Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

John · John

I read many of the post tonight and couldn't bring myself to respond to each of them individually. While each person on this forum is valued and truly a member of my chosen family, I too am going through my own struggles, my life feels very topsy turvy, I am going through my own mental aerobics, and my emo...

Venera · Venera

Guys, how do we get a sponsor? I have not gone to a f2f meeting yet, but am planning on online meeting. Is there a way to get an "online sponsor"?

Tasha · Tasha

-- Edited by Tasha on Monday 1st of July 2013 12:12:31 PM

silent · silent

my a just told me that ive kicked him to the curb,ha no I haven't he is still living in my house.i just wont will not let him have s*x with me,cause of sin.i don't know how long this will go on with him he may move out or I dunno I just know I have to keep my self sane and I know not to marry him ,I just wished he would g...

neshema2 · neshema2

-- Edited by neshema2 on Monday 1st of July 2013 11:03:05 AM

Muffin · Muffin

Hi there: I am new to this forum and hope to get some help. I do attend local Alanon meetings when I can, but need some help sometimes when there are no meetings or anyone else to talk to. My husband of 16 years is a major pot head but will also settle for getting shit faced if there are no drugs around. I am a soc...

lluucy · lluucy

I'm new. My Mom passed away a few weeks ago. She always enabled my brother's drinking problem and gave him money. Since her death, my brother is spiraling downward but I don't think I (or anyone else in the family) can help him. My brother has drank for the last 20 years. My adolescent years were a mes...

daisy31 · daisy31

Some things are really coming to the light for me lately. I care way too much if people like me. I worry all the time if I hurt someone's feelings, if they are upset (and if they are upset then I think I did something wrong), I try and make everyone happy, I lose myself in other people alot. Wow, I sound like...

Lyne · Lyne

So I'm crying at the moment. Decided I needed my life preserver which is you guys. It is my mom's 90th bday, and my son won't come to her birthday party because he hates my A. He says he is having back troubles but I don't believe he couldn't drive there with his family and sit down for food and cake. I'm s...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. This weekend is a long weekend in Canada. We have Monday off for Canada day. People get excited for the long weekend. They ring off their plans, have a bunch of fun things lined up, they get all excited for the beautiful weather. Me?...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am doing much better. Many of you helped me to shape a better outlook about my relationship with my best friend. Don't feel anxious anymore, enjoying him and us for how we are. I feel more complete now. Al Anon gives me such options as far as perspectives, and what to weigh. Problem solving is very impo...

neshema2 · neshema2

I was pm'ing w/a nice new friend on here who gave me some really, AS usual, good ES&H thought I woudl share with you all something I learned I just want to stop hurting me w/ accidents and then the anger at my inability to pay attention....I stubbed my toe due to NOT paying attention. Then got angry w/m...

oldergal · oldergal

Those of you with ESH, when you look back what can you say were some of the true signs, life changes that your A was really on his/her way to sobriety? Oldergal

oldergal · oldergal

Here is a helpful post from a private message that I received from an alanon member from a couple of years ago. It has been really helpful to me in all situations in my life.... Expectations are external, boundaries are internal Expectations are what we have with other people, usually after they fail t...

John · John

I live in a duplex on a cul-da-sac that is usually very quiet. However, last night there was some insane stuff going on between a few of my neighbors. A man that lives right next door to my place, in the same duplex, was shot by a woman that lives a few doors down. He was in the street intoxicated with a gro...

rehprof · rehprof

So...my exA is spending a whole 3 separate weeks with the kids while they are off from school. They just returned today from their first week this summer with him. I had been pleased because my ex had arranged for martial arts lessons and piano lessons for my 16 yo and had taken him the past couple of weeks...

wings of a dove · wings of a dove

I'm new here and married to an emotionally abusive AH. He doesn't want help. I am so so tired of this life and if I had wings of a dove I would fly away and be at rest.

