Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Chaya · Chaya

Last night I dreamt of telling my ex on the phone how much he hurt me in the relationship and his inability to love another person, when suddenly his new gf gets on the phone and tells me before abruptly hanging up, "I feel loved by him." I woke up not knowing if it really happened as it was such a r...

Jessamine · Jessamine

I've been attending meetings since August but have struggled with the idea of taking the leap into working the steps. In recent weeks I've come to realize that the promises in step 3 are what I long for. I found a gal I can relate to and we talked a handful of times before I asked her to be my sponsor. We spent...

silent · silent

he has drank ad slept most of day ,decided he wanted a joint to smoke so called up someone he knew that could get him to one ,wanted me to go to drive him and i said no i didnt want to go over to where his freinds were ,he got mad and stomped out ,slammeing the door,he didnt want to drive cause he had been drinknin...

callmemara · callmemara

When discussing the first step, someone in my meeting said "powerless doesn't mean helpless" I like the way this sounds but don't understand what it means in reality. Any thoughts or an example would be nice if you care to share! thanks!~

Jennifer · Jennifer

I took every precaution to protect a certain portion of my life and laid out the boundary with well defined lines and consequences when i made the decision to stay a part of my exAH's support system. He knew them and crossed them. I handled it well the other day. Compassion, simple explanation and sever...

Eddie1248 · Eddie1248

Hey guys, I am going to ask a very basic question. I already know the answer to it, but sometimes it helps to get everyone else's input. My AW planned a cook-out for all of my family for this weekend. We were going to pick up my parents and my sister and meet at my grandmother's house about 90 out of town. ...

grannylips · grannylips

My 36 year old daughter is an alcoholic with 2 children in the home with her and her boyfriend who is the father of one child. I worry constantly about the kids. i have tried to make her see the damage the drinking is doing to her and her children. I try not to enable her but I have the children alot because of h...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Post if you agree w/ me that what goes around comes around. I had an experience w/ this just yesterday. Now to some folks finding money is not the biggest deal ever but I did yesterday. I believe that if I continue on the path I am on many blessings will come my way. I am already blessed beyond belief! I have t...

JJ21 · JJ21

All literature and doctors state that alcholism is a progessive disease. How long does it take to progress? How long are they generally in a stage, before it moves forward. I've had relatives that drank into their 70's. They were mentally imparied, but still held jobs and no major health issues...

kimberlyrt · kimberlyrt

My AH and I have had struggles with this disease for about 2-3 years now. He would binge drink for weeks then "stop" then go right back to it. It was a living nightmare. He was never violent, just passed out and our 4 year old son had to watch it all, and I could not control the rage that came over me...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

The topic in my meeting last night was focusing on yourself. We read the 12/29 entry in Courage to Change, which concludes with the quote "A man can see a speck on someone's hair, but cannot see the flies on his own nose". It's a great quote for me and a great topic for me as for really my entire ad...

Hopeful06 · Hopeful06

Hi, I'll try to keep this brief but am looking for some perspective with my current situation. I have been off and on with an alcoholic boyfriend for almost two years who I love very much. I've broken up with him several times as he was too deep in his disease (benzos, alcohol). In January he went to rehab f...

oldhippie · oldhippie

Been attending alanaon for few mts, my group consist of all married women with AH,, i attend because of my 33 yr old son,,having a hard time with powerless, first instinct is to rescue child when falling down,, no compassion for mothers,, is there literature that would help Moms??

Pushka · Pushka

I have to put this down in words .. oi .. the fact that I am semi normal or maybe I'm just this side of dysfunctional as a norm. There is a HUGE reason I have been in and out of therapy as long as I have. Anyway, my aunt passed away the other day and it's been kind of rough. I'm dealing with discovery paperwork a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have been in my new town for a month and well I have my 3rd date with guy number 3 tonight. Guy number 1 didn't make it to date number 2, guy number 2 I had a 3rd date with yesterday, guy number 3 is a first date tonight. I have been divorced for a year on the 19th of this month and have held off to work the steps a...

1911A1 · 1911A1

These were my personal Twelve Steps of Dysfunction. Maybe you can relate... 1. I admitted that I was powerless over EVERYTHING - in fact, people, places and things all had power over me. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than myself didn't give a flip about me - I was completely alone and on my own....

