Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Rora · Rora

I have been working and reworking step 2 and 3 for a while now. Today, during a deliberate consultation with my HP I started thinking about how capable I have been in having an imaginary relationship with my aH and how easy it was (is) for me to create something that isn't. It can be good. It can be bad. I hav...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Am I cracking up (Christy don't answer that! ) or does it appear to others that the lists of posts and their fonts have gotten smaller? I have increased the text size, but it still seems to me like the heading above the lists of post has remained the same, but the topic list has shrunk. ...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

So, I was driving home last week, thinking and thinking and thinking about the path my AH is taking. His father told me he wouldn't be surprised if the A lost everything AGAIN and had to go back to their place. So I was unconsciusly working out a plan of what WE would do when HE lost everything LOL, and aski...

angel mom · angel mom

My husband passed from alcoholic poisoning and I'm having a difficult time. Some of his family blames me for his death. I tried to get him help more than once. I took him to detox but it didn't stick. So i gave him and ultimatum to chose his family and get help or his addiction. a few days later he got check in...

Christy · Christy

Our dear Maria is always the one to post everyone's Birthday. (Even just after having surgery.) Thanks Maria, I think it's so thoughtful of you to remember and take the time. Here's what bothers me...you can see how many people took the time to view the "happy birthday" post. How hard is i...

brightmommy · brightmommy

Today's passage from Hope for Today describes how I have forgiven in the past...accepting unacceptable behaviors...I was more less trying to forget it than to forgive. That is why I sunk deep into the past events and relive them over and over in my mind. I have not truly worked through the resentments...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

"Please free my thinking of self will, self seeking, dishonesty and wrong motives". That is a part of a prayer I pray every morning, usually before my feet hit the floor. Yesterday was no different, of course with some limited contact from the EXABF on Tuesday, again my world was feeling a...

tabi1 · tabi1

see my last thread to understand this. i haven't the strength to repeat it. he made contact and we spoke to each other with respect and then... i lost it. last thursday night i told him on email how i felt, how lost i was. his reply was to tell me that this was all about 'him getting better'. he instigated no c...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

I'm happy!1 I'm living alone with my daughter and feeling good. Things with my Ah are fine, I joke with him that I see him more, now that we are not living together. Also, I successfully stated rules NO drinking in my place, and No coming by drunk. And yesterday he called me drunk and I had the ability to tel...

maresie · maresie

Well as you know one person who I had hoped was going to be a friend of mine let me down after promising to meet me sometime last week. This morning was the first time I've seen her since the "stood up". I discussed this issue in therapy so I was well aware this is something I'm pretty awkward at. ...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Hello, I had some lovely responses to my situation when my AH announced from thousands of miles away, that he no longer loved me as a husband should love a wife, that people needed him more than he needed them, that he was like his father (always absent from his life) and that his alcohol problem wasnt goi...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well yesterday I feel like I passed a test finally:) EXABF sent me a comment to my blog about MY 12 step program.....said I was "absolutely glowing" (so he must have been checking out my picts also) and welcomed me to the world of recovery so to speak. The old me would have had to comment back...

desperate for help · desperate for help

Hello! I have been reading alot about alcohol poisioning. My AH drinks every night to the point of passing out every single time he drinks. In reading the information he as showed several symptoms of poisoning like being unconscious, his body sometimes shakes terribly, sometimes he will stop bre...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Hi Everyone! I am so excited to have found this board. My fiance is currently in treatment for drug/alcohol addiction. So far things are going well and he seems positive (has been in treatment before). I guess i am worried about life when he comes back. I hear so many horror stories about early rec...

Canary · Canary

My AH is in the hospital for his drinking. FInally after 3+ days worth, he is in detoxing. I went to see the alcohol counselor yesterday that I had set up for us. We were supposed to go together. He suggested that I go and see him last night. I did. Should I go again today???? I am in turmoil. As much as I know...

Cyn · Cyn

I am not a chaser - I am someone who runs. Every single time a relationship hits a rocky spot and the man in my life walks away from me, I change my number, and keep my distance. I cant fix my A - he is broken. He turns to alcohol to have a good time with friends, having to party it up and prove how cool he is. And...

