Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lilms · lilms

Hi all, A quick note to remind all of us how important anonymity is to the success of this program. I was at the mall yesterday shopping with my wife. We ran into a mutual acquaintance and stopped to say hi. She is from my f2f group and never let on that I had ever been there bless her. The...

krusland · krusland

Hi everyone. I'm new to these boards. I was just married a month ago, and my new AH went into detox and rehab a week ago. I thought everything was going great. I mean, he had some slips in the past, but swore to me he was doing really well, which I believed. I never really thought it was this serious. I am s...

annmarie · annmarie

Can an A be an affectionate person? I have been doing a lot of thinking. Lack of simple affection is a real issue for me. It causes a lot of problems for me. Maybe I'm too defensive and self protective to allow affection. AM

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

What was said about Alanon being an A's worst nightmare is true. My husband and I were both asked to speak at an Alanon meeting I didn't attend regularly. When his turn came, he said "Ladies and Gentlemen", you will never no how you are screwing up someone's enjoyment of drinkng by coming to these meetin...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just curious. I remember when hubby got out of rehab and they stressed 90 meetings in 90 days. (He being the classic over achiever did 90 meetings in 90 minutes lol! still relapsed) My local alanon group never talks about things like that. How many meetings you...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Where would I be without my AW. Probably in rehab myself or dead. ..... why would I say that. My Father was an active A most of my life. He didn't find sobriety until the fine state of Texas gave him a choice. Go to rehab or go to jail. It was his first...

Tammy · Tammy

Well, yesterday was a very difficult day for my husband it was the 2nd anniversary of his mothers death. As you know he is living in a camper after I kicked him out nearly 4 weeks ago. Last night he went to his fathers and then the grave site and said he would call me later. I said okay and went on .. I too...

rainydayz · rainydayz

Last night I talked to my A for the fist time in almost 2 weeks. He is still using/drinking and is so far in his addiction that its frightening. I am 4000 miles away from our home.. and him and I feel helpless. He told me he loves me and wants to come here to be with me and get help. He says he needs to go but will ca...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just wondering if someone is verbally abusive to you drunk or not, why must we "not say it mean"? Don't you think that sometimes a cold hard word is effective at making someone stop to think? I don't mean just to be hurtful but to say what is true whether it hurts or not. IE I don'...

CoffeeBean3 · CoffeeBean3

I cannot get very detailed right now as my time is in short supply at the moment, but I am in some seriously desperate need of ESH. My A has decided to attempt getting sober. I don't know what precipitated this epiphany and I won't question it. So far he's made two AA meetings...

jaja · jaja

Well, I did go ahead and tell my A that I was going to put myself in Al-Anon again. I figured it was safe to call him since he had been over the other day to fix something in the house and we were nice to each other. So I told him about the bill collectors who keep...

kicky · kicky

Sunday,after a month long rollercoaster binge of alcohol and drugs, I asked my A to make a choice...enter rehab (again) or move out of my house and life. So of course the routine went...anger, denial, and today...quiet submissiveness. He called at work to pretend like I was just "over reacting" and I...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I hope you will help me to see this situation more clearly. I feel I am just going round in circles at the moment. My bf has not been drinking for a few weeks now and we are getting on well. He is not on a programme though, and has no intention of staying sober. We have had some good times recen...

hersh · hersh

(((Everyone))) Happy Tuesday! I just thought of something so weird today. I am getting so much stronger. It was an up and down weekend, sounds like everyone here had one too. BUT, I was thinking today how much stronger I am than before, and how much I obsessed with AH's eve...

Becky1 · Becky1

I am tired. So tired of dealing. With him, with myself, with my job, everything. I just want to sleep. My house is a mess. We have no clean clothes. The fridge is a mess. Dishes in the sink. Dishes in the drainer. I just come home, try to cope, go to work, come home...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) My A has taken to making comments od "When I am right ... I Will date you again" I will have another house" be happy" Usually i can hear these things and just let them go. The I will date you again comment really got me thinking though. In the last year or so I have been told I w...

lilms · lilms

Okay, So yesterday I posted and it was all sweet and light. I truly believe that stuff, really I do but right at the moment I just wanna run far far away. I am tired of never knowing when my home is going to be invaded. The A is here, has been using, has made a mess and because she is not my chil...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Today I been saying the S prayer quite a bit. Especially "... the courage to change the things I can". I am so tired. I had to remind myself today that I was having suicidal daydreams, like subconcious plans when I found this program. I have to keep remindin...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Last night, my AW who is caught in a tough spot of making a decission if she is to go to rehab or go out on her own. The throws of that turned into a horrible scene last night that got loud and physical. Unfortunately (but not supprising) our 11 yr old son walked in...

babysteps · babysteps

AH is beginning day 2. This time he isn't going through heavy-duty withdrawal, which is nice. BUT...it drives me nuts that when he is drinking he can just drop all responsibility. I do everything (run business, clean house, pay bills, cook, take care of child, mow grass). Then when he is sober for a day...

