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step 5
(Preview)
Step 5 is scary. Im doing my first official big step 5 today, revealling all my guilty secrets to cleanse my soul and deepen my recovery. Ive been in alanon for 2 years this month and I have done mini step 5s on a daily basis and with friends really but today, I meet with my sponsor and im going to tell her wha...
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el-cee
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12
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2080
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Sweeping things under the rug
(Preview)
So I realized where I have an issue with my Ex-A that I need to acknowledge. When he came and made his amends, he "swept things under the rug". He then accused me of being "focused" on the past. He knows because "his sponsor" told him. A sponser who has never met me in my li...
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Truth
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13
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433
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when they think, that just not drinking is enough and you should be greateful!
(Preview)
Well I am greatful, for the not drinking but it isn't enough, I need more and I need better, I need to see and feel change from them, I am 50 plus now and life is extremely busy we all work hard and we all get tired quicker and the days we spend out of work are so precious, something that has become a huge part of m...
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Katy
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10
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555
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Right Place Right Time
(Preview)
Let me begin by saying I do not sponsor women anymore. I had some problems with that so the safest solution now is not to. I still am available for chit chat or if you wanna be friends or facebook buddies, I'm very approachable that way, I just avoid those intimate sponsorship relationships with members...
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Wolfie55
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2
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307
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a quiet two weeks.
(Preview)
well its school vacation. we r staying hone for the most part. getting caught up.on family and home stuff. just to.ketyou all know. . as you may remember. .i was hoping for a posibility of a job change. wellll. . .the one i was hoping for let me kniw they were in need of someone with credentials a step above...
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Theoceancalls
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3
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224
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Cry, Pray and then Let go and Let God.
(Preview)
I received a message yesterday from the father of my two oldest daughters. I still randomly send pictures not really having the expectations that he will respond. I have learned to accept that knowing he suffers greatly from his disease. I know that when there is silence its really bad. Each time I fin...
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Mari1978
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5
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503
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Yay!!
(Preview)
Now they say that when life hands you lemons, you ought make lemonade, don't they? And I try to, I really do. I consider it a huge part of my healing. Because there's always a positive, isn't there? A lesson to be learnt at least? A silver lining of some description? So last night Michael Douglas the Cat de...
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Melly1248
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13
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529
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AD Still Does Not Want Me in her Life
(Preview)
Yesterday was my AD and her twin sister's birthday. This is the second birthday since her dad's, my AH, passing. The only time I have been in contact since that time was at her sister's wedding and the day after when we spread my AH's ashes at sea. She also responded to me by email a couple of months ago when...
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Green Eyes
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9
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450
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Relationships and AA
(Preview)
Hi there, I was hoping to get some insight on this. I have recently been re-connected with a man whom I've known from my home town years ago. We were a couple years apart, so didn't go to school together and so I didn't know him that well. About 5 years ago, we met at my work where he had just started, recogniz...
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UCOmar
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5
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749
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just getting too old for this and need help
(Preview)
I turned 50 this year , have been married to S , an alcoholic for 20 years now and have been through unspeakable craziness with my husband due to drinking. Hes had periods of honest to goodness sobriety in the past ( 7 years at one time) but he reminds me of a skipping stone with high times and low times and I...
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lilfriend1964
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13
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512
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Frustrated!!!
(Preview)
AH and I are in the middle of a divorce completely on the part of my AH. He has been mentally and verbally for over a year and a half. He told me he wanted a divorce because he fell out of love with me and will never love me again. I found out two weeks later that he had a girlfriend and had taken her on a weeken...
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mongowal
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6
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358
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Please Daddy Don't Cry
(Preview)
I don't remember if I shared this here before, but I'm just going to throw it out there. It's not an original thought. It's a story I heard someone else tell and I changed it a bit. One day a young girl asked her daddy if they could go for a walk in the park like they used to do. Her daddy said, "not now pri...
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Wolfie55
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3
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391
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Crazy Train... Exit Left :D
(Preview)
Before I Landed at MIP, I was 110% Focused on SOLELY My Family... I Absessed over My Husband, My Son, My Brothers, My Sisters, Mom, Dad, My MIL, My SIL, My Neices, My Nephews How they were Being Raised, Was they Being Taking Care of, Did I have to Go Speak to their Parents (Like I was Queen of the Crop on Makin...
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Jozie
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3
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566
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Need Guidance
(Preview)
So I am either figuring out one if my character defects or triggers. I have discovered that I get defensive when someone "talks down" to someone. I guess I would interpret it as condescending. I feel the need to speak up. Not sure what to do with this one.
