Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

Hi everyone I was here a quite a few years ago because of an ex relationship with an addict/alcoholic and i am back because i am now struggling with my moms abuse of prescription drugs. this is a completely different situation for me and im really at a loss of how to handle things. i need to relearn letting...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I come to the conclusion so often that I am done, I've had enough but I always stay. For the ones of you that made the break, did you do the same thing for a while or did you make the decision once and act on it immediately? Also, do you ever have doubts that you did the right thing?

Tigger · Tigger

Hello (((all))) Does anyone have any tips on raising self esteem? This evening i found myself in floods of tears, sobbing, because I was caught off guard by something my partner said. I think it reminded me of something my A dad would say in the past, because it really hit a nerve and I started hitting mys...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha All...most of you know the 9th step the wording and intent. I've had a long 3 decade relationship with it and with asking for the guidance from my HP on one especially. It is 38 years old and happened during the drinking years...my alcoholic girl friend's and mine. It happened in a foreign cou...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everyone, I've been out of the loop and this is just an update for the curious. Didn't want to worry anyone so here I am! Basically I've been getting my life back together, which is improving but feels like a sloooooow crawl. My main obstacle has been depression, styled in the, " I'm 41, child...

texasgal · texasgal

I have been offline for a few days. I downgraded my phone plan so all I have is texting and calling to save $$. I also do not have internet at home. I was too obsessed with the internet and trying to find out any new info on my husbands "friend" on FB. I am just living one hour at a time and doing for...

JJ21 · JJ21

Why is it easier for me to set boundries, move on and take care of myself when I feel anger towards the A. When I feel compassion and try to detach nicely, I feel hurt and weak for myself and the A. When I'm angry, I go into self protection mode and know how to get motivated to take care of myself and not be tak...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi I have been on this board now for one year. Different log names and such. wow... I remember sitting here typing away with tears rolling down my face. The door to my office shut. Wanting to die and/or crawl into the corner and forget I even existed. I didn't know if I wanted to stay married.. divorce....

grayduchess · grayduchess

I just found this board today. I've been Interneting searching for weeks looking for help to pull myself together. Really don't know how I missed this! I'm a mess. I've been drinking hard. Although I've been in and out of a bottle since I was 14, I have never before drank before work but I've went to work t...

MLC256 · MLC256

Alcoholism and the Insanity of the Disease I am 51 years old and have been sober since 1984. My brother is also an alcoholic and dying from this disease. He was diagnosed with liver failure and damage that almost killed him 9 years ago. He quit drinking, but left treatment and dropped AA after a few month...

katfshh · katfshh

Every time I fall asleep I have a nightmare. I fell asleep about an hour ago and dreamed that my exAF slit my throat.(He has never been physically violent) The other day I dreamed that there were wild animals in my house as pets and they went crazy and started attacking me. There are more, but you get the p...

CDK · CDK

I dont know where this is coming from for sure, so I am taking it here. Its been almost two months of no contact with my exA. Even longer since we had a "normal happy" for us conversation. Right now, right in this moment I miss him. I just want to text him and be like "Hi baby!". Like we u...

rellik · rellik

I have my first Al Anon meeting tonight. Very apprehensive about it all. I was able to talk to my wife for the first time in two days. Not talking to her and being worried about her condition in rehab put me on edge. I jumped all over my kids and myself. Nothing was right and it was either their fault or mine. I...

rondap59 · rondap59

I am learning slowly but surely how not to enable my ah. He moved into the garage about 6 weeks ago suppopsedly to have the time and space to work on himself. Working on himself has consisted of getting drunk every night with his husband and wife drinking buddies down the street and stumbling into the g...

JJ21 · JJ21

Started seeing ex 3 months ago on weekends, we live six hours apart. He wanted us to get back together immediately. I stalled on this, as I didn't want to move back there where I have no family/friends and he is drinking. He was going to attend counseling and we were working on moving back here in a few mont...

katfshh · katfshh

Today is a better day for me. Last night was tough. I actually told family and friends that I am no longer engaged and no longer in a relationship. I even changed my Facebook status! LOL. The outpouring of love and support from all of my friends, family, and co-workers is such a blessing. I can't even beli...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH is in sales and qualifies for a work related trip every year. They have them in October and this years trip is to Costa Rica. I would love to go to Costa Rica but I really don't feel ready to go on a 5 day trip with him right now. I'd be expected to go to dinners with the president of the company, have to s...

rellik · rellik

I'm new and lost. I was all set to go to my first meeting Tuesday night and start my own recovery while my wife attends rehab. I just found out I will be out of state for the next two weeks. I have searched and I cannot locate a meeting in Ontario Oregon. Does anyone here know of a meeting that I could attend in t...

