Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I found my husband passed out in the garage this morning (where he hides his alcohol). I didn't know what to do, so I called his brother (who lives an hour away). His brother came over after work and has sort of taken over things. My husband is completely out-of-it right now. His brother says that w...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've been searching for words to decribe how I feel and read a post here that just summed it all up.....emotionally hungover. Since the last contact with EXABF I have been everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Upside down and inside out, dancing the dance just one more time. I can't maintai...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

I foolishly engaged in a chatty little email exchange with my main qualifier. I haven't seen him since before Christmas, and we've hardly talked or emailed. My life is good. I'm pretty happy, though I still miss him immensely. What could be the harm in talking about the weather and Easter plans? Nothi...

barisax · barisax

I thought I'd start a new thread on this topic, although it was seeded by this comment from Joelle in the "Hard Sell" thread: I have always felt the way you do. Alanon seems to me to be a last resort. When you can no longer deal with the crap of the A in your life you turn to Alanon for supp...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

April 19, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Approval of March Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...

chezza · chezza

I came across this today and would like to share it with you guys. It reminded me again to give myself a break and use the slogan easy does it each time I try to fire ahead looking for change overnight. The patterns I follow I have been following for a long time which means it is like starting from birth agai...

BrianS · BrianS

I am trying to register with the step board but it won't let me. It is saying that my email is allready in use. This is true because I am registered here. So now what do I do? Can any one help?

QOD · QOD

I have been divorced from my ex-ah for a year. We started dating again 6 months ago. I initiated that one. Things are going pretty good for us for the most part. However, I know that I could NEVER live w/him again. There are too many things about him that drive me crazy. The perfect situation for me is...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), Today is a bittersweet day for me. It's my anniversary. I miss my beloved Tim very much. I have many happy memories to comfort me. I was blessed to call him my best friend, my lover and my husband. I remember last April 1. It fell on a Sunday and of course it being the first day of trout...

Diva · Diva

I am one whose A is emotionally unavailable. By that I mean that he will not discuss my needs, wants, dreams, hopes, fears...nothing! He is the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand. He changes the subject abruptly if I want to have a serious discussion. Well, I am no idiot. I have long since...

chezza · chezza

I am feeling a power I have never felt before in my life which I believe is my higher power. The reason being that I found an email in my box today requesting me to delete my ex b/f from contact list due to an email being sent his way. I quickly and simply emailed him back apologising for the email being sent a...

grateful · grateful

I was wondering if others go through this......I have been with alanon for many years, I have divorced my a, (final this month). My life has improved in so many ways, financially, have received many promotions at work....I think maybe because I was working on myself. Have met a wonderful man, who trea...

stillkickin · stillkickin

For those who I haven't talked to in the last couple days, we had to take my dad to the hospital on Thursday. He was having pain in the chest and shortness of breath. It turns out that he was having a heart attack. They are going to be doing a quadruple bypass tomorrow morning. Thankfully the attack did not c...

Girl Dandy · Girl Dandy

I don't know where to start. I just need to vent. I kicked my drug addicted boyfriend of 8 years out of our home a little over a month ago. During the last 8 years together, I saw his addiction go from miserable to worse back to miserable, before it finally evened out for two to three years due to methadone m...

spirit · spirit

I cannot stop crying again. I have now started to see a therapist again. My A blames me . I have expressed how depressed I am. Its my fault. My A drinks more tonight and argues with me that my attitude is bad. I am accused of seeing someone else. I answer, how could I with NO FRIENDS My A drinks and smokes more t...

chezza · chezza

Hi everyone I've been with al-anon for six months now and split from my AB (in recovery) four months ago. I have posted on here on this same issue before I have when in relationship and breaking away. Sometime it feels that am the only person that find this so difficult to detach from. We had continued t...

CarlosNA · CarlosNA

My wife is a recovering addict who has been clean for 9 months. Six of those were during voluntary in custody program inside of a jail. The past 3 months she has been living with me and going to a program 3 days a week and an after care class once a week. She has also been going to NA meetings every day for the pa...

blender_girl · blender_girl

For those of you who may not be familiar with my story, I'm currently living with an active AH. He's been drinking consistently for over 20 years and has gotten to the point where his non-drinking days may be 1 out of 10 at best. We have been married for nearly 25 years, have 3 kids - 8, 18 and 20. The ol...

