Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Debilyn · Debilyn

I delivered the two pots Boo and Dickens to their new home. It was so nice there. Every animal is beautiful and happy. I was so impressed. The pigs were not upset at all. I will mention I almost had a heart attack getting Boo in the car. Scared the pants off me. Trying to push a 250 pound pig into your back seat...

Vickif · Vickif

Hi all. I have been at my parents house for a week now, and have been doing fine. Until today. I haven't spoken to my A very much. Again, until today...he was telling me that I need to get my stuff out of our house. I lost it and started crying. He said that our relationship has been bad for many years. That cau...

Overcome · Overcome

Aloha posted this very same subject title January 23rd. It has been on my mind ever since. I posted a reply to one of the shares on that thread: sdisnie wrote: As for being attracted to the bad boy.....that's something that is very very hard to overcome....we can't always help who we are attracted too,...

liljeannie · liljeannie

My abf of almost 9yrs and I recently separated. My choice. I had started moving forward with my life, got a second job, reached out to friends and began working my program from the beginning. Then panic set in. I lost my second job, started drowning in my pity pool and begged him to come home. He &quo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, thought I would come and share. I have behaved really unacceptably towards my sober ABF. I did a self esteem course and it brought up all my ingrained beliefs and my sickness (co dependency). A lady was questioning my beliefs that I have to be strong, fix it, basically do every thing its a...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Do you walk on eggshells? Check. Are you afraid of confrontation? Check. Do you make wrong decisions? Check. Do you tell white lies to avoid anger? Check. Are you often angry with yourself for letting others get their way? Check. Do you blame yourself for everything? Checkbut been working on this and...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

and what a week it has been! birthdays to remember, time well spent, seeing people I love, enjoying (not really) cold temps. realizing that winter is still here! Want SPRING so bad! What a joy that my week has been even though I didn't attend my meetings--I am suffering for that in a way! I need to attend...

ClippedWings · ClippedWings

Today is the first time I've REALIZED I'm broken. I spent 13 years trying to "fix" my AH. Defending him relentlessly, standing tirelessly by his side while enduring sleepless nights and a neverending supply of worries. Playing the Strong and Responsible parent from our first born, thr...

Honeypie · Honeypie

A bf went on a bender last night. The reason I know this is when he called he was very loud and slurring his words. Then I received hang ups because he can't see the phone to dial properly and lastly received a drunken message in the middle of the night. Now I know this is not my fault, I didn't make him drink a...

Sunset · Sunset

This is my first time posting here..I don't really know where to begin ..all i know is that i need alanon & acoa because my life is unmanageable and has been for a very long time. Today after the alanon mtg here i feel hopeful again that i can get better. I never looked at self-pity like an addiction u...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Wanted to share my horrible evening last night and get some of your shared experiences on the matter.I didn't go to work yesterday. My mom called my cell at 2:30, I didnt answer as I didnt feel like lying and pretending I was at work and risk her driving by and seeing my car at home. (My parents live on the st...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

41 years ago today I was blessed w/ a baby sis! I guess I have always loved her & felt close to her in a way but lately on FB I have got to know her personality in a way I have never seen. I feel a connection to her but feel she is not close as I wish she were. I know she tries to be understanding & helpful but...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

This is totally unrelated to my marriage and not something that I'm dealing with, but my sister is. Are there message boards like this for people who are married to someone who is addicted to porn and other things of that nature? My sis and I talked about our marriages in detail today and she confessed...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I knew I knew I was better when my two little dogs woke me from my nap wrestling on my head...and I laughed. (c: There is no question my body is responding to the meds. and resting. You guys helped me again to find me. This was one of the worst times of my life. The numbness is going away, anxiety is pretty much...

likemyheart · likemyheart

It's snowing outside. I was driving home and listening to Josh Groban's "Let Me Fall" - had it on repeat so I could just let the meloncholy melody continue to wash over me. At first I was thinking it is what my AH needs - to surrender, stop fighting - stop denying the truth of his disease and l...

Jerry F · Jerry F

found myself outside of the box this morning and decided Aaaaay fantastic I can do this...I can fit in and no one will know. Then I was in trouble again. Practiced making apologies; several of them; first one to my spouse and then to a stranger and then to my self and then to my HP. Sometimes it's okay t...

Aloha · Aloha

I attended another meeting I don't normally attend on Friday night. It was actually an open AA meeting but with open Al-Anon participation. One of my double-winner friends started it and is calling it a Common Ground meeting. I think it's a fantastic idea, personally. Don't know how it gets listed in...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

I am trying, I really am, to let go and let God. I am powerless and I cannot control or cure any of it. It's just sad though isn't it? You know someone literally half your life and now the lies just come so easy. Want to shake him and snap him out of it - but I know it won't do any good. Someone said "if t...

