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when should a wife call the AH's sponsor?
(Preview)
When you know he isn't coming home all night and know where the room he rented is.
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FriendT
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6
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539
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My AM got kicked out of rehab today :(
(Preview)
I posted here once a few years ago and have been a lurker off and on ever since. Just needed a place to vent today... My AM has been drinking heavy for the past 10 years or so. In and out of rehab, jail, detox, etc. She's lost everything...a marriage, an engagement, houses, savings, jobs, relationships wi...
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Daughter
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3
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524
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Newbie...went to 1st meeting and have some questions
(Preview)
I went to my first meeting last week and while I found the structure of the meeting comforting, I was also a little confused. Mainly, I was surprised there is not interaction with a person's "share". I expected discussion, questions, suggestions, or even encouragement after someone s...
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juliebug72
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4
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481
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Detach or Tolerate?
(Preview)
That's the big question in my life right now. Do I stick around my sick family members or leave for a while? I've been in recovery for years and it took me a lot of hard work to accept, then work through the pain of, the truth. Some folks know the truth off the bat but in my case it was very well-hidden and they k...
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WorkingThroughIt
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6
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755
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Off the wall question .. LOL ..
(Preview)
Out of sheer curiosity .. does vodka freeze??? thanks P :)
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Pushka
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18
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718
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How about an update on my son
(Preview)
I'm switching games here today :) I also have a son with mental illness. It's either bipolar or schizophrenia, but typically the final diagnosis truly waits. But he can't function without a lot of heavy duty mood stabilizers and impulse meds. Heartbreaking really. He was sent to live with his gre...
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AStrongerMe
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2
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426
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loving Dr.Jekyill, hating Mr Hyde!
(Preview)
Hello, this is my first try asking for help with Al-Anon, after so long time. I grew up in a family with always alcohol around. My father can't stop drinking, even if he's still one of the 'soft drinkers' I guess, still it's always there, always excuses. My mother always caring, spending a lot of energ...
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tortuga
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8
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517
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being a sonsor
(Preview)
I've recently found our that my sponsee has asked someone to be her cosponsor. This person goes to a handleful of meetings a year and lives out of state 5-6 months out of the year. I work my program very differently than she does and I feel that meeting attendence is very important. My sponsee has also...
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wheezy13
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3
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326
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A rollercoaster
(Preview)
Its amazing to me that when ive not been to a alanon family mtg in awhile how quickly I fall apart. The weekend was a rollercoaster. Alc husb spent much of juky fourth week drinking and socializing on the lake. I tolerate it for awhile and for the most part its all harmless but then again....its not. Sadly...
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Theoceancalls
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1
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307
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Two years and little to NO change. Now what?
(Preview)
I am tired..frustrated...near the end of my patience. All I hear from my AH is that he is alone and blames friends and family for abandoning him while he is "sick" (we have been separated for a year, he's been trying to be sober for 2). I have heard it over and over for two years. When I ask, wha...
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sookie
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4
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544
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First time here...
(Preview)
Feeling so very sad....need some advice
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Tamster
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15
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487
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recovery
(Preview)
wow went to a step meeting today and then to a fellowship meetig was out most of the day. on way home my exabf family rang they had locked him out and he was kicking the door in, he had messaged and rang me but I was in my meetings. they rang the police and he has been arrested. His mum is 70 and his neice is 21 w...
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Tracy
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3
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310
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What do you do when..
(Preview)
they refuse to abide by your boundaries? I have repeatedly asked AH to not come near the kids or me when he has been drinking. We have a finished basement with an extra bed, tv, half bath, etc. He will not go down there. Will not leave the house either. Today I discovered he had been drinking while he w...
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holivex
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4
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515
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Grateful for Today
(Preview)
5 days after he put the loaded gun to his head I'm feeling the calm come back into my home. He's been gone at his parents since July 4th with all the chaotic drama. His parents were manipulated after the gun incident the very next day that he doesn't have a problem. When I woke up this morning I recieved the t...
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IWannaFly
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5
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275
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what is superman syndrom???
(Preview)
so I was talking with a friend of mine and kindof going through the last week my wife going to rehab and staying with her for 12 years. he told me I suffered from "superman syndrom" and that i'm screwed. I wasn't happy with his assumption so I din't inquire further. So I thought I would go to a pla...
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rellik
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5
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609
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what should I do/expect
(Preview)
everything bottomed out four days ago. I told my wife we were done. she fell apart and checked into a hotel where she drank her self drunk everymorning for three days. I still couldn't pull myself away from her. So I went to her everyday to try and take care of her. I didn't want to have to tell our four kids t...
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rellik
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5
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413
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Smashed my thumb, ouch!
