Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mimisheart · mimisheart

Hello, this is my first post. My daughter is an active alcoholic and just moved herself and her children into my house due to a broken relationship. I have felt for years that she isn't raising them right due to her alcoholism and now I am seeing it in my own home. It pains me to see the children not cared...

tishrijo · tishrijo

Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I've posted. I haven't been absent from Alanon, only from MIP. I've been active in my group for 4 years now, have been a Group Rep for 3 years and participate at the Area level too. Giving back is definitely extremely rewarding and healing. At the same time,...

EXF13 · EXF13

Hi, Does anyone reccomend books to read for people dating alcholics ?

EXF13 · EXF13

My Story, Early 20's Female, nursing grad, 5 months dating Alcoholic, our biggest problem is that I enjoy drinking he doesnt like me to drink, he is jealous, assumptive swears he knows everything and how it is going to happen. For example if I go out one night he basically has a play by play of what is goi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My childhood home sold recently. Sad but good news! I am part of a 6-way sell. That means me & my 5 siblings are getting money from the selling of our house. Now that my dad & my step-mom have died, the house sold very quickly. I am very grateful that I can have money that I can use for good choices. I t...

Katy · Katy

It's been getting worse with our son, the binge drinking has become more frequent, his personal hygene is a constant battle of wills and hes verbally abusive and emotionally very unstable when he is drunk, christmas has been a nightmare of worry and anxiety lack of sleep and generally all round it's s...

Cheri_Swanson · Cheri_Swanson

Hi everyone! I just realized today there is actually an Al Anon site. I have never been to a meeting and plan to go next week to one during my lunch break. As is the case with many family members living with an alcoholic, my AH is tearing me down emotionally and it's beginning to affect me physically beca...

Dietcokeaddict · Dietcokeaddict

I would like to use how music can be healing and therapeutic as topic next month when I chair a meeting would that be okay? Or would it. E crossing a line

el-cee · el-cee

Hi I am in the UK and Im not sure when the meetings are. I think I am 5 hours ahead of you so does this mean the 9 oclock meeting is at 2 am for me?

el-cee · el-cee

A miracle happened tonight. My ex ah came round first contact since Xmas. He is sober since Xmas and is in aa. Anyway, the miracle happened, he apologised to me. He said he realises he has damaged our family and his drinking is the reason he has lost everything. He said he feels guilt and shame for the firs...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH of 30 years (we've been separated for that last 1 1/2) died of complications of his alcoholism last night. He was 52 years old, was the father of our three daughters and grandfather of our two young grandsons. I am saddened, yet angry at the same time. The disease won, our family has lost. He died of l...

debhud · debhud

i was talking to my AS the other day. and he came up with this. "mom, if people stopped looking at other peoples lives, maybe they could focus on what makes them happy." that statement was so very meaningful to me. my son is active in his disease and is slowly dying. i am amazed at the peace...

Beekee · Beekee

Hello, I am a newcomer and my husband and I (married 4.5 years) have both been sober since Mar. 9. We stopped drinking after a peak incident that was violent and scary, where my husband became an aggressor and I was agressed on. I wondered if there were any others out there that deal with the judgement o...

radarlv5412 · radarlv5412

I'm new to this site. The past 4 days have been difficult as my boyfriend has been going through w/drawl. Tomorrow he will be entering an inpatient rehab program. However, I am having a difficult time dealing with this emotional roller coaster.

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have been coming to these boards for over a year now. I have been in Al Anon for almost a year, too. I am currently working with my sponsor on step 4. I am finally learning that it's OK to take care of myself. One of my issues with my AH is that he drives a rental car frequently for work in neighboring state...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

I was wondering how you cope between meetings, esp when you are still resisting the alanon way? I just went to an alanon meeting today---it was hard to even go and it was not happening. Instead, there were several ppl there and no one wanted to lead and the rest, incl. me, were new and unqualified to lead...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

Well, now that I am on my new journey, it has added some awareness for me. The last time I was alone was when my AH was at his 5th rehab. My Mom passed away, two days after he left, and it was a really bad time for me. They say what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger. I have to agree. Over these almost 3...

Jerry F · Jerry F

a share and bears repeating. I asked if I could so this is not pirating of some other members experience and awarness and strength. It was in response to two newbies here and it got the attention of this old timer as something he also needed to hold close to his recovery. It's author is Sweet Stanley.....