Tammy · Tammy

Today is the 2nd anniversary of the death of my mother in law and the day my life really started going downhill. My husband found his mother dead that day and his drinking became out of control and has not improved since. I have left my husband more than once during the last two years only to return to pro...

Nette · Nette

I really don't know where to begin. Please bear with me...this is going to get long. I began noticing that my husband had a drinking problem about 2 or so years ago, after his first seizure (caused by withdrawl we now know). That was followed over the next year or so by 2 more withdrawl ind...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been going off and on to a f2f mtg in my area. it is a small town and there's only 1 and they meet once a week. There are always the same 5 adults and 1 teen there. Last meeting there were as many kids as adults and the entire meeting was run by one of the kids as an alateen meeting.&nbs...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanon friends, I haven't posted in awhile. No big drama with my AHsober. We have been separated a year physically; 2 years since he said he wanted out of the marriage. He fades further and further into the background by his choice. He promises to call but forgets. He makes plans to meet and then som...

Tamiele · Tamiele

My brother has been labelled by himself and others as an alcoholic. Maybe I am speaking from the position of not understanding the disease - but what it looks like to me is that he is just a very immature individual who can't say no to a party. He "dried out" 2 years ago at a centre for one mon...

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

Thank you for all the comments and input. Alcoholics are not the only ones who can fall off the wagon. We can too if we neglect to work the program like I have. One of the comments was about grief I might still be harboring for my husband. I am grieving but not so much for my husband. I lost my sister a coup...

serendipity · serendipity

i brought up the "say what you mean but don't say it mean" thing last night at my meeting. i am having a hard time with stating my boundries and consequently i am becoming full of resentment and the old anger and hurts are threatening to come spilling out. my ex has been spending all his time here with me and...

kicky · kicky

After my last post, I took in all the great responses and realized I was kidding myself if I could practice ignoring the ill-behavior of my A. I love the principals of alanon. I tried to work on myself and enjoy my life even if my A was still actively "alcoholish." But after this weekend of disrespectfuln...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but read here everyday, and get so much from other peoples words of wisdom, it helps to come here and know that I am not alone in this problem and be able to get a bit of insite to how others deal with their day to day lives with their A's. I&n...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Wow, this is going to be a rough road I believe. It reminds me of when my youngest son was starting to sleep in his own room by himself. He stalled, and cried, and screamed and it was absolutely heart wrenching. But, you know he wasn't in pain, he just didn't w...

jaja · jaja

Do you think it is not such a good thing to let the A know that you are in AL-ANON? I ask this because I am just getting back into meetings and at this time my A is not aware of that. While I know he'll drink no matter what if he's so compelled and my going to meetings doesn't matter to him any...

Barbara · Barbara

just finally had an aha moment - and if anyone can extend on this please do so We got a new boss a few years ago. I worked in my job for several years before she was hired. It seems like she plays favorites, is not very available, hardly ever in the office, spends hours shopping for supplies, etc. It...

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

I started Alanon in 1977 but haven't been active in the last few years. I was pretty active in the organization for about 20 years. My husband died about 7 years ago. He had been sober for about 22 years. Alanon literally saved my sanity. Here I am again faced with my son...

babysteps · babysteps

I just need to share. Yesterday when my AH got home from work (around 4 pm) he asked what I wanted for dinner, then offered to go to the store to get it. I said sure! He came home with a large bottle of wine, steak and salad. We ate dinner, watched TV, he talked to our daughter's soccer coach on the phone, q...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am trying really hard not to care what my A does. We are seperated and I still find myself thrying to influence him to do what I want him to do. Last night I went to a f2f meeting (the one in my town is horrible) and I asked if he wanted to go to aa (same place and time) he said he was tired, etc. so I s...

nycbt · nycbt

I am learning that while doing ur steps u could be working on more then one step. RIght now i am working on both 4th and 12 step. It is great to be helping someone else. You can get to know the person u are sponsoring. You watch them grow and u work on ur guidance. It takes patience to sponsor someone and know th...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Just a little update, I'm doing a little better.....getting thru it the best that I can...one of the toughest aspects of this insane disease is....realizing the truth...finally looking at the addict the way they are not the way I am want him to be...realizing that the disease won...

