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Why make the quality of my day contingent on someone else's mood or behavior?
(Preview)
I've been reading through the posts lately and I see many discussions that brought me back to my days living with the AH. It is amazing how powerful this disease is. It takes over this one single, unfortunate person and turns them into the axis of their family and friends. If the A isn't happy, then by gos...
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Aloha
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10
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602
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How do you know when it is time to leave?
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I am new here and have not yet attended a real Al-Anon meeting yet. I married my wife 11 years ago, and have two step-children. The first thing I noticed was that she liked to drink. Not often, but when she did it was binge drinking, until she passed out. About our fourth year of marriage, h...
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Eddie1248
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20
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1112
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Self Assessment
(Preview)
A couple of weeks ago, I injured my hand - was cleaning out one of those box fans & accidentaly stuck my thumb right into the darned fan blades - cut & mangled it pretty bad & had to go to ER. I've been on pain pills for almost two wks and found myself taking another pill even when I was totall...
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Path to Serenity
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5
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575
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DO OUR MEETINGS DESERVE YOUR SUPPORT???
(Preview)
The summer has demands on all of us. While I gladly accepted the chair of three meetings, a couple for the summer, I'm not a roomsitter. Wednesday, I was the only one there for the entire schedule meeting time. Please take the time to make at least one meeting a week online to be there for new...
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Fina
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13
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744
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Its Just A Coincidence I know
(Preview)
Hello ladies. Yeah, the guys too. I been away. Life has been in my way. Or I been in my way. June was a long month. I lost my job at the recovery house. Its a long story best reserved for private messages. you all know who you are. I decided to put my ability to write to a good use. I got back into the business of b...
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Wolfie55
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3
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797
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TENTATIVE AGENDA FOR JULY MEETING
(Preview)
Here is an outline of the agenda for the next Business Meeting. Please leave any business you would like on the agenda for this meeting. Agenda for June 3, 2012 Alanon Business Meeting1. Opening with Serenity Prayer2. Program3. Reading corrected of last meeting4. Accepta...
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Fina
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3
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363
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Friend fall out.
(Preview)
Hi all. (hugs) I find myself in a weird place today. Would like some ESH please. When I was in the process of leaving my exA, I haf a strange reaction from my best friend. I went to her house, and she got after me about being sad...it had only been two weeks and wasnt really done. She also told me how she talked...
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CDK
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9
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435
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Newbie and I'm so irritated!
(Preview)
So I will attend my very first Al-Anon meeting tomorrow...thanks to my husband for making my life a living hell with his drinking and abusiveness! I wonder if it's too late for me. I have begun to hate him for everything he has put me through the last seven years. We now have a two yr old daughter togeth...
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juliebug72
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4
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473
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Great day for a ride
(Preview)
I went riding. As I discovered, my horse wanted to run. So did I. I wish I could have run on him for hours. My kids were at home waiting for me so I had to settle for a half hour of running. There is nothing better than that feeling - running on a horse. It's powerful, it's free, it's like you disappear into a...
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AStrongerMe
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4
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279
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some fear
(Preview)
Last night our open AA meeting was on fear. I started to share on fear & ended up getting back to gratitude. I guess sometimes I am afraid like of the unknown. I know that I will be OK no matter what happens & that God is in control & that I don't have to be afraid. I just don't want to suffer. My hea...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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231
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Drama Momma at work, grrrrrr!
(Preview)
I have run into a young woman at my work who could use some Al-anon. She lives in crisis mode and plays the victim everyday. She has been such a jerk to me and I work with her a few days a week. She is not a supervisor to me or anything but tries to micro manage my work while she stops and gossips and back stabs eve...
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Breakingfree
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4
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422
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AA father coming to stay
(Preview)
Hi I haven't been doing too much posting here, but I have been doing weekly reading of the board. My parents are coming to stay with me for 3 months. My Dad has been in AA for 33 years. He and I argue alot. We just seem to be able to press each others buttons. I hold a lot of resentment toward him. Funnily...
