Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Wasn't planning on going to my F2F meeting last night. Really didn't feel I had anything to offer anyone anywhere and had no intention of going in there and raining on everyone's parade with my "I don't know if I want to be a part of this program anymore or not" attitude. Well my sis in law had...

lmw · lmw

My A picked up again last Friday night. He got paid for a half month and today the money is gone. After being sober since mid-December, he's once again in the grips. It seems like he does this dance twice a year, minimum - spring and fall. And I'm resisting the urge to help him. He's got an arrest warra...

hort7 · hort7

And I was OK!!! So, I am new to Al-anon, I have posted once here and have been to 4 meetings. I went to a meeting on Wednesday and they were reading about slogans. On the drive home, I started thinking about why One Day at a Time is hard for me. I realized that from the time I was very small I was taught by my pare...

kitty · kitty

My b/f & I had a misunderstanding last night. I'm not really sure what happened, we tried to talk about it - we were both confused. He made a comment which I perceived very negatively - at any rate, I got up walked in the other room & burst into tears. I was trying to logically understand why I was c...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Six of my husband's friends flew in from out of town to confront him about his drinking this morning. It only took a few minutes, but they managed to do what we haven't the past 3 days - and that was to get himself into rehab. So I helped check him in and it was quite a long process - the whole thing took about 2...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

My AH as you probably know, left me In January, left his business, his children who didnt live with us, but whom we saw every other weekend, and his whole life and went to the west indies, a geographical cure is what i believe its called, getting away from the problem. He told me he didnt love me as a husband...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Horrible voice message on my landline last night from my AH who left me in January, I ended up all night and I have to go to work this morning. It went along the lines of "you will have to talk to me sometime" (will I?) I assume its you been telling my ex (mother of his daughter) that Ive got lots of m...

deserve_more · deserve_more

When I 1st came clean (maybe only a few months ago) to my oldest friends about my AH, I was in a crisis. After a few hrs on the phone (they're long distance), they convinced me to find activities to take care of myself' 'What makes you happy/peaceful/relaxed? What can you do to take care of you?' For me it wa...

marmare · marmare

I can't remember the last time I posted....My AH has been in a controlled drinking state for so long I had forgotten what it was like to sit and wait for the other shoe to drop...the last 3 weeks or so has been a reminder to me.....today I had to look up the 3 C's....didn't cause it, can't control it, and can'...

clara · clara

I have been reading and posting on this board for several weeks. So many have such horrible situations to deal with on a daily basis. Some of you have alcholic husband/or wife. Some have son or daughter that has the problem. Married to them, you have an oath you took before God, for better or worse,...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a Happy Passover and Blessed Easter Season. Passover starts tonight at sundown. Easter is only a few days away. After all that has happened to my town in the past week I am reminded how short life is. I have gone to a few public memorial servi...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Hey all, well as my last post states i have been living life for me. Not much contact with ABF and things were peacful. Toay i got a call telling me he relapsed, was seen drinking and passed out. I made a stand and kept my boundaries as i did not rush over.....I did make a few calls and found he has not been s...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Okay, so my A is going on two weeks sober. I need help keeping it simple. This is the thing: he has been gone from home 1/2 of the year for the last 10 years due to work. The time he is home he is under the influence of something 1/2 of the year. He has been home since November of 08 because he got hurt. And n...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

to anyone ever again that doesn't understand what it is like to have an addicted family member, in my case it's my firstborn son. I had a friend that I thought I could confide in, someone that cared about me. We have been friends for years, we became close when my son was a senior in high school and he was r...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I truly do enjoy being home alone free to do anything my heart desires. Listen to "MY" music, watch my t.v. shows, mess around online, anything at all. Let my hair down so to speak. But as I was just looking around the kitchen to clean here and there, what do I find? A half gallon of Jack Daniels....

Jozie · Jozie

WOW... I can honestly say that I have not been this "strungout" in as long as I can remember, I can not focus on any one things for my mind will not let go of currant surroundings, today I went to town to just "Walk around" in Circles more or less because I didn't really need anything b...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well yesterday am woke up to an email from EXABF, whom I have not heard from in a week since he needed another "break" to "figure things out". It basically said that he really wasn't planning on doing any emailing this weekend but didn't want me to think he was ignoring me eithe...

maresie · maresie

I believe I stayed with the ex A because I did not want to deal with the wreckage of our relationship. When I met him I was on the up, good job, looked great, popular and had many choices. My credit was good. Now I don't look great (need to lose 40 lbs) my credit is wrecked need 5 years to clean it up, the econom...

maresie · maresie

Basically to really cut it short, children attache themselves to their parents by having a safe haven and an environment that is responsive to them. I grew up with neither. Violence and neglect were the common denominators of my childhood. So in doing a 4th step with my sponsor I'm beginning to see tha...