Honeypie · Honeypie

I went to a f2f meeting on Saturday. I was nervous never having been to any kind of meeting like that before in my life. Everyone was very friendly and they didn't push which I was worried they would. It was so good to meet people who have had the same kinds of experiences. I am going to go back next week. It re...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I have found that forgiving creates peace within myself and more time to focus on myself. I have confusion though with anger I can still feel over things I feel I have truly forgiven, is my anger residual resentment or not forgiving? And there is still so much to forgive. I am scared to forgive everyth...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

Sadly my wife has relapsed and had a three day binge. I am doing better in detaching and while I still feel very sad for her and concern for my kids I don't have that catastrophic world hanging in the balance on my every decision feeling. I feel a sense of balance so I really have to thank Al-anon and in par...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

Good morning all. I have a question regarding the whole spectrum of "self". I have been coming here for quite some time now. I attend F2F weekly. I have been working hard on the steps and trying to change aspects of my life so I can hopefully, one day, be well or as close to it as I can be. In a...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I hope I can convey in words what I was discussing with my addictions counselor today. When discussing the control issue of my AH's drinking, she told me that I should put down my foot. She told me to tell my AH that I can't have him drinking anymore. That it is detrimental to my mental health and to our m...

Faerydae · Faerydae

New here... hi everyone! I have a question for anyone who could offer advice on how to help a friend. My friend feels that she and her husband cannot leave their adult son at home alone because he will drink. He is an alcoholic but refuses to seek treatment or go to AA. My husband and I think they should kick...

Evian · Evian

AH informs me last night that he's been analyzing himself... and that he in fact (lol) is not an alcoholic... that he doesn't suffer from it, that he believes he suffers from OCD.. He tells me that he hates my new hair cut, tells me I don't look good with it, which whatever... I like it, that's all that ma...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife and I are both actively working our programs--me Al Anon, her AA. And we are seeing the same therapist individually who is helping us deal with lifelong issues from our past that are holding us back. It's an overwhelming process and there are times when I feel myself thinking "I really rea...

whispa · whispa

hi all, my partner of nearly 12 years is (was) a drinker he has been sober 20 days today and is going to AA. we have been through it all before but im hopefull that this time it works as i love him to bits. the problem is me, i feel like i want to smash things up and screem and shout. i can be watching tv, be in the pa...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Okay the reality is we got poked by the crumby economy this first half of the month and we don't have any power over it. My spouse is distraught by it and outwardly looks bad...like it's frightenly out of control. It is out of our control and we have learned things to do about it rather than to worry and co...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I moved out ...My AH is having a hard time excepting that i'm gone. His drinking and pill taking seem to have gone out of control...Now he wants to come to MY house to "see the cat"...I feel bad..so bad. He's lost, out of control and has no one else. No family or friends....Is this setting a boun...

Screaming Barbie · Screaming Barbie

I am posting daily thoughts and such on a page about recovery-type things. This is for Al-Anon and AA people. I am looking for stories or tales about how people sometimes seek revenge but end up hurting themselves more than the person they were wanting to hurt. Or any other topic such as Letting Go and O...

roxygirl · roxygirl

I'm confused, please help me understand. Why do people who are an Al-anon member, do the 12 step program? I thought it was just for the addict? Please forgive my ignorance. Thanks, Roxygirl

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

38 years ago I was blessed w/ a very loving & special brother! I often feel a connection to him that may not always be healthy because maybe I love him too much. One time I told him I loved him & missed him & he said Ahh! I felt so sad that he didn't say it back--it hurt it really did but maybe he jus...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi my sober ABf is in Aa a newcomer asked if he would get me to ring his wife as she was going to attend her first meeting and was a bit nervous. I rang and we had a little chat she is going to a meeting tonight, I said its not my regular meeting but would meet her there if it would help. they say in al anon let it be...

jocelgp · jocelgp

my husband has not had a drink for 3 weeks now, that's according to him for i have stopped tracking. last night he told me he's only going to have a few bottles of beer with friends, of course that's to get my "approval". i don't really care if he drinks or not, i am trying to condition myself no...

xeno59 · xeno59

I have been down with the cold/flu bug Should I be late ( as my sleep is erratic) I am hoping someone will step up to chair. Thanks for your understanding Blessings xeno

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, I haven't been as active on hear in a while but I have been lurking daily and randomly replying just cant seem to find energy to do much anymore other than that which I have to do which I feel Is way too much to handle but I know its not (or didnt used to be) it's just how I feel as a result of how my lif...