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Staying with my parents has been challenging. I can see that their anxiety builds up and they release it on me. They think they don't trust me when really they don't trust each other or themselves. I am in fact the smokescreen for their troubles. Mom looks me right in the face and says things all day that a...

LearningAsIGo · LearningAsIGo

Hello, all. New to the group; first posting. I ran into (subsequently fell in love, got engaged to) an old friend from school. We both have histories; I am a member of NA, recovered and sober for almost three years. He is a recovering alcoholic, sober for over a year, up until 50 days ago. He is 38 and...

SuzanneSC · SuzanneSC

At least when he was drinking I knew what to expect -- nothing. Now he is amazing some days, awful on others. I get sucked into his ridiculousness because he still can't deal with any percieved slight or criticism. He has substituted shopping for drinking, and even uses the same language to justify it....

Abtmc · Abtmc

I listen to him and his promises to change and work on our relationship each and every time he's feeling guilty or scared that Im really going to leave this time. And I buy it. Like a total sucker. I remain so hopeful even though it now takes only about a day or two before I see how it's all bs. That the cycle wi...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I don't know if anyone on here remembers me, but my ex husband was an alchololic who beat me up, stole all of my family's money, and was horrible. My father was very supportive during this time. However, my dad likes to drink also. My dad has always been very critical of me and cuts me down all them time,...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I am out of my parent's house and in my own apartment!!!!! I moved out last weekend. It's just me and my 2 tea cup shih tzu "daughters". It is SO peaceful. I come in from work and the house is just like I left it and my stomach isn't in knots wondering how the mood of the home is going to be. The part t...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

Today, I am feeling a little worried, but trying to ignore it. My recovering AH left yesterday, with my dog, to spend a few months in Arizona to get away from the cold north. The cold and humidity is really impacting his back pain issues and he was absolutely miserable here. I am quite proud of myself f...

movingon2013 · movingon2013

Hi everyone, I used to frequent these boards 2-3 years ago and honestly don't know where I'd be now without all your wonderful people. I'm back now because I want to share and am really hoping for some encouraging words of wisdom. some background: Four years ago my ah's drinking problem became undenia...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52234016/step-7-alanon/

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

My son finally gets a job and now has dropped off the radar again. He had to pawn his Kindle to get money for a food handlers card so I'm guessing he took the money for alcohol. He just can't cope with anything in his life. Before I would be devastated about this, but I'm so much more relaxed and that is a goo...

debhud · debhud

hi everyone, i have AS who has no desire to stop drinking. (signed out of 2 rehabs, refused aa) he lost his wife, his kids and his job. i love him and i know he has to do it on his own. however for the past year my parents have been horrible enablers. they pay his mortgage, utilities,bills. give him booz...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

I'm so upset with my husband I can barely control myself right now. My husband and I have been separated for 3 weeks after he assaulted me. He has DUI charges pending and he has court in two months but the police said he could take our car for now because it's marital property and I could get it later if his li...

grajac · grajac

Hi, I am new to this site, and as of this weekend, I am new to al-anon. My husband has not drank in two years. We have been married for ten years and he drank for all of those years, yet seemed to become more of an issue as the years went on. He made his life work around his drinking. It seems I have experienced al...

el-cee · el-cee

I found alanon around 9 months ago. I knew right away I was at the right place. I 'got' the concept immediately and totally embraced this program. I saw changes in all aspects of me and my life at once. I was on a high, until October. I came down to earth with a bump. My old negative thoughts began creeping in...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

Happy Friday everyone. Today my AH is 25 days sober. I am celebrating each day one day at a time. He has been happier and healthier, both physically and mentally. He told me that it feels so good to wake up not feeling bad. His attitude has been gracious and sweet. I am being realistic, and reognize...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I didn't have to worry about sharing: I listened through the whole meeting & then I shared a really good share for a change. It is sometimes so much easier to share on here. I did swallow my pride & let it go! I needed to share & I believe the group needed to hear what I had to say! No ego, just trut...

Pushka · Pushka

COURT REPORTERS HAVE TO KEEP STRAIGHT FACES!! These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: Wh...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

We have two cars. One my AH drives. One I drive. Both are registered in my name. We are both listed on the insurance for both cars. He has driven drunk far too many times for my comfort. Tonight, he came home obviously drunk. I had plans to go out for an hour with friends, I made him promise me he would just sta...

chinup · chinup

im haveing a really hard time not takeing others enventories especially my sisters eventory,and now ex a b/f,need help here really bad driveing me crazy and wrecking havic in my own life and doing or saying things i shouldnt say that only makes me look bad as well as them,esh plz ,,hugs,chinup.

