Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

likemyheart · likemyheart

My AH is extremely jealous of any male person I have any contact with - i find myself justifying the need to talk with whomever it is (and getting angrier about having to justify my right to talk to whomever i please as time goes by) so I'm wondering, does intense jealousy go in hand with the alcohol abuse o...

searching4peace · searching4peace

I got into a huge argument with my Dad on the phone this morning. Yelling and interupting each other. It wasn't full of profanity or anything like that. But certainly it was ridiculous. I realized about 20 minutes into it that I had completely missed the mark. D'oh! Old habits are hard to break. I...

seb308 · seb308

Im new to Al-Anon even though the A in my life is now sober. I wish I would have gotten help when he was actively drinking, but at the time I didnt feel worthy of help because he is just my boyfriend, and felt like it was easy for me to leave as opposed to ones who are married to an A, or has a parent who is. I kind of...

grammie · grammie

Hello MIP family, I will be unable to chair the 9pm meeting tonight, 3/7/11 I am sorry to have waited so long to ask for help, I'm not feeling well and would really feel better knowing someone will chair tonight. Many thanks in advance to who ever steps up to do service, Bless you..hope you have a wonderfu...

oscarmom · oscarmom

One too many" when we were married, just you and me life was so happy, fun and carefree we were just 2, but soon I would see that little by little 2 became 3 the third was the booze, starting off slow and over the years began to grow poured out the bottles when you were drinking and then wondered wha...

RachelW · RachelW

1. I signed up to chair a meeting in April. What exactly do I do? Is it just reading through the preamble and such, or do I need to prepare anything? 2. Where can I buy the ODAT, Courage to Change, or AA "Big Book" books? I see them on Amazon but I'd like to support local Al-Anon meetings through my...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I had to have a conversation with my MIL last week and even though I am divorcing her son, I still have to pick up my 2 year old from her 1 day a week. She lied to me about something little and I knew it right away, I can't figure out why and never will. She has undermined me with my husband and kids for years an...

searching4peace · searching4peace

We made a spur of the moment quick trip home for the weekend. My father in law is not doing well and I really wanted a chance to see him, and for our kids to see him, one more time. He is an alcoholic. He has been drinking heavily for over 35 years. And he is going down hill quickly. His kidneys are shuttin...

Evian · Evian

he's getting worried... or so he says. I have been going to my counselling sessions, going to my Al-Anon meetings... working on me. I cut and coloured my hair, just got a new job (ok, it may only be at McDonald's, but it's a job... I can't be picky), and just in general... feeling good, and feeling happy, d...

Loubelou · Loubelou

Hi everyone, I went to my first Al Anon meeting on Thursday night, and I'm so glad I did. I feel a bit all over the place. I even feel I don't really have the right to be at Al Anon or on these boards, as it's only my boyfriend and we haven't been together that long - just under a year. I'm not sure of the rules here...

Honeypie · Honeypie

After a long debate with myself, I went to see my A bf after work today. I miss the person, not the alcohol. I knew it would be hard to see him, that he would try to manipulate me to accept his drinking, but I decided to visit him hoping I would catch him in a sober state. A bf was fairly sober saying he missed me a...

jackgeo · jackgeo

what exactly is co-dependency?

searching4peace · searching4peace

Made it to my F2F tonight. First one in three years. And it was really hard to walk in there. Why? I don't know. I'm going to have to do some searching and see what it was that upset me so much. I walked in and before I could even hear what was being said I was in tears. Maybe some of it was relief. Just to...

Honeypie · Honeypie

Well, I am very proud of myself. I stuck to my boundaries all weekend and did not give in to the numerous phone calls and text messages I received from A bf throughout the weekend. I kept myself busy focusing on things I wanted to do and I actually did them. No compromise, no putting them on hold. Just me for...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

For the first time in my life I am feeling renewed. I found Al-Anon around the beginning of the year and at that time my life was completly upside down! I had been seperated from my husband since April and I was so tired of his drinking I could not focus. Today I am waiting the 120 days until our divorce will...

Honeypie · Honeypie

Forgive me if this is long. I have been struggling the last few days. Yesterday was an eye-opener for me. I took 2 steps forward, one big step back and today feel like I just made a huge step forward. I talked to A bf's friend who is an active member in recovery in AA. I told her what has been happening with A bf...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

So...my AH hasn't been to work in a month. He was on sick leave from June to November. Went back to work in December and January...and here we are again. He is still undergoing withdrawal from clonazepam (prescription). He can not get a doctor to help him any more. His own doctor told him not to come back....