(Preview)
What do you think God (HP) was trying to tell me? My AF left yesterday to ride his bike to the store for more booze. I fell back into my control freak mode and ran out to the garage. I was going to change the code on the garage door so he couldn't get back in. I grabbed the ladder and opened it. But, when I opened i...
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katfshh
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6
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365
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Things are coming to an head here!
(Preview)
We have never been able to communicate, our behaviours have been immature and distructive, we have tried to resolve issues between ourselves, I realised I needed outside help to do that, it's very hard trusting people with your personal problems especially when you have to take them outside of the h...
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Katy
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2
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442
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up all night
(Preview)
Wow, another sleepless night. Oh, if only I could get back all those wasted hours of no sleep from this terrible disease. It is 3:22 in the morning and I just figured out that my hp works in mysterious ways. Tonight my AH got drunk and high after taking a handful of xanax. I cannot believe he is still ali...
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imom
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6
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582
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Getting into Chatroom (Problem Solving)
(Preview)
Hi everyone, the reason many are not able to get into the chat room for meetings is limited to 2 reasons for the most part. #1. Need to update/download Java software from http://java.com/en/download/index.jsp so you computer is running the most current version. #2. When the chatroom is loadin...
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John
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5
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336
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He is here
(Preview)
He freaking just showed up. He is obnoxious and asking me what is for lunch, then turned on the stereo I have to get through this day without reacting. My daughter has my car, otherwise I would leave. I don't get this disease. It's really bizarre and seems to enjoy taking others along for the ride.
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katfshh
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9
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564
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I have to let her go
(Preview)
I am so sad. I know now that I can no longer stay married to my AW. I had been keeping it in the back of my mind for some time, not wanting to make a rash decision. I have been trying my best to make myself better but I cannot do it with her in my day to day life .I have been trying to make our marriage better but she on...
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Country Boy
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15
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618
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It's time...
(Preview)
It's been a quite the week. My job has been insane. I am thankful to have today and tomorrow off of work. It's baby-birthing season. Ugh. It's time for me to get out of this relationship. I had my breaking point last night. I have been working and praying, and he had been detoxing. He picked up a couple odd j...
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katfshh
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6
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486
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Hi, My name is Red and I'm the son of an alcoholic (long)
(Preview)
I'm not sure if I belong here, I grew up in AA and Al-Anon Meetings and coming here just seemed natural. Anyways, I grew up with an alcoholic father for most of my life, he was sober for about ten years, and relapsed about 6 years ago when I was eighteen. He has been struggling ever since but he is sober agai...
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Red Five
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7
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514
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Why make the quality of my day contingent on someone else's mood or behavior?
(Preview)
I've been reading through the posts lately and I see many discussions that brought me back to my days living with the AH. It is amazing how powerful this disease is. It takes over this one single, unfortunate person and turns them into the axis of their family and friends. If the A isn't happy, then by gos...
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Aloha
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10
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611
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How do you know when it is time to leave?
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I am new here and have not yet attended a real Al-Anon meeting yet. I married my wife 11 years ago, and have two step-children. The first thing I noticed was that she liked to drink. Not often, but when she did it was binge drinking, until she passed out. About our fourth year of marriage, h...
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Eddie1248
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20
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1121
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Self Assessment
(Preview)
A couple of weeks ago, I injured my hand - was cleaning out one of those box fans & accidentaly stuck my thumb right into the darned fan blades - cut & mangled it pretty bad & had to go to ER. I've been on pain pills for almost two wks and found myself taking another pill even when I was totall...
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Path to Serenity
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5
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579
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DO OUR MEETINGS DESERVE YOUR SUPPORT???
(Preview)
The summer has demands on all of us. While I gladly accepted the chair of three meetings, a couple for the summer, I'm not a roomsitter. Wednesday, I was the only one there for the entire schedule meeting time. Please take the time to make at least one meeting a week online to be there for new...
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Fina
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13
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751
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Its Just A Coincidence I know
(Preview)
Hello ladies. Yeah, the guys too. I been away. Life has been in my way. Or I been in my way. June was a long month. I lost my job at the recovery house. Its a long story best reserved for private messages. you all know who you are. I decided to put my ability to write to a good use. I got back into the business of b...
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Wolfie55
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3
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803
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TENTATIVE AGENDA FOR JULY MEETING
(Preview)
Here is an outline of the agenda for the next Business Meeting. Please leave any business you would like on the agenda for this meeting. Agenda for June 3, 2012 Alanon Business Meeting1. Opening with Serenity Prayer2. Program3. Reading corrected of last meeting4. Accepta...
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Fina
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3
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373
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Friend fall out.
(Preview)
Hi all. (hugs) I find myself in a weird place today. Would like some ESH please. When I was in the process of leaving my exA, I haf a strange reaction from my best friend. I went to her house, and she got after me about being sad...it had only been two weeks and wasnt really done. She also told me how she talked...
