Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Venera · Venera

I am still puzzled by the detachment. A lot of times i read that no matter what we say to an A he won't do anything untill he hits his bottom, etc.. I understand I need to my mind my own business, worry about my recovery and detach from him. But does it mean never discuss his drinking? I understand about not ta...

Yazzymedo86 · Yazzymedo86

Hi All, I want to thank you for the response I received to my last post. I can not begin to explain how much it helped. Since my last post, my husband is acting worse. I keep telling him we need to sit down and talk. He keeps avoiding me. I cant stand it when he is using he becomes a different person. I know I s...

singingnick377 · singingnick377

Hi Everyone, This is my first time on this website. I have done a meeting but not posted anything in the forum. I used to attend meetings in Amsterdam when I lived there. I have been experiencing a lot of muscle tension in my body for the last four years. It started with jaw tension and is not the best thing a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Some people have it bad..... WOW

el-cee · el-cee

Confidence, self worth, self belief, self care, honesty, self respect. This is what I got by going to meetings and learning this program. Thats when everything changed. When youve got a bit of this then untreated alcoholism is just not good enough -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 8th of September 2014 0...

Alicea67 · Alicea67

I've been dealing with my alcoholic/schizophrenic son for more than 15 yrs. he has been to rehabs, incarceration, homelessness,etc. He doesn't seem to have a bottom. The biggest problem that I have with him is that I'm his SS benefits payee. I pay for his room and food and the rest of the money he is usi...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I know I need to keep my focus on myself and I try to do that most times, but last night was a very stressful night. My AH went on a binge and did not come home. I have read my ODAT, prayed to HP and cried. Nothing is relieving my FEAR and pain. I have been calling him repeatedly since early this morning. No...

likemyheart · likemyheart

So, this morning I'm standing at the sink doing dishes and watching the birds enjoy their morning feast of grapes from my one huge Sigmund the Sea Monster vine and thinking - I like grapes, they're good grapes, but I don't eat many, they have seeds, but that isn't why I don't eat them, I just don't eat more...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi -My sponsor is away for a week and for the first time, in over a year of working together, I miss the daily contact, and it's only the first day! I feel a loss and I know when she gets back, we will continue as usual. During the past 10 yrs or so, I have rejected new people who wished to be friends with me. I...

lookingup · lookingup

Son invited me to come up and spend the night with him and cook out,enjoying it seems though like my greiveing is harder today I've been trying to keep him off my mind by washing my car,visiting getting out of town and of course come ing here to share I'm been catching myself blinking back my tears,I'm sai...

joker · joker

Well, my Abf decided to drink last night, first on an empty stomach and then we ate dinner. He drank till 5:30 am this morning. I went to bed at 10 pm and told him not to bother me. He let me sleep and that was great. He sat up all night and watched TV and talked to himself. I had to laugh as I woke up a few times and h...

pinkchip · pinkchip

In my active drinking, I used to absolutely not care about living in filth and it even filtered down to my own hygiene. I always had my partners in relationships cleaning up my messes and getting on to me to help (which I rarely, if ever did). My current husband do not do this, partially because he just k...

Temple · Temple

I started a new topic because I can't post to an existing thread, for some reason. I'm married to an Alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in decades. He got off the stuff without rehab, detox, anything. We had a period when he was using Listerine by the quart (you don't have to drink it--it absorbs through t...

Tampa · Tampa

The Spiritual Meeting will start promptly at 10 A.M. EST Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room Sunday 9/7 10 A.M. EST - Story: FEELING BETTER WITHOUT KNOWING IT. The website link to the group meeting room ishttp://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html . There are other ways to join the room...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Just love all the new faces.....you are all so beautiful...Thank you for letting me in to see you all. I changed my pic...wow am I getting old and the bags under my eyes from working so much is getting to my face and body. Today I'm still sitting in bed and it's 10:30 and I don't care. I think...

Debb · Debb

AH saves his drinking for the week-ends now, which means I have to stay out of his way otherwise it is just a series of nasty remarks and conversations taken out of context. I liken the situation to the Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde syndrome. I work all week long too, but I guess he feels that he works harder than...

el-cee · el-cee

I thought this was really funny in a sad kind of way so thought I would share. A nurse had an alcoholic husband and she got herself to alanon, she got a bit of a support network and one member picked her up and gave her a lift to the meetings in her car. One particular night the member waited on the nurse in the...

el-cee · el-cee

That odaat recently has been amazing, either that or ive become more open. This is the third time round that im reading the daily readings and its like I never read it before. Today spoke to me. It starts with a questiin, 'have I been trying to live the alanon program?' This got me thi king right away beca...

