Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

missmeliss · missmeliss

When last I posted here, A had been staying over and making himself indispensable. I mean he was, for a couple of weeks, really, really nice. Nicer and more helpful to me than he has been. quite literally, EVER. And I was thinking well, hey, maybe? Of course it deteriorated, he started trying to enforce...

a4l · a4l

well I'm back and hopefully still welcome. I was aqua mom: I took a break for reasons all my own. I return to think on making amends. Many thoughts. My f2f group is a true balm, yet I found a connection here via writing and reading that I really connect with. And I miss everyone, Hotrod,my hero, Jerry,who s...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading is about beauty and how living with alcoholism can mean we have a negative self defeating attitude and dont see the beauty in ourselves. It talks about how changing our negative attitude into a positive makes us more beautiful human beings. Living with love and gratitude brings out ou...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

IM WORKING HARD AT ALANON,FACE TO FACE MEETING,READING,WORKING ON THE PATHS BOOK,GO ON OUR GROUP OFTEN. I WOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT EVEN WITH THE BEHAVIOR AH SHOWED, WE CAN WORK IT OUT. HE IS IN REHAB NOW MY SPONSER IS A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC AND HER HUSBAND IS A RECOVERING LCOHOLIC AND HER SON IS A RECOVE...

Jen61 · Jen61

I have had the hardest time with detaching. I would have these conversations in my mind every day, being irritable - all with a pit in my stomach. About a month or so ago my husband went to visit his brothers and I opted to stay home. I said a lot of prayers and then felt that warm feeling inside that he und...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

In the 4.5 years I have been with my AH I have never seen him take a drink. Not. Once. And we are talking an alcoholic who drinks listerine and rubbing alcohol when hes desperate. He's hardcore. This means I have chronic anxiety about whether or not he's drunk. A month ago, he crashed our car and blew a...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello everyone I hope you all are well and working on getting better. I'm on and off again this emotional ride still even though the alcholic is not currently in my life but the remains of the disease still lives on in me and in my house. My health is not well I been in the hospital off and on due to my stress le...

el-cee · el-cee

This has been day 5 of not having a voice. Ive got laryngitis, cant make a sound. I usually dont shut up so this is a weird experiemce. Its like my higher power has pulled my brakes and said stop. The chattering inside my head is never ending thougn. So, no work, no phonecalls, nothing. Feeling so sorry for...

Truth · Truth

Well after repeating to myself ... Over and over again ... "I am capable of making healthy decisions". I am starting to feel like my old self. My old self was a person who had boundaries, liked making healthy choices, and was not fearful of others responses to my choices. I am also learning...

hotrod · hotrod

I can so identify with today's reading in the Courage to Change. It speaks about expecting others to know what we need and want, without having to ask for it. It points out that no one is a mind reader and no one can tell what is in my mind, heart and soul unless I reveal it. Before program I always felt as if my...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

Hi Everyone, I'm Jenny and I'm new here - but have already felt so inspired and supported by your stories. Thank you. I've been at this recovery thing awhile. I'm married to an addict who has had a recent relapse after several years of being clean...however, I see now that he's what you might call a dry...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hello all = I always feel better when I get ES&H from you guys. I have been struggling all week, when I start the stinking thinking, I say the serenity prayer, go to a meeting and think of slogans. One that is coming to mind is "It's non of my business what others think of me" Friday night at a...

marsaray · marsaray

Six years ago I met a girl and fell in love with her, she was on many prescription pills but I didn't think it was a big deal. We lived together for 3 years and at the end she turned into a full on alcoholic/drug abuser. I left her at the end because she refused to get help and she blamed me for help addiction. We...

losingit · losingit

Thanks everyone for alanon -- Edited by losingit on Friday 6th of March 2015 10:18:57 AM

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT today suggests that just because we practice Al-Anon,it does not mean that life will always be completely joyful and happy. It points out that when we are strengthened by the Al-Anon philosophy, we find ourselves able to look at things in their proper perspective and that by starting...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

My husband who is active keeps harrasing me about my 'progress' He knows that I go to 'meetings' to help me 'be a better person and to help me deal with some childhood dysfunction that I grew up in but thats all Ive told him. Now he keeps asking me 'so what have u learned' and 'what exactly are the things ur tr...