dani2304 · dani2304

I am in a relationship going on 4 yrs. I was living with my boyfriend with him n my 3 kids from a previous marriage. he loved the like his own and was great to them. He has a pretty bad drinking problem. its not an every day thing, but when he drinks it cant be just a few, it turns to 15 or more beers n he becomes cr...

freeagain · freeagain

What do you do to stop feeling judgemental? It's bringing ME down and upsetting me but for whatever reason (refusal to examine my OWN issues/character defects) I can't seem to stop. I am so filled with resentments I can't even consentrate on doing a 4th step.....UGH!!!! And quick tricks to get me on th...

John · John

Hi Everyone, You recently had an exchange on this board with Arinna599, who had posted in the past few days about her previous marriage of 11 years, and the abuses she endured at the hands of her ex husband. I read her post, your replies to it, and her husbands post.. I am not sure exactly why, but I was co...

MarshaB · MarshaB

My 37year old single daughter is addicted to prescription drugs - in May 2010, we brought her home from Texas - not realizing this - she lived with grandma for a couple of months - found a minimum wage job and moved out (family insisted). In this short time she has lost 2 jobs (minimum wage type - she has a c...

Mary K · Mary K

Daughter has relapsed - child's father threatening to break up relationship - etc., etc., she just doesn't get it and i guess hasn't hit bottom yet - i am struggling with letting go and letting God! I love her and my grandson and hate to see them struggling so much - just wish they could all see that addic...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I'm angry at the 12 Steps! How dare they be worded so simply, yet be so hard to do! So, I'm angry at them today. I'm angry because I know I have to do the work, but the work is hard. I want someone else to do it for me. So, I'm angry! I want to run away. I want to run as far and as fast as I can. And when I get tir...

Debilyn · Debilyn

You know those places ya see on tv, where if you want a cup of tea someone brings it? And there are group therapy sessions and private ones? I picture all my dogs are super clean and my bedding is white. I can live in a white nightgown. Not have to think about anything. Trying not to now. Put my potted pigs on C...

EstellineGirl · EstellineGirl

My husband and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary 4 days ago. He hit the bottle again last night. I, of course, did what I always do when this happens and became very hateful. I say mean things. Which is of course better than what I want to do, which is squeeze his head off of his neck. Not really of course,...

kyrie · kyrie

Good morning, I went to 3 alanon meetings in the last 2 weeks. I haven't said a word. Honestly, I don't know where to begin. I said I was a "newcomer" at the first meeting, but I wasn't in a strict sense. I attend alanon about 5 times 2 years ago. I'm just not sure if this is where I belong but I know t...

Worth It · Worth It

Am I suppose to ignore my addicted husband's denial? I sent him out of the house to get help, he's getting it, but cannot come back until I feel ready for him to return home. My condition is that he is to be an actively recovering person if he chooses to live with me and the kids. He has discovered his ch...

Vickif · Vickif

Frustrating morning. He came home around 3am slamming doors and cursing. I pretended to be asleep. Don't know what all the anger was for, don't really care. When I got up this morning, I walked out to the laundry room and there was a girls watch and scarf just sitting there. How rude of him. Sitting there...

Sandy_K · Sandy_K

It's been so hard for me to know just where to begin. I had decided in December (I think) to begin going to Al-anon as hubby said he was going to begin AA meetingss. We were gone for a week of vacation, and a week after we returned our youngest son committed suicie at 23. I was fortunate to find this site a few w...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

for my life lately. The bills are never ending - I manage all the finances alone despite many offers to share the responsibility w/my AH. The parenting - yup, got it. The kids have been having a really hard time lately, they sense that things are not right, they pick up on my anxiety, add to that snow da...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I finally got my message across at an open AA meeting last night. I can't say all I shared but I think I opened some of the AAs eyes there. I guess what I needed was a captive audience & I got it! I can't say that I don't get through at an alanon meeting but they are so small & I missed my monthly big ala...

RLC · RLC

MIP Family FYI I just received a phone call from John. He told me to relay to everyone that it will be 2:00 pm est tomorrow (Sunday) before the video he posted today can be uploaded on the MIP site due to technical problems. He has no computer available today. He said he is so far out in the country toda...