Maria123 · Maria123

On a weekend such as this, unseasonably warm for Taxachusetts and during the Fall Foliage, there is no doubt in my mind that a Higher Power (whom I choose to call God) exists and that His majesty and beauty is out there each and every day for me to enjoy. Amazing how He sits up there waiting patiently for me...

violet · violet

i wanted to take a minute and thank everyone who responded to my last post. i really need to be here right now. it was very helpful to be reminded (and i need it over and over again) to take care of myself. yes, i've been in therapy for 6 years. it helps immensely with the...

Becky1 · Becky1

This was a long, hard weekend. I have learned a lot though. Thanks for all your posts and prayers to my last post about me hitting the wall. I keep hearing these Alanon "helpful hints" from others, and am realizing more every day how much I need this program. My expectations of hav...

violet · violet

if i kept sticking my finger in a light socket and it hurt, i would stop. the relationship with my A feels like a light socket that i've been sticking my finger into over and over. ow. ow. ow. i don't want to stick my finger into it anymore. i...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Julia, it is funny you say "about time"... Since this has been going on in varying degrees for over 6 years, it almost seems like a mere instant since I became aware of this program and the life saving information it holds. I a...

debilyn · debilyn

Wow what a trip. What I do is love what bugs me. No pun intended here. Ants come in once in awhile. I learned some need water, some need juice... so I will put a dot of whatever out. They take it and go home. When I fought them, more came. I honestly don't see them much anymore. So this summer/fall it daw...

marmare · marmare

I just read my reading for the day in "The Language Of Letting Go" and I will examine what payoff I am getting from staying in this relationship. There is more to it than financial security. I just need to figure out what it is. It's a great reading today, there is a reason I am still her...

barisax · barisax

Well I'm back from my short vacation, but I had a rather interesting experience. My uncle who is also in AA took me to an AA meeting... I won't say where, but... shall we say, the location of this meeting was in the equivalent of an alligator-filled swamp of alcoholism and addiction. Last week I was posti...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello I've been working really hard for about a week or so to get my house ready to sell. My sister and my best friend have been helping me and I could not do it without them. I will be forever be grateful to them. I need them to keep me focussed and on task. I love my house and really didn't want to have to sell...

Leah · Leah

Hello, I have a question to ask please. As I have posted before, my Father is a very heavy daily drinker which causes much dismay and worry. It is however how he is and I don't see it changing, only worsening in time. My question is this. My Father lives pretty far from the neare...

Christy · Christy

Hi (((family))) It's been a whirlwind week!! Hubby came home from Alaska for his daughter's wedding last Sat. We spent the week getting suits for him and our son, getting fitted, buying winter clothes for hubby to take back etc. We had to buy new clothes because sober hubby is getting chubby..l...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So the A has been 'visiting' a lot lately and was at the house all day Saturday. I did what I had to do and then spent all day laying around on the couch or in bed and letting him cook, watch the kids, etc. I spent the next day cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. My problem with this is that I kno...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I have been trying to help someone get access to the board for a couple weeks now (I have emailed John, I know he has a lot going on right now) Anyway she can't get an account right now that is the problem. She emailed me today and with her permission I am posting her email so that she can get teh benef...

wilkin99 · wilkin99

Hello everyone, I am a member of alanon, and my spouse is in recovery. We both are involved in our programs, and it literally has saved us both. I have a question regarding 12 step recovery retreats. We have never attended any retreat until the last month. My spouse attended a 12 step retreat. Any...

purpleraven · purpleraven

my 2-yr-old daughter woke up by boyfriend this morning, looking for her blanket ... i sat up to see him holding her shoulders and saying directly to her face in a nasty tone of voice "you will be dead!" or something like that (i'm so freaked out at the moment i'm having problems remembering what's gone on...