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I changed my cell phone number yesterday. That has been the main means of communication from my AH. I had told him earlier that if he even pulls in the parking lot of my apartment, I will call the police and so far he has honored that so I usually get phone calls from him. He recently went through his 3rd hos...

neshema2 · neshema2

I was sitting here, reflecting on the posts and answers to my threads and You all are not going to believe this one...Talk about not feeling worth it I went AWOL on my recovery b/c of 2 things... #1...I got sick of recovery work and wanted to do something ELSE for a change..It felt like a "sentence&q...

neshema2 · neshema2

I have my days where I just CANT focus, can't stay in the now, can't concentrate, mind going faster then my fingers, etc. it shows in my typing when I reverse letters terribly it shows when I do something and mess up and its b/c I am NOT thinking, not paying attention, not in the now, not "present&quo...

eekamouse · eekamouse

Hi, I'm new to all of this and have just located a local meeting that I will be going to on Sunday. I have been dating a guy, in a long distance relationship (200 miles), for a year and a half now. It took awhile because of the infrequency of our seeing each other for me to realize that he is an alcoholic. We h...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

My wife got an Operating While Intoxicated charge a couple months ago. Today I took a day off work to drive her to the counselors office for an evaluation for the court, shopping while we waited for the court, attorney appointment, hearing, and initial probation meeting. She was told multiple time...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I spent years stuck in an angry place focusing on therapy, meds, and trying to dissect myself and others, figuring out why they did what they did to me when really ill never know why and there's good reason for that...I don't need to know. i found my Solution in literature in another fellowship and I thin...

Aloha · Aloha

I had an opportunity this morning to listen, with complete detachment, to the chaos alcoholism creates in families. I was in my bathroom getting ready to go to work when I heard my neighbor's car door slam, and a guy shout "F**K!!!!" at the top of his lungs. It alarmed me at first. I heard pani...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54211866/alanon-step-7/

Venera · Venera

Can somebody advice on what should a wife do when the AH was drinking for a few days, missed work, household responsibilities, wasted a lot of money. Do we ignore it, do we talk about it, do we act mad or happy. I feel very angry now, but not sure what would be the right approach. Should i just ignore what hap...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

My husband sent me some very ugly texts I didn't respond to any of them. Then he sent me one that said for me to get the 'xxxx' out of his life. So I packed an overnight bag and went to my friends house. Idk what is going on with him but for tonight I don't have to take that treatment from him. I think he is drinkin...

el-cee · el-cee

This forum is such a great tool in recovery but just lately I have become frustrated reading about the pain of living with alcoholism. It has become a bit much reading the same kind of issues over and over. It never ends. If I'm honest I think it's more to do with my own issues with my son. I'm not feeling ve...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody: It's been a while since a post, although I have been coming here and learning a ton from all of you, as always. It seems that if I feel a bit unmoored, or down all I have to do is read a bit on these boards and I recognize myself and feelings immediately, it is empowering for sure. It's been abou...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I feel like I am stuck & can't move on w/ my life. Something has to change. Because if nothing changes, nothing changes. I want to move forward today. I can get so stuck in the past it kills me. But, today I am not going to share any past experiences because I talked to my sober alcoholic &...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

That is what my 8 year old grandson said to me last week as we were packing him up to spend the summer with his father in Georgia. I almost forgot to pack his Legos. He then went on to say that he would miss me, and I am to remember that he has a birthday coming up in July. I said I would not forget. We were doubl...

Pushka · Pushka

I just want to put out here for those trying to remember that the A in their life is not ok and that yes it is their thinking, keeping the focus on me is where it is at. Last night was visitation with the kids .. first off my daughter gets a text later after court, apparently STBAX must have gone into work and h...

Bettina · Bettina

Chuang Tse, a Chinese Philosopher once dreamt he was a Butterfly. On waking he said to himself "Now , am I a man dreaming that I am a Butterfly, or am I a Butterfly that thinks "I am Chuang"? This message is very profound and could have lots of different meanings, What is your interpret...

Lyne · Lyne

I feel very uplifted today because as nervous as I felt, and briefly got lost on the way to the meeting (and I knew exactly where it was), and with how anxious I felt for about the first half hour, I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF! I shared, I kept an open mind, I heard those words at the end when the chair was reading so...

neshema2 · neshema2

I have 2 A brothers...named "R" and "P" "R" is a sweetheart...drinker, pretty bad, but at least he can get out of himself and care about another...when not drinking he is a good support , good friend, we laugh a lot and for the most part, he is a "keeper"......

tortuga · tortuga

Hello MIP family, I was wondering and would like to hear from those of you who have more experience. I am about to leave for a 10-days meditation course (Vipassana). It is a retreat which purpose is to look within and learn to be in the moment, accept what is, experiencing truth and peace of mind. Theref...

silent · silent

hi,its me again chinup,silent 2 nics ive used in the past been a way long time since ive been here,well im needing esh on getting married to my a which he has quit drinking 5 mths ago and is doing great we get along fine,but im not thinking im thinking with a full deck of cards right now,im just sooo tired of u...