B_L · B_L

So my sometimes in-recovery girlfriend seems to have turned over a new leaf since last week. Last Friday she was so drunk she ended up in the hospital (0.5 BAC, no that's not a typo). Her bloodwork showed liver problems. Having a bunch of usually jaded ER docs tell her that her "normal" level...

parfait624 · parfait624

My ABF sent me a text two weeks ago....it said I don't want any contact with you. We had been having problems and going back and fourth about a lot. It started at thanksgiving. He has been sober for three years so he says. He has become addicted to poker. We hadn't seen each other in two weeks when I got...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I found a meeting in my area but I won't be able to go until next week. I'm a little nervous because I don't know what to expect but I know I really need to go. I read some of the FAQs on the website and read the 12 steps and some of the meeting materials. I am a little confused though. A lot of the stuff I read s...

faith84 · faith84

This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. I have started recognizing my severity of codependency. I mentioned this to my AB, and he was completely confused by the fact that I have been blaming him for months and months because of my anger, depression, etc., and now I am blaming myself. I tried to e...

david62 · david62

http://www.nick.com/videos/clip/kids-of-alcoholics-full.html

Rhivenn · Rhivenn

How do you go from saying out loud "I forgive you" to actually being able to let the thing go? Maybe it's different for each of us, but I'm really at a loss on how to do this. Some of you may have read my post about my ABF and his flirtatious texting with his ex (also in AA). I've reached the point whe...

maresie · maresie

I've been working in a dysfunctional, chaotic, completely unfair environment for 18 months. My contract is up in 5 months. For those 18 months I've spent a lot of time resenting, cataloguing the problems which are numerous and daily. With 5 months to go on the contract I've switched my energy to lo...

kari419 · kari419

Well as I posted before. I wrote my AH a letter and did give it to him. It went surprisely well. He was not angry, but did appear a little worried. We talked for a while I stood to my guns and am expecting him to join AA or some other support group and begin the process. I do understand that he can't do this for me...

