Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

babysteps · babysteps

AH is beginning day 2. This time he isn't going through heavy-duty withdrawal, which is nice. BUT...it drives me nuts that when he is drinking he can just drop all responsibility. I do everything (run business, clean house, pay bills, cook, take care of child, mow grass). Then when he is sober for a day...

Tammy · Tammy

Today is the 2nd anniversary of the death of my mother in law and the day my life really started going downhill. My husband found his mother dead that day and his drinking became out of control and has not improved since. I have left my husband more than once during the last two years only to return to pro...

Nette · Nette

I really don't know where to begin. Please bear with me...this is going to get long. I began noticing that my husband had a drinking problem about 2 or so years ago, after his first seizure (caused by withdrawl we now know). That was followed over the next year or so by 2 more withdrawl ind...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been going off and on to a f2f mtg in my area. it is a small town and there's only 1 and they meet once a week. There are always the same 5 adults and 1 teen there. Last meeting there were as many kids as adults and the entire meeting was run by one of the kids as an alateen meeting.&nbs...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanon friends, I haven't posted in awhile. No big drama with my AHsober. We have been separated a year physically; 2 years since he said he wanted out of the marriage. He fades further and further into the background by his choice. He promises to call but forgets. He makes plans to meet and then som...

Tamiele · Tamiele

My brother has been labelled by himself and others as an alcoholic. Maybe I am speaking from the position of not understanding the disease - but what it looks like to me is that he is just a very immature individual who can't say no to a party. He "dried out" 2 years ago at a centre for one mon...

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

Thank you for all the comments and input. Alcoholics are not the only ones who can fall off the wagon. We can too if we neglect to work the program like I have. One of the comments was about grief I might still be harboring for my husband. I am grieving but not so much for my husband. I lost my sister a coup...

serendipity · serendipity

i brought up the "say what you mean but don't say it mean" thing last night at my meeting. i am having a hard time with stating my boundries and consequently i am becoming full of resentment and the old anger and hurts are threatening to come spilling out. my ex has been spending all his time here with me and...

kicky · kicky

After my last post, I took in all the great responses and realized I was kidding myself if I could practice ignoring the ill-behavior of my A. I love the principals of alanon. I tried to work on myself and enjoy my life even if my A was still actively "alcoholish." But after this weekend of disrespectfuln...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but read here everyday, and get so much from other peoples words of wisdom, it helps to come here and know that I am not alone in this problem and be able to get a bit of insite to how others deal with their day to day lives with their A's. I&n...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Wow, this is going to be a rough road I believe. It reminds me of when my youngest son was starting to sleep in his own room by himself. He stalled, and cried, and screamed and it was absolutely heart wrenching. But, you know he wasn't in pain, he just didn't w...

jaja · jaja

Do you think it is not such a good thing to let the A know that you are in AL-ANON? I ask this because I am just getting back into meetings and at this time my A is not aware of that. While I know he'll drink no matter what if he's so compelled and my going to meetings doesn't matter to him any...

Barbara · Barbara

just finally had an aha moment - and if anyone can extend on this please do so We got a new boss a few years ago. I worked in my job for several years before she was hired. It seems like she plays favorites, is not very available, hardly ever in the office, spends hours shopping for supplies, etc. It...

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

I started Alanon in 1977 but haven't been active in the last few years. I was pretty active in the organization for about 20 years. My husband died about 7 years ago. He had been sober for about 22 years. Alanon literally saved my sanity. Here I am again faced with my son...

babysteps · babysteps

I just need to share. Yesterday when my AH got home from work (around 4 pm) he asked what I wanted for dinner, then offered to go to the store to get it. I said sure! He came home with a large bottle of wine, steak and salad. We ate dinner, watched TV, he talked to our daughter's soccer coach on the phone, q...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am trying really hard not to care what my A does. We are seperated and I still find myself thrying to influence him to do what I want him to do. Last night I went to a f2f meeting (the one in my town is horrible) and I asked if he wanted to go to aa (same place and time) he said he was tired, etc. so I s...

nycbt · nycbt

I am learning that while doing ur steps u could be working on more then one step. RIght now i am working on both 4th and 12 step. It is great to be helping someone else. You can get to know the person u are sponsoring. You watch them grow and u work on ur guidance. It takes patience to sponsor someone and know th...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Just a little update, I'm doing a little better.....getting thru it the best that I can...one of the toughest aspects of this insane disease is....realizing the truth...finally looking at the addict the way they are not the way I am want him to be...realizing that the disease won...

