Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tired Mom · Tired Mom

I want to thank everyone who responded to my initial post from 10 days ago. I'm sorry to say that since then things have spiralled our of control and I was forced to take drastic measures. My AH got in another car accident that he doesn't remember having, and that wasn't the only problem that week. As so...

stillkickin · stillkickin

The surgery went well, they only had to do a triple bypass. Docs said blood flow and etc was looking good, no complications. After surgery there wasn't much swelling and he had good skin tone. Around 2 am he was breathing on his own again and was sitting up and talking. Thank you to everyone for their pray...

Christi23 · Christi23

I'm new here. My AH was sober for 7 months and recently relapsed. I am trying to not do the codependent thing, I'm trying to not do things for him. I know he knows what to do, I know he knows he needs meetings multiple times a week to stay sober, but I can't force him to go to meetings. I used to drive him to m...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Wanted to thank everyone for the responses to my last post. You are a wonderful group of loving people no doubt. My head is still in a complete fog and I can barely communicate any kind of sensible thought. Everything in my head is just going round in circles and I can't settle it down for any of it to make...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I attended a fancy business/civic lunch yesterday- our organization bought a "table" at it and I was invited to be there as a rep. It was super "high school-ish"(women being catty and not talking to certain people, pecking order, dirty looks, ad nauseum as sometimes groups of...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp after being turned down by (3) Lawyers, I desided I was sick of it... Sooo I got a wild hair, and desided to go out on my own... I mean really.. What ever happened to picking up a phone or showing up on someones door step and saying "OK... This is what Is going on... How do ya want to work it out?"...

gardenfairy · gardenfairy

Hello, I am Pam (f2f) a/k/a gardenfairy! Just as I didn't know exactly what to not do at my first few meetings...I have gone and done a not to do again by stepping too fast before I read all the materials! This post is to replace the post I accidently replied to on a sticky post. I hereby give the moderato...

silver brumby · silver brumby

Gee, this is getting deeper the further I go into recovery. Initially it was easy but now the mirror has turned on me. It's scary as I am alone now and dealing with myself. I want to contact my AH and get inside his head. With out him to react to and hassle all the time I am having to deal with myself. I have to f...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Hi my MIP family...just wanted to let you all know im still lurking everyday and gaining insight and ESH.....I just wanted to share what my HP has done for me. A few weeks ago a new job was actually thrown in my lap, after praying for one. Little did I know that this was truely a blessing financially but a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Well my husband has told me that he does NOT want to go to rehab (been there, done that). He doesn't believe in it. He knows that his drinking got out of control, but that's only because he has been stressed out. He thinks that as long as he can control his drinking, he will still be able to drink. I didn't...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Hi again. My AH is going to an alcoholic counsler today. But I pushed the issue. I said I have to leave or you get some help. He missed his first appointment 2 weeks ago. He is pissed off coz He has to take a breathalizor test before he goes in. I just don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want to feel the pain...

blender_girl · blender_girl

At the suggestion of my sponsor, I am revisiting Step 1 and making a list of things I am powerless over. Feel free to add to this list or comment as you see fit - hopefully someone besides me will get something out of this. At a high level, my powerlessness can be summed up to encompass a few rather large are...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I found my husband passed out in the garage this morning (where he hides his alcohol). I didn't know what to do, so I called his brother (who lives an hour away). His brother came over after work and has sort of taken over things. My husband is completely out-of-it right now. His brother says that w...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've been searching for words to decribe how I feel and read a post here that just summed it all up.....emotionally hungover. Since the last contact with EXABF I have been everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Upside down and inside out, dancing the dance just one more time. I can't maintai...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

I foolishly engaged in a chatty little email exchange with my main qualifier. I haven't seen him since before Christmas, and we've hardly talked or emailed. My life is good. I'm pretty happy, though I still miss him immensely. What could be the harm in talking about the weather and Easter plans? Nothi...

barisax · barisax

I thought I'd start a new thread on this topic, although it was seeded by this comment from Joelle in the "Hard Sell" thread: I have always felt the way you do. Alanon seems to me to be a last resort. When you can no longer deal with the crap of the A in your life you turn to Alanon for supp...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

April 19, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Approval of March Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...

chezza · chezza

I came across this today and would like to share it with you guys. It reminded me again to give myself a break and use the slogan easy does it each time I try to fire ahead looking for change overnight. The patterns I follow I have been following for a long time which means it is like starting from birth agai...