Pushka · Pushka

My great aunt passed away today. It has been a rough week, ... thank goodness for faith in HP (God). It's funny (ironic) how things work out as far as what you think you want and then what the reality is, had things worked out the way they were suppose to the kids and I would have been headed to CA today, my m...

canadianguy · canadianguy

There are lots of great books in our program, but for me, I still find the daily reader "Courage to Change" to be outstanding.... I keep it beside my bed, and try to read it most days..... whenever I am pondering or struggling with a certain issue or concept, the index at the back of the book is...

Gailey · Gailey

HP keeps putting things in front of me that are helping so much We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% wha...

tortuga · tortuga

today is the day, ABF got out of detox. I was prepared for this day...it's only day 5 without the poison, and these days are supposedly painful. But I guess I wasn't prepared enough. Of course he accuses me, telling me that I'm at the source of his frustration, because I made him realize how dependent he w...

hotrod · hotrod

TRADITION 6 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. i I FOUND THAT UNDERSTANDING THESE tradition's REALLY HELPED ME OPERATE IN GROUP AND FAMILY SETTINGS. I HAVE HEARD THAT THE STEPS KEEP US FROM SUICIDE AND THE TRADITIONS KEEP US FROM HOMOCIDE. http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50008403/tr...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I moved out from my AH 2 years ago...began a new life and tried to maintain some parts of our marriage (like a good friend) . My H has been hospitalized 4 times this year....alcohol related injuries, and hallucinations. Everytime they detox him he goes right back drinking. We're talking about a non fun...

CDK · CDK

Before I left my exA, I wouldnt havr described myself as angry. Depressed and anxious, absolutely. But, I feel like Ive become an angry person since. Im angry not just at him, but also at my friends who were supportive of me during the relationship, but have since dumped me because they couldny control...

rehprof · rehprof

Next week I have to be away for business. My exA will be staying at my house to care for the kids and the animals. I feel I have no other choices...I couldn't find anyone to care for my dog. The nearest kennel is 90 minutes away. So, yesterday, I slipped...I'm so scared about next week..mostly afraid he wil...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

what a wonderful day this is but then can't all days be wonderful if we make them that way & if we don't we can start our days over! I am so grateful that I can rest even if I don't get my nap on Thurs mornings. I am not a morning person & of course getting up early once a week can be a trial for me. I go to a we...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

Hi everyone I was here a quite a few years ago because of an ex relationship with an addict/alcoholic and i am back because i am now struggling with my moms abuse of prescription drugs. this is a completely different situation for me and im really at a loss of how to handle things. i need to relearn letting...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I come to the conclusion so often that I am done, I've had enough but I always stay. For the ones of you that made the break, did you do the same thing for a while or did you make the decision once and act on it immediately? Also, do you ever have doubts that you did the right thing?

Tigger · Tigger

Hello (((all))) Does anyone have any tips on raising self esteem? This evening i found myself in floods of tears, sobbing, because I was caught off guard by something my partner said. I think it reminded me of something my A dad would say in the past, because it really hit a nerve and I started hitting mys...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha All...most of you know the 9th step the wording and intent. I've had a long 3 decade relationship with it and with asking for the guidance from my HP on one especially. It is 38 years old and happened during the drinking years...my alcoholic girl friend's and mine. It happened in a foreign cou...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everyone, I've been out of the loop and this is just an update for the curious. Didn't want to worry anyone so here I am! Basically I've been getting my life back together, which is improving but feels like a sloooooow crawl. My main obstacle has been depression, styled in the, " I'm 41, child...

texasgal · texasgal

I have been offline for a few days. I downgraded my phone plan so all I have is texting and calling to save $$. I also do not have internet at home. I was too obsessed with the internet and trying to find out any new info on my husbands "friend" on FB. I am just living one hour at a time and doing for...

JJ21 · JJ21

Why is it easier for me to set boundries, move on and take care of myself when I feel anger towards the A. When I feel compassion and try to detach nicely, I feel hurt and weak for myself and the A. When I'm angry, I go into self protection mode and know how to get motivated to take care of myself and not be tak...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi I have been on this board now for one year. Different log names and such. wow... I remember sitting here typing away with tears rolling down my face. The door to my office shut. Wanting to die and/or crawl into the corner and forget I even existed. I didn't know if I wanted to stay married.. divorce....

grayduchess · grayduchess

I just found this board today. I've been Interneting searching for weeks looking for help to pull myself together. Really don't know how I missed this! I'm a mess. I've been drinking hard. Although I've been in and out of a bottle since I was 14, I have never before drank before work but I've went to work t...

