Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rtexas · rtexas

(((((((Everyone)))))))) You know.... I struggled so much after getting here about if to stay or go or what? I got some wonderful advise about giving it time and when it's right.... I will know. Well, needless to say we had a really bad weekend. I won't go into great detail, but she was...

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

My husband died of a brain tumor about 7 years ago. His emotions were out of control due to the tumor and meds he was on. A lot of the time he was unreasonable. I suffered a lot of panic attacks that seemed vaguely familiar. Once, in particular he was haranguing me about the venetian blinds. I started to pan...

rosedawn · rosedawn

Hi im Dawn, Ive been coming here for 3 yrs now,without this room i dont know how i would handle this situation.Well anyways my sister had a stroke,alot of brain damage and cant walk or move arm etc......But the warning signs were there her pressure was high she had light flashes in her eyes.I offered h...

Phil · Phil

Letting Go: The Journey for your Life - Letting Go By Barry Elwin-Jones WHAT IS LETTING GO? Letting go can be the most terrifying experience we can have. Letting go means having no support mechanism for our egos. Put simply, when we let go, we trust that everything is going to work out in our best i...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Hi ((((((friends)))))) I had another bad day Tuesday.Cried all day.But it seems every time I have one of those days I take a step forward after it.I seem to learn from it.This time my eyes have been opened.I think I have found that elusive compassion Alanon tells us to have for alcoholics. Now,kee...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) I heard a song on the radio this morning on the way to work. I had been ... uh... rocking my therapy I guess. The others on the road hopefully thought I was on my hands free cell phone. LOL Just before I hit the parking lot a song by Blue October came on. I have heard this song hundreds o...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, The thing that always gets me on this board is that so often, others are feeling so similar to me. It is always so comforting to be reminded that I am not alone. Life has been calm lately.(as calm as life with 7 children can be) The kids and I go about our daily lives. My front door is all bu...

lilms · lilms

Hi all, A quick note to remind all of us how important anonymity is to the success of this program. I was at the mall yesterday shopping with my wife. We ran into a mutual acquaintance and stopped to say hi. She is from my f2f group and never let on that I had ever been there bless her. The...

krusland · krusland

Hi everyone. I'm new to these boards. I was just married a month ago, and my new AH went into detox and rehab a week ago. I thought everything was going great. I mean, he had some slips in the past, but swore to me he was doing really well, which I believed. I never really thought it was this serious. I am s...

annmarie · annmarie

Can an A be an affectionate person? I have been doing a lot of thinking. Lack of simple affection is a real issue for me. It causes a lot of problems for me. Maybe I'm too defensive and self protective to allow affection. AM

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

What was said about Alanon being an A's worst nightmare is true. My husband and I were both asked to speak at an Alanon meeting I didn't attend regularly. When his turn came, he said "Ladies and Gentlemen", you will never no how you are screwing up someone's enjoyment of drinkng by coming to these meetin...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just curious. I remember when hubby got out of rehab and they stressed 90 meetings in 90 days. (He being the classic over achiever did 90 meetings in 90 minutes lol! still relapsed) My local alanon group never talks about things like that. How many meetings you...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Where would I be without my AW. Probably in rehab myself or dead. ..... why would I say that. My Father was an active A most of my life. He didn't find sobriety until the fine state of Texas gave him a choice. Go to rehab or go to jail. It was his first...

Tammy · Tammy

Well, yesterday was a very difficult day for my husband it was the 2nd anniversary of his mothers death. As you know he is living in a camper after I kicked him out nearly 4 weeks ago. Last night he went to his fathers and then the grave site and said he would call me later. I said okay and went on .. I too...

rainydayz · rainydayz

Last night I talked to my A for the fist time in almost 2 weeks. He is still using/drinking and is so far in his addiction that its frightening. I am 4000 miles away from our home.. and him and I feel helpless. He told me he loves me and wants to come here to be with me and get help. He says he needs to go but will ca...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just wondering if someone is verbally abusive to you drunk or not, why must we "not say it mean"? Don't you think that sometimes a cold hard word is effective at making someone stop to think? I don't mean just to be hurtful but to say what is true whether it hurts or not. IE I don'...