TryingToMoveOn · TryingToMoveOn

My husband is an addict. To my knowledge, he has not been using for some time now. But things are just awful. His behavior is erratic and I feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop and then his incredible anger will come crashing down. He refuses or 'forgets' to...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi all not posted for a while. Been looking after myself & working my program. I've learned loads from alannon & on here & can't believe how much better I am! anyway, after 2 years of watching My AH suffer with the consequences of his drinking, hes finally made that step & gone to AA. Iv...

el-cee · el-cee

I think i may owe some mip folks an apology. I have come to realise that i dont always give esh away freely. It often comes with expectations that are unrealistic on my part, like, i know best kind of esh, so you better listen to me. Sometimes the suggestions i give have an underlying demand attached. I sti...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

Hi Everyone, I have to admit that I have been anonymously reading your conversations for a few months now and it has helped me feel more and more comfortable about jumping into this recovery program. I have read 'how al-anon works', Getting them Sober, and a few other books you all have recommended a...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

Hi Gang, Hope you all had a great weekend. Saturday something happened and I think I may be getting this whole detachment thing. We were going to play some board games and AH got frustrated with something I don't even remember what, and he yelled and called me his favorite B word. I just put my stuff...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The reason(I think) that I don't post much anymore is because I am no longer in a crisis. That should never be an excuse for me. I know that I have a lot to be of assistance to others. It isn't about me. I just hope in the future I am not apprehensive about being there for anyone. I used to feel like I had so much t...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

Hi everyone, My name is Alycia and I have been lurking on these boards for a couple of weeks now. I plan to attend one of the online meetings soon! 1 month ago my AH decided to drive our car while intoxicated. He is very sneaky with his drinking and me nor our friends had any idea he was drunk. He hit a parke...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C for today speaks about working the steps and being afraid of having our defects removed. Many of us feel that will be an empty shell if these defects are lifted. The reading points out that in no way nor in any step do we ever ask HP to add anything to us. We only request that our negative attitude...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah is 95 days sober and I realized that I know why I am having such a hard time. Mine was never physically abusive but definetly emotionally abusive and very manipulating. He is trying and I am trying since last weeks therapy appointment he hasn't been as negative and grumpy which has helped me so much...

chemistryiscool · chemistryiscool

Hi everyone, This is my first posting, after reading so many of the posts here over the last few months. I'm sure what I'm about to write will mirror so many of your experiences, but I feel the need to get it out there. I've been in an on/off relationship with my HFA boyfriend for 8 years. I'm not even sur...

Debb · Debb

Hi Everyone!! Was just thinking about the 10th and 11th steps ... seems I get stuck on these two every so often:Tenth Step Prayer I pray I am continue:To grow in understanding and effectiveness; To take daily spot-check inventories of myself;To correct mistakes when I make them;To take respon...

Truth · Truth

So today I need to work on my self-righteousness!!!!! I honestly can say that I don't have this trait often, however this last bout of e-mails has put me into this state and I am having a hard time letting go. My ex-A has this down to a tee...he will push my buttons until I cannot take it anymore and then I fin...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi Everyone, Yesterday, my wife and I went to town to run some errands and take care of a few things. The walk from where we had to park the car to our first stop was long and COLD. And, we were about an hour early, so we decided to go into a restaurant to warm up and use the restroom. I went to the restroom first...

Timjack · Timjack

Hi. I'm writing this home alone. My husband who was almost 2 years sober, drank today because our 28 year old son who has a heroin addiction could not be found. I truly, truly don't know what to do. My husband wanted to throw my son out, and I just cant do that! I'm his mom! Could someone give me some dir...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone-- There are three specific ideas that resonate with me from today's reading: One--RESPONSIBILITY. Some of it was growing up in such a big family, some of it was growing up with an alcoholic father and parents who divorced bitterly; I had a lot of responsibility as a young child...

Truth · Truth

Well I went through the emotions .... Got to my part and feel better!!! I am more aware of my limits and understand the importance of not reacting (if I react now it is a choice not a mistake because it is in my awareness). I am capable of making healthy decisions!!!!

mjferg · mjferg

I was reading about making decisions and one suggestion was to picture yourself as a wise older woman,what would she say to you?What would she want your life to be like?It is an interesting concept.I am pretty sure it would be pretty good advice.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The kids finally saw their dad today after not seeing him since 12/24. Saying it was awkward is probably putting it mildly. The kids picked a place that the staff is very familiar with me and my son so they watched out for them which I was extremely grateful for, and the kids had a good time. Their dad an...