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I could use some positive vibes sent my way. AH and I have counseling again today and the last time he screamed at me saying, "You tell me the last time you SAW me drunk." and he accused me of cheating on him and challenged me saying, "You tell me why a celibate married woman needs to be on...

downonthefarm · downonthefarm

Hi I'm new yer but not to alcohol problems. My AH who has depression anxiety and PTSD is destroying our family. My 19yr old and 20yr old have moved out and now my 13yr old has asked if we can live with my dad as he can't stand the drinking and yelling anymore. I also have a 4yr old. My AH has become so emotionall...

Pushka · Pushka

Is anyone else having website issues? I'm posting things and they are gone, .. as in poof gone. So I think ok .. let me post again and then everything is there plus then some. Just wondering what's going on?? Thanks, P :)

Jozie · Jozie

Expectations vs. Preception vs. Projecting I still struggle at times in these three... I have Got ALOT better with the "Expectations" that I put on Others, but I still at times expect Myself to be More then I am at the moment, which can set me up to fail if I don't keep a Handle on it... Sometime...

imom · imom

Ok so alcoholism is a disease.....I get it. I would never leave a sick loved one in need. HOWEVER......if I was knowingly exposing my children to a contagious disease I would certainly remove them from the situation. Maybe this is just a thought that helps me justify my next move? Maybe....but I have t...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

The support we receive here is so important. I also get so much encouragement and so many reality checks in reading the posts of others. Last night I attended my first F2F Al-Anon meeting. It was a small gathering. There were 14 of us. It was nice and intimate. There was a variety of people there.....

chinup · chinup

odat,is all one can do when in our most vulerable times its not easy for any of us,but we got to hold on and not let go for if we let go even for a sec. we will fall back into the same old drama we stepped out of,serenity prayer and lots of distractions and staying as busy as i can be until this time passes is all i c...

steph0717 · steph0717

About 6 months ago I started dating a guy that I had met off of an online dating site. We really hit it off and have had an amazing connection ever since. When I met him he was only about a month and a half sober. He wasn't ready to get into a relationship but for some reason, we still kept seeing each other....

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

an option as far as dating again after all we have been through. He is just starting out with being sober and talking to his A.A. sponsor and he has been calling me to just chat with him on a couple hard nights he has had. He asked me in a few months if he continued doing well with his sobriety, if I would ever gi...

twladybug · twladybug

Isn't anyone else annoyed their significant other has a whole world of AA friends that they are not a part of? I have lived with my recovering A for a year and a half, he's been sober almost 4 years. I never knew the out of control part of his life and I'm thankful for that. I understand that AA changed his lif...

chinup · chinup

here i am trying to move on with my life to new horizons if its possible i feel like my life is so limited here now that my mom is gone, i spent most if not all of my time with my mom when she was here,now to redirect,while still greiveing my lost,its not gonna be easy still got spring and summer to go through and...

bryteyes · bryteyes

Im not able to attend online meetings and I currently have no transportation or family support to take me to local meetings. Please will someone be my sponser. P.s. very emotional and eager to learn. Scared every day.

rehprof · rehprof

Every year the ExA's dad gives the 2 kids $50 checks each. That "side" had their Xmas celebration a week before, on the 18th. So, that week, the ex called my 16yo and asked if he could "borrow" their xmas money to take them shopping to buy me a gift, and to shop and buy for each other. (...

1976love · 1976love

So my month sober AH just got laid off. Before when this would happen, I would come home from work with either a passed out husband or one so drunk he could barely function. I have been praying for strength for me and him and keeping a positive attitude. I will not let this ruin my night with worry and fea...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I was reading my posts over these last couple of months and I'm all over the board. Reading them sure does give me some perpective on how stupid I sound. Embarrassing.... I pray it helps me to get with the program and quit this madness I create for myself. I am grateful for MIP I am grateful for Al-anon I a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today I need to swallow my pride. I am going to my usual out-of-town Alanon meeting--60 miles away. I sometimes go to any lengths to get to a meeting. But, I haven't received my Alanon coin yet this year. I am thinking that I won't mention it tonight as I would feel too proud & did not receive it. I am hop...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Hello, my beloved MIPers! You may recall that my long-term temporary job ended on November 1. In mid-December I had an interview for a very, very good job with my county. Yesterday they called me and asked me to come in on Wednesday morning (tomorrow) to "meet with" the big cheese. I assu...