Lyne · Lyne

So tonight my spouse is going out with the couple who ignited her last drinking period, which is lasting into its 7th yr. I refuse to go out with these people even though it is not their fault. I've been unhappy all day but at least I wasn't lied to. I also see progress in myself because i'm not panicked,...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

Situation: hubby had major heart surgery last month and is scheduled for another heart procedure in less than a wk. He's having some serious angina symptoms and the dr has told him to stay calm, quiet & get lots of rest prior to this upcoming procedure. Ex daughter in law has been in a major meth me...

Spanish Poppy · Spanish Poppy

Reply Quote Edit Post Not sure how to start here. If it's not one type of something it's another that he pulls out for a while. Then it seems to go into regression and then 'bam' he's slurry and ack again. I have to admit that he sure hid this from me. Really well. We'll be married 2yrs next month.. a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv_QAnViiHY&feature=colike

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Step 4 was delivered to me at the right moment, my HP has been working overtime the past 5 days. There is nothing like reality to tell you exactly where you are. Im glad for the boundaries I had but they just didnt quite fit the need. I was able to get to recognize that my weak boundary was responsible for m...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I came to admit that I was powerless over the chatroom. I now need a power greater than myself to restore me to sanity. It's stuck on an endless Java load loop. We weren't meant to be...

Temple · Temple

I wish I had had this in front of me at a couple of odd junctures in my life. A lot of this is just basic common sense. And that's something that I was often lacking in after a disastrous relationship. Anybody who treated me halfway decently seemed like an answer to prayers. http://www.huffington...

Gailey · Gailey

I have such a problem with resentments toward people that "get away" with actions that I think are so self seeking. I cannot find a way to "let it go" I have been praying to HP to help me to release these resentments and take care of and focus on my own life but I keep slipping back. It...

Lyne · Lyne

Here is my pattern: I am involved with Al Anon for awhile, I feel much better, slowly I don't feel the need to check in daily or even weekly, think I'm doing fine, and then WHAM-I have a load of anger that is HUGE. So right now I have this sky-scraper of anger and I knew I had to get back here. It's been many m...

tortuga · tortuga

my ABF is in detox this week, we were supposed not to talk to eachother, and I have hands full of work to do with myself nowadays, trying to focus on myself, but it's hard, because I miss him of course. I guess he feels the same. Today he called, and I guess i should have been smarter and not pick up, it's not th...

callmemara · callmemara

I am interested to hear your experience with counseling/therapy for yourself. Specifically those who wanted to go to counseling with their signifanct other, but they refused. Or thought their s/o (A or not an A) is the one who TRULY needed couseling, but refused to go so you went yourself. Did counse...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

Curious if anyone has turned in their A for drunk driving? Mine has been cuaght twice and got away with a huge wreck cuz dad covered for him. He continues to drive black out drunk weekly. I feel an obligation if I know he's drinking in driving to call the police, but sadly I am afraid this will create extrem...

JJ21 · JJ21

I don't know why I have a hard time with this concept, but can someone explain what being spiritual means to them?

seablu · seablu

I have been surrounded by alcoholism and addiction my entire life. My father was an alcoholic and my mother an addict. I'm engaged to a recovering addict. I didn't know her when she was using. I believed I had made a great decision being with someone who decided not to tolerate addiction in their l...

katfshh · katfshh

I am trying to just go about my business. It's not working. He paws at me and I ask him to stop. Then he yells at me and says, "Well, that's not very attractive." Then just now he had a fit because I wouldn't help him find his wallet. Then he found it and is going to the store for more booze. I feel lik...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Getting ready to go do some contract work...head out the door to "out there". Had breakfast with my wife who gratefully left the ODAAT Al-Anon reader next to my breakfast place. She's a winner and so is that daily reader. If you don't have one get one and use it. After the page of the day I...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

I separated from my A, he's at his parents with a lot of drama since he left. Today he made a first step. Spoke with counselor at local addiction center, getting a sponsor, etc. I told him and this time I mean it, no contact until he gets pro help and begins to work on him. I would like to think part of his actio...