Maria123 · Maria123

On a weekend such as this, unseasonably warm for Taxachusetts and during the Fall Foliage, there is no doubt in my mind that a Higher Power (whom I choose to call God) exists and that His majesty and beauty is out there each and every day for me to enjoy. Amazing how He sits up there waiting patiently for me...

violet · violet

i wanted to take a minute and thank everyone who responded to my last post. i really need to be here right now. it was very helpful to be reminded (and i need it over and over again) to take care of myself. yes, i've been in therapy for 6 years. it helps immensely with the...

Becky1 · Becky1

This was a long, hard weekend. I have learned a lot though. Thanks for all your posts and prayers to my last post about me hitting the wall. I keep hearing these Alanon "helpful hints" from others, and am realizing more every day how much I need this program. My expectations of hav...

violet · violet

if i kept sticking my finger in a light socket and it hurt, i would stop. the relationship with my A feels like a light socket that i've been sticking my finger into over and over. ow. ow. ow. i don't want to stick my finger into it anymore. i...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Julia, it is funny you say "about time"... Since this has been going on in varying degrees for over 6 years, it almost seems like a mere instant since I became aware of this program and the life saving information it holds. I a...

debilyn · debilyn

Wow what a trip. What I do is love what bugs me. No pun intended here. Ants come in once in awhile. I learned some need water, some need juice... so I will put a dot of whatever out. They take it and go home. When I fought them, more came. I honestly don't see them much anymore. So this summer/fall it daw...

marmare · marmare

I just read my reading for the day in "The Language Of Letting Go" and I will examine what payoff I am getting from staying in this relationship. There is more to it than financial security. I just need to figure out what it is. It's a great reading today, there is a reason I am still her...

barisax · barisax

Well I'm back from my short vacation, but I had a rather interesting experience. My uncle who is also in AA took me to an AA meeting... I won't say where, but... shall we say, the location of this meeting was in the equivalent of an alligator-filled swamp of alcoholism and addiction. Last week I was posti...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello I've been working really hard for about a week or so to get my house ready to sell. My sister and my best friend have been helping me and I could not do it without them. I will be forever be grateful to them. I need them to keep me focussed and on task. I love my house and really didn't want to have to sell...

Leah · Leah

Hello, I have a question to ask please. As I have posted before, my Father is a very heavy daily drinker which causes much dismay and worry. It is however how he is and I don't see it changing, only worsening in time. My question is this. My Father lives pretty far from the neare...

Christy · Christy

Hi (((family))) It's been a whirlwind week!! Hubby came home from Alaska for his daughter's wedding last Sat. We spent the week getting suits for him and our son, getting fitted, buying winter clothes for hubby to take back etc. We had to buy new clothes because sober hubby is getting chubby..l...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So the A has been 'visiting' a lot lately and was at the house all day Saturday. I did what I had to do and then spent all day laying around on the couch or in bed and letting him cook, watch the kids, etc. I spent the next day cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. My problem with this is that I kno...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I have been trying to help someone get access to the board for a couple weeks now (I have emailed John, I know he has a lot going on right now) Anyway she can't get an account right now that is the problem. She emailed me today and with her permission I am posting her email so that she can get teh benef...

wilkin99 · wilkin99

Hello everyone, I am a member of alanon, and my spouse is in recovery. We both are involved in our programs, and it literally has saved us both. I have a question regarding 12 step recovery retreats. We have never attended any retreat until the last month. My spouse attended a 12 step retreat. Any...

purpleraven · purpleraven

my 2-yr-old daughter woke up by boyfriend this morning, looking for her blanket ... i sat up to see him holding her shoulders and saying directly to her face in a nasty tone of voice "you will be dead!" or something like that (i'm so freaked out at the moment i'm having problems remembering what's gone on...

kicky · kicky

My A has been on a binge for a month now. He has a couple of good days and then a couple of bad days. We have been seeing a counselor together who has set up guidelines for us (principles similar to alanon) but the realism is, nothing matters if he is using. We can agree to anything in the doc's office sober......

debilyn · debilyn

I was just thinking and feeling as I was writing to Jaja, about how much the A and my sickness are the same. When he first would leave or I would make him go, I could barely go a day without calling him. We did the back and forth stuff with out moving anything, did the back and forth and he would be gone a nig...

be4yourii · be4yourii

I've been on a long and bumpy road this last month. I though I had everything figured out but now I'm not so sure. I need help!! About a month ago, I left my boyfriend because I could not handle his alcoholism anymore. He would stay out late, miss work or go to work hung over, spend our rent money on alcoh...

gardengal · gardengal

We tend to find ourselves dwelling on the negative more than the positive. This is what this disease does to us. We tend to wallow and get stuck on the pity pot,,,,, when things are living, blooming, laughing,enjoying life all around us! I for one am guilty of that. Small things that surround us each day...