RLC · RLC

When I got up this morning at 6:15 am to take my Labs out I noticed the power was off in our house. At 7:30 my wife called the power company and they arrived a few minutes later to see what the problem was. My wife went out when the power person arrived. Shortly after she came back in crying and telling me someo...

peppurr · peppurr

My husband as an alcoholic. He died a year ago. My 24 yr old daughter has become my husband. I don't think I can go through this again.

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I had a tenuous grip on this to begin with and again feel like there isn't any. Yes there are things in my life to be grateful for but for every one of them there's and equal and opposite problem. I'm no good with denial...it would be great to pretend that everything is ok and go tip toeing through the tuli...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Well, maybe my title isn't quite right, but I have been doing a lot of reading and thinking about how I see alcohol and how I classify drinkers. I've been feeling guilty lately because I've been judging everyone I know who drinks. We were at a party last weekend and AH and I were drinking NA beer while ou...

Heather123 · Heather123

Is it really possible to find peace and happiness with an active A? My AH is my best friend. He's been there for me when nobody else could be. He's given me the unconditional and unfailing love and support that I've never had from anyone else. He takes care of me better than he takes care of himself. W...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi Everyone, My partner has been sober for 6 months 5 in rehab and rest in supported living. I am tired I keep slipping into resntfulness that although he is sober life is still so difficult and hard. He is in early recovery he is going to meetings most days and is doing good. I just feel like I need time f...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Today I smiled, and all at once things didn't look so bad Today I shared with someone else, a bit of hope I had Today I sang a little song, and felt my heart grow light And walked a happy little mile, with not a cloud in sight Today I worked with what I had and longed for nothing more And what had seemed like only...

Jerry F · Jerry F

For those of us who's lives have been positively affected by the Al-Anon Family Groups; take a moment to express gratitude for Lois W., one of the co-founders of Al-Anon and also the wife of Bill W., the co-founder of AA.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can say an awful lot even when I don't make any sense--a lot of people make sense for me. I am so glad that I have a lot of people in my life who have grown along w/ me over the years. I have had many opportunities to share my ESH but lately I have been able to share positive & uplifting memories & good t...

Suzannah · Suzannah

One of the hardest decisions for me is to face myself in times of emptiness. When I am feeling empty I tend to look everywhere for things to do, places to go, people to meet so that I do not need to face the emptiness that I feel. Tonight a friend rang me and asked me if I was okay? "Yes, thank you."...

glad lee · glad lee

I am supposed to be packing my bags to catch my flight to visit my kids for a few days. I am sitting here, fighting some anxiety over this visit, a few days ago I was bouncing with excitement. Today, I am faced with some nasty realities... my family is so torn apart since the divorce, my kids currently do...

dawnk1968 · dawnk1968

I have been away from my AH for 3 years now but he still effects me. It took a long to realize that nothing was going to change. I know I would make excuses of why my AH couldn't go and do things which for me it didn't seem right but I did it anyhow. Finally when there was nothing else I could do I had to leave for my...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone if I am really honest i have not been working a good programme of late. I am under a lot of stress in my life loosing my job, trying to start my own business run a home and raise to teenagers. I have cut my meetings down to one a week and although I read every day, I am not using my phone as much as i us...

Steph444 · Steph444

Sorry if that's a stupid question, but how do I do it? I have read the steps, but it still doesn't make sense to me. I desperately want out of this nightmare that I'm in. I'm trying to make sense of it all. Okay, I've read some posts....I guess I'm now labled codependant...but what do I do with that? How do I f...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

In your experience, how have you chosen to handle your A's lies? What was your response when you knew something was a lie (have proof)? What was your response when you suspected something was a lie (don't have proof)? I'm choosing my response to what I suspect is a lie and would like to hear about other ex...

cillia · cillia

hey im 18 years old and live with a alcaholic perent . my mom has been in rehab twise . and she just relapsed today . i dont know wat to do she keeps on hidding it and i told my dad , now she makes as if im the bad person in the story . CAN ANYONE PLZ TELL ME HOW TO COPE WITH A PERENT LIKE THIS ? im in university and my gra...