Loonareclipse · Loonareclipse

My fiancé had been sober for 13 years when he relapsed during 4 months during 2009-10. He got sober again last February, and just celebrated his 1 year anniversary this week. I'm so proud of him, but should I be insecure about his recovery? During this past year we relocated from NYC back to our hometown...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Such a tough one (Preview) I delivered the two pots Boo and Dickens to their new home. It was so nice there. Every animal is beautiful and happy. I was so impressed. The pigs were not upset at all. I will mention I almost had a heart attack getting Boo in the car. Scared the pants off me. Trying to push a 250 pound pig into your back seat...	Debilyn	13	750	Feb 27, 2011 by Debilyn
	Confused today (Preview) Hi all. I have been at my parents house for a week now, and have been doing fine. Until today. I haven't spoken to my A very much. Again, until today...he was telling me that I need to get my stuff out of our house. I lost it and started crying. He said that our relationship has been bad for many years. That cau...	Vickif	8	675	Feb 27, 2011 by abbyal
	Still drawn to the "bad boys" (Preview) Aloha posted this very same subject title January 23rd. It has been on my mind ever since. I posted a reply to one of the shares on that thread: sdisnie wrote: As for being attracted to the bad boy.....that's something that is very very hard to overcome....we can't always help who we are attracted too,...	Overcome	17	1053	Feb 27, 2011 by ythannah
	Heartstrings and other things,need ESH (Preview) My abf of almost 9yrs and I recently separated. My choice. I had started moving forward with my life, got a second job, reached out to friends and began working my program from the beginning. Then panic set in. I lost my second job, started drowning in my pity pool and begged him to come home. He &quo...	liljeannie	5	754	Feb 26, 2011 by danielle0516
	own unacceptable behaviour (Preview) Hi everyone, thought I would come and share. I have behaved really unacceptably towards my sober ABF. I did a self esteem course and it brought up all my ingrained beliefs and my sickness (co dependency). A lady was questioning my beliefs that I have to be strong, fix it, basically do every thing its a...	Tracy	3	1100	Feb 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	Top 10 ways to identify CoDependency. ok ok so I'm CoDependent!! (Preview) Do you walk on eggshells? Check. Are you afraid of confrontation? Check. Do you make wrong decisions? Check. Do you tell white lies to avoid anger? Check. Are you often angry with yourself for letting others get their way? Check. Do you blame yourself for everything? Checkbut been working on this and...	danielle0516	12	2208	Feb 26, 2011 by danielle0516
	reflecting on my week... (Preview) and what a week it has been! birthdays to remember, time well spent, seeing people I love, enjoying (not really) cold temps. realizing that winter is still here! Want SPRING so bad! What a joy that my week has been even though I didn't attend my meetings--I am suffering for that in a way! I need to attend...	Hoot Nanny	2	626	Feb 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	Desperately seeking myself ~ I miss me! Please Help... (Preview) Today is the first time I've REALIZED I'm broken. I spent 13 years trying to "fix" my AH. Defending him relentlessly, standing tirelessly by his side while enduring sleepless nights and a neverending supply of worries. Playing the Strong and Responsible parent from our first born, thr...	ClippedWings	10	887	Feb 26, 2011 by Kona
	He went on a bender----need advice please (Preview) A bf went on a bender last night. The reason I know this is when he called he was very loud and slurring his words. Then I received hang ups because he can't see the phone to dial properly and lastly received a drunken message in the middle of the night. Now I know this is not my fault, I didn't make him drink a...	Honeypie	13	1282	Feb 25, 2011 by Bettina
	NEw (Preview) This is my first time posting here..I don't really know where to begin ..all i know is that i need alanon & acoa because my life is unmanageable and has been for a very long time. Today after the alanon mtg here i feel hopeful again that i can get better. I never looked at self-pity like an addiction u...	Sunset	3	677	Feb 25, 2011 by hotrod
	Issues with my Mom, bad night, looking for experience with this.... (Preview) Wanted to share my horrible evening last night and get some of your shared experiences on the matter.I didn't go to work yesterday. My mom called my cell at 2:30, I didnt answer as I didnt feel like lying and pretending I was at work and risk her driving by and seeing my car at home. (My parents live on the st...	danielle0516	14	986	Feb 25, 2011 by danielle0516
	now on to my sister! (Preview) 41 years ago today I was blessed w/ a baby sis! I guess I have always loved her & felt close to her in a way but lately on FB I have got to know her personality in a way I have never seen. I feel a connection to her but feel she is not close as I wish she were. I know she tries to be understanding & helpful but...	Hoot Nanny	1	702	Feb 25, 2011 by Debilyn
	Problems with porn (Preview) This is totally unrelated to my marriage and not something that I'm dealing with, but my sister is. Are there message boards like this for people who are married to someone who is addicted to porn and other things of that nature? My sis and I talked about our marriages in detail today and she confessed...	ilovedogs	9	2217	Feb 25, 2011 by likemyheart