MLC256 · MLC256

Alcoholism and the Insanity of the Disease I am 51 years old and have been sober since 1984. My brother is also an alcoholic and dying from this disease. He was diagnosed with liver failure and damage that almost killed him 9 years ago. He quit drinking, but left treatment and dropped AA after a few month...

katfshh · katfshh

Every time I fall asleep I have a nightmare. I fell asleep about an hour ago and dreamed that my exAF slit my throat.(He has never been physically violent) The other day I dreamed that there were wild animals in my house as pets and they went crazy and started attacking me. There are more, but you get the p...

CDK · CDK

I dont know where this is coming from for sure, so I am taking it here. Its been almost two months of no contact with my exA. Even longer since we had a "normal happy" for us conversation. Right now, right in this moment I miss him. I just want to text him and be like "Hi baby!". Like we u...

rellik · rellik

I have my first Al Anon meeting tonight. Very apprehensive about it all. I was able to talk to my wife for the first time in two days. Not talking to her and being worried about her condition in rehab put me on edge. I jumped all over my kids and myself. Nothing was right and it was either their fault or mine. I...

rondap59 · rondap59

I am learning slowly but surely how not to enable my ah. He moved into the garage about 6 weeks ago suppopsedly to have the time and space to work on himself. Working on himself has consisted of getting drunk every night with his husband and wife drinking buddies down the street and stumbling into the g...

JJ21 · JJ21

Started seeing ex 3 months ago on weekends, we live six hours apart. He wanted us to get back together immediately. I stalled on this, as I didn't want to move back there where I have no family/friends and he is drinking. He was going to attend counseling and we were working on moving back here in a few mont...

katfshh · katfshh

Today is a better day for me. Last night was tough. I actually told family and friends that I am no longer engaged and no longer in a relationship. I even changed my Facebook status! LOL. The outpouring of love and support from all of my friends, family, and co-workers is such a blessing. I can't even beli...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH is in sales and qualifies for a work related trip every year. They have them in October and this years trip is to Costa Rica. I would love to go to Costa Rica but I really don't feel ready to go on a 5 day trip with him right now. I'd be expected to go to dinners with the president of the company, have to s...

rellik · rellik

I'm new and lost. I was all set to go to my first meeting Tuesday night and start my own recovery while my wife attends rehab. I just found out I will be out of state for the next two weeks. I have searched and I cannot locate a meeting in Ontario Oregon. Does anyone here know of a meeting that I could attend in t...

Lyne · Lyne

So tonight my spouse is going out with the couple who ignited her last drinking period, which is lasting into its 7th yr. I refuse to go out with these people even though it is not their fault. I've been unhappy all day but at least I wasn't lied to. I also see progress in myself because i'm not panicked,...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

Situation: hubby had major heart surgery last month and is scheduled for another heart procedure in less than a wk. He's having some serious angina symptoms and the dr has told him to stay calm, quiet & get lots of rest prior to this upcoming procedure. Ex daughter in law has been in a major meth me...

Spanish Poppy · Spanish Poppy

Reply Quote Edit Post Not sure how to start here. If it's not one type of something it's another that he pulls out for a while. Then it seems to go into regression and then 'bam' he's slurry and ack again. I have to admit that he sure hid this from me. Really well. We'll be married 2yrs next month.. a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv_QAnViiHY&feature=colike

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Step 4 was delivered to me at the right moment, my HP has been working overtime the past 5 days. There is nothing like reality to tell you exactly where you are. Im glad for the boundaries I had but they just didnt quite fit the need. I was able to get to recognize that my weak boundary was responsible for m...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I came to admit that I was powerless over the chatroom. I now need a power greater than myself to restore me to sanity. It's stuck on an endless Java load loop. We weren't meant to be...

Temple · Temple

I wish I had had this in front of me at a couple of odd junctures in my life. A lot of this is just basic common sense. And that's something that I was often lacking in after a disastrous relationship. Anybody who treated me halfway decently seemed like an answer to prayers. http://www.huffington...

Gailey · Gailey

I have such a problem with resentments toward people that "get away" with actions that I think are so self seeking. I cannot find a way to "let it go" I have been praying to HP to help me to release these resentments and take care of and focus on my own life but I keep slipping back. It...