Aloha · Aloha

I was reading through some posts and was reminded very clearly that A's do what A's do... and time and again folks like myself get bowled over in shock when we expect the A to suddenly behave like someone other than an A. I even had this experience with my exA. He called me back in October to let me know that h...

willowtree · willowtree

The last 2 months have been really challenging for me. I planned my inlaws 50th wedding anniversary, it was Christmas, kept helping SO many people out to the point of exhaustion and then slight resentment, and my brother in law and his 3 kids stayed with us for a week. Having my BIL stay with us really p...

el-cee · el-cee

I've been thinking about why I ended up as a codependant enabler. At what point in my life did I become like this? Is it a self esteem issue? I think it comes from my childhood, I've always people pleased and was brought up like this. My ex ah and I were made for each other really, two mixed up people who got si...

Pushka · Pushka

I know it's before the court time .. LOL .. that's OOOOKKKKK. Turns out my atty and her folks found out I didn't need to be there today. They have continued the case until??? Don't know that answer just yet. Suffice to say that doing the next right thing is a good thing. I highly encourage anyone deal...

John · John

Rarely am i someone at a loss for words. However, i feel like i was hit with a stun gun lately. I paid to bring my 32 yr old son here to North Carolina after his marriage took the plunge. First thing he found was alcohol, then a girlfriend he got preg, then two felony charges for b&e at a closed store a few block...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I guess I've always liked hearing that "today is another chance to get it right." Of course this has mean't not only days of second chances but years of trying to make progress. I am sometimes better than other times but I know I will never get it "right." I'm not sure I even know w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	alcholic daughter with children (Preview) Hello, this is my first post. My daughter is an active alcoholic and just moved herself and her children into my house due to a broken relationship. I have felt for years that she isn't raising them right due to her alcoholism and now I am seeing it in my own home. It pains me to see the children not cared...	mimisheart	2	290	Jan 15, 2013 by hotrod
	Letting feelings get in my way (Preview) Hi everyone. It's been a long time since I've posted. I haven't been absent from Alanon, only from MIP. I've been active in my group for 4 years now, have been a Group Rep for 3 years and participate at the Area level too. Giving back is definitely extremely rewarding and healing. At the same time,...	tishrijo	3	280	Jan 15, 2013 by Jerry F
	Dating an AH Books books dating (Preview) Hi, Does anyone reccomend books to read for people dating alcholics ?	EXF13	4	307	Jan 15, 2013 by imom
	Will he ever trust me ? dating trust issues jealousy (Preview) My Story, Early 20's Female, nursing grad, 5 months dating Alcoholic, our biggest problem is that I enjoy drinking he doesnt like me to drink, he is jealous, assumptive swears he knows everything and how it is going to happen. For example if I go out one night he basically has a play by play of what is goi...	EXF13	9	475	Jan 15, 2013 by orchidlover
	house sold what next? (Preview) My childhood home sold recently. Sad but good news! I am part of a 6-way sell. That means me & my 5 siblings are getting money from the selling of our house. Now that my dad & my step-mom have died, the house sold very quickly. I am very grateful that I can have money that I can use for good choices. I t...	Hoot Nanny	1	323	Jan 15, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	Why do I still do the same things and exspect different results? (Preview) It's been getting worse with our son, the binge drinking has become more frequent, his personal hygene is a constant battle of wills and hes verbally abusive and emotionally very unstable when he is drunk, christmas has been a nightmare of worry and anxiety lack of sleep and generally all round it's s...	Katy	5	377	Jan 15, 2013 by el-cee
	New member with no one else to confide in.... (Preview) Hi everyone! I just realized today there is actually an Al Anon site. I have never been to a meeting and plan to go next week to one during my lunch break. As is the case with many family members living with an alcoholic, my AH is tearing me down emotionally and it's beginning to affect me physically beca...	Cheri_Swanson	14	820	Jan 15, 2013 by canadianguy
	Topics for chairing a meeting (Preview) I would like to use how music can be healing and therapeutic as topic next month when I chair a meeting would that be okay? Or would it. E crossing a line	Dietcokeaddict	7	8505	Jan 15, 2013 by Dietcokeaddict
