moving forward... - Al-Anon Family Group

artygirl · Senior Member

moving forward...

Rita G · ~*Service Worker*~

(Arty)

Feel the feelings when you need to, it's ok - that is a big adjustment and lost to go through. Hate that this disease has taken all of that from you. I know that you & your HP will be OK, even better than OK.

Keep posting, go to meetings, stay in touch with people who love you & want the best for you. Most of all take good care of YOU.

Sending good thoughts & prayers your way,

Rita

ollie · Veteran Member

Hi artygirl,

I can relate to your post so much,i believe YES i have come along way since we split in may,but every day i battle with my thoughts,i say, every day he just doesnt get it,we too have lost everything to this disease,for me this is the one thing i do struggle with,how can it be possible to lose all what you have and have no feelings ,no inclination to try and make ammends,my h has made no headway of going to AA either,i gave him under the influence to read,he tells me he only flicked through odd pages cos he found it depressing,pleeeezze give me a break,if not losing all your wordly goods ,family and friends ,job,is not as depressing as reading a book ,he must be very sick indead.

I do wish you well in the sale of your house.

maybe one day we will all find peace

lots of love ollie xxxxxx

Tiger2006 · ~*Service Worker*~

Remember you're going through a major life transition. Transition implies change, an evolution of some kind. You're expected to react, and the idea that some how it's just gonna be okay is kinda out in left field. I mean, remember, you just filed divorce papers, you're attending to your family, and now you're putting your home up to sell. BIG transitions.

hersh · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Sweet Artygirl)))

I am so glad you are keeping busy and focused and you have wonderful support it sounds like. I feel that I may be headed right where you are. I love my house also, and this year has been horrible and it doesn't look like AH is getting any better.

You give me hope and strength. I know that it would be a whole new adventure, and I am glad you have that hope.... but I totally understand how you are feeling so many emotions. As far as you not understanding why, after you filing for divorce, him losing his job, etc. and him still not getting help.... I was told that to never take this personally. He loves you, he doesn't want to do these things. He has no control over this disease.

I think you are doing very well, and continuing to post your progress is wonderful. You helped me today. Please be gentle with yourself, and don't feel guilty. It sounds like you did all that you could do.

Life IS beautiful, and if you concentrate on the more positives of life (like I have to force myself to do sometimes) - we can pull through this. I give you prayers and good hope. You deserve a great life. I'm sorry you are going through this tough time, but it will pass, and you will be stronger for it.

Love,

HeidiXXXXX

annmarie · ~*Service Worker*~

Arty,

I am very saddned by your post, sad that you have to go through all this. I also admire your spirit and perseverance.

You're in my prayers

Keep Strong
AM

carolinagirl · ~*Service Worker*~

Glad to hear you are making progress. I'll think good thoughts for you and you think good thoughts for me. I have someone looking at my house tomorrow and the realtor says they are very interested! good thoughts good thoughts....

I know this can't be the first time that something that seemed like the end of the world has happened to you right? So here's what I do. I look back on the things that I thought were the end of the world and think about how they were positive in my life. I kicked my 1st ex bf out after 7 years of drugs and alc and abuse and it seemed like the end of the world but not only did I survive, I thrived. I barely even think about that any more and someday this will be like that for you. It's always hard when you're in the middle of it but when it's over and you have moved on it seems like it wasn't really so bad when you see all the good things that came out of it. Know what I mean?

I know you're hurting now, but this too will pass and someday it will be barely even a thought in your head because things will be going so great for you and you'll look back and say how did I ever tolerate that? I'm so glad you have friends there to support you.

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Arty my heart does go out to you big time. I hope your house does sell as you wish it does. Please let go and give it to hp.

I am still trying to rent my rental. I depend on the income. We are painting the exterior and I am over there cleaning up the burn pile they left cans and glass in. We are talking a huge pile.

I will do all I can and then leave it alone.

Where will ya live? Will you have to rent? House? Apt? Now you are up in Portland correct? I keep hearing the housing is very difficult, as far as renting.

If your house is in a good area, I bet it sells fast. My friend had to sell and she is moving to Bend, their house sold in ONE day.

I hope yours goes as well.

I love my property but this house is too much for me. Not much I can do about it. I am working on a refi now. I pray it will go. My payment would be in half.

anyway one foot in front of the other and I am so glad you have help.

And Arty I too do the back and forth thing with my Ah. Miss him so much, am so lonely with out him. Then I am so mad becuz he left me here alone and things are getting too heavy for me to lift.

I gotta get a dryer in here today. It is no big deal, yet I wish I did not have to do that stuff on my own.

gotta put a fence up, gotta fix the barn, gotta drag a ton of feed in and 3 tons of hay. gads.

But I live in a paradise out here. not complaining, but do miss/hate my A. sigh Hate=love frustrated.

hugs,debilyn

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