Jozie · Jozie

New Day I suppose... Feeling a Touch stronger but still wore out... I just can't seem to muster the strength I long to have at this moment... I would love nothing more then to just get out of dodge... However, holiday's around here are like excuses to go crazy... If it isn't the anxioty of the company, its...

Tracy · Tracy

I read something today that said would I treat my best friend the way I treat my self. I am so hard on myself always beating myself up. From today I decide to forgive me for mistakes I am only human. I have done the best I can with what I knew at the time. From to day I intend to be a little gentler with me. Al a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I did something I know is not a very Al-Anon thing to do. I counted the beers in the fridge this morning. I asked my husband not to drink for the next 2 days so I could count on him for helping me with all our travel stuff (we were supposed to leave for Hawaii tomorrow). When I asked him to do this his respons...

farmgirlmay · farmgirlmay

My AH moved out 3 weeks ago asking for a seperation but everything leading up to that and several things since had indicated not only to me but to others that there was a female involved. Yesterday he admitted that there was a female he was attracted to or interested in and had been on a "date"...

Aquastrm · Aquastrm

Ok as i am sure many stories begin with this. I am angry and frustrated with AH disease. I am ready to kick him to the curb i am tired of trying to "fix" somthing i cant. He went to the gray bar hotel at the fist of the month to "detox" (this is for his 2nd dui in 10yrs) and get a start on bei...

Holly09 · Holly09

Yesterday my A boyfriend was drinking (usual for Sunday) things were have been fine lately because I just ignore him and go about my business when he is drinking. Things were fine yesterday too he was cooking steak tips on the grill and had said they were done but did not return back in with them so becau...

debilyn · debilyn

I have not had internet hook up as dec. rent was not paid by my tenants who left...then after they left had a huge $980 septic bill, new pump and pumped it out. Just had moved back into my main house. Was tough but our creator kept us alive! will be back soon, thank you for all the pms!! I miss you all more than I...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family Just gotta share a spiritual event I got to be a part of that I had not before. Attended my home group this morning as usual...just off the ocean which was kinda calm. Weather was dry after months of rain. Snow still on top of Mauna Kea telling us it will still be kinda cold Big Island style....

barisax · barisax

Before I go too far, I know Alanon is a program of attraction rather than promotion. But I had to come up with something for a subject line. AA is very often a life or death choice for an alcoholic. It could be court ordered, or meetings are part of a rehab program of some sort. But for someone who has reac...

CarlosNA · CarlosNA

Is this the best place to ask? How can I get an online sponsor or do I have to go to a f2f to get one? How can I get some details on how to detach? Are there other options to improving my relationship with an addict besides detaching or leaving? Let me give some background. I am married to an addict who has been...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Yesterday I could not get EXABF and the entire situation out of my head, and wondering how things go to the point they are with two people who love one another so much. In the beginning I was self confident, secure, independant and exABF was attracted to all of those qualities in me. Then after we broke...

BrianS · BrianS

Does anyone what happen to April's business meeting? I was there for 30 minutes and only half a dozen people showed up and there was no one to chair meeting.

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've spent the day, well to be honest pretty much the week in bed (other than work). I just can not seem to get it together. I have no desire to even comb my hair today, and haven't. I had several realizations last night that have added to my over all knowledge and acceptance of things, and now I am just pl...

Sis63 · Sis63

I've been trying to research the best way to start step 4. I got a blueprint workbook at the suggestion of my sponsor. She also said that she really likes the Paths to Recovery book, which I have. I sat down and read both of the books. I don't know which is better to do. The blueprint seems to be more in depth...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

my AH has deserted me as you might know to live in the west indies for a while. He has also deserted his children (who do not live with me) but I know have been effected by this, particularly the 11 year old daughter. Her father didnt actually tell her when he was home briefly to sort things out, that he was go...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... Sooo... The soga comtinues but I have found the silver lining... Or so I hope... Today. Got up read my "dailys" got to cleaning my house, and thought I would sit down my my neice some curtains..Well I got the 1st line o stitches done, when the mail lady, comes up and needs me to sign a "...