BrianS · BrianS

I am trying to register with the step board but it won't let me. It is saying that my email is allready in use. This is true because I am registered here. So now what do I do? Can any one help?

QOD · QOD

I have been divorced from my ex-ah for a year. We started dating again 6 months ago. I initiated that one. Things are going pretty good for us for the most part. However, I know that I could NEVER live w/him again. There are too many things about him that drive me crazy. The perfect situation for me is...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), Today is a bittersweet day for me. It's my anniversary. I miss my beloved Tim very much. I have many happy memories to comfort me. I was blessed to call him my best friend, my lover and my husband. I remember last April 1. It fell on a Sunday and of course it being the first day of trout...

Diva · Diva

I am one whose A is emotionally unavailable. By that I mean that he will not discuss my needs, wants, dreams, hopes, fears...nothing! He is the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand. He changes the subject abruptly if I want to have a serious discussion. Well, I am no idiot. I have long since...

chezza · chezza

I am feeling a power I have never felt before in my life which I believe is my higher power. The reason being that I found an email in my box today requesting me to delete my ex b/f from contact list due to an email being sent his way. I quickly and simply emailed him back apologising for the email being sent a...

grateful · grateful

I was wondering if others go through this......I have been with alanon for many years, I have divorced my a, (final this month). My life has improved in so many ways, financially, have received many promotions at work....I think maybe because I was working on myself. Have met a wonderful man, who trea...

stillkickin · stillkickin

For those who I haven't talked to in the last couple days, we had to take my dad to the hospital on Thursday. He was having pain in the chest and shortness of breath. It turns out that he was having a heart attack. They are going to be doing a quadruple bypass tomorrow morning. Thankfully the attack did not c...

Girl Dandy · Girl Dandy

I don't know where to start. I just need to vent. I kicked my drug addicted boyfriend of 8 years out of our home a little over a month ago. During the last 8 years together, I saw his addiction go from miserable to worse back to miserable, before it finally evened out for two to three years due to methadone m...

spirit · spirit

I cannot stop crying again. I have now started to see a therapist again. My A blames me . I have expressed how depressed I am. Its my fault. My A drinks more tonight and argues with me that my attitude is bad. I am accused of seeing someone else. I answer, how could I with NO FRIENDS My A drinks and smokes more t...

chezza · chezza

Hi everyone I've been with al-anon for six months now and split from my AB (in recovery) four months ago. I have posted on here on this same issue before I have when in relationship and breaking away. Sometime it feels that am the only person that find this so difficult to detach from. We had continued t...

CarlosNA · CarlosNA

My wife is a recovering addict who has been clean for 9 months. Six of those were during voluntary in custody program inside of a jail. The past 3 months she has been living with me and going to a program 3 days a week and an after care class once a week. She has also been going to NA meetings every day for the pa...

blender_girl · blender_girl

For those of you who may not be familiar with my story, I'm currently living with an active AH. He's been drinking consistently for over 20 years and has gotten to the point where his non-drinking days may be 1 out of 10 at best. We have been married for nearly 25 years, have 3 kids - 8, 18 and 20. The ol...

Jozie · Jozie

New Day I suppose... Feeling a Touch stronger but still wore out... I just can't seem to muster the strength I long to have at this moment... I would love nothing more then to just get out of dodge... However, holiday's around here are like excuses to go crazy... If it isn't the anxioty of the company, its...

Tracy · Tracy

I read something today that said would I treat my best friend the way I treat my self. I am so hard on myself always beating myself up. From today I decide to forgive me for mistakes I am only human. I have done the best I can with what I knew at the time. From to day I intend to be a little gentler with me. Al a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I did something I know is not a very Al-Anon thing to do. I counted the beers in the fridge this morning. I asked my husband not to drink for the next 2 days so I could count on him for helping me with all our travel stuff (we were supposed to leave for Hawaii tomorrow). When I asked him to do this his respons...

farmgirlmay · farmgirlmay

My AH moved out 3 weeks ago asking for a seperation but everything leading up to that and several things since had indicated not only to me but to others that there was a female involved. Yesterday he admitted that there was a female he was attracted to or interested in and had been on a "date"...

Aquastrm · Aquastrm

Ok as i am sure many stories begin with this. I am angry and frustrated with AH disease. I am ready to kick him to the curb i am tired of trying to "fix" somthing i cant. He went to the gray bar hotel at the fist of the month to "detox" (this is for his 2nd dui in 10yrs) and get a start on bei...