Lyne · Lyne

Here is my pattern: I am involved with Al Anon for awhile, I feel much better, slowly I don't feel the need to check in daily or even weekly, think I'm doing fine, and then WHAM-I have a load of anger that is HUGE. So right now I have this sky-scraper of anger and I knew I had to get back here. It's been many m...

tortuga · tortuga

my ABF is in detox this week, we were supposed not to talk to eachother, and I have hands full of work to do with myself nowadays, trying to focus on myself, but it's hard, because I miss him of course. I guess he feels the same. Today he called, and I guess i should have been smarter and not pick up, it's not th...

callmemara · callmemara

I am interested to hear your experience with counseling/therapy for yourself. Specifically those who wanted to go to counseling with their signifanct other, but they refused. Or thought their s/o (A or not an A) is the one who TRULY needed couseling, but refused to go so you went yourself. Did counse...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

Curious if anyone has turned in their A for drunk driving? Mine has been cuaght twice and got away with a huge wreck cuz dad covered for him. He continues to drive black out drunk weekly. I feel an obligation if I know he's drinking in driving to call the police, but sadly I am afraid this will create extrem...

JJ21 · JJ21

I don't know why I have a hard time with this concept, but can someone explain what being spiritual means to them?

seablu · seablu

I have been surrounded by alcoholism and addiction my entire life. My father was an alcoholic and my mother an addict. I'm engaged to a recovering addict. I didn't know her when she was using. I believed I had made a great decision being with someone who decided not to tolerate addiction in their l...

katfshh · katfshh

I am trying to just go about my business. It's not working. He paws at me and I ask him to stop. Then he yells at me and says, "Well, that's not very attractive." Then just now he had a fit because I wouldn't help him find his wallet. Then he found it and is going to the store for more booze. I feel lik...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Getting ready to go do some contract work...head out the door to "out there". Had breakfast with my wife who gratefully left the ODAAT Al-Anon reader next to my breakfast place. She's a winner and so is that daily reader. If you don't have one get one and use it. After the page of the day I...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