Pushka · Pushka

Well .. LOL .. I wish that things could have been resolved .. I swear I'm in and out of court so much someone is going to think I'm an atty. You know it's bad when you are stopped and asked where something is .. I really look way to comfortable in the hallways. So bad news first .. I couldn't believe that my ST...

tiredof_it · tiredof_it

Do you ever get the feeling of just being tired of yourself? Like how come we (as wives/girlfriends) can't just 'allow' our drinking s/o to just go out and do his thing? We have a lot of children in the house and clearly a couple of years ago, after almost 20 years of marriage I had had it. My entire family...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am overwhelmed but in a good way! I have to admit that some days have been stressful but if I live in the now, I can recover from the bad days & not keep mentioning what happened yesterday. Yesterday is gone. I am so happy that today can be the best day of my life if I look from the right perspective. I jus...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm just trying to not give in to disappointment these days but it isn't easy. My workplace is going through a huge overhaul. The mission is getting lost in this transition and only jobs that generate revenue for this non profit are now plentiful. Many of us didn't sign on for this. After losing my mothe...

grateful2be · grateful2be

As I posted this month, my son was released from prison recently. I would not let him stay here, haven't given him money, rides, clothes, cleaning supplies, food - nothing that I did before with him. He's attending classes, looking for work, and is tethered as parole requirements dictate and curr...

Clou · Clou

Hi everyone. I am fairly new to Alanon. I started in January. The F2F group I attend is wonderful. There are a several people in my group just like me, new to Alanon. The group is small. Therein lies the problem. Several of us in the group have all said that we need a sponsor to work the steps. It is...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

I have been at home contemplating all that has been going on. And I finally reached out to an alanon friend from the meeting. I felt like I was going crazy. He came home for lunch and acted like nothing had happened and so did I. Then I thought to myself why did I engage in his crazy fight? I'm learning that hi...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I came across this article today at work. It is written for a business audience, but it struck me how much of this is right in line with all that I've learned (and keep learning) here and in my Al-anon meetings. A link to the article is at the end. Enjoy! 1. You can do anything, but you can't do everything. Li...

debhud · debhud

my daughter is home from college. she called me last night hysterical. her alcoholic brother came to her house (drunk of course) and physically assaulted her. apparently the neighbors heard the assault and called the police. daughter did not press charges. she is a mess. upset because she alw...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I remember reading in a book about alcoholism that whether you do everything the alcoholic wants, or you don't, it is not going to make them treat you any better so you might as well take care of you. Of course in the beginning of my recovery I did not believe that, as my alcoholic had me riddled with anxiet...

el-cee · el-cee

My son is still homeless, he has made no effort to get accomodation because he has a court case pending. He is so miserable looking. He came in tonight, asked for money and became angry when I said no. He says I have pushed him away and i will regret it. He says the people he is staying with thinks I am a bad mot...

luv123 · luv123

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/electronic-meetingsUsingI am ok considering the stress of being up close around the disease for a while. Actuall...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I am very seriously thinking that I am getting depressed, not something that normally happens to me. I feel like life just keeps throwing me challenge after challenge and I am sooo not ready for them. I've had setbacks with my son's educational needs, thinking of holding him back to repeat 8th grade...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

My husband came home tonight and told me that his mom said it was ok to throw me out of the house. The house we live in is my mother in laws old house that she usually rents out. That it was time for me to leave. That he was giving me the gift of freedom from him. That he loved me but he wasn't in love with me amymore...