Tired Mom · Tired Mom

I want to thank everyone who responded to my initial post from 10 days ago. I'm sorry to say that since then things have spiralled our of control and I was forced to take drastic measures. My AH got in another car accident that he doesn't remember having, and that wasn't the only problem that week. As so...

stillkickin · stillkickin

The surgery went well, they only had to do a triple bypass. Docs said blood flow and etc was looking good, no complications. After surgery there wasn't much swelling and he had good skin tone. Around 2 am he was breathing on his own again and was sitting up and talking. Thank you to everyone for their pray...

Christi23 · Christi23

I'm new here. My AH was sober for 7 months and recently relapsed. I am trying to not do the codependent thing, I'm trying to not do things for him. I know he knows what to do, I know he knows he needs meetings multiple times a week to stay sober, but I can't force him to go to meetings. I used to drive him to m...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Wanted to thank everyone for the responses to my last post. You are a wonderful group of loving people no doubt. My head is still in a complete fog and I can barely communicate any kind of sensible thought. Everything in my head is just going round in circles and I can't settle it down for any of it to make...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I attended a fancy business/civic lunch yesterday- our organization bought a "table" at it and I was invited to be there as a rep. It was super "high school-ish"(women being catty and not talking to certain people, pecking order, dirty looks, ad nauseum as sometimes groups of...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp after being turned down by (3) Lawyers, I desided I was sick of it... Sooo I got a wild hair, and desided to go out on my own... I mean really.. What ever happened to picking up a phone or showing up on someones door step and saying "OK... This is what Is going on... How do ya want to work it out?"...

gardenfairy · gardenfairy

Hello, I am Pam (f2f) a/k/a gardenfairy! Just as I didn't know exactly what to not do at my first few meetings...I have gone and done a not to do again by stepping too fast before I read all the materials! This post is to replace the post I accidently replied to on a sticky post. I hereby give the moderato...

silver brumby · silver brumby

Gee, this is getting deeper the further I go into recovery. Initially it was easy but now the mirror has turned on me. It's scary as I am alone now and dealing with myself. I want to contact my AH and get inside his head. With out him to react to and hassle all the time I am having to deal with myself. I have to f...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Hi my MIP family...just wanted to let you all know im still lurking everyday and gaining insight and ESH.....I just wanted to share what my HP has done for me. A few weeks ago a new job was actually thrown in my lap, after praying for one. Little did I know that this was truely a blessing financially but a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Well my husband has told me that he does NOT want to go to rehab (been there, done that). He doesn't believe in it. He knows that his drinking got out of control, but that's only because he has been stressed out. He thinks that as long as he can control his drinking, he will still be able to drink. I didn't...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Hi again. My AH is going to an alcoholic counsler today. But I pushed the issue. I said I have to leave or you get some help. He missed his first appointment 2 weeks ago. He is pissed off coz He has to take a breathalizor test before he goes in. I just don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want to feel the pain...

blender_girl · blender_girl

At the suggestion of my sponsor, I am revisiting Step 1 and making a list of things I am powerless over. Feel free to add to this list or comment as you see fit - hopefully someone besides me will get something out of this. At a high level, my powerlessness can be summed up to encompass a few rather large are...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I found my husband passed out in the garage this morning (where he hides his alcohol). I didn't know what to do, so I called his brother (who lives an hour away). His brother came over after work and has sort of taken over things. My husband is completely out-of-it right now. His brother says that w...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've been searching for words to decribe how I feel and read a post here that just summed it all up.....emotionally hungover. Since the last contact with EXABF I have been everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Upside down and inside out, dancing the dance just one more time. I can't maintai...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

I foolishly engaged in a chatty little email exchange with my main qualifier. I haven't seen him since before Christmas, and we've hardly talked or emailed. My life is good. I'm pretty happy, though I still miss him immensely. What could be the harm in talking about the weather and Easter plans? Nothi...

barisax · barisax

I thought I'd start a new thread on this topic, although it was seeded by this comment from Joelle in the "Hard Sell" thread: I have always felt the way you do. Alanon seems to me to be a last resort. When you can no longer deal with the crap of the A in your life you turn to Alanon for supp...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

April 19, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Approval of March Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...

chezza · chezza

I came across this today and would like to share it with you guys. It reminded me again to give myself a break and use the slogan easy does it each time I try to fire ahead looking for change overnight. The patterns I follow I have been following for a long time which means it is like starting from birth agai...