I separated from my A, he's at his parents with a lot of drama since he left. Today he made a first step. Spoke with counselor at local addiction center, getting a sponsor, etc. I told him and this time I mean it, no contact until he gets pro help and begins to work on him. I would like to think part of his actio...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Dreaming of hurt, waking up with resentment (Preview) Last night I dreamt of telling my ex on the phone how much he hurt me in the relationship and his inability to love another person, when suddenly his new gf gets on the phone and tells me before abruptly hanging up, "I feel loved by him." I woke up not knowing if it really happened as it was such a r...	Chaya	2	346	Jul 15, 2012 by JJ21
	Fear or Regret? Step 3 (Preview) I've been attending meetings since August but have struggled with the idea of taking the leap into working the steps. In recent weeks I've come to realize that the promises in step 3 are what I long for. I found a gal I can relate to and we talked a handful of times before I asked her to be my sponsor. We spent...	Jessamine	6	1065	Jul 15, 2012 by Jessamine
	a/bf is about to be at itagin (Preview) he has drank ad slept most of day ,decided he wanted a joint to smoke so called up someone he knew that could get him to one ,wanted me to go to drive him and i said no i didnt want to go over to where his freinds were ,he got mad and stomped out ,slammeing the door,he didnt want to drive cause he had been drinknin...	silent	9	670	Jul 15, 2012 by pinkchip
	Powerless not helpless (Preview) When discussing the first step, someone in my meeting said "powerless doesn't mean helpless" I like the way this sounds but don't understand what it means in reality. Any thoughts or an example would be nice if you care to share! thanks!~	callmemara	7	3800	Jul 15, 2012 by callmemara
	Vent (Preview) I took every precaution to protect a certain portion of my life and laid out the boundary with well defined lines and consequences when i made the decision to stay a part of my exAH's support system. He knew them and crossed them. I handled it well the other day. Compassion, simple explanation and sever...	Jennifer	4	520	Jul 15, 2012 by Jennifer
	Need a little advise on a tough decision (Preview) Hey guys, I am going to ask a very basic question. I already know the answer to it, but sometimes it helps to get everyone else's input. My AW planned a cook-out for all of my family for this weekend. We were going to pick up my parents and my sister and meet at my grandmother's house about 90 out of town. ...	Eddie1248	11	751	Jul 15, 2012 by hotrod
	My grandchildren with their alcoholic mother,my daughter. (Preview) My 36 year old daughter is an alcoholic with 2 children in the home with her and her boyfriend who is the father of one child. I worry constantly about the kids. i have tried to make her see the damage the drinking is doing to her and her children. I try not to enable her but I have the children alot because of h...	grannylips	3	4199	Jul 14, 2012 by grannylips
	what goes around comes around, right? (Preview) Post if you agree w/ me that what goes around comes around. I had an experience w/ this just yesterday. Now to some folks finding money is not the biggest deal ever but I did yesterday. I believe that if I continue on the path I am on many blessings will come my way. I am already blessed beyond belief! I have t...	Hoot Nanny	4	407	Jul 14, 2012 by Bettina
	Progressive Disease? (Preview) All literature and doctors state that alcholism is a progessive disease. How long does it take to progress? How long are they generally in a stage, before it moves forward. I've had relatives that drank into their 70's. They were mentally imparied, but still held jobs and no major health issues...	JJ21	9	625	Jul 14, 2012 by Chaya
	Recovery then Relapse (Preview) My AH and I have had struggles with this disease for about 2-3 years now. He would binge drink for weeks then "stop" then go right back to it. It was a living nightmare. He was never violent, just passed out and our 4 year old son had to watch it all, and I could not control the rage that came over me...	kimberlyrt	11	579	Jul 14, 2012 by grayduchess
	Focusing on yourself (Preview) The topic in my meeting last night was focusing on yourself. We read the 12/29 entry in Courage to Change, which concludes with the quote "A man can see a speck on someone's hair, but cannot see the flies on his own nose". It's a great quote for me and a great topic for me as for really my entire ad...	usedtobeanyer	6	589	Jul 14, 2012 by Jerry F
	New to this and need to make a decision to stay or go (Preview) Hi, I'll try to keep this brief but am looking for some perspective with my current situation. I have been off and on with an alcoholic boyfriend for almost two years who I love very much. I've broken up with him several times as he was too deep in his disease (benzos, alcohol). In January he went to rehab f...	Hopeful06	6	607	Jul 14, 2012 by Jerry F
	meetings? (Preview) Been attending alanaon for few mts, my group consist of all married women with AH,, i attend because of my 33 yr old son,,having a hard time with powerless, first instinct is to rescue child when falling down,, no compassion for mothers,, is there literature that would help Moms??	oldhippie	8	462	Jul 14, 2012 by xeno59
	Morbid story .. funny in a you gotta know my family .. (Preview) I have to put this down in words .. oi .. the fact that I am semi normal or maybe I'm just this side of dysfunctional as a norm. There is a HUGE reason I have been in and out of therapy as long as I have. Anyway, my aunt passed away the other day and it's been kind of rough. I'm dealing with discovery paperwork a...	Pushka	8	633	Jul 14, 2012 by amills4294