Venera · Venera

Hello! This is my first post, i hope somebody can respond. Have been married for 9 years, have two girls, and expecting a boy. AH has been drinking since the beginning, which i didn't notice but with the time it started to get worse and worse. He used to just drink on the weekends, but always go to work. It e...

samc · samc

Hello everyone! I've been in the program for almost a year now, and have not had a lot of luck with finding a sponsor. I've built a nice group of people I can call in program to chat with - which is great!- but everyone I've asked to actually be my sponsor has been too busy, or had too many sponsees, or not be...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

My daughter went to court today on the TRO request against the insane (Ex) BF. He got a lawyer and decided to fight it - why I don't know. Anyway, my son went as a witness and the Judge interviewed everyone in private and decided in favor of a TRO for a full year. The BF started complaining that he still...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I generally don't communicate with the exAH much at all since I have the kids the majority of the time and trade when they get a week off here and there, for Summer I try to share them 2 weeks on and off. So I emailed him and tried to get an idea of what dates could work for him. I did not wait too long, but never ha...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

I had completely given up on my marriage to my AH. I decided I wasn't going to put my life on hold any longer hoping that the man I used to love would return. I filed for divorce 2 months ago and thought that there was no way I would allow him back into my life. The past 3 weeks it seemed like he was finally getti...

Bettina · Bettina

"Reality is harsh, It can be cruel and ugly. Yet, no matter how much we grieve, it won't change our circumstances. What is important is to not be defeated, forge ahead bravely. If we do this, a path will open up before us." Ikeda

Overcome · Overcome

Ok, I'm going to warn everyone right off the bat that this is going to be a "venting" post. I was raised in the church, attended faithfully for years. I've been a Sunday School teacher, sat on committees, even chaired some. I've been involved with the politics of the church, sitting in as &qu...

Bettina · Bettina

"One of the greatest obstacles to the joy of loving is our desire for control. To master the art of loving is to overcome this selfish desire." Shin Yatomi