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CDK
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9
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439
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Newbie and I'm so irritated!
(Preview)
So I will attend my very first Al-Anon meeting tomorrow...thanks to my husband for making my life a living hell with his drinking and abusiveness! I wonder if it's too late for me. I have begun to hate him for everything he has put me through the last seven years. We now have a two yr old daughter togeth...
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juliebug72
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4
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477
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Great day for a ride
(Preview)
I went riding. As I discovered, my horse wanted to run. So did I. I wish I could have run on him for hours. My kids were at home waiting for me so I had to settle for a half hour of running. There is nothing better than that feeling - running on a horse. It's powerful, it's free, it's like you disappear into a...
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AStrongerMe
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4
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283
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some fear
(Preview)
Last night our open AA meeting was on fear. I started to share on fear & ended up getting back to gratitude. I guess sometimes I am afraid like of the unknown. I know that I will be OK no matter what happens & that God is in control & that I don't have to be afraid. I just don't want to suffer. My hea...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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235
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Drama Momma at work, grrrrrr!
(Preview)
I have run into a young woman at my work who could use some Al-anon. She lives in crisis mode and plays the victim everyday. She has been such a jerk to me and I work with her a few days a week. She is not a supervisor to me or anything but tries to micro manage my work while she stops and gossips and back stabs eve...
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Breakingfree
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4
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426
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AA father coming to stay
(Preview)
Hi I haven't been doing too much posting here, but I have been doing weekly reading of the board. My parents are coming to stay with me for 3 months. My Dad has been in AA for 33 years. He and I argue alot. We just seem to be able to press each others buttons. I hold a lot of resentment toward him. Funnily...
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Oksie
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5
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570
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update
(Preview)
Had a wonderful 4th with family. Will see my sister again today for awhile. I'm from a huge family, 3 brothers, 1 sister, lots of neices, nephews. Was honest with my parents and siblings about why BF couldn't come. They understand and were also cautiously concerned, who wouldn't? And they also care ab...
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AStrongerMe
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5
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428
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He's turned me into a monster
(Preview)
My husband and I met about two and a half years ago. There was never alcohol in my house growing up. So when I met him I didn't know the warning signs. He had two small boys and after a few months I moved in. He eventually started to become verbally abusive and was drunk all the time. He put me down all the time a...
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wangxue
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7
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742
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the children
(Preview)
Our daughter has been so angry with us since she has been back home I have wanted to clear the air with her but haven't known how to approach it or her, and then last night she opened up a conversation with me, we spoke about alot of things but foremost in my mind is that I need to step back from her now and let he...
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Katy
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1
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514
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how can this still be
(Preview)
As important as these resources are to the hurting. How are we still having so many problems accessing the chat room? Had I had these problems I would never have gotten to where I am in coping with the trials I've faced in the past year and a half. Do the powers that be have take all of the parts of this site fo...
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sirchef
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4
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370
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bipolar life and Happy 4th!
(Preview)
I love this holiday! Man everyday around here is so bipolar. Seriously. I went to work yesterday, and AF did all the laundry, cleaned the patio, the garage. He finally was up and about. I had a very crazy day at work. I am an RN, and between the holiday and the full moon it was insane. Work was so busy. At the e...
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katfshh
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6
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483
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gratitude v negativity
(Preview)
My grandmother died a very lonely bitter isolated old woman today I know this is because she lived with an alcohlic my grandad and her son was an alcoholic. On the other hand my ex mother in law who was same age and grew up with my grandmother had a very positive outlook on life even though she faced lots of h...
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Tracy
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2
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520
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Newbie
(Preview)
I have just recently returned to Al-anon and I feel like Im home again. I cant really say why I chose to live the insanity for the last 5 years but Im not going to be too hard on myself on that one. Im working on detaching.....a really tough one for me and knowing where to draw the line on what is enabling and...
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rondap59
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4
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265
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nothin' to complain about!
(Preview)
Life is so good that I really don't have anything to complain about! I have been realizing that I never had it so good! I am enjoying all my many blessings. I was lying on my bed last night--which happens to be very new & comfy, when I reflected on all that I am fortunate enough to have. I have a wonderful...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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224
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Thankful today
(Preview)
Thankful for a relapse. His and mine. Crazy I know. I feel like a truck drove over me and backed up. I made it to work, I made last night normal for my kids. I refused to "go" for him anymore. I handed off his suicide threat to his brother and sat down. Text after text, please come, I feel aban...
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AStrongerMe
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4
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456
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Crap dropped on my doorstep :0
(Preview)
I have struggled for yrs to detach and regain happiness in my personal life. I had my ABF of 5 yrs move out. Yes, I have been in contact with him, I still see him and sometimes he will still stay here. Apparently I'm not truly committed to ending this relationship, but rather taking baby steps to regain my s...