Jozie · Jozie

OK... So if you have been keeping up or checking in on my story, it is along one, and I will try to make the explanation a short one... Afather past, i am responsible for his affairs, gave his home to my Abrother, who did not make it happen and left me with More debt then I ever dreamed of... Sooo Last post stat...

motherhen · motherhen

This is my first entry here. My husband is an alcoholic and is an off again on again kind of binge drinker. Because he goes for weeks or even months at a time without a drop, he then justifies that he is not an alcoholic, of course. He will typically say he will go to lunch and see us at home later and any time he...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It was the night from hell and I didn't think I could hurt that much again but there it was. Missed some work and felt somewhat like I lost my soul. He came over Friday night and we talked openly and honestly and worked things out for now but I'm feeling once bitten twice shy and a little hesitant to trust t...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I have posted on here the past 2 weeks about my A having an affair i guess you would call it. Well I can't deal with it anymore. I want to pack my crap and leave now. But I don't have a job have been looking for 4 months with no luck. I have 2 kids. I get 220 a month for child support for my oldest. I called a crisis ho...

spirit · spirit

Hi everyone, you are the only ones that will listen, it seems like I have been writing here when things go bad. I am sorry. Let me apoligize from my heart. i am very sorry. I didnt mean to be selfish. i am in so much pain and this is all I have. I dont have friends or family or anyone i can turn to. so very isolate...

Geez_Wiz · Geez_Wiz

Hi... I am so angry at my dad. He is 81 years old and he started drinking heavily, before we eat dinner, since he was 77 years old. He drinks around 5pm and then he lays down until dinner on the table. When dinner comes he seems sober. However, right before he sits down for dinner, he seems to be sneaking for m...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

Question for the old timers... There's a new meeting being set up. It's about 2 months old and is about 1/3 business meeting every week because of it- oi! But that's not my question- it'll work itself out. My concern is that they've made a deal with the church where it meets to pay 10% of the 7th Trad colle...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

In my home group we focussed on perfectionism. Perfectionism is such a rampant symptom of our disease. Its a great topic and one I hope to gain more ES & H on through this post. I think I am really understanding WHY perfectionism is such a toxic thing for me. For me, perfectionism is actually fea...

mia883 · mia883

Karma: Consequences of one's actions. The motives behind an action. Motivation usually makes the difference between "good" and "bad", but included in the motivation is also the aspect of ignorance; so a well-intended action from an ignorant mind can easily be "bad&q...

clara · clara

I suffer from clinical depression. I cannot blame my depression on anything or anyone. However, when things kind of pile up on me, I go down in the dumps. That is where I am today. First of all, my AD has the family in a drama situation. Even if I ignore her phone calls, I still worry(my own fault). Nev...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Do relationships exist where you can count on your spouse being emotionally available? Will my A Hubby ALWAYS be emotionally unavailable? Is it too much to ask for my a husband to put my cares, concerns, hopes, dreams, fears or even our marriages hopes and dreams somewhere on his list of things to ad...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I've been to 4 f2f meetings this past week and I always hear about working the steps. What I want to know is, how and when do you work them? For instance, 2 of the meetings this week focused on Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. One of the women at the meeting said that she...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Ever wonder about how things like "28-day" rehabs evolved? If you're like me, you'd hope that there was some "science" behind it all, and it took that amount of time for addicts to have their best chance at sobriety.... My understanding is that the 28-days was arrived at, mos...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), If you have been watching CNN today, then you know about the shooting at the American Civic Association. 12 people are dead, so is the gunmen and numerous are injured. I am stunned by this news. There were problems in the community with gangs coming in and recovery is not easy in this...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

I got a rather strong lecture from my sponsor about how I needed to share in meetings more. I will talk more about it with her, but I am curious to know what other people think about it. For myself, I find ESH too high of a bar. I don't usually have strength or hope to share. My shares are pretty much confus...

hort7 · hort7

Hello, I am new here and pretty new to world of diagnosed alcoholism. My AH has been a drinker for most of the 16 years we have been married and has been sober for 9 months on 03/29/09. Thank you, God! His pattern of drinking was about every 6-8 weeks going on a 1 day binge. I had an inkling there was a problem b...

spirited1 · spirited1

Good day MIP family~ Woke up early and thought I would stop by and let you know that the date with EXABF went well. We had a nice dinner, watched a movie and he went home. We didn't discuss anything as far as us or reconciling or anything-though he did say something about if we decided to keep seeing one ano...

HangingOn · HangingOn

I am new here and need some help. I have a session with my AH and his rehab counselor tomorrow. What should I say or should I keep quiet and just listen? Do I believe what he has to say? I'm not sure if its ok to articulate how confused and disappointed I am, or should I try to stay positive and try to move ah...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Tomorrow will be one week since my A Hubby came home from his brief 4 day rehab stay. I must admit, I have been impressed with my A Hubby's renewed strength. Years ago, I always said that I was prepared if he slipped. After big sober for 3 years he slipped. It has been a long hard miserable crazy 5 year sl...