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am discovering that days are going well--I am still happy about my new eyes, & I can still walk even though I have arthritis. I have a darn good roof over my head! I am at peace most of the time. My HP is so good to me that I can truly see where my gratitude comes from. He is the way of peace & serenity. I...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A response to many post.... (Preview) I read many of the post tonight and couldn't bring myself to respond to each of them individually. While each person on this forum is valued and truly a member of my chosen family, I too am going through my own struggles, my life feels very topsy turvy, I am going through my own mental aerobics, and my emo...	John	9	349	Jul 2, 2013 by orchidlover
	Sponsor (Preview) Guys, how do we get a sponsor? I have not gone to a f2f meeting yet, but am planning on online meeting. Is there a way to get an "online sponsor"?	Venera	4	231	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	My Alanon is in rough shape again : ( (Preview) -- Edited by Tasha on Monday 1st of July 2013 12:12:31 PM	Tasha	9	313	Jul 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	me again.so confused and nervous (Preview) my a just told me that ive kicked him to the curb,ha no I haven't he is still living in my house.i just wont will not let him have s*x with me,cause of sin.i don't know how long this will go on with him he may move out or I dunno I just know I have to keep my self sane and I know not to marry him ,I just wished he would g...	silent	4	407	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	I got a GOOD one 4 you guys re: BOUNDARIES (Preview) -- Edited by neshema2 on Monday 1st of July 2013 11:03:05 AM	neshema2	3	531	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	Husband is Alcoholic/Pothead... (Preview) Hi there: I am new to this forum and hope to get some help. I do attend local Alanon meetings when I can, but need some help sometimes when there are no meetings or anyone else to talk to. My husband of 16 years is a major pot head but will also settle for getting shit faced if there are no drugs around. I am a soc...	Muffin	5	803	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	My Mom died (Preview) I'm new. My Mom passed away a few weeks ago. She always enabled my brother's drinking problem and gave him money. Since her death, my brother is spiraling downward but I don't think I (or anyone else in the family) can help him. My brother has drank for the last 20 years. My adolescent years were a mes...	lluucy	13	483	Jul 1, 2013 by nancymom4
	To thine own self be true is a good quote (Preview) Some things are really coming to the light for me lately. I care way too much if people like me. I worry all the time if I hurt someone's feelings, if they are upset (and if they are upset then I think I did something wrong), I try and make everyone happy, I lose myself in other people alot. Wow, I sound like...	daisy31	5	435	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	very screwed up family dynamics (Preview) So I'm crying at the moment. Decided I needed my life preserver which is you guys. It is my mom's 90th bday, and my son won't come to her birthday party because he hates my A. He says he is having back troubles but I don't believe he couldn't drive there with his family and sit down for food and cake. I'm s...	Lyne	6	575	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Anger toward the alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. This weekend is a long weekend in Canada. We have Monday off for Canada day. People get excited for the long weekend. They ring off their plans, have a bunch of fun things lined up, they get all excited for the beautiful weather. Me?...	slogan_jim	19	612	Jun 30, 2013 by grateful2be
	Pictures from Eden and a blab (Preview) I am doing much better. Many of you helped me to shape a better outlook about my relationship with my best friend. Don't feel anxious anymore, enjoying him and us for how we are. I feel more complete now. Al Anon gives me such options as far as perspectives, and what to weigh. Problem solving is very impo...	Debilyn	7	500	Jul 1, 2013 by pineapple
	Got a good idea for those who can't stay grounded (Preview) I was pm'ing w/a nice new friend on here who gave me some really, AS usual, good ES&H thought I woudl share with you all something I learned I just want to stop hurting me w/ accidents and then the anger at my inability to pay attention....I stubbed my toe due to NOT paying attention. Then got angry w/m...	neshema2	4	377	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	What Are Some Telltale Signs That Your A is Getting Sober? (Preview) Those of you with ESH, when you look back what can you say were some of the true signs, life changes that your A was really on his/her way to sobriety? Oldergal	oldergal	8	447	Jul 1, 2013 by pinkchip
	Boundaries and Expectations (Preview) Here is a helpful post from a private message that I received from an alanon member from a couple of years ago. It has been really helpful to me in all situations in my life.... Expectations are external, boundaries are internal Expectations are what we have with other people, usually after they fail t...	oldergal	3	546	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	While writing my post "A response to many post" last night... (Preview) I live in a duplex on a cul-da-sac that is usually very quiet. However, last night there was some insane stuff going on between a few of my neighbors. A man that lives right next door to my place, in the same duplex, was shot by a woman that lives a few doors down. He was in the street intoxicated with a gro...	John	4	290	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	It's hard not to be REALLY angry (Preview) So...my exA is spending a whole 3 separate weeks with the kids while they are off from school. They just returned today from their first week this summer with him. I had been pleased because my ex had arranged for martial arts lessons and piano lessons for my 16 yo and had taken him the past couple of weeks...	rehprof	11	435	Jun 30, 2013 by Mattie