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Truth
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11
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457
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STEP 4
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57280663/alanon-step-4/Please
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hotrod
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1
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186
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Serendipity Strikes Again
(Preview)
One day last month I was at work (I'm a condo cop, that's like a mall cop but....well you get it right?). My cell phone rang. Private number. Figured it was a sponcee so I answered it. It was a reporter for the local TV station. After he verified who I was, he starts asking me questions about a photo on - a popu...
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Wolfie55
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3
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424
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Returning Member
(Preview)
I am back after what is it? a year? I couldn't remember my old login information so I created a new account. But it's still me. Wolfie aka Bernie. Hope to re-connect with my old friends here and to make new ones
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Wolfie58
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8
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285
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if all else fails...let go!
(Preview)
I am struggling w/ a few things lately but I am going to let go of them right now. I don't have any control over any of the situations I have been in recently. I don't need to have another meltdown. Some things are just out of my control. I cannot let them bring me down. I talked to another member & she put s...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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266
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Need advise on proper response
(Preview)
I just got home from my weekly f2f meeting. My AS had come over while I was gone. My husband was honest and told him where I was when he asked. It made my son furious and he left mad. How should I respond to him? Not going to al-anon is not an option.
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Sallygcoe
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11
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449
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A Sunday before Easter
(Preview)
Today I went to the store. I saw Easter cards. I wanted to purchase some for my son, my daughter, my grandson and my Dad. Then, I remembered - there is no need to buy him an a card. He isn't here anymore. He's gone. Memories of many years and many shopping trips and many cards and gifts I purchased for m...
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grateful2be
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10
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450
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A Letter from my Son
(Preview)
Got my first letter today from my son and it was nice to hear from him. He said he hasn't gotten all my letters because they were redacted because of the content I guess. I cut and pasted news articles about what is going on around and world. Sucks he can't know about the plane missing or what is happenin...
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Cathyinaz
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18
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673
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Remember that book I said I was going to write?
(Preview)
Remember that book I said I was going to write? I wrote it. I only mention it here because it's about recovery. About the gifts we find in it. About the gifts I have found in recovery. It's an e-book. Not a very big book. I published it myself. Sometimes I sell them. Sometimes I just give them away if it's som...
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Wolfie55
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4
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315
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anxiety
(Preview)
I am suffering from a bout of anxiety these days. I know why but I can't seem to shake it. My mom is selling her house soon if the buyer agrees to the price. She might be gone in less than 2 mos. She plans to go to visit family for 2 graduations next month anyhow. But we will see what happens. I am anxious because...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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274
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when is the right time?
(Preview)
I thought I was being good and putting boundaries in place but unfortunately I can't and/or don't want to keep to them as I don't feel ready yet. The boundary that I stupidly said was that the alcoholic could move back home after they had been sober for three months! Sounds reasonable ? But unfortunate...
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southernlass
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6
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407
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Have I done the right thing?
(Preview)
Have just shared my concerns with the alcoholic about them moving back home in 2 weeks and it went just as expected. It was turned round so that it was all about them. They tried to make me feel guilty about changing the goal posts (which I guess I have) but when I explained why have I and that I was not read...
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southernlass
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10
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524
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I need a sponsor
(Preview)
I want to start off right away with a sponsor. I am female and need someone that married an alcoholic. the problems are starting and it has only been a week since I married him. Please help.
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beenaproblem
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3
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324
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A lovely powerless weekend.
(Preview)
OK so this weekend I've been trying to get back to that "let go and let God" and "do the next right thing" combo that was working so well for me. Because I've come to realise that when I get caught up in the "big picture" and how everyone fits into it and what I need THEM to do...
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Melly1248
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10
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483
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Back in the saddle ....
(Preview)
Well I had an excellent day. Got caught up at work. Just about organized at home. Helped out a friend. Just peaceful and happy.
Got started on organizing my notes if I need them for the Ex-A return and mediation session.
Grateful to all of you for assisting me along through this learning curve
...
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Truth
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2
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282
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***ATTENTION ALL MIP MEMBERS***
(Preview)
http://meetinginfo.activeboard.com/t57236795/wso-registration-procedure-group-liaisons-findings/
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John
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4
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452
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I'm so smart
(Preview)
I remembered that I was accessing this site on an old laptop, so I did some messing around and now I'm back as wolfie55 instead of wolfie58. I'm smarter than I thought I was.;)
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Wolfie55
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5
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272
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Fault Finding....
(Preview)
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately of alcoholism. It is a progressive disease, family disease, and many more. When my AH was working full time he never drank. It was after he was in a forced retirement that got him started. My husband has a severe form of tinnitus (ringing in his ear with nerve...