Ness · Ness

A few of you have suggested that husb may like to come to meetings with me. He is always interested in hearing what I learn from f2f and from posting here. I feel however that if he were there at meetings with me my ability to share would be comprimised.....although I know we can participate in th...

superdebby · superdebby

There is a lot of info on this site and my situation is probably already been advised upon. If someone could send me a link to the appropriate topics, I would be grateful. Brother is 35. Was a functioning alcoholic until a year ago. Quit his job and hasn't done anything since. Went through his saving...

maresie · maresie

http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oathome/slideshow4_ss_tours0206/1

mslouise · mslouise

Hello all. I haven't posted in a while, but look on frequently. I've been doing well. Haven't had contact with my ex bf for five months now. (He left and I don't know where he is - I believe he is staying with his "friends".) I am still going to my meetings, use my slogans regularly and am t...

Cyn · Cyn

I just read someone's post about how hurt people hurt people, and in the end they really are hurting themselves. It made me think about alot. I spent 3 years with a man who fought me every step of the way to starting a life together. Every single stage we went through: moving in with me, getting over hom...

brightmommy · brightmommy

Hope For Today page 50 Thought for the Day says...It takes courage to change. now that i have a Higher Power and program friends to help me, i know there are no limits to my recovery in Al-Anon... Today I am taking the courage to change my behaviors so that I can be a healthier person. I can trust in my HP an...

Cyn · Cyn

3 1/2 years ago I walked away from a man who I was so disgustingly in love with because he was addicted to pills. Now, I feel like I am doing the same thing with someone else I loved, planned to marry, etc. because he is drinking to the point he is becoming violent with me. Two weeks ago was not the first time...

chris52 · chris52

Hello again wonderful Alanoners, It's been a long time since I posted but I just wanted to check in and also let some of my dear Alanoners know that I still care. I don't get to go online very often these days,but when I can I do try to look in. I am doing great..........but it occurred to me the other day that...

Ness · Ness

The events of the last 10 days re my Ason have been testing to say the least. He called us for help (which we took seriously, as he's extremely stubborn and protective of his disease and never asks for help) and we (husb & I) have been in discussions with the people in his assisted housing as to...

Lanchas · Lanchas

I was talking to a friend of mine about how clueless our parents can be about the internet - IMing, chat rooms, message boards.....etc.... how can u explain how to use those things? IM I can explain but how do u explain how to use a chat room or a message board or explain how it works? Lanchas

kam1974 · kam1974

Hello all! I am hoping if I post the goings on of my day today that there maight be others out there that have ESH that might relate. I am truly at a loss of what to do. I plan to call my f2f sponsor in the morning about this issue as well, but I figure the more esh the better!! My AH told me today that he stole, li...

Maria123 · Maria123

Maria gets her best singing voice tuned (oh wait, better not ) Happy Birthday to you Dear Jonibaloni. I hope your day was the best! love ya, YourMaria

ally · ally

(Guys) Not be on in like agessssssss......This was a poem i wrote this morning and decided to share it with you all. I know you will understand it only two well. Hope your all doing well, and shall catch up soon.....Take care.. WHY:: Why do i laugh, Why do i cry, Why do folks leave me, and not say goodbye...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

I broke things off with my qualifier over Christmas. Last Sunday he made a date for this Sunday (yesterday) to sort of reconnect and see how things stand. Okay- I'll give it a shot. (Cue 7 days of angsting over it- should I cancel? How am I going to stay serene and not punch him in the nose?) Turned out I did...

Maria123 · Maria123

Hurt people hurt people. I got it, or so I thought. I learned that all those invitations for fights that I chose to go to only led me to hurt people. If someone lashed out at me, my instinctive reaction was to lambaste them right back and harder if I could. Now I know. I got that part through many, many 24 ho...

maire rua · maire rua

This evening, my neighbour called to ask me about my son's anti social behaviour on the school bus, yes at first I swallowed a load of baloney but finally got to what I think is the truth of the matter. Having laid away a lot of the night, I have decided not to enable my son by covering up for him. He can apolog...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

I feel like crap? i've been sober for over two years now, going to meetings, working my program - doing okay and actually getting better every day, except for this: i recently have been seeing some friends who are very active with alcohol among other things, and they have a way of making me feel very gui...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am super stressed out. I am on my way to a storage unit that my ex AH dumped my stuff into after I left. I had tried to go back and get some of my things but he refused to let me in "his" house with a friend to help carry stuff. The courts and our attny's decided this was the best thing- have him dec...

tabi1 · tabi1

hey, i met my husband 3 and a half years ago online. he's australian and i'm in the uk. he told me within the first couple of weeks that he was a recovering alcoholic. he's not had a drink since 1987. from the begining he liked to have control over when we spoke and for how long. i was shocked at how needy i...