RachelW · RachelW

Right, so, I need some advice. My qualifier, my boyfriend, seems to be resentful of the things I am learing in Al-Anon. I have learned many coping skills and changed many behaviors. A few times after I has referenced some wisdom I've learned in a meeting or from Al-Anon literature, he will throw it back...

searching4peace · searching4peace

That is what I told my son on the ride to school this morning. And it was long past due. It should have been said long ago. He shouldn't be left stumbling and struggling in the minefield that is our home. And he shouldn't have to feel responsible for the moods of the other family members. After an outb...

theaeidann · theaeidann

hello everyone, i am new to all of this: being with an A (h. addicit), al anon and these forums. id like to thank everyone because so far reading others expereicnes really helps. on march 7th, its our 1 year anniversary. when i met him, he was 4 months clean. He is in the beginning years of trying to get cle...

Irish1 · Irish1

When he says " You knew I drank when we met"

TheJeanGenie · TheJeanGenie

Hey all, This is my first time posting here, I've been following for a few days. I have almost 1.5 years of Al-anon recovery, but its slow going... Life is a bit crazy at the moment, and I am battling anxiety problems using the program tools. We have many big issues at the moment although I know that my p...

Honeypie · Honeypie

Writing down how I was feeling and getting those feelings on paper was really cathartic. It helped clarify my boundaries and why I needed them in the first place. I was able to re-focus on myself and what I need and let my A bf go. Turn him back over to HP. Thanks for helping me step out of the chaos again. Hon...

Trudles57 · Trudles57

I really need some input. I have 3 sons, my middle one is an active addict/alcoholic, while the other two do drink but don't appear to have the disease, quitting alcohol at will. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic of 14 yrs & attends meetings daily. He is extremely judgmental re: my sons &a...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Had to work tonight and of course as I'm going out the door my wife starts in on my daughter......I see my daughter looking at me as I leave.....I have anxiety....not that she'll be beaten or anything physical, nor will she be starved or neglected but that she will be the whipping boy tonight while i&qu...

kath · kath

Today I can see what I have done in the past to make sure to please everybody. I am afraid of what people might think of me if I don't do what I perceive that they want me to do. Even though I know that I am doing the right thing for my kids in me, I still have a fear of upsetting my AH because I am no longer participa...

Steph444 · Steph444

Hi everyone. What a day. My husband stayed out most of the night. Which was fine but he woke up this morning being a brat. He demanded I pay half the bills. I got student loan money so he knows I have money in the bank. He threatened to slash my tires and disable my car. Actually my car still isn't fixed from ye...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hey everyone, it's been a little while, I'm humming along, trying to keep my head above water with bills, kids and choas. Leaving the AH to his own devices and trying to mind my own business. Against instinct, I asked him if he wanted to talk about the "elephant in the room", "the dista...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Saying no is something I have always struggled with. A woman in my f2f meetings says that "NO" is a complete sentence, and does not require justification or softening or sugar coating. The sugar coating is what I saw in my family of origin. When I saw my mom interact with other people (not...

deepocean · deepocean

Hi !st night discussing Al Anon and I am frightened to death !! I am sober 4 years my now ex girlfriend sober 20+ years.Our separation has left us both emotional. And we are respecting each others space and time to heal. Both accepting where each other is. She is not financially well placed and therefore...

Honeypie · Honeypie

I feel so guilty, angry and hurt. Have hardly talked to A bf all week. He called me as soon as I got off work today at 3 p.m. He assumed I would be going to his house after work today since I haven't seen him since Monday morning before work. When I said I didn't know if I was going to visit him, he was sarcastic, l...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

As some of you may remember, last month I was the wife with hate in my heart towards my husband who was in rehab. I was the wife, who at times thought my life would be easier if he would over drink himself and die.... He did his 30 day rehab, came home, and I kept my space. I did not encourage him, I did not clap my...

searching4peace · searching4peace

Seriously. I have been reading all over the board and going through my alanon literature all day and I realize that I am being crazy. I am actually acting like an insane person. I want something. I don't ask for it. I hint, imply, pout, sulk, manipulate, threaten, coerce and even lie. But I don't j...

Steph444 · Steph444

Well, I went to most of an alanon meeting tonight. Everyone was very nice, but as with my theme today, I cant stop crying. I bought the ebook codependant no more and will dive into it in a little while. I can't find the one by Tobi Rice Drews. Is it sold as an ebook? When I got home, my husband was drinking. H...

searching4peace · searching4peace

And desperately needing so support and direction. I collect alcoholics and addicts the way some people collect baseball cards. Or so it seems. I'll spare you the list. It's extensive. My husband is an alcoholic. Trying to control his drinking I stumbled apon alanon years ago and made it to a few o...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I was responding to another post when this thought came to me - maybe I'm the only one doing it, maybe others do it too. Do you tell others the truth about what is going on in your life? I don't mean telling people you're going through hard times but actually naming the trouble and talking openly about wh...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I can understand accepting things that may not be as I want them. But we are also told not to accept the unacceptable. What do you do with the unaccpetable?

xosarahox · xosarahox

I am so frusturated right now with my ab. We've just hit our one year mark and he has 7 months sober. I've never met anyone as selfish as he is. It's like a completely seperate entity from his addiction or sobriety or anything else. I don't understand how he can always put himself first or do or say or buy th...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I know I have mentioned before that my AH is working several hundred miles away. He makes it home, generally, about one weekend a month. Honestly, the arrangement is tough, but it makes it much easier for me to detach from a lot of his behavior because I don't deal with him face-to-face on a daily basis...