kicky · kicky

My A has been on a binge for a month now. He has a couple of good days and then a couple of bad days. We have been seeing a counselor together who has set up guidelines for us (principles similar to alanon) but the realism is, nothing matters if he is using. We can agree to anything in the doc's office sober......

debilyn · debilyn

I was just thinking and feeling as I was writing to Jaja, about how much the A and my sickness are the same. When he first would leave or I would make him go, I could barely go a day without calling him. We did the back and forth stuff with out moving anything, did the back and forth and he would be gone a nig...

be4yourii · be4yourii

I've been on a long and bumpy road this last month. I though I had everything figured out but now I'm not so sure. I need help!! About a month ago, I left my boyfriend because I could not handle his alcoholism anymore. He would stay out late, miss work or go to work hung over, spend our rent money on alcoh...

gardengal · gardengal

We tend to find ourselves dwelling on the negative more than the positive. This is what this disease does to us. We tend to wallow and get stuck on the pity pot,,,,, when things are living, blooming, laughing,enjoying life all around us! I for one am guilty of that. Small things that surround us each day...

Becky1 · Becky1

My oldest Sis and her husband are here in Ohio visiting from Colorado, for the weekend. I had wanted so much for my whole family, my husband, my daughter, my sis and bro in law to go out to dinner. I screwed things up bad.

Sis and her hubby were here last night...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) My life feels like a whirl wind of weird occurrances these days. As I previously posted I have recently gone through some financial upheavals, the A changing jobs, and my condo association heaping assessments on us right now. My home life in my relationship the last...

kitty · kitty

Most people, don't understand depression, I've had it all of my life & can't control my lows. Last month, I chose to go to the bookstore & buy some books I was drawn to, different subjects; philosophical, meta-physical. I even bought one on Mandalas (all sorts of circulat & ancien...