Rora · Rora

I didn't want to "steal the thread" off of Jean and sidetrack her very deserving appreciation of not being on the rollercoaster, so I decided to post a new thread with the thoughts she provoked in me with her thread, "Not getting all whipped up and its really a good thing" I find wi...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Finally finished up my first round through the steps and am now just kind of sitting back letting it all sink in. I was thinking back today, where I was when I first came into this program...still with EXABF and KNOWING I needed help but not really there yet. Just starting to lerk on the boards some. The...

Tracy · Tracy

went to a f2f meeting tonight the subject was self deception. I had a ah ha moment and guilt started to seep into my thoughts I have been focusing on my AB'S behaviours ,thoughts etc etc. I have been trying to fix his life make him into the man i need. He is sick very sick and I am ashamed at the pressure I h...

Jozie · Jozie

I have been told many times... Your past is your past, so leave it there, but as I work thru this program one day at a time...My past "Is'nt" Just my past...It is a part of who I am and who I have become.. It is me... I have a ASister that "Claims" she doesn't remember ANYTHING from our c...

wp · wp

I can't get into the chat room for the meeting ; it just won't load, so maybe others are having the same problem? Just wondered. pw

Jozie · Jozie

Well I woke up this morning with high hopes of making my (usually Difficult) Monday, a good day... My son had a delay, so that put my morning on hold some, and then as I getting ready to load him on the bus I get a phone call telling me that "YET ANOTHER" on of my Old Friends had Overdosed, and not ma...

Tracy · Tracy

My Ab is sow low using all his will to get me to rescue him. He is threatening suicide etc etc. I am emtionally drained by his illness I drove him to a place where he could get help for his problems alocohol/cocaine use. There is a lot of emtional stuff to be dealt with too. He is asking for my supprt but ev...

rorussell9 · rorussell9

I could really use some response. I've been crying all day. I know nothing about drugs and alcohol.I can see how crazy it makes my child. Tough love is really hard for me because I've been codependent with this child from day one. He's an adopted specialneeds child. It's hardnot to be the care taker....

Cin238 · Cin238

Hi everyone...I'm new here and am hoping to get some advice before I drive myself nuts. I've sat in front of my computer for five minutes now, not knowing where to start. I'll try to keep this simple. My ABF is currently in rehab and coming home soon. I'm a wreck because I don't know how to handle this or him...

Loupiness · Loupiness

"If the only prayer you say in your life is 'Thank you,' that would suffice." - Meister Eckart This was the quote on the program passed out at the funeral I went to yesterday for a 22 yr old who was killed by 18 yr old drunk driver. The guy went through a red light at 70 mph. He walked away from the ac...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My family has been dealing with his addiction for ten years, those years have been about him stealing from us, lying to us, and causing such upheaval in our lives. We adopted our son when he was 5 mos. old, it couldn't have been a happier day for our family, we loved him and always told him the truth about hi...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Last night at my f2f meeting the topic was gratitude. It was so nice to listen to everyone share something good and happy that was going on in their lives, as we all know Alcoholism does not always bring out the good and happy in us. When I got home I got to thinking about how I was when I began here and how far...

Tracy · Tracy

My ab is supposed to be going for help on tuesday. This got me thinking even if he doesnt drink , even if he stops using cocaine. HE has hurt me so much over the past 4 years. He has no job and no prospects of a good one. He is very irrisponsible and lives for the day. I on the other hand have a good job, I am w...

brightmommy · brightmommy

My struggle is how to move forward after all the hurt and pain that has been caused by the addiction in a marriage. My husband is now in recovery and has been for 7 months this time. He has said and done a lot of things during the active addiction that he would not normally do. He has had several emotional...

Canary · Canary

So, after 3 full days of drinking, my husband is in a hospital. His sister went and found him....brought him to a meeting. AH was saying he was going to kill himself. So, she called thepolice and they brought him to the hospital. She called me to tell me that he is there. And when I said that I wouldn't come...