	OUT of the pit! (Preview) I knew I knew I was better when my two little dogs woke me from my nap wrestling on my head...and I laughed. (c: There is no question my body is responding to the meds. and resting. You guys helped me again to find me. This was one of the worst times of my life. The numbness is going away, anxiety is pretty much...	Debilyn	7	441	Feb 25, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Let Me Fall (Preview) It's snowing outside. I was driving home and listening to Josh Groban's "Let Me Fall" - had it on repeat so I could just let the meloncholy melody continue to wash over me. At first I was thinking it is what my AH needs - to surrender, stop fighting - stop denying the truth of his disease and l...	likemyheart	5	709	Feb 25, 2011 by hotrod
	Found the flap open so (Preview) found myself outside of the box this morning and decided Aaaaay fantastic I can do this...I can fit in and no one will know. Then I was in trouble again. Practiced making apologies; several of them; first one to my spouse and then to a stranger and then to my self and then to my HP. Sometimes it's okay t...	Jerry F	14	493	Feb 25, 2011 by hotrod
	Still drawn to the "bad boys" (Preview) I attended another meeting I don't normally attend on Friday night. It was actually an open AA meeting but with open Al-Anon participation. One of my double-winner friends started it and is calling it a Common Ground meeting. I think it's a fantastic idea, personally. Don't know how it gets listed in...	Aloha	10	818	Feb 25, 2011 by Overcome
	detaching but the lies still sting... (Preview) I am trying, I really am, to let go and let God. I am powerless and I cannot control or cure any of it. It's just sad though isn't it? You know someone literally half your life and now the lies just come so easy. Want to shake him and snap him out of it - but I know it won't do any good. Someone said "if t...	newleaf66	7	1007	Feb 24, 2011 by newleaf66
	Feeling so much better (Preview) I went to a f2f meeting on Saturday. I was nervous never having been to any kind of meeting like that before in my life. Everyone was very friendly and they didn't push which I was worried they would. It was so good to meet people who have had the same kinds of experiences. I am going to go back next week. It re...	Honeypie	7	816	Feb 24, 2011 by DreamXL
	inner conflict over forgiveness (Preview) I have found that forgiving creates peace within myself and more time to focus on myself. I have confusion though with anger I can still feel over things I feel I have truly forgiven, is my anger residual resentment or not forgiving? And there is still so much to forgive. I am scared to forgive everyth...	Jennifer	9	1409	Feb 24, 2011 by Peggy7
	relapse childcare concerns (Preview) Sadly my wife has relapsed and had a three day binge. I am doing better in detaching and while I still feel very sad for her and concern for my kids I don't have that catastrophic world hanging in the balance on my every decision feeling. I feel a sense of balance so I really have to thank Al-anon and in par...	DadtoCandE	4	699	Feb 24, 2011 by Peggy7
	self analysis (Preview) Good morning all. I have a question regarding the whole spectrum of "self". I have been coming here for quite some time now. I attend F2F weekly. I have been working hard on the steps and trying to change aspects of my life so I can hopefully, one day, be well or as close to it as I can be. In a...	Sweet Stanley	8	760	Feb 24, 2011 by hotrod
	My new counselor has me confused (Preview) I hope I can convey in words what I was discussing with my addictions counselor today. When discussing the control issue of my AH's drinking, she told me that I should put down my foot. She told me to tell my AH that I can't have him drinking anymore. That it is detrimental to my mental health and to our m...	ilovedogs	18	874	Feb 24, 2011 by Rhivenn
	Advising a friend... (Preview) New here... hi everyone! I have a question for anyone who could offer advice on how to help a friend. My friend feels that she and her husband cannot leave their adult son at home alone because he will drink. He is an alcoholic but refuses to seek treatment or go to AA. My husband and I think they should kick...	Faerydae	10	959	Feb 23, 2011 by hotrod
	OH MY!!! The insanity! (Preview) AH informs me last night that he's been analyzing himself... and that he in fact (lol) is not an alcoholic... that he doesn't suffer from it, that he believes he suffers from OCD.. He tells me that he hates my new hair cut, tells me I don't look good with it, which whatever... I like it, that's all that ma...	Evian	4	592	Feb 23, 2011 by danielle0516
	Becoming new people... (Preview) My wife and I are both actively working our programs--me Al Anon, her AA. And we are seeing the same therapist individually who is helping us deal with lifelong issues from our past that are holding us back. It's an overwhelming process and there are times when I feel myself thinking "I really rea...	usedtobeanyer	5	754	Feb 23, 2011 by usedtobeanyer
	about to explode.... (Preview) hi all, my partner of nearly 12 years is (was) a drinker he has been sober 20 days today and is going to AA. we have been through it all before but im hopefull that this time it works as i love him to bits. the problem is me, i feel like i want to smash things up and screem and shout. i can be watching tv, be in the pa...	whispa	6	468	Feb 23, 2011 by whispa
	Powerless and grateful for it... (Preview) Okay the reality is we got poked by the crumby economy this first half of the month and we don't have any power over it. My spouse is distraught by it and outwardly looks bad...like it's frightenly out of control. It is out of our control and we have learned things to do about it rather than to worry and co...	Jerry F	1	695	Feb 23, 2011 by Jennifer
	Where are the boundaries? (Preview) I moved out ...My AH is having a hard time excepting that i'm gone. His drinking and pill taking seem to have gone out of control...Now he wants to come to MY house to "see the cat"...I feel bad..so bad. He's lost, out of control and has no one else. No family or friends....Is this setting a boun...	alexmaui	5	884	Feb 22, 2011 by pinkchip
