Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

searching4peace · searching4peace

Seriously. I have been reading all over the board and going through my alanon literature all day and I realize that I am being crazy. I am actually acting like an insane person. I want something. I don't ask for it. I hint, imply, pout, sulk, manipulate, threaten, coerce and even lie. But I don't j...

Steph444 · Steph444

Well, I went to most of an alanon meeting tonight. Everyone was very nice, but as with my theme today, I cant stop crying. I bought the ebook codependant no more and will dive into it in a little while. I can't find the one by Tobi Rice Drews. Is it sold as an ebook? When I got home, my husband was drinking. H...

searching4peace · searching4peace

And desperately needing so support and direction. I collect alcoholics and addicts the way some people collect baseball cards. Or so it seems. I'll spare you the list. It's extensive. My husband is an alcoholic. Trying to control his drinking I stumbled apon alanon years ago and made it to a few o...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I was responding to another post when this thought came to me - maybe I'm the only one doing it, maybe others do it too. Do you tell others the truth about what is going on in your life? I don't mean telling people you're going through hard times but actually naming the trouble and talking openly about wh...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I can understand accepting things that may not be as I want them. But we are also told not to accept the unacceptable. What do you do with the unaccpetable?

xosarahox · xosarahox

I am so frusturated right now with my ab. We've just hit our one year mark and he has 7 months sober. I've never met anyone as selfish as he is. It's like a completely seperate entity from his addiction or sobriety or anything else. I don't understand how he can always put himself first or do or say or buy th...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I know I have mentioned before that my AH is working several hundred miles away. He makes it home, generally, about one weekend a month. Honestly, the arrangement is tough, but it makes it much easier for me to detach from a lot of his behavior because I don't deal with him face-to-face on a daily basis...

Steph444 · Steph444

Hi everyone. My name is Stephanie and I stumbled upon this website by accident. I've been having a tough with my husband. Well, I believe he's been replaced by someone else. He makes my head spin. My car has needed an inspection sticker since the end of January. Well, last week he said he would take it , he...

John · John

Hello Everyone, At the request of numerous members of MIP I have started to put together all the web site related fixin's of a Codependents Anonymous Group on the MIP 12 Step Recovery Forums site. You can access the CODA home page from our main home page at http://www.12stepforums.net or directly at...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi all, thought it was about time I made a gratitude list, so here it is. Enjoy. I am grateful for: Many supportive friends and family who I know I can count on and who have often surprised me with their support, generosity, and kindness.An amazing 11 year old daughter who makes me want to be a better perso...

alexmaui · alexmaui

How far does detachment go? My F2F meeting is Friday and no other meeting is nearby. My AH has been actively drinking since Christmas. I moved out...but a mortgage payment on our house is due today. He is SUPPOSED to pay it. But he has been too drunk to make a deposit to cover the payment. I don'thave acces...

Honeypie · Honeypie

I am making progress in how I am allowing this disease to affect me. My A bf is still using and is in total denial. I think he is very confused. He did not believe and tested me on Saturday. He called stating he was not drinking and could he come over to spend time with me and my kids. I went to get him and once I g...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

Things have been pretty stable with my brother lately. I got a call at 4am this morning from him wanting to talk because he was lonely. He sounded pretty intoxicated with slurred speech. I told him to stop drinking for the night, and go to bed, and I would talk as much as he need to day, but not at 4am with him...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Today's reminder in ODAT: "My problem is me." That's a tough one to remember, but a lesson I need to learn. This morning my AH was overly harsh to our DS for slamming a kitchen cabinet. AH grabbed DS by the collar and got in his face. In a quiet moment when our DS was not in the room I calmly said t...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

In 1995 my younger brother was arrested and sentenced to 22 years in prison. It took him 5 years in prison before he admitted he was an addicted and got help. Luckily he was released early after serving 13 years. He was also lucky in that when he was released, he didn't have to stay in the same state whe...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Hi everyone...back after a hiatus....things have been "stable" for a while and I got real busy with work, hobbies and other distractions. I'm still struggling but not as depressed as i was. Even able to learn a bit about happiness and how to attain it but I'm so frustrated right now...an...

Debilyn · Debilyn

thank you all for being there during one of the very hardest times of my life. Today I woke up wanting out of here. I want to go "home." My time is done here now. I feel the energy of wanting to pack up and go. Feel me coming back. I watched a movie,"My life as a House." The guy, Kevin Klin...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I recieved a phone call from my exah yesterday, he has been released after some delay of paperwork or something. And when I answered the phone I did not recognise his voice and felt not really anything when I found out who it was. No fear, no anger, no blame, no love, no like, no dislike ... just pretty much...