BrianS · BrianS

I am trying to register with the step board but it won't let me. It is saying that my email is allready in use. This is true because I am registered here. So now what do I do? Can any one help?

QOD · QOD

I have been divorced from my ex-ah for a year. We started dating again 6 months ago. I initiated that one. Things are going pretty good for us for the most part. However, I know that I could NEVER live w/him again. There are too many things about him that drive me crazy. The perfect situation for me is...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), Today is a bittersweet day for me. It's my anniversary. I miss my beloved Tim very much. I have many happy memories to comfort me. I was blessed to call him my best friend, my lover and my husband. I remember last April 1. It fell on a Sunday and of course it being the first day of trout...

Diva · Diva

I am one whose A is emotionally unavailable. By that I mean that he will not discuss my needs, wants, dreams, hopes, fears...nothing! He is the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand. He changes the subject abruptly if I want to have a serious discussion. Well, I am no idiot. I have long since...

chezza · chezza

I am feeling a power I have never felt before in my life which I believe is my higher power. The reason being that I found an email in my box today requesting me to delete my ex b/f from contact list due to an email being sent his way. I quickly and simply emailed him back apologising for the email being sent a...

grateful · grateful

I was wondering if others go through this......I have been with alanon for many years, I have divorced my a, (final this month). My life has improved in so many ways, financially, have received many promotions at work....I think maybe because I was working on myself. Have met a wonderful man, who trea...

stillkickin · stillkickin

For those who I haven't talked to in the last couple days, we had to take my dad to the hospital on Thursday. He was having pain in the chest and shortness of breath. It turns out that he was having a heart attack. They are going to be doing a quadruple bypass tomorrow morning. Thankfully the attack did not c...

Girl Dandy · Girl Dandy

I don't know where to start. I just need to vent. I kicked my drug addicted boyfriend of 8 years out of our home a little over a month ago. During the last 8 years together, I saw his addiction go from miserable to worse back to miserable, before it finally evened out for two to three years due to methadone m...

spirit · spirit

I cannot stop crying again. I have now started to see a therapist again. My A blames me . I have expressed how depressed I am. Its my fault. My A drinks more tonight and argues with me that my attitude is bad. I am accused of seeing someone else. I answer, how could I with NO FRIENDS My A drinks and smokes more t...

chezza · chezza

Hi everyone I've been with al-anon for six months now and split from my AB (in recovery) four months ago. I have posted on here on this same issue before I have when in relationship and breaking away. Sometime it feels that am the only person that find this so difficult to detach from. We had continued t...

CarlosNA · CarlosNA

My wife is a recovering addict who has been clean for 9 months. Six of those were during voluntary in custody program inside of a jail. The past 3 months she has been living with me and going to a program 3 days a week and an after care class once a week. She has also been going to NA meetings every day for the pa...

blender_girl · blender_girl

For those of you who may not be familiar with my story, I'm currently living with an active AH. He's been drinking consistently for over 20 years and has gotten to the point where his non-drinking days may be 1 out of 10 at best. We have been married for nearly 25 years, have 3 kids - 8, 18 and 20. The ol...

Jozie · Jozie

New Day I suppose... Feeling a Touch stronger but still wore out... I just can't seem to muster the strength I long to have at this moment... I would love nothing more then to just get out of dodge... However, holiday's around here are like excuses to go crazy... If it isn't the anxioty of the company, its...

Tracy · Tracy

I read something today that said would I treat my best friend the way I treat my self. I am so hard on myself always beating myself up. From today I decide to forgive me for mistakes I am only human. I have done the best I can with what I knew at the time. From to day I intend to be a little gentler with me. Al a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I did something I know is not a very Al-Anon thing to do. I counted the beers in the fridge this morning. I asked my husband not to drink for the next 2 days so I could count on him for helping me with all our travel stuff (we were supposed to leave for Hawaii tomorrow). When I asked him to do this his respons...

farmgirlmay · farmgirlmay

My AH moved out 3 weeks ago asking for a seperation but everything leading up to that and several things since had indicated not only to me but to others that there was a female involved. Yesterday he admitted that there was a female he was attracted to or interested in and had been on a "date"...

