Happy 4th everyone. I hope.everyone stays safe on this notoriously drinking holiday. Im in an interesting place today. My kids have been out of state for a month. This was a blessing from my HPA, I think. They left right as my relationship ended, and so I was allowed some space to heal and cry etc... And oh, when they walked in the door today, I just wept. It was like I hadnt seen them in a very long time...more than a month. I expended so much energy trying to fix.my ex...so much time and mental energy spent obsessing. It should have been used for my children. Its a difficult thing to admit. I need to make amends to them, and Im certaim tnis will be in the form of living amends. I want so much to be a better.mom now. I hope I do right by them. This character defect stuff is hard. Im just very thankful he didnt drink around them. Well, I think once or twice he had a glass of wine with dinner. Sigh. They dont seem to miss him at all. Kids are so wise. Thanks for listening. I have some transitioning to do...to still take care of myself while growing my kids into awesome self loving people who make good choices. Its time to be a better example than I have been. More motivation to continue to heal. And Im thankful I protected them by mever living with him, and moving in. I didnt do all bad, I guess. (hugs)