Tigger · Tigger

I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness, no longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower. We are all together now, reaching out our hands for power and strength greater than ours, and as we join hands, we find love a...

Elizabeth10 · Elizabeth10

I've been attending f2f meetings for almost 6 months now. I volunteered to co chair a beginners meeting tonight if there are any newcomers. I understand they share their story with the newcomers, but is there anythig else they must do? Thanks :)

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, It's been a little while since I have made a post. Been working and busy with my 2 year old. My alcoholic boyfriend has made more of an effort to be sober lately. It went from coming home everyday to a drunk to more days he's sober. He was sick with the stomach flu but now he's been better so maybe that h...

FriendT · FriendT

When you know he isn't coming home all night and know where the room he rented is.

Daughter · Daughter

I posted here once a few years ago and have been a lurker off and on ever since. Just needed a place to vent today... My AM has been drinking heavy for the past 10 years or so. In and out of rehab, jail, detox, etc. She's lost everything...a marriage, an engagement, houses, savings, jobs, relationships wi...

juliebug72 · juliebug72

I went to my first meeting last week and while I found the structure of the meeting comforting, I was also a little confused. Mainly, I was surprised there is not interaction with a person's "share". I expected discussion, questions, suggestions, or even encouragement after someone s...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

That's the big question in my life right now. Do I stick around my sick family members or leave for a while? I've been in recovery for years and it took me a lot of hard work to accept, then work through the pain of, the truth. Some folks know the truth off the bat but in my case it was very well-hidden and they k...

Pushka · Pushka

Out of sheer curiosity .. does vodka freeze??? thanks P :)

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I'm switching games here today :) I also have a son with mental illness. It's either bipolar or schizophrenia, but typically the final diagnosis truly waits. But he can't function without a lot of heavy duty mood stabilizers and impulse meds. Heartbreaking really. He was sent to live with his gre...

tortuga · tortuga

Hello, this is my first try asking for help with Al-Anon, after so long time. I grew up in a family with always alcohol around. My father can't stop drinking, even if he's still one of the 'soft drinkers' I guess, still it's always there, always excuses. My mother always caring, spending a lot of energ...

wheezy13 · wheezy13

I've recently found our that my sponsee has asked someone to be her cosponsor. This person goes to a handleful of meetings a year and lives out of state 5-6 months out of the year. I work my program very differently than she does and I feel that meeting attendence is very important. My sponsee has also...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Its amazing to me that when ive not been to a alanon family mtg in awhile how quickly I fall apart. The weekend was a rollercoaster. Alc husb spent much of juky fourth week drinking and socializing on the lake. I tolerate it for awhile and for the most part its all harmless but then again....its not. Sadly...

sookie · sookie

I am tired..frustrated...near the end of my patience. All I hear from my AH is that he is alone and blames friends and family for abandoning him while he is "sick" (we have been separated for a year, he's been trying to be sober for 2). I have heard it over and over for two years. When I ask, wha...

Tamster · Tamster

Feeling so very sad....need some advice

Tracy · Tracy

wow went to a step meeting today and then to a fellowship meetig was out most of the day. on way home my exabf family rang they had locked him out and he was kicking the door in, he had messaged and rang me but I was in my meetings. they rang the police and he has been arrested. His mum is 70 and his neice is 21 w...

holivex · holivex

they refuse to abide by your boundaries? I have repeatedly asked AH to not come near the kids or me when he has been drinking. We have a finished basement with an extra bed, tv, half bath, etc. He will not go down there. Will not leave the house either. Today I discovered he had been drinking while he w...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

5 days after he put the loaded gun to his head I'm feeling the calm come back into my home. He's been gone at his parents since July 4th with all the chaotic drama. His parents were manipulated after the gun incident the very next day that he doesn't have a problem. When I woke up this morning I recieved the t...

rellik · rellik

so I was talking with a friend of mine and kindof going through the last week my wife going to rehab and staying with her for 12 years. he told me I suffered from "superman syndrom" and that i'm screwed. I wasn't happy with his assumption so I din't inquire further. So I thought I would go to a pla...

rellik · rellik

everything bottomed out four days ago. I told my wife we were done. she fell apart and checked into a hotel where she drank her self drunk everymorning for three days. I still couldn't pull myself away from her. So I went to her everyday to try and take care of her. I didn't want to have to tell our four kids t...

katfshh · katfshh

What do you think God (HP) was trying to tell me? My AF left yesterday to ride his bike to the store for more booze. I fell back into my control freak mode and ran out to the garage. I was going to change the code on the garage door so he couldn't get back in. I grabbed the ladder and opened it. But, when I opened i...