	meetings (Preview) Hi I am in the UK and Im not sure when the meetings are. I think I am 5 hours ahead of you so does this mean the 9 oclock meeting is at 2 am for me?	el-cee	2	290	Jan 15, 2013 by el-cee
	making amends (Preview) A miracle happened tonight. My ex ah came round first contact since Xmas. He is sober since Xmas and is in aa. Anyway, the miracle happened, he apologised to me. He said he realises he has damaged our family and his drinking is the reason he has lost everything. He said he feels guilt and shame for the firs...	el-cee	8	321	Jan 15, 2013 by el-cee
	This Horrible Disease Took Away My AH Last Night (Preview) My AH of 30 years (we've been separated for that last 1 1/2) died of complications of his alcoholism last night. He was 52 years old, was the father of our three daughters and grandfather of our two young grandsons. I am saddened, yet angry at the same time. The disease won, our family has lost. He died of l...	Green Eyes	37	832	Jan 14, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	AWESOME thought from my AS! (Preview) i was talking to my AS the other day. and he came up with this. "mom, if people stopped looking at other peoples lives, maybe they could focus on what makes them happy." that statement was so very meaningful to me. my son is active in his disease and is slowly dying. i am amazed at the peace...	debhud	1	291	Jan 14, 2013 by hotrod
	Newcomer: staying w husband after peak event staying with husband judgement (Preview) Hello, I am a newcomer and my husband and I (married 4.5 years) have both been sober since Mar. 9. We stopped drinking after a peak incident that was violent and scary, where my husband became an aggressor and I was agressed on. I wondered if there were any others out there that deal with the judgement o...	Beekee	7	493	Jan 14, 2013 by Beekee
	loved one going through w/drawl (Preview) I'm new to this site. The past 4 days have been difficult as my boyfriend has been going through w/drawl. Tomorrow he will be entering an inpatient rehab program. However, I am having a difficult time dealing with this emotional roller coaster.	radarlv5412	5	386	Jan 14, 2013 by AlAnonDave
	Considering legal separation (Preview) I have been coming to these boards for over a year now. I have been in Al Anon for almost a year, too. I am currently working with my sponsor on step 4. I am finally learning that it's OK to take care of myself. One of my issues with my AH is that he drives a rental car frequently for work in neighboring state...	ilovedogs	4	581	Jan 14, 2013 by Mattie
	between meetings... (Preview) I was wondering how you cope between meetings, esp when you are still resisting the alanon way? I just went to an alanon meeting today---it was hard to even go and it was not happening. Instead, there were several ppl there and no one wanted to lead and the rest, incl. me, were new and unqualified to lead...	AllieinAlanon	2	286	Jan 14, 2013 by hotrod
	Being Alone (Preview) Well, now that I am on my new journey, it has added some awareness for me. The last time I was alone was when my AH was at his 5th rehab. My Mom passed away, two days after he left, and it was a really bad time for me. They say what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger. I have to agree. Over these almost 3...	Sweet Stanley	4	419	Jan 14, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	This is sooo important (Preview) a share and bears repeating. I asked if I could so this is not pirating of some other members experience and awarness and strength. It was in response to two newbies here and it got the attention of this old timer as something he also needed to hold close to his recovery. It's author is Sweet Stanley.....	Jerry F	2	450	Jan 14, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Living with Sick Parents (Preview) Staying with my parents has been challenging. I can see that their anxiety builds up and they release it on me. They think they don't trust me when really they don't trust each other or themselves. I am in fact the smokescreen for their troubles. Mom looks me right in the face and says things all day that a...	WorkingThroughIt	5	342	Jan 14, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	New to Al-Anon, recovered addict, finding myself on THIS side of sobriety, loving and being engaged to an alcoholic (Preview) Hello, all. New to the group; first posting. I ran into (subsequently fell in love, got engaged to) an old friend from school. We both have histories; I am a member of NA, recovered and sober for almost three years. He is a recovering alcoholic, sober for over a year, up until 50 days ago. He is 38 and...	LearningAsIGo	4	340	Jan 13, 2013 by LearningAsIGo
	Recovery is harder in some ways...I'm more miserable than ever (Preview) At least when he was drinking I knew what to expect -- nothing. Now he is amazing some days, awful on others. I get sucked into his ridiculousness because he still can't deal with any percieved slight or criticism. He has substituted shopping for drinking, and even uses the same language to justify it....	SuzanneSC	10	511	Jan 13, 2013 by Debilyn
