Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

nancymom4 · nancymom4

Just wanted to say thanks for all of your encouragement to go to a meeting. I went last night. It wasn't easy. But I saw my sponsor and she welcomed me with love and compassion. i was able to tell my most recent circumstances of my hubby's relapse after 17 yrs. and they seemed to think I handled it well. That...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hey Everyone Had a GREAT talk with my older A brother...My favorite one..The one who is nice to me, but sadly, he is a full on alkie He saved his rental, they won't auction off his tools, he scraped up the $$ from friends and jobs and he paid his landlord..We can take a BIG guess why he keeps falling in arrear...

Bettina · Bettina

Revenge is an act of violence because its chief motive is to harm rather then preserve life, and it is often used merely as an outlet for irrational emotions. What can each of us do to prevent falling deeper into the cycle of violence and revenge.?

newgirl17 · newgirl17

I went to a meeting Friday and Saturday and I spent some time alone. I have got a long journey ahead of me. I'm becoming aware of my surroundings and how my husbands disease has effected us all. The question is now that I know all the facts what is my next step? I need to take care of me and work program before m...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I have a little trouble with boundaries, and the guilt that comes when I start enforcing them. It is on big to little things. -everything- but i am managing the big ones and starting to realize that no one deserves to be lied to, abused, or screamed at. However, the little ones.. not so easy..? Maybe b...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just got a call from my son's landlord. He called the EMT's because my son was not responsive and he feared for him. EMT"S took him so I let go and let God handle it from here. His landlord will also be evicting him soon so I will pray really hard not to interfere with my son's fate. Sad day........

neshema2 · neshema2

I am grateful our site owner, John did not get shot.....Really, John, that was scary I am grateful that brother dearest paid his rent and did not get his stuff auctioned off I am grateful that I got some work tomorrow to earn some $$ I am grateful that my fur babies are all ok I am grateful that my mind is beco...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana...Good morning Family...just about ready to put my feet in my boots and head out to the back steps and then the back/garage door and then across the garage to the car and then start the car and then back out the driveway and point myself toward the street and my business. I'm not...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Today it hit the fan! AD was expecting to get her adult son's ssi check, he turned 18 on 3/1 and put him out in april during one of her rages. She gave him 125.00 of his check, he was staying with friends until last month when I told him to come stay with me if he could follow my rules. He asked me to take him to...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I'm grateful to HP for it. Aloha Ohana...hope you're all doing good and are not too hot. I'm sitting next to an open windown enjoying the breeze blowing off of the Pacific Ocean which is soooo nice. I ain't taunting...seriously...just enjoying a freebee from HP. Got up early this morning and...

Jozie · Jozie

WOW is it a Wake up! I grew in an Alcoholic Home Where My Job was to make everyone "Happy" but myself, and as long as that was done, then life could keep moving forward... My Mom My Codependant: She was the "Worrier" If she worried about it, then again, it was our Job to Give her LESS to...

Jen61 · Jen61

I tried very hard to not say anything but have been thinking of boundaries and thought I would tell him when I thought. I just walked away. Any comment would really help and thanks.

John · John

http://www.wwaytv3.com/2013/06/30/woman-charged-assault-afte...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Please higher power come back and help me out . I love all of al Alon . I'm tired of recapping my ah recovery . I try to keep it in the day starting with me. I'm trying to get over yesterday's actions from him , he surpose to call when showing up this is not a legal seperarion but a a temerary one that was recordme...

neshema2 · neshema2

This August it won't be 12 years, but 11 years inrecovery.....August 02 of 2002 (had to look up my firstever post) was my "take back my life" month andyear...thought it was 12, but oh well, what have I donein 11 years??? I'll never forget it...I was in the depths of despairand this little sh...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hi Everyone It has been 4ever since I have been here..Distractions..Family..Slow work..Backsliding...You name it I figure the only way to get my serenity back is to get back to work on me..Lately I have been having problems concentrating, staying in my body, focusing on the now and I could go on I hav...

Jen61 · Jen61

I am going to a counselor along with the Al-Anon meetings (online and f2f) and reading as much as I can in order to get myself healthy. I have been asked to write down my boundaries, my bottom line, what will add to my recovery, what will take away from my recovery, slogans/affirmations and bring it with...