Becky1 · Becky1

My oldest Sis and her husband are here in Ohio visiting from Colorado, for the weekend. I had wanted so much for my whole family, my husband, my daughter, my sis and bro in law to go out to dinner. I screwed things up bad.

Sis and her hubby were here last night...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) My life feels like a whirl wind of weird occurrances these days. As I previously posted I have recently gone through some financial upheavals, the A changing jobs, and my condo association heaping assessments on us right now. My home life in my relationship the last...

kitty · kitty

Most people, don't understand depression, I've had it all of my life & can't control my lows. Last month, I chose to go to the bookstore & buy some books I was drawn to, different subjects; philosophical, meta-physical. I even bought one on Mandalas (all sorts of circulat & ancien...

lilms · lilms

To all of my fellow Canadians HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! I am Thankful ...for the taxes I pay because it means that I am employed ...for the mess to clean after today's dinner because it means I have been surrounded by those that I love ...for the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I...

jaja · jaja

.....or something. I posted this morning about how I felt about this whole situation with my A. I thought I was going to have a rotten day because instead of just letting myself flow through the day, I felt weighted down. But after I got it out of my system by posting here, I perked right up! I got myself dre...

debilyn · debilyn

Hi everyone, I read almost everyday and I cannot stay away. Learn so much from you all. For me, I am at the point I may go thru a whole day and not think of my AH. I look at his picture and don't feel a lot. He must be using a lot becuz I don't feel connected at all. When he used before, then would not use, I coul...

jaja · jaja

...this morning I find myself in an old, familiar emotional state of thinking only more so because I wake up to an empty home since my children and A are not here. I've never been alone like this before, like I'm wandering around aimlessly in a hollow house. Nev...

rainydayz · rainydayz

Hello all, Let me start off by saying that I really need to go to a f2f meeting, but there are none in my area! I am .. I can't even find the words to describe how I feel!! I am ANGRY!! FRUSTRATED!! There is no word powerful enough! I just want to know HOW... How does an A justify in their minds the pain and humi...

lam0204 · lam0204

You ever been so frustrated you don't know where to turn? Well that is why I am here to help get rid of some of that frustration. I will try to make my story short but bear with me.... I have been divorced for almost two years now. My ex is an alcoholic and sometimes I wonder whether it w...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) I have been kinda spinning around in a less than stellar mood, and you guys have really reminded me to perk up if I want to have a good weekend. I was so inspired by Hersh and her declaration of fun and enjoyment. I needed to hear that. It is as simple as a decissio...

hardyt · hardyt

I posted a few times a couple of years ago and then stopped because, I think, I just decided things were what they were and I might as well stop thinking they were ever going to be different. I gave up and was okay for a while. My husband is a pastor in addition to being an alcoholic. We have always hidden th...

jaja · jaja

Well, last night I got a call from my out-of-state son who had just called his Dad. He said that the possibility of him drinking again was on his mind so he was relieved to find that my A was not only "sober" but that he had gone to AA meetings. I told my...

greta · greta

Hi ((message board roomies))), I woke up this morning in a bad alanon place. That has been my MO. Waking has been my worst time of the day. When I first came to alanon, my challenge was to get myself out of bed and to a morning meeting to try and get myself out of the swirl of negative thoughts...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

((((((((Family))))))))))), First I want to say that the love and support is so appreciated here! You all are the best. I saw the doctor today and he ordered a mamogram for me, but when I called to set it up they said I was too young and they would only give me an ultrasound. UGH! Gotta love HMOs. So I hav...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

I am not even sure how you spell june bug, but it is cerntainly how I feel. Have you ever noticed how june bugs fly around blindly and bouce off of stuff. They fall down on the ground, get stuck on their backs for a while then somehow manage to get back up and off in to the air they go...