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Oksie
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5
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565
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update
(Preview)
Had a wonderful 4th with family. Will see my sister again today for awhile. I'm from a huge family, 3 brothers, 1 sister, lots of neices, nephews. Was honest with my parents and siblings about why BF couldn't come. They understand and were also cautiously concerned, who wouldn't? And they also care ab...
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AStrongerMe
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5
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427
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He's turned me into a monster
(Preview)
My husband and I met about two and a half years ago. There was never alcohol in my house growing up. So when I met him I didn't know the warning signs. He had two small boys and after a few months I moved in. He eventually started to become verbally abusive and was drunk all the time. He put me down all the time a...
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wangxue
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7
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732
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the children
(Preview)
Our daughter has been so angry with us since she has been back home I have wanted to clear the air with her but haven't known how to approach it or her, and then last night she opened up a conversation with me, we spoke about alot of things but foremost in my mind is that I need to step back from her now and let he...
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Katy
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1
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508
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how can this still be
(Preview)
As important as these resources are to the hurting. How are we still having so many problems accessing the chat room? Had I had these problems I would never have gotten to where I am in coping with the trials I've faced in the past year and a half. Do the powers that be have take all of the parts of this site fo...
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sirchef
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4
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366
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bipolar life and Happy 4th!
(Preview)
I love this holiday! Man everyday around here is so bipolar. Seriously. I went to work yesterday, and AF did all the laundry, cleaned the patio, the garage. He finally was up and about. I had a very crazy day at work. I am an RN, and between the holiday and the full moon it was insane. Work was so busy. At the e...
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katfshh
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6
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475
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gratitude v negativity
(Preview)
My grandmother died a very lonely bitter isolated old woman today I know this is because she lived with an alcohlic my grandad and her son was an alcoholic. On the other hand my ex mother in law who was same age and grew up with my grandmother had a very positive outlook on life even though she faced lots of h...
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Tracy
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2
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516
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Newbie
(Preview)
I have just recently returned to Al-anon and I feel like Im home again. I cant really say why I chose to live the insanity for the last 5 years but Im not going to be too hard on myself on that one. Im working on detaching.....a really tough one for me and knowing where to draw the line on what is enabling and...
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rondap59
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4
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261
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nothin' to complain about!
(Preview)
Life is so good that I really don't have anything to complain about! I have been realizing that I never had it so good! I am enjoying all my many blessings. I was lying on my bed last night--which happens to be very new & comfy, when I reflected on all that I am fortunate enough to have. I have a wonderful...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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221
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Thankful today
(Preview)
Thankful for a relapse. His and mine. Crazy I know. I feel like a truck drove over me and backed up. I made it to work, I made last night normal for my kids. I refused to "go" for him anymore. I handed off his suicide threat to his brother and sat down. Text after text, please come, I feel aban...
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AStrongerMe
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4
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452
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Crap dropped on my doorstep :0
(Preview)
I have struggled for yrs to detach and regain happiness in my personal life. I had my ABF of 5 yrs move out. Yes, I have been in contact with him, I still see him and sometimes he will still stay here. Apparently I'm not truly committed to ending this relationship, but rather taking baby steps to regain my s...
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IWannaFly
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13
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683
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heartbreaking
(Preview)
Hi all my exab rang me yesterday on way home from a course he was attending, it was late and he was slurring I said spaek to you in couple of days you are slurring. He text when i hung up and said o.k had a shandy. He then rang again from a pub closer to home. He turned up at my house at 2am ringing the bell, shout...
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Tracy
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5
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480
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New to forum....
(Preview)
Im new to using forums but it is hard to get to face to face mtg. My alch husband is out two to three nights per week. Our daughter is eight. We haveva good life other than he drinks too much. I stay because ibdont believe div willbsolve anything but I constantly woory about my daughter and what my staying do...