John · John

I read many of the post tonight and couldn't bring myself to respond to each of them individually. While each person on this forum is valued and truly a member of my chosen family, I too am going through my own struggles, my life feels very topsy turvy, I am going through my own mental aerobics, and my emo...

Venera · Venera

Guys, how do we get a sponsor? I have not gone to a f2f meeting yet, but am planning on online meeting. Is there a way to get an "online sponsor"?

Tasha · Tasha

-- Edited by Tasha on Monday 1st of July 2013 12:12:31 PM

silent · silent

my a just told me that ive kicked him to the curb,ha no I haven't he is still living in my house.i just wont will not let him have s*x with me,cause of sin.i don't know how long this will go on with him he may move out or I dunno I just know I have to keep my self sane and I know not to marry him ,I just wished he would g...

neshema2 · neshema2

-- Edited by neshema2 on Monday 1st of July 2013 11:03:05 AM

Muffin · Muffin

Hi there: I am new to this forum and hope to get some help. I do attend local Alanon meetings when I can, but need some help sometimes when there are no meetings or anyone else to talk to. My husband of 16 years is a major pot head but will also settle for getting shit faced if there are no drugs around. I am a soc...

lluucy · lluucy

I'm new. My Mom passed away a few weeks ago. She always enabled my brother's drinking problem and gave him money. Since her death, my brother is spiraling downward but I don't think I (or anyone else in the family) can help him. My brother has drank for the last 20 years. My adolescent years were a mes...

daisy31 · daisy31

Some things are really coming to the light for me lately. I care way too much if people like me. I worry all the time if I hurt someone's feelings, if they are upset (and if they are upset then I think I did something wrong), I try and make everyone happy, I lose myself in other people alot. Wow, I sound like...

Lyne · Lyne

So I'm crying at the moment. Decided I needed my life preserver which is you guys. It is my mom's 90th bday, and my son won't come to her birthday party because he hates my A. He says he is having back troubles but I don't believe he couldn't drive there with his family and sit down for food and cake. I'm s...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. This weekend is a long weekend in Canada. We have Monday off for Canada day. People get excited for the long weekend. They ring off their plans, have a bunch of fun things lined up, they get all excited for the beautiful weather. Me?...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am doing much better. Many of you helped me to shape a better outlook about my relationship with my best friend. Don't feel anxious anymore, enjoying him and us for how we are. I feel more complete now. Al Anon gives me such options as far as perspectives, and what to weigh. Problem solving is very impo...

neshema2 · neshema2

I was pm'ing w/a nice new friend on here who gave me some really, AS usual, good ES&H thought I woudl share with you all something I learned I just want to stop hurting me w/ accidents and then the anger at my inability to pay attention....I stubbed my toe due to NOT paying attention. Then got angry w/m...

oldergal · oldergal

Those of you with ESH, when you look back what can you say were some of the true signs, life changes that your A was really on his/her way to sobriety? Oldergal

oldergal · oldergal

Here is a helpful post from a private message that I received from an alanon member from a couple of years ago. It has been really helpful to me in all situations in my life.... Expectations are external, boundaries are internal Expectations are what we have with other people, usually after they fail t...

John · John

I live in a duplex on a cul-da-sac that is usually very quiet. However, last night there was some insane stuff going on between a few of my neighbors. A man that lives right next door to my place, in the same duplex, was shot by a woman that lives a few doors down. He was in the street intoxicated with a gro...

rehprof · rehprof

So...my exA is spending a whole 3 separate weeks with the kids while they are off from school. They just returned today from their first week this summer with him. I had been pleased because my ex had arranged for martial arts lessons and piano lessons for my 16 yo and had taken him the past couple of weeks...

wings of a dove · wings of a dove

I'm new here and married to an emotionally abusive AH. He doesn't want help. I am so so tired of this life and if I had wings of a dove I would fly away and be at rest.