Agape · Agape

Hi, I'm looking for some online support though, honestly, I'd like to be on (almost) any website other than this one...I'd much prefer to just stick my head in the sand and pretend this isn't happening. My husband's been in recovery for nine years and I went to family counselling then (a lot like Al Anon...

DavidG · DavidG

...I'll mind my own business and you can mind yours...? Sometimes group business is everyone's business. That is, if we are a group member.... I think that is the crux of the traditions... ...in our lives our power boundaries are all messed up. As a kid i took quite a lot adult responsibility, and the a...

Fairlee · Fairlee

hi! It's snowy and freezing cold down here in Texas! I do not do well in this weather :( I wonder if anyone else struggles with "am I making more out of this problem than there really is?" I sat, listening to a conversation my AH was having with his mother, talking about how "everyone&qu...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59735693/alanon-tradition3/

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the Courage to Change is a great reminder. It points out how reading the Al-Anon conference approved literature can aid our recovery. It indicates that by reading this literature, in between meetings, and when we feel lonely angry, or confused we are learning to replace long-...

lablover13 · lablover13

i can't get out of my own way. my AH & I just started to "date" after 6 months of separation. all was going pretty well until last night. we were out to dinner at a restaurant that we used go to a lot when he was drinking. i didn't know it was hard being there for him and he didn't tell me. when i o...

mjferg · mjferg

I was driving to class a couple of days ago and I thought I saw my ex! My heart started pounding and I started shaking.I thought I was going to have to pull over or return home.He was in the passenger side of the car and a woman was driving,We came up to the traffic light and I saw it wasn't him and I breathed a si...

Auntrosie · Auntrosie

...an inanimate object. Today I realized that I have been asking my AH for the same tiny "courtesies" for 7 years. With no positive results. Shame on me! Seven years ago he was drinking. I cut him some slack. I realized that he was not capable of doing anything I asked or needed of him. Today h...

GreenerGal · GreenerGal

It's so hard to be so in love with someone who is toxic and an addict. Are those even two separate things? The other morning I was reading my c2c and I found August 19th: "There was a piece of reality that I never wanted to see: I loved someone who couldn't be trusted." These words whispered...

Truth · Truth

I want to thank Hotrod and John for pointing out in another post that we are capable of making healthy decisions!!!! I needed to hear that message

I am extremely grateful for your message ... It truly humbled me

el-cee · el-cee

I think of this particular alanon forum as like the front line of this disease like an emergency room of a hospital. People come here panicked, in real fear and usually in a crisis. There are those of us who stay here and try to help in the best way we can, bearing in mind we are all affected and are all in reco...

GreenerGal · GreenerGal

Here's a question I haven't seen posed yet...is it enabling if you're helping your qualifier get to their AA meetings? Not offering to help, but if they are the one to ask? He's now out of the house but would like to come shower before going to his AA meeting in the morning. He's staying in his shop right...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading is a good one. The idea of humility can be confusing, some people think of it as being submissive and a 'slave to my situation and accept everything that comes, however humiliating.' It talks about humility as 'not being meek surrender to an ugly, destructive way of life.' Its about sur...

Helpangel · Helpangel

my ah is 90 days sober. I have been posting how difficult he has been and went to our therapist to let her know how bad it has been. She said it sounds like his meds are not working and asked me when was he goin to see the psychologist, I said I didn't know (found out from ah April 2nd). I told her things had to cha...

glad · glad

I recently overheard a story (gossip) about an alcoholic stealing something of about 10 thousand dollars value, from someone. It might be true, but it's already 2'nd hand by the time it gets to me and the person who told this story tells things like that all the time! anyway my point is prior to alano...

Smiley99 · Smiley99

Sadly, I've become accustomed to my AH sneaking beers at inappropriate times. When I find the poorly hidden cans, I usually just throw them away and don't say anything since it will inevitably lead to an argument. Sometimes I will ask him not to put the cans in certain places, like behind the bed or i...

HockeyMom25 · HockeyMom25

My husband lost his job today. He was drunk. At work. (He's been hiding it from me again, which is a whole different story.) I am beside myself. I don't know what to do. I don't know how we'll make ends meet now. I don't know how he'll get a new job. And I sure as heck don't know how I will deal with him at home....

Skorpi · Skorpi

Confused about what I think and what I want, and hoping that writing about it will help. I have been working on a thesis for several years now. I have picked it up during good times (and when my department started to fuss) and have dropped it even more. I have not worked on it because of things going on in...

