The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am suffering from a bout of anxiety these days. I know why but I can't seem to shake it. My mom is selling her house soon if the buyer agrees to the price. She might be gone in less than 2 mos. She plans to go to visit family for 2 graduations next month anyhow. But we will see what happens. I am anxious because besides my husband, she is the only family I have up here. Maybe I am projecting but I am already feeling the stress. I hope I don't get depressed. As someone said before, I can visit her but really I can't. The last time I went down there I had an episode that wasn't pretty. I ended up leaving early & never even got to see my dad.
Now I am sitting here w/ no plans for the weekend. I mentioned before that I had planned to speak & tell my story tomorrow. I am just glad really that I am not doing it at this point. Maybe in the future, I don't know. My future is always uncertain.
Today I have back & leg pain like I had before. I just want to feel better.
Dear Hoot, I have no family up here either, but my online friends and church friends do just fine until I retire and maybe move. I visit family every few years but it is very expensive. I use to have anxiety attacks, I took meds for awhile and then I realized I must get on without meds because life will always have its challenges. What I figured out is that I was not living by my own convictions. In other words I was not "walking my talk" Time was and is now spent on what I like and who I am, after being so co-dependent for so many years. It took a while but with the help of my HP, I am a different person now without anxiety. Living away from family taught me how to be strong and depend on myself and a few good friends and my HP. Getting my negative thoughts, my ego and personality flaws out of the way are what I work on now. In other words "getting myself out of the way" for HP to lead me in the right direction. ..... og
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
Thanks Kathleen. Nice to see ya. I read something last month. "Anxiety indicates a lack of faith." It was a longer reading but that was the thing that jumped off the page. It doesn't mean I don't believe, just at the moment I'm experiencing the anxiety, my faith is not as strong as it could be. I don't know if it applies to you. I really only know my own story, but when I experience anxiety or worry or nervousness, it's because I haven't been doing my spiritual stuff as strong as I need to be doing it. Part of the reason I came back here. I've been away over a year and I've been experiencing doubt and anxiety and all those old feelings of being less than, and nobody likes me anyway, etc. etc. and those are dangerous thoughts for me. So I came back to get grounded again.
Been flipping through posts and yours really touched a nerve. My daughter, whom I have shared about many times on here, is not my real daughter. I got her through my second marriage and it seemed that I was the only real father she had ever known. One day she mentioned her biological father and instantly I was gripped by a fear that oh yeah you'll go meet him and forget about me and then I'll just be the guy that married your mom. That's how my thinking works when I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. So, that night, I included this whole situation in my prayers and put my trust in his will and I slept peacefully. Well the next day she met her father and he hadn't changed much and she still didn't want to be a part of his life and she hugged me and said I was the only father she needed. Now, God didn't make that happen; that would have happened anyway. All God did was remove my anxiety and help me sleep better.
Well I dont know if that helps but there it is anyway.
;)
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