Luiza · Luiza

At first I was confused and bewildered: ""Are people really using their real name on an internet forum? And to discuss such personal stories and experiences too? They use their real photo! It's crazy!"" No it isn't. This is a place of honesty and acceptance, love and true willi...

lookingup · lookingup

Bf way to get his foot in the door ,I've only got a jacket and statue that's. to worth much and he has no place to put them its hot outside he don't need his coat,he left a huge box of winter clothes that he didn't even mention.its his way if he can just get here to my house and it be ok with me then he figures he can...

Madecrazygirl · Madecrazygirl

At my wits end. He is 9 months into "Recovery". He's turned from a drunk to a passive agressive horror story. the lovely man I met 20 years ago and married 18 years ago is someone I don't know any more. If it hadn't been for the fact that I face losing my home (that I have worked my butt off for for a...

andromeda · andromeda

AH and I sat down this AM to go over my 'letter' that I gave him where I explained what our reality is and I was as honest and gentle as I could be. He took that as a door to say that we need to separate because he said I'll never be able to trust him and that I'll never NOT fear him and/or his actions. I told him I k...

Diva · Diva

"Trouble is, we get crushed and they can often bounce right back up to start the madness all over again" If ever a sentence were true, it's this one. I lived with this nonsense for 13 years. Diva -- Edited by Diva on Saturday 6th of September 2014 11:17:40 AM

KRae · KRae

I am losing hope more and more of any chance of a happy ending with my alcoholic boyfriend. He Once Had 7 years sober and now relapsed 2 years ago. His anger, lies, verbal lashing and deceitfulness are getting worse every day. Does anyone have a story of their alcoholic getting better? Of trust bein...

Yazzymedo86 · Yazzymedo86

My husband was in a recovery program for 3 months. We live outside of the states right now so here they offer work for those who have completed 3 months in the location. Anyway, my husband goes for 8 days and comes for 3 days home. 3 days ago he said he got in an argument with someone lost his temper and decid...

el-cee · el-cee

Hope was the topic at my meeting this week and it was the first thing I got in alanon, as soon as I heard people say the word alcoholism. Its funny I lived with it for almost 20 years and noone ever said the words. To hear them used openly gave me hope because it was the first move away from the denial that I knew...

lookingup · lookingup

Bf called me he sounded like he might be sick he just asked if I was ready to exchange our stuff but I'm no longer needing the things he got of mine and what I'm holding of his id planned on selling it to at least get some of my money back,I did ask him where he was staying at he said here and there.so I told him not...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

When I'm at an Al-Anon Adult Child meeting, am I allowed to mention smoking or over-eating as a symptom of my adult child issues? If you have an answer would you please back it up with literature if possible? I haven't done this, but in would like to know the truth so I don't break Traditions.

Mattie · Mattie

Being a single parent is a high-wire act, especially with a demanding job that requires a good deal of travel. Until recently I had relatives in town, but now after a crisis of their own, they have moved away, so I am lacking one more piece of back-up. A low-paying, high-travel job - not a good combinat...

JustJill · JustJill

Hello. Have not been here in a while. Going on ten years with ABF. Here is the new dilemma. He has a son that comes over other weekend to stay with us, he is 15. It is my house and my cabin and abf lives with me. Last weekend was the long holiday weekend. He picks up son, picks up me and we go to my lake home. My da...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Why are 3 day weekends so short and 4 day work weeks soooo long? LOL? I'm just exhausted at the moment and all of us have been battling some form of illness. I think we are all mostly on the mend. Tomorrow night I am the Alanon speaker for a birthday meeting and that is pretty exciting. I have a vague idea...

Cat lady · Cat lady

I'm sure no matter how I try to keep this short, I'll still go on and on. I apologize and thank you for your patience. I've been married 12 years and have 3 amazing boys. My spouse denies an alcohol problem since he doesn't drink to the point of blacking out regularly. He does, however, hide his drink...

milkwood · milkwood

Our couples counsellor is advising that I simply draw a line and that AH and I need to start afresh without looking back. I'm finding that line difficult to draw. She is encouraging us to be (gently) physically intimate but much as I enjoy the contact I also feel resentments rising in me because we are...

el-cee · el-cee

Im beginning to notice some walls I have built up that I thought I had knocked down, maybe I did but some of them seem to be back. I have walls around me in most aspects of my life. In relationships, I can go so far but cant fully commit mentally, cant quite accept the full person, warts and all into my life. In...