Robert Breen · Robert Breen

New to this site, so I will really have tp get to know those of you who choose to converse with me on any given topic. Really connecting to people is important to me. I have 6 years of sobriety and long term experience working the 12 steps and going to AA meetings. I have a wonderful homegroup. I have bee...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So I'm seeing a lot of things differently in recent days and one of the big ones is My Daughter's Father. Daughter's Father was a drinking drugging specialist throughout high-school (we were friends) and throughout our later 8 year relationship and marriage. But he sobered up afterwards and someho...

Auriya · Auriya

Hi. I was googling "husband putting kids at risk" and I stumbled onto this group. Maybe someone here can give me some comfort, or ideas, or anything. My husband of 5 years is an alcoholic. My mom and dad are alcoholics, my first boyfriend, my best friend... all alcoholics. My husbands last...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I went to an Al-anon workshop this morning. (It was very good btw too short) I saw one of the people I plan to ask to be my sponsor there. I told her it had been a rough week but I've been working and that I had something i needed to talk to her about. Since she is the one who in our last very small meeting s...

tufntender · tufntender

HELLO, I am not sure how to handle my boyfriends alcoholism. We are both in our late 40's. Throughout my adulthood I have done my share of drinking, was a bartender and have been exposed to but not been in relationships with people who have a drinking problem. so I am kind of lost here . He and I met thro...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

well I'm not new to message boards but I'm new to this one. I am going to meetings locally but they are NOT resonating with me. I'm doing the readings but again they don't resonate. I've been to multiple groups and multiple meetings. I tend to leave the meetings ANGRY. how much time do I giv...

Belle7 · Belle7

My husband has an addiction to prescription meds. It began with benzodiazepines, which he was successfully weaned from, while missing six months of work. The dependency changed more recently to sleeping meds. He is a high functioning, high profile professional in our community, and no one in his w...