Katy · Katy

We have never been able to communicate, our behaviours have been immature and distructive, we have tried to resolve issues between ourselves, I realised I needed outside help to do that, it's very hard trusting people with your personal problems especially when you have to take them outside of the h...

imom · imom

Wow, another sleepless night. Oh, if only I could get back all those wasted hours of no sleep from this terrible disease. It is 3:22 in the morning and I just figured out that my hp works in mysterious ways. Tonight my AH got drunk and high after taking a handful of xanax. I cannot believe he is still ali...

John · John

Hi everyone, the reason many are not able to get into the chat room for meetings is limited to 2 reasons for the most part. #1. Need to update/download Java software from http://java.com/en/download/index.jsp so you computer is running the most current version. #2. When the chatroom is loadin...

katfshh · katfshh

He freaking just showed up. He is obnoxious and asking me what is for lunch, then turned on the stereo I have to get through this day without reacting. My daughter has my car, otherwise I would leave. I don't get this disease. It's really bizarre and seems to enjoy taking others along for the ride.

Country Boy · Country Boy

I am so sad. I know now that I can no longer stay married to my AW. I had been keeping it in the back of my mind for some time, not wanting to make a rash decision. I have been trying my best to make myself better but I cannot do it with her in my day to day life .I have been trying to make our marriage better but she on...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I'm back and in a new situation (Preview) Hi everyone I was here a quite a few years ago because of an ex relationship with an addict/alcoholic and i am back because i am now struggling with my moms abuse of prescription drugs. this is a completely different situation for me and im really at a loss of how to handle things. i need to relearn letting...	notsonew1111	3	513	Jul 13, 2012 by callmemara
	? for Those Who Have Made the Break (Preview) I come to the conclusion so often that I am done, I've had enough but I always stay. For the ones of you that made the break, did you do the same thing for a while or did you make the decision once and act on it immediately? Also, do you ever have doubts that you did the right thing?	WornOutMrsFixIt	14	684	Jul 13, 2012 by callmemara
	Self esteem (Preview) Hello (((all))) Does anyone have any tips on raising self esteem? This evening i found myself in floods of tears, sobbing, because I was caught off guard by something my partner said. I think it reminded me of something my A dad would say in the past, because it really hit a nerve and I started hitting mys...	Tigger	14	1083	Jul 13, 2012 by Tigger
	A 9th step progress... (Preview) Aloha All...most of you know the 9th step the wording and intent. I've had a long 3 decade relationship with it and with asking for the guidance from my HP on one especially. It is 38 years old and happened during the drinking years...my alcoholic girl friend's and mine. It happened in a foreign cou...	Jerry F	5	444	Jul 13, 2012 by Pushka
	Been out of loop, update (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been out of the loop and this is just an update for the curious. Didn't want to worry anyone so here I am! Basically I've been getting my life back together, which is improving but feels like a sloooooow crawl. My main obstacle has been depression, styled in the, " I'm 41, child...	rara avis	4	387	Jul 13, 2012 by Pushka
	Living just one day at a time (Preview) I have been offline for a few days. I downgraded my phone plan so all I have is texting and calling to save $$. I also do not have internet at home. I was too obsessed with the internet and trying to find out any new info on my husbands "friend" on FB. I am just living one hour at a time and doing for...	texasgal	3	392	Jul 13, 2012 by Pushka
	Why is it easier to feel Anger vs. Compassion for the Disease (Preview) Why is it easier for me to set boundries, move on and take care of myself when I feel anger towards the A. When I feel compassion and try to detach nicely, I feel hurt and weak for myself and the A. When I'm angry, I go into self protection mode and know how to get motivated to take care of myself and not be tak...	JJ21	11	758	Jul 13, 2012 by abbyal
	Anniversary (Preview) Hi I have been on this board now for one year. Different log names and such. wow... I remember sitting here typing away with tears rolling down my face. The door to my office shut. Wanting to die and/or crawl into the corner and forget I even existed. I didn't know if I wanted to stay married.. divorce....	Oksie	9	499	Jul 13, 2012 by hotrod