Aquastrm · Aquastrm

Ok as i am sure many stories begin with this. I am angry and frustrated with AH disease. I am ready to kick him to the curb i am tired of trying to "fix" somthing i cant. He went to the gray bar hotel at the fist of the month to "detox" (this is for his 2nd dui in 10yrs) and get a start on bei...

Holly09 · Holly09

Yesterday my A boyfriend was drinking (usual for Sunday) things were have been fine lately because I just ignore him and go about my business when he is drinking. Things were fine yesterday too he was cooking steak tips on the grill and had said they were done but did not return back in with them so becau...

debilyn · debilyn

I have not had internet hook up as dec. rent was not paid by my tenants who left...then after they left had a huge $980 septic bill, new pump and pumped it out. Just had moved back into my main house. Was tough but our creator kept us alive! will be back soon, thank you for all the pms!! I miss you all more than I...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family Just gotta share a spiritual event I got to be a part of that I had not before. Attended my home group this morning as usual...just off the ocean which was kinda calm. Weather was dry after months of rain. Snow still on top of Mauna Kea telling us it will still be kinda cold Big Island style....

barisax · barisax

Before I go too far, I know Alanon is a program of attraction rather than promotion. But I had to come up with something for a subject line. AA is very often a life or death choice for an alcoholic. It could be court ordered, or meetings are part of a rehab program of some sort. But for someone who has reac...