	When do you know it's time to move on (Preview) I'm new here and married to an emotionally abusive AH. He doesn't want help. I am so so tired of this life and if I had wings of a dove I would fly away and be at rest.	wings of a dove	8	495	Jun 30, 2013 by giraffe13
	The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back (Preview) I changed my cell phone number yesterday. That has been the main means of communication from my AH. I had told him earlier that if he even pulls in the parking lot of my apartment, I will call the police and so far he has honored that so I usually get phone calls from him. He recently went through his 3rd hos...	wornoutmrsfixit	9	526	Jun 30, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	DUMBEST confession, but its the truth (Preview) I was sitting here, reflecting on the posts and answers to my threads and You all are not going to believe this one...Talk about not feeling worth it I went AWOL on my recovery b/c of 2 things... #1...I got sick of recovery work and wanted to do something ELSE for a change..It felt like a "sentence&q...	neshema2	5	317	Jun 30, 2013 by DavidG
	Is it me?? Or do some of you do this???? (Preview) I have my days where I just CANT focus, can't stay in the now, can't concentrate, mind going faster then my fingers, etc. it shows in my typing when I reverse letters terribly it shows when I do something and mess up and its b/c I am NOT thinking, not paying attention, not in the now, not "present&quo...	neshema2	18	681	Jun 30, 2013 by neshema2
	I'm new to all of this. About to go to my first meeting but have a question. (Preview) Hi, I'm new to all of this and have just located a local meeting that I will be going to on Sunday. I have been dating a guy, in a long distance relationship (200 miles), for a year and a half now. It took awhile because of the infrequency of our seeing each other for me to realize that he is an alcoholic. We h...	eekamouse	13	294	Jun 29, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	Sorry- need to vent in a big way (Preview) My wife got an Operating While Intoxicated charge a couple months ago. Today I took a day off work to drive her to the counselors office for an evaluation for the court, shopping while we waited for the court, attorney appointment, hearing, and initial probation meeting. She was told multiple time...	KennyFenderjazz	8	561	Jun 29, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	Psychology vs Spirituality (Preview) I spent years stuck in an angry place focusing on therapy, meds, and trying to dissect myself and others, figuring out why they did what they did to me when really ill never know why and there's good reason for that...I don't need to know. i found my Solution in literature in another fellowship and I thin...	WorkingThroughIt	4	203	Jun 29, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Alcoholism strikes again (Preview) I had an opportunity this morning to listen, with complete detachment, to the chaos alcoholism creates in families. I was in my bathroom getting ready to go to work when I heard my neighbor's car door slam, and a guy shout "F**K!!!!" at the top of his lungs. It alarmed me at first. I heard pani...	Aloha	3	317	Jun 29, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	STEP 7 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54211866/alanon-step-7/	hotrod	0	697	Jun 29, 2013 by hotrod
	What is a right thing to do after AH stops drinking 5 days (Preview) Can somebody advice on what should a wife do when the AH was drinking for a few days, missed work, household responsibilities, wasted a lot of money. Do we ignore it, do we talk about it, do we act mad or happy. I feel very angry now, but not sure what would be the right approach. Should i just ignore what hap...	Venera	14	561	Jun 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	taking care of me tonight... (Preview) My husband sent me some very ugly texts I didn't respond to any of them. Then he sent me one that said for me to get the 'xxxx' out of his life. So I packed an overnight bag and went to my friends house. Idk what is going on with him but for tonight I don't have to take that treatment from him. I think he is drinkin...	newgirl17	10	409	Jun 29, 2013 by neshema2
	not very alanon (Preview) This forum is such a great tool in recovery but just lately I have become frustrated reading about the pain of living with alcoholism. It has become a bit much reading the same kind of issues over and over. It never ends. If I'm honest I think it's more to do with my own issues with my son. I'm not feeling ve...	el-cee	4	314	Jun 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	update (Preview) Hi Everybody: It's been a while since a post, although I have been coming here and learning a ton from all of you, as always. It seems that if I feel a bit unmoored, or down all I have to do is read a bit on these boards and I recognize myself and feelings immediately, it is empowering for sure. It's been abou...	yanksfan51	7	275	Jun 29, 2013 by Lyne
	moving on takes work! (Preview) Sometimes I feel like I am stuck & can't move on w/ my life. Something has to change. Because if nothing changes, nothing changes. I want to move forward today. I can get so stuck in the past it kills me. But, today I am not going to share any past experiences because I talked to my sober alcoholic &...	Hoot Nanny	4	370	Jun 29, 2013 by Lyne