CoffeeBean3 · CoffeeBean3

I cannot get very detailed right now as my time is in short supply at the moment, but I am in some seriously desperate need of ESH. My A has decided to attempt getting sober. I don't know what precipitated this epiphany and I won't question it. So far he's made two AA meetings...

jaja · jaja

Well, I did go ahead and tell my A that I was going to put myself in Al-Anon again. I figured it was safe to call him since he had been over the other day to fix something in the house and we were nice to each other. So I told him about the bill collectors who keep...

kicky · kicky

Sunday,after a month long rollercoaster binge of alcohol and drugs, I asked my A to make a choice...enter rehab (again) or move out of my house and life. So of course the routine went...anger, denial, and today...quiet submissiveness. He called at work to pretend like I was just "over reacting" and I...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I hope you will help me to see this situation more clearly. I feel I am just going round in circles at the moment. My bf has not been drinking for a few weeks now and we are getting on well. He is not on a programme though, and has no intention of staying sober. We have had some good times recen...

hersh · hersh

(((Everyone))) Happy Tuesday! I just thought of something so weird today. I am getting so much stronger. It was an up and down weekend, sounds like everyone here had one too. BUT, I was thinking today how much stronger I am than before, and how much I obsessed with AH's eve...

Becky1 · Becky1

I am tired. So tired of dealing. With him, with myself, with my job, everything. I just want to sleep. My house is a mess. We have no clean clothes. The fridge is a mess. Dishes in the sink. Dishes in the drainer. I just come home, try to cope, go to work, come home...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) My A has taken to making comments od "When I am right ... I Will date you again" I will have another house" be happy" Usually i can hear these things and just let them go. The I will date you again comment really got me thinking though. In the last year or so I have been told I w...

lilms · lilms

Okay, So yesterday I posted and it was all sweet and light. I truly believe that stuff, really I do but right at the moment I just wanna run far far away. I am tired of never knowing when my home is going to be invaded. The A is here, has been using, has made a mess and because she is not my chil...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Today I been saying the S prayer quite a bit. Especially "... the courage to change the things I can". I am so tired. I had to remind myself today that I was having suicidal daydreams, like subconcious plans when I found this program. I have to keep remindin...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Last night, my AW who is caught in a tough spot of making a decission if she is to go to rehab or go out on her own. The throws of that turned into a horrible scene last night that got loud and physical. Unfortunately (but not supprising) our 11 yr old son walked in...

babysteps · babysteps

AH is beginning day 2. This time he isn't going through heavy-duty withdrawal, which is nice. BUT...it drives me nuts that when he is drinking he can just drop all responsibility. I do everything (run business, clean house, pay bills, cook, take care of child, mow grass). Then when he is sober for a day...

Tammy · Tammy

Today is the 2nd anniversary of the death of my mother in law and the day my life really started going downhill. My husband found his mother dead that day and his drinking became out of control and has not improved since. I have left my husband more than once during the last two years only to return to pro...

Nette · Nette

I really don't know where to begin. Please bear with me...this is going to get long. I began noticing that my husband had a drinking problem about 2 or so years ago, after his first seizure (caused by withdrawl we now know). That was followed over the next year or so by 2 more withdrawl ind...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been going off and on to a f2f mtg in my area. it is a small town and there's only 1 and they meet once a week. There are always the same 5 adults and 1 teen there. Last meeting there were as many kids as adults and the entire meeting was run by one of the kids as an alateen meeting.&nbs...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanon friends, I haven't posted in awhile. No big drama with my AHsober. We have been separated a year physically; 2 years since he said he wanted out of the marriage. He fades further and further into the background by his choice. He promises to call but forgets. He makes plans to meet and then som...

Tamiele · Tamiele

My brother has been labelled by himself and others as an alcoholic. Maybe I am speaking from the position of not understanding the disease - but what it looks like to me is that he is just a very immature individual who can't say no to a party. He "dried out" 2 years ago at a centre for one mon...