	Still naive and hopeful (Preview) I listen to him and his promises to change and work on our relationship each and every time he's feeling guilty or scared that Im really going to leave this time. And I buy it. Like a total sucker. I remain so hopeful even though it now takes only about a day or two before I see how it's all bs. That the cycle wi...	Abtmc	4	343	Jan 13, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Father (Preview) I don't know if anyone on here remembers me, but my ex husband was an alchololic who beat me up, stole all of my family's money, and was horrible. My father was very supportive during this time. However, my dad likes to drink also. My dad has always been very critical of me and cuts me down all them time,...	ttpurtee	3	323	Jan 13, 2013 by el-cee
	"I Kinda Like It In My Brand New Place" (Preview) I am out of my parent's house and in my own apartment!!!!! I moved out last weekend. It's just me and my 2 tea cup shih tzu "daughters". It is SO peaceful. I come in from work and the house is just like I left it and my stomach isn't in knots wondering how the mood of the home is going to be. The part t...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	424	Jan 13, 2013 by pinkchip
	letting go (Preview) Today, I am feeling a little worried, but trying to ignore it. My recovering AH left yesterday, with my dog, to spend a few months in Arizona to get away from the cold north. The cold and humidity is really impacting his back pain issues and he was absolutely miserable here. I am quite proud of myself f...	Sweet Stanley	3	303	Jan 13, 2013 by LearningAsIGo
	divorce and confusion (Preview) Hi everyone, I used to frequent these boards 2-3 years ago and honestly don't know where I'd be now without all your wonderful people. I'm back now because I want to share and am really hoping for some encouraging words of wisdom. some background: Four years ago my ah's drinking problem became undenia...	movingon2013	3	482	Jan 13, 2013 by Abtmc
	STEP 7 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52234016/step-7-alanon/	hotrod	0	256	Jan 12, 2013 by hotrod
	Another let down (Preview) My son finally gets a job and now has dropped off the radar again. He had to pawn his Kindle to get money for a food handlers card so I'm guessing he took the money for alcohol. He just can't cope with anything in his life. Before I would be devastated about this, but I'm so much more relaxed and that is a goo...	Cathyinaz	11	517	Jan 12, 2013 by Debilyn
	any type of intervention available for the "enablers?" (Preview) hi everyone, i have AS who has no desire to stop drinking. (signed out of 2 rehabs, refused aa) he lost his wife, his kids and his job. i love him and i know he has to do it on his own. however for the past year my parents have been horrible enablers. they pay his mortgage, utilities,bills. give him booz...	debhud	3	361	Jan 12, 2013 by Jerry F
	so angry and frustrated (Preview) I'm so upset with my husband I can barely control myself right now. My husband and I have been separated for 3 weeks after he assaulted me. He has DUI charges pending and he has court in two months but the police said he could take our car for now because it's marital property and I could get it later if his li...	scaredandconfused	4	428	Jan 12, 2013 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Husband sober for two years and just beginning to deal (Preview) Hi, I am new to this site, and as of this weekend, I am new to al-anon. My husband has not drank in two years. We have been married for ten years and he drank for all of those years, yet seemed to become more of an issue as the years went on. He made his life work around his drinking. It seems I have experienced al...	grajac	6	489	Jan 12, 2013 by pinkchip
	Progress (Preview) I found alanon around 9 months ago. I knew right away I was at the right place. I 'got' the concept immediately and totally embraced this program. I saw changes in all aspects of me and my life at once. I was on a high, until October. I came down to earth with a bump. My old negative thoughts began creeping in...	el-cee	2	617	Jan 12, 2013 by hotrod
	Feeling good today (Preview) Happy Friday everyone. Today my AH is 25 days sober. I am celebrating each day one day at a time. He has been happier and healthier, both physically and mentally. He told me that it feels so good to wake up not feeling bad. His attitude has been gracious and sweet. I am being realistic, and reognize...	Annie1234	4	279	Jan 12, 2013 by Beekee
	it worked! (Preview) I didn't have to worry about sharing: I listened through the whole meeting & then I shared a really good share for a change. It is sometimes so much easier to share on here. I did swallow my pride & let it go! I needed to share & I believe the group needed to hear what I had to say! No ego, just trut...	Hoot Nanny	0	251	Jan 11, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	I needed this :) (Preview) COURT REPORTERS HAVE TO KEEP STRAIGHT FACES!! These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: Wh...	Pushka	7	496	Jan 12, 2013 by one_moment