Bernice · Bernice

Hi everyone. I'm new here and not quite sure if I am posting this correctly. My name is Bernice and I have been married for nine years. My husband has been sober six months. We have been seperated for a few years. I take care of me and my children well. I attend codependancy meetings. I fell out of love with h...

Shell44 · Shell44

Ok, so my AH got 2 summon's to appear in court for a missed child support payment back in 06 and another one for not paying a certain % of healthcare for his other daughter. This is all out of jealousy from his ex. anytime she is jealous or mad they are in court for something. Anyways, this upset my AH so he...

Jozie · Jozie

A Butterfly Lesson.... One day a small opening appeared on a cocoon; a man sat & watched for the burtterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then, it seems to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could not go any further... S...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Sadly, two days ago I got the dreaded phone call from the old ex partner, her chance to get back at me after 7 years...she told me lots of things, some i think were lies some I dont, but she had me in tears for two hours so well done her.Anyway she did tell me that my AH apparantly thinks that Im cool about our sp...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((All))) The disease of alcoholism has taken over a friend of mine. I work in the health profession, Tuesday whilst on duty I came across an old friend. I was so shocked as to their condition. He's so ill with all the complications of alcoholic liver disease. To see him this way was awful, it reall...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

So, I told in another post how a friend of my AH called and said he was talking weird and I freaked out. Well yesterday AH came over and told me that YES, he was sick for 4 hours, not being able to talk, drink water, eyes rolled back, purple lips, seizure, bad bad bad. He was smoking heroin! This is new inform...