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Jen61
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8
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482
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Sunday
(Preview)
Good Morning all It's Sunday and I'm lying in bed this early morning reading everyone's posts and feeling the love I have for all of you. Even though I don't personally know you I have this bond that I can't explain. It's like your all right there when I need you. I'm at peace this morning, I worked my bu...
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Cathyinaz
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8
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357
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Getting Them Sober
(Preview)
Hi everybody! I've been noticing a lot of new faces around here, and would like to bring up the topic of the book Getting Them Sober by Toby Rice Drews. Even though it isn't official 12-step literature, it came highly recommended to me at a meeting. It was a real game-changer for me in my ongoing recovery...
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Raven Juniper
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10
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931
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More detail
(Preview)
I guess I should elaborate. I was using WolfIe55 as my old username so all those posts are mine. I was out of work for about six months, lost my internet, can't access my old account yet. I'm back though with more stories and to hear more of yours. So what's new. I have a ho-hum job that pays the bills. The rec...
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Wolfie58
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0
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263
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Being true to myself
(Preview)
As many of you know I have been dating and really am very picky about the type of men I meet. I have only met a few men in the last year and a half. The newest one seems to be the healthiest yet and I am excited. In this excitement comes trepidation, am I healthy enough, is it finally time to have met a prince amo...
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Breakingfree
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3
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406
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Are my boundries too rigid?
(Preview)
Is it possible that I am making my AH jump thru too many hoops to return home? He was in rehab and is currently in Intensive Outpatient and in a half way house far from home. He has no car and no job and has been putting all his expenses on his credit card. I don't think I am being harsh when I tell him that he...
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jillybean1
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12
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472
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I have stumbled...
(Preview)
last night. A wave of sadness has overcome me and I have let the tears run out wildly. I think i had a sort of panic attack, feeling all my losses tenfold. well I thought it was good to cry and feel my pain after that I went to bed and had a deep sleep. pity parties are a dangerous place to be in for me. for in that m...
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tortuga
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10
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500
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Hello...new here and looking for some kind words of support or simply someone to listen.
(Preview)
My husband and I have a handful of wonderful friends. Friends that I am so tempted to confide in about my husband's addiction and bipolar episodes. There are many days that DH is perfectly fine, then episodes of addiction, OCD, paranoia, lack of sleep for days. I find myself making excuses (enabl...
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feelingdefeated
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11
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487
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maybe this is unrelated...
(Preview)
Just want to say that the 1st edition of the Big Book of AA was re-printed on April 10th which is the 75th anniversary of its first printing. Kathleen
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Hoot Nanny
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0
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181
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Thinking about Love!
(Preview)
What is your idea of love? Has it changed since Alanon? How do you know you love your alcoholic and how do you know he loves you as opposed to needing each other?
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el-cee
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10
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503
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Can't get a god perspective
(Preview)
I cannot get the perspective that I obviously should according to the al-anon way. My AS is completely consuming my every thought and action. I feel like there is a rubber band around my heart. When you love them so much and are so filled with fear how do you find any kind of perspective? I'm so stressed!...
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Sallygcoe
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9
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304
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I wonder.
(Preview)
Ridiculous optimism is something I have been accused of many times. And I suppose it really has been excessive; when other people have been throwing their hands in the air and screaming "the sky is falling" I've always been the one saying "all right, don't get your knickers in a twist...
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Melly1248
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13
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552
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Small victory for me ... I think
(Preview)
My AS came over this afternoon, very ainxed (sp?) . He had asked if he could come over and have some dinner. I said yes. When he was here he did not want to talk or be talked to. He just wanted to sit in front of the tv and sulk. I got up and found the next right thing to do... Water plants and unload the dishwasher...
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Sallygcoe
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5
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401
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I still love my AH
(Preview)
My AH has completely blocked me out of his life. Stating he has a new girlfriend and that he will get sober with her. The new girlfriend is twice as young as him and is a university student. I do not know what to say I guess their is nothing to say. I guess that is part of why I want to leave the city I live in....
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texasgal
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13
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543
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truth or lies
(Preview)
Anymore I don't know what is true or what is a lie. I told my Ah I went to an open AA meeting that was wonderful. It had so much wisdom and openness and truth. My AH will not go because he will not be in a program that doesn't identify Jesus as the HP. I said everyone has selected who their HP can be. Then I tell h...
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hopes314
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11
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510
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I went to look at a new place to live!
(Preview)
Yesterday I had plans to view a room advertised in a shared house, it appealed so much to me in the advert because it was set in so many acres of farm land and it said they had a cat and two friendly dogs and the house was sociable and upbeat, I have not been in a position to go this far through finance before so I...