	Boundaries or Control? (Preview) We have two cars. One my AH drives. One I drive. Both are registered in my name. We are both listed on the insurance for both cars. He has driven drunk far too many times for my comfort. Tonight, he came home obviously drunk. I had plans to go out for an hour with friends, I made him promise me he would just sta...	ParisMemories	11	458	Jan 12, 2013 by orchidlover
	takeing others eventories (Preview) im haveing a really hard time not takeing others enventories especially my sisters eventory,and now ex a b/f,need help here really bad driveing me crazy and wrecking havic in my own life and doing or saying things i shouldnt say that only makes me look bad as well as them,esh plz ,,hugs,chinup.	chinup	7	375	Jan 11, 2013 by Aloha
	Fear about marriage counseling today (Preview) I could use some positive vibes sent my way. AH and I have counseling again today and the last time he screamed at me saying, "You tell me the last time you SAW me drunk." and he accused me of cheating on him and challenged me saying, "You tell me why a celibate married woman needs to be on...	ilovedogs	17	571	Jan 11, 2013 by likemyheart
	New (Preview) Hi I'm new yer but not to alcohol problems. My AH who has depression anxiety and PTSD is destroying our family. My 19yr old and 20yr old have moved out and now my 13yr old has asked if we can live with my dad as he can't stand the drinking and yelling anymore. I also have a 4yr old. My AH has become so emotionall...	downonthefarm	4	269	Jan 11, 2013 by Highlyfavored
	Website issues?? (Preview) Is anyone else having website issues? I'm posting things and they are gone, .. as in poof gone. So I think ok .. let me post again and then everything is there plus then some. Just wondering what's going on?? Thanks, P :)	Pushka	8	269	Jan 11, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Expectations vs. Preception vs. Projecting Vs. ME (Preview) Expectations vs. Preception vs. Projecting I still struggle at times in these three... I have Got ALOT better with the "Expectations" that I put on Others, but I still at times expect Myself to be More then I am at the moment, which can set me up to fail if I don't keep a Handle on it... Sometime...	Jozie	7	379	Jan 11, 2013 by downonthefarm
	My thought for the day (Preview) Ok so alcoholism is a disease.....I get it. I would never leave a sick loved one in need. HOWEVER......if I was knowingly exposing my children to a contagious disease I would certainly remove them from the situation. Maybe this is just a thought that helps me justify my next move? Maybe....but I have t...	imom	3	2562	Jan 11, 2013 by downonthefarm
	Went to my first F2F (Preview) The support we receive here is so important. I also get so much encouragement and so many reality checks in reading the posts of others. Last night I attended my first F2F Al-Anon meeting. It was a small gathering. There were 14 of us. It was nice and intimate. There was a variety of people there.....	Annie1234	8	448	Jan 11, 2013 by Annie1234
	trying to keep it all together (Preview) odat,is all one can do when in our most vulerable times its not easy for any of us,but we got to hold on and not let go for if we let go even for a sec. we will fall back into the same old drama we stepped out of,serenity prayer and lots of distractions and staying as busy as i can be until this time passes is all i c...	chinup	1	351	Jan 11, 2013 by hotrod
	Dating a recovering alcoholic (Preview) About 6 months ago I started dating a guy that I had met off of an online dating site. We really hit it off and have had an amazing connection ever since. When I met him he was only about a month and a half sober. He wasn't ready to get into a relationship but for some reason, we still kept seeing each other....	steph0717	4	354	Jan 11, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Am I crazy to consider the exAH (Preview) an option as far as dating again after all we have been through. He is just starting out with being sober and talking to his A.A. sponsor and he has been calling me to just chat with him on a couple hard nights he has had. He asked me in a few months if he continued doing well with his sobriety, if I would ever gi...	Breakingfree	10	382	Jan 11, 2013 by Mattie
	finding acceptance (Preview) Isn't anyone else annoyed their significant other has a whole world of AA friends that they are not a part of? I have lived with my recovering A for a year and a half, he's been sober almost 4 years. I never knew the out of control part of his life and I'm thankful for that. I understand that AA changed his lif...	twladybug	8	343	Jan 11, 2013 by twladybug