el-cee · el-cee

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Talk about wow! (Preview) When last I posted here, A had been staying over and making himself indispensable. I mean he was, for a couple of weeks, really, really nice. Nicer and more helpful to me than he has been. quite literally, EVER. And I was thinking well, hey, maybe? Of course it deteriorated, he started trying to enforce...	missmeliss	19	903	Mar 7, 2015 by Debb
	time to think (Preview) well I'm back and hopefully still welcome. I was aqua mom: I took a break for reasons all my own. I return to think on making amends. Many thoughts. My f2f group is a true balm, yet I found a connection here via writing and reading that I really connect with. And I miss everyone, Hotrod,my hero, Jerry,who s...	a4l	8	544	Mar 7, 2015 by Debb
	c2c 7th march-beauty (Preview) Todays reading is about beauty and how living with alcoholism can mean we have a negative self defeating attitude and dont see the beauty in ourselves. It talks about how changing our negative attitude into a positive makes us more beautiful human beings. Living with love and gratitude brings out ou...	el-cee	4	401	Mar 7, 2015 by Debb
	DONT ANY OF YOU STAY WITH YOUR LONG TIME HUSBAND? (Preview) IM WORKING HARD AT ALANON,FACE TO FACE MEETING,READING,WORKING ON THE PATHS BOOK,GO ON OUR GROUP OFTEN. I WOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT EVEN WITH THE BEHAVIOR AH SHOWED, WE CAN WORK IT OUT. HE IS IN REHAB NOW MY SPONSER IS A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC AND HER HUSBAND IS A RECOVERING LCOHOLIC AND HER SON IS A RECOVE...	YARNCRAZY	29	1195	Mar 7, 2015 by Beatrice
	Detaching (Preview) I have had the hardest time with detaching. I would have these conversations in my mind every day, being irritable - all with a pit in my stomach. About a month or so ago my husband went to visit his brothers and I opted to stay home. I said a lot of prayers and then felt that warm feeling inside that he und...	Jen61	4	558	Mar 7, 2015 by hotrod
	Tonight I am angry and struggling to detach. (Preview) In the 4.5 years I have been with my AH I have never seen him take a drink. Not. Once. And we are talking an alcoholic who drinks listerine and rubbing alcohol when hes desperate. He's hardcore. This means I have chronic anxiety about whether or not he's drunk. A month ago, he crashed our car and blew a...	Bloodshotbetty	5	728	Mar 7, 2015 by Mattie
	Hardship and health and support (Preview) Hello everyone I hope you all are well and working on getting better. I'm on and off again this emotional ride still even though the alcholic is not currently in my life but the remains of the disease still lives on in me and in my house. My health is not well I been in the hospital off and on due to my stress le...	Wisdom67	7	819	Mar 6, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	higher power telling me to be quiet?? (Preview) This has been day 5 of not having a voice. Ive got laryngitis, cant make a sound. I usually dont shut up so this is a weird experiemce. Its like my higher power has pulled my brakes and said stop. The chattering inside my head is never ending thougn. So, no work, no phonecalls, nothing. Feeling so sorry for...	el-cee	6	669	Mar 6, 2015 by hotrod
	Learning my Triggers and my Choices (Preview) Well after repeating to myself ... Over and over again ... "I am capable of making healthy decisions". I am starting to feel like my old self. My old self was a person who had boundaries, liked making healthy choices, and was not fearful of others responses to my choices. I am also learning...	Truth	5	534	Mar 6, 2015 by Truth
	C2C 3 6 (Preview) I can so identify with today's reading in the Courage to Change. It speaks about expecting others to know what we need and want, without having to ask for it. It points out that no one is a mind reader and no one can tell what is in my mind, heart and soul unless I reveal it. Before program I always felt as if my...	hotrod	3	410	Mar 6, 2015 by MeTwo2
	Help with an A who "J.A.D.E"s (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm Jenny and I'm new here - but have already felt so inspired and supported by your stories. Thank you. I've been at this recovery thing awhile. I'm married to an addict who has had a recent relapse after several years of being clean...however, I see now that he's what you might call a dry...	LedfootJenny	25	1696	Mar 6, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Working on detachment (Preview) Hello all = I always feel better when I get ES&H from you guys. I have been struggling all week, when I start the stinking thinking, I say the serenity prayer, go to a meeting and think of slogans. One that is coming to mind is "It's non of my business what others think of me" Friday night at a...	mercedes1959	19	795	Mar 6, 2015 by Truth
	Really need help and advice (Preview) Six years ago I met a girl and fell in love with her, she was on many prescription pills but I didn't think it was a big deal. We lived together for 3 years and at the end she turned into a full on alcoholic/drug abuser. I left her at the end because she refused to get help and she blamed me for help addiction. We...	marsaray	7	675	Mar 6, 2015 by Truth
	Thanks (Preview) Thanks everyone for alanon -- Edited by losingit on Friday 6th of March 2015 10:18:57 AM	losingit	4	1059	Mar 6, 2015 by Jerry F
	ODAT reading March 4th (Preview) The ODAT today suggests that just because we practice Al-Anon,it does not mean that life will always be completely joyful and happy. It points out that when we are strengthened by the Al-Anon philosophy, we find ourselves able to look at things in their proper perspective and that by starting...	hotrod	3	360	Mar 6, 2015 by hotrod