	Worst. Nana. Ever!! (Preview) That is what my 8 year old grandson said to me last week as we were packing him up to spend the summer with his father in Georgia. I almost forgot to pack his Legos. He then went on to say that he would miss me, and I am to remember that he has a birthday coming up in July. I said I would not forget. We were doubl...	LeenieBeanie	2	459	Jun 29, 2013 by neshema2
	Clarifying how unwell the thinking is .. (Preview) I just want to put out here for those trying to remember that the A in their life is not ok and that yes it is their thinking, keeping the focus on me is where it is at. Last night was visitation with the kids .. first off my daughter gets a text later after court, apparently STBAX must have gone into work and h...	Pushka	5	397	Jun 28, 2013 by canadianguy
	"Are we Butterfllies" (Preview) Chuang Tse, a Chinese Philosopher once dreamt he was a Butterfly. On waking he said to himself "Now , am I a man dreaming that I am a Butterfly, or am I a Butterfly that thinks "I am Chuang"? This message is very profound and could have lots of different meanings, What is your interpret...	Bettina	2	246	Jun 28, 2013 by Bettina
	1st F2F meeting was........GREAT! (Preview) I feel very uplifted today because as nervous as I felt, and briefly got lost on the way to the meeting (and I knew exactly where it was), and with how anxious I felt for about the first half hour, I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF! I shared, I kept an open mind, I heard those words at the end when the chair was reading so...	Lyne	8	308	Jun 28, 2013 by MeTwo2
	What A's do I Keep What A's do I dump (Preview) I have 2 A brothers...named "R" and "P" "R" is a sweetheart...drinker, pretty bad, but at least he can get out of himself and care about another...when not drinking he is a good support , good friend, we laugh a lot and for the most part, he is a "keeper"......	neshema2	2	424	Jun 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	meditation for peace of mind (Preview) Hello MIP family, I was wondering and would like to hear from those of you who have more experience. I am about to leave for a 10-days meditation course (Vipassana). It is a retreat which purpose is to look within and learn to be in the moment, accept what is, experiencing truth and peace of mind. Theref...	tortuga	9	1330	Jun 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	im back,and need esh please (Preview) hi,its me again chinup,silent 2 nics ive used in the past been a way long time since ive been here,well im needing esh on getting married to my a which he has quit drinking 5 mths ago and is doing great we get along fine,but im not thinking im thinking with a full deck of cards right now,im just sooo tired of u...	silent	11	456	Jun 28, 2013 by Debilyn
	Court UpDate :) (Preview) Well .. LOL .. I wish that things could have been resolved .. I swear I'm in and out of court so much someone is going to think I'm an atty. You know it's bad when you are stopped and asked where something is .. I really look way to comfortable in the hallways. So bad news first .. I couldn't believe that my ST...	Pushka	4	457	Jun 28, 2013 by Debilyn
	Tired of my own self! (Preview) Do you ever get the feeling of just being tired of yourself? Like how come we (as wives/girlfriends) can't just 'allow' our drinking s/o to just go out and do his thing? We have a lot of children in the house and clearly a couple of years ago, after almost 20 years of marriage I had had it. My entire family...	tiredof_it	15	501	Jun 28, 2013 by Debilyn
	overwhelmed! (Preview) I am overwhelmed but in a good way! I have to admit that some days have been stressful but if I live in the now, I can recover from the bad days & not keep mentioning what happened yesterday. Yesterday is gone. I am so happy that today can be the best day of my life if I look from the right perspective. I jus...	Hoot Nanny	2	232	Jun 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Discouraged (Preview) I'm just trying to not give in to disappointment these days but it isn't easy. My workplace is going through a huge overhaul. The mission is getting lost in this transition and only jobs that generate revenue for this non profit are now plentiful. Many of us didn't sign on for this. After losing my mothe...	tiredtonite	5	450	Jun 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	My son (Preview) As I posted this month, my son was released from prison recently. I would not let him stay here, haven't given him money, rides, clothes, cleaning supplies, food - nothing that I did before with him. He's attending classes, looking for work, and is tethered as parole requirements dictate and curr...	grateful2be	6	428	Jun 27, 2013 by Lyne
	Finding a sponsor (Preview) Hi everyone. I am fairly new to Alanon. I started in January. The F2F group I attend is wonderful. There are a several people in my group just like me, new to Alanon. The group is small. Therein lies the problem. Several of us in the group have all said that we need a sponsor to work the steps. It is...	Clou	3	909	Jun 27, 2013 by neshema2
	texting alanon friend helped... (Preview) I have been at home contemplating all that has been going on. And I finally reached out to an alanon friend from the meeting. I felt like I was going crazy. He came home for lunch and acted like nothing had happened and so did I. Then I thought to myself why did I engage in his crazy fight? I'm learning that hi...	newgirl17	6	374	Jun 27, 2013 by yanksfan51
	10 Things I learned at Work Today (Preview) I came across this article today at work. It is written for a business audience, but it struck me how much of this is right in line with all that I've learned (and keep learning) here and in my Al-anon meetings. A link to the article is at the end. Enjoy! 1. You can do anything, but you can't do everything. Li...	ParisMemories	3	552	Jun 27, 2013 by neshema2