Canary · Canary

I so believe in things happening for a reason. Just like how the book Getting THem Sober arrived in my mailbox the day my AH started drinking again and I was faced with having to deal with it. It was my miracle. It could have come any other day...but it came then. Then today, while at work, my nurse manager c...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Just wanted to say thank you for all your wonderful replies. I just needed some afffirmation what I did know in my heart. I need to turn sister and her family over to their HP. All I can do is be there for my nieces when they need me. It's frustrating for me, as it is for everyone who goe...

maresie · maresie

In April it will be two years since I left the ex A. I physically moved out from him two years ago. About this time I was frantically working a really basic plan be. I have to say its taken two years to emerge from the grief, rage and shadow of his chaos. I think its also taken two years to let go, let go of th...

ddub · ddub

I have been in a holding pattern probably longer than I am aware of but at least I am aware now. This holding pattern I can accept now as ok as I have learned that I may still be confused. Is it a positive to understand more or gather courage to take the next step or could it be a negative frought with fear or l...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

I just started therapy for the first time ever. The therapist is very familiar with and supportive of Al-anon. Yesterday was my third session and it felt like it's dredging up 100 resentments and hurts I thought I'd gotten past with Al-anon help. I feel like Al-anon is all about moving on. Just for to...

luvinmom · luvinmom

My son was discharged today from his 3/4 house and after doing his laundry he went to take a AA meeting. From there he was checking back in a halfway house. He really likes the support and understanding has spent the last 2 two months taking a long hard look at himself and his drinking. He says he knows i...

Monica77 · Monica77

So, I'm new to this group. I'm hoping that through chatting and sharing that I will be able to get over some hurdles from the past. Both my parents were alcoholics and drugs addicts when i was growing up. they are clean now (a huge blessing I appreciate fully) but I still hold onto a lot of my junk. now i f...

Jozie · Jozie

I found a carrot and two lumps of coal on my sidewalk and wondered what they were doing there. I thought it odd. Suddenly remembering that a snowman once stood on that place, I chuckled at my own suspicious thoughts. Even so I had an eerie feeling of something strangely familiar. I kept staring at the coa...

Canary · Canary

I fear for his life but I am not looking for him. I am not calling him. So, I sit and wait for the phone ring. But not really wait. I am going to work....finding babysitters for my babies and talking to friends, trying not to isolate. But I still fear. He is 53 years old.....a diabetic and drinking now for al...

mia883 · mia883

Anyone knows how the expression came about? "Take what you like and leave the rest" Who uses it? When is it used? Why is it used? Where is it used? How is it used? What does it mean? Jenny -- Edited by mia883 at 19:39, 2009-02-20 -- Edited by canadianguy at 01:26, 2009-02-24

