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Turned down his dinner invitation...feeling sad and confused
(Preview)
Today my husband asked if my daughter and I could come to the house and have dinner with him. He said he just wanted us all to be nice to each other and enjoy dinner and watch the dogs play. "normal" family stuff. And we weren't going to bring up anything controversial such as him not having a job...
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Newlife girl
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18
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768
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Reading other people's minds
(Preview)
Today, I spent some time in one of my favorite places in the City. A gal who I had been close to several years ago was in the same place. We'd had not so much a falling out but a parting of the ways when her behavior changed in ways towards me that I simply couldn't understand. We'd known each other for so lo...
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grateful2be
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9
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710
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Inventory
(Preview)
What's in inventory and how do I go about or take inventory of myself need examples plz.....and how do I go from feeling hatred toward my exbf to feelings of ?????.we argue I have nothing good to say to him.except lots of accusations .i know I'm responsible for me what I think,feel,want and need.and I re...
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lookingup
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7
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702
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My buttons have been well and truly pushed.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, There is one person who really manages to push my buttons and that is my mother. It was my Father who was an alcoholic but of course the whole family is affected by it and we live in Dysfunctionville. I have always felt pretty neglected by my parents. My dad is dead now and I always feel that I ha...
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singingnick377
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7
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733
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HP listening to MIP and doing some directing?
(Preview)
Yeppers...I daily wake up to the abbreviated 3rd step prayer (abbreviated because whenI use to do the long version my HP use to whisper "keep it simple Jerry F"). Knowing that I wake up in the presence of my Higher Power I ask "Place me where you want me...tell me what to do". Y...
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Jerry F
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5
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672
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Two faces of the disease
(Preview)
It's been over a year since I have posted on here. I managed to get the three Cs and many times would recite them to myself. I tried groups but just didn't seem to fit in, so I got by. Maybe I have been slowly deteriorating. Last week I came home to my A intoxicated. I lost it and just broke down crying. In h...
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hdftby100
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7
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647
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Ray Rice video got me thinking about domestic violence
(Preview)
The video is so disturbing. Made me sick. A comment someone made on Twitter really bothered me. They said "no woman has a right to hit a man either. She wasn't innocent." Something to that effect. At the beginning of the video it shows her barely pushing him on the shoulder. I am not saying it'...
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Newlife girl
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33
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899
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9/11 THURSDAY MORNING (9AM EST) TOPICS: PATIENCE, SECRETS, OPEN TOPIC
(Preview)
TOPICS: PATIENCE, SECRETS, OPEN TOPIC 9AM ESTThe website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which users will need to add t...
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Tampa
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0
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463
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Hgfgf IMPORTANT
(Preview)
Please contact me immediately or I will be forced to ban you. Please stop with the spell stuff. NOT appropriate here!
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Debilyn
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26
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2681
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I'm still here
(Preview)
Exbf is being really nice after we had a huge argument the nite before.i spent my day with some old friends I hadn't seen in years they were tickeld pink we all had a great time laughing and visiting and catching up on things of the past.LIFE CAN BE GOOD!!!!i love my friends and family.
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lookingup
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2
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413
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Not doing so well...
(Preview)
Its been two weeks since my husband left rehab. I was doing really well up until yesterday. I spent the whole day crying. I feel so incredibly weak. Even when he was an active addict, before going to rehab, he never used to behave in this type of matter. After going to rehab, and since he relapsed, it has g...
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Yazzymedo86
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6
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764
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worried about my brother.
(Preview)
Hi all, I am worried about my brother, he is an alcoholic and living alone in an apartment, he seems to be pretty paranoid and in the past he makes references towards killing himself, he has then told me he would never do this, but I am still concerned. I ended up on anti depressants myself as I felt very d...
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Jenny29
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3
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438
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Learning so much about my own tendencies, I'm ready to move to a deserted island!
(Preview)
So I'm learning to live life on life's current terms. Trying to let go and let God, and working to better understand myself and how I relate to others. As I become more aware, and as I consciously try to work through the thoughts and feelings and anxiety that are ME.... I realize that I have basically surr...
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Kay10
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5
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595
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desperate call out
(Preview)
I have questions. I need answers. Why is it that the more the addict does, the unspeakable awful things they do when they use, do we keep going back to them over and over? Is it because there is such a fear of being lonely or is it because they are so amazing when they are sober that we can just look past those...
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CarlyM123
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13
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689
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No Recovery Plan
(Preview)
Has anyone had a qualifier who has stayed sober after multiple treatments without a detailed recovery plan? I know, sounds naive.
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Jessmine
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5
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679
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Would just like to ask
(Preview)
prayers for my mom. I've had her in the ER twice this week. We go back to the doctor this afternoon. I did not realize how much an ER can wear a person down. I'm tired. Also, the baby in the picture is my granddaughter. She's three now. I hope everyone has a great day.