	My alcoholic keeps trying to take my inventory... (Preview) My husband who is active keeps harrasing me about my 'progress' He knows that I go to 'meetings' to help me 'be a better person and to help me deal with some childhood dysfunction that I grew up in but thats all Ive told him. Now he keeps asking me 'so what have u learned' and 'what exactly are the things ur tr...	Hopefull15	15	919	Mar 6, 2015 by Mirandac
	In a bad place, trying to get to a better one (Preview) My husband is an addict. To my knowledge, he has not been using for some time now. But things are just awful. His behavior is erratic and I feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop and then his incredible anger will come crashing down. He refuses or 'forgets' to...	TryingToMoveOn	10	484	Mar 6, 2015 by hotrod
	Gone to AA so why do I feel so sad? (Preview) Hi all not posted for a while. Been looking after myself & working my program. I've learned loads from alannon & on here & can't believe how much better I am! anyway, after 2 years of watching My AH suffer with the consequences of his drinking, hes finally made that step & gone to AA. Iv...	Tash2	10	689	Mar 6, 2015 by Jerry F
	an amends (Preview) I think i may owe some mip folks an apology. I have come to realise that i dont always give esh away freely. It often comes with expectations that are unrealistic on my part, like, i know best kind of esh, so you better listen to me. Sometimes the suggestions i give have an underlying demand attached. I sti...	el-cee	14	618	Mar 5, 2015 by LinSC
	I am new here and would like to thank you all. (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have to admit that I have been anonymously reading your conversations for a few months now and it has helped me feel more and more comfortable about jumping into this recovery program. I have read 'how al-anon works', Getting them Sober, and a few other books you all have recommended a...	CoopsMom	6	675	Mar 5, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Would you define this as Loving Detachment... or what? (Preview) Hi Gang, Hope you all had a great weekend. Saturday something happened and I think I may be getting this whole detachment thing. We were going to play some board games and AH got frustrated with something I don't even remember what, and he yelled and called me his favorite B word. I just put my stuff...	ladybugnessa	12	775	Mar 5, 2015 by Hopefull15
	don't post much anymore (Preview) The reason(I think) that I don't post much anymore is because I am no longer in a crisis. That should never be an excuse for me. I know that I have a lot to be of assistance to others. It isn't about me. I just hope in the future I am not apprehensive about being there for anyone. I used to feel like I had so much t...	Hoot Nanny	1	475	Mar 5, 2015 by hotrod
	New here! (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is Alycia and I have been lurking on these boards for a couple of weeks now. I plan to attend one of the online meetings soon! 1 month ago my AH decided to drive our car while intoxicated. He is very sneaky with his drinking and me nor our friends had any idea he was drunk. He hit a parke...	Bloodshotbetty	7	509	Mar 5, 2015 by Bloodshotbetty
	C2C reading for 2-3 (Preview) The C2C for today speaks about working the steps and being afraid of having our defects removed. Many of us feel that will be an empty shell if these defects are lifted. The reading points out that in no way nor in any step do we ever ask HP to add anything to us. We only request that our negative attitude...	hotrod	4	449	Mar 5, 2015 by karma13
	Why it is hard to stay (Preview) My ah is 95 days sober and I realized that I know why I am having such a hard time. Mine was never physically abusive but definetly emotionally abusive and very manipulating. He is trying and I am trying since last weeks therapy appointment he hasn't been as negative and grumpy which has helped me so much...	Helpangel	4	606	Mar 5, 2015 by maryjane
	HFA Boyfriend (Preview) Hi everyone, This is my first posting, after reading so many of the posts here over the last few months. I'm sure what I'm about to write will mirror so many of your experiences, but I feel the need to get it out there. I've been in an on/off relationship with my HFA boyfriend for 8 years. I'm not even sur...	chemistryiscool	8	625	Mar 5, 2015 by glad
	10th & 11th Steps (Preview) Hi Everyone!! Was just thinking about the 10th and 11th steps ... seems I get stuck on these two every so often:Tenth Step Prayer I pray I am continue:To grow in understanding and effectiveness; To take daily spot-check inventories of myself;To correct mistakes when I make them;To take respon...	Debb	5	486	Mar 5, 2015 by el-cee
	How to get rid of self-righteousness? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) So today I need to work on my self-righteousness!!!!! I honestly can say that I don't have this trait often, however this last bout of e-mails has put me into this state and I am having a hard time letting go. My ex-A has this down to a tee...he will push my buttons until I cannot take it anymore and then I fin...	Truth	40	1974	Mar 4, 2015 by Truth