lilms · lilms

To all of my fellow Canadians HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! I am Thankful ...for the taxes I pay because it means that I am employed ...for the mess to clean after today's dinner because it means I have been surrounded by those that I love ...for the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Breaking anonymity (Preview) Hi all, A quick note to remind all of us how important anonymity is to the success of this program. I was at the mall yesterday shopping with my wife. We ran into a mutual acquaintance and stopped to say hi. She is from my f2f group and never let on that I had ever been there bless her. The...	lilms	14	1564	Oct 13, 2006 by lin0606
	new - need some advice! (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new to these boards. I was just married a month ago, and my new AH went into detox and rehab a week ago. I thought everything was going great. I mean, he had some slips in the past, but swore to me he was doing really well, which I believed. I never really thought it was this serious. I am s...	krusland	4	516	Oct 13, 2006 by annmarie
	affection (Preview) Can an A be an affectionate person? I have been doing a lot of thinking. Lack of simple affection is a real issue for me. It causes a lot of problems for me. Maybe I'm too defensive and self protective to allow affection. AM	annmarie	4	369	Oct 13, 2006 by annmarie
	A's worst nightmare (Preview) What was said about Alanon being an A's worst nightmare is true. My husband and I were both asked to speak at an Alanon meeting I didn't attend regularly. When his turn came, he said "Ladies and Gentlemen", you will never no how you are screwing up someone's enjoyment of drinkng by coming to these meetin...	bluegrassgal	4	455	Oct 12, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	How many meetings? (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just curious. I remember when hubby got out of rehab and they stressed 90 meetings in 90 days. (He being the classic over achiever did 90 meetings in 90 minutes lol! still relapsed) My local alanon group never talks about things like that. How many meetings you...	Karilynn	7	585	Oct 12, 2006 by mastiff
	Where would I be... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Where would I be without my AW. Probably in rehab myself or dead. ..... why would I say that. My Father was an active A most of my life. He didn't find sobriety until the fine state of Texas gave him a choice. Go to rehab or go to jail. It was his first...	rtexas	5	435	Oct 12, 2006 by Lakegirl
	My husbands sobriety ends :( (Preview) Well, yesterday was a very difficult day for my husband it was the 2nd anniversary of his mothers death. As you know he is living in a camper after I kicked him out nearly 4 weeks ago. Last night he went to his fathers and then the grave site and said he would call me later. I said okay and went on .. I too...	Tammy	10	411	Oct 12, 2006 by TLC2
	cheating (Preview) Last night I talked to my A for the fist time in almost 2 weeks. He is still using/drinking and is so far in his addiction that its frightening. I am 4000 miles away from our home.. and him and I feel helpless. He told me he loves me and wants to come here to be with me and get help. He says he needs to go but will ca...	rainydayz	7	608	Oct 12, 2006 by isabela40
	Why do we have to be nice? (Preview) Just wondering if someone is verbally abusive to you drunk or not, why must we "not say it mean"? Don't you think that sometimes a cold hard word is effective at making someone stop to think? I don't mean just to be hurtful but to say what is true whether it hurts or not. IE I don'...	carolinagirl	10	557	Oct 12, 2006 by Diva
	Need ESH Desperately, please.... (Preview) I cannot get very detailed right now as my time is in short supply at the moment, but I am in some seriously desperate need of ESH. My A has decided to attempt getting sober. I don't know what precipitated this epiphany and I won't question it. So far he's made two AA meetings...	CoffeeBean3	8	482	Oct 12, 2006 by debilyn
	slipped a little, i guess (Preview) Well, I did go ahead and tell my A that I was going to put myself in Al-Anon again. I figured it was safe to call him since he had been over the other day to fix something in the house and we were nice to each other. So I told him about the bill collectors who keep...	jaja	2	430	Oct 12, 2006 by debilyn
	Said what I mean...but didn't say it mean (Preview) Sunday,after a month long rollercoaster binge of alcohol and drugs, I asked my A to make a choice...enter rehab (again) or move out of my house and life. So of course the routine went...anger, denial, and today...quiet submissiveness. He called at work to pretend like I was just "over reacting" and I...	kicky	4	480	Oct 12, 2006 by Jerry F
	his buddy (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope you will help me to see this situation more clearly. I feel I am just going round in circles at the moment. My bf has not been drinking for a few weeks now and we are getting on well. He is not on a programme though, and has no intention of staying sober. We have had some good times recen...	annmarie	4	363	Oct 12, 2006 by annmarie
	Obsession.... (Preview) (((Everyone))) Happy Tuesday! I just thought of something so weird today. I am getting so much stronger. It was an up and down weekend, sounds like everyone here had one too. BUT, I was thinking today how much stronger I am than before, and how much I obsessed with AH's eve...	hersh	5	339	Oct 12, 2006 by rainydayz
	Tired to the Bone (Preview) I am tired. So tired of dealing. With him, with myself, with my job, everything. I just want to sleep. My house is a mess. We have no clean clothes. The fridge is a mess. Dishes in the sink. Dishes in the drainer. I just come home, try to cope, go to work, come home...	Becky1	7	465	Oct 11, 2006 by artygirl