Holly09 · Holly09

Yesterday my A boyfriend was drinking (usual for Sunday) things were have been fine lately because I just ignore him and go about my business when he is drinking. Things were fine yesterday too he was cooking steak tips on the grill and had said they were done but did not return back in with them so becau...

debilyn · debilyn

I have not had internet hook up as dec. rent was not paid by my tenants who left...then after they left had a huge $980 septic bill, new pump and pumped it out. Just had moved back into my main house. Was tough but our creator kept us alive! will be back soon, thank you for all the pms!! I miss you all more than I...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family Just gotta share a spiritual event I got to be a part of that I had not before. Attended my home group this morning as usual...just off the ocean which was kinda calm. Weather was dry after months of rain. Snow still on top of Mauna Kea telling us it will still be kinda cold Big Island style....

barisax · barisax

Before I go too far, I know Alanon is a program of attraction rather than promotion. But I had to come up with something for a subject line. AA is very often a life or death choice for an alcoholic. It could be court ordered, or meetings are part of a rehab program of some sort. But for someone who has reac...

CarlosNA · CarlosNA

Is this the best place to ask? How can I get an online sponsor or do I have to go to a f2f to get one? How can I get some details on how to detach? Are there other options to improving my relationship with an addict besides detaching or leaving? Let me give some background. I am married to an addict who has been...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Yesterday I could not get EXABF and the entire situation out of my head, and wondering how things go to the point they are with two people who love one another so much. In the beginning I was self confident, secure, independant and exABF was attracted to all of those qualities in me. Then after we broke...

BrianS · BrianS

Does anyone what happen to April's business meeting? I was there for 30 minutes and only half a dozen people showed up and there was no one to chair meeting.

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've spent the day, well to be honest pretty much the week in bed (other than work). I just can not seem to get it together. I have no desire to even comb my hair today, and haven't. I had several realizations last night that have added to my over all knowledge and acceptance of things, and now I am just pl...

Sis63 · Sis63

I've been trying to research the best way to start step 4. I got a blueprint workbook at the suggestion of my sponsor. She also said that she really likes the Paths to Recovery book, which I have. I sat down and read both of the books. I don't know which is better to do. The blueprint seems to be more in depth...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

my AH has deserted me as you might know to live in the west indies for a while. He has also deserted his children (who do not live with me) but I know have been effected by this, particularly the 11 year old daughter. Her father didnt actually tell her when he was home briefly to sort things out, that he was go...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... Sooo... The soga comtinues but I have found the silver lining... Or so I hope... Today. Got up read my "dailys" got to cleaning my house, and thought I would sit down my my neice some curtains..Well I got the 1st line o stitches done, when the mail lady, comes up and needs me to sign a "...

Jozie · Jozie

OK... So if you have been keeping up or checking in on my story, it is along one, and I will try to make the explanation a short one... Afather past, i am responsible for his affairs, gave his home to my Abrother, who did not make it happen and left me with More debt then I ever dreamed of... Sooo Last post stat...

motherhen · motherhen

This is my first entry here. My husband is an alcoholic and is an off again on again kind of binge drinker. Because he goes for weeks or even months at a time without a drop, he then justifies that he is not an alcoholic, of course. He will typically say he will go to lunch and see us at home later and any time he...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It was the night from hell and I didn't think I could hurt that much again but there it was. Missed some work and felt somewhat like I lost my soul. He came over Friday night and we talked openly and honestly and worked things out for now but I'm feeling once bitten twice shy and a little hesitant to trust t...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I have posted on here the past 2 weeks about my A having an affair i guess you would call it. Well I can't deal with it anymore. I want to pack my crap and leave now. But I don't have a job have been looking for 4 months with no luck. I have 2 kids. I get 220 a month for child support for my oldest. I called a crisis ho...

spirit · spirit

Hi everyone, you are the only ones that will listen, it seems like I have been writing here when things go bad. I am sorry. Let me apoligize from my heart. i am very sorry. I didnt mean to be selfish. i am in so much pain and this is all I have. I dont have friends or family or anyone i can turn to. so very isolate...