QOD · QOD

I have not been on here in a really long time. I initially became a member b/c my husband was abusing drugs and alcohol. It took some time but I was finally able to get a divorce from him. He got his life straightened out and now we are dating again. Not living together but dating. My current situation i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Husband's Drinking is out of Control (Preview) I found my husband passed out in the garage this morning (where he hides his alcohol). I didn't know what to do, so I called his brother (who lives an hour away). His brother came over after work and has sort of taken over things. My husband is completely out-of-it right now. His brother says that w...	N8SMOM	5	1358	Apr 8, 2009 by wildthang86
	Emotional Hangovers and Apologies (Preview) I've been searching for words to decribe how I feel and read a post here that just summed it all up.....emotionally hungover. Since the last contact with EXABF I have been everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Upside down and inside out, dancing the dance just one more time. I can't maintai...	shellyj123	7	573	Apr 8, 2009 by gardenfairy
	Not detached after all, turns out (Preview) I foolishly engaged in a chatty little email exchange with my main qualifier. I haven't seen him since before Christmas, and we've hardly talked or emailed. My life is good. I'm pretty happy, though I still miss him immensely. What could be the harm in talking about the weather and Easter plans? Nothi...	gngcrzy	10	437	Apr 8, 2009 by gngcrzy
	The Difference Between Alanon and Therapy (Preview) I thought I'd start a new thread on this topic, although it was seeded by this comment from Joelle in the "Hard Sell" thread: I have always felt the way you do. Alanon seems to me to be a last resort. When you can no longer deal with the crap of the A in your life you turn to Alanon for supp...	barisax	7	1076	Apr 8, 2009 by Jerry F
	April Business Meeting Agenda (Preview) April 19, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Approval of March Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...	Mandy123	0	302	Apr 8, 2009 by Mandy123
	On learning to do better (Preview) I came across this today and would like to share it with you guys. It reminded me again to give myself a break and use the slogan easy does it each time I try to fire ahead looking for change overnight. The patterns I follow I have been following for a long time which means it is like starting from birth agai...	chezza	5	624	Apr 8, 2009 by blender_girl
	Step board (Preview) I am trying to register with the step board but it won't let me. It is saying that my email is allready in use. This is true because I am registered here. So now what do I do? Can any one help?	BrianS	1	381	Apr 8, 2009 by Jozie
	My Ex-AH - the ups and downs (Preview) I have been divorced from my ex-ah for a year. We started dating again 6 months ago. I initiated that one. Things are going pretty good for us for the most part. However, I know that I could NEVER live w/him again. There are too many things about him that drive me crazy. The perfect situation for me is...	QOD	4	321	Apr 8, 2009 by QOD
	A bittersweet day. (Preview) ((((Family))), Today is a bittersweet day for me. It's my anniversary. I miss my beloved Tim very much. I have many happy memories to comfort me. I was blessed to call him my best friend, my lover and my husband. I remember last April 1. It fell on a Sunday and of course it being the first day of trout...	Karilynn	17	820	Apr 8, 2009 by WendytheVegan
	SOmetimes I detect convoluted thinking. (Preview) I am one whose A is emotionally unavailable. By that I mean that he will not discuss my needs, wants, dreams, hopes, fears...nothing! He is the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand. He changes the subject abruptly if I want to have a serious discussion. Well, I am no idiot. I have long since...	Diva	12	743	Apr 8, 2009 by Karilynn
	Finding a higher power greater than myself (Preview) I am feeling a power I have never felt before in my life which I believe is my higher power. The reason being that I found an email in my box today requesting me to delete my ex b/f from contact list due to an email being sent his way. I quickly and simply emailed him back apologising for the email being sent a...	chezza	3	478	Apr 7, 2009 by Jozie
	Still affected years later? (Preview) I was wondering if others go through this......I have been with alanon for many years, I have divorced my a, (final this month). My life has improved in so many ways, financially, have received many promotions at work....I think maybe because I was working on myself. Have met a wonderful man, who trea...	grateful	5	406	Apr 7, 2009 by Jean4444
	Need Prayers...Dad is in Hospital (Preview) For those who I haven't talked to in the last couple days, we had to take my dad to the hospital on Thursday. He was having pain in the chest and shortness of breath. It turns out that he was having a heart attack. They are going to be doing a quadruple bypass tomorrow morning. Thankfully the attack did not c...	stillkickin	12	567	Apr 7, 2009 by wp
	I don't know where to start (Preview) I don't know where to start. I just need to vent. I kicked my drug addicted boyfriend of 8 years out of our home a little over a month ago. During the last 8 years together, I saw his addiction go from miserable to worse back to miserable, before it finally evened out for two to three years due to methadone m...	Girl Dandy	5	497	Apr 7, 2009 by Girl Dandy
	Just realized something (Preview) I cannot stop crying again. I have now started to see a therapist again. My A blames me . I have expressed how depressed I am. Its my fault. My A drinks more tonight and argues with me that my attitude is bad. I am accused of seeing someone else. I answer, how could I with NO FRIENDS My A drinks and smokes more t...	spirit	17	465	Apr 7, 2009 by spirit