Barbara · Barbara

just came from doctors - have a skin rash all over - doc said its nummular eczema - can this be from stress?

Noni · Noni

My brother is an A. He is 18 years older than I - and is now 68 years old. However, his drinking and drug usage has destroyed his body that he has been "disabled" since 1987. His brain is completely fried. His body is all bent and broken from all the times he blacked out and broke or just laid on his body in a bad...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello ((((((((Friends)))))))), Just wanted to post an update.....haven't been around much lately...working alot and just being kinda sad....sad about the life I had, sad about the life I lived for so damn long...sad about the loss of the life I once had.... This is the hardest thing for me...

shadow1 · shadow1

Just wanted to wish all my Canadian family a happy Thanksgiving this weekend!!!! I was sitting here on my pity pot feeling sorry for myself, thinking I really don't have anything to be thankful for. Then the reminder of Thanksgiving struck me. I have a ton of thing...

violet · violet

hi everyone, i am still pretty new to this board. i've found it so helpful for the few weeks i've been reading it. i've still only been two one f2f meeting but plan on going to one again soon. sunday maybe. i am writing to ask for some suggestions. i am feeling...

david62 · david62

Hi (((((Family))))) Had to tell you about a dream I had last night.

In the dream I am at my maternal grandparents house and it is a holiday of some sort, cuz everyone is there. Everyone is sitting down to eat dinner. Well my mom comes over and says something to me (and I wont go into the details..lol...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A's mother decided a few weeks ago to give up being a widow (a role she was pretty firmly glued to) and marry some man she had met at a high school reunion. Keep in mind this was 51 years ago. She claims that they know each other having known each other 51 years ago. I have wisely, very...