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

Thank you for all the comments and input. Alcoholics are not the only ones who can fall off the wagon. We can too if we neglect to work the program like I have. One of the comments was about grief I might still be harboring for my husband. I am grieving but not so much for my husband. I lost my sister a coup...

serendipity · serendipity

i brought up the "say what you mean but don't say it mean" thing last night at my meeting. i am having a hard time with stating my boundries and consequently i am becoming full of resentment and the old anger and hurts are threatening to come spilling out. my ex has been spending all his time here with me and...

kicky · kicky

After my last post, I took in all the great responses and realized I was kidding myself if I could practice ignoring the ill-behavior of my A. I love the principals of alanon. I tried to work on myself and enjoy my life even if my A was still actively "alcoholish." But after this weekend of disrespectfuln...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but read here everyday, and get so much from other peoples words of wisdom, it helps to come here and know that I am not alone in this problem and be able to get a bit of insite to how others deal with their day to day lives with their A's. I&n...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Wow, this is going to be a rough road I believe. It reminds me of when my youngest son was starting to sleep in his own room by himself. He stalled, and cried, and screamed and it was absolutely heart wrenching. But, you know he wasn't in pain, he just didn't w...

jaja · jaja

Do you think it is not such a good thing to let the A know that you are in AL-ANON? I ask this because I am just getting back into meetings and at this time my A is not aware of that. While I know he'll drink no matter what if he's so compelled and my going to meetings doesn't matter to him any...

Barbara · Barbara

just finally had an aha moment - and if anyone can extend on this please do so We got a new boss a few years ago. I worked in my job for several years before she was hired. It seems like she plays favorites, is not very available, hardly ever in the office, spends hours shopping for supplies, etc. It...

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

I started Alanon in 1977 but haven't been active in the last few years. I was pretty active in the organization for about 20 years. My husband died about 7 years ago. He had been sober for about 22 years. Alanon literally saved my sanity. Here I am again faced with my son...

babysteps · babysteps

I just need to share. Yesterday when my AH got home from work (around 4 pm) he asked what I wanted for dinner, then offered to go to the store to get it. I said sure! He came home with a large bottle of wine, steak and salad. We ate dinner, watched TV, he talked to our daughter's soccer coach on the phone, q...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am trying really hard not to care what my A does. We are seperated and I still find myself thrying to influence him to do what I want him to do. Last night I went to a f2f meeting (the one in my town is horrible) and I asked if he wanted to go to aa (same place and time) he said he was tired, etc. so I s...

nycbt · nycbt

I am learning that while doing ur steps u could be working on more then one step. RIght now i am working on both 4th and 12 step. It is great to be helping someone else. You can get to know the person u are sponsoring. You watch them grow and u work on ur guidance. It takes patience to sponsor someone and know th...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Just a little update, I'm doing a little better.....getting thru it the best that I can...one of the toughest aspects of this insane disease is....realizing the truth...finally looking at the addict the way they are not the way I am want him to be...realizing that the disease won...

Maria123 · Maria123

On a weekend such as this, unseasonably warm for Taxachusetts and during the Fall Foliage, there is no doubt in my mind that a Higher Power (whom I choose to call God) exists and that His majesty and beauty is out there each and every day for me to enjoy. Amazing how He sits up there waiting patiently for me...

violet · violet

i wanted to take a minute and thank everyone who responded to my last post. i really need to be here right now. it was very helpful to be reminded (and i need it over and over again) to take care of myself. yes, i've been in therapy for 6 years. it helps immensely with the...

Becky1 · Becky1

This was a long, hard weekend. I have learned a lot though. Thanks for all your posts and prayers to my last post about me hitting the wall. I keep hearing these Alanon "helpful hints" from others, and am realizing more every day how much I need this program. My expectations of hav...

violet · violet

if i kept sticking my finger in a light socket and it hurt, i would stop. the relationship with my A feels like a light socket that i've been sticking my finger into over and over. ow. ow. ow. i don't want to stick my finger into it anymore. i...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Julia, it is funny you say "about time"... Since this has been going on in varying degrees for over 6 years, it almost seems like a mere instant since I became aware of this program and the life saving information it holds. I a...

debilyn · debilyn

Wow what a trip. What I do is love what bugs me. No pun intended here. Ants come in once in awhile. I learned some need water, some need juice... so I will put a dot of whatever out. They take it and go home. When I fought them, more came. I honestly don't see them much anymore. So this summer/fall it daw...

marmare · marmare

I just read my reading for the day in "The Language Of Letting Go" and I will examine what payoff I am getting from staying in this relationship. There is more to it than financial security. I just need to figure out what it is. It's a great reading today, there is a reason I am still her...

barisax · barisax

Well I'm back from my short vacation, but I had a rather interesting experience. My uncle who is also in AA took me to an AA meeting... I won't say where, but... shall we say, the location of this meeting was in the equivalent of an alligator-filled swamp of alcoholism and addiction. Last week I was posti...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello I've been working really hard for about a week or so to get my house ready to sell. My sister and my best friend have been helping me and I could not do it without them. I will be forever be grateful to them. I need them to keep me focussed and on task. I love my house and really didn't want to have to sell...