CarlosNA · CarlosNA

Is this the best place to ask? How can I get an online sponsor or do I have to go to a f2f to get one? How can I get some details on how to detach? Are there other options to improving my relationship with an addict besides detaching or leaving? Let me give some background. I am married to an addict who has been...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Yesterday I could not get EXABF and the entire situation out of my head, and wondering how things go to the point they are with two people who love one another so much. In the beginning I was self confident, secure, independant and exABF was attracted to all of those qualities in me. Then after we broke...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Still holding on......digging in with both feet. (Preview) Wasn't planning on going to my F2F meeting last night. Really didn't feel I had anything to offer anyone anywhere and had no intention of going in there and raining on everyone's parade with my "I don't know if I want to be a part of this program anymore or not" attitude. Well my sis in law had...	shellyj123	5	643	Apr 12, 2009 by maire rua
	Resisting the urge to fix everything for him.... (Preview) My A picked up again last Friday night. He got paid for a half month and today the money is gone. After being sober since mid-December, he's once again in the grips. It seems like he does this dance twice a year, minimum - spring and fall. And I'm resisting the urge to help him. He's got an arrest warra...	lmw	7	628	Apr 12, 2009 by abbyal
	I did something new! (Preview) And I was OK!!! So, I am new to Al-anon, I have posted once here and have been to 4 meetings. I went to a meeting on Wednesday and they were reading about slogans. On the drive home, I started thinking about why One Day at a Time is hard for me. I realized that from the time I was very small I was taught by my pare...	hort7	7	574	Apr 12, 2009 by hort7
	conflict & letting it go (Preview) My b/f & I had a misunderstanding last night. I'm not really sure what happened, we tried to talk about it - we were both confused. He made a comment which I perceived very negatively - at any rate, I got up walked in the other room & burst into tears. I was trying to logically understand why I was c...	kitty	6	598	Apr 12, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Husband in Detox (Preview) Six of my husband's friends flew in from out of town to confront him about his drinking this morning. It only took a few minutes, but they managed to do what we haven't the past 3 days - and that was to get himself into rehab. So I helped check him in and it was quite a long process - the whole thing took about 2...	N8SMOM	5	423	Apr 12, 2009 by Karilynn
	Non Phone calls alert (Preview) My AH as you probably know, left me In January, left his business, his children who didnt live with us, but whom we saw every other weekend, and his whole life and went to the west indies, a geographical cure is what i believe its called, getting away from the problem. He told me he didnt love me as a husband...	Lilly Burn	3	860	Apr 12, 2009 by Karilynn
	The show has started - non phone calls were prelude to nasty messages (Preview) Horrible voice message on my landline last night from my AH who left me in January, I ended up all night and I have to go to work this morning. It went along the lines of "you will have to talk to me sometime" (will I?) I assume its you been telling my ex (mother of his daughter) that Ive got lots of m...	Lilly Burn	7	623	Apr 11, 2009 by Jerry F
	So how do you relieve stress of dealing with your A? (Preview) When I 1st came clean (maybe only a few months ago) to my oldest friends about my AH, I was in a crisis. After a few hrs on the phone (they're long distance), they convinced me to find activities to take care of myself' 'What makes you happy/peaceful/relaxed? What can you do to take care of you?' For me it wa...	deserve_more	8	634	Apr 11, 2009 by Sis63
	Been a Long Time (Preview) I can't remember the last time I posted....My AH has been in a controlled drinking state for so long I had forgotten what it was like to sit and wait for the other shoe to drop...the last 3 weeks or so has been a reminder to me.....today I had to look up the 3 C's....didn't cause it, can't control it, and can'...	marmare	4	527	Apr 11, 2009 by bcanuck
	Which situation is harder to deal with; spouce or children (Preview) I have been reading and posting on this board for several weeks. So many have such horrible situations to deal with on a daily basis. Some of you have alcholic husband/or wife. Some have son or daughter that has the problem. Married to them, you have an oath you took before God, for better or worse,...	clara	11	631	Apr 11, 2009 by Dale
	Happy Passover and Happy Easter (Preview) ((((Family))), I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a Happy Passover and Blessed Easter Season. Passover starts tonight at sundown. Easter is only a few days away. After all that has happened to my town in the past week I am reminded how short life is. I have gone to a few public memorial servi...	Karilynn	4	609	Apr 10, 2009 by cookie1971
	PRAYERS AND ESH NEEDED ASAP (Preview) Hey all, well as my last post states i have been living life for me. Not much contact with ABF and things were peacful. Toay i got a call telling me he relapsed, was seen drinking and passed out. I made a stand and kept my boundaries as i did not rush over.....I did make a few calls and found he has not been s...	inhisarms	5	703	Apr 10, 2009 by inhisarms
	Keeping it Simple (Preview) Okay, so my A is going on two weeks sober. I need help keeping it simple. This is the thing: he has been gone from home 1/2 of the year for the last 10 years due to work. The time he is home he is under the influence of something 1/2 of the year. He has been home since November of 08 because he got hurt. And n...	Sincerely	2	591	Apr 10, 2009 by abbyal
