Hey Everyone

Had a GREAT talk with my older A brother...My favorite one..The one who is nice to me, but sadly, he is a full on alkie

He saved his rental, they won't auction off his tools, he scraped up the $$ from friends and jobs and he paid his landlord..We can take a BIG guess why he keeps falling in arrears with his rent

I didnt' say anything, just listened to him, glad he was ok and we had a fantastic talk about Monsanto killing off our bees, from that to the Lobsters all leaving our NE coastal shores to Canada and being caught up by Canada..

"R" is soo smart..Intellectual...Well read and so much fun to talk with..We reminisced about the fun we had when younger and drinking and partying didn't seem to be a threat of a life long addiction which it did to him.

It was about 6pm his time and I eyed the clock b/c I know at that time, about, when he is off work, he mixes himself a drink...Vodka and O.J....and I can tell he is drinking..He begins to get over emotional..he gets louder....I could see it creeping up on him

I didn't say a word, I just knew it was time to exit...Thank goodness we don't live near each other, other wise beating a hasty retreat would be more difficult, but I would find a way...Soo when the alcohol began to effect his speach, I all of a sudden said  "Hey "R" somebody is at the door...gotta go"  He was fine...He said he wanted to talk more, but understood I had to go...

We said our goodbyes and we exchanged "I love you's" and we hung up..

That is what I am going to do when I sense he is drinking....

I am fortunate that we don't live in the same state, however, if we did, I would just say "OM Gosh, I just remembered, I have to leave and do  xxxxxxxxxxxxxx"  and I would make my exit...Something to remove me from being around him when he is drinking

I used to fight with him..Plead with him,. back in my early days of recovery, begging him to get into AA and fighting w/him b/c he did not want to go..Sometimes I would go a month or more without speaking to him to "coerce" him into getting help..

I see now, looking back, I was wrong to try and use force or coercion because unless they want help??? No amount of maneuvering is going to get them into the program...They have to want it

So?? Whatever happens, he is non abusive to me, always sweet and nice to me, I know he loves me dearly and we are such good friends, he is never a threat to me, never has frightened me or made me feel anything bad or scary, so why throw out the baby with the bathwater...I'll just get off the phone when I hear the change in his tone

The abusive ones, I disconnect with..Stay away..No contact..No putting myself out there to be harmed in anyway, but him?? I will just use BALANCE

Anyway, I am so happy he managed to pay his rent on his storage place and saved his tools..He can't work w/out them...I won't send him $$ b/c this is his world, he has created and like John said, I have to take care of me first.....But I can love him and encourage him, but no enabling him or toting his life knapsack that he is capable of carrying...