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Building a relationship with HP... (Preview) I have been working and reworking step 2 and 3 for a while now. Today, during a deliberate consultation with my HP I started thinking about how capable I have been in having an imaginary relationship with my aH and how easy it was (is) for me to create something that isn't. It can be good. It can be bad. I hav...	Rora	3	639	Feb 27, 2009 by hotrod
	Am I cracking up? (Preview) (((((Family)))), Am I cracking up (Christy don't answer that! ) or does it appear to others that the lists of posts and their fonts have gotten smaller? I have increased the text size, but it still seems to me like the heading above the lists of post has remained the same, but the topic list has shrunk. ...	Karilynn	7	558	Feb 27, 2009 by ddub
	Words from my HP (Preview) So, I was driving home last week, thinking and thinking and thinking about the path my AH is taking. His father told me he wouldn't be surprised if the A lost everything AGAIN and had to go back to their place. So I was unconsciusly working out a plan of what WE would do when HE lost everything LOL, and aski...	Priscilla83	4	492	Feb 27, 2009 by ddub
	How do deal...How to heal??? (Preview) My husband passed from alcoholic poisoning and I'm having a difficult time. Some of his family blames me for his death. I tried to get him help more than once. I took him to detox but it didn't stick. So i gave him and ultimatum to chose his family and get help or his addiction. a few days later he got check in...	angel mom	10	733	Feb 27, 2009 by Christy
	Something that bothers me here... (Preview) Our dear Maria is always the one to post everyone's Birthday. (Even just after having surgery.) Thanks Maria, I think it's so thoughtful of you to remember and take the time. Here's what bothers me...you can see how many people took the time to view the "happy birthday" post. How hard is i...	Christy	13	744	Feb 27, 2009 by Christy
	Hope for Today... (Preview) Today's passage from Hope for Today describes how I have forgiven in the past...accepting unacceptable behaviors...I was more less trying to forget it than to forgive. That is why I sunk deep into the past events and relive them over and over in my mind. I have not truly worked through the resentments...	brightmommy	3	480	Feb 27, 2009 by nmike
	Codependant crazies......Out of control like a snowball heading downhill (Preview) "Please free my thinking of self will, self seeking, dishonesty and wrong motives". That is a part of a prayer I pray every morning, usually before my feet hit the floor. Yesterday was no different, of course with some limited contact from the EXABF on Tuesday, again my world was feeling a...	shellyj123	9	1103	Feb 26, 2009 by luvinmom
	please help me (Preview) see my last thread to understand this. i haven't the strength to repeat it. he made contact and we spoke to each other with respect and then... i lost it. last thursday night i told him on email how i felt, how lost i was. his reply was to tell me that this was all about 'him getting better'. he instigated no c...	tabi1	20	850	Feb 26, 2009 by kitty
	Happy!! (Preview) I'm happy!1 I'm living alone with my daughter and feeling good. Things with my Ah are fine, I joke with him that I see him more, now that we are not living together. Also, I successfully stated rules NO drinking in my place, and No coming by drunk. And yesterday he called me drunk and I had the ability to tel...	Priscilla83	5	478	Feb 26, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Good awkward, bad awkward (Preview) Well as you know one person who I had hoped was going to be a friend of mine let me down after promising to meet me sometime last week. This morning was the first time I've seen her since the "stood up". I discussed this issue in therapy so I was well aware this is something I'm pretty awkward at. ...	maresie	5	1157	Feb 26, 2009 by maresie
	Back from Dubai and still waiting in limbo..... (Preview) Hello, I had some lovely responses to my situation when my AH announced from thousands of miles away, that he no longer loved me as a husband should love a wife, that people needed him more than he needed them, that he was like his father (always absent from his life) and that his alcohol problem wasnt goi...	Lilly Burn	7	1070	Feb 26, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	The OLD me v/s the NEW me......... (Preview) Well yesterday I feel like I passed a test finally:) EXABF sent me a comment to my blog about MY 12 step program.....said I was "absolutely glowing" (so he must have been checking out my picts also) and welcomed me to the world of recovery so to speak. The old me would have had to comment back...	shellyj123	9	636	Feb 26, 2009 by Jean4444
	Alcohol Poisioning (Preview) Hello! I have been reading alot about alcohol poisioning. My AH drinks every night to the point of passing out every single time he drinks. In reading the information he as showed several symptoms of poisoning like being unconscious, his body sometimes shakes terribly, sometimes he will stop bre...	desperate for help	5	649	Feb 25, 2009 by Christy
	Newbie to alanon, life after treatment (Preview) Hi Everyone! I am so excited to have found this board. My fiance is currently in treatment for drug/alcohol addiction. So far things are going well and he seems positive (has been in treatment before). I guess i am worried about life when he comes back. I hear so many horror stories about early rec...	inhisarms	8	712	Feb 25, 2009 by Jozie
	Do I go to see him in the hospital or do I not?? Wow...tough one. (Preview) My AH is in the hospital for his drinking. FInally after 3+ days worth, he is in detoxing. I went to see the alcohol counselor yesterday that I had set up for us. We were supposed to go together. He suggested that I go and see him last night. I did. Should I go again today???? I am in turmoil. As much as I know...	Canary	10	571	Feb 25, 2009 by inhisarms