	I Will Not Talk.......... (Preview) to anyone ever again that doesn't understand what it is like to have an addicted family member, in my case it's my firstborn son. I had a friend that I thought I could confide in, someone that cared about me. We have been friends for years, we became close when my son was a senior in high school and he was r...	DreamsOver	11	720	Apr 10, 2009 by kitty
	I love being home alone... (Preview) I truly do enjoy being home alone free to do anything my heart desires. Listen to "MY" music, watch my t.v. shows, mess around online, anything at all. Let my hair down so to speak. But as I was just looking around the kitchen to clean here and there, what do I find? A half gallon of Jack Daniels....	wildthang86	7	663	Apr 10, 2009 by wildthang86
	ESH ESH ESH ESH ESH ESH ESH & ESH Please.... (Preview) WOW... I can honestly say that I have not been this "strungout" in as long as I can remember, I can not focus on any one things for my mind will not let go of currant surroundings, today I went to town to just "Walk around" in Circles more or less because I didn't really need anything b...	Jozie	9	680	Apr 10, 2009 by Jozie
	Snapped......I finally just snapped-HELP!! In need of ESH badly... (Preview) Well yesterday am woke up to an email from EXABF, whom I have not heard from in a week since he needed another "break" to "figure things out". It basically said that he really wasn't planning on doing any emailing this weekend but didn't want me to think he was ignoring me eithe...	shellyj123	6	525	Apr 10, 2009 by grateful
	Dealing with reality - a huge mess! (Preview) I believe I stayed with the ex A because I did not want to deal with the wreckage of our relationship. When I met him I was on the up, good job, looked great, popular and had many choices. My credit was good. Now I don't look great (need to lose 40 lbs) my credit is wrecked need 5 years to clean it up, the econom...	maresie	2	685	Apr 10, 2009 by lavaboy
	attachment theory and how it relates to my going too fast in relationships (Preview) Basically to really cut it short, children attache themselves to their parents by having a safe haven and an environment that is responsive to them. I grew up with neither. Violence and neglect were the common denominators of my childhood. So in doing a 4th step with my sponsor I'm beginning to see tha...	maresie	6	568	Apr 9, 2009 by drucilla06
	Still here and lurking (Preview) I want to thank everyone who responded to my initial post from 10 days ago. I'm sorry to say that since then things have spiralled our of control and I was forced to take drastic measures. My AH got in another car accident that he doesn't remember having, and that wasn't the only problem that week. As so...	Tired Mom	4	614	Apr 9, 2009 by clara
	An update on my Dad... (Preview) The surgery went well, they only had to do a triple bypass. Docs said blood flow and etc was looking good, no complications. After surgery there wasn't much swelling and he had good skin tone. Around 2 am he was breathing on his own again and was sitting up and talking. Thank you to everyone for their pray...	stillkickin	9	532	Apr 9, 2009 by Peggy7
	New here - AH relapsed recently - worried (Preview) I'm new here. My AH was sober for 7 months and recently relapsed. I am trying to not do the codependent thing, I'm trying to not do things for him. I know he knows what to do, I know he knows he needs meetings multiple times a week to stay sober, but I can't force him to go to meetings. I used to drive him to m...	Christi23	7	695	Apr 9, 2009 by CJ
	Still here but no so much really~ (Preview) Wanted to thank everyone for the responses to my last post. You are a wonderful group of loving people no doubt. My head is still in a complete fog and I can barely communicate any kind of sensible thought. Everything in my head is just going round in circles and I can't settle it down for any of it to make...	shellyj123	7	590	Apr 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	taking a different approach (Preview) I attended a fancy business/civic lunch yesterday- our organization bought a "table" at it and I was invited to be there as a rep. It was super "high school-ish"(women being catty and not talking to certain people, pecking order, dirty looks, ad nauseum as sometimes groups of...	Jean4444	8	696	Apr 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	And so the ball continues to roll Up Hill.... (Preview) Welp after being turned down by (3) Lawyers, I desided I was sick of it... Sooo I got a wild hair, and desided to go out on my own... I mean really.. What ever happened to picking up a phone or showing up on someones door step and saying "OK... This is what Is going on... How do ya want to work it out?"...	Jozie	3	504	Apr 9, 2009 by blender_girl
	Letting Go and Letting God - I found myself stepping into divine intervention (Preview) Hello, I am Pam (f2f) a/k/a gardenfairy! Just as I didn't know exactly what to not do at my first few meetings...I have gone and done a not to do again by stepping too fast before I read all the materials! This post is to replace the post I accidently replied to on a sticky post. I hereby give the moderato...	gardenfairy	7	714	Apr 9, 2009 by gardenfairy
	Addicted to alcoholic (Preview) Gee, this is getting deeper the further I go into recovery. Initially it was easy but now the mirror has turned on me. It's scary as I am alone now and dealing with myself. I want to contact my AH and get inside his head. With out him to react to and hassle all the time I am having to deal with myself. I have to f...	silver brumby	8	655	Apr 9, 2009 by maresie
	Keeping busy (Preview) Hi my MIP family...just wanted to let you all know im still lurking everyday and gaining insight and ESH.....I just wanted to share what my HP has done for me. A few weeks ago a new job was actually thrown in my lap, after praying for one. Little did I know that this was truely a blessing financially but a...	inhisarms	4	1037	Apr 9, 2009 by Jean4444
	Update (Preview) Well my husband has told me that he does NOT want to go to rehab (been there, done that). He doesn't believe in it. He knows that his drinking got out of control, but that's only because he has been stressed out. He thinks that as long as he can control his drinking, he will still be able to drink. I didn't...	N8SMOM	4	563	Apr 9, 2009 by clara
