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It's been a little while since I have made a post. Been working and busy with my 2 year old. My alcoholic boyfriend has made more of an effort to be sober lately. It went from coming home everyday to a drunk to more days he's sober. He was sick with the stomach flu but now he's been better so maybe that helped too. It's been nice not coming home to drunken chaos but now it's been another type of chaos. Anger, moody, irritable.
I feel like I can't win. There i no good outcome either way. If he's drunk, it's heavy drinking, me feeling frustrated with lack of help from him with our busy 2 year old or help around the home or with errands. If he's sober, he's moody and just loses his patience and quite frankly, treats me like crap sometimes. I am just at the end of the road with him. I'm the one he's projecting his frustrations onto.
I called the police on him the other day because our 2 year old was having a wild temper tantrum and while it was pretty over the top, there was no need for his reaction to it. Yelling, throwing things. I called the police. He took off and i was grateful. I will gladly do it again. I have a 2 year old who is in the terrible 2's and then I have to take this behavior and disrespect from him???? I feel like a mom of 2 sometimes.
He made an appointment to go see a doctor to find out about an anti-craving medicine and some medicine to calm him down. He is also having trouble sleeping, not falling asleep until sometimes 4-5 am. He is supposedly going Monday. I am unhappy and do not want to live with hostility or drunken chaos anymore. His parents and I feel like he is self mediating himself for something else going on. They have informed me he has had these tantrums since he was a teenager. I'm not sure why it wasn't dealt with at that time when he was a kid...? Some severe anxiety or bipoloar disorder? Most importantly, while I do not want to live in misery anymore, I do not want my daughter to grow up around this.
I'm fed up. It's my life too. At the end of the road with him. I hate to say this but it's almost better when he's drunk then when he's sober. Either he makes changes or I"m moving out. Where's the romance anymore? Where's the sanity? I'd rather be single then live in misery. I do not want my daughter to affected by this behavior any more but it's sad because she is very attached to him. Either way there is no good result.
It sounds as if you have a lot of good awareness. Taking care of two children is just what it was like for me -- except one of them wasn't growing up. Keep on taking good care of yourself.
You write "His parents and I feel like he is self mediating himself for something else going on. They have informed me he has had these tantrums since he was a teenager. I'm not sure why it wasn't dealt with at that time when he was a kid...? Some severe anxiety or bipoloar disorder? ".
I understand this need to figure it out, like what the heck is going on? What happened in the past? Bla bla..but it doesn't matter and as far as I know, people are not sitting around wondering about my past and why I do what I do. He behaves badly because he is an alcoholic. It is very bad for the brain and causes alcoholics to do and say terribly dis respectful stuff. It's not ok to treat people this way regardless of your past or some mental issue. It comes down to why you are willing to put up with and what you are not. You said you are at the end of the road with him and I can relate. I was there not to long ago. It feels like a train wreck coming right? At least you are aware and have given your feelings validity. We deserve people in our life who have something to add to it. Not just subtract and take take take!
Before ANY medical diagnosis is given to an addict the addiction HAS to be dealt with first. There are so many things that mirror addiction .. bi-polar is one of them.
My experience with an undiagnosed addicted who then gets diagnosed as bi-polar and given meds for that on top of the drinking there is a 911 situation waiting to happen and it won't be pretty. I'm not a dr however this is my ESH and what I have been told by 3 different professionals. 6 months into meds he had not only an ongoing affair, he had a DUI as well. I have not really heard any success stories UNLESS handled by professionals who were versed in addiction.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
LeahC...everything you wrote describes my rollercoaster ride witbmy alc husb. I too have what feels like too kids. An eight yo lovely little girl and a 43 yo who refuse to grow up. He too goes through periods of continuall drinking and then there is the guilt phase and he tries to cut back...either way..none of its pleasant. Romance?Ha! Help around home?...i stay though....been in it for 13 years. At this point I stay because I dont want to share custody ... I didnt have a child to be a part time parent...that said, its not easy. There is not a day that goes by that I dont feel sad, angry, lonely, guilt ridden, resentful....sure there are goid feelings too buf I dont really feel them...they are fleeting typicallt interrupted...i could write for hours but to help me I know I neec to focus on good...not bad and take it one day at a time. God bless
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When all else fails...there is Faith, Hope and Prayer.
