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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Obsession....
Post Info TOPIC: Obsession....
hersh


~*Service Worker*~

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Obsession....
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(((Everyone)))


Happy Tuesday!  I just thought of something so weird today.  I am getting so much stronger.  It was an up and down weekend, sounds like everyone here had one too.  BUT, I was thinking today how much stronger I am than before, and how much I obsessed with AH's every move even about a month ago.  How panicked that made me, how worried I was about what he was doing, who he was with, who was calling, checking the cell phone bill online, etc.


You know what?  I just don't care anymore.  I think I can finally detach a little!  I don't WORRY like I used to, I feel peace NOT thinking about him!  This really does work.  I love him, don't get me wrong, love him to pieces, but I know that whatever happens, he is in God's hands.  I have surrendered.


When I was 14 or so, I absolutely OBSESSED over Kiss the rock band and the Rolling Stones.  I had scrapbooks of them, cut out everything I could find about them.  I made up fantasy lives that I was one of their wives, etc., and pretty much drew on everything I had, hung all of their pictures up, just was crazy over everything they did. 


Obsessing over my AH is the same thing in a way.  Kiss or Keith Richards did not even know I existed!  They didn't know my pain of wanting to marry them, or my "love" pining away for them!  AH is in such a fog that he doesn't realize I am hurting anyway, so why hurt?  I used to cry all of the time in front of him and he just got mad and said "all you do is CRY!"  Now I don't cry.  I get up and do my own thing.  It is hard to do without being flippant, you know???  But I no longer want to waste my energy worrying about someone who will not acknowledge his disease and find recovery. 


Finally, I am getting better, and stronger.... for anyone that is new, this DOES happen, though it may be gradual....


Thanks guys, I have learned SO much here....


Love, HeidiXXXX



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TLC2


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 653
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Hey! Congradulations, you are doing great! Keep up the good work. Where would we ever be without this program? Scary thought! Love in the program, TLC

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Sending lots of TLC2U
rtexas


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1371
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((((Hersh))))


That sounds so healthy.  I am glad you are claiming your attention back for yourself.  That is so hard for me for some reason.


Kiss huh?  I never would've guessed that.  LOL


I met Gene Simmons once.  He is a pretty nice guy in person.  He was doing a charity bowling thing here in town for underprivilaged kids.


Keep taking care of you!  You deserve it!


 



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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Tammy


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You make ME proud :) Congratulations on taking YOUR life back !! I'll bet it feels GREAT.. You deserve happiness nothing less !!

Keep SMILING they say that is GREAT medicine :)

Tammy

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Tammy
annmarie


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 511
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(((Heidi))),

You are so strong. It's great to see you doing so well. You are truly an inspiration.

Keep strong
Yours in recovery
AM

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rainydayz


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THANKS Heidi... I needed to hear this. I am going through a similar experience with my A. I have to learn how to detach... which I am finding very difficult. You give me hope. Thank you.


love in recovery


Rainy



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