lebe27 · lebe27

Friends, I was thinking alot about enabling tonight. I came to the realization that at least in my case enabling can be doing something for someone that they CAN'T do for themselves. By helping my A with his firewood business ie., splitting the wood, loading and unloading the t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Sobriety brings resentment (Preview) AH is beginning day 2. This time he isn't going through heavy-duty withdrawal, which is nice. BUT...it drives me nuts that when he is drinking he can just drop all responsibility. I do everything (run business, clean house, pay bills, cook, take care of child, mow grass). Then when he is sober for a day...	babysteps	5	527	Oct 11, 2006 by kingston
	UPDATE !! (Preview) Today is the 2nd anniversary of the death of my mother in law and the day my life really started going downhill. My husband found his mother dead that day and his drinking became out of control and has not improved since. I have left my husband more than once during the last two years only to return to pro...	Tammy	3	303	Oct 11, 2006 by JulieLynn
	New Here (Preview) I really don't know where to begin. Please bear with me...this is going to get long. I began noticing that my husband had a drinking problem about 2 or so years ago, after his first seizure (caused by withdrawl we now know). That was followed over the next year or so by 2 more withdrawl ind...	Nette	7	324	Oct 11, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Horrible f2f meeting ADVICE PLEASE! (Preview) I have been going off and on to a f2f mtg in my area. it is a small town and there's only 1 and they meet once a week. There are always the same 5 adults and 1 teen there. Last meeting there were as many kids as adults and the entire meeting was run by one of the kids as an alateen meeting.&nbs...	carolinagirl	10	556	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	I want to live not merely survive.... (Preview) Hi Alanon friends, I haven't posted in awhile. No big drama with my AHsober. We have been separated a year physically; 2 years since he said he wanted out of the marriage. He fades further and further into the background by his choice. He promises to call but forgets. He makes plans to meet and then som...	nmike	5	526	Oct 11, 2006 by drucilla06
	Frustrated with my brother (Preview) My brother has been labelled by himself and others as an alcoholic. Maybe I am speaking from the position of not understanding the disease - but what it looks like to me is that he is just a very immature individual who can't say no to a party. He "dried out" 2 years ago at a centre for one mon...	Tamiele	2	274	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	needing to be reminded (Preview) Thank you for all the comments and input. Alcoholics are not the only ones who can fall off the wagon. We can too if we neglect to work the program like I have. One of the comments was about grief I might still be harboring for my husband. I am grieving but not so much for my husband. I lost my sister a coup...	bluegrassgal	3	409	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	boundries (Preview) i brought up the "say what you mean but don't say it mean" thing last night at my meeting. i am having a hard time with stating my boundries and consequently i am becoming full of resentment and the old anger and hurts are threatening to come spilling out. my ex has been spending all his time here with me and...	serendipity	4	322	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Asked my A to leave...again. (Preview) After my last post, I took in all the great responses and realized I was kidding myself if I could practice ignoring the ill-behavior of my A. I love the principals of alanon. I tried to work on myself and enjoy my life even if my A was still actively "alcoholish." But after this weekend of disrespectfuln...	kicky	4	342	Oct 11, 2006 by annmarie
	Feeling guilty (Preview) Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but read here everyday, and get so much from other peoples words of wisdom, it helps to come here and know that I am not alone in this problem and be able to get a bit of insite to how others deal with their day to day lives with their A's. I&n...	acjmom	2	313	Oct 11, 2006 by rtexas
	How strong is the addiction (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Wow, this is going to be a rough road I believe. It reminds me of when my youngest son was starting to sleep in his own room by himself. He stalled, and cried, and screamed and it was absolutely heart wrenching. But, you know he wasn't in pain, he just didn't w...	rtexas	8	430	Oct 11, 2006 by twinmom2
	question: al anon and the A (Preview) Do you think it is not such a good thing to let the A know that you are in AL-ANON? I ask this because I am just getting back into meetings and at this time my A is not aware of that. While I know he'll drink no matter what if he's so compelled and my going to meetings doesn't matter to him any...	jaja	8	447	Oct 11, 2006 by Karilynn
	aha moment - ive been letting my boss make me nuts! (Preview) just finally had an aha moment - and if anyone can extend on this please do so We got a new boss a few years ago. I worked in my job for several years before she was hired. It seems like she plays favorites, is not very available, hardly ever in the office, spends hours shopping for supplies, etc. It...	Barbara	3	344	Oct 11, 2006 by isabela40
	A little history (Preview) I started Alanon in 1977 but haven't been active in the last few years. I was pretty active in the organization for about 20 years. My husband died about 7 years ago. He had been sober for about 22 years. Alanon literally saved my sanity. Here I am again faced with my son...	bluegrassgal	4	430	Oct 11, 2006 by isabela40