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Katy
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6
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345
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Who is this sober person I'm married to?
(Preview)
My wife descended into alcoholism about seven years into our marriage. I know that she may have technically been an alcoholic since birth, but during the early years of our marriage, she drank in moderation, and I rarely saw her drunk. That all started to change at about the seven year point. I coul...
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John in GA
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7
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5935
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Today's chuckle
(Preview)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/alcohol-unfairly-blamed-for-local-mans-impaired-ju,35745/
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KennyFenderjazz
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3
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245
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Today's other success story.
(Preview)
I didn't feel like going to a meeting today, I had a zillion other things I wanted to do but I KNEW it was the next right thing for me so I went. It is school holidays so daughter stayed home with dog and cat curled up in front of the heater watching a movie and I entrusted her with the house key for the first tim...
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Melly1248
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8
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369
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Levelling Pride and Allowing Others To Own Their Stuff
(Preview)
I was thinking about my next door neighbor this morning. when I first moved in last fall I went out onto the back porch to smoke. i didn't know I wasn't allowed to smoke outside or anywhere on the property, I just knew there was no smoking inside. this was in the middle of the night. Suddenly I heard loud yel...
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WorkingThroughIt
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3
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319
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can you really do it?
(Preview)
Can you really live with an active alcoholic and live a happy life? Can it really be done and if so do you have to live seperate lives? How can you focus on your program if its challenged constantly? It just seems to me that the people in alanon who really work this and are happy have sober partners or have le...
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el-cee
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23
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654
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The Roller Coaster Of Life....
(Preview)
Hey Peeps :) Welp this Last Month Sure has Had its Ups, Downs & turns that felt like my Insides would soon be on my Outside! Survival is def. Key in this Disease & In Life in General! In the Last Month, My Aunt Had her Cancer Surgery, "doing Well" :) Now doing 6wks Radiation to make sure...
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Jozie
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3
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420
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Slowly but surely....Long Rambly Post
(Preview)
It's funny how this program has been like a little bottle of spray cleaner in my life. I find myself stating my intentions like its a big deal, then see that my actions actually work against my so called purpose. I find myself slipping back into old habits a bit more frequently lately, so I need to re-read...
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Raven Juniper
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3
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395
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do I stay or do I go
(Preview)
I have been separated from my AH for awhile. He filed for divorce saying I was crazy and would have anxiety attacks. Which I did I can admit to that. It was awful living with an alcoholic. I felt crazy all the time. He has a new girlfriend and sent me a text stating that he was doing so much better witho...
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texasgal
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4
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431
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guilt
(Preview)
I didn't handle an alcoholic well yesterday, and I have been suffering guilt on and off. It's so ironic to me that after all the raging, scaring, and insane behavior he brings to my family, that I am feeling guilty. He asked me to do something yesterday that would have taken just minutes, and he is reco...
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Lyne
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5
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371
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understanding: anger is the abuse I suffer from
(Preview)
I realized, as soon as A made contact again, how anger gets to me every time. They may be other forms of abuse, but under the bottom line, it is always anger that get to me. I learned in Al anon and through meditation how to stop reacting. For teasing and provocations were and are many. And I'm grateful for t...
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tortuga
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3
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397
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lol!!
(Preview)
Oh dear. I've just gotten back from my meeting. It was wonderful I rode my bike there, feeling fabulous and free riding in the rain when a car began madly tooting behind me. It was cat lady, who came to a stop beside me shouting and gesturing furiously (she was SO ANGRY!!!) because I wasn't wearing a he...
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Melly1248
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17
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482
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He keeps leaving messages
(Preview)
Gosh... My ex-A has left four messages (asked him not to call) and I am just not interested in even trying to co-parent. I have not returned one call, text or e-mail. I use to feel guilty about that. Under normal circumstances, (if the person was nice I would return the call) Progress?
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Truth
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6
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350
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all over the place
(Preview)
Hi all ....thank you for the comments to my last post. I re read them and try to digest. My emotions are like a runaway train to be quite honest. My family member did have his surgery on Monday and all went well. My AH stayed home willingly, (but....)with our daughter so I could go to the hosp last night...h...
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Theoceancalls
|
9
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377
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Anger/Resentment
(Preview)
How did I become this person? I am completely unhinged.....again...after putting myself together over and over and over again over the years, I divorced (for the 3rd time...) , and relocated last year to my childhood state, bought a home and brought my mom (acoa) and my 52 year old unmarried alcoholi...
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Mnuser320
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10
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336
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