Steph444 · Steph444

Hi everyone. My name is Stephanie and I stumbled upon this website by accident. I've been having a tough with my husband. Well, I believe he's been replaced by someone else. He makes my head spin. My car has needed an inspection sticker since the end of January. Well, last week he said he would take it , he...

John · John

Hello Everyone, At the request of numerous members of MIP I have started to put together all the web site related fixin's of a Codependents Anonymous Group on the MIP 12 Step Recovery Forums site. You can access the CODA home page from our main home page at http://www.12stepforums.net or directly at...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi all, thought it was about time I made a gratitude list, so here it is. Enjoy. I am grateful for: Many supportive friends and family who I know I can count on and who have often surprised me with their support, generosity, and kindness.An amazing 11 year old daughter who makes me want to be a better perso...

alexmaui · alexmaui

How far does detachment go? My F2F meeting is Friday and no other meeting is nearby. My AH has been actively drinking since Christmas. I moved out...but a mortgage payment on our house is due today. He is SUPPOSED to pay it. But he has been too drunk to make a deposit to cover the payment. I don'thave acces...

Honeypie · Honeypie

I am making progress in how I am allowing this disease to affect me. My A bf is still using and is in total denial. I think he is very confused. He did not believe and tested me on Saturday. He called stating he was not drinking and could he come over to spend time with me and my kids. I went to get him and once I g...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Does alcoholism and intense jealousy go hand in hand? (Preview) My AH is extremely jealous of any male person I have any contact with - i find myself justifying the need to talk with whomever it is (and getting angrier about having to justify my right to talk to whomever i please as time goes by) so I'm wondering, does intense jealousy go in hand with the alcohol abuse o...	likemyheart	6	7380	Mar 9, 2011 by abbyal
	It's all about me. (Preview) I got into a huge argument with my Dad on the phone this morning. Yelling and interupting each other. It wasn't full of profanity or anything like that. But certainly it was ridiculous. I realized about 20 minutes into it that I had completely missed the mark. D'oh! Old habits are hard to break. I...	searching4peace	6	532	Mar 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Having trouble figuring out where I fit in (Preview) Im new to Al-Anon even though the A in my life is now sober. I wish I would have gotten help when he was actively drinking, but at the time I didnt feel worthy of help because he is just my boyfriend, and felt like it was easy for me to leave as opposed to ones who are married to an A, or has a parent who is. I kind of...	seb308	6	839	Mar 9, 2011 by KimmyJo
	Need someone to step up tonight (Preview) Hello MIP family, I will be unable to chair the 9pm meeting tonight, 3/7/11 I am sorry to have waited so long to ask for help, I'm not feeling well and would really feel better knowing someone will chair tonight. Many thanks in advance to who ever steps up to do service, Bless you..hope you have a wonderfu...	grammie	1	571	Mar 8, 2011 by RachelW
	hubby sober a year now! wrote a poem for al anon (Preview) One too many" when we were married, just you and me life was so happy, fun and carefree we were just 2, but soon I would see that little by little 2 became 3 the third was the booze, starting off slow and over the years began to grow poured out the bottles when you were drinking and then wondered wha...	oscarmom	2	783	Mar 8, 2011 by RachelW
	A few questions from a Newbie.... (Preview) 1. I signed up to chair a meeting in April. What exactly do I do? Is it just reading through the preamble and such, or do I need to prepare anything? 2. Where can I buy the ODAT, Courage to Change, or AA "Big Book" books? I see them on Amazon but I'd like to support local Al-Anon meetings through my...	RachelW	6	833	Mar 8, 2011 by RachelW
	Denial all around (Preview) I had to have a conversation with my MIL last week and even though I am divorcing her son, I still have to pick up my 2 year old from her 1 day a week. She lied to me about something little and I knew it right away, I can't figure out why and never will. She has undermined me with my husband and kids for years an...	flopadopilus	7	944	Mar 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	Such a hard weekend. (Preview) We made a spur of the moment quick trip home for the weekend. My father in law is not doing well and I really wanted a chance to see him, and for our kids to see him, one more time. He is an alcoholic. He has been drinking heavily for over 35 years. And he is going down hill quickly. His kidneys are shuttin...	searching4peace	4	971	Mar 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	As I'm getting better.... (Preview) he's getting worried... or so he says. I have been going to my counselling sessions, going to my Al-Anon meetings... working on me. I cut and coloured my hair, just got a new job (ok, it may only be at McDonald's, but it's a job... I can't be picky), and just in general... feeling good, and feeling happy, d...	Evian	10	466	Mar 8, 2011 by Evian