	detachment issues (Preview) Hi everyone I've been with al-anon for six months now and split from my AB (in recovery) four months ago. I have posted on here on this same issue before I have when in relationship and breaking away. Sometime it feels that am the only person that find this so difficult to detach from. We had continued t...	chezza	6	651	Apr 7, 2009 by chezza
	Question about how much to help (Preview) My wife is a recovering addict who has been clean for 9 months. Six of those were during voluntary in custody program inside of a jail. The past 3 months she has been living with me and going to a program 3 days a week and an after care class once a week. She has also been going to NA meetings every day for the pa...	CarlosNA	9	488	Apr 7, 2009 by QOD
	Pros/Cons vs Expectations/Fears (Preview) For those of you who may not be familiar with my story, I'm currently living with an active AH. He's been drinking consistently for over 20 years and has gotten to the point where his non-drinking days may be 1 out of 10 at best. We have been married for nearly 25 years, have 3 kids - 8, 18 and 20. The ol...	blender_girl	5	3975	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Just for Today... Get'n Out of My Rockin Chair... (Preview) New Day I suppose... Feeling a Touch stronger but still wore out... I just can't seem to muster the strength I long to have at this moment... I would love nothing more then to just get out of dodge... However, holiday's around here are like excuses to go crazy... If it isn't the anxioty of the company, its...	Jozie	1	417	Apr 7, 2009 by blender_girl
	forgiveness (Preview) I read something today that said would I treat my best friend the way I treat my self. I am so hard on myself always beating myself up. From today I decide to forgive me for mistakes I am only human. I have done the best I can with what I knew at the time. From to day I intend to be a little gentler with me. Al a...	Tracy	6	591	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Confession (Preview) I did something I know is not a very Al-Anon thing to do. I counted the beers in the fridge this morning. I asked my husband not to drink for the next 2 days so I could count on him for helping me with all our travel stuff (we were supposed to leave for Hawaii tomorrow). When I asked him to do this his respons...	N8SMOM	6	501	Apr 7, 2009 by kitty
	Question regarding anonymity, contact between males & females in AA (Preview) My AH moved out 3 weeks ago asking for a seperation but everything leading up to that and several things since had indicated not only to me but to others that there was a female involved. Yesterday he admitted that there was a female he was attracted to or interested in and had been on a "date"...	farmgirlmay	3	385	Apr 7, 2009 by maresie
	Need help (Preview) Ok as i am sure many stories begin with this. I am angry and frustrated with AH disease. I am ready to kick him to the curb i am tired of trying to "fix" somthing i cant. He went to the gray bar hotel at the fist of the month to "detox" (this is for his 2nd dui in 10yrs) and get a start on bei...	Aquastrm	8	702	Apr 7, 2009 by Shell44
	Upset with myself (Preview) Yesterday my A boyfriend was drinking (usual for Sunday) things were have been fine lately because I just ignore him and go about my business when he is drinking. Things were fine yesterday too he was cooking steak tips on the grill and had said they were done but did not return back in with them so becau...	Holly09	4	409	Apr 7, 2009 by Holly09
	Hello sis and bros (o: (Preview) I have not had internet hook up as dec. rent was not paid by my tenants who left...then after they left had a huge $980 septic bill, new pump and pumped it out. Just had moved back into my main house. Was tough but our creator kept us alive! will be back soon, thank you for all the pms!! I miss you all more than I...	debilyn	6	576	Apr 6, 2009 by Maria123
	Early morning spiritual event... (Preview) Aloha Family Just gotta share a spiritual event I got to be a part of that I had not before. Attended my home group this morning as usual...just off the ocean which was kinda calm. Weather was dry after months of rain. Snow still on top of Mauna Kea telling us it will still be kinda cold Big Island style....	Jerry F	6	566	Apr 6, 2009 by Maria123
	Alanon a Hard Sell? (Preview) Before I go too far, I know Alanon is a program of attraction rather than promotion. But I had to come up with something for a subject line. AA is very often a life or death choice for an alcoholic. It could be court ordered, or meetings are part of a rehab program of some sort. But for someone who has reac...	barisax	17	1116	Apr 6, 2009 by joelle
	Newcomer questions (Preview) Is this the best place to ask? How can I get an online sponsor or do I have to go to a f2f to get one? How can I get some details on how to detach? Are there other options to improving my relationship with an addict besides detaching or leaving? Let me give some background. I am married to an addict who has been...	CarlosNA	8	520	Apr 6, 2009 by luvinmom
	I've never felt lower or more alone...My epihany-(sorry this is so long)...... (Preview) Yesterday I could not get EXABF and the entire situation out of my head, and wondering how things go to the point they are with two people who love one another so much. In the beginning I was self confident, secure, independant and exABF was attracted to all of those qualities in me. Then after we broke...	shellyj123	6	830	Apr 6, 2009 by luvinmom
	April meeting (Preview) Does anyone what happen to April's business meeting? I was there for 30 minutes and only half a dozen people showed up and there was no one to chair meeting.	BrianS	2	295	Apr 6, 2009 by BrianS
