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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Don't react, one day at a time
Post Info TOPIC: Don't react, one day at a time
pineapple


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Don't react, one day at a time
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Ah was out of town for two weeks and I kind of got out of practice. He made it almost a week back home without drinking. But he woke me up this morning at 7:00 am and was already drunk.  My first reaction was to say something sarcastic (which in itself is progress, a year ago I would have started yelling)...but I didn't.  I asked him if he would like breakfast as I was going to make some for myself. Nope, he just wanted to go back to sleep. OK with me. I got up, had breakfast, did some chores, some baking, walked the dog, etc. He finally got up at 4:00 pm and said he was going to make pancakes. He'd had some projects planned for today, one of which has been put off for four days in a row. Obviously, none of them got done. I was SOOOO tempted to say ¨What about the pump you've been going to fix for days now?¨ But I didn't. I said pancakes for dinner sounded great to me. I then went to my ¨quiet bench¨ in the garden where I go to be alone to think and pray. The two things that kept going through my mind were ¨don't react¨ and ¨one day at a time¨. So I've made it through most of this day without reacting. I can get through the rest of it. And tomorrow will be another, and maybe better day. I can do this, I know I can. Alanon has been such a big help to me and those two phrases have helped me to get through many times that before would have resulted in arguments, hurt feelings, etc. I know there will be times ahead that will be tougher than today to deal with. I  just have to remember DON'T REACT and ONE DAY AT A TIME.

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hotrod


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Dear Pineapp;e

You have selected  two great slogans to keep you centered and within your program.  They were the main foundation to my program many years ago and  truly saved my sanity and marriage. 

I am so glad you have a quiet place to pray and center yourself.  This too will pass and just remember HP is right there with you  You are never alone

In my thoughts and prayers.

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
ythannah


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Thanks for illustrating how well these tools work, pineapple.

Not long ago, ABF and I were in the car -- he was telling me how crappy his life was and he made some comment about feeling like he wanted to drink.  I said nothing.  After a pause he said, "Aren't you doing to say something?"  I replied, "No, I'm practicing 'don't react'" biggrin

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Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
Jerry F


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P...you did great.  Don't react is an original given to me by a former sponsor and has
been so valuable in my own recovery.  I violated it last week and that reminded me
of how valuable it is.  I don't know how to react well so I shouldn't.  Sad that he is not
in the same time zone or atmosphere you are in.  Let's pray the pump gets fixed.
It could happen.   ((((hugs)))) smile



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RLC


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Pineapple.....You did good. Not reacting, and allowing your serenity and peace of mind to stay in a safe place on your "quiet bench", just you and HP one on one. Can't get any better than that. I have tried the opposite of don't react and the outcome is always the opposite of what you accomplished today. Don't react is my favorite slogan and your post was a perfect example showing how it can protect "us from us".

KTCOYF
HUGS,
RLC

-- Edited by RLC on Monday 28th of February 2011 11:36:19 AM

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Debilyn


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Don't ya feel so good!? I am smiling here for you. This is huge.

I loved hearing about your private place. You just inspired me to do that up at my new home.

Not reacting sure frees us. We cannot change it anyway. Its like you finally acccepted that.

Living one day has even been hard for me lately. But usually it is great. Take care of what you can and then have fun, read, relax, be grateful.

He must be so sick honey to be drunk like that. So sad.

What a waste of life.

Glad you are ok! love,debilyn

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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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