	New here but not new to the mess... (Preview) I just found this board today. I've been Interneting searching for weeks looking for help to pull myself together. Really don't know how I missed this! I'm a mess. I've been drinking hard. Although I've been in and out of a bottle since I was 14, I have never before drank before work but I've went to work t...	grayduchess	4	344	Jul 13, 2012 by Mattie
	Loved one dying from drinking (Preview) Alcoholism and the Insanity of the Disease I am 51 years old and have been sober since 1984. My brother is also an alcoholic and dying from this disease. He was diagnosed with liver failure and damage that almost killed him 9 years ago. He quit drinking, but left treatment and dropped AA after a few month...	MLC256	5	570	Jul 12, 2012 by hotrod
	Constant Nightmares (Preview) Every time I fall asleep I have a nightmare. I fell asleep about an hour ago and dreamed that my exAF slit my throat.(He has never been physically violent) The other day I dreamed that there were wild animals in my house as pets and they went crazy and started attacking me. There are more, but you get the p...	katfshh	20	733	Jul 12, 2012 by pinkchip
	Today's irrational thought... (Preview) I dont know where this is coming from for sure, so I am taking it here. Its been almost two months of no contact with my exA. Even longer since we had a "normal happy" for us conversation. Right now, right in this moment I miss him. I just want to text him and be like "Hi baby!". Like we u...	CDK	5	413	Jul 12, 2012 by pinkchip
	First group meeting tonight (Preview) I have my first Al Anon meeting tonight. Very apprehensive about it all. I was able to talk to my wife for the first time in two days. Not talking to her and being worried about her condition in rehab put me on edge. I jumped all over my kids and myself. Nothing was right and it was either their fault or mine. I...	rellik	3	373	Jul 12, 2012 by Jerry F
	How do I clarify what enabling is (Preview) I am learning slowly but surely how not to enable my ah. He moved into the garage about 6 weeks ago suppopsedly to have the time and space to work on himself. Working on himself has consisted of getting drunk every night with his husband and wife drinking buddies down the street and stumbling into the g...	rondap59	9	691	Jul 12, 2012 by Jerry F
	Humiliated by Alcohol again (Preview) Started seeing ex 3 months ago on weekends, we live six hours apart. He wanted us to get back together immediately. I stalled on this, as I didn't want to move back there where I have no family/friends and he is drinking. He was going to attend counseling and we were working on moving back here in a few mont...	JJ21	6	512	Jul 12, 2012 by Mattie
	Better..engagement off. (Preview) Today is a better day for me. Last night was tough. I actually told family and friends that I am no longer engaged and no longer in a relationship. I even changed my Facebook status! LOL. The outpouring of love and support from all of my friends, family, and co-workers is such a blessing. I can't even beli...	katfshh	13	582	Jul 12, 2012 by callmemara
	Hmm, considering giving up our trip to Costa Rica (Preview) My AH is in sales and qualifies for a work related trip every year. They have them in October and this years trip is to Costa Rica. I would love to go to Costa Rica but I really don't feel ready to go on a 5 day trip with him right now. I'd be expected to go to dinners with the president of the company, have to s...	ilovedogs	7	562	Jul 12, 2012 by callmemara
	I NEED to find a meeting!!! (Preview) I'm new and lost. I was all set to go to my first meeting Tuesday night and start my own recovery while my wife attends rehab. I just found out I will be out of state for the next two weeks. I have searched and I cannot locate a meeting in Ontario Oregon. Does anyone here know of a meeting that I could attend in t...	rellik	2	382	Jul 12, 2012 by rellik
	unhappy but coping (Preview) So tonight my spouse is going out with the couple who ignited her last drinking period, which is lasting into its 7th yr. I refuse to go out with these people even though it is not their fault. I've been unhappy all day but at least I wasn't lied to. I also see progress in myself because i'm not panicked,...	Lyne	2	362	Jul 12, 2012 by rellik
	Need to control in full bloom (Preview) Situation: hubby had major heart surgery last month and is scheduled for another heart procedure in less than a wk. He's having some serious angina symptoms and the dr has told him to stay calm, quiet & get lots of rest prior to this upcoming procedure. Ex daughter in law has been in a major meth me...	Path to Serenity	6	464	Jul 12, 2012 by rellik