	Out Patient Recovery (Preview) Hi again. My AH is going to an alcoholic counsler today. But I pushed the issue. I said I have to leave or you get some help. He missed his first appointment 2 weeks ago. He is pissed off coz He has to take a breathalizor test before he goes in. I just don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want to feel the pain...	peacewithin	5	537	Apr 8, 2009 by Sincerely
	Things I am powerless over (Preview) At the suggestion of my sponsor, I am revisiting Step 1 and making a list of things I am powerless over. Feel free to add to this list or comment as you see fit - hopefully someone besides me will get something out of this. At a high level, my powerlessness can be summed up to encompass a few rather large are...	blender_girl	4	19642	Apr 8, 2009 by wildthang86
	Husband's Drinking is out of Control (Preview) I found my husband passed out in the garage this morning (where he hides his alcohol). I didn't know what to do, so I called his brother (who lives an hour away). His brother came over after work and has sort of taken over things. My husband is completely out-of-it right now. His brother says that w...	N8SMOM	5	1434	Apr 8, 2009 by wildthang86
	Emotional Hangovers and Apologies (Preview) I've been searching for words to decribe how I feel and read a post here that just summed it all up.....emotionally hungover. Since the last contact with EXABF I have been everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Upside down and inside out, dancing the dance just one more time. I can't maintai...	shellyj123	7	672	Apr 8, 2009 by gardenfairy
	Not detached after all, turns out (Preview) I foolishly engaged in a chatty little email exchange with my main qualifier. I haven't seen him since before Christmas, and we've hardly talked or emailed. My life is good. I'm pretty happy, though I still miss him immensely. What could be the harm in talking about the weather and Easter plans? Nothi...	gngcrzy	10	502	Apr 8, 2009 by gngcrzy
	The Difference Between Alanon and Therapy (Preview) I thought I'd start a new thread on this topic, although it was seeded by this comment from Joelle in the "Hard Sell" thread: I have always felt the way you do. Alanon seems to me to be a last resort. When you can no longer deal with the crap of the A in your life you turn to Alanon for supp...	barisax	7	1161	Apr 8, 2009 by Jerry F
	April Business Meeting Agenda (Preview) April 19, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Approval of March Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...	Mandy123	0	371	Apr 8, 2009 by Mandy123
	On learning to do better (Preview) I came across this today and would like to share it with you guys. It reminded me again to give myself a break and use the slogan easy does it each time I try to fire ahead looking for change overnight. The patterns I follow I have been following for a long time which means it is like starting from birth agai...	chezza	5	690	Apr 8, 2009 by blender_girl
	Step board (Preview) I am trying to register with the step board but it won't let me. It is saying that my email is allready in use. This is true because I am registered here. So now what do I do? Can any one help?	BrianS	1	446	Apr 8, 2009 by Jozie
	My Ex-AH - the ups and downs (Preview) I have been divorced from my ex-ah for a year. We started dating again 6 months ago. I initiated that one. Things are going pretty good for us for the most part. However, I know that I could NEVER live w/him again. There are too many things about him that drive me crazy. The perfect situation for me is...	QOD	4	385	Apr 8, 2009 by QOD
	A bittersweet day. (Preview) ((((Family))), Today is a bittersweet day for me. It's my anniversary. I miss my beloved Tim very much. I have many happy memories to comfort me. I was blessed to call him my best friend, my lover and my husband. I remember last April 1. It fell on a Sunday and of course it being the first day of trout...	Karilynn	17	892	Apr 8, 2009 by WendytheVegan
	SOmetimes I detect convoluted thinking. (Preview) I am one whose A is emotionally unavailable. By that I mean that he will not discuss my needs, wants, dreams, hopes, fears...nothing! He is the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand. He changes the subject abruptly if I want to have a serious discussion. Well, I am no idiot. I have long since...	Diva	12	818	Apr 8, 2009 by Karilynn
	Finding a higher power greater than myself (Preview) I am feeling a power I have never felt before in my life which I believe is my higher power. The reason being that I found an email in my box today requesting me to delete my ex b/f from contact list due to an email being sent his way. I quickly and simply emailed him back apologising for the email being sent a...	chezza	3	543	Apr 7, 2009 by Jozie
	Still affected years later? (Preview) I was wondering if others go through this......I have been with alanon for many years, I have divorced my a, (final this month). My life has improved in so many ways, financially, have received many promotions at work....I think maybe because I was working on myself. Have met a wonderful man, who trea...	grateful	5	475	Apr 7, 2009 by Jean4444
	Need Prayers...Dad is in Hospital (Preview) For those who I haven't talked to in the last couple days, we had to take my dad to the hospital on Thursday. He was having pain in the chest and shortness of breath. It turns out that he was having a heart attack. They are going to be doing a quadruple bypass tomorrow morning. Thankfully the attack did not c...	stillkickin	12	633	Apr 7, 2009 by wp
	I don't know where to start (Preview) I don't know where to start. I just need to vent. I kicked my drug addicted boyfriend of 8 years out of our home a little over a month ago. During the last 8 years together, I saw his addiction go from miserable to worse back to miserable, before it finally evened out for two to three years due to methadone m...	Girl Dandy	5	564	Apr 7, 2009 by Girl Dandy