	Trying sooo hard to find my program.... (Preview) I've spent the day, well to be honest pretty much the week in bed (other than work). I just can not seem to get it together. I have no desire to even comb my hair today, and haven't. I had several realizations last night that have added to my over all knowledge and acceptance of things, and now I am just pl...	shellyj123	5	543	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	Working step 4... (Preview) I've been trying to research the best way to start step 4. I got a blueprint workbook at the suggestion of my sponsor. She also said that she really likes the Paths to Recovery book, which I have. I sat down and read both of the books. I don't know which is better to do. The blueprint seems to be more in depth...	Sis63	5	1430	Apr 6, 2009 by Sis63
	Deserted.... (Preview) my AH has deserted me as you might know to live in the west indies for a while. He has also deserted his children (who do not live with me) but I know have been effected by this, particularly the 11 year old daughter. Her father didnt actually tell her when he was home briefly to sort things out, that he was go...	Lilly Burn	3	456	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	And so it continues... (Preview) Ok... Sooo... The soga comtinues but I have found the silver lining... Or so I hope... Today. Got up read my "dailys" got to cleaning my house, and thought I would sit down my my neice some curtains..Well I got the 1st line o stitches done, when the mail lady, comes up and needs me to sign a "...	Jozie	8	528	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	NEED to Vent.... (Preview) OK... So if you have been keeping up or checking in on my story, it is along one, and I will try to make the explanation a short one... Afather past, i am responsible for his affairs, gave his home to my Abrother, who did not make it happen and left me with More debt then I ever dreamed of... Sooo Last post stat...	Jozie	6	462	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	What else can I do to help my 10 year old deal? (Preview) This is my first entry here. My husband is an alcoholic and is an off again on again kind of binge drinker. Because he goes for weeks or even months at a time without a drop, he then justifies that he is not an alcoholic, of course. He will typically say he will go to lunch and see us at home later and any time he...	motherhen	9	1278	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	He broke up with me on April Fool's Day - No joke.... (Preview) It was the night from hell and I didn't think I could hurt that much again but there it was. Missed some work and felt somewhat like I lost my soul. He came over Friday night and we talked openly and honestly and worked things out for now but I'm feeling once bitten twice shy and a little hesitant to trust t...	carolinagirl	3	526	Apr 6, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Need help leaving (Preview) I have posted on here the past 2 weeks about my A having an affair i guess you would call it. Well I can't deal with it anymore. I want to pack my crap and leave now. But I don't have a job have been looking for 4 months with no luck. I have 2 kids. I get 220 a month for child support for my oldest. I called a crisis ho...	Melissa21	8	711	Apr 6, 2009 by maresie
	thank you (Preview) Hi everyone, you are the only ones that will listen, it seems like I have been writing here when things go bad. I am sorry. Let me apoligize from my heart. i am very sorry. I didnt mean to be selfish. i am in so much pain and this is all I have. I dont have friends or family or anyone i can turn to. so very isolate...	spirit	4	380	Apr 6, 2009 by Jozie
	So Fed Up with Dad’s Denial (at 82 years old) (Preview) Hi... I am so angry at my dad. He is 81 years old and he started drinking heavily, before we eat dinner, since he was 77 years old. He drinks around 5pm and then he lays down until dinner on the table. When dinner comes he seems sober. However, right before he sits down for dinner, he seems to be sneaking for m...	Geez_Wiz	4	840	Apr 6, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	question about meeting being subsidized (Preview) Question for the old timers... There's a new meeting being set up. It's about 2 months old and is about 1/3 business meeting every week because of it- oi! But that's not my question- it'll work itself out. My concern is that they've made a deal with the church where it meets to pay 10% of the 7th Trad colle...	gngcrzy	3	776	Apr 6, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Perfectionism (Preview) In my home group we focussed on perfectionism. Perfectionism is such a rampant symptom of our disease. Its a great topic and one I hope to gain more ES & H on through this post. I think I am really understanding WHY perfectionism is such a toxic thing for me. For me, perfectionism is actually fea...	Jean4444	7	1503	Apr 6, 2009 by Karilynn
	Am I allowed to refer to Karma at Alanon meetings, when sharing? (Preview) Karma: Consequences of one's actions. The motives behind an action. Motivation usually makes the difference between "good" and "bad", but included in the motivation is also the aspect of ignorance; so a well-intended action from an ignorant mind can easily be "bad&q...	mia883	4	547	Apr 5, 2009 by hotrod
	Sad and depressed today---HELP (Preview) I suffer from clinical depression. I cannot blame my depression on anything or anyone. However, when things kind of pile up on me, I go down in the dumps. That is where I am today. First of all, my AD has the family in a drama situation. Even if I ignore her phone calls, I still worry(my own fault). Nev...	clara	4	440	Apr 5, 2009 by maresie
	Emotionally Unavailable (Preview) Do relationships exist where you can count on your spouse being emotionally available? Will my A Hubby ALWAYS be emotionally unavailable? Is it too much to ask for my a husband to put my cares, concerns, hopes, dreams, fears or even our marriages hopes and dreams somewhere on his list of things to ad...	Sincerely	8	675	Apr 5, 2009 by Diva