Geez_Wiz · Geez_Wiz

Hi... I am so angry at my dad. He is 81 years old and he started drinking heavily, before we eat dinner, since he was 77 years old. He drinks around 5pm and then he lays down until dinner on the table. When dinner comes he seems sober. However, right before he sits down for dinner, he seems to be sneaking for m...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

Question for the old timers... There's a new meeting being set up. It's about 2 months old and is about 1/3 business meeting every week because of it- oi! But that's not my question- it'll work itself out. My concern is that they've made a deal with the church where it meets to pay 10% of the 7th Trad colle...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

In my home group we focussed on perfectionism. Perfectionism is such a rampant symptom of our disease. Its a great topic and one I hope to gain more ES & H on through this post. I think I am really understanding WHY perfectionism is such a toxic thing for me. For me, perfectionism is actually fea...

mia883 · mia883

Karma: Consequences of one's actions. The motives behind an action. Motivation usually makes the difference between "good" and "bad", but included in the motivation is also the aspect of ignorance; so a well-intended action from an ignorant mind can easily be "bad&q...

clara · clara

I suffer from clinical depression. I cannot blame my depression on anything or anyone. However, when things kind of pile up on me, I go down in the dumps. That is where I am today. First of all, my AD has the family in a drama situation. Even if I ignore her phone calls, I still worry(my own fault). Nev...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Do relationships exist where you can count on your spouse being emotionally available? Will my A Hubby ALWAYS be emotionally unavailable? Is it too much to ask for my a husband to put my cares, concerns, hopes, dreams, fears or even our marriages hopes and dreams somewhere on his list of things to ad...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I've been to 4 f2f meetings this past week and I always hear about working the steps. What I want to know is, how and when do you work them? For instance, 2 of the meetings this week focused on Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. One of the women at the meeting said that she...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Ever wonder about how things like "28-day" rehabs evolved? If you're like me, you'd hope that there was some "science" behind it all, and it took that amount of time for addicts to have their best chance at sobriety.... My understanding is that the 28-days was arrived at, mos...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), If you have been watching CNN today, then you know about the shooting at the American Civic Association. 12 people are dead, so is the gunmen and numerous are injured. I am stunned by this news. There were problems in the community with gangs coming in and recovery is not easy in this...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Still here and lurking (Preview) I want to thank everyone who responded to my initial post from 10 days ago. I'm sorry to say that since then things have spiralled our of control and I was forced to take drastic measures. My AH got in another car accident that he doesn't remember having, and that wasn't the only problem that week. As so...	Tired Mom	4	570	Apr 9, 2009 by clara
	An update on my Dad... (Preview) The surgery went well, they only had to do a triple bypass. Docs said blood flow and etc was looking good, no complications. After surgery there wasn't much swelling and he had good skin tone. Around 2 am he was breathing on his own again and was sitting up and talking. Thank you to everyone for their pray...	stillkickin	9	486	Apr 9, 2009 by Peggy7
	New here - AH relapsed recently - worried (Preview) I'm new here. My AH was sober for 7 months and recently relapsed. I am trying to not do the codependent thing, I'm trying to not do things for him. I know he knows what to do, I know he knows he needs meetings multiple times a week to stay sober, but I can't force him to go to meetings. I used to drive him to m...	Christi23	7	650	Apr 9, 2009 by CJ
	Still here but no so much really~ (Preview) Wanted to thank everyone for the responses to my last post. You are a wonderful group of loving people no doubt. My head is still in a complete fog and I can barely communicate any kind of sensible thought. Everything in my head is just going round in circles and I can't settle it down for any of it to make...	shellyj123	7	542	Apr 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	taking a different approach (Preview) I attended a fancy business/civic lunch yesterday- our organization bought a "table" at it and I was invited to be there as a rep. It was super "high school-ish"(women being catty and not talking to certain people, pecking order, dirty looks, ad nauseum as sometimes groups of...	Jean4444	8	654	Apr 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	And so the ball continues to roll Up Hill.... (Preview) Welp after being turned down by (3) Lawyers, I desided I was sick of it... Sooo I got a wild hair, and desided to go out on my own... I mean really.. What ever happened to picking up a phone or showing up on someones door step and saying "OK... This is what Is going on... How do ya want to work it out?"...	Jozie	3	462	Apr 9, 2009 by blender_girl