Flower49 · Flower49

Today I am just sick and tired of hearing repeatedly that I have to be patient, understanding, caring to my AH and his needs. He once again this week did not progress from his 4th step onto his 5th. He is now 4 months in at the house and is the only one that hasn't move forward. I have heard from him that is was b...

midnightskies · midnightskies

I religiously went to Al-Anon about 7-8 years ago and stopped going after a few years, not because I thought I was well or cured, but because I started a business with my qualifier. I no longer "had time" to attend meetings because our little business started to flourish and grow. I realiz...

lookingup · lookingup

I haven't heard from bf in 4 days not a word ,he sure is staying low not that I want to see him but I do tend to over exaggerate and my imaginations can go hay wire a lot I may be crazy ,but I do kinda like to know what's up with him or where's he staying and working .mainly I wonder if he is ok.i got my bus. Done today...

blessed · blessed

This has been a week of driving, driving and more driving. Thursday we drove from N. Virginia to S. Atlanta (9 hours). We hung out here a few days and then headed to Florida (5-6 hours). And we had perfecet weather and no traffic delays. Praise God. We did see a very bad accident (in the opposite lanes) whe...

NL14 · NL14

Hi all, I've been away from the board for a couple of weeks while on vacation. And things have been pretty good. After a very rough July, my AH was much better in August, drinking very little, trying to take better care of himself, etc., and we really had no conflict. I've been taking better care of myself...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Interesting discussion in class today. I'm so loving it; I love the people, I love where it is taking my career plans, I love what I am learning, I love feeling energetic, wanting to be up early, it's all so positive. As much as it was an unexpected career shift for me, I feel really good about where I am at a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Went to a meeting this morning. It was sad and depressing. This is my home group...but I have decided it no longer fits me. People do not have a lot of recovery and I find it sad and it brings me down. People come in really late and today 3 or 4 people left early. I found it annoying and disturbing. Plus theres...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

It's only been a few days since we lost my bf's mom. Yesterday he phone one of his kids to see how they were doing and was told they and the other grandkids were going next week to clean out the grandmother's home. They said they wanted to help. It seems they got the ok to do this from bf's sibling. Meanwh...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I made a list of why my dry ah and i are getting divorced. It is not pretty. I put it on my ipad so i can read it as often as i need to. I have been in a lot of emotional pain and crying often. My head has been spinning, someone on a divorce forum mentioned writing a list to reread when we needed a reality check of wh...

Jerry F · Jerry F

For me, for certain...there is. Yesterday I almost killed Eugene. Not intentionally, just by that weird process of circumstances...lots of them. What happened? A manager of the hotel that I contract to asked me to do an "extra"...cutting back tree branches which were too close...

Mattie · Mattie

In some ways it's worse having an A who's a binge drinker. (Of course, there are no good ways for a drinking A to be, so all the ways are "worse.") But what I mean is that I get in a routine of expecting him to be sober, because it's been that way for X many months or years, and then I get more blinds...

lookingup · lookingup

I put new deadbolts on both my doors for safety,I've had to stay here day in day out cause bf took my extra house key and wouldn't give it back to me.so I'm now sitting here waiting for a person to come put my new ones on,what a week this has. been I'm feel drained everyday trying to keep everything together h...

lookingup · lookingup

I would t know who to call if he should showed up,that's a scary thought cause he will show up sooner or later.i don't know what to expect out of him.but I did get my dead bolts on my doors thank goodness that took a load off of me.feeling peaceful

lookingup · lookingup

Tonight's topic was on how to let go of resentments which hit home for me, cause I so resent allowing my abf come back into my home only to make things worse and then kicking him out again that I resent I should've never let him back in my house i have a hatred toward him and i hurt also for all that I've allowed...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Page of the day; ODAAT; September 3rd....247...."If you cannot make yourself what you would like to be, how can you expect to have another person exactly to your wishes? We want to see others perfect, yet our own faults go unattended. Done...can't say anything better to myself. Working i...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Feeling crazier than ever lately. Emotions are all over the place. I guess I am just a weak, fragile person. Last week AH and I were arguing about the house situation. I made a decision and he didn't like it. Then we were being civil. Then we went out to dinner with our daughter. The next thing I know...he w...

lvngsobr · lvngsobr

Hello, I am new to Al-Anon, but not new to recovery. I have been in AA for a little over a year and a half. I work a program, go to meetings, have a sponsor, work the steps, etc. I started dating a fellow AA member about 8 months ago. If I didn't qualify for Al-Anon before, then I definitely do now. We've alread...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, just been to a meeting topic was step three. wow I have been handing my will and life over ad really meaning it of late. I do not want to be insane doing things over and over that I know do not work I have learnt this the hard way. Peace is in Gods will I may not see it today but he can see round corners I rea...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