	my AS physically assaulted my daughter (Preview) my daughter is home from college. she called me last night hysterical. her alcoholic brother came to her house (drunk of course) and physically assaulted her. apparently the neighbors heard the assault and called the police. daughter did not press charges. she is a mess. upset because she alw...	debhud	6	495	Jun 26, 2013 by bud
	detachment causing the alcoholic to get angry (Preview) I remember reading in a book about alcoholism that whether you do everything the alcoholic wants, or you don't, it is not going to make them treat you any better so you might as well take care of you. Of course in the beginning of my recovery I did not believe that, as my alcoholic had me riddled with anxiet...	giraffe13	4	650	Jun 26, 2013 by bud
	This feels wrong. (Preview) My son is still homeless, he has made no effort to get accomodation because he has a court case pending. He is so miserable looking. He came in tonight, asked for money and became angry when I said no. He says I have pushed him away and i will regret it. He says the people he is staying with thinks I am a bad mot...	el-cee	15	626	Jun 26, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Keeping perspective & trusting God (Preview) http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/electronic-meetingsUsingI am ok considering the stress of being up close around the disease for a while. Actuall...	luv123	1	478	Jun 26, 2013 by Jill
	What do you do when you're discouraged? (Preview) I am very seriously thinking that I am getting depressed, not something that normally happens to me. I feel like life just keeps throwing me challenge after challenge and I am sooo not ready for them. I've had setbacks with my son's educational needs, thinking of holding him back to repeat 8th grade...	ilovedogs	13	503	Jun 26, 2013 by ilovedogs
	frustrated and very sad (Preview) My husband came home tonight and told me that his mom said it was ok to throw me out of the house. The house we live in is my mother in laws old house that she usually rents out. That it was time for me to leave. That he was giving me the gift of freedom from him. That he loved me but he wasn't in love with me amymore...	newgirl17	7	371	Jun 26, 2013 by hotrod
	Have two kids, pregnant with the 3rd, argued with AH and he left the house (Preview) Hello! This is my first post, i hope somebody can respond. Have been married for 9 years, have two girls, and expecting a boy. AH has been drinking since the beginning, which i didn't notice but with the time it started to get worse and worse. He used to just drink on the weekends, but always go to work. It e...	Venera	8	267	Jun 26, 2013 by hotrod
	Looking for an e-mail/chat sponsor (Preview) Hello everyone! I've been in the program for almost a year now, and have not had a lot of luck with finding a sponsor. I've built a nice group of people I can call in program to chat with - which is great!- but everyone I've asked to actually be my sponsor has been too busy, or had too many sponsees, or not be...	samc	1	378	Jun 26, 2013 by luv123
	TRO granted (Preview) My daughter went to court today on the TRO request against the insane (Ex) BF. He got a lawyer and decided to fight it - why I don't know. Anyway, my son went as a witness and the Judge interviewed everyone in private and decided in favor of a TRO for a full year. The BF started complaining that he still...	Path to Serenity	10	406	Jun 26, 2013 by pinkchip
	So frustrated tonight with the exAH (Preview) I generally don't communicate with the exAH much at all since I have the kids the majority of the time and trade when they get a week off here and there, for Summer I try to share them 2 weeks on and off. So I emailed him and tried to get an idea of what dates could work for him. I did not wait too long, but never ha...	Breakingfree	4	282	Jun 26, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Feeling like such a fool right now (Preview) I had completely given up on my marriage to my AH. I decided I wasn't going to put my life on hold any longer hoping that the man I used to love would return. I filed for divorce 2 months ago and thought that there was no way I would allow him back into my life. The past 3 weeks it seemed like he was finally getti...	scaredandconfused	10	518	Jun 26, 2013 by Bettina
	Reality is Harsh!!!! (Preview) "Reality is harsh, It can be cruel and ugly. Yet, no matter how much we grieve, it won't change our circumstances. What is important is to not be defeated, forge ahead bravely. If we do this, a path will open up before us." Ikeda	Bettina	2	341	Jun 26, 2013 by Jerry F
	God/Church Issues (Preview) Ok, I'm going to warn everyone right off the bat that this is going to be a "venting" post. I was raised in the church, attended faithfully for years. I've been a Sunday School teacher, sat on committees, even chaired some. I've been involved with the politics of the church, sitting in as &qu...	Overcome	6	302	Jun 26, 2013 by grateful2be
	Thoughts!! (Preview) "One of the greatest obstacles to the joy of loving is our desire for control. To master the art of loving is to overcome this selfish desire." Shin Yatomi	Bettina	2	193	Jun 26, 2013 by Bettina
	anothe day, more gratitude! (Preview) I am discovering that days are going well--I am still happy about my new eyes, & I can still walk even though I have arthritis. I have a darn good roof over my head! I am at peace most of the time. My HP is so good to me that I can truly see where my gratitude comes from. He is the way of peace & serenity. I...	Hoot Nanny	0	202	Jun 25, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.