	My sick husband (Preview) I just need to share. Yesterday when my AH got home from work (around 4 pm) he asked what I wanted for dinner, then offered to go to the store to get it. I said sure! He came home with a large bottle of wine, steak and salad. We ate dinner, watched TV, he talked to our daughter's soccer coach on the phone, q...	babysteps	8	334	Oct 10, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Trying really hard to let go (Preview) I am trying really hard not to care what my A does. We are seperated and I still find myself thrying to influence him to do what I want him to do. Last night I went to a f2f meeting (the one in my town is horrible) and I asked if he wanted to go to aa (same place and time) he said he was tired, etc. so I s...	carolinagirl	4	275	Oct 10, 2006 by Tammy
	Learning (Preview) I am learning that while doing ur steps u could be working on more then one step. RIght now i am working on both 4th and 12 step. It is great to be helping someone else. You can get to know the person u are sponsoring. You watch them grow and u work on ur guidance. It takes patience to sponsor someone and know th...	nycbt	1	336	Oct 10, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Getting thru the dark days (Preview) Hello Friends, Just a little update, I'm doing a little better.....getting thru it the best that I can...one of the toughest aspects of this insane disease is....realizing the truth...finally looking at the addict the way they are not the way I am want him to be...realizing that the disease won...	Andrea12	7	432	Oct 10, 2006 by Karilynn
	God's Majesty (Preview) On a weekend such as this, unseasonably warm for Taxachusetts and during the Fall Foliage, there is no doubt in my mind that a Higher Power (whom I choose to call God) exists and that His majesty and beauty is out there each and every day for me to enjoy. Amazing how He sits up there waiting patiently for me...	Maria123	8	414	Oct 10, 2006 by bob6502
	thank you! (Preview) i wanted to take a minute and thank everyone who responded to my last post. i really need to be here right now. it was very helpful to be reminded (and i need it over and over again) to take care of myself. yes, i've been in therapy for 6 years. it helps immensely with the...	violet	1	284	Oct 10, 2006 by hersh
	Hurting Hand, Hurting Heart (Preview) This was a long, hard weekend. I have learned a lot though. Thanks for all your posts and prayers to my last post about me hitting the wall. I keep hearing these Alanon "helpful hints" from others, and am realizing more every day how much I need this program. My expectations of hav...	Becky1	11	409	Oct 10, 2006 by Becky1
	p.s. (Preview) if i kept sticking my finger in a light socket and it hurt, i would stop. the relationship with my A feels like a light socket that i've been sticking my finger into over and over. ow. ow. ow. i don't want to stick my finger into it anymore. i...	violet	7	299	Oct 10, 2006 by violet
	So moved by your thoughts and prayers (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Julia, it is funny you say "about time"... Since this has been going on in varying degrees for over 6 years, it almost seems like a mere instant since I became aware of this program and the life saving information it holds. I a...	rtexas	5	409	Oct 10, 2006 by greta
	Hersh (Preview) Wow what a trip. What I do is love what bugs me. No pun intended here. Ants come in once in awhile. I learned some need water, some need juice... so I will put a dot of whatever out. They take it and go home. When I fought them, more came. I honestly don't see them much anymore. So this summer/fall it daw...	debilyn	1	290	Oct 10, 2006 by hersh
	Today I will...... (Preview) I just read my reading for the day in "The Language Of Letting Go" and I will examine what payoff I am getting from staying in this relationship. There is more to it than financial security. I just need to figure out what it is. It's a great reading today, there is a reason I am still her...	marmare	2	287	Oct 10, 2006 by hersh
	A Most Wacky Experience (Preview) Well I'm back from my short vacation, but I had a rather interesting experience. My uncle who is also in AA took me to an AA meeting... I won't say where, but... shall we say, the location of this meeting was in the equivalent of an alligator-filled swamp of alcoholism and addiction. Last week I was posti...	barisax	4	342	Oct 10, 2006 by barisax
	moving forward... (Preview) Hello I've been working really hard for about a week or so to get my house ready to sell. My sister and my best friend have been helping me and I could not do it without them. I will be forever be grateful to them. I need them to keep me focussed and on task. I love my house and really didn't want to have to sell...	artygirl	7	398	Oct 10, 2006 by debilyn
	Buying my Father's Booze for Him (Preview) Hello, I have a question to ask please. As I have posted before, my Father is a very heavy daily drinker which causes much dismay and worry. It is however how he is and I don't see it changing, only worsening in time. My question is this. My Father lives pretty far from the neare...	Leah	7	512	Oct 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Whew!!! (Preview) Hi (((family))) It's been a whirlwind week!! Hubby came home from Alaska for his daughter's wedding last Sat. We spent the week getting suits for him and our son, getting fitted, buying winter clothes for hubby to take back etc. We had to buy new clothes because sober hubby is getting chubby..l...	Christy	12	371	Oct 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Being lazy and taking advantage (Preview) So the A has been 'visiting' a lot lately and was at the house all day Saturday. I did what I had to do and then spent all day laying around on the couch or in bed and letting him cook, watch the kids, etc. I spent the next day cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. My problem with this is that I kno...	carolinagirl	2	453	Oct 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Need words of Wisdom for a member of our family who can't post for herself! (Preview) Hi all, I have been trying to help someone get access to the board for a couple weeks now (I have emailed John, I know he has a lot going on right now) Anyway she can't get an account right now that is the problem. She emailed me today and with her permission I am posting her email so that she can get teh benef...	Dolphin123	4	363	Oct 10, 2006 by Rita G