He is actually my step-grandfather. He has started drinking a lot in the past 5 years according to my mom. She tells me about crazy stuff he does. He is 92 years old and just had his birthday. I am not as close to him as my cousin is. So my cousin lives 9 hrs away from us. She called my grandfather on his birthda...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

There's not an anniversary card that says "I'm only still with you as I can't trust you not to harm the kids on visitation". Was our anniversary today, surprised at my emotions - we haven't been more than co parents for months now and thought I had come to terms with it but found myself so overw...

joker · joker

Its been another week with the abf. He has been sober for 5 days now and decided he is going to go for a beer at the local pub but not get drunk. What insane lies. I decided I would not be near him while he is drinking. I came back to my apartment. On Saturday, I went camping without him as he did not want to be arou...

stephaniej · stephaniej

It has been a long while since I have posted here. I hope you are well and working your own recoveries. There are big changes underway on my end. My AH, who spent a year working out of state, returned home for good in early July, and has been working locally. His drinking and behavior is spiraling, and...

jessbuddy0014 · jessbuddy0014

I posted last night a brief introduction about myself... As I'm reading other posts, I see that many people here are currently dealing with the A in their daily lives. That is not the case for me... So I was curious, who else out there is working the program but is not currently dealing with the A? Who is ex...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I loved jillybean's post, so I thought I'd use it as a spring board. Well, I have begun working on step 4. I took a piece of paper and divided it in halves. On one side I put a smiley face and on the other side I put a frowny face. On my happy face side, I began listing all the characteristics that I like about m...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