	Letting Go and Letting God - I found myself stepping into divine intervention (Preview) Hello, I am Pam (f2f) a/k/a gardenfairy! Just as I didn't know exactly what to not do at my first few meetings...I have gone and done a not to do again by stepping too fast before I read all the materials! This post is to replace the post I accidently replied to on a sticky post. I hereby give the moderato...	gardenfairy	7	672	Apr 9, 2009 by gardenfairy
	Addicted to alcoholic (Preview) Gee, this is getting deeper the further I go into recovery. Initially it was easy but now the mirror has turned on me. It's scary as I am alone now and dealing with myself. I want to contact my AH and get inside his head. With out him to react to and hassle all the time I am having to deal with myself. I have to f...	silver brumby	8	612	Apr 9, 2009 by maresie
	Keeping busy (Preview) Hi my MIP family...just wanted to let you all know im still lurking everyday and gaining insight and ESH.....I just wanted to share what my HP has done for me. A few weeks ago a new job was actually thrown in my lap, after praying for one. Little did I know that this was truely a blessing financially but a...	inhisarms	4	992	Apr 9, 2009 by Jean4444
	Update (Preview) Well my husband has told me that he does NOT want to go to rehab (been there, done that). He doesn't believe in it. He knows that his drinking got out of control, but that's only because he has been stressed out. He thinks that as long as he can control his drinking, he will still be able to drink. I didn't...	N8SMOM	4	510	Apr 9, 2009 by clara
	Out Patient Recovery (Preview) Hi again. My AH is going to an alcoholic counsler today. But I pushed the issue. I said I have to leave or you get some help. He missed his first appointment 2 weeks ago. He is pissed off coz He has to take a breathalizor test before he goes in. I just don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want to feel the pain...	peacewithin	5	496	Apr 8, 2009 by Sincerely
	Things I am powerless over (Preview) At the suggestion of my sponsor, I am revisiting Step 1 and making a list of things I am powerless over. Feel free to add to this list or comment as you see fit - hopefully someone besides me will get something out of this. At a high level, my powerlessness can be summed up to encompass a few rather large are...	blender_girl	4	19466	Apr 8, 2009 by wildthang86
	Husband's Drinking is out of Control (Preview) I found my husband passed out in the garage this morning (where he hides his alcohol). I didn't know what to do, so I called his brother (who lives an hour away). His brother came over after work and has sort of taken over things. My husband is completely out-of-it right now. His brother says that w...	N8SMOM	5	1386	Apr 8, 2009 by wildthang86
	Emotional Hangovers and Apologies (Preview) I've been searching for words to decribe how I feel and read a post here that just summed it all up.....emotionally hungover. Since the last contact with EXABF I have been everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Upside down and inside out, dancing the dance just one more time. I can't maintai...	shellyj123	7	622	Apr 8, 2009 by gardenfairy
	Not detached after all, turns out (Preview) I foolishly engaged in a chatty little email exchange with my main qualifier. I haven't seen him since before Christmas, and we've hardly talked or emailed. My life is good. I'm pretty happy, though I still miss him immensely. What could be the harm in talking about the weather and Easter plans? Nothi...	gngcrzy	10	460	Apr 8, 2009 by gngcrzy
	The Difference Between Alanon and Therapy (Preview) I thought I'd start a new thread on this topic, although it was seeded by this comment from Joelle in the "Hard Sell" thread: I have always felt the way you do. Alanon seems to me to be a last resort. When you can no longer deal with the crap of the A in your life you turn to Alanon for supp...	barisax	7	1111	Apr 8, 2009 by Jerry F
	April Business Meeting Agenda (Preview) April 19, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Approval of March Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...	Mandy123	0	326	Apr 8, 2009 by Mandy123
	On learning to do better (Preview) I came across this today and would like to share it with you guys. It reminded me again to give myself a break and use the slogan easy does it each time I try to fire ahead looking for change overnight. The patterns I follow I have been following for a long time which means it is like starting from birth agai...	chezza	5	649	Apr 8, 2009 by blender_girl
	Step board (Preview) I am trying to register with the step board but it won't let me. It is saying that my email is allready in use. This is true because I am registered here. So now what do I do? Can any one help?	BrianS	1	406	Apr 8, 2009 by Jozie
	My Ex-AH - the ups and downs (Preview) I have been divorced from my ex-ah for a year. We started dating again 6 months ago. I initiated that one. Things are going pretty good for us for the most part. However, I know that I could NEVER live w/him again. There are too many things about him that drive me crazy. The perfect situation for me is...	QOD	4	344	Apr 8, 2009 by QOD