	Impulsive much? (Preview) I have been in my new town for a month and well I have my 3rd date with guy number 3 tonight. Guy number 1 didn't make it to date number 2, guy number 2 I had a 3rd date with yesterday, guy number 3 is a first date tonight. I have been divorced for a year on the 19th of this month and have held off to work the steps a...	Breakingfree	6	636	Jul 14, 2012 by Pushka
	My 12 Steps prior to recovery (Preview) These were my personal Twelve Steps of Dysfunction. Maybe you can relate... 1. I admitted that I was powerless over EVERYTHING - in fact, people, places and things all had power over me. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than myself didn't give a flip about me - I was completely alone and on my own....	1911A1	7	453	Jul 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	It's been a week .. (Preview) My great aunt passed away today. It has been a rough week, ... thank goodness for faith in HP (God). It's funny (ironic) how things work out as far as what you think you want and then what the reality is, had things worked out the way they were suppose to the kids and I would have been headed to CA today, my m...	Pushka	7	508	Jul 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Courage to Change (Preview) There are lots of great books in our program, but for me, I still find the daily reader "Courage to Change" to be outstanding.... I keep it beside my bed, and try to read it most days..... whenever I am pondering or struggling with a certain issue or concept, the index at the back of the book is...	canadianguy	8	461	Jul 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	since my post on resentments...... (Preview) HP keeps putting things in front of me that are helping so much We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% wha...	Gailey	2	437	Jul 14, 2012 by Jerry F
	‘I was a happy person with alcohol before I met you’ (Preview) today is the day, ABF got out of detox. I was prepared for this day...it's only day 5 without the poison, and these days are supposedly painful. But I guess I wasn't prepared enough. Of course he accuses me, telling me that I'm at the source of his frustration, because I made him realize how dependent he w...	tortuga	6	619	Jul 14, 2012 by Jerry F
	TRADITION 6 (Preview) TRADITION 6 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. i I FOUND THAT UNDERSTANDING THESE tradition's REALLY HELPED ME OPERATE IN GROUP AND FAMILY SETTINGS. I HAVE HEARD THAT THE STEPS KEEP US FROM SUICIDE AND THE TRADITIONS KEEP US FROM HOMOCIDE. http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50008403/tr...	hotrod	1	1068	Jul 14, 2012 by Wolfie55
	the Dilemma of the alcoholic marriage (Preview) I moved out from my AH 2 years ago...began a new life and tried to maintain some parts of our marriage (like a good friend) . My H has been hospitalized 4 times this year....alcohol related injuries, and hallucinations. Everytime they detox him he goes right back drinking. We're talking about a non fun...	alexmaui	6	773	Jul 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Where did this anger come from? (Preview) Before I left my exA, I wouldnt havr described myself as angry. Depressed and anxious, absolutely. But, I feel like Ive become an angry person since. Im angry not just at him, but also at my friends who were supportive of me during the relationship, but have since dumped me because they couldny control...	CDK	10	662	Jul 13, 2012 by pinkchip
	I looked.... (Preview) Next week I have to be away for business. My exA will be staying at my house to care for the kids and the animals. I feel I have no other choices...I couldn't find anyone to care for my dog. The nearest kennel is 90 minutes away. So, yesterday, I slipped...I'm so scared about next week..mostly afraid he wil...	rehprof	7	750	Jul 13, 2012 by Debilyn
	what a wonderful day! (Preview) what a wonderful day this is but then can't all days be wonderful if we make them that way & if we don't we can start our days over! I am so grateful that I can rest even if I don't get my nap on Thurs mornings. I am not a morning person & of course getting up early once a week can be a trial for me. I go to a we...	Hoot Nanny	3	464	Jul 13, 2012 by Jerry F
	I'm back and in a new situation (Preview) Hi everyone I was here a quite a few years ago because of an ex relationship with an addict/alcoholic and i am back because i am now struggling with my moms abuse of prescription drugs. this is a completely different situation for me and im really at a loss of how to handle things. i need to relearn letting...	notsonew1111	3	583	Jul 13, 2012 by callmemara
	? for Those Who Have Made the Break (Preview) I come to the conclusion so often that I am done, I've had enough but I always stay. For the ones of you that made the break, did you do the same thing for a while or did you make the decision once and act on it immediately? Also, do you ever have doubts that you did the right thing?	WornOutMrsFixIt	14	762	Jul 13, 2012 by callmemara
	Self esteem (Preview) Hello (((all))) Does anyone have any tips on raising self esteem? This evening i found myself in floods of tears, sobbing, because I was caught off guard by something my partner said. I think it reminded me of something my A dad would say in the past, because it really hit a nerve and I started hitting mys...	Tigger	14	1179	Jul 13, 2012 by Tigger
	A 9th step progress... (Preview) Aloha All...most of you know the 9th step the wording and intent. I've had a long 3 decade relationship with it and with asking for the guidance from my HP on one especially. It is 38 years old and happened during the drinking years...my alcoholic girl friend's and mine. It happened in a foreign cou...	Jerry F	5	517	Jul 13, 2012 by Pushka