Rora · Rora

Hello everyone. Over the past few months I've popped in and out of here, which is a direct reflection of how my life has been since October. In October my Mom was admitted to the hospital for a tumour in her neck. She fought a long and hard battle enduring a litany of side effects to surgeries gone bad. ...

clep · clep

On the 21st my dad died and I was so happy that he is no longer on this earth torturing himself or anyone else. I felt guilty for being so happy. My whole family is so emotionally sick and dysfunctional and it is so hard to see them that way. My one sister has been staying with me since the death of her daught...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi folks, I know I have been away for a while, but that does not mean that I have not been thinking and praying for you. It simply means that I have been really busy and working hard on my recovery and the following has really helped me. So, I am sharing it with you and hoping that it will help you as much as i...

pineapple · pineapple

Ah was out of town for two weeks and I kind of got out of practice. He made it almost a week back home without drinking. But he woke me up this morning at 7:00 am and was already drunk. My first reaction was to say something sarcastic (which in itself is progress, a year ago I would have started yelling)...b...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

I knew this was going to be hard...I get that, I do...but how much am I to take? He - explodes today on one of the kids. I - calmly ask him to not "go to the mat on this" particular argument...the child in question is having a hard time already...etc...be the adult..etc, etc. He - explodes loud...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I delivered the two pots Boo and Dickens to their new home. It was so nice there. Every animal is beautiful and happy. I was so impressed. The pigs were not upset at all. I will mention I almost had a heart attack getting Boo in the car. Scared the pants off me. Trying to push a 250 pound pig into your back seat...

Vickif · Vickif

Hi all. I have been at my parents house for a week now, and have been doing fine. Until today. I haven't spoken to my A very much. Again, until today...he was telling me that I need to get my stuff out of our house. I lost it and started crying. He said that our relationship has been bad for many years. That cau...

Overcome · Overcome

Aloha posted this very same subject title January 23rd. It has been on my mind ever since. I posted a reply to one of the shares on that thread: sdisnie wrote: As for being attracted to the bad boy.....that's something that is very very hard to overcome....we can't always help who we are attracted too,...

liljeannie · liljeannie

My abf of almost 9yrs and I recently separated. My choice. I had started moving forward with my life, got a second job, reached out to friends and began working my program from the beginning. Then panic set in. I lost my second job, started drowning in my pity pool and begged him to come home. He &quo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, thought I would come and share. I have behaved really unacceptably towards my sober ABF. I did a self esteem course and it brought up all my ingrained beliefs and my sickness (co dependency). A lady was questioning my beliefs that I have to be strong, fix it, basically do every thing its a...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Do you walk on eggshells? Check. Are you afraid of confrontation? Check. Do you make wrong decisions? Check. Do you tell white lies to avoid anger? Check. Are you often angry with yourself for letting others get their way? Check. Do you blame yourself for everything? Checkbut been working on this and...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

and what a week it has been! birthdays to remember, time well spent, seeing people I love, enjoying (not really) cold temps. realizing that winter is still here! Want SPRING so bad! What a joy that my week has been even though I didn't attend my meetings--I am suffering for that in a way! I need to attend...

ClippedWings · ClippedWings

Today is the first time I've REALIZED I'm broken. I spent 13 years trying to "fix" my AH. Defending him relentlessly, standing tirelessly by his side while enduring sleepless nights and a neverending supply of worries. Playing the Strong and Responsible parent from our first born, thr...

Honeypie · Honeypie

A bf went on a bender last night. The reason I know this is when he called he was very loud and slurring his words. Then I received hang ups because he can't see the phone to dial properly and lastly received a drunken message in the middle of the night. Now I know this is not my fault, I didn't make him drink a...

Sunset · Sunset

This is my first time posting here..I don't really know where to begin ..all i know is that i need alanon & acoa because my life is unmanageable and has been for a very long time. Today after the alanon mtg here i feel hopeful again that i can get better. I never looked at self-pity like an addiction u...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Wanted to share my horrible evening last night and get some of your shared experiences on the matter.I didn't go to work yesterday. My mom called my cell at 2:30, I didnt answer as I didnt feel like lying and pretending I was at work and risk her driving by and seeing my car at home. (My parents live on the st...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

41 years ago today I was blessed w/ a baby sis! I guess I have always loved her & felt close to her in a way but lately on FB I have got to know her personality in a way I have never seen. I feel a connection to her but feel she is not close as I wish she were. I know she tries to be understanding & helpful but...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