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cloudyskies
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13
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662
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He finally accepted it is over.
(Preview)
I told him many times but I made it crystal clear on the 30th August that marriage is over, there won't be any more 'last chances', I just CAN'T do this anymore. It is not that I don't even want to have another go, I just CAN'T. Even though I was convinced it was over, my head played tricks on me and I considere...
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Luiza
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15
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840
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WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST)
(Preview)
WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Unacceptable behavior; Denial; Self-care The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.o...
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shimo
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0
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305
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Made my 1st FTf alanon meeting
(Preview)
It went great,so happy I went wished I could remember what all we talked about but it's way too early this morning when I remember I'll sure share it.thanks for all the help,I did learn that I was sick and that by my acting out in craziness that that made 2 of us crazy under the same roof wouldn't be good.
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lookingup
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8
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498
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Resisting...and being Responsible
(Preview)
I fall and try getting back up. Getting up seems pretty hard, but that is why I'm here. Divorce is in process. Soon to be ex mom-in-law, although "well meaning" made a comment I did not feel like hearing today. It brought up my resentments and again, I do not want to hold any. It's not easy not...
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RoseODAT
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6
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630
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Been stuck but now I can't seem to find a reason NOT to get a divorce.
(Preview)
Married 15 years, Never treated me well. I can remember wanting to leave him regularly for about that long. I have been ignoring all of that as if I feel like I need to get what I invested in this "relationship". He is manipulative. I mean he IS manipulative, do I want to live with that. He IS sel...
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sadsusie
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6
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673
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Detachment = no talk?
(Preview)
I am still puzzled by the detachment. A lot of times i read that no matter what we say to an A he won't do anything untill he hits his bottom, etc.. I understand I need to my mind my own business, worry about my recovery and detach from him. But does it mean never discuss his drinking? I understand about not ta...
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Venera
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14
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874
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I need some support again :(
(Preview)
Hi All, I want to thank you for the response I received to my last post. I can not begin to explain how much it helped. Since my last post, my husband is acting worse. I keep telling him we need to sit down and talk. He keeps avoiding me. I cant stand it when he is using he becomes a different person. I know I s...
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Yazzymedo86
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10
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620
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Letting it begin with me
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, This is my first time on this website. I have done a meeting but not posted anything in the forum. I used to attend meetings in Amsterdam when I lived there. I have been experiencing a lot of muscle tension in my body for the last four years. It started with jaw tension and is not the best thing a...
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singingnick377
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12
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650
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I 10 Freeway
(Preview)
Some people have it bad..... WOW
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Cathyinaz
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11
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677
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do you really want change?
(Preview)
Confidence, self worth, self belief, self care, honesty, self respect. This is what I got by going to meetings and learning this program. Thats when everything changed. When youve got a bit of this then untreated alcoholism is just not good enough -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 8th of September 2014 0...
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el-cee
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11
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726
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Sharing first time
(Preview)
I've been dealing with my alcoholic/schizophrenic son for more than 15 yrs. he has been to rehabs, incarceration, homelessness,etc. He doesn't seem to have a bottom. The biggest problem that I have with him is that I'm his SS benefits payee. I pay for his room and food and the rest of the money he is usi...
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Alicea67
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5
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571
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At wits end
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I know I need to keep my focus on myself and I try to do that most times, but last night was a very stressful night. My AH went on a binge and did not come home. I have read my ODAT, prayed to HP and cried. Nothing is relieving my FEAR and pain. I have been calling him repeatedly since early this morning. No...
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Hullibee
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43
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1688
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Grapes
(Preview)
So, this morning I'm standing at the sink doing dishes and watching the birds enjoy their morning feast of grapes from my one huge Sigmund the Sea Monster vine and thinking - I like grapes, they're good grapes, but I don't eat many, they have seeds, but that isn't why I don't eat them, I just don't eat more...
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likemyheart
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7
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492
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surprised @ myself
(Preview)
Hi -My sponsor is away for a week and for the first time, in over a year of working together, I miss the daily contact, and it's only the first day! I feel a loss and I know when she gets back, we will continue as usual. During the past 10 yrs or so, I have rejected new people who wished to be friends with me. I...
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Lyne
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3
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401
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Out of town
(Preview)
Son invited me to come up and spend the night with him and cook out,enjoying it seems though like my greiveing is harder today I've been trying to keep him off my mind by washing my car,visiting getting out of town and of course come ing here to share I'm been catching myself blinking back my tears,I'm sai...