	My husband is the 'addict' and I'm a little angry, I think (Preview) Reply Quote Edit Post Not sure how to start here. If it's not one type of something it's another that he pulls out for a while. Then it seems to go into regression and then 'bam' he's slurry and ack again. I have to admit that he sure hid this from me. Really well. We'll be married 2yrs next month.. a...	Spanish Poppy	7	591	Jul 11, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	My daughter is amazing! And I had 2 dates! (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv_QAnViiHY&feature=colike	Breakingfree	7	384	Jul 11, 2012 by rara avis
	Still learning, moving forward (Preview) Step 4 was delivered to me at the right moment, my HP has been working overtime the past 5 days. There is nothing like reality to tell you exactly where you are. Im glad for the boundaries I had but they just didnt quite fit the need. I was able to get to recognize that my weak boundary was responsible for m...	AStrongerMe	7	508	Jul 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	The chatroom and I need to break up (Preview) I came to admit that I was powerless over the chatroom. I now need a power greater than myself to restore me to sanity. It's stuck on an endless Java load loop. We weren't meant to be...	AStrongerMe	6	505	Jul 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Some good ideas about dating/new relationships (Preview) I wish I had had this in front of me at a couple of odd junctures in my life. A lot of this is just basic common sense. And that's something that I was often lacking in after a disastrous relationship. Anybody who treated me halfway decently seemed like an answer to prayers. http://www.huffington...	Temple	4	454	Jul 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Resentment....... and keeping my side of the street clean (Preview) I have such a problem with resentments toward people that "get away" with actions that I think are so self seeking. I cannot find a way to "let it go" I have been praying to HP to help me to release these resentments and take care of and focus on my own life but I keep slipping back. It...	Gailey	9	2077	Jul 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	getting lost (Preview) Here is my pattern: I am involved with Al Anon for awhile, I feel much better, slowly I don't feel the need to check in daily or even weekly, think I'm doing fine, and then WHAM-I have a load of anger that is HUGE. So right now I have this sky-scraper of anger and I knew I had to get back here. It's been many m...	Lyne	3	390	Jul 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	call out of detox? left with frustration.... (Preview) my ABF is in detox this week, we were supposed not to talk to eachother, and I have hands full of work to do with myself nowadays, trying to focus on myself, but it's hard, because I miss him of course. I guess he feels the same. Today he called, and I guess i should have been smarter and not pick up, it's not th...	tortuga	3	478	Jul 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Counseling for yourself? (Preview) I am interested to hear your experience with counseling/therapy for yourself. Specifically those who wanted to go to counseling with their signifanct other, but they refused. Or thought their s/o (A or not an A) is the one who TRULY needed couseling, but refused to go so you went yourself. Did counse...	callmemara	5	909	Jul 11, 2012 by Pushka
	Drunk driving (Preview) Curious if anyone has turned in their A for drunk driving? Mine has been cuaght twice and got away with a huge wreck cuz dad covered for him. He continues to drive black out drunk weekly. I feel an obligation if I know he's drinking in driving to call the police, but sadly I am afraid this will create extrem...	IWannaFly	8	701	Jul 11, 2012 by Hot Chicka
	What is a Spiritual Life (Preview) I don't know why I have a hard time with this concept, but can someone explain what being spiritual means to them?	JJ21	6	639	Jul 11, 2012 by Oksie
	From alcoholic family to addict fiance. I think I just hit bottom. (Preview) I have been surrounded by alcoholism and addiction my entire life. My father was an alcoholic and my mother an addict. I'm engaged to a recovering addict. I didn't know her when she was using. I believed I had made a great decision being with someone who decided not to tolerate addiction in their l...	seablu	5	512	Jul 10, 2012 by seablu
	Quick tips, please (Preview) I am trying to just go about my business. It's not working. He paws at me and I ask him to stop. Then he yells at me and says, "Well, that's not very attractive." Then just now he had a fit because I wouldn't help him find his wallet. Then he found it and is going to the store for more booze. I feel lik...	katfshh	12	607	Jul 10, 2012 by katfshh
	Attitude (Preview) Getting ready to go do some contract work...head out the door to "out there". Had breakfast with my wife who gratefully left the ODAAT Al-Anon reader next to my breakfast place. She's a winner and so is that daily reader. If you don't have one get one and use it. After the page of the day I...	Jerry F	10	630	Jul 10, 2012 by Gailey