	trying to move on (Preview) here i am trying to move on with my life to new horizons if its possible i feel like my life is so limited here now that my mom is gone, i spent most if not all of my time with my mom when she was here,now to redirect,while still greiveing my lost,its not gonna be easy still got spring and summer to go through and...	chinup	4	401	Jan 11, 2013 by orchidlover
	needing a sponser (Preview) Im not able to attend online meetings and I currently have no transportation or family support to take me to local meetings. Please will someone be my sponser. P.s. very emotional and eager to learn. Scared every day.	bryteyes	3	280	Jan 11, 2013 by orchidlover
	Christmas Money (Preview) Every year the ExA's dad gives the 2 kids $50 checks each. That "side" had their Xmas celebration a week before, on the 18th. So, that week, the ex called my 16yo and asked if he could "borrow" their xmas money to take them shopping to buy me a gift, and to shop and buy for each other. (...	rehprof	9	498	Jan 11, 2013 by orchidlover
	laid off (Preview) So my month sober AH just got laid off. Before when this would happen, I would come home from work with either a passed out husband or one so drunk he could barely function. I have been praying for strength for me and him and keeping a positive attitude. I will not let this ruin my night with worry and fea...	1976love	5	347	Jan 11, 2013 by orchidlover
	I'm a lost in my madness (Preview) I was reading my posts over these last couple of months and I'm all over the board. Reading them sure does give me some perpective on how stupid I sound. Embarrassing.... I pray it helps me to get with the program and quit this madness I create for myself. I am grateful for MIP I am grateful for Al-anon I a...	Cathyinaz	11	586	Jan 11, 2013 by orchidlover
	swallow my pride (Preview) Today I need to swallow my pride. I am going to my usual out-of-town Alanon meeting--60 miles away. I sometimes go to any lengths to get to a meeting. But, I haven't received my Alanon coin yet this year. I am thinking that I won't mention it tonight as I would feel too proud & did not receive it. I am hop...	Hoot Nanny	4	339	Jan 11, 2013 by orchidlover
	Second Interview (Preview) Hello, my beloved MIPers! You may recall that my long-term temporary job ended on November 1. In mid-December I had an interview for a very, very good job with my county. Yesterday they called me and asked me to come in on Wednesday morning (tomorrow) to "meet with" the big cheese. I assu...	stephaniej	10	387	Jan 11, 2013 by orchidlover
	Quit expecting irrational people to suddenly behave rationally (Preview) I was reading through some posts and was reminded very clearly that A's do what A's do... and time and again folks like myself get bowled over in shock when we expect the A to suddenly behave like someone other than an A. I even had this experience with my exA. He called me back in October to let me know that h...	Aloha	5	539	Jan 11, 2013 by orchidlover
	Am I feeling sorry for myself? (Preview) The last 2 months have been really challenging for me. I planned my inlaws 50th wedding anniversary, it was Christmas, kept helping SO many people out to the point of exhaustion and then slight resentment, and my brother in law and his 3 kids stayed with us for a week. Having my BIL stay with us really p...	willowtree	8	551	Jan 11, 2013 by orchidlover
	why? (Preview) I've been thinking about why I ended up as a codependant enabler. At what point in my life did I become like this? Is it a self esteem issue? I think it comes from my childhood, I've always people pleased and was brought up like this. My ex ah and I were made for each other really, two mixed up people who got si...	el-cee	7	405	Jan 11, 2013 by orchidlover
	Court Results!!! (Preview) I know it's before the court time .. LOL .. that's OOOOKKKKK. Turns out my atty and her folks found out I didn't need to be there today. They have continued the case until??? Don't know that answer just yet. Suffice to say that doing the next right thing is a good thing. I highly encourage anyone deal...	Pushka	3	337	Jan 11, 2013 by orchidlover
	At a loss... (Preview) Rarely am i someone at a loss for words. However, i feel like i was hit with a stun gun lately. I paid to bring my 32 yr old son here to North Carolina after his marriage took the plunge. First thing he found was alcohol, then a girlfriend he got preg, then two felony charges for b&e at a closed store a few block...	John	9	520	Jan 11, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Starting Again Today (Preview) I guess I've always liked hearing that "today is another chance to get it right." Of course this has mean't not only days of second chances but years of trying to make progress. I am sometimes better than other times but I know I will never get it "right." I'm not sure I even know w...	tiredtonite	5	485	Jan 10, 2013 by Cathyinaz
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.