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lookingup
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9
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571
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Had a good sleep
(Preview)
Well, my Abf decided to drink last night, first on an empty stomach and then we ate dinner. He drank till 5:30 am this morning. I went to bed at 10 pm and told him not to bother me. He let me sleep and that was great. He sat up all night and watched TV and talked to himself. I had to laugh as I woke up a few times and h...
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joker
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1
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513
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My mess (Funny, yet true)
(Preview)
In my active drinking, I used to absolutely not care about living in filth and it even filtered down to my own hygiene. I always had my partners in relationships cleaning up my messes and getting on to me to help (which I rarely, if ever did). My current husband do not do this, partially because he just k...
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pinkchip
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18
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757
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Staying sober w/o a recovery plan.
(Preview)
I started a new topic because I can't post to an existing thread, for some reason. I'm married to an Alcoholic who hasn't had a drink in decades. He got off the stuff without rehab, detox, anything. We had a period when he was using Listerine by the quart (you don't have to drink it--it absorbs through t...
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Temple
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8
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685
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Sunday 9/7 10 A.M. EST SPIRITUAL STUDY - Story: FEELING BETTER WITHOUT KNOWING IT.
(Preview)
The Spiritual Meeting will start promptly at 10 A.M. EST Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room Sunday 9/7 10 A.M. EST - Story: FEELING BETTER WITHOUT KNOWING IT. The website link to the group meeting room ishttp://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html . There are other ways to join the room...
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Tampa
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0
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303
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Happy Saturday
(Preview)
Hi Everyone Just love all the new faces.....you are all so beautiful...Thank you for letting me in to see you all. I changed my pic...wow am I getting old and the bags under my eyes from working so much is getting to my face and body. Today I'm still sitting in bed and it's 10:30 and I don't care. I think...
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Cathyinaz
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8
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550
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Gonna be a long week-end!!
(Preview)
AH saves his drinking for the week-ends now, which means I have to stay out of his way otherwise it is just a series of nasty remarks and conversations taken out of context. I liken the situation to the Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde syndrome. I work all week long too, but I guess he feels that he works harder than...
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Debb
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10
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660
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the nurse
(Preview)
I thought this was really funny in a sad kind of way so thought I would share. A nurse had an alcoholic husband and she got herself to alanon, she got a bit of a support network and one member picked her up and gave her a lift to the meetings in her car. One particular night the member waited on the nurse in the...
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el-cee
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4
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374
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todays odaat
(Preview)
That odaat recently has been amazing, either that or ive become more open. This is the third time round that im reading the daily readings and its like I never read it before. Today spoke to me. It starts with a questiin, 'have I been trying to live the alanon program?' This got me thi king right away beca...
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el-cee
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4
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787
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Another reason why I love it here
(Preview)
At first I was confused and bewildered: ""Are people really using their real name on an internet forum? And to discuss such personal stories and experiences too? They use their real photo! It's crazy!"" No it isn't. This is a place of honesty and acceptance, love and true willi...
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Luiza
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17
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675
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Bf trying to get his foot back in the door
(Preview)
Bf way to get his foot in the door ,I've only got a jacket and statue that's. to worth much and he has no place to put them its hot outside he don't need his coat,he left a huge box of winter clothes that he didn't even mention.its his way if he can just get here to my house and it be ok with me then he figures he can...
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lookingup
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4
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509
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Ultimate crazy making day
(Preview)
At my wits end. He is 9 months into "Recovery". He's turned from a drunk to a passive agressive horror story. the lovely man I met 20 years ago and married 18 years ago is someone I don't know any more. If it hadn't been for the fact that I face losing my home (that I have worked my butt off for for a...
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Madecrazygirl
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5
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567
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We're planning on separating
(Preview)
AH and I sat down this AM to go over my 'letter' that I gave him where I explained what our reality is and I was as honest and gentle as I could be. He took that as a door to say that we need to separate because he said I'll never be able to trust him and that I'll never NOT fear him and/or his actions. I told him I k...
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andromeda
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24
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929
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grateful2be said this:
(Preview)
"Trouble is, we get crushed and they can often bounce right back up to start the madness all over again" If ever a sentence were true, it's this one. I lived with this nonsense for 13 years. Diva -- Edited by Diva on Saturday 6th of September 2014 11:17:40 AM
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Diva
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3
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389
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any one have a happy ending?
(Preview)
I am losing hope more and more of any chance of a happy ending with my alcoholic boyfriend.
He Once Had 7 years sober and now relapsed 2 years ago. His anger, lies, verbal lashing and deceitfulness are getting worse every day.
Does anyone have a story of their alcoholic getting better? Of trust bein...
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KRae
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7
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741
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I need advice please before I go nuts! :( :( please
(Preview)
My husband was in a recovery program for 3 months. We live outside of the states right now so here they offer work for those who have completed 3 months in the location. Anyway, my husband goes for 8 days and comes for 3 days home. 3 days ago he said he got in an argument with someone lost his temper and decid...