Leah · Leah

Hello, I have a question to ask please. As I have posted before, my Father is a very heavy daily drinker which causes much dismay and worry. It is however how he is and I don't see it changing, only worsening in time. My question is this. My Father lives pretty far from the neare...

Christy · Christy

Hi (((family))) It's been a whirlwind week!! Hubby came home from Alaska for his daughter's wedding last Sat. We spent the week getting suits for him and our son, getting fitted, buying winter clothes for hubby to take back etc. We had to buy new clothes because sober hubby is getting chubby..l...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So the A has been 'visiting' a lot lately and was at the house all day Saturday. I did what I had to do and then spent all day laying around on the couch or in bed and letting him cook, watch the kids, etc. I spent the next day cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. My problem with this is that I kno...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I have been trying to help someone get access to the board for a couple weeks now (I have emailed John, I know he has a lot going on right now) Anyway she can't get an account right now that is the problem. She emailed me today and with her permission I am posting her email so that she can get teh benef...

wilkin99 · wilkin99

Hello everyone, I am a member of alanon, and my spouse is in recovery. We both are involved in our programs, and it literally has saved us both. I have a question regarding 12 step recovery retreats. We have never attended any retreat until the last month. My spouse attended a 12 step retreat. Any...

purpleraven · purpleraven

my 2-yr-old daughter woke up by boyfriend this morning, looking for her blanket ... i sat up to see him holding her shoulders and saying directly to her face in a nasty tone of voice "you will be dead!" or something like that (i'm so freaked out at the moment i'm having problems remembering what's gone on...

kicky · kicky

My A has been on a binge for a month now. He has a couple of good days and then a couple of bad days. We have been seeing a counselor together who has set up guidelines for us (principles similar to alanon) but the realism is, nothing matters if he is using. We can agree to anything in the doc's office sober......