	Just realized something (Preview) I cannot stop crying again. I have now started to see a therapist again. My A blames me . I have expressed how depressed I am. Its my fault. My A drinks more tonight and argues with me that my attitude is bad. I am accused of seeing someone else. I answer, how could I with NO FRIENDS My A drinks and smokes more t...	spirit	17	532	Apr 7, 2009 by spirit
	detachment issues (Preview) Hi everyone I've been with al-anon for six months now and split from my AB (in recovery) four months ago. I have posted on here on this same issue before I have when in relationship and breaking away. Sometime it feels that am the only person that find this so difficult to detach from. We had continued t...	chezza	6	723	Apr 7, 2009 by chezza
	Question about how much to help (Preview) My wife is a recovering addict who has been clean for 9 months. Six of those were during voluntary in custody program inside of a jail. The past 3 months she has been living with me and going to a program 3 days a week and an after care class once a week. She has also been going to NA meetings every day for the pa...	CarlosNA	9	563	Apr 7, 2009 by QOD
	Pros/Cons vs Expectations/Fears (Preview) For those of you who may not be familiar with my story, I'm currently living with an active AH. He's been drinking consistently for over 20 years and has gotten to the point where his non-drinking days may be 1 out of 10 at best. We have been married for nearly 25 years, have 3 kids - 8, 18 and 20. The ol...	blender_girl	5	4074	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Just for Today... Get'n Out of My Rockin Chair... (Preview) New Day I suppose... Feeling a Touch stronger but still wore out... I just can't seem to muster the strength I long to have at this moment... I would love nothing more then to just get out of dodge... However, holiday's around here are like excuses to go crazy... If it isn't the anxioty of the company, its...	Jozie	1	485	Apr 7, 2009 by blender_girl
	forgiveness (Preview) I read something today that said would I treat my best friend the way I treat my self. I am so hard on myself always beating myself up. From today I decide to forgive me for mistakes I am only human. I have done the best I can with what I knew at the time. From to day I intend to be a little gentler with me. Al a...	Tracy	6	657	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Confession (Preview) I did something I know is not a very Al-Anon thing to do. I counted the beers in the fridge this morning. I asked my husband not to drink for the next 2 days so I could count on him for helping me with all our travel stuff (we were supposed to leave for Hawaii tomorrow). When I asked him to do this his respons...	N8SMOM	6	561	Apr 7, 2009 by kitty
	Question regarding anonymity, contact between males & females in AA (Preview) My AH moved out 3 weeks ago asking for a seperation but everything leading up to that and several things since had indicated not only to me but to others that there was a female involved. Yesterday he admitted that there was a female he was attracted to or interested in and had been on a "date"...	farmgirlmay	3	448	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Need help (Preview) Ok as i am sure many stories begin with this. I am angry and frustrated with AH disease. I am ready to kick him to the curb i am tired of trying to "fix" somthing i cant. He went to the gray bar hotel at the fist of the month to "detox" (this is for his 2nd dui in 10yrs) and get a start on bei...	Aquastrm	8	784	Apr 7, 2009 by Shell44
	Upset with myself (Preview) Yesterday my A boyfriend was drinking (usual for Sunday) things were have been fine lately because I just ignore him and go about my business when he is drinking. Things were fine yesterday too he was cooking steak tips on the grill and had said they were done but did not return back in with them so becau...	Holly09	4	472	Apr 7, 2009 by Holly09
	Hello sis and bros (o: (Preview) I have not had internet hook up as dec. rent was not paid by my tenants who left...then after they left had a huge $980 septic bill, new pump and pumped it out. Just had moved back into my main house. Was tough but our creator kept us alive! will be back soon, thank you for all the pms!! I miss you all more than I...	debilyn	6	638	Apr 6, 2009 by Maria123
	Early morning spiritual event... (Preview) Aloha Family Just gotta share a spiritual event I got to be a part of that I had not before. Attended my home group this morning as usual...just off the ocean which was kinda calm. Weather was dry after months of rain. Snow still on top of Mauna Kea telling us it will still be kinda cold Big Island style....	Jerry F	6	627	Apr 6, 2009 by Maria123
	Alanon a Hard Sell? (Preview) Before I go too far, I know Alanon is a program of attraction rather than promotion. But I had to come up with something for a subject line. AA is very often a life or death choice for an alcoholic. It could be court ordered, or meetings are part of a rehab program of some sort. But for someone who has reac...	barisax	17	1194	Apr 6, 2009 by joelle
	Newcomer questions (Preview) Is this the best place to ask? How can I get an online sponsor or do I have to go to a f2f to get one? How can I get some details on how to detach? Are there other options to improving my relationship with an addict besides detaching or leaving? Let me give some background. I am married to an addict who has been...	CarlosNA	8	587	Apr 6, 2009 by luvinmom
	I've never felt lower or more alone...My epihany-(sorry this is so long)...... (Preview) Yesterday I could not get EXABF and the entire situation out of my head, and wondering how things go to the point they are with two people who love one another so much. In the beginning I was self confident, secure, independant and exABF was attracted to all of those qualities in me. Then after we broke...	shellyj123	6	902	Apr 6, 2009 by luvinmom
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.