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I changed my cell phone number yesterday. That has been the main means of communication from my AH. I had told him earlier that if he even pulls in the parking lot of my apartment, I will call the police and so far he has honored that so I usually get phone calls from him. He recently went through his 3rd hos...

neshema2 · neshema2

I was sitting here, reflecting on the posts and answers to my threads and You all are not going to believe this one...Talk about not feeling worth it I went AWOL on my recovery b/c of 2 things... #1...I got sick of recovery work and wanted to do something ELSE for a change..It felt like a "sentence&q...

neshema2 · neshema2

I have my days where I just CANT focus, can't stay in the now, can't concentrate, mind going faster then my fingers, etc. it shows in my typing when I reverse letters terribly it shows when I do something and mess up and its b/c I am NOT thinking, not paying attention, not in the now, not "present&quo...

eekamouse · eekamouse

Hi, I'm new to all of this and have just located a local meeting that I will be going to on Sunday. I have been dating a guy, in a long distance relationship (200 miles), for a year and a half now. It took awhile because of the infrequency of our seeing each other for me to realize that he is an alcoholic. We h...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

My wife got an Operating While Intoxicated charge a couple months ago. Today I took a day off work to drive her to the counselors office for an evaluation for the court, shopping while we waited for the court, attorney appointment, hearing, and initial probation meeting. She was told multiple time...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I spent years stuck in an angry place focusing on therapy, meds, and trying to dissect myself and others, figuring out why they did what they did to me when really ill never know why and there's good reason for that...I don't need to know. i found my Solution in literature in another fellowship and I thin...

Aloha · Aloha

I had an opportunity this morning to listen, with complete detachment, to the chaos alcoholism creates in families. I was in my bathroom getting ready to go to work when I heard my neighbor's car door slam, and a guy shout "F**K!!!!" at the top of his lungs. It alarmed me at first. I heard pani...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54211866/alanon-step-7/

Venera · Venera

Can somebody advice on what should a wife do when the AH was drinking for a few days, missed work, household responsibilities, wasted a lot of money. Do we ignore it, do we talk about it, do we act mad or happy. I feel very angry now, but not sure what would be the right approach. Should i just ignore what hap...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

My husband sent me some very ugly texts I didn't respond to any of them. Then he sent me one that said for me to get the 'xxxx' out of his life. So I packed an overnight bag and went to my friends house. Idk what is going on with him but for tonight I don't have to take that treatment from him. I think he is drinkin...

el-cee · el-cee

This forum is such a great tool in recovery but just lately I have become frustrated reading about the pain of living with alcoholism. It has become a bit much reading the same kind of issues over and over. It never ends. If I'm honest I think it's more to do with my own issues with my son. I'm not feeling ve...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody: It's been a while since a post, although I have been coming here and learning a ton from all of you, as always. It seems that if I feel a bit unmoored, or down all I have to do is read a bit on these boards and I recognize myself and feelings immediately, it is empowering for sure. It's been abou...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I feel like I am stuck & can't move on w/ my life. Something has to change. Because if nothing changes, nothing changes. I want to move forward today. I can get so stuck in the past it kills me. But, today I am not going to share any past experiences because I talked to my sober alcoholic &...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

That is what my 8 year old grandson said to me last week as we were packing him up to spend the summer with his father in Georgia. I almost forgot to pack his Legos. He then went on to say that he would miss me, and I am to remember that he has a birthday coming up in July. I said I would not forget. We were doubl...

Pushka · Pushka

I just want to put out here for those trying to remember that the A in their life is not ok and that yes it is their thinking, keeping the focus on me is where it is at. Last night was visitation with the kids .. first off my daughter gets a text later after court, apparently STBAX must have gone into work and h...

Bettina · Bettina

Chuang Tse, a Chinese Philosopher once dreamt he was a Butterfly. On waking he said to himself "Now , am I a man dreaming that I am a Butterfly, or am I a Butterfly that thinks "I am Chuang"? This message is very profound and could have lots of different meanings, What is your interpret...

Lyne · Lyne

I feel very uplifted today because as nervous as I felt, and briefly got lost on the way to the meeting (and I knew exactly where it was), and with how anxious I felt for about the first half hour, I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF! I shared, I kept an open mind, I heard those words at the end when the chair was reading so...

neshema2 · neshema2

I have 2 A brothers...named "R" and "P" "R" is a sweetheart...drinker, pretty bad, but at least he can get out of himself and care about another...when not drinking he is a good support , good friend, we laugh a lot and for the most part, he is a "keeper"......

tortuga · tortuga

Hello MIP family, I was wondering and would like to hear from those of you who have more experience. I am about to leave for a 10-days meditation course (Vipassana). It is a retreat which purpose is to look within and learn to be in the moment, accept what is, experiencing truth and peace of mind. Theref...

silent · silent

hi,its me again chinup,silent 2 nics ive used in the past been a way long time since ive been here,well im needing esh on getting married to my a which he has quit drinking 5 mths ago and is doing great we get along fine,but im not thinking im thinking with a full deck of cards right now,im just sooo tired of u...