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My bottom... (Preview) (((((((Everyone)))))))) You know.... I struggled so much after getting here about if to stay or go or what? I got some wonderful advise about giving it time and when it's right.... I will know. Well, needless to say we had a really bad weekend. I won't go into great detail, but she was...	rtexas	15	645	Oct 13, 2006 by maresie2
	flahsbacks (Preview) My husband died of a brain tumor about 7 years ago. His emotions were out of control due to the tumor and meds he was on. A lot of the time he was unreasonable. I suffered a lot of panic attacks that seemed vaguely familiar. Once, in particular he was haranguing me about the venetian blinds. I started to pan...	bluegrassgal	2	410	Oct 13, 2006 by just me
	hard times (Preview) Hi im Dawn, Ive been coming here for 3 yrs now,without this room i dont know how i would handle this situation.Well anyways my sister had a stroke,alot of brain damage and cant walk or move arm etc......But the warning signs were there her pressure was high she had light flashes in her eyes.I offered h...	rosedawn	4	497	Oct 13, 2006 by just me
	Thought I'd Share this...If it helps someone? Thats all that matters.. (Preview) Letting Go: The Journey for your Life - Letting Go By Barry Elwin-Jones WHAT IS LETTING GO? Letting go can be the most terrifying experience we can have. Letting go means having no support mechanism for our egos. Put simply, when we let go, we trust that everything is going to work out in our best i...	Phil	5	1398	Oct 13, 2006 by hersh
	compassion for the alcoholic (Preview) Hi ((((((friends)))))) I had another bad day Tuesday.Cried all day.But it seems every time I have one of those days I take a step forward after it.I seem to learn from it.This time my eyes have been opened.I think I have found that elusive compassion Alanon tells us to have for alcoholics. Now,kee...	drucilla06	4	769	Oct 13, 2006 by Jill
	Hate me today... (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) I heard a song on the radio this morning on the way to work. I had been ... uh... rocking my therapy I guess. The others on the road hopefully thought I was on my hands free cell phone. LOL Just before I hit the parking lot a song by Blue October came on. I have heard this song hundreds o...	rtexas	7	632	Oct 13, 2006 by kitty
	lonely (Preview) Hi everyone, The thing that always gets me on this board is that so often, others are feeling so similar to me. It is always so comforting to be reminded that I am not alone. Life has been calm lately.(as calm as life with 7 children can be) The kids and I go about our daily lives. My front door is all bu...	Jeannie	6	429	Oct 13, 2006 by Jeannie
	Breaking anonymity (Preview) Hi all, A quick note to remind all of us how important anonymity is to the success of this program. I was at the mall yesterday shopping with my wife. We ran into a mutual acquaintance and stopped to say hi. She is from my f2f group and never let on that I had ever been there bless her. The...	lilms	14	2185	Oct 13, 2006 by lin0606
	new - need some advice! (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new to these boards. I was just married a month ago, and my new AH went into detox and rehab a week ago. I thought everything was going great. I mean, he had some slips in the past, but swore to me he was doing really well, which I believed. I never really thought it was this serious. I am s...	krusland	4	543	Oct 13, 2006 by annmarie
	affection (Preview) Can an A be an affectionate person? I have been doing a lot of thinking. Lack of simple affection is a real issue for me. It causes a lot of problems for me. Maybe I'm too defensive and self protective to allow affection. AM	annmarie	4	421	Oct 13, 2006 by annmarie
	A's worst nightmare (Preview) What was said about Alanon being an A's worst nightmare is true. My husband and I were both asked to speak at an Alanon meeting I didn't attend regularly. When his turn came, he said "Ladies and Gentlemen", you will never no how you are screwing up someone's enjoyment of drinkng by coming to these meetin...	bluegrassgal	4	482	Oct 12, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	How many meetings? (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just curious. I remember when hubby got out of rehab and they stressed 90 meetings in 90 days. (He being the classic over achiever did 90 meetings in 90 minutes lol! still relapsed) My local alanon group never talks about things like that. How many meetings you...	Karilynn	7	611	Oct 12, 2006 by mastiff
	Where would I be... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Where would I be without my AW. Probably in rehab myself or dead. ..... why would I say that. My Father was an active A most of my life. He didn't find sobriety until the fine state of Texas gave him a choice. Go to rehab or go to jail. It was his first...	rtexas	5	460	Oct 12, 2006 by Lakegirl
	My husbands sobriety ends :( (Preview) Well, yesterday was a very difficult day for my husband it was the 2nd anniversary of his mothers death. As you know he is living in a camper after I kicked him out nearly 4 weeks ago. Last night he went to his fathers and then the grave site and said he would call me later. I said okay and went on .. I too...	Tammy	10	436	Oct 12, 2006 by TLC2
	cheating (Preview) Last night I talked to my A for the fist time in almost 2 weeks. He is still using/drinking and is so far in his addiction that its frightening. I am 4000 miles away from our home.. and him and I feel helpless. He told me he loves me and wants to come here to be with me and get help. He says he needs to go but will ca...	rainydayz	7	651	Oct 12, 2006 by isabela40