	Allowing others to move forward and keeping steady myself (Preview) I am not a chaser - I am someone who runs. Every single time a relationship hits a rocky spot and the man in my life walks away from me, I change my number, and keep my distance. I cant fix my A - he is broken. He turns to alcohol to have a good time with friends, having to party it up and prove how cool he is. And...	Cyn	5	543	Feb 25, 2009 by maresie
	f2f as a couple....any thoughts on this? (Preview) A few of you have suggested that husb may like to come to meetings with me. He is always interested in hearing what I learn from f2f and from posting here. I feel however that if he were there at meetings with me my ability to share would be comprimised.....although I know we can participate in th...	Ness	7	545	Feb 25, 2009 by Ness
	Newbie - Concerned sister (Preview) There is a lot of info on this site and my situation is probably already been advised upon. If someone could send me a link to the appropriate topics, I would be grateful. Brother is 35. Was a functioning alcoholic until a year ago. Quit his job and hasn't done anything since. Went through his saving...	superdebby	7	598	Feb 25, 2009 by maresie
	Celebration (Preview) http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oathome/slideshow4_ss_tours0206/1	maresie	3	501	Feb 25, 2009 by maire rua
	Doing Well (Preview) Hello all. I haven't posted in a while, but look on frequently. I've been doing well. Haven't had contact with my ex bf for five months now. (He left and I don't know where he is - I believe he is staying with his "friends".) I am still going to my meetings, use my slogans regularly and am t...	mslouise	4	455	Feb 25, 2009 by buick23
	Hurting (Preview) I just read someone's post about how hurt people hurt people, and in the end they really are hurting themselves. It made me think about alot. I spent 3 years with a man who fought me every step of the way to starting a life together. Every single stage we went through: moving in with me, getting over hom...	Cyn	4	616	Feb 25, 2009 by Jerry F
	Just for Today (Preview) Hope For Today page 50 Thought for the Day says...It takes courage to change. now that i have a Higher Power and program friends to help me, i know there are no limits to my recovery in Al-Anon... Today I am taking the courage to change my behaviors so that I can be a healthier person. I can trust in my HP an...	brightmommy	3	477	Feb 25, 2009 by Jerry F
	Never thought I would be back here.... (Preview) 3 1/2 years ago I walked away from a man who I was so disgustingly in love with because he was addicted to pills. Now, I feel like I am doing the same thing with someone else I loved, planned to marry, etc. because he is drinking to the point he is becoming violent with me. Two weeks ago was not the first time...	Cyn	8	601	Feb 25, 2009 by Jerry F
	PROGRESS UPDATE (Preview) Hello again wonderful Alanoners, It's been a long time since I posted but I just wanted to check in and also let some of my dear Alanoners know that I still care. I don't get to go online very often these days,but when I can I do try to look in. I am doing great..........but it occurred to me the other day that...	chris52	7	551	Feb 24, 2009 by Rora
	Testing times (Preview) The events of the last 10 days re my Ason have been testing to say the least. He called us for help (which we took seriously, as he's extremely stubborn and protective of his disease and never asks for help) and we (husb & I) have been in discussions with the people in his assisted housing as to...	Ness	8	513	Feb 24, 2009 by Ness
	chat room 101 (Preview) I was talking to a friend of mine about how clueless our parents can be about the internet - IMing, chat rooms, message boards.....etc.... how can u explain how to use those things? IM I can explain but how do u explain how to use a chat room or a message board or explain how it works? Lanchas	Lanchas	3	472	Feb 24, 2009 by Jozie
	Looking for ESH, financial issues, trust, etc (Preview) Hello all! I am hoping if I post the goings on of my day today that there maight be others out there that have ESH that might relate. I am truly at a loss of what to do. I plan to call my f2f sponsor in the morning about this issue as well, but I figure the more esh the better!! My AH told me today that he stole, li...	kam1974	6	701	Feb 24, 2009 by aunitedway
	Saturday's Birthday Girl - Jonibaloni (Preview) Maria gets her best singing voice tuned (oh wait, better not ) Happy Birthday to you Dear Jonibaloni. I hope your day was the best! love ya, YourMaria	Maria123	10	533	Feb 24, 2009 by aunitedway
	"WHY" (Preview) (Guys) Not be on in like agessssssss......This was a poem i wrote this morning and decided to share it with you all. I know you will understand it only two well. Hope your all doing well, and shall catch up soon.....Take care.. WHY:: Why do i laugh, Why do i cry, Why do folks leave me, and not say goodbye...	ally	6	601	Feb 24, 2009 by aunitedway
	My brain sucks (Preview) I broke things off with my qualifier over Christmas. Last Sunday he made a date for this Sunday (yesterday) to sort of reconnect and see how things stand. Okay- I'll give it a shot. (Cue 7 days of angsting over it- should I cancel? How am I going to stay serene and not punch him in the nose?) Turned out I did...	gngcrzy	6	754	Feb 24, 2009 by maresie
	Hurt People Hurt People - Take Two (Preview) Hurt people hurt people. I got it, or so I thought. I learned that all those invitations for fights that I chose to go to only led me to hurt people. If someone lashed out at me, my instinctive reaction was to lambaste them right back and harder if I could. Now I know. I got that part through many, many 24 ho...	Maria123	6	860	Feb 24, 2009 by Cyn