Pushka · Pushka

Well .. LOL .. I wish that things could have been resolved .. I swear I'm in and out of court so much someone is going to think I'm an atty. You know it's bad when you are stopped and asked where something is .. I really look way to comfortable in the hallways. So bad news first .. I couldn't believe that my ST...

tiredof_it · tiredof_it

Do you ever get the feeling of just being tired of yourself? Like how come we (as wives/girlfriends) can't just 'allow' our drinking s/o to just go out and do his thing? We have a lot of children in the house and clearly a couple of years ago, after almost 20 years of marriage I had had it. My entire family...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am overwhelmed but in a good way! I have to admit that some days have been stressful but if I live in the now, I can recover from the bad days & not keep mentioning what happened yesterday. Yesterday is gone. I am so happy that today can be the best day of my life if I look from the right perspective. I jus...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm just trying to not give in to disappointment these days but it isn't easy. My workplace is going through a huge overhaul. The mission is getting lost in this transition and only jobs that generate revenue for this non profit are now plentiful. Many of us didn't sign on for this. After losing my mothe...

grateful2be · grateful2be

As I posted this month, my son was released from prison recently. I would not let him stay here, haven't given him money, rides, clothes, cleaning supplies, food - nothing that I did before with him. He's attending classes, looking for work, and is tethered as parole requirements dictate and curr...