	Why do we have to be nice? (Preview) Just wondering if someone is verbally abusive to you drunk or not, why must we "not say it mean"? Don't you think that sometimes a cold hard word is effective at making someone stop to think? I don't mean just to be hurtful but to say what is true whether it hurts or not. IE I don'...	carolinagirl	10	582	Oct 12, 2006 by Diva
	Need ESH Desperately, please.... (Preview) I cannot get very detailed right now as my time is in short supply at the moment, but I am in some seriously desperate need of ESH. My A has decided to attempt getting sober. I don't know what precipitated this epiphany and I won't question it. So far he's made two AA meetings...	CoffeeBean3	8	509	Oct 12, 2006 by debilyn
	slipped a little, i guess (Preview) Well, I did go ahead and tell my A that I was going to put myself in Al-Anon again. I figured it was safe to call him since he had been over the other day to fix something in the house and we were nice to each other. So I told him about the bill collectors who keep...	jaja	2	456	Oct 12, 2006 by debilyn
	Said what I mean...but didn't say it mean (Preview) Sunday,after a month long rollercoaster binge of alcohol and drugs, I asked my A to make a choice...enter rehab (again) or move out of my house and life. So of course the routine went...anger, denial, and today...quiet submissiveness. He called at work to pretend like I was just "over reacting" and I...	kicky	4	506	Oct 12, 2006 by Jerry F
	his buddy (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope you will help me to see this situation more clearly. I feel I am just going round in circles at the moment. My bf has not been drinking for a few weeks now and we are getting on well. He is not on a programme though, and has no intention of staying sober. We have had some good times recen...	annmarie	4	389	Oct 12, 2006 by annmarie
	Obsession.... (Preview) (((Everyone))) Happy Tuesday! I just thought of something so weird today. I am getting so much stronger. It was an up and down weekend, sounds like everyone here had one too. BUT, I was thinking today how much stronger I am than before, and how much I obsessed with AH's eve...	hersh	5	391	Oct 12, 2006 by rainydayz
	Tired to the Bone (Preview) I am tired. So tired of dealing. With him, with myself, with my job, everything. I just want to sleep. My house is a mess. We have no clean clothes. The fridge is a mess. Dishes in the sink. Dishes in the drainer. I just come home, try to cope, go to work, come home...	Becky1	7	494	Oct 11, 2006 by artygirl
	When I am right ..... (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) My A has taken to making comments od "When I am right ... I Will date you again" I will have another house" be happy" Usually i can hear these things and just let them go. The I will date you again comment really got me thinking though. In the last year or so I have been told I w...	Jennifer	3	490	Oct 11, 2006 by Lunamoth
	GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! (Preview) Okay, So yesterday I posted and it was all sweet and light. I truly believe that stuff, really I do but right at the moment I just wanna run far far away. I am tired of never knowing when my home is going to be invaded. The A is here, has been using, has made a mess and because she is not my chil...	lilms	3	414	Oct 11, 2006 by peewee
	Today I have to remember (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Today I been saying the S prayer quite a bit. Especially "... the courage to change the things I can". I am so tired. I had to remind myself today that I was having suicidal daydreams, like subconcious plans when I found this program. I have to keep remindin...	rtexas	7	522	Oct 11, 2006 by Lunamoth
	From the mouths of babes (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Last night, my AW who is caught in a tough spot of making a decission if she is to go to rehab or go out on her own. The throws of that turned into a horrible scene last night that got loud and physical. Unfortunately (but not supprising) our 11 yr old son walked in...	rtexas	4	504	Oct 11, 2006 by just me
	Sobriety brings resentment (Preview) AH is beginning day 2. This time he isn't going through heavy-duty withdrawal, which is nice. BUT...it drives me nuts that when he is drinking he can just drop all responsibility. I do everything (run business, clean house, pay bills, cook, take care of child, mow grass). Then when he is sober for a day...	babysteps	5	597	Oct 11, 2006 by kingston
	UPDATE !! (Preview) Today is the 2nd anniversary of the death of my mother in law and the day my life really started going downhill. My husband found his mother dead that day and his drinking became out of control and has not improved since. I have left my husband more than once during the last two years only to return to pro...	Tammy	3	403	Oct 11, 2006 by JulieLynn
	New Here (Preview) I really don't know where to begin. Please bear with me...this is going to get long. I began noticing that my husband had a drinking problem about 2 or so years ago, after his first seizure (caused by withdrawl we now know). That was followed over the next year or so by 2 more withdrawl ind...	Nette	7	387	Oct 11, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Horrible f2f meeting ADVICE PLEASE! (Preview) I have been going off and on to a f2f mtg in my area. it is a small town and there's only 1 and they meet once a week. There are always the same 5 adults and 1 teen there. Last meeting there were as many kids as adults and the entire meeting was run by one of the kids as an alateen meeting.&nbs...	carolinagirl	10	624	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	I want to live not merely survive.... (Preview) Hi Alanon friends, I haven't posted in awhile. No big drama with my AHsober. We have been separated a year physically; 2 years since he said he wanted out of the marriage. He fades further and further into the background by his choice. He promises to call but forgets. He makes plans to meet and then som...	nmike	5	597	Oct 11, 2006 by drucilla06
