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Well today I woke up with excitement on my mind, some of our family & friends were planning to go skating with all our kids and us adults, which they did!!!WE had a great time, My ABrother was suppose to be there as well, but it appears that he didn't have the guts to look me in the eye... See my sister called me and told me that the place that my Afather owned "He Past"...that I was trying to get him in, because he didn't have a home for his kids & I honestly thought... That this would be differant because it would give him responsiblity, courage, self respect, something to call his own... Well my sister has a habit of telling me things That I have told her time and time again that "I don't want to know", you would have to know her to understand... BUT... She proceeds to tell me that before my Abrother got moved in, he just had a fight with the landlord of the property, apparently they told him that he couldn't move in to the place untill they got a securty deposit, well that was on him, not me... So I guess he went out and got drunk, and got into a fight with "The Mother of his kids", so he went to there to stay, the landlord showed up and he got smart with her because he was drunk, and now the trailor may have to be moved... FUNNY THING THO... He doesn't have to move it, I DO... For I am still responsible for my father belongings until June... Soooo Now what... I wanted to go and just flip out on him, but ya know, I have done that so many times, and I am really trying to work my program to make ME a better person, and mother, and I am trying to Lead by example...But my old ways seem to make me feel better at least for that second, but then I feel horrible... So this is were I am now... Seems like everytime I start really getting going in my program and things start to go in the direction that my HP and I are headed, there always has to be a wrench thru right in the middle of my progress... aaarrrgggg..... I am trying to stay out of it, until I have no choice but to handle it, but at this point, I am trying not to go back to my "control freek" ways were I walk in, and deal with it, because I know if i do, the progress I make with my brother would end, because he knows, I am done with his excuses, and his lies, so now I guess he will just "TEXT" me in stead of face me... But I know that is his problem but why does it always seem like mine? I just don't know... Don't know if I ever will... Seems like I have been happy to long and this is yet another thing just to bring me down....I have read the Sernity Prayer about 35 times today in my head, and read my daily readers, and tho they help... It still doesn't change the "Habit to Worry" about "What's NEXT NOW!!" Trying to take it one day at a time, just a few I wish wouldn't exist at all.. Any ESH would be most grateful....
You gave your brother a huge chance I don't think that is anything that is wrong with that. He didn't live up to his side of the bargain. I seem to remember you were aware he might not be able to to. I don't see anything at all wrong in your actions to give him a chance.
I know a huge part of my current life is about cleaning up lots of mess that happened when I lived with an A. I can't say I liked any of it. Neverthless the "mess" got me to al anon and to therapy (again) and that's a great enrichment to my life.
I hope that in being here and having people where you can go and be "real" is a help to you.
Yes its certainly a huge disappointment your brother let you down. I knwo for me its huge the ex A i was with went on yet another bender. At the same time I think I "knew" that for years but didn't want to accept the way he really was. I gave him chances till there were none left to give. In some ways my "bottom" was the beginning of really taking care or me.
I hope this will be a time you begin taking care of you, set limits, and hand your brother over to his HP to take care of.
Just came from lunch with the speaker from our Sunday SOS (Serenity on Sunday) meeting and the lunches are always soooo much fun and meeting after the meeting. We talked about a lot of stuff and the others at the do some deeper intimate sharing. Part of the conversation was coming to and knowing after "practice, practice, practice" how and when and why to say "I don't have to (do it)"... rather than just no! no! no! over and over and repeatedly caving in. "Why don't you do it?" "Because I don't have to." My permission and message to myself.
There's a big difference between a suicide and rescue mission.
Hi Jozie, It is a difficult situation that you are in. You certainly did offer your brother a great opportunity to rebuild his life. I am sorry he was not able to go forward with his plans.
I too was responsible for my son's possessions (house, race car tools etc) after he passed away. It is a huge responsibility and difficult to administer.
Since you are responsible for the trailor until June can you think of an alternate plan for disposing of it without moving it? Donating it, or selling it. Another choice would be to discuss alternatives with the owner who has been upset by your brother. Hopefully an agreement could be reached.
Thanks to all for your ESH... I know that I have done what I can do, but I also know that it still doesn't feel any better that he has let me down once more... The thing the ticks me the most is the cost that it will take to get it moved, is around 1200.00... I tried donating it to the local fire dept, but at the time they didn't have a place or the means to move it, but we will see... I am tring to stay back far enough were HE has to deal with the landlords and what not, and see if HE can work it out with them, but if he can't by the time my responsibility to my father is up, then I will go in like gang busters AGAIN, and thro him out on his rear AGAIN... Just gets old after a while, and frankly I am sick of it... Spoke to him on the phone yesterday, and he didn't even breathe a word about his fight with them or the problems he has caused so neither did it... Trying to let him be a "BIG BOY"... We will see how that works out soon enough...
Thanks so much for taking time to respond, I am most grateful for ALL your thoughts... Love & Prayers.. Jozie
Any ESH would be most grateful....