Clou · Clou

Hi everyone. I am fairly new to Alanon. I started in January. The F2F group I attend is wonderful. There are a several people in my group just like me, new to Alanon. The group is small. Therein lies the problem. Several of us in the group have all said that we need a sponsor to work the steps. It is...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Went to a meeting last night! (Preview) Just wanted to say thanks for all of your encouragement to go to a meeting. I went last night. It wasn't easy. But I saw my sponsor and she welcomed me with love and compassion. i was able to tell my most recent circumstances of my hubby's relapse after 17 yrs. and they seemed to think I handled it well. That...	nancymom4	5	388	Jul 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	I think we can love our A's if we use BALANCE (Preview) Hey Everyone Had a GREAT talk with my older A brother...My favorite one..The one who is nice to me, but sadly, he is a full on alkie He saved his rental, they won't auction off his tools, he scraped up the $$ from friends and jobs and he paid his landlord..We can take a BIG guess why he keeps falling in arrear...	neshema2	3	353	Jul 3, 2013 by neshema2
	Food for Thought! (Preview) Revenge is an act of violence because its chief motive is to harm rather then preserve life, and it is often used merely as an outlet for irrational emotions. What can each of us do to prevent falling deeper into the cycle of violence and revenge.?	Bettina	5	378	Jul 3, 2013 by neshema2
	becoming aware (Preview) I went to a meeting Friday and Saturday and I spent some time alone. I have got a long journey ahead of me. I'm becoming aware of my surroundings and how my husbands disease has effected us all. The question is now that I know all the facts what is my next step? I need to take care of me and work program before m...	newgirl17	6	387	Jul 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	say what you mean, mean what you say but dont say it mean (Preview) I have a little trouble with boundaries, and the guilt that comes when I start enforcing them. It is on big to little things. -everything- but i am managing the big ones and starting to realize that no one deserves to be lied to, abused, or screamed at. However, the little ones.. not so easy..? Maybe b...	giraffe13	3	725	Jul 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	My son (Preview) I just got a call from my son's landlord. He called the EMT's because my son was not responsive and he feared for him. EMT"S took him so I let go and let God handle it from here. His landlord will also be evicting him soon so I will pray really hard not to interfere with my son's fate. Sad day........	Cathyinaz	28	661	Jul 2, 2013 by Auntyaya
	What am I grateful for today (Preview) I am grateful our site owner, John did not get shot.....Really, John, that was scary I am grateful that brother dearest paid his rent and did not get his stuff auctioned off I am grateful that I got some work tomorrow to earn some $$ I am grateful that my fur babies are all ok I am grateful that my mind is beco...	neshema2	3	264	Jul 2, 2013 by Venera
	H.A.L.T. (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana...Good morning Family...just about ready to put my feet in my boots and head out to the back steps and then the back/garage door and then across the garage to the car and then start the car and then back out the driveway and point myself toward the street and my business. I'm not...	Jerry F	2	320	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	AD on rampage!! (Preview) Today it hit the fan! AD was expecting to get her adult son's ssi check, he turned 18 on 3/1 and put him out in april during one of her rages. She gave him 125.00 of his check, he was staying with friends until last month when I told him to come stay with me if he could follow my rules. He asked me to take him to...	Highlyfavored	4	373	Jul 2, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Got set up this morning.... (Preview) and I'm grateful to HP for it. Aloha Ohana...hope you're all doing good and are not too hot. I'm sitting next to an open windown enjoying the breeze blowing off of the Pacific Ocean which is soooo nice. I ain't taunting...seriously...just enjoying a freebee from HP. Got up early this morning and...	Jerry F	8	547	Jul 2, 2013 by Breakingfree
	When your Old Alcoholic Home Comes back to Bite You! (Preview) WOW is it a Wake up! I grew in an Alcoholic Home Where My Job was to make everyone "Happy" but myself, and as long as that was done, then life could keep moving forward... My Mom My Codependant: She was the "Worrier" If she worried about it, then again, it was our Job to Give her LESS to...	Jozie	4	364	Jul 2, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I just told my AH that I could not be around him when he is drinking. Of course he really is not drinking. (Preview) I tried very hard to not say anything but have been thinking of boundaries and thought I would tell him when I thought. I just walked away. Any comment would really help and thanks.	Jen61	8	402	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	Woke up by News Reporter this morning... (Preview) http://www.wwaytv3.com/2013/06/30/woman-charged-assault-afte...	John	5	368	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	I understand I don't get it (Preview) Please higher power come back and help me out . I love all of al Alon . I'm tired of recapping my ah recovery . I try to keep it in the day starting with me. I'm trying to get over yesterday's actions from him , he surpose to call when showing up this is not a legal seperarion but a a temerary one that was recordme...	Ms co-dependent	7	586	Jul 2, 2013 by Bettina