hi all, been busy but wanted to share this interesting story. so....I was in a really bad mood so I decided to go off and have my own little "poor me" party and sit and sulk by myself for awhile. Well I got bored with that pretty quick so I read the newspaper and it was an article about Ro...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I didn't know Al-anon was on Facebook... https://www.facebook.com/AlAnonFamilyGroupsWSO PS....Twitter https://twitter.com/AlAnon_WSO -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Sunday 31st of August 2014 04:03:37 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Detachment = no talk? (Preview) I am still puzzled by the detachment. A lot of times i read that no matter what we say to an A he won't do anything untill he hits his bottom, etc.. I understand I need to my mind my own business, worry about my recovery and detach from him. But does it mean never discuss his drinking? I understand about not ta...	Venera	14	825	Sep 9, 2014 by Venera
	I need some support again :( (Preview) Hi All, I want to thank you for the response I received to my last post. I can not begin to explain how much it helped. Since my last post, my husband is acting worse. I keep telling him we need to sit down and talk. He keeps avoiding me. I cant stand it when he is using he becomes a different person. I know I s...	Yazzymedo86	10	576	Sep 9, 2014 by pinkchip
	Letting it begin with me (Preview) Hi Everyone, This is my first time on this website. I have done a meeting but not posted anything in the forum. I used to attend meetings in Amsterdam when I lived there. I have been experiencing a lot of muscle tension in my body for the last four years. It started with jaw tension and is not the best thing a...	singingnick377	12	600	Sep 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	I 10 Freeway (Preview) Some people have it bad..... WOW	Cathyinaz	11	605	Sep 9, 2014 by PP
	do you really want change? (Preview) Confidence, self worth, self belief, self care, honesty, self respect. This is what I got by going to meetings and learning this program. Thats when everything changed. When youve got a bit of this then untreated alcoholism is just not good enough -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 8th of September 2014 0...	el-cee	11	679	Sep 8, 2014 by PP
	Sharing first time (Preview) I've been dealing with my alcoholic/schizophrenic son for more than 15 yrs. he has been to rehabs, incarceration, homelessness,etc. He doesn't seem to have a bottom. The biggest problem that I have with him is that I'm his SS benefits payee. I pay for his room and food and the rest of the money he is usi...	Alicea67	5	521	Sep 8, 2014 by tiredtonite
	At wits end ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I know I need to keep my focus on myself and I try to do that most times, but last night was a very stressful night. My AH went on a binge and did not come home. I have read my ODAT, prayed to HP and cried. Nothing is relieving my FEAR and pain. I have been calling him repeatedly since early this morning. No...	Hullibee	43	1601	Sep 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Grapes (Preview) So, this morning I'm standing at the sink doing dishes and watching the birds enjoy their morning feast of grapes from my one huge Sigmund the Sea Monster vine and thinking - I like grapes, they're good grapes, but I don't eat many, they have seeds, but that isn't why I don't eat them, I just don't eat more...	likemyheart	7	444	Sep 8, 2014 by milkwood
	surprised @ myself (Preview) Hi -My sponsor is away for a week and for the first time, in over a year of working together, I miss the daily contact, and it's only the first day! I feel a loss and I know when she gets back, we will continue as usual. During the past 10 yrs or so, I have rejected new people who wished to be friends with me. I...	Lyne	3	351	Sep 8, 2014 by singingnick377
	Out of town (Preview) Son invited me to come up and spend the night with him and cook out,enjoying it seems though like my greiveing is harder today I've been trying to keep him off my mind by washing my car,visiting getting out of town and of course come ing here to share I'm been catching myself blinking back my tears,I'm sai...	lookingup	9	525	Sep 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	Had a good sleep (Preview) Well, my Abf decided to drink last night, first on an empty stomach and then we ate dinner. He drank till 5:30 am this morning. I went to bed at 10 pm and told him not to bother me. He let me sleep and that was great. He sat up all night and watched TV and talked to himself. I had to laugh as I woke up a few times and h...	joker	1	464	Sep 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	My mess (Funny, yet true) (Preview) In my active drinking, I used to absolutely not care about living in filth and it even filtered down to my own hygiene. I always had my partners in relationships cleaning up my messes and getting on to me to help (which I rarely, if ever did). My current husband do not do this, partially because he just k...	pinkchip	18	711	Sep 7, 2014 by likemyheart
	Staying sober w/o a recovery plan. (Preview) I started a new topic because I can't post to an existing thread, for some reason. I'm married to an Alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in decades. He got off the stuff without rehab, detox, anything. We had a period when he was using Listerine by the quart (you don't have to drink it--it absorbs through t...	Temple	8	629	Sep 7, 2014 by andromeda
	Sunday 9/7 10 A.M. EST SPIRITUAL STUDY - Story: FEELING BETTER WITHOUT KNOWING IT. (Preview) The Spiritual Meeting will start promptly at 10 A.M. EST Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room Sunday 9/7 10 A.M. EST - Story: FEELING BETTER WITHOUT KNOWING IT. The website link to the group meeting room ishttp://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html . There are other ways to join the room...	Tampa	0	261	Sep 7, 2014 by Tampa