	Been out of loop, update (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been out of the loop and this is just an update for the curious. Didn't want to worry anyone so here I am! Basically I've been getting my life back together, which is improving but feels like a sloooooow crawl. My main obstacle has been depression, styled in the, " I'm 41, child...	rara avis	4	452	Jul 13, 2012 by Pushka
	Living just one day at a time (Preview) I have been offline for a few days. I downgraded my phone plan so all I have is texting and calling to save $$. I also do not have internet at home. I was too obsessed with the internet and trying to find out any new info on my husbands "friend" on FB. I am just living one hour at a time and doing for...	texasgal	3	459	Jul 13, 2012 by Pushka
	Why is it easier to feel Anger vs. Compassion for the Disease (Preview) Why is it easier for me to set boundries, move on and take care of myself when I feel anger towards the A. When I feel compassion and try to detach nicely, I feel hurt and weak for myself and the A. When I'm angry, I go into self protection mode and know how to get motivated to take care of myself and not be tak...	JJ21	11	834	Jul 13, 2012 by abbyal
	Anniversary (Preview) Hi I have been on this board now for one year. Different log names and such. wow... I remember sitting here typing away with tears rolling down my face. The door to my office shut. Wanting to die and/or crawl into the corner and forget I even existed. I didn't know if I wanted to stay married.. divorce....	Oksie	9	565	Jul 13, 2012 by hotrod
	New here but not new to the mess... (Preview) I just found this board today. I've been Interneting searching for weeks looking for help to pull myself together. Really don't know how I missed this! I'm a mess. I've been drinking hard. Although I've been in and out of a bottle since I was 14, I have never before drank before work but I've went to work t...	grayduchess	4	416	Jul 13, 2012 by Mattie
	Loved one dying from drinking (Preview) Alcoholism and the Insanity of the Disease I am 51 years old and have been sober since 1984. My brother is also an alcoholic and dying from this disease. He was diagnosed with liver failure and damage that almost killed him 9 years ago. He quit drinking, but left treatment and dropped AA after a few month...	MLC256	5	640	Jul 12, 2012 by hotrod
	Constant Nightmares (Preview) Every time I fall asleep I have a nightmare. I fell asleep about an hour ago and dreamed that my exAF slit my throat.(He has never been physically violent) The other day I dreamed that there were wild animals in my house as pets and they went crazy and started attacking me. There are more, but you get the p...	katfshh	20	810	Jul 12, 2012 by pinkchip
	Today's irrational thought... (Preview) I dont know where this is coming from for sure, so I am taking it here. Its been almost two months of no contact with my exA. Even longer since we had a "normal happy" for us conversation. Right now, right in this moment I miss him. I just want to text him and be like "Hi baby!". Like we u...	CDK	5	484	Jul 12, 2012 by pinkchip
	First group meeting tonight (Preview) I have my first Al Anon meeting tonight. Very apprehensive about it all. I was able to talk to my wife for the first time in two days. Not talking to her and being worried about her condition in rehab put me on edge. I jumped all over my kids and myself. Nothing was right and it was either their fault or mine. I...	rellik	3	441	Jul 12, 2012 by Jerry F
	How do I clarify what enabling is (Preview) I am learning slowly but surely how not to enable my ah. He moved into the garage about 6 weeks ago suppopsedly to have the time and space to work on himself. Working on himself has consisted of getting drunk every night with his husband and wife drinking buddies down the street and stumbling into the g...	rondap59	9	771	Jul 12, 2012 by Jerry F
	Humiliated by Alcohol again (Preview) Started seeing ex 3 months ago on weekends, we live six hours apart. He wanted us to get back together immediately. I stalled on this, as I didn't want to move back there where I have no family/friends and he is drinking. He was going to attend counseling and we were working on moving back here in a few mont...	JJ21	6	586	Jul 12, 2012 by Mattie
	Better..engagement off. (Preview) Today is a better day for me. Last night was tough. I actually told family and friends that I am no longer engaged and no longer in a relationship. I even changed my Facebook status! LOL. The outpouring of love and support from all of my friends, family, and co-workers is such a blessing. I can't even beli...	katfshh	13	657	Jul 12, 2012 by callmemara
	Hmm, considering giving up our trip to Costa Rica (Preview) My AH is in sales and qualifies for a work related trip every year. They have them in October and this years trip is to Costa Rica. I would love to go to Costa Rica but I really don't feel ready to go on a 5 day trip with him right now. I'd be expected to go to dinners with the president of the company, have to s...	ilovedogs	7	634	Jul 12, 2012 by callmemara
	I NEED to find a meeting!!! (Preview) I'm new and lost. I was all set to go to my first meeting Tuesday night and start my own recovery while my wife attends rehab. I just found out I will be out of state for the next two weeks. I have searched and I cannot locate a meeting in Ontario Oregon. Does anyone here know of a meeting that I could attend in t...	rellik	2	451	Jul 12, 2012 by rellik
	unhappy but coping (Preview) So tonight my spouse is going out with the couple who ignited her last drinking period, which is lasting into its 7th yr. I refuse to go out with these people even though it is not their fault. I've been unhappy all day but at least I wasn't lied to. I also see progress in myself because i'm not panicked,...	Lyne	2	433	Jul 12, 2012 by rellik