	What the last 11 yrs. (not 12) has meant to me (Preview) This August it won't be 12 years, but 11 years inrecovery.....August 02 of 2002 (had to look up my firstever post) was my "take back my life" month andyear...thought it was 12, but oh well, what have I donein 11 years??? I'll never forget it...I was in the depths of despairand this little sh...	neshema2	8	425	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	Old timer returning...Need my board (Preview) Hi Everyone It has been 4ever since I have been here..Distractions..Family..Slow work..Backsliding...You name it I figure the only way to get my serenity back is to get back to work on me..Lately I have been having problems concentrating, staying in my body, focusing on the now and I could go on I hav...	neshema2	5	434	Jul 2, 2013 by orchidlover
	Boundaries (Preview) I am going to a counselor along with the Al-Anon meetings (online and f2f) and reading as much as I can in order to get myself healthy. I have been asked to write down my boundaries, my bottom line, what will add to my recovery, what will take away from my recovery, slogans/affirmations and bring it with...	Jen61	5	278	Jul 2, 2013 by orchidlover
	A response to many post.... (Preview) I read many of the post tonight and couldn't bring myself to respond to each of them individually. While each person on this forum is valued and truly a member of my chosen family, I too am going through my own struggles, my life feels very topsy turvy, I am going through my own mental aerobics, and my emo...	John	9	388	Jul 2, 2013 by orchidlover
	Sponsor (Preview) Guys, how do we get a sponsor? I have not gone to a f2f meeting yet, but am planning on online meeting. Is there a way to get an "online sponsor"?	Venera	4	268	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	My Alanon is in rough shape again : ( (Preview) -- Edited by Tasha on Monday 1st of July 2013 12:12:31 PM	Tasha	9	350	Jul 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	me again.so confused and nervous (Preview) my a just told me that ive kicked him to the curb,ha no I haven't he is still living in my house.i just wont will not let him have s*x with me,cause of sin.i don't know how long this will go on with him he may move out or I dunno I just know I have to keep my self sane and I know not to marry him ,I just wished he would g...	silent	4	443	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	I got a GOOD one 4 you guys re: BOUNDARIES (Preview) -- Edited by neshema2 on Monday 1st of July 2013 11:03:05 AM	neshema2	3	583	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	Husband is Alcoholic/Pothead... (Preview) Hi there: I am new to this forum and hope to get some help. I do attend local Alanon meetings when I can, but need some help sometimes when there are no meetings or anyone else to talk to. My husband of 16 years is a major pot head but will also settle for getting shit faced if there are no drugs around. I am a soc...	Muffin	5	847	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	My Mom died (Preview) I'm new. My Mom passed away a few weeks ago. She always enabled my brother's drinking problem and gave him money. Since her death, my brother is spiraling downward but I don't think I (or anyone else in the family) can help him. My brother has drank for the last 20 years. My adolescent years were a mes...	lluucy	13	518	Jul 1, 2013 by nancymom4
	To thine own self be true is a good quote (Preview) Some things are really coming to the light for me lately. I care way too much if people like me. I worry all the time if I hurt someone's feelings, if they are upset (and if they are upset then I think I did something wrong), I try and make everyone happy, I lose myself in other people alot. Wow, I sound like...	daisy31	5	470	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	very screwed up family dynamics (Preview) So I'm crying at the moment. Decided I needed my life preserver which is you guys. It is my mom's 90th bday, and my son won't come to her birthday party because he hates my A. He says he is having back troubles but I don't believe he couldn't drive there with his family and sit down for food and cake. I'm s...	Lyne	6	618	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Anger toward the alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. This weekend is a long weekend in Canada. We have Monday off for Canada day. People get excited for the long weekend. They ring off their plans, have a bunch of fun things lined up, they get all excited for the beautiful weather. Me?...	slogan_jim	19	645	Jun 30, 2013 by grateful2be
	Pictures from Eden and a blab (Preview) I am doing much better. Many of you helped me to shape a better outlook about my relationship with my best friend. Don't feel anxious anymore, enjoying him and us for how we are. I feel more complete now. Al Anon gives me such options as far as perspectives, and what to weigh. Problem solving is very impo...	Debilyn	7	540	Jul 1, 2013 by pineapple
	Got a good idea for those who can't stay grounded (Preview) I was pm'ing w/a nice new friend on here who gave me some really, AS usual, good ES&H thought I woudl share with you all something I learned I just want to stop hurting me w/ accidents and then the anger at my inability to pay attention....I stubbed my toe due to NOT paying attention. Then got angry w/m...	neshema2	4	411	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	What Are Some Telltale Signs That Your A is Getting Sober? (Preview) Those of you with ESH, when you look back what can you say were some of the true signs, life changes that your A was really on his/her way to sobriety? Oldergal	oldergal	8	486	Jul 1, 2013 by pinkchip