	Happy Saturday (Preview) Hi Everyone Just love all the new faces.....you are all so beautiful...Thank you for letting me in to see you all. I changed my pic...wow am I getting old and the bags under my eyes from working so much is getting to my face and body. Today I'm still sitting in bed and it's 10:30 and I don't care. I think...	Cathyinaz	8	509	Sep 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	Gonna be a long week-end!! (Preview) AH saves his drinking for the week-ends now, which means I have to stay out of his way otherwise it is just a series of nasty remarks and conversations taken out of context. I liken the situation to the Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde syndrome. I work all week long too, but I guess he feels that he works harder than...	Debb	10	616	Sep 6, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	the nurse (Preview) I thought this was really funny in a sad kind of way so thought I would share. A nurse had an alcoholic husband and she got herself to alanon, she got a bit of a support network and one member picked her up and gave her a lift to the meetings in her car. One particular night the member waited on the nurse in the...	el-cee	4	331	Sep 6, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	todays odaat (Preview) That odaat recently has been amazing, either that or ive become more open. This is the third time round that im reading the daily readings and its like I never read it before. Today spoke to me. It starts with a questiin, 'have I been trying to live the alanon program?' This got me thi king right away beca...	el-cee	4	728	Sep 6, 2014 by Debb
	Another reason why I love it here (Preview) At first I was confused and bewildered: ""Are people really using their real name on an internet forum? And to discuss such personal stories and experiences too? They use their real photo! It's crazy!"" No it isn't. This is a place of honesty and acceptance, love and true willi...	Luiza	17	628	Sep 6, 2014 by Debb
	Bf trying to get his foot back in the door (Preview) Bf way to get his foot in the door ,I've only got a jacket and statue that's. to worth much and he has no place to put them its hot outside he don't need his coat,he left a huge box of winter clothes that he didn't even mention.its his way if he can just get here to my house and it be ok with me then he figures he can...	lookingup	4	446	Sep 6, 2014 by PP
	Ultimate crazy making day (Preview) At my wits end. He is 9 months into "Recovery". He's turned from a drunk to a passive agressive horror story. the lovely man I met 20 years ago and married 18 years ago is someone I don't know any more. If it hadn't been for the fact that I face losing my home (that I have worked my butt off for for a...	Madecrazygirl	5	517	Sep 6, 2014 by Madecrazygirl
	We're planning on separating (Preview) AH and I sat down this AM to go over my 'letter' that I gave him where I explained what our reality is and I was as honest and gentle as I could be. He took that as a door to say that we need to separate because he said I'll never be able to trust him and that I'll never NOT fear him and/or his actions. I told him I k...	andromeda	24	877	Sep 6, 2014 by blessed
	grateful2be said this: (Preview) "Trouble is, we get crushed and they can often bounce right back up to start the madness all over again" If ever a sentence were true, it's this one. I lived with this nonsense for 13 years. Diva -- Edited by Diva on Saturday 6th of September 2014 11:17:40 AM	Diva	3	347	Sep 6, 2014 by blessed
	any one have a happy ending? (Preview) I am losing hope more and more of any chance of a happy ending with my alcoholic boyfriend. He Once Had 7 years sober and now relapsed 2 years ago. His anger, lies, verbal lashing and deceitfulness are getting worse every day. Does anyone have a story of their alcoholic getting better? Of trust bein...	KRae	7	691	Sep 6, 2014 by blessed
	I need advice please before I go nuts! :( :( please (Preview) My husband was in a recovery program for 3 months. We live outside of the states right now so here they offer work for those who have completed 3 months in the location. Anyway, my husband goes for 8 days and comes for 3 days home. 3 days ago he said he got in an argument with someone lost his temper and decid...	Yazzymedo86	19	775	Sep 6, 2014 by grateful2be
	hope (Preview) Hope was the topic at my meeting this week and it was the first thing I got in alanon, as soon as I heard people say the word alcoholism. Its funny I lived with it for almost 20 years and noone ever said the words. To hear them used openly gave me hope because it was the first move away from the denial that I knew...	el-cee	6	487	Sep 5, 2014 by hotrod
	Bf calls (Preview) Bf called me he sounded like he might be sick he just asked if I was ready to exchange our stuff but I'm no longer needing the things he got of mine and what I'm holding of his id planned on selling it to at least get some of my money back,I did ask him where he was staying at he said here and there.so I told him not...	lookingup	5	390	Sep 5, 2014 by hotrod
	General Question About Al-Anon (Preview) When I'm at an Al-Anon Adult Child meeting, am I allowed to mention smoking or over-eating as a symptom of my adult child issues? If you have an answer would you please back it up with literature if possible? I haven't done this, but in would like to know the truth so I don't break Traditions.	WorkingThroughIt	3	473	Sep 5, 2014 by hotrod
	Dilemmas (Preview) Being a single parent is a high-wire act, especially with a demanding job that requires a good deal of travel. Until recently I had relatives in town, but now after a crisis of their own, they have moved away, so I am lacking one more piece of back-up. A low-paying, high-travel job - not a good combinat...	Mattie	5	503	Sep 5, 2014 by PP