This is totally unrelated to my marriage and not something that I'm dealing with, but my sister is. Are there message boards like this for people who are married to someone who is addicted to porn and other things of that nature? My sis and I talked about our marriages in detail today and she confessed...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I knew I knew I was better when my two little dogs woke me from my nap wrestling on my head...and I laughed. (c: There is no question my body is responding to the meds. and resting. You guys helped me again to find me. This was one of the worst times of my life. The numbness is going away, anxiety is pretty much...

likemyheart · likemyheart

It's snowing outside. I was driving home and listening to Josh Groban's "Let Me Fall" - had it on repeat so I could just let the meloncholy melody continue to wash over me. At first I was thinking it is what my AH needs - to surrender, stop fighting - stop denying the truth of his disease and l...

Jerry F · Jerry F

found myself outside of the box this morning and decided Aaaaay fantastic I can do this...I can fit in and no one will know. Then I was in trouble again. Practiced making apologies; several of them; first one to my spouse and then to a stranger and then to my self and then to my HP. Sometimes it's okay t...

Aloha · Aloha

I attended another meeting I don't normally attend on Friday night. It was actually an open AA meeting but with open Al-Anon participation. One of my double-winner friends started it and is calling it a Common Ground meeting. I think it's a fantastic idea, personally. Don't know how it gets listed in...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

I am trying, I really am, to let go and let God. I am powerless and I cannot control or cure any of it. It's just sad though isn't it? You know someone literally half your life and now the lies just come so easy. Want to shake him and snap him out of it - but I know it won't do any good. Someone said "if t...

Honeypie · Honeypie

I went to a f2f meeting on Saturday. I was nervous never having been to any kind of meeting like that before in my life. Everyone was very friendly and they didn't push which I was worried they would. It was so good to meet people who have had the same kinds of experiences. I am going to go back next week. It re...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I have found that forgiving creates peace within myself and more time to focus on myself. I have confusion though with anger I can still feel over things I feel I have truly forgiven, is my anger residual resentment or not forgiving? And there is still so much to forgive. I am scared to forgive everyth...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

Sadly my wife has relapsed and had a three day binge. I am doing better in detaching and while I still feel very sad for her and concern for my kids I don't have that catastrophic world hanging in the balance on my every decision feeling. I feel a sense of balance so I really have to thank Al-anon and in par...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

Good morning all. I have a question regarding the whole spectrum of "self". I have been coming here for quite some time now. I attend F2F weekly. I have been working hard on the steps and trying to change aspects of my life so I can hopefully, one day, be well or as close to it as I can be. In a...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I hope I can convey in words what I was discussing with my addictions counselor today. When discussing the control issue of my AH's drinking, she told me that I should put down my foot. She told me to tell my AH that I can't have him drinking anymore. That it is detrimental to my mental health and to our m...

Faerydae · Faerydae

New here... hi everyone! I have a question for anyone who could offer advice on how to help a friend. My friend feels that she and her husband cannot leave their adult son at home alone because he will drink. He is an alcoholic but refuses to seek treatment or go to AA. My husband and I think they should kick...

Evian · Evian

AH informs me last night that he's been analyzing himself... and that he in fact (lol) is not an alcoholic... that he doesn't suffer from it, that he believes he suffers from OCD.. He tells me that he hates my new hair cut, tells me I don't look good with it, which whatever... I like it, that's all that ma...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife and I are both actively working our programs--me Al Anon, her AA. And we are seeing the same therapist individually who is helping us deal with lifelong issues from our past that are holding us back. It's an overwhelming process and there are times when I feel myself thinking "I really rea...

whispa · whispa

hi all, my partner of nearly 12 years is (was) a drinker he has been sober 20 days today and is going to AA. we have been through it all before but im hopefull that this time it works as i love him to bits. the problem is me, i feel like i want to smash things up and screem and shout. i can be watching tv, be in the pa...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Okay the reality is we got poked by the crumby economy this first half of the month and we don't have any power over it. My spouse is distraught by it and outwardly looks bad...like it's frightenly out of control. It is out of our control and we have learned things to do about it rather than to worry and co...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I moved out ...My AH is having a hard time excepting that i'm gone. His drinking and pill taking seem to have gone out of control...Now he wants to come to MY house to "see the cat"...I feel bad..so bad. He's lost, out of control and has no one else. No family or friends....Is this setting a boun...