	Boundaries and Expectations (Preview) Here is a helpful post from a private message that I received from an alanon member from a couple of years ago. It has been really helpful to me in all situations in my life.... Expectations are external, boundaries are internal Expectations are what we have with other people, usually after they fail t...	oldergal	3	584	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	While writing my post "A response to many post" last night... (Preview) I live in a duplex on a cul-da-sac that is usually very quiet. However, last night there was some insane stuff going on between a few of my neighbors. A man that lives right next door to my place, in the same duplex, was shot by a woman that lives a few doors down. He was in the street intoxicated with a gro...	John	4	330	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	It's hard not to be REALLY angry (Preview) So...my exA is spending a whole 3 separate weeks with the kids while they are off from school. They just returned today from their first week this summer with him. I had been pleased because my ex had arranged for martial arts lessons and piano lessons for my 16 yo and had taken him the past couple of weeks...	rehprof	11	472	Jun 30, 2013 by Mattie
	When do you know it's time to move on (Preview) I'm new here and married to an emotionally abusive AH. He doesn't want help. I am so so tired of this life and if I had wings of a dove I would fly away and be at rest.	wings of a dove	8	535	Jun 30, 2013 by giraffe13
	The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back (Preview) I changed my cell phone number yesterday. That has been the main means of communication from my AH. I had told him earlier that if he even pulls in the parking lot of my apartment, I will call the police and so far he has honored that so I usually get phone calls from him. He recently went through his 3rd hos...	wornoutmrsfixit	9	565	Jun 30, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	DUMBEST confession, but its the truth (Preview) I was sitting here, reflecting on the posts and answers to my threads and You all are not going to believe this one...Talk about not feeling worth it I went AWOL on my recovery b/c of 2 things... #1...I got sick of recovery work and wanted to do something ELSE for a change..It felt like a "sentence&q...	neshema2	5	365	Jun 30, 2013 by DavidG
	Is it me?? Or do some of you do this???? (Preview) I have my days where I just CANT focus, can't stay in the now, can't concentrate, mind going faster then my fingers, etc. it shows in my typing when I reverse letters terribly it shows when I do something and mess up and its b/c I am NOT thinking, not paying attention, not in the now, not "present&quo...	neshema2	18	719	Jun 30, 2013 by neshema2
	I'm new to all of this. About to go to my first meeting but have a question. (Preview) Hi, I'm new to all of this and have just located a local meeting that I will be going to on Sunday. I have been dating a guy, in a long distance relationship (200 miles), for a year and a half now. It took awhile because of the infrequency of our seeing each other for me to realize that he is an alcoholic. We h...	eekamouse	13	327	Jun 29, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	Sorry- need to vent in a big way (Preview) My wife got an Operating While Intoxicated charge a couple months ago. Today I took a day off work to drive her to the counselors office for an evaluation for the court, shopping while we waited for the court, attorney appointment, hearing, and initial probation meeting. She was told multiple time...	KennyFenderjazz	8	614	Jun 29, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	Psychology vs Spirituality (Preview) I spent years stuck in an angry place focusing on therapy, meds, and trying to dissect myself and others, figuring out why they did what they did to me when really ill never know why and there's good reason for that...I don't need to know. i found my Solution in literature in another fellowship and I thin...	WorkingThroughIt	4	241	Jun 29, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Alcoholism strikes again (Preview) I had an opportunity this morning to listen, with complete detachment, to the chaos alcoholism creates in families. I was in my bathroom getting ready to go to work when I heard my neighbor's car door slam, and a guy shout "F**K!!!!" at the top of his lungs. It alarmed me at first. I heard pani...	Aloha	3	355	Jun 29, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	STEP 7 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54211866/alanon-step-7/	hotrod	0	739	Jun 29, 2013 by hotrod
	What is a right thing to do after AH stops drinking 5 days (Preview) Can somebody advice on what should a wife do when the AH was drinking for a few days, missed work, household responsibilities, wasted a lot of money. Do we ignore it, do we talk about it, do we act mad or happy. I feel very angry now, but not sure what would be the right approach. Should i just ignore what hap...	Venera	14	594	Jun 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	taking care of me tonight... (Preview) My husband sent me some very ugly texts I didn't respond to any of them. Then he sent me one that said for me to get the 'xxxx' out of his life. So I packed an overnight bag and went to my friends house. Idk what is going on with him but for tonight I don't have to take that treatment from him. I think he is drinkin...	newgirl17	10	446	Jun 29, 2013 by neshema2
	not very alanon (Preview) This forum is such a great tool in recovery but just lately I have become frustrated reading about the pain of living with alcoholism. It has become a bit much reading the same kind of issues over and over. It never ends. If I'm honest I think it's more to do with my own issues with my son. I'm not feeling ve...	el-cee	4	352	Jun 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	update (Preview) Hi Everybody: It's been a while since a post, although I have been coming here and learning a ton from all of you, as always. It seems that if I feel a bit unmoored, or down all I have to do is read a bit on these boards and I recognize myself and feelings immediately, it is empowering for sure. It's been abou...	yanksfan51	7	318	Jun 29, 2013 by Lyne