	A bittersweet day. (Preview) ((((Family))), Today is a bittersweet day for me. It's my anniversary. I miss my beloved Tim very much. I have many happy memories to comfort me. I was blessed to call him my best friend, my lover and my husband. I remember last April 1. It fell on a Sunday and of course it being the first day of trout...	Karilynn	17	848	Apr 8, 2009 by WendytheVegan
	SOmetimes I detect convoluted thinking. (Preview) I am one whose A is emotionally unavailable. By that I mean that he will not discuss my needs, wants, dreams, hopes, fears...nothing! He is the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand. He changes the subject abruptly if I want to have a serious discussion. Well, I am no idiot. I have long since...	Diva	12	773	Apr 8, 2009 by Karilynn
	Finding a higher power greater than myself (Preview) I am feeling a power I have never felt before in my life which I believe is my higher power. The reason being that I found an email in my box today requesting me to delete my ex b/f from contact list due to an email being sent his way. I quickly and simply emailed him back apologising for the email being sent a...	chezza	3	502	Apr 7, 2009 by Jozie
	Still affected years later? (Preview) I was wondering if others go through this......I have been with alanon for many years, I have divorced my a, (final this month). My life has improved in so many ways, financially, have received many promotions at work....I think maybe because I was working on myself. Have met a wonderful man, who trea...	grateful	5	430	Apr 7, 2009 by Jean4444
	Need Prayers...Dad is in Hospital (Preview) For those who I haven't talked to in the last couple days, we had to take my dad to the hospital on Thursday. He was having pain in the chest and shortness of breath. It turns out that he was having a heart attack. They are going to be doing a quadruple bypass tomorrow morning. Thankfully the attack did not c...	stillkickin	12	590	Apr 7, 2009 by wp
	I don't know where to start (Preview) I don't know where to start. I just need to vent. I kicked my drug addicted boyfriend of 8 years out of our home a little over a month ago. During the last 8 years together, I saw his addiction go from miserable to worse back to miserable, before it finally evened out for two to three years due to methadone m...	Girl Dandy	5	522	Apr 7, 2009 by Girl Dandy
	Just realized something (Preview) I cannot stop crying again. I have now started to see a therapist again. My A blames me . I have expressed how depressed I am. Its my fault. My A drinks more tonight and argues with me that my attitude is bad. I am accused of seeing someone else. I answer, how could I with NO FRIENDS My A drinks and smokes more t...	spirit	17	491	Apr 7, 2009 by spirit
	detachment issues (Preview) Hi everyone I've been with al-anon for six months now and split from my AB (in recovery) four months ago. I have posted on here on this same issue before I have when in relationship and breaking away. Sometime it feels that am the only person that find this so difficult to detach from. We had continued t...	chezza	6	674	Apr 7, 2009 by chezza
	Question about how much to help (Preview) My wife is a recovering addict who has been clean for 9 months. Six of those were during voluntary in custody program inside of a jail. The past 3 months she has been living with me and going to a program 3 days a week and an after care class once a week. She has also been going to NA meetings every day for the pa...	CarlosNA	9	520	Apr 7, 2009 by QOD
	Pros/Cons vs Expectations/Fears (Preview) For those of you who may not be familiar with my story, I'm currently living with an active AH. He's been drinking consistently for over 20 years and has gotten to the point where his non-drinking days may be 1 out of 10 at best. We have been married for nearly 25 years, have 3 kids - 8, 18 and 20. The ol...	blender_girl	5	4030	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Just for Today... Get'n Out of My Rockin Chair... (Preview) New Day I suppose... Feeling a Touch stronger but still wore out... I just can't seem to muster the strength I long to have at this moment... I would love nothing more then to just get out of dodge... However, holiday's around here are like excuses to go crazy... If it isn't the anxioty of the company, its...	Jozie	1	440	Apr 7, 2009 by blender_girl
	forgiveness (Preview) I read something today that said would I treat my best friend the way I treat my self. I am so hard on myself always beating myself up. From today I decide to forgive me for mistakes I am only human. I have done the best I can with what I knew at the time. From to day I intend to be a little gentler with me. Al a...	Tracy	6	615	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Confession (Preview) I did something I know is not a very Al-Anon thing to do. I counted the beers in the fridge this morning. I asked my husband not to drink for the next 2 days so I could count on him for helping me with all our travel stuff (we were supposed to leave for Hawaii tomorrow). When I asked him to do this his respons...	N8SMOM	6	521	Apr 7, 2009 by kitty