	Dealing with a "relapse" (Preview) Hi Everyone, Yesterday, my wife and I went to town to run some errands and take care of a few things. The walk from where we had to park the car to our first stop was long and COLD. And, we were about an hour early, so we decided to go into a restaurant to warm up and use the restroom. I went to the restroom first...	Skorpi	11	965	Mar 4, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	I'm not new to this, but I'm new to this (Preview) Hi. I'm writing this home alone. My husband who was almost 2 years sober, drank today because our 28 year old son who has a heroin addiction could not be found. I truly, truly don't know what to do. My husband wanted to throw my son out, and I just cant do that! I'm his mom! Could someone give me some dir...	Timjack	7	887	Mar 4, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Hope For Today Mar 3 (Preview) Good Morning Everyone-- There are three specific ideas that resonate with me from today's reading: One--RESPONSIBILITY. Some of it was growing up in such a big family, some of it was growing up with an alcoholic father and parents who divorced bitterly; I had a lot of responsibility as a young child...	yanksfan51	8	637	Mar 4, 2015 by yanksfan51
	Feel Better Today (Preview) Well I went through the emotions .... Got to my part and feel better!!! I am more aware of my limits and understand the importance of not reacting (if I react now it is a choice not a mistake because it is in my awareness). I am capable of making healthy decisions!!!!	Truth	4	360	Mar 4, 2015 by Jerry F
	decision making (Preview) I was reading about making decisions and one suggestion was to picture yourself as a wise older woman,what would she say to you?What would she want your life to be like?It is an interesting concept.I am pretty sure it would be pretty good advice.	mjferg	1	423	Mar 3, 2015 by milkwood
	Weird Visitation (Preview) The kids finally saw their dad today after not seeing him since 12/24. Saying it was awkward is probably putting it mildly. The kids picked a place that the staff is very familiar with me and my son so they watched out for them which I was extremely grateful for, and the kids had a good time. Their dad an...	SerenityRUS	4	603	Mar 3, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Wish I wasn't here...again... (Preview) Hi, I'm looking for some online support though, honestly, I'd like to be on (almost) any website other than this one...I'd much prefer to just stick my head in the sand and pretend this isn't happening. My husband's been in recovery for nine years and I went to family counselling then (a lot like Al Anon...	Agape	3	548	Mar 3, 2015 by Jerry F
	Live, and let live... (Preview) ...I'll mind my own business and you can mind yours...? Sometimes group business is everyone's business. That is, if we are a group member.... I think that is the crux of the traditions... ...in our lives our power boundaries are all messed up. As a kid i took quite a lot adult responsibility, and the a...	DavidG	2	949	Mar 2, 2015 by Jerry F
	Do you second guess yourself? (Preview) hi! It's snowy and freezing cold down here in Texas! I do not do well in this weather :( I wonder if anyone else struggles with "am I making more out of this problem than there really is?" I sat, listening to a conversation my AH was having with his mother, talking about how "everyone&qu...	Fairlee	12	785	Mar 2, 2015 by Jerry F
	Tradition 3 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59735693/alanon-tradition3/	hotrod	0	613	Mar 2, 2015 by hotrod
	March 2 readings ODAT and C2C (Preview) Today's reading in the Courage to Change is a great reminder. It points out how reading the Al-Anon conference approved literature can aid our recovery. It indicates that by reading this literature, in between meetings, and when we feel lonely angry, or confused we are learning to replace long-...	hotrod	4	3497	Mar 2, 2015 by hotrod
	so depressed with the UPS & DOWNS of my dysfunctional marriage!! (Preview) i can't get out of my own way. my AH & I just started to "date" after 6 months of separation. all was going pretty well until last night. we were out to dinner at a restaurant that we used go to a lot when he was drinking. i didn't know it was hard being there for him and he didn't tell me. when i o...	lablover13	6	715	Mar 2, 2015 by lablover13
	emotional reactions! (Preview) I was driving to class a couple of days ago and I thought I saw my ex! My heart started pounding and I started shaking.I thought I was going to have to pull over or return home.He was in the passenger side of the car and a woman was driving,We came up to the traffic light and I saw it wasn't him and I breathed a si...	mjferg	10	719	Mar 2, 2015 by Hullibee
	I'm married to a brick wall... (Preview) ...an inanimate object. Today I realized that I have been asking my AH for the same tiny "courtesies" for 7 years. With no positive results. Shame on me! Seven years ago he was drinking. I cut him some slack. I realized that he was not capable of doing anything I asked or needed of him. Today h...	Auntrosie	5	795	Mar 2, 2015 by shelbybaby
	I did it! I asked him to move out! (Preview) It's so hard to be so in love with someone who is toxic and an addict. Are those even two separate things? The other morning I was reading my c2c and I found August 19th: "There was a piece of reality that I never wanted to see: I loved someone who couldn't be trusted." These words whispered...	GreenerGal	7	829	Mar 2, 2015 by shelbybaby
	Capable of Making Healthy Decisions (Preview) I want to thank Hotrod and John for pointing out in another post that we are capable of making healthy decisions!!!! I needed to hear that message I am extremely grateful for your message ... It truly humbled me	Truth	2	385	Mar 1, 2015 by hotrod