	12 step retreat (Preview) Hello everyone, I am a member of alanon, and my spouse is in recovery. We both are involved in our programs, and it literally has saved us both. I have a question regarding 12 step recovery retreats. We have never attended any retreat until the last month. My spouse attended a 12 step retreat. Any...	wilkin99	5	774	Oct 10, 2006 by wilkin99
	"not responsible" even when not drunk? (Preview) my 2-yr-old daughter woke up by boyfriend this morning, looking for her blanket ... i sat up to see him holding her shoulders and saying directly to her face in a nasty tone of voice "you will be dead!" or something like that (i'm so freaked out at the moment i'm having problems remembering what's gone on...	purpleraven	16	978	Oct 9, 2006 by purpleraven
	I can't tolerate his disease anymore (Preview) My A has been on a binge for a month now. He has a couple of good days and then a couple of bad days. We have been seeing a counselor together who has set up guidelines for us (principles similar to alanon) but the realism is, nothing matters if he is using. We can agree to anything in the doc's office sober......	kicky	8	415	Oct 9, 2006 by jaja
	Play reversies to understand the pain (Preview) I was just thinking and feeling as I was writing to Jaja, about how much the A and my sickness are the same. When he first would leave or I would make him go, I could barely go a day without calling him. We did the back and forth stuff with out moving anything, did the back and forth and he would be gone a nig...	debilyn	6	536	Oct 9, 2006 by jaja
	hope i'm doing the right thing. advice please! (Preview) I've been on a long and bumpy road this last month. I though I had everything figured out but now I'm not so sure. I need help!! About a month ago, I left my boyfriend because I could not handle his alcoholism anymore. He would stay out late, miss work or go to work hung over, spend our rent money on alcoh...	be4yourii	8	529	Oct 9, 2006 by be4yourii
	Shadow got me thinking....can each one of you write at least 5 things you are grateful for? (Preview) We tend to find ourselves dwelling on the negative more than the positive. This is what this disease does to us. We tend to wallow and get stuck on the pity pot,,,,, when things are living, blooming, laughing,enjoying life all around us! I for one am guilty of that. Small things that surround us each day...	gardengal	14	492	Oct 9, 2006 by Becky1
	I Really Screwed Up, Punching the Wall (literally) (Preview) My oldest Sis and her husband are here in Ohio visiting from Colorado, for the weekend. I had wanted so much for my whole family, my husband, my daughter, my sis and bro in law to go out to dinner. I screwed things up bad. Sis and her hubby were here last night...	Becky1	11	533	Oct 9, 2006 by rtexas
	A marriage proposal? (Preview) (((MIP Family))) My life feels like a whirl wind of weird occurrances these days. As I previously posted I have recently gone through some financial upheavals, the A changing jobs, and my condo association heaping assessments on us right now. My home life in my relationship the last...	twinmom2	10	588	Oct 9, 2006 by TLC2
	Depression: A Monster (Preview) Most people, don't understand depression, I've had it all of my life & can't control my lows. Last month, I chose to go to the bookstore & buy some books I was drawn to, different subjects; philosophical, meta-physical. I even bought one on Mandalas (all sorts of circulat & ancien...	kitty	4	483	Oct 9, 2006 by Rita G
	I Am Thankful For (Preview) To all of my fellow Canadians HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! I am Thankful ...for the taxes I pay because it means that I am employed ...for the mess to clean after today's dinner because it means I have been surrounded by those that I love ...for the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I...	lilms	1	270	Oct 9, 2006 by hersh
	Just my luck! (Preview) .....or something. I posted this morning about how I felt about this whole situation with my A. I thought I was going to have a rotten day because instead of just letting myself flow through the day, I felt weighted down. But after I got it out of my system by posting here, I perked right up! I got myself dre...	jaja	4	455	Oct 9, 2006 by hersh
	sharing (Preview) Hi everyone, I read almost everyday and I cannot stay away. Learn so much from you all. For me, I am at the point I may go thru a whole day and not think of my AH. I look at his picture and don't feel a lot. He must be using a lot becuz I don't feel connected at all. When he used before, then would not use, I coul...	debilyn	4	425	Oct 9, 2006 by hersh
	I feel like I'm losing strength.Help. (Preview) ...this morning I find myself in an old, familiar emotional state of thinking only more so because I wake up to an empty home since my children and A are not here. I've never been alone like this before, like I'm wandering around aimlessly in a hollow house. Nev...	jaja	7	421	Oct 9, 2006 by Rita G