	New here (new to Al Anon, too!) and feeling a bit lost (Preview) Hi everyone, I went to my first Al Anon meeting on Thursday night, and I'm so glad I did. I feel a bit all over the place. I even feel I don't really have the right to be at Al Anon or on these boards, as it's only my boyfriend and we haven't been together that long - just under a year. I'm not sure of the rules here...	Loubelou	5	1233	Mar 8, 2011 by Loubelou
	Saw A bf today (Preview) After a long debate with myself, I went to see my A bf after work today. I miss the person, not the alcohol. I knew it would be hard to see him, that he would try to manipulate me to accept his drinking, but I decided to visit him hoping I would catch him in a sober state. A bf was fairly sober saying he missed me a...	Honeypie	8	767	Mar 7, 2011 by parfait624
	co-dependency (Preview) what exactly is co-dependency?	jackgeo	4	757	Mar 7, 2011 by Jerry F
	What a stupid end to a promising night. (Preview) Made it to my F2F tonight. First one in three years. And it was really hard to walk in there. Why? I don't know. I'm going to have to do some searching and see what it was that upset me so much. I walked in and before I could even hear what was being said I was in tears. Maybe some of it was relief. Just to...	searching4peace	8	1032	Mar 7, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Stuck to my boundaries (Preview) Well, I am very proud of myself. I stuck to my boundaries all weekend and did not give in to the numerous phone calls and text messages I received from A bf throughout the weekend. I kept myself busy focusing on things I wanted to do and I actually did them. No compromise, no putting them on hold. Just me for...	Honeypie	6	546	Mar 7, 2011 by Debilyn
	Feeling blessed (Preview) For the first time in my life I am feeling renewed. I found Al-Anon around the beginning of the year and at that time my life was completly upside down! I had been seperated from my husband since April and I was so tired of his drinking I could not focus. Today I am waiting the 120 days until our divorce will...	flopadopilus	4	906	Mar 7, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Any advice would be greatly appreciated (Preview) Forgive me if this is long. I have been struggling the last few days. Yesterday was an eye-opener for me. I took 2 steps forward, one big step back and today feel like I just made a huge step forward. I talked to A bf's friend who is an active member in recovery in AA. I told her what has been happening with A bf...	Honeypie	8	722	Mar 7, 2011 by Cloudsea
	I know he will never change (Preview) So...my AH hasn't been to work in a month. He was on sick leave from June to November. Went back to work in December and January...and here we are again. He is still undergoing withdrawal from clonazepam (prescription). He can not get a doctor to help him any more. His own doctor told him not to come back....	looking_for_peace	5	962	Mar 6, 2011 by Jerry F
	I Feel Violated (Preview) When I got up this morning at 6:15 am to take my Labs out I noticed the power was off in our house. At 7:30 my wife called the power company and they arrived a few minutes later to see what the problem was. My wife went out when the power person arrived. Shortly after she came back in crying and telling me someo...	RLC	11	901	Mar 6, 2011 by Jennifer
	It's happening again.... (Preview) My husband as an alcoholic. He died a year ago. My 24 yr old daughter has become my husband. I don't think I can go through this again.	peppurr	5	694	Mar 6, 2011 by abbyal
	What Higher Power???????? (Preview) I had a tenuous grip on this to begin with and again feel like there isn't any. Yes there are things in my life to be grateful for but for every one of them there's and equal and opposite problem. I'm no good with denial...it would be great to pretend that everything is ok and go tip toeing through the tuli...	mjhyankees	21	1076	Mar 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Confused about the definition of an alcoholic vs an alcohol abuser (Preview) Well, maybe my title isn't quite right, but I have been doing a lot of reading and thinking about how I see alcohol and how I classify drinkers. I've been feeling guilty lately because I've been judging everyone I know who drinks. We were at a party last weekend and AH and I were drinking NA beer while ou...	ilovedogs	8	1248	Mar 5, 2011 by Jennifer