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Theoceancalls
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6
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417
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I thought I was cured...lol!
(Preview)
Okay... So, I've been to probably a dozen Al-anon meetings and have been part of the MIP family for a month or so and I think I have conquered the world! LOL! So, my husband is still in rehab but he was allowed a 2 day pass for July 4th. I was a little hesitant and I think he was too but all went well.. no drinki...
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Amandakay
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6
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1051
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Thoughts today...
(Preview)
Happy 4th everyone. I hope.everyone stays safe on this notoriously drinking holiday. Im in an interesting place today. My kids have been out of state for a month. This was a blessing from my HPA, I think. They left right as my relationship ended, and so I was allowed some space to heal and cry etc... And o...
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CDK
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2
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255
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stupid is stupid does
(Preview)
w/o thinking or useing my brain in the least,my a needing a truck very bad for getting back and forth to work in,he hasnt a a vehicle in several yrs,cause he wreaked his last one because he was high on pills,but this time i went with him down to the used car lot and he talked the dealer into selling him a real n...
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silent
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6
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605
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went w/o a hitch!
(Preview)
The 4th went over very well! I had a great time--one of my better! I am so glad that we invited our friends. We even did some fireworks which were fun to watch the kids enjoy themselves. My husband actually had trouble BBQing all the chicken all the way to the bone. It was a bit pink but oh well, he made a good e...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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299
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just for today :)
(Preview)
Today I detached from the thoughts of my soberA. I did stuff for me all day & it felt good. I just came home & I'm going to spend some time reading then going to bed. Thank u all for all your comments and support it has really helped me :)
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texasgal
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6
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349
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Slip is a slippery slope ..
(Preview)
Soooo .. I've had a bit of a power rush lately .. lol .. and that has lead to some bad thinking on my part. I don't think that the heat has helped either it's to hot to sit on the couch and watch tv .. lol. I mean it's that miserable at this point. I was talking the 12 step talk I wasn't walking the walk that is for...
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Pushka
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4
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485
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Overcoming Relapse
(Preview)
~ OVERCOMING RELAPSE ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~"Come, whoever you are! Wanderer, worshipper, Lover of Leaving. Come,this is not a caravan of despair. It doesn't matter if you've brokenyour vow a thousand times. Still, and yet again, come, come."Rumi
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Fina
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0
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341
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Went to 1st f2f last night!
(Preview)
I did it, I went. It was crowded, but the people seemed very nice. I was a little uncomfortable, but I'll go back.
AH knew where I was going and didn't say anything about it. Then he called twice while I was there.
We had a talk/argument later last night, but then he was nice again. I just never know which...
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pjm15
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4
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263
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Really detaching and the silver lining of a felony DUI charge
(Preview)
Happy to say that my wife turned a corner a while back. Though she still suffers from depression related to a felony DUI charge. Drinkers often blame everyone but themselves for what they did. And they can do this for a LONG time, sometimes sadly indefinately. Detaching has helped my wife to face her de...
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GeneralLee
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5
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710
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I hate my life
(Preview)
So, I'm a newbee here. Not from a alcoholic home, but grew up with a Schizophrenic father. My mother, brother and I ran away from home in 1988. I'm 40, married for 16 years and have an 11 year old son. I have everything going for me in theory. A good hubby, straight A, wonderful kid, a good full ti...
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Disfunkgirly
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6
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538
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my A never came home...
(Preview)
We had fought during the day but by the afternoon all had been calm. He called me said he would be home in a bit well it already 1 in the morning. I tried calling him but his phone is off. I feel scared like maybe he went to go drink or he is with the woman from FB idk what to think. Whatever his reason I know its not...
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texasgal
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9
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568
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Detaching with Love
(Preview)
I'm an Al-Anon beginner, and Al-Anon does not come naturally to me, but I've been studying the concept of loving detachment, and I had a chance to apply it a few days ago. My AH and I went to see a movie screening at a local cemetery over the weekend. We were with friends, and everyone brought picnics and w...