	Unbelievable! (Preview) Hello all, Let me start off by saying that I really need to go to a f2f meeting, but there are none in my area! I am .. I can't even find the words to describe how I feel!! I am ANGRY!! FRUSTRATED!! There is no word powerful enough! I just want to know HOW... How does an A justify in their minds the pain and humi...	rainydayz	4	329	Oct 9, 2006 by serendipity
	aaahhhh...frustration overcomes me! (Preview) You ever been so frustrated you don't know where to turn? Well that is why I am here to help get rid of some of that frustration. I will try to make my story short but bear with me.... I have been divorced for almost two years now. My ex is an alcoholic and sometimes I wonder whether it w...	lam0204	4	338	Oct 9, 2006 by Rita G
	Thanks to my ((((Family)))) (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I have been kinda spinning around in a less than stellar mood, and you guys have really reminded me to perk up if I want to have a good weekend. I was so inspired by Hersh and her declaration of fun and enjoyment. I needed to hear that. It is as simple as a decissio...	rtexas	5	367	Oct 9, 2006 by Rita G
	hello again (Preview) I posted a few times a couple of years ago and then stopped because, I think, I just decided things were what they were and I might as well stop thinking they were ever going to be different. I gave up and was okay for a while. My husband is a pastor in addition to being an alcoholic. We have always hidden th...	hardyt	6	298	Oct 8, 2006 by maresie2
	My,my..... (Preview) Well, last night I got a call from my out-of-state son who had just called his Dad. He said that the possibility of him drinking again was on his mind so he was relieved to find that my A was not only "sober" but that he had gone to AA meetings. I told my...	jaja	1	411	Oct 8, 2006 by nick12345
	Starting my day over with attitude! (Preview) Hi ((message board roomies))), I woke up this morning in a bad alanon place. That has been my MO. Waking has been my worst time of the day. When I first came to alanon, my challenge was to get myself out of bed and to a morning meeting to try and get myself out of the swirl of negative thoughts...	greta	5	633	Oct 8, 2006 by gardengal
	Saw the Doctor Today RE: Lump (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))))))), First I want to say that the love and support is so appreciated here! You all are the best. I saw the doctor today and he ordered a mamogram for me, but when I called to set it up they said I was too young and they would only give me an ultrasound. UGH! Gotta love HMOs. So I hav...	Dolphin123	13	701	Oct 8, 2006 by Tiger2006
	June-Bug Day for Me (Bumps!) (Preview) I am not even sure how you spell june bug, but it is cerntainly how I feel. Have you ever noticed how june bugs fly around blindly and bouce off of stuff. They fall down on the ground, get stuck on their backs for a while then somehow manage to get back up and off in to the air they go...	ZiggyDoodles	2	413	Oct 8, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	anyone ever get eczema from stress? (Preview) just came from doctors - have a skin rash all over - doc said its nummular eczema - can this be from stress?	Barbara	10	484	Oct 8, 2006 by kitty
	Feeling hurt/angry (Preview) My brother is an A. He is 18 years older than I - and is now 68 years old. However, his drinking and drug usage has destroyed his body that he has been "disabled" since 1987. His brain is completely fried. His body is all bent and broken from all the times he blacked out and broke or just laid on his body in a bad...	Noni	14	461	Oct 7, 2006 by Noni
	One second at a Time (Preview) Hello ((((((((Friends)))))))), Just wanted to post an update.....haven't been around much lately...working alot and just being kinda sad....sad about the life I had, sad about the life I lived for so damn long...sad about the loss of the life I once had.... This is the hardest thing for me...	Andrea12	9	428	Oct 7, 2006 by Noni
	HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO MY CANADIAN FAMILY (Preview) Just wanted to wish all my Canadian family a happy Thanksgiving this weekend!!!! I was sitting here on my pity pot feeling sorry for myself, thinking I really don't have anything to be thankful for. Then the reminder of Thanksgiving struck me. I have a ton of thing...	shadow1	6	390	Oct 7, 2006 by gardengal
	separation (Preview) hi everyone, i am still pretty new to this board. i've found it so helpful for the few weeks i've been reading it. i've still only been two one f2f meeting but plan on going to one again soon. sunday maybe. i am writing to ask for some suggestions. i am feeling...	violet	3	325	Oct 7, 2006 by maresie2
	Dreaming Al-anon!!! (Preview) Hi (((((Family))))) Had to tell you about a dream I had last night. In the dream I am at my maternal grandparents house and it is a holiday of some sort, cuz everyone is there. Everyone is sitting down to eat dinner. Well my mom comes over and says something to me (and I wont go into the details..lol...	david62	7	531	Oct 7, 2006 by maresie2
	the moher from helll (Preview) The A's mother decided a few weeks ago to give up being a widow (a role she was pretty firmly glued to) and marry some man she had met at a high school reunion. Keep in mind this was 51 years ago. She claims that they know each other having known each other 51 years ago. I have wisely, very...	maresie2	2	395	Oct 7, 2006 by maresie2
	Enabling (Preview) Friends, I was thinking alot about enabling tonight. I came to the realization that at least in my case enabling can be doing something for someone that they CAN'T do for themselves. By helping my A with his firewood business ie., splitting the wood, loading and unloading the t...	lebe27	3	400	Oct 7, 2006 by debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.