	Fear, lack of focus (Preview) This evening, my neighbour called to ask me about my son's anti social behaviour on the school bus, yes at first I swallowed a load of baloney but finally got to what I think is the truth of the matter. Having laid away a lot of the night, I have decided not to enable my son by covering up for him. He can apolog...	maire rua	3	526	Feb 24, 2009 by maresie
	Why do....? (Preview) I feel like crap? i've been sober for over two years now, going to meetings, working my program - doing okay and actually getting better every day, except for this: i recently have been seeing some friends who are very active with alcohol among other things, and they have a way of making me feel very gui...	CAM0914	6	623	Feb 24, 2009 by Karilynn
	Getting triggered... (Preview) I am super stressed out. I am on my way to a storage unit that my ex AH dumped my stuff into after I left. I had tried to go back and get some of my things but he refused to let me in "his" house with a friend to help carry stuff. The courts and our attny's decided this was the best thing- have him dec...	Jean4444	6	488	Feb 24, 2009 by Karilynn
	tired, hurt and confused (Preview) hey, i met my husband 3 and a half years ago online. he's australian and i'm in the uk. he told me within the first couple of weeks that he was a recovering alcoholic. he's not had a drink since 1987. from the begining he liked to have control over when we spoke and for how long. i was shocked at how needy i...	tabi1	10	891	Feb 24, 2009 by Cyn
	Spin off of Jean4444 post....relationships and drama (Preview) I didn't want to "steal the thread" off of Jean and sidetrack her very deserving appreciation of not being on the rollercoaster, so I decided to post a new thread with the thoughts she provoked in me with her thread, "Not getting all whipped up and its really a good thing" I find wi...	Rora	4	709	Feb 23, 2009 by Jerry F
	Twelve of the most rewarding steps I've ever taken~ (Preview) Finally finished up my first round through the steps and am now just kind of sitting back letting it all sink in. I was thinking back today, where I was when I first came into this program...still with EXABF and KNOWING I needed help but not really there yet. Just starting to lerk on the boards some. The...	shellyj123	4	539	Feb 23, 2009 by luvinmom
	self deception (Preview) went to a f2f meeting tonight the subject was self deception. I had a ah ha moment and guilt started to seep into my thoughts I have been focusing on my AB'S behaviours ,thoughts etc etc. I have been trying to fix his life make him into the man i need. He is sick very sick and I am ashamed at the pressure I h...	Tracy	5	827	Feb 23, 2009 by luvinmom
	My slow bettering steps... (Preview) I have been told many times... Your past is your past, so leave it there, but as I work thru this program one day at a time...My past "Is'nt" Just my past...It is a part of who I am and who I have become.. It is me... I have a ASister that "Claims" she doesn't remember ANYTHING from our c...	Jozie	9	697	Feb 23, 2009 by Jozie
	room won't open (Preview) I can't get into the chat room for the meeting ; it just won't load, so maybe others are having the same problem? Just wondered. pw	wp	6	481	Feb 23, 2009 by Christy
	Somethings I guess are just not ment tobe understood... (Preview) Well I woke up this morning with high hopes of making my (usually Difficult) Monday, a good day... My son had a delay, so that put my morning on hold some, and then as I getting ready to load him on the bus I get a phone call telling me that "YET ANOTHER" on of my Old Friends had Overdosed, and not ma...	Jozie	8	751	Feb 23, 2009 by hotrod
	kindness weakness (Preview) My Ab is sow low using all his will to get me to rescue him. He is threatening suicide etc etc. I am emtionally drained by his illness I drove him to a place where he could get help for his problems alocohol/cocaine use. There is a lot of emtional stuff to be dealt with too. He is asking for my supprt but ev...	Tracy	6	833	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	looking for support (Preview) I could really use some response. I've been crying all day. I know nothing about drugs and alcohol.I can see how crazy it makes my child. Tough love is really hard for me because I've been codependent with this child from day one. He's an adopted specialneeds child. It's hardnot to be the care taker....	rorussell9	7	586	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	New here...Alcoholic Boyfriend coming home from Rehab..need advice (Preview) Hi everyone...I'm new here and am hoping to get some advice before I drive myself nuts. I've sat in front of my computer for five minutes now, not knowing where to start. I'll try to keep this simple. My ABF is currently in rehab and coming home soon. I'm a wreck because I don't know how to handle this or him...	Cin238	6	4930	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	a lesson in forgiveness... (Preview) "If the only prayer you say in your life is 'Thank you,' that would suffice." - Meister Eckart This was the quote on the program passed out at the funeral I went to yesterday for a 22 yr old who was killed by 18 yr old drunk driver. The guy went through a red light at 70 mph. He walked away from the ac...	Loupiness	7	701	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	My Son..... (Preview) My family has been dealing with his addiction for ten years, those years have been about him stealing from us, lying to us, and causing such upheaval in our lives. We adopted our son when he was 5 mos. old, it couldn't have been a happier day for our family, we loved him and always told him the truth about hi...	