	Need to control in full bloom (Preview) Situation: hubby had major heart surgery last month and is scheduled for another heart procedure in less than a wk. He's having some serious angina symptoms and the dr has told him to stay calm, quiet & get lots of rest prior to this upcoming procedure. Ex daughter in law has been in a major meth me...	Path to Serenity	6	536	Jul 12, 2012 by rellik
	My husband is the 'addict' and I'm a little angry, I think (Preview) Reply Quote Edit Post Not sure how to start here. If it's not one type of something it's another that he pulls out for a while. Then it seems to go into regression and then 'bam' he's slurry and ack again. I have to admit that he sure hid this from me. Really well. We'll be married 2yrs next month.. a...	Spanish Poppy	7	666	Jul 11, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	My daughter is amazing! And I had 2 dates! (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv_QAnViiHY&feature=colike	Breakingfree	7	458	Jul 11, 2012 by rara avis
	Still learning, moving forward (Preview) Step 4 was delivered to me at the right moment, my HP has been working overtime the past 5 days. There is nothing like reality to tell you exactly where you are. Im glad for the boundaries I had but they just didnt quite fit the need. I was able to get to recognize that my weak boundary was responsible for m...	AStrongerMe	7	571	Jul 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	The chatroom and I need to break up (Preview) I came to admit that I was powerless over the chatroom. I now need a power greater than myself to restore me to sanity. It's stuck on an endless Java load loop. We weren't meant to be...	AStrongerMe	6	574	Jul 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Some good ideas about dating/new relationships (Preview) I wish I had had this in front of me at a couple of odd junctures in my life. A lot of this is just basic common sense. And that's something that I was often lacking in after a disastrous relationship. Anybody who treated me halfway decently seemed like an answer to prayers. http://www.huffington...	Temple	4	521	Jul 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Resentment....... and keeping my side of the street clean (Preview) I have such a problem with resentments toward people that "get away" with actions that I think are so self seeking. I cannot find a way to "let it go" I have been praying to HP to help me to release these resentments and take care of and focus on my own life but I keep slipping back. It...	Gailey	9	2240	Jul 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	getting lost (Preview) Here is my pattern: I am involved with Al Anon for awhile, I feel much better, slowly I don't feel the need to check in daily or even weekly, think I'm doing fine, and then WHAM-I have a load of anger that is HUGE. So right now I have this sky-scraper of anger and I knew I had to get back here. It's been many m...	Lyne	3	459	Jul 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	call out of detox? left with frustration.... (Preview) my ABF is in detox this week, we were supposed not to talk to eachother, and I have hands full of work to do with myself nowadays, trying to focus on myself, but it's hard, because I miss him of course. I guess he feels the same. Today he called, and I guess i should have been smarter and not pick up, it's not th...	tortuga	3	544	Jul 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Counseling for yourself? (Preview) I am interested to hear your experience with counseling/therapy for yourself. Specifically those who wanted to go to counseling with their signifanct other, but they refused. Or thought their s/o (A or not an A) is the one who TRULY needed couseling, but refused to go so you went yourself. Did counse...	callmemara	5	979	Jul 11, 2012 by Pushka
	Drunk driving (Preview) Curious if anyone has turned in their A for drunk driving? Mine has been cuaght twice and got away with a huge wreck cuz dad covered for him. He continues to drive black out drunk weekly. I feel an obligation if I know he's drinking in driving to call the police, but sadly I am afraid this will create extrem...	IWannaFly	8	772	Jul 11, 2012 by Hot Chicka
	What is a Spiritual Life (Preview) I don't know why I have a hard time with this concept, but can someone explain what being spiritual means to them?	JJ21	6	723	Jul 11, 2012 by Oksie
	From alcoholic family to addict fiance. I think I just hit bottom. (Preview) I have been surrounded by alcoholism and addiction my entire life. My father was an alcoholic and my mother an addict. I'm engaged to a recovering addict. I didn't know her when she was using. I believed I had made a great decision being with someone who decided not to tolerate addiction in their l...	seablu	5	582	Jul 10, 2012 by seablu
	Quick tips, please (Preview) I am trying to just go about my business. It's not working. He paws at me and I ask him to stop. Then he yells at me and says, "Well, that's not very attractive." Then just now he had a fit because I wouldn't help him find his wallet. Then he found it and is going to the store for more booze. I feel lik...	katfshh	12	672	Jul 10, 2012 by katfshh
	Attitude (Preview) Getting ready to go do some contract work...head out the door to "out there". Had breakfast with my wife who gratefully left the ODAAT Al-Anon reader next to my breakfast place. She's a winner and so is that daily reader. If you don't have one get one and use it. After the page of the day I...	Jerry F	10	699	Jul 10, 2012 by Gailey
	Encouragement text? (Preview) I separated from my A, he's at his parents with a lot of drama since he left. Today he made a first step. Spoke with counselor at local addiction center, getting a sponsor, etc. I told him and this time I mean it, no contact until he gets pro help and begins to work on him. I would like to think part of his actio...	IWannaFly	4	722	Jul 10, 2012 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.