Screaming Barbie · Screaming Barbie

I am posting daily thoughts and such on a page about recovery-type things. This is for Al-Anon and AA people. I am looking for stories or tales about how people sometimes seek revenge but end up hurting themselves more than the person they were wanting to hurt. Or any other topic such as Letting Go and O...

roxygirl · roxygirl

I'm confused, please help me understand. Why do people who are an Al-anon member, do the 12 step program? I thought it was just for the addict? Please forgive my ignorance. Thanks, Roxygirl

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

38 years ago I was blessed w/ a very loving & special brother! I often feel a connection to him that may not always be healthy because maybe I love him too much. One time I told him I loved him & missed him & he said Ahh! I felt so sad that he didn't say it back--it hurt it really did but maybe he jus...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi my sober ABf is in Aa a newcomer asked if he would get me to ring his wife as she was going to attend her first meeting and was a bit nervous. I rang and we had a little chat she is going to a meeting tonight, I said its not my regular meeting but would meet her there if it would help. they say in al anon let it be...

jocelgp · jocelgp

my husband has not had a drink for 3 weeks now, that's according to him for i have stopped tracking. last night he told me he's only going to have a few bottles of beer with friends, of course that's to get my "approval". i don't really care if he drinks or not, i am trying to condition myself no...

xeno59 · xeno59

I have been down with the cold/flu bug Should I be late ( as my sleep is erratic) I am hoping someone will step up to chair. Thanks for your understanding Blessings xeno

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, I haven't been as active on hear in a while but I have been lurking daily and randomly replying just cant seem to find energy to do much anymore other than that which I have to do which I feel Is way too much to handle but I know its not (or didnt used to be) it's just how I feel as a result of how my lif...