	Question regarding anonymity, contact between males & females in AA (Preview) My AH moved out 3 weeks ago asking for a seperation but everything leading up to that and several things since had indicated not only to me but to others that there was a female involved. Yesterday he admitted that there was a female he was attracted to or interested in and had been on a "date"...	farmgirlmay	3	408	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Need help (Preview) Ok as i am sure many stories begin with this. I am angry and frustrated with AH disease. I am ready to kick him to the curb i am tired of trying to "fix" somthing i cant. He went to the gray bar hotel at the fist of the month to "detox" (this is for his 2nd dui in 10yrs) and get a start on bei...	Aquastrm	8	729	Apr 7, 2009 by Shell44
	Upset with myself (Preview) Yesterday my A boyfriend was drinking (usual for Sunday) things were have been fine lately because I just ignore him and go about my business when he is drinking. Things were fine yesterday too he was cooking steak tips on the grill and had said they were done but did not return back in with them so becau...	Holly09	4	430	Apr 7, 2009 by Holly09
	Hello sis and bros (o: (Preview) I have not had internet hook up as dec. rent was not paid by my tenants who left...then after they left had a huge $980 septic bill, new pump and pumped it out. Just had moved back into my main house. Was tough but our creator kept us alive! will be back soon, thank you for all the pms!! I miss you all more than I...	debilyn	6	596	Apr 6, 2009 by Maria123
	Early morning spiritual event... (Preview) Aloha Family Just gotta share a spiritual event I got to be a part of that I had not before. Attended my home group this morning as usual...just off the ocean which was kinda calm. Weather was dry after months of rain. Snow still on top of Mauna Kea telling us it will still be kinda cold Big Island style....	Jerry F	6	586	Apr 6, 2009 by Maria123
	Alanon a Hard Sell? (Preview) Before I go too far, I know Alanon is a program of attraction rather than promotion. But I had to come up with something for a subject line. AA is very often a life or death choice for an alcoholic. It could be court ordered, or meetings are part of a rehab program of some sort. But for someone who has reac...	barisax	17	1152	Apr 6, 2009 by joelle
	Newcomer questions (Preview) Is this the best place to ask? How can I get an online sponsor or do I have to go to a f2f to get one? How can I get some details on how to detach? Are there other options to improving my relationship with an addict besides detaching or leaving? Let me give some background. I am married to an addict who has been...	CarlosNA	8	543	Apr 6, 2009 by luvinmom
	I've never felt lower or more alone...My epihany-(sorry this is so long)...... (Preview) Yesterday I could not get EXABF and the entire situation out of my head, and wondering how things go to the point they are with two people who love one another so much. In the beginning I was self confident, secure, independant and exABF was attracted to all of those qualities in me. Then after we broke...	shellyj123	6	860	Apr 6, 2009 by luvinmom
	April meeting (Preview) Does anyone what happen to April's business meeting? I was there for 30 minutes and only half a dozen people showed up and there was no one to chair meeting.	BrianS	2	316	Apr 6, 2009 by BrianS
	Trying sooo hard to find my program.... (Preview) I've spent the day, well to be honest pretty much the week in bed (other than work). I just can not seem to get it together. I have no desire to even comb my hair today, and haven't. I had several realizations last night that have added to my over all knowledge and acceptance of things, and now I am just pl...	shellyj123	5	575	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	Working step 4... (Preview) I've been trying to research the best way to start step 4. I got a blueprint workbook at the suggestion of my sponsor. She also said that she really likes the Paths to Recovery book, which I have. I sat down and read both of the books. I don't know which is better to do. The blueprint seems to be more in depth...	Sis63	5	1452	Apr 6, 2009 by Sis63
	Deserted.... (Preview) my AH has deserted me as you might know to live in the west indies for a while. He has also deserted his children (who do not live with me) but I know have been effected by this, particularly the 11 year old daughter. Her father didnt actually tell her when he was home briefly to sort things out, that he was go...	Lilly Burn	3	477	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	And so it continues... (Preview) Ok... Sooo... The soga comtinues but I have found the silver lining... Or so I hope... Today. Got up read my "dailys" got to cleaning my house, and thought I would sit down my my neice some curtains..Well I got the 1st line o stitches done, when the mail lady, comes up and needs me to sign a "...	Jozie	8	548	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	NEED to Vent.... (Preview) OK... So if you have been keeping up or checking in on my story, it is along one, and I will try to make the explanation a short one... Afather past, i am responsible for his affairs, gave his home to my Abrother, who did not make it happen and left me with More debt then I ever dreamed of... Sooo Last post stat...	