to breath again
(Preview)
I shared a while back that my AH wasn't letting me on this site and wasn't letting me go to f2f al-anon meetings. He is a dry drunk, not in a program and has become very controlling and manipulative. He calls me about every 15 minutes I'm out of his site and it was draining me. I called it emotional abuse and I...
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java
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6
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578
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Another Backslide ....For HIM!!!
(Preview)
Well today I woke up with excitement on my mind, some of our family & friends were planning to go skating with all our kids and us adults, which they did!!!WE had a great time, My ABrother was suppose to be there as well, but it appears that he didn't have the guts to look me in the eye... See my sister cal...
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Jozie
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4
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953
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So lost
(Preview)
I really do not know what to start with first. All i know is that I have no one to talk to and it is really my fault. I need to vent some where safe and to people who might understand. this is going to be long and I apologize if this is not how it works. I just googles online support for alcoholic family members...
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mag
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6
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504
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People pleasing
(Preview)
Hi everyone havent been on here in a while but I have internet access again at home so will be visiting when ever I can get kids of the computer. Quick overview was married to a compulive gambler for 17 years single for a year then started relationship with my AB. I have never experienced anything like t...
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Tracy
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5
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1078
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I just don't know???
(Preview)
I really dont, for some reason today I can't help but think about how Lazy I have been here of late, I don't know what My problem is..I think sometimes it is the winter weather, but then I think it is something deeper then that! I was doing my reading today, and welp... I can't find my "Hope for Today Bo...
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Jozie
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5
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347
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decision
(Preview)
I have got up this morning and worked my program I rang my sponsor and talked about how I want to love me but I feel cruel leaving the a to face the consequences alone. I know the cycle I know what I will get if I keep contact with the A I will be manipulated, I will feel bad about me I will put him first. My A is 34...
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Tracy
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5
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444
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here we go
(Preview)
My ab got in touch before after nearly 3 weeks. I was kind I listened he said he had lost his job and didnt want to tell me. He said he had over slept but I rang the night before and he was missing so more likely he got drunk and never went in. Hwe said he has been on self destruct for 3 weeks and suffering from d...
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Tracy
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4
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461
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Looking back...Sometimes to far....
(Preview)
Welp Last night, I blessed myself with another F2F... I was told by one of my new friends the week before that she would like to hear from me, well lets just say I was a touch nervous for I am one that does not like to let anyone down... Well Except for myself, that seems to be a regular thing for me,... So as I si...
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Jozie
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3
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469
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Valentines day
(Preview)
I know the "holidays' trigger me so I am trying to keep busy. Nevertheless this morning I had a brain wave. Why not just give myself a lot of love, understanding, care and space. That would be my valentine's day gift for me. I am in the process of cleaning up, organizing and sorting myself out....
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maresie
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8
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445
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Didnt see that coming, Again!
(Preview)
Hi (((All))) Today I was upbeat and determined to feel good on Valentines day. Read your posts, made a gratitude list and took note of daily reading about opening myself up to the love available to me from people, the Universe, and my Higher Power. Ok in the back of my mind if I'm honest I was hoping for...
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Mariner
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5
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662
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What an eyeopener-Share on control
(Preview)
Good morning to my wonderful MIP family. Was reading some in my Language of Letting Go this morning and today's devotion just blew me away, and really hit home, especially with the struggle I have been having to get back on track the past 1 1/2 weeks. It reads as follows and I thought some here...
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shellyj123
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2
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416
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The gift of serenity~ Happy Valentine's Day MIP family:)
(Preview)
Woke up this morning dreading the facing of this day in particular-Valentine's Day. YUCKKK!!! It was this day last year that I came to a place in my life that I believed I was capable of finally letting someone into my and my son's life, capable of giving by boyfriend at the time a fair chance. ...
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shellyj123
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2
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406
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My Ahusband sober - neglects, declines, refuses, forgets, other passive behavior
(Preview)
You know that part of the Do's and Don'ts that encourages us to keep a healthy emotional atmosphere in our home? Well, I struggle to keep myself at least pleasant and cordial at all times. I am not a nag. Life is mostly pleasant around here. My AH has more than 20 years sober. I suspect he is clinically...
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Goodgran
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9
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640
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Getting back to my "Normal"
(Preview)
I am getting back to the normal I am learning to be. For me it is not normal for others but it is normal for me. I am also starting to have less trouble with sleep. For that I am so grateful. I am basically turning over some things that before I would really dwell on. I am starting to "get" it! I a...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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403
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help!
(Preview)
hi my name is brad my wife is 3 weeks out of rehab and she went to the bar and drank last nite after church. i am looking for a meeting in my area but havent had any luck yet. im in iniana east of indianapolis anyone know a good one?
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bgcolter
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3
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2097
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surgery update
(Preview)
(((((My dear friends)))))), For those of you who took the time to let me know how much you care, I very much appreciate you. Surgery was Friday and for all intents and purposes, it went well. I had to stay in the hospital a little longer than anticipated but I am on the road to recovery now. It's very slow an...
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Maria123
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14
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618
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AHsober teaching me :)
(Preview)
I just wanted to share with those of you that went through our drama with us (and those that didn't too) that hubby is 3 yrs sober today. He continues to amaze me. He has his own personal program (does not attend AA, never did). I have never seen any dry drunk behavior nor has he faltered and had a slip. H...
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Christy
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10
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1102
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Valentine's Day
(Preview)
Happy Valentine's Day to All Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are YOU! Be my Valentine! Lovingly, db55
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db55
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2
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252
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Happy Valentines Day to me...