dani2304 · dani2304

I am in a relationship going on 4 yrs. I was living with my boyfriend with him n my 3 kids from a previous marriage. he loved the like his own and was great to them. He has a pretty bad drinking problem. its not an every day thing, but when he drinks it cant be just a few, it turns to 15 or more beers n he becomes cr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I am so passive aggressive. (Preview) Seriously. I have been reading all over the board and going through my alanon literature all day and I realize that I am being crazy. I am actually acting like an insane person. I want something. I don't ask for it. I hint, imply, pout, sulk, manipulate, threaten, coerce and even lie. But I don't j...	searching4peace	7	486	Mar 3, 2011 by Aloha
	First Alanon Meeting Tonight (Preview) Well, I went to most of an alanon meeting tonight. Everyone was very nice, but as with my theme today, I cant stop crying. I bought the ebook codependant no more and will dive into it in a little while. I can't find the one by Tobi Rice Drews. Is it sold as an ebook? When I got home, my husband was drinking. H...	Steph444	5	621	Mar 2, 2011 by likemyheart
	New here (Preview) And desperately needing so support and direction. I collect alcoholics and addicts the way some people collect baseball cards. Or so it seems. I'll spare you the list. It's extensive. My husband is an alcoholic. Trying to control his drinking I stumbled apon alanon years ago and made it to a few o...	searching4peace	7	407	Mar 2, 2011 by searching4peace
	Telling Others (Preview) I was responding to another post when this thought came to me - maybe I'm the only one doing it, maybe others do it too. Do you tell others the truth about what is going on in your life? I don't mean telling people you're going through hard times but actually naming the trouble and talking openly about wh...	likemyheart	4	1000	Mar 2, 2011 by ythannah
	Acceptance and the unacceptable.... (Preview) I can understand accepting things that may not be as I want them. But we are also told not to accept the unacceptable. What do you do with the unaccpetable?	mjhyankees	6	737	Mar 2, 2011 by Aloha
	So Selfish (Preview) I am so frusturated right now with my ab. We've just hit our one year mark and he has 7 months sober. I've never met anyone as selfish as he is. It's like a completely seperate entity from his addiction or sobriety or anything else. I don't understand how he can always put himself first or do or say or buy th...	xosarahox	3	842	Mar 2, 2011 by pinkchip
	Taking Positive Steps (Preview) I know I have mentioned before that my AH is working several hundred miles away. He makes it home, generally, about one weekend a month. Honestly, the arrangement is tough, but it makes it much easier for me to detach from a lot of his behavior because I don't deal with him face-to-face on a daily basis...	stephaniej	1	497	Mar 2, 2011 by pineapple
	Hi Everyone (Preview) Hi everyone. My name is Stephanie and I stumbled upon this website by accident. I've been having a tough with my husband. Well, I believe he's been replaced by someone else. He makes my head spin. My car has needed an inspection sticker since the end of January. Well, last week he said he would take it , he...	Steph444	5	741	Mar 2, 2011 by Jerry F
	Codependents Anonymous Group Started on MIP Today! (Preview) Hello Everyone, At the request of numerous members of MIP I have started to put together all the web site related fixin's of a Codependents Anonymous Group on the MIP 12 Step Recovery Forums site. You can access the CODA home page from our main home page at http://www.12stepforums.net or directly at...	John	0	518	Mar 2, 2011 by John
	My Gratitude List (Preview) Hi all, thought it was about time I made a gratitude list, so here it is. Enjoy. I am grateful for: Many supportive friends and family who I know I can count on and who have often surprised me with their support, generosity, and kindness.An amazing 11 year old daughter who makes me want to be a better perso...	danielle0516	6	3644	Mar 1, 2011 by xosarahox
	How far does this go (Preview) How far does detachment go? My F2F meeting is Friday and no other meeting is nearby. My AH has been actively drinking since Christmas. I moved out...but a mortgage payment on our house is due today. He is SUPPOSED to pay it. But he has been too drunk to make a deposit to cover the payment. I don'thave acces...	alexmaui	5	644	Mar 1, 2011 by likemyheart
	I am making progress (Preview) I am making progress in how I am allowing this disease to affect me. My A bf is still using and is in total denial. I think he is very confused. He did not believe and tested me on Saturday. He called stating he was not drinking and could he come over to spend time with me and my kids. I went to get him and once I g...	Honeypie	8	1079	Mar 1, 2011 by Honeypie
	Did I handle it correctly? (Preview) Things have been pretty stable with my brother lately. I got a call at 4am this morning from him wanting to talk because he was lonely. He sounded pretty intoxicated with slurred speech. I told him to stop drinking for the night, and go to bed, and I would talk as much as he need to day, but not at 4am with him...	NCSUgeology	3	768	Mar 1, 2011 by abbyal
	"My problem is me" (Preview) Today's reminder in ODAT: "My problem is me." That's a tough one to remember, but a lesson I need to learn. This morning my AH was overly harsh to our DS for slamming a kitchen cabinet. AH grabbed DS by the collar and got in his face. In a quiet moment when our DS was not in the room I calmly said t...	Very Very Tired	7	1131	Mar 1, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	Just need to vent about this disease (Preview) In 1995 my younger brother was arrested and sentenced to 22 years in prison. It took him 5 years in prison before he admitted he was an addicted and got help. Luckily he was released early after serving 13 years. He was also lucky in that when he was released, he didn't have to stay in the same state whe...	N8SMOM	5	867	Mar 1, 2011 by NCSUgeology