Jozie	6	484	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	What else can I do to help my 10 year old deal? (Preview) This is my first entry here. My husband is an alcoholic and is an off again on again kind of binge drinker. Because he goes for weeks or even months at a time without a drop, he then justifies that he is not an alcoholic, of course. He will typically say he will go to lunch and see us at home later and any time he...	motherhen	9	1331	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	He broke up with me on April Fool's Day - No joke.... (Preview) It was the night from hell and I didn't think I could hurt that much again but there it was. Missed some work and felt somewhat like I lost my soul. He came over Friday night and we talked openly and honestly and worked things out for now but I'm feeling once bitten twice shy and a little hesitant to trust t...	carolinagirl	3	542	Apr 6, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Need help leaving (Preview) I have posted on here the past 2 weeks about my A having an affair i guess you would call it. Well I can't deal with it anymore. I want to pack my crap and leave now. But I don't have a job have been looking for 4 months with no luck. I have 2 kids. I get 220 a month for child support for my oldest. I called a crisis ho...	Melissa21	8	734	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	thank you (Preview) Hi everyone, you are the only ones that will listen, it seems like I have been writing here when things go bad. I am sorry. Let me apoligize from my heart. i am very sorry. I didnt mean to be selfish. i am in so much pain and this is all I have. I dont have friends or family or anyone i can turn to. so very isolate...	spirit	4	396	Apr 6, 2009 by Jozie
	So Fed Up with Dad’s Denial (at 82 years old) (Preview) Hi... I am so angry at my dad. He is 81 years old and he started drinking heavily, before we eat dinner, since he was 77 years old. He drinks around 5pm and then he lays down until dinner on the table. When dinner comes he seems sober. However, right before he sits down for dinner, he seems to be sneaking for m...	Geez_Wiz	4	866	Apr 6, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	question about meeting being subsidized (Preview) Question for the old timers... There's a new meeting being set up. It's about 2 months old and is about 1/3 business meeting every week because of it- oi! But that's not my question- it'll work itself out. My concern is that they've made a deal with the church where it meets to pay 10% of the 7th Trad colle...	gngcrzy	3	801	Apr 6, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Perfectionism (Preview) In my home group we focussed on perfectionism. Perfectionism is such a rampant symptom of our disease. Its a great topic and one I hope to gain more ES & H on through this post. I think I am really understanding WHY perfectionism is such a toxic thing for me. For me, perfectionism is actually fea...	Jean4444	7	1594	Apr 6, 2009 by Karilynn
	Am I allowed to refer to Karma at Alanon meetings, when sharing? (Preview) Karma: Consequences of one's actions. The motives behind an action. Motivation usually makes the difference between "good" and "bad", but included in the motivation is also the aspect of ignorance; so a well-intended action from an ignorant mind can easily be "bad&q...	mia883	4	578	Apr 5, 2009 by hotrod
	Sad and depressed today---HELP (Preview) I suffer from clinical depression. I cannot blame my depression on anything or anyone. However, when things kind of pile up on me, I go down in the dumps. That is where I am today. First of all, my AD has the family in a drama situation. Even if I ignore her phone calls, I still worry(my own fault). Nev...	clara	4	459	Apr 5, 2009 by maresie
	Emotionally Unavailable (Preview) Do relationships exist where you can count on your spouse being emotionally available? Will my A Hubby ALWAYS be emotionally unavailable? Is it too much to ask for my a husband to put my cares, concerns, hopes, dreams, fears or even our marriages hopes and dreams somewhere on his list of things to ad...	Sincerely	8	691	Apr 5, 2009 by Diva
	Working the Steps (Preview) I've been to 4 f2f meetings this past week and I always hear about working the steps. What I want to know is, how and when do you work them? For instance, 2 of the meetings this week focused on Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. One of the women at the meeting said that she...	N8SMOM	3	564	Apr 4, 2009 by Jean4444
	Length of Rehab... (Preview) Ever wonder about how things like "28-day" rehabs evolved? If you're like me, you'd hope that there was some "science" behind it all, and it took that amount of time for addicts to have their best chance at sobriety.... My understanding is that the 28-days was arrived at, mos...	canadianguy	6	873	Apr 4, 2009 by Sis63
	Prayers for my community please. (Preview) ((((Family))), If you have been watching CNN today, then you know about the shooting at the American Civic Association. 12 people are dead, so is the gunmen and numerous are injured. I am stunned by this news. There were problems in the community with gangs coming in and recovery is not easy in this...	Karilynn	6	1021	Apr 4, 2009 by clara
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.