	the emergency department (Preview) I think of this particular alanon forum as like the front line of this disease like an emergency room of a hospital. People come here panicked, in real fear and usually in a crisis. There are those of us who stay here and try to help in the best way we can, bearing in mind we are all affected and are all in reco...	el-cee	13	694	Mar 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	Is it enabling? (Preview) Here's a question I haven't seen posed yet...is it enabling if you're helping your qualifier get to their AA meetings? Not offering to help, but if they are the one to ask? He's now out of the house but would like to come shower before going to his AA meeting in the morning. He's staying in his shop right...	GreenerGal	10	649	Mar 1, 2015 by shelbybaby
	March 1st ODAT - Humility (Preview) Todays reading is a good one. The idea of humility can be confusing, some people think of it as being submissive and a 'slave to my situation and accept everything that comes, however humiliating.' It talks about humility as 'not being meek surrender to an ugly, destructive way of life.' Its about sur...	el-cee	3	870	Mar 1, 2015 by karma13
	Therapist and 10 things I want in a relationship (Preview) my ah is 90 days sober. I have been posting how difficult he has been and went to our therapist to let her know how bad it has been. She said it sounds like his meds are not working and asked me when was he goin to see the psychologist, I said I didn't know (found out from ah April 2nd). I told her things had to cha...	Helpangel	13	575	Mar 1, 2015 by Mirandac
	It's not on my side of the street! (Preview) I recently overheard a story (gossip) about an alcoholic stealing something of about 10 thousand dollars value, from someone. It might be true, but it's already 2'nd hand by the time it gets to me and the person who told this story tells things like that all the time! anyway my point is prior to alano...	glad	1	499	Mar 1, 2015 by hotrod
	Alcoholic behavior or bad personality trait? (Preview) Sadly, I've become accustomed to my AH sneaking beers at inappropriate times. When I find the poorly hidden cans, I usually just throw them away and don't say anything since it will inevitably lead to an argument. Sometimes I will ask him not to put the cans in certain places, like behind the bed or i...	Smiley99	22	4663	Mar 1, 2015 by Robert Breen
	So angry I don't know what to do... (Preview) My husband lost his job today. He was drunk. At work. (He's been hiding it from me again, which is a whole different story.) I am beside myself. I don't know what to do. I don't know how we'll make ends meet now. I don't know how he'll get a new job. And I sure as heck don't know how I will deal with him at home....	HockeyMom25	15	844	Mar 1, 2015 by HockeyMom25
	Expectations (Preview) Confused about what I think and what I want, and hoping that writing about it will help. I have been working on a thesis for several years now. I have picked it up during good times (and when my department started to fuss) and have dropped it even more. I have not worked on it because of things going on in...	Skorpi	10	563	Mar 1, 2015 by hotrod
	Valid Criticism (closed) (Preview) New to this site, so I will really have tp get to know those of you who choose to converse with me on any given topic. Really connecting to people is important to me. I have 6 years of sobriety and long term experience working the 12 steps and going to AA meetings. I have a wonderful homegroup. I have bee...	Robert Breen	4	6744	Mar 1, 2015 by hotrod
	I'm preparing to make a stand. (Preview) So I'm seeing a lot of things differently in recent days and one of the big ones is My Daughter's Father. Daughter's Father was a drinking drugging specialist throughout high-school (we were friends) and throughout our later 8 year relationship and marriage. But he sobered up afterwards and someho...	missmeliss	5	747	Mar 1, 2015 by el-cee
	SHAKEN (Preview) Hi. I was googling "husband putting kids at risk" and I stumbled onto this group. Maybe someone here can give me some comfort, or ideas, or anything. My husband of 5 years is an alcoholic. My mom and dad are alcoholics, my first boyfriend, my best friend... all alcoholics. My husbands last...	Auriya	3	473	Mar 1, 2015 by Skorpi
	I ALMOST did it.... (Preview) I went to an Al-anon workshop this morning. (It was very good btw too short) I saw one of the people I plan to ask to be my sponsor there. I told her it had been a rough week but I've been working and that I had something i needed to talk to her about. Since she is the one who in our last very small meeting s...	ladybugnessa	5	441	Mar 1, 2015 by Skorpi
	at wits end (Preview) HELLO, I am not sure how to handle my boyfriends alcoholism. We are both in our late 40's. Throughout my adulthood I have done my share of drinking, was a bartender and have been exposed to but not been in relationships with people who have a drinking problem. so I am kind of lost here . He and I met thro...	tufntender	3	442	Feb 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Another Newbie... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) well I'm not new to message boards but I'm new to this one. I am going to meetings locally but they are NOT resonating with me. I'm doing the readings but again they don't resonate. I've been to multiple groups and multiple meetings. I tend to leave the meetings ANGRY. how much time do I giv...	ladybugnessa	61	1331	Feb 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Prescription Drug Addiction (Preview) My husband has an addiction to prescription meds. It began with benzodiazepines, which he was successfully weaned from, while missing six months of work. The dependency changed more recently to sleeping meds. He is a high functioning, high profile professional in our community, and no one in his w...	Belle7	5	1805	Feb 28, 2015 by Belle7
	i like this (Preview)	el-cee	2	357	Feb 28, 2015 by Fairlee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.