(Preview)
I've really been struggling with getting into an exercise routine. Working full-time and having the kids mostly with me, have made it difficult to carve out that time on a regualr basis. The gym is out due to the expense, time and social factor. So, I got to thinking... I did a google search on using t...
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Loupiness
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2
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386
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Talking About the A
(Preview)
Spinning this from the "obstacles" thread... I think it's pretty rare in Alanon to find a person who never talks about their A. Certainly when new in the program, you want to vent and try to communicate your situation, but after a while you begin to realize that we've all been through it in o...
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barisax
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8
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581
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Loving someone that we don't really like~
(Preview)
I read somewhere awhile back that there is a fine line between love and hate. I never understood it then, but can now. When you first meet someone and begin dating, if it is the right person it leads to liking them and then to love.....a natural course of things. I still love my ex very much, but at...
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shellyj123
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5
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450
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Lonely~ volunteer or other ideas wanted
(Preview)
I've noticed since being in the program that the woman who had no time to do ANYTHING, now finds herself lacking something to do and even bored and lonely at times. I stay active with my reading, and my postings and my meetings. I have emailed MIP and volunteered also-but haven't heard back from...
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shellyj123
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5
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525
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Ease my troubles....that's what you do.
(Preview)
It's Valentines day..... To all of my MIP family....... 'The morning sun in all it's glory is filled with hope and comfort too, you fill my heart with gladness, take away my sadness, ease my troubles, that's what you do. Courtesy of 'van the man' morrison. Love to you all Ness
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Ness
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2
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826
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chat room
(Preview)
Hello, When I tried to enter the chat room Service Unavailable appeared on my computer. I got on to here no problem. This has never happened before. I would really appreciate some feedback on this. Regards, daylight
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daylight48
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5
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381
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4 weeks, 12 steps, the rest of my life
(Preview)
I have been with my AH for 8 years and in that time gone through cycles of hope and disappointment over and over again and each time given more of myself to 'support him'. Predictably (to everyone but me) things are back where they were again with him drinking and me depressed but this time my daughter is o...
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Ickle Lynnie
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16
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473
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A bit of gratitude to my MIP family~
(Preview)
I came here yesterday and posted. I was feeling very down about myself and my recovery, feeling very alone in it all. Feeling like I was a huge disappointment to myself and others here and that I was talking the talk but not walking the walk. I have been going through a bit of depression since EABF...
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shellyj123
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3
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326
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I have to find my faith and my focus~
(Preview)
I realized today after some meditation/prayer time, that I haven't been making my program or my HP my number one priority, and I haven't been trusting my HP or having faith in Him, it's almost like I took a step then forgot it. I've been letting myself get so caught up in my EXABF and the &q...
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shellyj123
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7
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423
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Back on track
(Preview)
A couple of days ago I was feeling low and depressed and majorly unfocused. I got to spend some ample time on the chat line and go to some meetings so now I am feeling better. This program works if you work it! Tonight I have a f2f al-anon meeting I plan to go to, so that should help too. Thanks so much for being...
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java
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3
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431
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No skills for this
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners, Haven't posted or responded much lately. I have alot going on at work as always. I do go to my f2f meetings about every two weeks. I go to AA almost every week (I offer to hold a separate meeting for Alanon). I read my literature daily and talk to my sponsor once a week. I feel like I make progres...
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nmike
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7
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477
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I don't know where to turn. Please help me.
(Preview)
Hi I just want to give an overview of my situation. My husband is an alcoholic (who of course, doesn't have a drinking problem) and is also a victim of cancer. Last February, he had a kidney removed because of cancer. We are just now finding out one year later that the cancer may be back again. He drinks all...
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wonderingwhy
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13
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609
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Online Sponser
(Preview)
I am searching fore an online sponser as my f2f meetings I have been unable to connect with anyone. Would someone be willing to help me journey throughthe steps and find myself? I'm looking for someone that has experience with alcoholic spouse and/or child of an alcoholic parent. Thanks!!
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brightmommy
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2
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405
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"Missing Out" has LEFT THE BUILDING!!!
(Preview)
To everyone in my MIP Family I just want you all to know that I went back to being a "NEWBIE" because I was known as "Missing Out" and Thanks to all you wonderful people, I am "Missing Out" NO MORE!!! I am now Jozie... I want to thank Ms. Suz for helping me talk myself into it...
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Jozie
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7
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511
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looking at fear
(Preview)
The 'search' feature has so many wonderful posts about fear and I realize this is another common thread of our lives. The fear that is the most difficult for me right now is the fear of what might happen based on my imagination or based on past experiences that could also contain fear of 'what if'. It ma...
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ddub
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3
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455
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update on b/f and drinking ..can't take it losing my mind! long sorry
(Preview)
last post was when my b/f went to detox afetr drinking for 15 days. ok in detox out of detox drank one hour later>???? then we are going to detox ourselves again. drink something different or not as much and maybe stop for a day or two when i say i can no longer do this. we talk he begs me AGAIN has been goin...
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maryam
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5
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525
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Remember Heartbroken, well she reappears from time to time tho not for long...so help me through this one family, please
(Preview)
Just sometimes, not often, Heartbroken puts in an appearance and I feel myself feeling a bit panicky. Tonight is one of those nights. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I have been ill during the winter months now for so long, infact I have not been feeling too great since August of last year. Perhaps it...
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Suzannah
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6
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580
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