	Frustrated with my brother (Preview) My brother has been labelled by himself and others as an alcoholic. Maybe I am speaking from the position of not understanding the disease - but what it looks like to me is that he is just a very immature individual who can't say no to a party. He "dried out" 2 years ago at a centre for one mon...	Tamiele	2	337	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	needing to be reminded (Preview) Thank you for all the comments and input. Alcoholics are not the only ones who can fall off the wagon. We can too if we neglect to work the program like I have. One of the comments was about grief I might still be harboring for my husband. I am grieving but not so much for my husband. I lost my sister a coup...	bluegrassgal	3	478	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	boundries (Preview) i brought up the "say what you mean but don't say it mean" thing last night at my meeting. i am having a hard time with stating my boundries and consequently i am becoming full of resentment and the old anger and hurts are threatening to come spilling out. my ex has been spending all his time here with me and...	serendipity	4	421	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Asked my A to leave...again. (Preview) After my last post, I took in all the great responses and realized I was kidding myself if I could practice ignoring the ill-behavior of my A. I love the principals of alanon. I tried to work on myself and enjoy my life even if my A was still actively "alcoholish." But after this weekend of disrespectfuln...	kicky	4	407	Oct 11, 2006 by annmarie
	Feeling guilty (Preview) Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but read here everyday, and get so much from other peoples words of wisdom, it helps to come here and know that I am not alone in this problem and be able to get a bit of insite to how others deal with their day to day lives with their A's. I&n...	acjmom	2	379	Oct 11, 2006 by rtexas
	How strong is the addiction (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Wow, this is going to be a rough road I believe. It reminds me of when my youngest son was starting to sleep in his own room by himself. He stalled, and cried, and screamed and it was absolutely heart wrenching. But, you know he wasn't in pain, he just didn't w...	rtexas	8	508	Oct 11, 2006 by twinmom2
	question: al anon and the A (Preview) Do you think it is not such a good thing to let the A know that you are in AL-ANON? I ask this because I am just getting back into meetings and at this time my A is not aware of that. While I know he'll drink no matter what if he's so compelled and my going to meetings doesn't matter to him any...	jaja	8	514	Oct 11, 2006 by Karilynn
	aha moment - ive been letting my boss make me nuts! (Preview) just finally had an aha moment - and if anyone can extend on this please do so We got a new boss a few years ago. I worked in my job for several years before she was hired. It seems like she plays favorites, is not very available, hardly ever in the office, spends hours shopping for supplies, etc. It...	Barbara	3	419	Oct 11, 2006 by isabela40
	A little history (Preview) I started Alanon in 1977 but haven't been active in the last few years. I was pretty active in the organization for about 20 years. My husband died about 7 years ago. He had been sober for about 22 years. Alanon literally saved my sanity. Here I am again faced with my son...	bluegrassgal	4	497	Oct 11, 2006 by isabela40
	My sick husband (Preview) I just need to share. Yesterday when my AH got home from work (around 4 pm) he asked what I wanted for dinner, then offered to go to the store to get it. I said sure! He came home with a large bottle of wine, steak and salad. We ate dinner, watched TV, he talked to our daughter's soccer coach on the phone, q...	babysteps	8	411	Oct 10, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Trying really hard to let go (Preview) I am trying really hard not to care what my A does. We are seperated and I still find myself thrying to influence him to do what I want him to do. Last night I went to a f2f meeting (the one in my town is horrible) and I asked if he wanted to go to aa (same place and time) he said he was tired, etc. so I s...	carolinagirl	4	346	Oct 10, 2006 by Tammy
	Learning (Preview) I am learning that while doing ur steps u could be working on more then one step. RIght now i am working on both 4th and 12 step. It is great to be helping someone else. You can get to know the person u are sponsoring. You watch them grow and u work on ur guidance. It takes patience to sponsor someone and know th...	nycbt	1	428	Oct 10, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Getting thru the dark days (Preview) Hello Friends, Just a little update, I'm doing a little better.....getting thru it the best that I can...one of the toughest aspects of this insane disease is....realizing the truth...finally looking at the addict the way they are not the way I am want him to be...realizing that the disease won...	Andrea12	7	503	Oct 10, 2006 by Karilynn
	God's Majesty (Preview) On a weekend such as this, unseasonably warm for Taxachusetts and during the Fall Foliage, there is no doubt in my mind that a Higher Power (whom I choose to call God) exists and that His majesty and beauty is out there each and every day for me to enjoy. Amazing how He sits up there waiting patiently for me...	Maria123	8	478	Oct 10, 2006 by bob6502