	Whether or not the alcoholic is drinking? (Preview) Is it really possible to find peace and happiness with an active A? My AH is my best friend. He's been there for me when nobody else could be. He's given me the unconditional and unfailing love and support that I've never had from anyone else. He takes care of me better than he takes care of himself. W...	Heather123	5	825	Mar 5, 2011 by Bettina
	guilt (Preview) Hi Everyone, My partner has been sober for 6 months 5 in rehab and rest in supported living. I am tired I keep slipping into resntfulness that although he is sober life is still so difficult and hard. He is in early recovery he is going to meetings most days and is doing good. I just feel like I need time f...	Tracy	2	796	Mar 5, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Encouragement with a smile (Preview) Today I smiled, and all at once things didn't look so bad Today I shared with someone else, a bit of hope I had Today I sang a little song, and felt my heart grow light And walked a happy little mile, with not a cloud in sight Today I worked with what I had and longed for nothing more And what had seemed like only...	Suzannah	3	783	Mar 5, 2011 by Karilynn
	Lois's Birthday (Preview) For those of us who's lives have been positively affected by the Al-Anon Family Groups; take a moment to express gratitude for Lois W., one of the co-founders of Al-Anon and also the wife of Bill W., the co-founder of AA.	Jerry F	2	2408	Mar 5, 2011 by Overcome
	what can I say? (Preview) I can say an awful lot even when I don't make any sense--a lot of people make sense for me. I am so glad that I have a lot of people in my life who have grown along w/ me over the years. I have had many opportunities to share my ESH but lately I have been able to share positive & uplifting memories & good t...	Hoot Nanny	1	652	Mar 5, 2011 by Jerry F
	Facing your self in times of emptiness (Preview) One of the hardest decisions for me is to face myself in times of emptiness. When I am feeling empty I tend to look everywhere for things to do, places to go, people to meet so that I do not need to face the emptiness that I feel. Tonight a friend rang me and asked me if I was okay? "Yes, thank you."...	Suzannah	3	1346	Mar 4, 2011 by hotrod
	Taking a trip to Chaos USA (Preview) I am supposed to be packing my bags to catch my flight to visit my kids for a few days. I am sitting here, fighting some anxiety over this visit, a few days ago I was bouncing with excitement. Today, I am faced with some nasty realities... my family is so torn apart since the divorce, my kids currently do...	glad lee	5	708	Mar 4, 2011 by glad lee
	Just wanted to say some things... (Preview) I have been away from my AH for 3 years now but he still effects me. It took a long to realize that nothing was going to change. I know I would make excuses of why my AH couldn't go and do things which for me it didn't seem right but I did it anyhow. Finally when there was nothing else I could do I had to leave for my...	dawnk1968	1	615	Mar 4, 2011 by xeno59
	really need to makw up my mind (Preview) Hi everyone if I am really honest i have not been working a good programme of late. I am under a lot of stress in my life loosing my job, trying to start my own business run a home and raise to teenagers. I have cut my meetings down to one a week and although I read every day, I am not using my phone as much as i us...	Tracy	2	805	Mar 4, 2011 by Debilyn
	How do I do the alanon steps?? (Preview) Sorry if that's a stupid question, but how do I do it? I have read the steps, but it still doesn't make sense to me. I desperately want out of this nightmare that I'm in. I'm trying to make sense of it all. Okay, I've read some posts....I guess I'm now labled codependant...but what do I do with that? How do I f...	Steph444	4	2425	Mar 4, 2011 by pinkchip
	Lies (Preview) In your experience, how have you chosen to handle your A's lies? What was your response when you knew something was a lie (have proof)? What was your response when you suspected something was a lie (don't have proof)? I'm choosing my response to what I suspect is a lie and would like to hear about other ex...	Very Very Tired	10	1005	Mar 4, 2011 by oscarmom
	young adult with alcaholic perent (Preview) hey im 18 years old and live with a alcaholic perent . my mom has been in rehab twise . and she just relapsed today . i dont know wat to do she keeps on hidding it and i told my dad , now she makes as if im the bad person in the story . CAN ANYONE PLZ TELL ME HOW TO COPE WITH A PERENT LIKE THIS ? im in university and my gra...	cillia	4	767	Mar 4, 2011 by usedtobeanyer
	My qualifier is resentful of my recovery (Preview) Right, so, I need some advice. My qualifier, my boyfriend, seems to be resentful of the things I am learing in Al-Anon. I have learned many coping skills and changed many behaviors. A few times after I has referenced some wisdom I've learned in a meeting or from Al-Anon literature, he will throw it back...	RachelW	6	1340	Mar 4, 2011 by nmike
