The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
And, I'm ok! My AH stopped going to meetings 2 weeks ago. I had a feeling that this would happen so I'm not surprised. Working on acceptance today and knowing that this is his choice and I can't control it. Honestly, I am truly ok and ready for whatever God has planned for me at this point.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Its part and parcel of the miracle of Al-Anon recovery that the member can stay whole and not follow the relapsing alcoholic into the chaos. If he relapses...HE relapses and you don't. I relapsed once with my alcoholic/addict and boy it was terrible for me entirely. I did it even though I knew it could and would happen if I detached from the program. It didn't take me long to return. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
I learned that by detaching myself from my loved one's star, I could twinkle on my own and let him be where he was without thinking there was anything I could or should be doing in relationship to him other than to keep myself active with my sponsor and the program work. Good for you, Andromeda. You are choosing to stand in your own light and out of his way.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 1st of September 2014 06:47:32 AM
I know he's very much a sneaky drinker...or tries to be...and that you guys don't talk about things much. Wondering if he even knows that you are aware he relapsed. Not that any of this is as important as your mindset and that you are working your program, which it sounds like you are doing great with...
Mark, I found out because our neighbor saw him buying booze and she texted me, "hey there, neighbor, haven't seen u around much but I saw your hubby at Walmart picking up some spirits. He looked ready to tie one on but I didn't catch him in time to say hello."
She knows nothing of our story. She was just being friendly. I am a little scared though, as I always am when he's home and binging. I always have this fear that he will wind up dead from drinking too much and mixing it with his prescription pills. I didn't sleep we'll at all last night even though I kept reciting the acceptance paragraphs from the Big Book mixed in with the serenity prayer and some just foe Today's, too!
Some days it really overwhelms me, even though I know it is out of my control.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
I'm sorry he relapsed and that you're beginning to stuggle with restless sleep and worry about what he is doing. Those reading you mentioned are great readings. I love Just for Today because it really allows me to put positive self focused actions in place to keep me sane if I'm obsessing about something. I'm glad you connected here for support. Especially at a time of crisis I try to get to f2f. The in person hugs and words of encouragement and hearing others stories really do help me to feel less alone. Wishing you serenity and a better night's sleep tonight. ((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Hugs you sound so good and positive. I understand the fear around the od'ing there is nothing except giving it to HP and letting it go. I find it's just not my journey. What Jerry said about not walking back into to chaos is huge! Hugs :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Does he know he could kill himself mixing drugs with Alcohol? I'm sure he does but at that moment because the addiction is more important for whatever is on his mind.
That's the way I think about my son. All I could do was pray for serenity for myself during the worse times and pray I will make it through. Just like you I will always be worried, it's just how am I going to handle it going forward.
I love my son dearly and will always be there if HE wants it....if not I will make sure I'm OK.
If the Alcoholic wants recovery he/she will find it.....
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Your response sounds like a real reward of working the program. You didn't have to snoop or spy or any of that. You knew what the chances of relapse were and you left it in the hands of your HP and the truth became clear. Of course it's sad when we find that they're still drinking (or drinking again), but you came to that knowledge without driving yourself crazy. Hoping for the best for you going forward, whatever that looks like.
Im sorry andromeda, you sound strong and im glad youve got a strong program. I know how you feel and im saying a wee prayer for you tonight. I love that your leeting go and letting god. This could be an important part in his plan for your h.x
You're okay whether he's sober or not. It's an amazing place to get to, isn't it? Although it does make you realize that when you've detached to that point there really isn't much of a marriage relationship left. Prayers for you as you continue to struggle with that dilemma.
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