	Wife did it again....... (Preview) Hi everyone...back after a hiatus....things have been "stable" for a while and I got real busy with work, hobbies and other distractions. I'm still struggling but not as depressed as i was. Even able to learn a bit about happiness and how to attain it but I'm so frustrated right now...an...	mjhyankees	7	934	Mar 1, 2011 by danielle0516
	Relief and gratefulness (Preview) thank you all for being there during one of the very hardest times of my life. Today I woke up wanting out of here. I want to go "home." My time is done here now. I feel the energy of wanting to pack up and go. Feel me coming back. I watched a movie,"My life as a House." The guy, Kevin Klin...	Debilyn	4	725	Mar 1, 2011 by danielle0516
	My reaction surprised me (Preview) I recieved a phone call from my exah yesterday, he has been released after some delay of paperwork or something. And when I answered the phone I did not recognise his voice and felt not really anything when I found out who it was. No fear, no anger, no blame, no love, no like, no dislike ... just pretty much...	Jennifer	5	871	Feb 28, 2011 by danielle0516
	...a bit about where I've been...off topic a bit.... (Preview) Hello everyone. Over the past few months I've popped in and out of here, which is a direct reflection of how my life has been since October. In October my Mom was admitted to the hospital for a tumour in her neck. She fought a long and hard battle enduring a litany of side effects to surgeries gone bad. ...	Rora	10	935	Feb 28, 2011 by danielle0516
	My dad died (Preview) On the 21st my dad died and I was so happy that he is no longer on this earth torturing himself or anyone else. I felt guilty for being so happy. My whole family is so emotionally sick and dysfunctional and it is so hard to see them that way. My one sister has been staying with me since the death of her daught...	clep	13	1008	Feb 28, 2011 by Karilynn
	Just dropping by with a POSITIVE THOUGHT... (Preview) Hi folks, I know I have been away for a while, but that does not mean that I have not been thinking and praying for you. It simply means that I have been really busy and working hard on my recovery and the following has really helped me. So, I am sharing it with you and hoping that it will help you as much as i...	Suzannah	5	1042	Feb 28, 2011 by Debilyn
	Don't react, one day at a time (Preview) Ah was out of town for two weeks and I kind of got out of practice. He made it almost a week back home without drinking. But he woke me up this morning at 7:00 am and was already drunk. My first reaction was to say something sarcastic (which in itself is progress, a year ago I would have started yelling)...b...	pineapple	5	846	Feb 28, 2011 by Debilyn
	I hold a boundary...he explodes... (Preview) I knew this was going to be hard...I get that, I do...but how much am I to take? He - explodes today on one of the kids. I - calmly ask him to not "go to the mat on this" particular argument...the child in question is having a hard time already...etc...be the adult..etc, etc. He - explodes loud...	newleaf66	5	1041	Feb 27, 2011 by mjhyankees
	Such a tough one (Preview) I delivered the two pots Boo and Dickens to their new home. It was so nice there. Every animal is beautiful and happy. I was so impressed. The pigs were not upset at all. I will mention I almost had a heart attack getting Boo in the car. Scared the pants off me. Trying to push a 250 pound pig into your back seat...	Debilyn	13	738	Feb 27, 2011 by Debilyn
	Confused today (Preview) Hi all. I have been at my parents house for a week now, and have been doing fine. Until today. I haven't spoken to my A very much. Again, until today...he was telling me that I need to get my stuff out of our house. I lost it and started crying. He said that our relationship has been bad for many years. That cau...	Vickif	8	662	Feb 27, 2011 by abbyal
	Still drawn to the "bad boys" (Preview) Aloha posted this very same subject title January 23rd. It has been on my mind ever since. I posted a reply to one of the shares on that thread: sdisnie wrote: As for being attracted to the bad boy.....that's something that is very very hard to overcome....we can't always help who we are attracted too,...	Overcome	17	1044	Feb 27, 2011 by ythannah
	Heartstrings and other things,need ESH (Preview) My abf of almost 9yrs and I recently separated. My choice. I had started moving forward with my life, got a second job, reached out to friends and began working my program from the beginning. Then panic set in. I lost my second job, started drowning in my pity pool and begged him to come home. He &quo...	liljeannie	5	746	Feb 26, 2011 by danielle0516
	own unacceptable behaviour (Preview) Hi everyone, thought I would come and share. I have behaved really unacceptably towards my sober ABF. I did a self esteem course and it brought up all my ingrained beliefs and my sickness (co dependency). A lady was questioning my beliefs that I have to be strong, fix it, basically do every thing its a...	Tracy	3	1090	Feb 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	Top 10 ways to identify CoDependency. ok ok so I'm CoDependent!! (Preview) Do you walk on eggshells? Check. Are you afraid of confrontation? Check. Do you make wrong decisions? Check. Do you tell white lies to avoid anger? Check. Are you often angry with yourself for letting others get their way? Check. Do you blame yourself for everything? Checkbut been working on this and...	danielle0516	12	2193	Feb 26, 2011 by danielle0516