	It's not his fault. (Preview) That is what I told my son on the ride to school this morning. And it was long past due. It should have been said long ago. He shouldn't be left stumbling and struggling in the minefield that is our home. And he shouldn't have to feel responsible for the moods of the other family members. After an outb...	searching4peace	5	740	Mar 4, 2011 by Rora
	New and feeling confused (Preview) hello everyone, i am new to all of this: being with an A (h. addicit), al anon and these forums. id like to thank everyone because so far reading others expereicnes really helps. on march 7th, its our 1 year anniversary. when i met him, he was 4 months clean. He is in the beginning years of trying to get cle...	theaeidann	2	691	Mar 4, 2011 by Mattie
	Not sure what to say (Preview) When he says " You knew I drank when we met"	Irish1	5	785	Mar 4, 2011 by athabascan indian
	Worry (Preview) Hey all, This is my first time posting here, I've been following for a few days. I have almost 1.5 years of Al-anon recovery, but its slow going... Life is a bit crazy at the moment, and I am battling anxiety problems using the program tools. We have many big issues at the moment although I know that my p...	TheJeanGenie	2	720	Mar 4, 2011 by pinkchip
	writing it out helps (Preview) Writing down how I was feeling and getting those feelings on paper was really cathartic. It helped clarify my boundaries and why I needed them in the first place. I was able to re-focus on myself and what I need and let my A bf go. Turn him back over to HP. Thanks for helping me step out of the chaos again. Hon...	Honeypie	2	527	Mar 4, 2011 by RachelW
	New to this group...Alanon member since 6/10...please help (Preview) I really need some input. I have 3 sons, my middle one is an active addict/alcoholic, while the other two do drink but don't appear to have the disease, quitting alcohol at will. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic of 14 yrs & attends meetings daily. He is extremely judgmental re: my sons &a...	Trudles57	7	687	Mar 4, 2011 by pinkchip
	Anxiety....... (Preview) Had to work tonight and of course as I'm going out the door my wife starts in on my daughter......I see my daughter looking at me as I leave.....I have anxiety....not that she'll be beaten or anything physical, nor will she be starved or neglected but that she will be the whipping boy tonight while i&qu...	mjhyankees	5	685	Mar 3, 2011 by Jerry F
	Today (Preview) Today I can see what I have done in the past to make sure to please everybody. I am afraid of what people might think of me if I don't do what I perceive that they want me to do. Even though I know that I am doing the right thing for my kids in me, I still have a fear of upsetting my AH because I am no longer participa...	kath	4	658	Mar 3, 2011 by kath
	terrible day (Preview) Hi everyone. What a day. My husband stayed out most of the night. Which was fine but he woke up this morning being a brat. He demanded I pay half the bills. I got student loan money so he knows I have money in the bank. He threatened to slash my tires and disable my car. Actually my car still isn't fixed from ye...	Steph444	3	596	Mar 3, 2011 by abbyal
	deflecting projection (Preview) Hey everyone, it's been a little while, I'm humming along, trying to keep my head above water with bills, kids and choas. Leaving the AH to his own devices and trying to mind my own business. Against instinct, I asked him if he wanted to talk about the "elephant in the room", "the dista...	newleaf66	1	1197	Mar 3, 2011 by hotrod
	Saying "NO" (Preview) Saying no is something I have always struggled with. A woman in my f2f meetings says that "NO" is a complete sentence, and does not require justification or softening or sugar coating. The sugar coating is what I saw in my family of origin. When I saw my mom interact with other people (not...	White Rabbit	3	739	Mar 3, 2011 by Jerry F
	1st night of Al Anon... is this for real !!! (Preview) Hi !st night discussing Al Anon and I am frightened to death !! I am sober 4 years my now ex girlfriend sober 20+ years.Our separation has left us both emotional. And we are respecting each others space and time to heal. Both accepting where each other is. She is not financially well placed and therefore...	deepocean	5	962	Mar 3, 2011 by 1911A1
	Still struggling (Preview) I feel so guilty, angry and hurt. Have hardly talked to A bf all week. He called me as soon as I got off work today at 3 p.m. He assumed I would be going to his house after work today since I haven't seen him since Monday morning before work. When I said I didn't know if I was going to visit him, he was sarcastic, l...	Honeypie	7	426	Mar 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	A Storm vs. Hurricane... (Preview) As some of you may remember, last month I was the wife with hate in my heart towards my husband who was in rehab. I was the wife, who at times thought my life would be easier if he would over drink himself and die.... He did his 30 day rehab, came home, and I kept my space. I did not encourage him, I did not clap my...	KimmyJo	3	2187	Mar 3, 2011 by Mattie