	Working the Steps (Preview) I've been to 4 f2f meetings this past week and I always hear about working the steps. What I want to know is, how and when do you work them? For instance, 2 of the meetings this week focused on Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. One of the women at the meeting said that she...	N8SMOM	3	544	Apr 4, 2009 by Jean4444
	Length of Rehab... (Preview) Ever wonder about how things like "28-day" rehabs evolved? If you're like me, you'd hope that there was some "science" behind it all, and it took that amount of time for addicts to have their best chance at sobriety.... My understanding is that the 28-days was arrived at, mos...	canadianguy	6	849	Apr 4, 2009 by Sis63
	Prayers for my community please. (Preview) ((((Family))), If you have been watching CNN today, then you know about the shooting at the American Civic Association. 12 people are dead, so is the gunmen and numerous are injured. I am stunned by this news. There were problems in the community with gangs coming in and recovery is not easy in this...	Karilynn	6	997	Apr 4, 2009 by clara
	question abut sharing in meetings (Preview) I got a rather strong lecture from my sponsor about how I needed to share in meetings more. I will talk more about it with her, but I am curious to know what other people think about it. For myself, I find ESH too high of a bar. I don't usually have strength or hope to share. My shares are pretty much confus...	gngcrzy	15	1113	Apr 4, 2009 by Jean4444
	New to this forum and Al-Anon (Preview) Hello, I am new here and pretty new to world of diagnosed alcoholism. My AH has been a drinker for most of the 16 years we have been married and has been sober for 9 months on 03/29/09. Thank you, God! His pattern of drinking was about every 6-8 weeks going on a 1 day binge. I had an inkling there was a problem b...	hort7	7	595	Apr 3, 2009 by hort7
	Date night (Preview) Good day MIP family~ Woke up early and thought I would stop by and let you know that the date with EXABF went well. We had a nice dinner, watched a movie and he went home. We didn't discuss anything as far as us or reconciling or anything-though he did say something about if we decided to keep seeing one ano...	spirited1	1	418	Apr 3, 2009 by BrianS
	AH in rehab and our 1st Family Session is tomorrow...any advice? (Preview) I am new here and need some help. I have a session with my AH and his rehab counselor tomorrow. What should I say or should I keep quiet and just listen? Do I believe what he has to say? I'm not sure if its ok to articulate how confused and disappointed I am, or should I try to stay positive and try to move ah...	HangingOn	10	882	Apr 3, 2009 by Jean4444
	It's been a week...without being weak! (Preview) Tomorrow will be one week since my A Hubby came home from his brief 4 day rehab stay. I must admit, I have been impressed with my A Hubby's renewed strength. Years ago, I always said that I was prepared if he slipped. After big sober for 3 years he slipped. It has been a long hard miserable crazy 5 year sl...	Sincerely	4	666	Apr 3, 2009 by Jozie
	New to this forum but not new to this disease (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here and not quite sure if I am posting this correctly. My name is Bernice and I have been married for nine years. My husband has been sober six months. We have been seperated for a few years. I take care of me and my children well. I attend codependancy meetings. I fell out of love with h...	Bernice	8	1425	Apr 3, 2009 by Bernice
	My AH's call for help id it really a suicide attempt? Opnions please! (Preview) Ok, so my AH got 2 summon's to appear in court for a missed child support payment back in 06 and another one for not paying a certain % of healthcare for his other daughter. This is all out of jealousy from his ex. anytime she is jealous or mad they are in court for something. Anyways, this upset my AH so he...	Shell44	13	885	Apr 2, 2009 by Jean4444
	A Lesson in Strength & Fortitude :O (Preview) A Butterfly Lesson.... One day a small opening appeared on a cocoon; a man sat & watched for the burtterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then, it seems to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could not go any further... S...	Jozie	4	783	Apr 2, 2009 by Jerry F
	My AH thinks I am cool about our separation (Preview) Sadly, two days ago I got the dreaded phone call from the old ex partner, her chance to get back at me after 7 years...she told me lots of things, some i think were lies some I dont, but she had me in tears for two hours so well done her.Anyway she did tell me that my AH apparantly thinks that Im cool about our sp...	Lilly Burn	7	822	Apr 2, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	A good friend (Preview) Hi (((All))) The disease of alcoholism has taken over a friend of mine. I work in the health profession, Tuesday whilst on duty I came across an old friend. I was so shocked as to their condition. He's so ill with all the complications of alcoholic liver disease. To see him this way was awful, it reall...	Mariner	2	544	Apr 2, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Dissapointed and kinda OK (Preview) So, I told in another post how a friend of my AH called and said he was talking weird and I freaked out. Well yesterday AH came over and told me that YES, he was sick for 4 hours, not being able to talk, drink water, eyes rolled back, purple lips, seizure, bad bad bad. He was smoking heroin! This is new inform...	Priscilla83	5	458	Apr 2, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Anyone Ever Live in Fear of their Own Teenager? (Preview) I have not been on here in a really long time. I initially became a member b/c my husband was abusing drugs and alcohol. It took some time but I was finally able to get a divorce from him. He got his life straightened out and now we are dating again. Not living together but dating. My current situation i...	QOD	6	693	Apr 2, 2009 by Gailey
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.