	When I am right ..... (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) My A has taken to making comments od "When I am right ... I Will date you again" I will have another house" be happy" Usually i can hear these things and just let them go. The I will date you again comment really got me thinking though. In the last year or so I have been told I w...	Jennifer	3	463	Oct 11, 2006 by Lunamoth
	GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! (Preview) Okay, So yesterday I posted and it was all sweet and light. I truly believe that stuff, really I do but right at the moment I just wanna run far far away. I am tired of never knowing when my home is going to be invaded. The A is here, has been using, has made a mess and because she is not my chil...	lilms	3	358	Oct 11, 2006 by peewee
	Today I have to remember (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Today I been saying the S prayer quite a bit. Especially "... the courage to change the things I can". I am so tired. I had to remind myself today that I was having suicidal daydreams, like subconcious plans when I found this program. I have to keep remindin...	rtexas	7	495	Oct 11, 2006 by Lunamoth
	From the mouths of babes (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Last night, my AW who is caught in a tough spot of making a decission if she is to go to rehab or go out on her own. The throws of that turned into a horrible scene last night that got loud and physical. Unfortunately (but not supprising) our 11 yr old son walked in...	rtexas	4	479	Oct 11, 2006 by just me
	Sobriety brings resentment (Preview) AH is beginning day 2. This time he isn't going through heavy-duty withdrawal, which is nice. BUT...it drives me nuts that when he is drinking he can just drop all responsibility. I do everything (run business, clean house, pay bills, cook, take care of child, mow grass). Then when he is sober for a day...	babysteps	5	570	Oct 11, 2006 by kingston
	UPDATE !! (Preview) Today is the 2nd anniversary of the death of my mother in law and the day my life really started going downhill. My husband found his mother dead that day and his drinking became out of control and has not improved since. I have left my husband more than once during the last two years only to return to pro...	Tammy	3	344	Oct 11, 2006 by JulieLynn
	New Here (Preview) I really don't know where to begin. Please bear with me...this is going to get long. I began noticing that my husband had a drinking problem about 2 or so years ago, after his first seizure (caused by withdrawl we now know). That was followed over the next year or so by 2 more withdrawl ind...	Nette	7	361	Oct 11, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Horrible f2f meeting ADVICE PLEASE! (Preview) I have been going off and on to a f2f mtg in my area. it is a small town and there's only 1 and they meet once a week. There are always the same 5 adults and 1 teen there. Last meeting there were as many kids as adults and the entire meeting was run by one of the kids as an alateen meeting.&nbs...	carolinagirl	10	598	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	I want to live not merely survive.... (Preview) Hi Alanon friends, I haven't posted in awhile. No big drama with my AHsober. We have been separated a year physically; 2 years since he said he wanted out of the marriage. He fades further and further into the background by his choice. He promises to call but forgets. He makes plans to meet and then som...	nmike	5	567	Oct 11, 2006 by drucilla06
	Frustrated with my brother (Preview) My brother has been labelled by himself and others as an alcoholic. Maybe I am speaking from the position of not understanding the disease - but what it looks like to me is that he is just a very immature individual who can't say no to a party. He "dried out" 2 years ago at a centre for one mon...	Tamiele	2	312	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	needing to be reminded (Preview) Thank you for all the comments and input. Alcoholics are not the only ones who can fall off the wagon. We can too if we neglect to work the program like I have. One of the comments was about grief I might still be harboring for my husband. I am grieving but not so much for my husband. I lost my sister a coup...	bluegrassgal	3	449	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	boundries (Preview) i brought up the "say what you mean but don't say it mean" thing last night at my meeting. i am having a hard time with stating my boundries and consequently i am becoming full of resentment and the old anger and hurts are threatening to come spilling out. my ex has been spending all his time here with me and...	serendipity	4	363	Oct 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Asked my A to leave...again. (Preview) After my last post, I took in all the great responses and realized I was kidding myself if I could practice ignoring the ill-behavior of my A. I love the principals of alanon. I tried to work on myself and enjoy my life even if my A was still actively "alcoholish." But after this weekend of disrespectfuln...	kicky	4	381	Oct 11, 2006 by annmarie
	Feeling guilty (Preview) Hello All, I havent posted in awhile, but read here everyday, and get so much from other peoples words of wisdom, it helps to come here and know that I am not alone in this problem and be able to get a bit of insite to how others deal with their day to day lives with their A's. I&n...	acjmom	2	352	Oct 11, 2006 by rtexas
	How strong is the addiction (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Wow, this is going to be a rough road I believe. It reminds me of when my youngest son was starting to sleep in his own room by himself. He stalled, and cried, and screamed and it was absolutely heart wrenching. But, you know he wasn't in pain, he just didn't w...	rtexas	8	477	Oct 11, 2006 by twinmom2