	reflecting on my week... (Preview) and what a week it has been! birthdays to remember, time well spent, seeing people I love, enjoying (not really) cold temps. realizing that winter is still here! Want SPRING so bad! What a joy that my week has been even though I didn't attend my meetings--I am suffering for that in a way! I need to attend...	Hoot Nanny	2	617	Feb 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	Desperately seeking myself ~ I miss me! Please Help... (Preview) Today is the first time I've REALIZED I'm broken. I spent 13 years trying to "fix" my AH. Defending him relentlessly, standing tirelessly by his side while enduring sleepless nights and a neverending supply of worries. Playing the Strong and Responsible parent from our first born, thr...	ClippedWings	10	876	Feb 26, 2011 by Kona
	He went on a bender----need advice please (Preview) A bf went on a bender last night. The reason I know this is when he called he was very loud and slurring his words. Then I received hang ups because he can't see the phone to dial properly and lastly received a drunken message in the middle of the night. Now I know this is not my fault, I didn't make him drink a...	Honeypie	13	1263	Feb 25, 2011 by Bettina
	NEw (Preview) This is my first time posting here..I don't really know where to begin ..all i know is that i need alanon & acoa because my life is unmanageable and has been for a very long time. Today after the alanon mtg here i feel hopeful again that i can get better. I never looked at self-pity like an addiction u...	Sunset	3	666	Feb 25, 2011 by hotrod
	Issues with my Mom, bad night, looking for experience with this.... (Preview) Wanted to share my horrible evening last night and get some of your shared experiences on the matter.I didn't go to work yesterday. My mom called my cell at 2:30, I didnt answer as I didnt feel like lying and pretending I was at work and risk her driving by and seeing my car at home. (My parents live on the st...	danielle0516	14	975	Feb 25, 2011 by danielle0516
	now on to my sister! (Preview) 41 years ago today I was blessed w/ a baby sis! I guess I have always loved her & felt close to her in a way but lately on FB I have got to know her personality in a way I have never seen. I feel a connection to her but feel she is not close as I wish she were. I know she tries to be understanding & helpful but...	Hoot Nanny	1	689	Feb 25, 2011 by Debilyn
	Problems with porn (Preview) This is totally unrelated to my marriage and not something that I'm dealing with, but my sister is. Are there message boards like this for people who are married to someone who is addicted to porn and other things of that nature? My sis and I talked about our marriages in detail today and she confessed...	ilovedogs	9	2196	Feb 25, 2011 by likemyheart
	OUT of the pit! (Preview) I knew I knew I was better when my two little dogs woke me from my nap wrestling on my head...and I laughed. (c: There is no question my body is responding to the meds. and resting. You guys helped me again to find me. This was one of the worst times of my life. The numbness is going away, anxiety is pretty much...	Debilyn	7	432	Feb 25, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Let Me Fall (Preview) It's snowing outside. I was driving home and listening to Josh Groban's "Let Me Fall" - had it on repeat so I could just let the meloncholy melody continue to wash over me. At first I was thinking it is what my AH needs - to surrender, stop fighting - stop denying the truth of his disease and l...	likemyheart	5	699	Feb 25, 2011 by hotrod
	Found the flap open so (Preview) found myself outside of the box this morning and decided Aaaaay fantastic I can do this...I can fit in and no one will know. Then I was in trouble again. Practiced making apologies; several of them; first one to my spouse and then to a stranger and then to my self and then to my HP. Sometimes it's okay t...	Jerry F	14	481	Feb 25, 2011 by hotrod
	Still drawn to the "bad boys" (Preview) I attended another meeting I don't normally attend on Friday night. It was actually an open AA meeting but with open Al-Anon participation. One of my double-winner friends started it and is calling it a Common Ground meeting. I think it's a fantastic idea, personally. Don't know how it gets listed in...	Aloha	10	804	Feb 25, 2011 by Overcome
	detaching but the lies still sting... (Preview) I am trying, I really am, to let go and let God. I am powerless and I cannot control or cure any of it. It's just sad though isn't it? You know someone literally half your life and now the lies just come so easy. Want to shake him and snap him out of it - but I know it won't do any good. Someone said "if t...	newleaf66	7	994	Feb 24, 2011 by newleaf66
	Feeling so much better (Preview) I went to a f2f meeting on Saturday. I was nervous never having been to any kind of meeting like that before in my life. Everyone was very friendly and they didn't push which I was worried they would. It was so good to meet people who have had the same kinds of experiences. I am going to go back next week. It re...	Honeypie	7	804	Feb 24, 2011 by DreamXL
	inner conflict over forgiveness (Preview) I have found that forgiving creates peace within myself and more time to focus on myself. I have confusion though with anger I can still feel over things I feel I have truly forgiven, is my anger residual resentment or not forgiving? And there is still so much to forgive. I am scared to forgive everyth...	Jennifer	9	1398	Feb 24, 2011 by Peggy7
	relapse childcare concerns (Preview) Sadly my wife has relapsed and had a three day binge. I am doing better in detaching and while I still feel very sad for her and concern for my kids I don't have that catastrophic world hanging in the balance on my every decision feeling. I feel a sense of balance so I really have to thank Al-anon and in par...	DadtoCandE	4	687	Feb 24, 2011 by Peggy7
	self analysis (Preview) Good morning all. I have a question regarding the whole spectrum of "self". I have been coming here for quite some time now. I attend F2F weekly. I have been working hard on the steps and trying to change aspects of my life so I can hopefully, one day, be well or as close to it as I can be. In a...	Sweet Stanley	8	749	Feb 24, 2011 by hotrod