	I am so passive aggressive. (Preview) Seriously. I have been reading all over the board and going through my alanon literature all day and I realize that I am being crazy. I am actually acting like an insane person. I want something. I don't ask for it. I hint, imply, pout, sulk, manipulate, threaten, coerce and even lie. But I don't j...	searching4peace	7	516	Mar 3, 2011 by Aloha
	First Alanon Meeting Tonight (Preview) Well, I went to most of an alanon meeting tonight. Everyone was very nice, but as with my theme today, I cant stop crying. I bought the ebook codependant no more and will dive into it in a little while. I can't find the one by Tobi Rice Drews. Is it sold as an ebook? When I got home, my husband was drinking. H...	Steph444	5	643	Mar 2, 2011 by likemyheart
	New here (Preview) And desperately needing so support and direction. I collect alcoholics and addicts the way some people collect baseball cards. Or so it seems. I'll spare you the list. It's extensive. My husband is an alcoholic. Trying to control his drinking I stumbled apon alanon years ago and made it to a few o...	searching4peace	7	437	Mar 2, 2011 by searching4peace
	Telling Others (Preview) I was responding to another post when this thought came to me - maybe I'm the only one doing it, maybe others do it too. Do you tell others the truth about what is going on in your life? I don't mean telling people you're going through hard times but actually naming the trouble and talking openly about wh...	likemyheart	4	1024	Mar 2, 2011 by ythannah
	Acceptance and the unacceptable.... (Preview) I can understand accepting things that may not be as I want them. But we are also told not to accept the unacceptable. What do you do with the unaccpetable?	mjhyankees	6	759	Mar 2, 2011 by Aloha
	So Selfish (Preview) I am so frusturated right now with my ab. We've just hit our one year mark and he has 7 months sober. I've never met anyone as selfish as he is. It's like a completely seperate entity from his addiction or sobriety or anything else. I don't understand how he can always put himself first or do or say or buy th...	xosarahox	3	892	Mar 2, 2011 by pinkchip
	Taking Positive Steps (Preview) I know I have mentioned before that my AH is working several hundred miles away. He makes it home, generally, about one weekend a month. Honestly, the arrangement is tough, but it makes it much easier for me to detach from a lot of his behavior because I don't deal with him face-to-face on a daily basis...	stephaniej	1	519	Mar 2, 2011 by pineapple
	Hi Everyone (Preview) Hi everyone. My name is Stephanie and I stumbled upon this website by accident. I've been having a tough with my husband. Well, I believe he's been replaced by someone else. He makes my head spin. My car has needed an inspection sticker since the end of January. Well, last week he said he would take it , he...	Steph444	5	769	Mar 2, 2011 by Jerry F
	Codependents Anonymous Group Started on MIP Today! (Preview) Hello Everyone, At the request of numerous members of MIP I have started to put together all the web site related fixin's of a Codependents Anonymous Group on the MIP 12 Step Recovery Forums site. You can access the CODA home page from our main home page at http://www.12stepforums.net or directly at...	John	0	541	Mar 2, 2011 by John
	My Gratitude List (Preview) Hi all, thought it was about time I made a gratitude list, so here it is. Enjoy. I am grateful for: Many supportive friends and family who I know I can count on and who have often surprised me with their support, generosity, and kindness.An amazing 11 year old daughter who makes me want to be a better perso...	danielle0516	6	3987	Mar 1, 2011 by xosarahox
	How far does this go (Preview) How far does detachment go? My F2F meeting is Friday and no other meeting is nearby. My AH has been actively drinking since Christmas. I moved out...but a mortgage payment on our house is due today. He is SUPPOSED to pay it. But he has been too drunk to make a deposit to cover the payment. I don'thave acces...	alexmaui	5	664	Mar 1, 2011 by likemyheart
	I am making progress (Preview) I am making progress in how I am allowing this disease to affect me. My A bf is still using and is in total denial. I think he is very confused. He did not believe and tested me on Saturday. He called stating he was not drinking and could he come over to spend time with me and my kids. I went to get him and once I g...	Honeypie	8	1103	Mar 1, 2011 by Honeypie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.