	question: al anon and the A (Preview) Do you think it is not such a good thing to let the A know that you are in AL-ANON? I ask this because I am just getting back into meetings and at this time my A is not aware of that. While I know he'll drink no matter what if he's so compelled and my going to meetings doesn't matter to him any...	jaja	8	488	Oct 11, 2006 by Karilynn
	aha moment - ive been letting my boss make me nuts! (Preview) just finally had an aha moment - and if anyone can extend on this please do so We got a new boss a few years ago. I worked in my job for several years before she was hired. It seems like she plays favorites, is not very available, hardly ever in the office, spends hours shopping for supplies, etc. It...	Barbara	3	384	Oct 11, 2006 by isabela40
	A little history (Preview) I started Alanon in 1977 but haven't been active in the last few years. I was pretty active in the organization for about 20 years. My husband died about 7 years ago. He had been sober for about 22 years. Alanon literally saved my sanity. Here I am again faced with my son...	bluegrassgal	4	469	Oct 11, 2006 by isabela40
	My sick husband (Preview) I just need to share. Yesterday when my AH got home from work (around 4 pm) he asked what I wanted for dinner, then offered to go to the store to get it. I said sure! He came home with a large bottle of wine, steak and salad. We ate dinner, watched TV, he talked to our daughter's soccer coach on the phone, q...	babysteps	8	378	Oct 10, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Trying really hard to let go (Preview) I am trying really hard not to care what my A does. We are seperated and I still find myself thrying to influence him to do what I want him to do. Last night I went to a f2f meeting (the one in my town is horrible) and I asked if he wanted to go to aa (same place and time) he said he was tired, etc. so I s...	carolinagirl	4	319	Oct 10, 2006 by Tammy
	Learning (Preview) I am learning that while doing ur steps u could be working on more then one step. RIght now i am working on both 4th and 12 step. It is great to be helping someone else. You can get to know the person u are sponsoring. You watch them grow and u work on ur guidance. It takes patience to sponsor someone and know th...	nycbt	1	372	Oct 10, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Getting thru the dark days (Preview) Hello Friends, Just a little update, I'm doing a little better.....getting thru it the best that I can...one of the toughest aspects of this insane disease is....realizing the truth...finally looking at the addict the way they are not the way I am want him to be...realizing that the disease won...	Andrea12	7	479	Oct 10, 2006 by Karilynn
	God's Majesty (Preview) On a weekend such as this, unseasonably warm for Taxachusetts and during the Fall Foliage, there is no doubt in my mind that a Higher Power (whom I choose to call God) exists and that His majesty and beauty is out there each and every day for me to enjoy. Amazing how He sits up there waiting patiently for me...	Maria123	8	455	Oct 10, 2006 by bob6502
	thank you! (Preview) i wanted to take a minute and thank everyone who responded to my last post. i really need to be here right now. it was very helpful to be reminded (and i need it over and over again) to take care of myself. yes, i've been in therapy for 6 years. it helps immensely with the...	violet	1	321	Oct 10, 2006 by hersh
	Hurting Hand, Hurting Heart (Preview) This was a long, hard weekend. I have learned a lot though. Thanks for all your posts and prayers to my last post about me hitting the wall. I keep hearing these Alanon "helpful hints" from others, and am realizing more every day how much I need this program. My expectations of hav...	Becky1	11	448	Oct 10, 2006 by Becky1
	p.s. (Preview) if i kept sticking my finger in a light socket and it hurt, i would stop. the relationship with my A feels like a light socket that i've been sticking my finger into over and over. ow. ow. ow. i don't want to stick my finger into it anymore. i...	violet	7	342	Oct 10, 2006 by violet
	So moved by your thoughts and prayers (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Julia, it is funny you say "about time"... Since this has been going on in varying degrees for over 6 years, it almost seems like a mere instant since I became aware of this program and the life saving information it holds. I a...	rtexas	5	449	Oct 10, 2006 by greta
	Hersh (Preview) Wow what a trip. What I do is love what bugs me. No pun intended here. Ants come in once in awhile. I learned some need water, some need juice... so I will put a dot of whatever out. They take it and go home. When I fought them, more came. I honestly don't see them much anymore. So this summer/fall it daw...	debilyn	1	328	Oct 10, 2006 by hersh
	Today I will...... (Preview) I just read my reading for the day in "The Language Of Letting Go" and I will examine what payoff I am getting from staying in this relationship. There is more to it than financial security. I just need to figure out what it is. It's a great reading today, there is a reason I am still her...	marmare	2	326	Oct 10, 2006 by hersh
	A Most Wacky Experience (Preview) Well I'm back from my short vacation, but I had a rather interesting experience. My uncle who is also in AA took me to an AA meeting... I won't say where, but... shall we say, the location of this meeting was in the equivalent of an alligator-filled swamp of alcoholism and addiction. Last week I was posti...	barisax	4	379	Oct 10, 2006 by barisax