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Ekaterina
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4
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648
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i feel like a firework about to pop!!
(Preview)
I decided that I was going to help my church with service work before the fireworks display in our town. I really didn't think my soberA would want to go so I didn't ask him. This morning he said he wanted to help but then at the last minute he backed out. When i knew he wasn't going I was ok but when he said he wo...
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texasgal
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5
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414
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Carrying the Water
(Preview)
It always boggles my mind how everything seems to be connected. The last few days I've been doing some 12th step work, just listening mostly. Sometimes we just need someone to listen and to interject that well-timed uh-huh.....oh really?.....and how did that make you feel? So then we had our little m...
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Wolfie55
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4
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306
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The Dysfunction Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree
(Preview)
Another holiday turned disaster. My AH's family is the definition of dysfunction. They all behave like children, NONE of them know how to communicate. My AH walked into the party last night ready to let bygones be bygones and his jerk brother decided he was going to give my AH the cold shoulder and...
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surfgirl123
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1
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324
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*Sigh* Relapse
(Preview)
So I suspected it yesterday, he lied (I expected that but he did not appear intoxicated). Last night his PTSD dreams returned and by the time I got home it was clear. Found his stash, confronted him and gave him two options. He's too intoxicated to drive so I told him either he found a way to leave, or h...
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AStrongerMe
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11
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570
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I am prepared for him to binge tonight
(Preview)
I am ready. I expect it. I know it's coming. I feel aweful saying that because love is supposed to believe the best, but the sickness endures. I'm not trying to be negative. He always says I'm negative, I say I'm realistic so I don't get dissapointed. Hope for the best prepare for the worst. On Sunday it wa...
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callmemara
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6
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494
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Ouch
(Preview)
This has been a rough day. He drank again, I met crazy in the form of reeking of booze, receipt in my hand with date and item purchased and him going "I didn't buy it, I didn't drink anything, I'm not drunk" I took him to ER for his back (been injured 3 days) they released him and I tried to drop him...
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AStrongerMe
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8
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335
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I did it!
(Preview)
I enrolled in school for a RN program and there is a 1 year waiting list, but I have lots of prereq's to get done while I am waiting. It feels good to be setting goals and actually taking the steps to follow through. I used to talk myself out of it and I almost did this time too. I love this program and how it help...
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Breakingfree
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9
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619
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I forgot about the meeting last night!
(Preview)
Oh my gosh, I was just sitting here looking at the calendar... it's Wednesday. My meetings are on Tuesday night. How can I FORGET to go to my meeting? It wasn't even like I thought about it and decided not to go. I completely totally spaced it! Has this ever happened to anyone else? -- Edited by callmemara...
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callmemara
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0
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284
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First baby due alcoholic father causing chaos
(Preview)
Hello (sorry in advance for long post) I am a 29 yr old ACOA, my father has been an alcoholic my whole life, with the severity increasing over the years and countless attemps at sobriety, the longest being three years (2008-2011) after a jail stint for this 3rd DUI. Since he started drinking again l...
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camus
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3
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402
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what to do next...
(Preview)
I am new to this forum. I am also new to trying to be in the life of some one going through AA. I have been seeing some one for the last month that is attending AA for substance abuse and I really care for him. This is some one that I knew in high school that just came back into my life and where I want to be there for...
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flyagain
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11
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676
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relationship with self
(Preview)
I am realising that I do not have a very good relationship with myself. It is better today thanks to fellowship but still has lots of room for improvement. Today I am trying to explore what i want need and what i do and do not want in my life. Any shares on how you built a good relationship with yourself whi...
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Tracy
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10
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610
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Getting Started......Need help with Detaching
(Preview)
Hi Everyone ~ My name is Jackie and I'm not new to the boards.......just took a few years off. My husband is an alcoholic. He is in denial. He doesnt want to stop drinking. I have been struggling for several years. I keep think that things are going to get better. I keep thinking that one day soon, he will ge...