	Looking for Stories or Parables applicable to those in recovery. (closed) (Preview) I am posting daily thoughts and such on a page about recovery-type things. This is for Al-Anon and AA people. I am looking for stories or tales about how people sometimes seek revenge but end up hurting themselves more than the person they were wanting to hurt. Or any other topic such as Letting Go and O...	Screaming Barbie	5	1593	Feb 22, 2011 by Peggy7
	Question? (Preview) I'm confused, please help me understand. Why do people who are an Al-anon member, do the 12 step program? I thought it was just for the addict? Please forgive my ignorance. Thanks, Roxygirl	roxygirl	6	700	Feb 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	this is my bro.s day! (Preview) 38 years ago I was blessed w/ a very loving & special brother! I often feel a connection to him that may not always be healthy because maybe I love him too much. One time I told him I loved him & missed him & he said Ahh! I felt so sad that he didn't say it back--it hurt it really did but maybe he jus...	Hoot Nanny	1	566	Feb 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	supporting new comers (Preview) Hi my sober ABf is in Aa a newcomer asked if he would get me to ring his wife as she was going to attend her first meeting and was a bit nervous. I rang and we had a little chat she is going to a meeting tonight, I said its not my regular meeting but would meet her there if it would help. they say in al anon let it be...	Tracy	5	693	Feb 22, 2011 by Tracy
	tried to detach & focus on myself but he makes life difficult for me (Preview) my husband has not had a drink for 3 weeks now, that's according to him for i have stopped tracking. last night he told me he's only going to have a few bottles of beer with friends, of course that's to get my "approval". i don't really care if he drinks or not, i am trying to condition myself no...	jocelgp	4	827	Feb 22, 2011 by Bettina
	Tuesday am meeting 2/23 (Preview) I have been down with the cold/flu bug Should I be late ( as my sleep is erratic) I am hoping someone will step up to chair. Thanks for your understanding Blessings xeno	xeno59	0	402	Feb 22, 2011 by xeno59
	My update (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't been as active on hear in a while but I have been lurking daily and randomly replying just cant seem to find energy to do much anymore other than that which I have to do which I feel Is way too much to handle but I know its not (or didnt used to be) it's just how I feel as a result of how my lif...	danielle0516	5	729	Feb 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	Just need an ear to listen to me... advice lended ear support (Preview) I am in a relationship going on 4 yrs. I was living with my boyfriend with him n my 3 kids from a previous marriage. he loved the like his own and was great to them. He has a pretty bad drinking problem. its not an every day thing, but when he drinks it cant be just a few, it turns to 15 or more beers n he becomes cr...	dani2304	5	7049	Feb 21, 2011 by EstellineGirl
	Judgement (Preview) What do you do to stop feeling judgemental? It's bringing ME down and upsetting me but for whatever reason (refusal to examine my OWN issues/character defects) I can't seem to stop. I am so filled with resentments I can't even consentrate on doing a 4th step.....UGH!!!! And quick tricks to get me on th...	freeagain	4	1602	Feb 21, 2011 by maryjane
	Letting Go, Letting God, Reclaiming our Lives, Releaseing Resentment - (Dedicated Video) (Preview) Hi Everyone, You recently had an exchange on this board with Arinna599, who had posted in the past few days about her previous marriage of 11 years, and the abuses she endured at the hands of her ex husband. I read her post, your replies to it, and her husbands post.. I am not sure exactly why, but I was co...	John	6	1199	Feb 21, 2011 by hotrod
	Don't know how to handle situation (Preview) My 37year old single daughter is addicted to prescription drugs - in May 2010, we brought her home from Texas - not realizing this - she lived with grandma for a couple of months - found a minimum wage job and moved out (family insisted). In this short time she has lost 2 jobs (minimum wage type - she has a c...	MarshaB	9	1367	Feb 21, 2011 by maresie
	Relapse (Preview) Daughter has relapsed - child's father threatening to break up relationship - etc., etc., she just doesn't get it and i guess hasn't hit bottom yet - i am struggling with letting go and letting God! I love her and my grandson and hate to see them struggling so much - just wish they could all see that addic...	Mary K	2	611	Feb 21, 2011 by Tracy
	I'm angry (Preview) I'm angry at the 12 Steps! How dare they be worded so simply, yet be so hard to do! So, I'm angry at them today. I'm angry because I know I have to do the work, but the work is hard. I want someone else to do it for me. So, I'm angry! I want to run away. I want to run as far and as fast as I can. And when I get tir...	Very Very Tired	11	1728	Feb 21, 2011 by Canadiangrrl
	someone commit me please.... (Preview) You know those places ya see on tv, where if you want a cup of tea someone brings it? And there are group therapy sessions and private ones? I picture all my dogs are super clean and my bedding is white. I can live in a white nightgown. Not have to think about anything. Trying not to now. Put my potted pigs on C...	Debilyn	12	1287	Feb 20, 2011 by RLC
	I don't know what to do anymore (Preview) My husband and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary 4 days ago. He hit the bottle again last night. I, of course, did what I always do when this happens and became very hateful. I say mean things. Which is of course better than what I want to do, which is squeeze his head off of his neck. Not really of course,...	EstellineGirl	4	1084	Feb 20, 2011 by Tattyhead