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IWannaFly
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13
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687
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heartbreaking
(Preview)
Hi all my exab rang me yesterday on way home from a course he was attending, it was late and he was slurring I said spaek to you in couple of days you are slurring. He text when i hung up and said o.k had a shandy. He then rang again from a pub closer to home. He turned up at my house at 2am ringing the bell, shout...
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Tracy
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5
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484
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New to forum....
(Preview)
Im new to using forums but it is hard to get to face to face mtg. My alch husband is out two to three nights per week. Our daughter is eight. We haveva good life other than he drinks too much. I stay because ibdont believe div willbsolve anything but I constantly woory about my daughter and what my staying do...
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Theoceancalls
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6
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421
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I thought I was cured...lol!
(Preview)
Okay... So, I've been to probably a dozen Al-anon meetings and have been part of the MIP family for a month or so and I think I have conquered the world! LOL! So, my husband is still in rehab but he was allowed a 2 day pass for July 4th. I was a little hesitant and I think he was too but all went well.. no drinki...
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Amandakay
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6
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1058
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Thoughts today...
(Preview)
Happy 4th everyone. I hope.everyone stays safe on this notoriously drinking holiday. Im in an interesting place today. My kids have been out of state for a month. This was a blessing from my HPA, I think. They left right as my relationship ended, and so I was allowed some space to heal and cry etc... And o...
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CDK
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2
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260
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stupid is stupid does
(Preview)
w/o thinking or useing my brain in the least,my a needing a truck very bad for getting back and forth to work in,he hasnt a a vehicle in several yrs,cause he wreaked his last one because he was high on pills,but this time i went with him down to the used car lot and he talked the dealer into selling him a real n...
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silent
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6
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612
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went w/o a hitch!
(Preview)
The 4th went over very well! I had a great time--one of my better! I am so glad that we invited our friends. We even did some fireworks which were fun to watch the kids enjoy themselves. My husband actually had trouble BBQing all the chicken all the way to the bone. It was a bit pink but oh well, he made a good e...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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303
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just for today :)
(Preview)
Today I detached from the thoughts of my soberA. I did stuff for me all day & it felt good. I just came home & I'm going to spend some time reading then going to bed. Thank u all for all your comments and support it has really helped me :)
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texasgal
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6
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353
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Slip is a slippery slope ..
(Preview)
Soooo .. I've had a bit of a power rush lately .. lol .. and that has lead to some bad thinking on my part. I don't think that the heat has helped either it's to hot to sit on the couch and watch tv .. lol. I mean it's that miserable at this point. I was talking the 12 step talk I wasn't walking the walk that is for...
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Pushka
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4
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504
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Overcoming Relapse
(Preview)
~ OVERCOMING RELAPSE ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~"Come, whoever you are! Wanderer, worshipper, Lover of Leaving. Come,this is not a caravan of despair. It doesn't matter if you've brokenyour vow a thousand times. Still, and yet again, come, come."Rumi
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Fina
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0
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345
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Went to 1st f2f last night!
(Preview)
I did it, I went. It was crowded, but the people seemed very nice. I was a little uncomfortable, but I'll go back.
AH knew where I was going and didn't say anything about it. Then he called twice while I was there.
We had a talk/argument later last night, but then he was nice again. I just never know which...
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pjm15
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4
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267
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Really detaching and the silver lining of a felony DUI charge
(Preview)
Happy to say that my wife turned a corner a while back. Though she still suffers from depression related to a felony DUI charge. Drinkers often blame everyone but themselves for what they did. And they can do this for a LONG time, sometimes sadly indefinately. Detaching has helped my wife to face her de...
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GeneralLee
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5
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717
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I hate my life
(Preview)
So, I'm a newbee here. Not from a alcoholic home, but grew up with a Schizophrenic father. My mother, brother and I ran away from home in 1988. I'm 40, married for 16 years and have an 11 year old son. I have everything going for me in theory. A good hubby, straight A, wonderful kid, a good full ti...
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Disfunkgirly
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6
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542
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my A never came home...
(Preview)
We had fought during the day but by the afternoon all had been calm. He called me said he would be home in a bit well it already 1 in the morning. I tried calling him but his phone is off. I feel scared like maybe he went to go drink or he is with the woman from FB idk what to think. Whatever his reason I know its not...
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texasgal
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9
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576
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Detaching with Love
(Preview)
I'm an Al-Anon beginner, and Al-Anon does not come naturally to me, but I've been studying the concept of loving detachment, and I had a chance to apply it a few days ago. My AH and I went to see a movie screening at a local cemetery over the weekend. We were with friends, and everyone brought picnics and w...
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Ekaterina
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4
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656
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