	My new counselor has me confused (Preview) I hope I can convey in words what I was discussing with my addictions counselor today. When discussing the control issue of my AH's drinking, she told me that I should put down my foot. She told me to tell my AH that I can't have him drinking anymore. That it is detrimental to my mental health and to our m...	ilovedogs	18	860	Feb 24, 2011 by Rhivenn
	Advising a friend... (Preview) New here... hi everyone! I have a question for anyone who could offer advice on how to help a friend. My friend feels that she and her husband cannot leave their adult son at home alone because he will drink. He is an alcoholic but refuses to seek treatment or go to AA. My husband and I think they should kick...	Faerydae	10	949	Feb 23, 2011 by hotrod
	OH MY!!! The insanity! (Preview) AH informs me last night that he's been analyzing himself... and that he in fact (lol) is not an alcoholic... that he doesn't suffer from it, that he believes he suffers from OCD.. He tells me that he hates my new hair cut, tells me I don't look good with it, which whatever... I like it, that's all that ma...	Evian	4	579	Feb 23, 2011 by danielle0516
	Becoming new people... (Preview) My wife and I are both actively working our programs--me Al Anon, her AA. And we are seeing the same therapist individually who is helping us deal with lifelong issues from our past that are holding us back. It's an overwhelming process and there are times when I feel myself thinking "I really rea...	usedtobeanyer	5	740	Feb 23, 2011 by usedtobeanyer
	about to explode.... (Preview) hi all, my partner of nearly 12 years is (was) a drinker he has been sober 20 days today and is going to AA. we have been through it all before but im hopefull that this time it works as i love him to bits. the problem is me, i feel like i want to smash things up and screem and shout. i can be watching tv, be in the pa...	whispa	6	460	Feb 23, 2011 by whispa
	Powerless and grateful for it... (Preview) Okay the reality is we got poked by the crumby economy this first half of the month and we don't have any power over it. My spouse is distraught by it and outwardly looks bad...like it's frightenly out of control. It is out of our control and we have learned things to do about it rather than to worry and co...	Jerry F	1	687	Feb 23, 2011 by Jennifer
	Where are the boundaries? (Preview) I moved out ...My AH is having a hard time excepting that i'm gone. His drinking and pill taking seem to have gone out of control...Now he wants to come to MY house to "see the cat"...I feel bad..so bad. He's lost, out of control and has no one else. No family or friends....Is this setting a boun...	alexmaui	5	875	Feb 22, 2011 by pinkchip
	Looking for Stories or Parables applicable to those in recovery. (closed) (Preview) I am posting daily thoughts and such on a page about recovery-type things. This is for Al-Anon and AA people. I am looking for stories or tales about how people sometimes seek revenge but end up hurting themselves more than the person they were wanting to hurt. Or any other topic such as Letting Go and O...	Screaming Barbie	5	1585	Feb 22, 2011 by Peggy7
	Question? (Preview) I'm confused, please help me understand. Why do people who are an Al-anon member, do the 12 step program? I thought it was just for the addict? Please forgive my ignorance. Thanks, Roxygirl	roxygirl	6	688	Feb 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	this is my bro.s day! (Preview) 38 years ago I was blessed w/ a very loving & special brother! I often feel a connection to him that may not always be healthy because maybe I love him too much. One time I told him I loved him & missed him & he said Ahh! I felt so sad that he didn't say it back--it hurt it really did but maybe he jus...	Hoot Nanny	1	557	Feb 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	supporting new comers (Preview) Hi my sober ABf is in Aa a newcomer asked if he would get me to ring his wife as she was going to attend her first meeting and was a bit nervous. I rang and we had a little chat she is going to a meeting tonight, I said its not my regular meeting but would meet her there if it would help. they say in al anon let it be...	Tracy	5	685	Feb 22, 2011 by Tracy
	tried to detach & focus on myself but he makes life difficult for me (Preview) my husband has not had a drink for 3 weeks now, that's according to him for i have stopped tracking. last night he told me he's only going to have a few bottles of beer with friends, of course that's to get my "approval". i don't really care if he drinks or not, i am trying to condition myself no...	jocelgp	4	799	Feb 22, 2011 by Bettina
	Tuesday am meeting 2/23 (Preview) I have been down with the cold/flu bug Should I be late ( as my sleep is erratic) I am hoping someone will step up to chair. Thanks for your understanding Blessings xeno	xeno59	0	390	Feb 22, 2011 by xeno59
	My update (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't been as active on hear in a while but I have been lurking daily and randomly replying just cant seem to find energy to do much anymore other than that which I have to do which I feel Is way too much to handle but I know its not (or didnt used to be) it's just how I feel as a result of how my lif...	danielle0516	5	716	Feb 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	Just need an ear to listen to me... advice lended ear support (Preview) I am in a relationship going on 4 yrs. I was living with my boyfriend with him n my 3 kids from a previous marriage. he loved the like his own and was great to them. He has a pretty bad drinking problem. its not an every day thing, but when he drinks it cant be just a few, it turns to 15 or more beers n he becomes cr...	dani2304	5	6041	Feb 21, 2011 by EstellineGirl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.