	thank you! (Preview) i wanted to take a minute and thank everyone who responded to my last post. i really need to be here right now. it was very helpful to be reminded (and i need it over and over again) to take care of myself. yes, i've been in therapy for 6 years. it helps immensely with the...	violet	1	343	Oct 10, 2006 by hersh
	Hurting Hand, Hurting Heart (Preview) This was a long, hard weekend. I have learned a lot though. Thanks for all your posts and prayers to my last post about me hitting the wall. I keep hearing these Alanon "helpful hints" from others, and am realizing more every day how much I need this program. My expectations of hav...	Becky1	11	476	Oct 10, 2006 by Becky1
	p.s. (Preview) if i kept sticking my finger in a light socket and it hurt, i would stop. the relationship with my A feels like a light socket that i've been sticking my finger into over and over. ow. ow. ow. i don't want to stick my finger into it anymore. i...	violet	7	401	Oct 10, 2006 by violet
	So moved by your thoughts and prayers (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Julia, it is funny you say "about time"... Since this has been going on in varying degrees for over 6 years, it almost seems like a mere instant since I became aware of this program and the life saving information it holds. I a...	rtexas	5	477	Oct 10, 2006 by greta
	Hersh (Preview) Wow what a trip. What I do is love what bugs me. No pun intended here. Ants come in once in awhile. I learned some need water, some need juice... so I will put a dot of whatever out. They take it and go home. When I fought them, more came. I honestly don't see them much anymore. So this summer/fall it daw...	debilyn	1	384	Oct 10, 2006 by hersh
	Today I will...... (Preview) I just read my reading for the day in "The Language Of Letting Go" and I will examine what payoff I am getting from staying in this relationship. There is more to it than financial security. I just need to figure out what it is. It's a great reading today, there is a reason I am still her...	marmare	2	353	Oct 10, 2006 by hersh
	A Most Wacky Experience (Preview) Well I'm back from my short vacation, but I had a rather interesting experience. My uncle who is also in AA took me to an AA meeting... I won't say where, but... shall we say, the location of this meeting was in the equivalent of an alligator-filled swamp of alcoholism and addiction. Last week I was posti...	barisax	4	404	Oct 10, 2006 by barisax
	moving forward... (Preview) Hello I've been working really hard for about a week or so to get my house ready to sell. My sister and my best friend have been helping me and I could not do it without them. I will be forever be grateful to them. I need them to keep me focussed and on task. I love my house and really didn't want to have to sell...	artygirl	7	471	Oct 10, 2006 by debilyn
	Buying my Father's Booze for Him (Preview) Hello, I have a question to ask please. As I have posted before, my Father is a very heavy daily drinker which causes much dismay and worry. It is however how he is and I don't see it changing, only worsening in time. My question is this. My Father lives pretty far from the neare...	Leah	7	572	Oct 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Whew!!! (Preview) Hi (((family))) It's been a whirlwind week!! Hubby came home from Alaska for his daughter's wedding last Sat. We spent the week getting suits for him and our son, getting fitted, buying winter clothes for hubby to take back etc. We had to buy new clothes because sober hubby is getting chubby..l...	Christy	12	463	Oct 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Being lazy and taking advantage (Preview) So the A has been 'visiting' a lot lately and was at the house all day Saturday. I did what I had to do and then spent all day laying around on the couch or in bed and letting him cook, watch the kids, etc. I spent the next day cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. My problem with this is that I kno...	carolinagirl	2	520	Oct 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Need words of Wisdom for a member of our family who can't post for herself! (Preview) Hi all, I have been trying to help someone get access to the board for a couple weeks now (I have emailed John, I know he has a lot going on right now) Anyway she can't get an account right now that is the problem. She emailed me today and with her permission I am posting her email so that she can get teh benef...	Dolphin123	4	431	Oct 10, 2006 by Rita G
	12 step retreat (Preview) Hello everyone, I am a member of alanon, and my spouse is in recovery. We both are involved in our programs, and it literally has saved us both. I have a question regarding 12 step recovery retreats. We have never attended any retreat until the last month. My spouse attended a 12 step retreat. Any...	wilkin99	5	851	Oct 10, 2006 by wilkin99
	"not responsible" even when not drunk? (Preview) my 2-yr-old daughter woke up by boyfriend this morning, looking for her blanket ... i sat up to see him holding her shoulders and saying directly to her face in a nasty tone of voice "you will be dead!" or something like that (i'm so freaked out at the moment i'm having problems remembering what's gone on...	purpleraven	16	1133	Oct 9, 2006 by purpleraven
	I can't tolerate his disease anymore (Preview) My A has been on a binge for a month now. He has a couple of good days and then a couple of bad days. We have been seeing a counselor together who has set up guidelines for us (principles similar to alanon) but the realism is, nothing matters if he is using. We can agree to anything in the doc's office sober......	kicky	8	499	Oct 9, 2006 by jaja
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.