	moving on takes work! (Preview) Sometimes I feel like I am stuck & can't move on w/ my life. Something has to change. Because if nothing changes, nothing changes. I want to move forward today. I can get so stuck in the past it kills me. But, today I am not going to share any past experiences because I talked to my sober alcoholic &...	Hoot Nanny	4	404	Jun 29, 2013 by Lyne
	Worst. Nana. Ever!! (Preview) That is what my 8 year old grandson said to me last week as we were packing him up to spend the summer with his father in Georgia. I almost forgot to pack his Legos. He then went on to say that he would miss me, and I am to remember that he has a birthday coming up in July. I said I would not forget. We were doubl...	LeenieBeanie	2	500	Jun 29, 2013 by neshema2
	Clarifying how unwell the thinking is .. (Preview) I just want to put out here for those trying to remember that the A in their life is not ok and that yes it is their thinking, keeping the focus on me is where it is at. Last night was visitation with the kids .. first off my daughter gets a text later after court, apparently STBAX must have gone into work and h...	Pushka	5	433	Jun 28, 2013 by canadianguy
	"Are we Butterfllies" (Preview) Chuang Tse, a Chinese Philosopher once dreamt he was a Butterfly. On waking he said to himself "Now , am I a man dreaming that I am a Butterfly, or am I a Butterfly that thinks "I am Chuang"? This message is very profound and could have lots of different meanings, What is your interpret...	Bettina	2	280	Jun 28, 2013 by Bettina
	1st F2F meeting was........GREAT! (Preview) I feel very uplifted today because as nervous as I felt, and briefly got lost on the way to the meeting (and I knew exactly where it was), and with how anxious I felt for about the first half hour, I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF! I shared, I kept an open mind, I heard those words at the end when the chair was reading so...	Lyne	8	342	Jun 28, 2013 by MeTwo2
	What A's do I Keep What A's do I dump (Preview) I have 2 A brothers...named "R" and "P" "R" is a sweetheart...drinker, pretty bad, but at least he can get out of himself and care about another...when not drinking he is a good support , good friend, we laugh a lot and for the most part, he is a "keeper"......	neshema2	2	462	Jun 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	meditation for peace of mind (Preview) Hello MIP family, I was wondering and would like to hear from those of you who have more experience. I am about to leave for a 10-days meditation course (Vipassana). It is a retreat which purpose is to look within and learn to be in the moment, accept what is, experiencing truth and peace of mind. Theref...	tortuga	9	1370	Jun 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	im back,and need esh please (Preview) hi,its me again chinup,silent 2 nics ive used in the past been a way long time since ive been here,well im needing esh on getting married to my a which he has quit drinking 5 mths ago and is doing great we get along fine,but im not thinking im thinking with a full deck of cards right now,im just sooo tired of u...	silent	11	496	Jun 28, 2013 by Debilyn
	Court UpDate :) (Preview) Well .. LOL .. I wish that things could have been resolved .. I swear I'm in and out of court so much someone is going to think I'm an atty. You know it's bad when you are stopped and asked where something is .. I really look way to comfortable in the hallways. So bad news first .. I couldn't believe that my ST...	Pushka	4	499	Jun 28, 2013 by Debilyn
	Tired of my own self! (Preview) Do you ever get the feeling of just being tired of yourself? Like how come we (as wives/girlfriends) can't just 'allow' our drinking s/o to just go out and do his thing? We have a lot of children in the house and clearly a couple of years ago, after almost 20 years of marriage I had had it. My entire family...	tiredof_it	15	538	Jun 28, 2013 by Debilyn
	overwhelmed! (Preview) I am overwhelmed but in a good way! I have to admit that some days have been stressful but if I live in the now, I can recover from the bad days & not keep mentioning what happened yesterday. Yesterday is gone. I am so happy that today can be the best day of my life if I look from the right perspective. I jus...	Hoot Nanny	2	271	Jun 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	Discouraged (Preview) I'm just trying to not give in to disappointment these days but it isn't easy. My workplace is going through a huge overhaul. The mission is getting lost in this transition and only jobs that generate revenue for this non profit are now plentiful. Many of us didn't sign on for this. After losing my mothe...	tiredtonite	5	490	Jun 28, 2013 by tiredtonite
	My son (Preview) As I posted this month, my son was released from prison recently. I would not let him stay here, haven't given him money, rides, clothes, cleaning supplies, food - nothing that I did before with him. He's attending classes, looking for work, and is tethered as parole requirements dictate and curr...	grateful2be	6	467	Jun 27, 2013 by Lyne
	Finding a sponsor (Preview) Hi everyone. I am fairly new to Alanon. I started in January. The F2F group I attend is wonderful. There are a several people in my group just like me, new to Alanon. The group is small. Therein lies the problem. Several of us in the group have all said that we need a sponsor to work the steps. It is...	Clou	3	950	Jun 27, 2013 by neshema2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.