	Encouragement text? (Preview) I separated from my A, he's at his parents with a lot of drama since he left. Today he made a first step. Spoke with counselor at local addiction center, getting a sponsor, etc. I told him and this time I mean it, no contact until he gets pro help and begins to work on him. I would like to think part of his actio...	IWannaFly	4	652	Jul 10, 2012 by pinkchip
	I Put My Hand In Yours (Preview) I put my hand in yours, and together we can do what we could never do alone. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness, no longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower. We are all together now, reaching out our hands for power and strength greater than ours, and as we join hands, we find love a...	Tigger	3	837	Jul 10, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Face-to-face meeting question (Preview) I've been attending f2f meetings for almost 6 months now. I volunteered to co chair a beginners meeting tonight if there are any newcomers. I understand they share their story with the newcomers, but is there anythig else they must do? Thanks :)	Elizabeth10	0	368	Jul 9, 2012 by Elizabeth10
	Walking on Egg Shells (Preview) Hello, It's been a little while since I have made a post. Been working and busy with my 2 year old. My alcoholic boyfriend has made more of an effort to be sober lately. It went from coming home everyday to a drunk to more days he's sober. He was sick with the stomach flu but now he's been better so maybe that h...	LeahC	4	688	Jul 10, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	when should a wife call the AH's sponsor? (Preview) When you know he isn't coming home all night and know where the room he rented is.	FriendT	6	562	Jul 10, 2012 by FriendT
	My AM got kicked out of rehab today :( (Preview) I posted here once a few years ago and have been a lurker off and on ever since. Just needed a place to vent today... My AM has been drinking heavy for the past 10 years or so. In and out of rehab, jail, detox, etc. She's lost everything...a marriage, an engagement, houses, savings, jobs, relationships wi...	Daughter	3	550	Jul 10, 2012 by Tigger
	Newbie...went to 1st meeting and have some questions (Preview) I went to my first meeting last week and while I found the structure of the meeting comforting, I was also a little confused. Mainly, I was surprised there is not interaction with a person's "share". I expected discussion, questions, suggestions, or even encouragement after someone s...	juliebug72	4	509	Jul 10, 2012 by Too hard
	Detach or Tolerate? (Preview) That's the big question in my life right now. Do I stick around my sick family members or leave for a while? I've been in recovery for years and it took me a lot of hard work to accept, then work through the pain of, the truth. Some folks know the truth off the bat but in my case it was very well-hidden and they k...	WorkingThroughIt	6	776	Jul 9, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	Off the wall question .. LOL .. (Preview) Out of sheer curiosity .. does vodka freeze??? thanks P :)	Pushka	18	742	Jul 9, 2012 by Jackie11
	How about an update on my son (Preview) I'm switching games here today :) I also have a son with mental illness. It's either bipolar or schizophrenia, but typically the final diagnosis truly waits. But he can't function without a lot of heavy duty mood stabilizers and impulse meds. Heartbreaking really. He was sent to live with his gre...	AStrongerMe	2	456	Jul 9, 2012 by xeno59
	loving Dr.Jekyill, hating Mr Hyde! (Preview) Hello, this is my first try asking for help with Al-Anon, after so long time. I grew up in a family with always alcohol around. My father can't stop drinking, even if he's still one of the 'soft drinkers' I guess, still it's always there, always excuses. My mother always caring, spending a lot of energ...	tortuga	8	541	Jul 9, 2012 by tortuga
	being a sonsor (Preview) I've recently found our that my sponsee has asked someone to be her cosponsor. This person goes to a handleful of meetings a year and lives out of state 5-6 months out of the year. I work my program very differently than she does and I feel that meeting attendence is very important. My sponsee has also...	wheezy13	3	353	Jul 9, 2012 by maryjane
	A rollercoaster (Preview) Its amazing to me that when ive not been to a alanon family mtg in awhile how quickly I fall apart. The weekend was a rollercoaster. Alc husb spent much of juky fourth week drinking and socializing on the lake. I tolerate it for awhile and for the most part its all harmless but then again....its not. Sadly...	Theoceancalls	1	328	Jul 9, 2012 by maryjane