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Yazzymedo86
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19
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823
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hope
(Preview)
Hope was the topic at my meeting this week and it was the first thing I got in alanon, as soon as I heard people say the word alcoholism. Its funny I lived with it for almost 20 years and noone ever said the words. To hear them used openly gave me hope because it was the first move away from the denial that I knew...
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el-cee
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6
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535
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Bf calls
(Preview)
Bf called me he sounded like he might be sick he just asked if I was ready to exchange our stuff but I'm no longer needing the things he got of mine and what I'm holding of his id planned on selling it to at least get some of my money back,I did ask him where he was staying at he said here and there.so I told him not...
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lookingup
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5
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435
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General Question About Al-Anon
(Preview)
When I'm at an Al-Anon Adult Child meeting, am I allowed to mention smoking or over-eating as a symptom of my adult child issues? If you have an answer would you please back it up with literature if possible? I haven't done this, but in would like to know the truth so I don't break Traditions.
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WorkingThroughIt
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3
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523
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Dilemmas
(Preview)
Being a single parent is a high-wire act, especially with a demanding job that requires a good deal of travel. Until recently I had relatives in town, but now after a crisis of their own, they have moved away, so I am lacking one more piece of back-up. A low-paying, high-travel job - not a good combinat...
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Mattie
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5
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549
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ABf drinks in the am
(Preview)
Hello. Have not been here in a while. Going on ten years with ABF. Here is the new dilemma. He has a son that comes over other weekend to stay with us, he is 15. It is my house and my cabin and abf lives with me. Last weekend was the long holiday weekend. He picks up son, picks up me and we go to my lake home. My da...
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JustJill
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6
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684
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Long Week ..
(Preview)
Why are 3 day weekends so short and 4 day work weeks soooo long? LOL? I'm just exhausted at the moment and all of us have been battling some form of illness. I think we are all mostly on the mend. Tomorrow night I am the Alanon speaker for a birthday meeting and that is pretty exciting. I have a vague idea...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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540
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Hi, I'm new
(Preview)
I'm sure no matter how I try to keep this short, I'll still go on and on. I apologize and thank you for your patience. I've been married 12 years and have 3 amazing boys. My spouse denies an alcohol problem since he doesn't drink to the point of blacking out regularly. He does, however, hide his drink...
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Cat lady
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17
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794
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Perceptions of the past getting in the way...
(Preview)
Our couples counsellor is advising that I simply draw a line and that AH and I need to start afresh without looking back. I'm finding that line difficult to draw. She is encouraging us to be (gently) physically intimate but much as I enjoy the contact I also feel resentments rising in me because we are...
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milkwood
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11
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572
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walls
(Preview)
Im beginning to notice some walls I have built up that I thought I had knocked down, maybe I did but some of them seem to be back. I have walls around me in most aspects of my life. In relationships, I can go so far but cant fully commit mentally, cant quite accept the full person, warts and all into my life. In...
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el-cee
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9
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656
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Tired of Recovery
(Preview)
Today I am just sick and tired of hearing repeatedly that I have to be patient, understanding, caring to my AH and his needs. He once again this week did not progress from his 4th step onto his 5th. He is now 4 months in at the house and is the only one that hasn't move forward. I have heard from him that is was b...
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Flower49
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16
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739
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New on the board...not to Al-Anon
(Preview)
I religiously went to Al-Anon about 7-8 years ago and stopped going after a few years, not because I thought I was well or cured, but because I started a business with my qualifier. I no longer "had time" to attend meetings because our little business started to flourish and grow. I realiz...
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midnightskies
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13
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462
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Am I just letting my imaginations run wild?
(Preview)
I haven't heard from bf in 4 days not a word ,he sure is staying low not that I want to see him but I do tend to over exaggerate and my imaginations can go hay wire a lot I may be crazy ,but I do kinda like to know what's up with him or where's he staying and working .mainly I wonder if he is ok.i got my bus. Done today...
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lookingup
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9
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587
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Update
(Preview)
This has been a week of driving, driving and more driving. Thursday we drove from N. Virginia to S. Atlanta (9 hours). We hung out here a few days and then headed to Florida (5-6 hours). And we had perfecet weather and no traffic delays. Praise God. We did see a very bad accident (in the opposite lanes) whe...
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blessed
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8
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604
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$500 + $500 = zero
(Preview)
Hi all, I've been away from the board for a couple of weeks while on vacation. And things have been pretty good. After a very rough July, my AH was much better in August, drinking very little, trying to take better care of himself, etc., and we really had no conflict. I've been taking better care of myself...
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NL14
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4
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678
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