	ABf drinks in the am (Preview) Hello. Have not been here in a while. Going on ten years with ABF. Here is the new dilemma. He has a son that comes over other weekend to stay with us, he is 15. It is my house and my cabin and abf lives with me. Last weekend was the long holiday weekend. He picks up son, picks up me and we go to my lake home. My da...	JustJill	6	629	Sep 5, 2014 by pinkchip
	Long Week .. (Preview) Why are 3 day weekends so short and 4 day work weeks soooo long? LOL? I'm just exhausted at the moment and all of us have been battling some form of illness. I think we are all mostly on the mend. Tomorrow night I am the Alanon speaker for a birthday meeting and that is pretty exciting. I have a vague idea...	SerenityRUS	2	491	Sep 5, 2014 by Jerry F
	Hi, I'm new (Preview) I'm sure no matter how I try to keep this short, I'll still go on and on. I apologize and thank you for your patience. I've been married 12 years and have 3 amazing boys. My spouse denies an alcohol problem since he doesn't drink to the point of blacking out regularly. He does, however, hide his drink...	Cat lady	17	728	Sep 5, 2014 by Jerry F
	Perceptions of the past getting in the way... (Preview) Our couples counsellor is advising that I simply draw a line and that AH and I need to start afresh without looking back. I'm finding that line difficult to draw. She is encouraging us to be (gently) physically intimate but much as I enjoy the contact I also feel resentments rising in me because we are...	milkwood	11	524	Sep 4, 2014 by PP
	walls (Preview) Im beginning to notice some walls I have built up that I thought I had knocked down, maybe I did but some of them seem to be back. I have walls around me in most aspects of my life. In relationships, I can go so far but cant fully commit mentally, cant quite accept the full person, warts and all into my life. In...	el-cee	9	565	Sep 4, 2014 by NL14
	Tired of Recovery (Preview) Today I am just sick and tired of hearing repeatedly that I have to be patient, understanding, caring to my AH and his needs. He once again this week did not progress from his 4th step onto his 5th. He is now 4 months in at the house and is the only one that hasn't move forward. I have heard from him that is was b...	Flower49	16	688	Sep 4, 2014 by Aloha
	New on the board...not to Al-Anon (Preview) I religiously went to Al-Anon about 7-8 years ago and stopped going after a few years, not because I thought I was well or cured, but because I started a business with my qualifier. I no longer "had time" to attend meetings because our little business started to flourish and grow. I realiz...	midnightskies	13	411	Sep 4, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Am I just letting my imaginations run wild? (Preview) I haven't heard from bf in 4 days not a word ,he sure is staying low not that I want to see him but I do tend to over exaggerate and my imaginations can go hay wire a lot I may be crazy ,but I do kinda like to know what's up with him or where's he staying and working .mainly I wonder if he is ok.i got my bus. Done today...	lookingup	9	538	Sep 4, 2014 by PP
	Update (Preview) This has been a week of driving, driving and more driving. Thursday we drove from N. Virginia to S. Atlanta (9 hours). We hung out here a few days and then headed to Florida (5-6 hours). And we had perfecet weather and no traffic delays. Praise God. We did see a very bad accident (in the opposite lanes) whe...	blessed	8	554	Sep 4, 2014 by PP
	$500 + $500 = zero (Preview) Hi all, I've been away from the board for a couple of weeks while on vacation. And things have been pretty good. After a very rough July, my AH was much better in August, drinking very little, trying to take better care of himself, etc., and we really had no conflict. I've been taking better care of myself...	NL14	4	619	Sep 4, 2014 by NL14
	She drives him to drink... (Preview) Interesting discussion in class today. I'm so loving it; I love the people, I love where it is taking my career plans, I love what I am learning, I love feeling energetic, wanting to be up early, it's all so positive. As much as it was an unexpected career shift for me, I feel really good about where I am at a...	missmeliss	20	782	Sep 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	Today was not fun (Preview) Went to a meeting this morning. It was sad and depressing. This is my home group...but I have decided it no longer fits me. People do not have a lot of recovery and I find it sad and it brings me down. People come in really late and today 3 or 4 people left early. I found it annoying and disturbing. Plus theres...	Newlife girl	8	507	Sep 4, 2014 by Debilyn
	Any Info would be helpful dealing with what's next (Preview) It's only been a few days since we lost my bf's mom. Yesterday he phone one of his kids to see how they were doing and was told they and the other grandkids were going next week to clean out the grandmother's home. They said they wanted to help. It seems they got the ok to do this from bf's sibling. Meanwh...	tiredtonite	17	948	Sep 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	Made a divorce list (Preview) I made a list of why my dry ah and i are getting divorced. It is not pretty. I put it on my ipad so i can read it as often as i need to. I have been in a lot of emotional pain and crying often. My head has been spinning, someone on a divorce forum mentioned writing a list to reread when we needed a reality check of wh...	Mirandac	15	700	Sep 3, 2014 by Mirandac
	Is there a Higher Power? (Preview) For me, for certain...there is. Yesterday I almost killed Eugene. Not intentionally, just by that weird process of circumstances...lots of them. What happened? A manager of the hotel that I contract to asked me to do an "extra"...cutting back tree branches which were too close...	Jerry F	11	463	Sep 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	This train leads to CrazyTown (Preview) In some ways it's worse having an A who's a binge drinker. (Of course, there are no good ways for a drinking A to be, so all the ways are "worse.") But what I mean is that I get in a routine of expecting him to be sober, because it's been that way for X many months or years, and then I get more blinds...	Mattie	7	578	Sep 3, 2014 by bud