DreamsOver	4	472	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	Keys to a whole new life~ (Preview) Last night at my f2f meeting the topic was gratitude. It was so nice to listen to everyone share something good and happy that was going on in their lives, as we all know Alcoholism does not always bring out the good and happy in us. When I got home I got to thinking about how I was when I began here and how far...	shellyj123	2	592	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	need to stick to it (Preview) My ab is supposed to be going for help on tuesday. This got me thinking even if he doesnt drink , even if he stops using cocaine. HE has hurt me so much over the past 4 years. He has no job and no prospects of a good one. He is very irrisponsible and lives for the day. I on the other hand have a good job, I am w...	Tracy	5	470	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	how to move foward... (Preview) My struggle is how to move forward after all the hurt and pain that has been caused by the addiction in a marriage. My husband is now in recovery and has been for 7 months this time. He has said and done a lot of things during the active addiction that he would not normally do. He has had several emotional...	brightmommy	5	661	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	Well, my AH is now in the hospital. His family wants me to rescue.....and I won't (Preview) So, after 3 full days of drinking, my husband is in a hospital. His sister went and found him....brought him to a meeting. AH was saying he was going to kill himself. So, she called thepolice and they brought him to the hospital. She called me to tell me that he is there. And when I said that I wouldn't come...	Canary	4	654	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	I truly know that God is carrying me. (Preview) I so believe in things happening for a reason. Just like how the book Getting THem Sober arrived in my mailbox the day my AH started drinking again and I was faced with having to deal with it. It was my miracle. It could have come any other day...but it came then. Then today, while at work, my nurse manager c...	Canary	4	521	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	Thank you. (Preview) (((((Family)))), Just wanted to say thank you for all your wonderful replies. I just needed some afffirmation what I did know in my heart. I need to turn sister and her family over to their HP. All I can do is be there for my nieces when they need me. It's frustrating for me, as it is for everyone who goe...	Karilynn	3	580	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	Two years on emerging with a new focus. (Preview) In April it will be two years since I left the ex A. I physically moved out from him two years ago. About this time I was frantically working a really basic plan be. I have to say its taken two years to emerge from the grief, rage and shadow of his chaos. I think its also taken two years to let go, let go of th...	maresie	3	561	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	courage (Preview) I have been in a holding pattern probably longer than I am aware of but at least I am aware now. This holding pattern I can accept now as ok as I have learned that I may still be confused. Is it a positive to understand more or gather courage to take the next step or could it be a negative frought with fear or l...	ddub	6	711	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	Another question about therapy (Preview) I just started therapy for the first time ever. The therapist is very familiar with and supportive of Al-anon. Yesterday was my third session and it felt like it's dredging up 100 resentments and hurts I thought I'd gotten past with Al-anon help. I feel like Al-anon is all about moving on. Just for to...	gngcrzy	8	632	Feb 23, 2009 by kitty
	frightening experience (Preview) My son was discharged today from his 3/4 house and after doing his laundry he went to take a AA meeting. From there he was checking back in a halfway house. He really likes the support and understanding has spent the last 2 two months taking a long hard look at himself and his drinking. He says he knows i...	luvinmom	5	662	Feb 23, 2009 by Maria123
	dealing with perfectionism (Preview) So, I'm new to this group. I'm hoping that through chatting and sharing that I will be able to get over some hurdles from the past. Both my parents were alcoholics and drugs addicts when i was growing up. they are clean now (a huge blessing I appreciate fully) but I still hold onto a lot of my junk. now i f...	Monica77	6	2058	Feb 23, 2009 by Maria123
	Feb. 22 Readings...HOPE FOR ME!!! (Preview) I found a carrot and two lumps of coal on my sidewalk and wondered what they were doing there. I thought it odd. Suddenly remembering that a snowman once stood on that place, I chuckled at my own suspicious thoughts. Even so I had an eerie feeling of something strangely familiar. I kept staring at the coa...	Jozie	3	580	Feb 23, 2009 by Maria123
	Day 3 of his constant drinking adn I fear for his life. (Preview) I fear for his life but I am not looking for him. I am not calling him. So, I sit and wait for the phone ring. But not really wait. I am going to work....finding babysitters for my babies and talking to friends, trying not to isolate. But I still fear. He is 53 years old.....a diabetic and drinking now for al...	Canary	8	783	Feb 22, 2009 by troyo
	"Take what you like and leave the rest"? what does that mean? (Preview) Anyone knows how the expression came about? "Take what you like and leave the rest" Who uses it? When is it used? Why is it used? Where is it used? How is it used? What does it mean? Jenny -- Edited by mia883 at 19:39, 2009-02-20 -- Edited by canadianguy at 01:26, 2009-02-24	mia883	8	1042	Feb 22, 2009 by wp
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.