	Not sure where I belong..but I'm terrified (Preview) Good morning, I went to 3 alanon meetings in the last 2 weeks. I haven't said a word. Honestly, I don't know where to begin. I said I was a "newcomer" at the first meeting, but I wasn't in a strict sense. I attend alanon about 5 times 2 years ago. I'm just not sure if this is where I belong but I know t...	kyrie	6	797	Feb 20, 2011 by pinkchip
	Need Help with letting go (Preview) Am I suppose to ignore my addicted husband's denial? I sent him out of the house to get help, he's getting it, but cannot come back until I feel ready for him to return home. My condition is that he is to be an actively recovering person if he chooses to live with me and the kids. He has discovered his ch...	Worth It	5	799	Feb 20, 2011 by Karilynn
	Trying not to scream at him (Preview) Frustrating morning. He came home around 3am slamming doors and cursing. I pretended to be asleep. Don't know what all the anger was for, don't really care. When I got up this morning, I walked out to the laundry room and there was a girls watch and scarf just sitting there. How rude of him. Sitting there...	Vickif	7	1031	Feb 20, 2011 by Mattie
	A Start (Preview) It's been so hard for me to know just where to begin. I had decided in December (I think) to begin going to Al-anon as hubby said he was going to begin AA meetingss. We were gone for a week of vacation, and a week after we returned our youngest son committed suicie at 23. I was fortunate to find this site a few w...	Sandy_K	4	560	Feb 19, 2011 by Peggy7
	unmanageable is exactly the right word... (Preview) for my life lately. The bills are never ending - I manage all the finances alone despite many offers to share the responsibility w/my AH. The parenting - yup, got it. The kids have been having a really hard time lately, they sense that things are not right, they pick up on my anxiety, add to that snow da...	newleaf66	4	1171	Feb 19, 2011 by Debilyn
	finally at an open AA meeting! (Preview) I finally got my message across at an open AA meeting last night. I can't say all I shared but I think I opened some of the AAs eyes there. I guess what I needed was a captive audience & I got it! I can't say that I don't get through at an alanon meeting but they are so small & I missed my monthly big ala...	Hoot Nanny	1	725	Feb 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Message Form John (Preview) MIP Family FYI I just received a phone call from John. He told me to relay to everyone that it will be 2:00 pm est tomorrow (Sunday) before the video he posted today can be uploaded on the MIP site due to technical problems. He has no computer available today. He said he is so far out in the country toda...	RLC	0	560	Feb 19, 2011 by RLC
	She's Newly Recovering, and Wants to Move In (Preview) So my sometimes in-recovery girlfriend seems to have turned over a new leaf since last week. Last Friday she was so drunk she ended up in the hospital (0.5 BAC, no that's not a typo). Her bloodwork showed liver problems. Having a bunch of usually jaded ER docs tell her that her "normal" level...	B_L	10	806	Feb 19, 2011 by Tracy
	Working on myself but today I miss him (Preview) My ABF sent me a text two weeks ago....it said I don't want any contact with you. We had been having problems and going back and fourth about a lot. It started at thanksgiving. He has been sober for three years so he says. He has become addicted to poker. We hadn't seen each other in two weeks when I got...	parfait624	2	799	Feb 19, 2011 by Tracy
	Question About Meetings (Preview) I found a meeting in my area but I won't be able to go until next week. I'm a little nervous because I don't know what to expect but I know I really need to go. I read some of the FAQs on the website and read the 12 steps and some of the meeting materials. I am a little confused though. A lot of the stuff I read s...	delhommefan	3	613	Feb 19, 2011 by Mobirdie
	So, he's left me... (Preview) This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. I have started recognizing my severity of codependency. I mentioned this to my AB, and he was completely confused by the fact that I have been blaming him for months and months because of my anger, depression, etc., and now I am blaming myself. I tried to e...	faith84	6	782	Feb 19, 2011 by pinkchip
	Nick News Program About children of alcoholism (Preview) http://www.nick.com/videos/clip/kids-of-alcoholics-full.html	david62	2	783	Feb 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Resentments, and how do I let them go? (Preview) How do you go from saying out loud "I forgive you" to actually being able to let the thing go? Maybe it's different for each of us, but I'm really at a loss on how to do this. Some of you may have read my post about my ABF and his flirtatious texting with his ex (also in AA). I've reached the point whe...	Rhivenn	9	922	Feb 18, 2011 by maresie
	Making choices (Preview) I've been working in a dysfunctional, chaotic, completely unfair environment for 18 months. My contract is up in 5 months. For those 18 months I've spent a lot of time resenting, cataloguing the problems which are numerous and daily. With 5 months to go on the contract I've switched my energy to lo...	maresie	2	537	Feb 18, 2011 by hotrod
	wait and see game (Preview) Well as I posted before. I wrote my AH a letter and did give it to him. It went surprisely well. He was not angry, but did appear a little worried. We talked for a while I stood to my guns and am expecting him to join AA or some other support group and begin the process. I do understand that he can't do this for me...	kari419	1	550	Feb 18, 2011 by Bettina
	Fiancé has been sober for 1 year, is it too soon to get married this spring? (Preview) My fiancé had been sober for 13 years when he relapsed during 4 months during 2009-10. He got sober again last February, and just celebrated his 1 year anniversary this week. I'm so proud of him, but should I be insecure about his recovery? During this past year we relocated from NYC back to our hometown...	Loonareclipse	12	1162	Feb 18, 2011 by Mattie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.