	Got new locks (Preview) I put new deadbolts on both my doors for safety,I've had to stay here day in day out cause bf took my extra house key and wouldn't give it back to me.so I'm now sitting here waiting for a person to come put my new ones on,what a week this has. been I'm feel drained everyday trying to keep everything together h...	lookingup	5	341	Sep 3, 2014 by hotrod
	Who to call? (Preview) I would t know who to call if he should showed up,that's a scary thought cause he will show up sooner or later.i don't know what to expect out of him.but I did get my dead bolts on my doors thank goodness that took a load off of me.feeling peaceful	lookingup	1	295	Sep 3, 2014 by hotrod
	Resentments (Preview) Tonight's topic was on how to let go of resentments which hit home for me, cause I so resent allowing my abf come back into my home only to make things worse and then kicking him out again that I resent I should've never let him back in my house i have a hatred toward him and i hurt also for all that I've allowed...	lookingup	4	361	Sep 3, 2014 by el-cee
	Mr. Thomas A`Kempis does it again. (Preview) Page of the day; ODAAT; September 3rd....247...."If you cannot make yourself what you would like to be, how can you expect to have another person exactly to your wishes? We want to see others perfect, yet our own faults go unattended. Done...can't say anything better to myself. Working i...	Jerry F	4	501	Sep 3, 2014 by el-cee
	The Crazy Relationship Dance (Preview) Feeling crazier than ever lately. Emotions are all over the place. I guess I am just a weak, fragile person. Last week AH and I were arguing about the house situation. I made a decision and he didn't like it. Then we were being civil. Then we went out to dinner with our daughter. The next thing I know...he w...	Newlife girl	13	610	Sep 3, 2014 by PP
	Accidentally Saw My Boyfriend's 4th Step...Don't know what to do 4th step dating a recovering addict/alcoholic (Preview) Hello, I am new to Al-Anon, but not new to recovery. I have been in AA for a little over a year and a half. I work a program, go to meetings, have a sponsor, work the steps, etc. I started dating a fellow AA member about 8 months ago. If I didn't qualify for Al-Anon before, then I definitely do now. We've alread...	lvngsobr	7	3702	Sep 3, 2014 by Mari1978
	hand my will and life over step 3 (Preview) Hi all, just been to a meeting topic was step three. wow I have been handing my will and life over ad really meaning it of late. I do not want to be insane doing things over and over that I know do not work I have learnt this the hard way. Peace is in Gods will I may not see it today but he can see round corners I rea...	Tracy	9	614	Sep 3, 2014 by 1911A1
	A funny, but not so funny story about my grandfather (Preview) He is actually my step-grandfather. He has started drinking a lot in the past 5 years according to my mom. She tells me about crazy stuff he does. He is 92 years old and just had his birthday. I am not as close to him as my cousin is. So my cousin lives 9 hrs away from us. She called my grandfather on his birthda...	Newlife girl	1	322	Sep 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	There's not a card for that (Preview) There's not an anniversary card that says "I'm only still with you as I can't trust you not to harm the kids on visitation". Was our anniversary today, surprised at my emotions - we haven't been more than co parents for months now and thought I had come to terms with it but found myself so overw...	Kerrymom	4	523	Sep 3, 2014 by el-cee
	trying to make better choices (Preview) Its been another week with the abf. He has been sober for 5 days now and decided he is going to go for a beer at the local pub but not get drunk. What insane lies. I decided I would not be near him while he is drinking. I came back to my apartment. On Saturday, I went camping without him as he did not want to be arou...	joker	5	526	Sep 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	Hi MIP family! (Preview) It has been a long while since I have posted here. I hope you are well and working your own recoveries. There are big changes underway on my end. My AH, who spent a year working out of state, returned home for good in early July, and has been working locally. His drinking and behavior is spiraling, and...	stephaniej	3	412	Sep 2, 2014 by Jerry F
	Not currently dealing with A (Preview) I posted last night a brief introduction about myself... As I'm reading other posts, I see that many people here are currently dealing with the A in their daily lives. That is not the case for me... So I was curious, who else out there is working the program but is not currently dealing with the A? Who is ex...	jessbuddy0014	2	374	Sep 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	my "happy face side" (Preview) I loved jillybean's post, so I thought I'd use it as a spring board. Well, I have begun working on step 4. I took a piece of paper and divided it in halves. On one side I put a smiley face and on the other side I put a frowny face. On my happy face side, I began listing all the characteristics that I like about m...	cloudyskies	2	367	Sep 2, 2014 by andromeda
	Put on a happy face (Preview) hi all, been busy but wanted to share this interesting story. so....I was in a really bad mood so I decided to go off and have my own little "poor me" party and sit and sulk by myself for awhile. Well I got bored with that pretty quick so I read the newspaper and it was an article about Ro...	jillybean1	6	461	Sep 2, 2014 by jessbuddy0014
	Al-anon on FB (Preview) I didn't know Al-anon was on Facebook... https://www.facebook.com/AlAnonFamilyGroupsWSO PS....Twitter https://twitter.com/AlAnon_WSO -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Sunday 31st of August 2014 04:03:37 PM	Cathyinaz	18	944	Sep 2, 2014 by Newlife girl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.