	moving forward... (Preview) Hello I've been working really hard for about a week or so to get my house ready to sell. My sister and my best friend have been helping me and I could not do it without them. I will be forever be grateful to them. I need them to keep me focussed and on task. I love my house and really didn't want to have to sell...	artygirl	7	438	Oct 10, 2006 by debilyn
	Buying my Father's Booze for Him (Preview) Hello, I have a question to ask please. As I have posted before, my Father is a very heavy daily drinker which causes much dismay and worry. It is however how he is and I don't see it changing, only worsening in time. My question is this. My Father lives pretty far from the neare...	Leah	7	545	Oct 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Whew!!! (Preview) Hi (((family))) It's been a whirlwind week!! Hubby came home from Alaska for his daughter's wedding last Sat. We spent the week getting suits for him and our son, getting fitted, buying winter clothes for hubby to take back etc. We had to buy new clothes because sober hubby is getting chubby..l...	Christy	12	407	Oct 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Being lazy and taking advantage (Preview) So the A has been 'visiting' a lot lately and was at the house all day Saturday. I did what I had to do and then spent all day laying around on the couch or in bed and letting him cook, watch the kids, etc. I spent the next day cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. My problem with this is that I kno...	carolinagirl	2	494	Oct 10, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Need words of Wisdom for a member of our family who can't post for herself! (Preview) Hi all, I have been trying to help someone get access to the board for a couple weeks now (I have emailed John, I know he has a lot going on right now) Anyway she can't get an account right now that is the problem. She emailed me today and with her permission I am posting her email so that she can get teh benef...	Dolphin123	4	401	Oct 10, 2006 by Rita G
	12 step retreat (Preview) Hello everyone, I am a member of alanon, and my spouse is in recovery. We both are involved in our programs, and it literally has saved us both. I have a question regarding 12 step recovery retreats. We have never attended any retreat until the last month. My spouse attended a 12 step retreat. Any...	wilkin99	5	820	Oct 10, 2006 by wilkin99
	"not responsible" even when not drunk? (Preview) my 2-yr-old daughter woke up by boyfriend this morning, looking for her blanket ... i sat up to see him holding her shoulders and saying directly to her face in a nasty tone of voice "you will be dead!" or something like that (i'm so freaked out at the moment i'm having problems remembering what's gone on...	purpleraven	16	1076	Oct 9, 2006 by purpleraven
	I can't tolerate his disease anymore (Preview) My A has been on a binge for a month now. He has a couple of good days and then a couple of bad days. We have been seeing a counselor together who has set up guidelines for us (principles similar to alanon) but the realism is, nothing matters if he is using. We can agree to anything in the doc's office sober......	kicky	8	466	Oct 9, 2006 by jaja
	Play reversies to understand the pain (Preview) I was just thinking and feeling as I was writing to Jaja, about how much the A and my sickness are the same. When he first would leave or I would make him go, I could barely go a day without calling him. We did the back and forth stuff with out moving anything, did the back and forth and he would be gone a nig...	debilyn	6	572	Oct 9, 2006 by jaja
	hope i'm doing the right thing. advice please! (Preview) I've been on a long and bumpy road this last month. I though I had everything figured out but now I'm not so sure. I need help!! About a month ago, I left my boyfriend because I could not handle his alcoholism anymore. He would stay out late, miss work or go to work hung over, spend our rent money on alcoh...	be4yourii	8	572	Oct 9, 2006 by be4yourii
	Shadow got me thinking....can each one of you write at least 5 things you are grateful for? (Preview) We tend to find ourselves dwelling on the negative more than the positive. This is what this disease does to us. We tend to wallow and get stuck on the pity pot,,,,, when things are living, blooming, laughing,enjoying life all around us! I for one am guilty of that. Small things that surround us each day...	gardengal	14	528	Oct 9, 2006 by Becky1
	I Really Screwed Up, Punching the Wall (literally) (Preview) My oldest Sis and her husband are here in Ohio visiting from Colorado, for the weekend. I had wanted so much for my whole family, my husband, my daughter, my sis and bro in law to go out to dinner. I screwed things up bad. Sis and her hubby were here last night...	Becky1	11	574	Oct 9, 2006 by rtexas
	A marriage proposal? (Preview) (((MIP Family))) My life feels like a whirl wind of weird occurrances these days. As I previously posted I have recently gone through some financial upheavals, the A changing jobs, and my condo association heaping assessments on us right now. My home life in my relationship the last...	twinmom2	10	625	Oct 9, 2006 by TLC2
	Depression: A Monster (Preview) Most people, don't understand depression, I've had it all of my life & can't control my lows. Last month, I chose to go to the bookstore & buy some books I was drawn to, different subjects; philosophical, meta-physical. I even bought one on Mandalas (all sorts of circulat & ancien...	kitty	4	521	Oct 9, 2006 by Rita G
	I Am Thankful For (Preview) To all of my fellow Canadians HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! I am Thankful ...for the taxes I pay because it means that I am employed ...for the mess to clean after today's dinner because it means I have been surrounded by those that I love ...for the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I...	lilms	1	311	Oct 9, 2006 by hersh
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.