The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I can say an awful lot even when I don't make any sense--a lot of people make sense for me. I am so glad that I have a lot of people in my life who have grown along w/ me over the years.
I have had many opportunities to share my ESH but lately I have been able to share positive & uplifting memories & good times along w/ some bad but more good! I always share that I am grateful at the meetings I go to because w/o gratitude. I am just a sad sack!
My Ah is doing so much better! I am seeing that it is better to stay out of his way & let him stumble sometimes. I hope that he does the same for me.
I need to be more humble also--humility w/o humiliation. I have been through so much that I can say that I truly have been through the ringer but all those experiences have taught me to be humble. I have a great capacity for showing my feelings & as a friend says I show my feelings right on my sleeve.
Just the other day, at our last alanon meeting, a nice lady kept mentioning about something that triggered a thought in my mind. I hate the words:NEVER & ALWAYS--NOTHING HAPPENS ALWAYS & NEVER SAY NEVER! Just like you shoulda, coulda woulda syndrome.
So much to say today. I am probably rambling but because of my limited time, I have to hurry & get out as much as I can in such a short time.
I love this site, I love the honesty it brings out in people. I am one of those people who have to get honest. I have told so many lies in the past; especially to myself! I am still a work in progress. I have to remind myself that on a daily basis. So, if I continue to repeat myself, you can see why!
Alanon has taught me so much. I am constantly reminded of an old timer(who is gone now I am sure) that wore brown because her Ah always wanted her to. Needless to say, in recovery she wore other colors besides brown. I think that is a pretty simple way to say that I will do what I want & wear what I want no matter what my Ah wants me to do. As long as it doesn't hurt me or others, I am a safe to do so.
Recovery is my only option. I am trudging the road to happy destiny & I hope I will see you on that road--sometimes it is narrow but sometimes we can all fit together on that road.
So, whether I make sense or not today, I hope someone will get something out of all this. ODAT Kathleen