	Two years and little to NO change. Now what? (Preview) I am tired..frustrated...near the end of my patience. All I hear from my AH is that he is alone and blames friends and family for abandoning him while he is "sick" (we have been separated for a year, he's been trying to be sober for 2). I have heard it over and over for two years. When I ask, wha...	sookie	4	563	Jul 9, 2012 by maryjane
	First time here... (Preview) Feeling so very sad....need some advice	Tamster	15	523	Jul 9, 2012 by hotrod
	recovery (Preview) wow went to a step meeting today and then to a fellowship meetig was out most of the day. on way home my exabf family rang they had locked him out and he was kicking the door in, he had messaged and rang me but I was in my meetings. they rang the police and he has been arrested. His mum is 70 and his neice is 21 w...	Tracy	3	331	Jul 9, 2012 by ilovedogs
	What do you do when.. (Preview) they refuse to abide by your boundaries? I have repeatedly asked AH to not come near the kids or me when he has been drinking. We have a finished basement with an extra bed, tv, half bath, etc. He will not go down there. Will not leave the house either. Today I discovered he had been drinking while he w...	holivex	4	537	Jul 9, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Grateful for Today (Preview) 5 days after he put the loaded gun to his head I'm feeling the calm come back into my home. He's been gone at his parents since July 4th with all the chaotic drama. His parents were manipulated after the gun incident the very next day that he doesn't have a problem. When I woke up this morning I recieved the t...	IWannaFly	5	298	Jul 9, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	what is superman syndrom??? (Preview) so I was talking with a friend of mine and kindof going through the last week my wife going to rehab and staying with her for 12 years. he told me I suffered from "superman syndrom" and that i'm screwed. I wasn't happy with his assumption so I din't inquire further. So I thought I would go to a pla...	rellik	5	632	Jul 8, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	what should I do/expect (Preview) everything bottomed out four days ago. I told my wife we were done. she fell apart and checked into a hotel where she drank her self drunk everymorning for three days. I still couldn't pull myself away from her. So I went to her everyday to try and take care of her. I didn't want to have to tell our four kids t...	rellik	5	438	Jul 9, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Smashed my thumb, ouch! (Preview) What do you think God (HP) was trying to tell me? My AF left yesterday to ride his bike to the store for more booze. I fell back into my control freak mode and ran out to the garage. I was going to change the code on the garage door so he couldn't get back in. I grabbed the ladder and opened it. But, when I opened i...	katfshh	6	393	Jul 9, 2012 by katfshh
	Things are coming to an head here! (Preview) We have never been able to communicate, our behaviours have been immature and distructive, we have tried to resolve issues between ourselves, I realised I needed outside help to do that, it's very hard trusting people with your personal problems especially when you have to take them outside of the h...	Katy	2	465	Jul 9, 2012 by Breakingfree
	up all night (Preview) Wow, another sleepless night. Oh, if only I could get back all those wasted hours of no sleep from this terrible disease. It is 3:22 in the morning and I just figured out that my hp works in mysterious ways. Tonight my AH got drunk and high after taking a handful of xanax. I cannot believe he is still ali...	imom	6	612	Jul 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	Getting into Chatroom (Problem Solving) online Al-Anon meetings/chatroom (Preview) Hi everyone, the reason many are not able to get into the chat room for meetings is limited to 2 reasons for the most part. #1. Need to update/download Java software from http://java.com/en/download/index.jsp so you computer is running the most current version. #2. When the chatroom is loadin...	John	5	358	Jul 9, 2012 by GailMichelle
	He is here (Preview) He freaking just showed up. He is obnoxious and asking me what is for lunch, then turned on the stereo I have to get through this day without reacting. My daughter has my car, otherwise I would leave. I don't get this disease. It's really bizarre and seems to enjoy taking others along for the ride.	katfshh	9	590	Jul 8, 2012 by katfshh
	I have to let her go (Preview) I am so sad. I know now that I can no longer stay married to my AW. I had been keeping it in the back of my mind for some time, not wanting to make a rash decision. I have been trying my best to make myself better but I cannot do it with her in my day to day life .I have been trying to make our marriage better but she on...	Country Boy	15	646	Jul 8, 2012 by rellik
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.