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angel66
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2
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461
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frustrated and so angry
(Preview)
I had appt with fertility Dr today but i can't go because of no money I needed to go to this appt now I have to wait another month before I can go again. I was so angry & sad I started to cry & I sent my soberA a heated text that i wanted to tell him off but couldn't cuz no good will come. He called & call...
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texasgal
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11
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597
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My heart hurts
(Preview)
I just put my A son out the door. The binging won't stop and he won't seek help. I've been threatening for some time now but I guess either he didn't take me at my word or maybe the alcohol wouldn't let him hear what I was saying. Really didn't want to do this just yet cause hubby is still recovering from he...
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Path to Serenity
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16
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518
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Finding me amongst this life I'm in :)
(Preview)
Just needed to post this morning - to make sure that I'm taking care of me. This past weekend I got really really snippy with my family and I realized that much of it was my own fault. I started slipping back into the "well if they won't take care of this house/stuff/dinner/responsibilites I'm go...
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amills4294
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5
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502
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good things
(Preview)
I am grateful for my home. I have turtles in my back yard. I love turtles. I am grateful to be home with my son. I love being able to tell him I love him and give him hugs and kisses whenever I want to. I am grateful for my business. I have made so many new friends and am learning to love myself. I am grateful for my...
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StargazerLily
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3
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341
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Update!!!
(Preview)
Well, more prayers please .. LOL! It's actually good .. it looks like we will have a trial tomorrow at 230pm. Again with the afternoon time .. ugh! The good news is that it's all up to the judge ... soooo I'm relieved!!! that means it doesn't matter the bickering between my stbx and myself. So neither...
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Pushka
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12
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457
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giving up control?
(Preview)
After living in crazytown for quite a few years, I started accepting that it is just that, crazy! (ha, ha...so many revelations!) With the help of Al Anon, I'm starting to allow myself to realize that I don't have to accept ALL the craziness and I am starting to listen to my intuition again. A few days ago...
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Wanderer
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2
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607
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Confused!!!!
(Preview)
I know my AH is at a strip club right now. I had a moment of weakness and tried to call his cell, but no answer and I did not leave a message. I also texted him, but no response. I was going to tell him that I knew where he was and I'm sure it would have ended up in a huge fight. I guess it worked out that he didn't...
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pjm15
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12
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474
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happy 4th!
(Preview)
So today I am wishing all of you a very happy 4th of July! I am sittting at a computer at the library as usual & the library is closed tomorrow. So, enjoy your Independence Day as you feel. I am having some people over that are in recovery. It is a man & his wife & 3 kids. He is a recovering addict &a...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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230
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Rational?
(Preview)
I was at the used bookstore and saw a book called "Rational Recovery from Alcoholism". It caught my eye since the very nature of alcoholics is they don't think rationally. I bought the book, we'll see.
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callmemara
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2
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292
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I'm having a rough time
(Preview)
My son and his wife are narcotic addicts and have lost custody of their two sons. My husband and I are sharing the the load of caring for the boys with his wife's parents. The kids (11 & 14) are relatively easy to care for but the problem we have is with the our son and DIL. They have 3 3hr supervised visit...
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StinkySol
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5
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572
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my a and behavior
(Preview)
a went to the er this morn,hopeing to get what i call dope,he called me said they wouldnt give him a shot without seeing me to pick him up,i came on up there and he was out in parking lot and told me that they didnt give him nothing so i said so you didnt get any dope,he didnt like what i said cause i called it dope...
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silent
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2
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353
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Little Update and Thank you
(Preview)
I just wanted to thank everyone on this board for their kind thoughts, prayers, and for listening. I truly appreciate it. Last week was a major crisis for me, and I can't believe I made it through. Thank God for all of you, and Alanon. The kindness, compassion, and true understanding I received from mos...
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katfshh
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4
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379
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