Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

(((Hello Everyone))) I have been having a problem letting go of something that I found out over the weekend. My husband and I have been back together for a few months after months of seperation. While we were seperated I went out a few times with my girlfriends. It wasn't like I was going out to tr...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

Please say a quick prayer for my friends family, sorry cannot give ya the details. Josey

GrandmaNellie · GrandmaNellie

I am new to Al-Anon and couldn't get to a meeting tonight. I am feeling pretty crazy right now. I filed for temporary custody of my granddaughter yesterday. She is 10 months old and I never even considered raising another child. I am filled with worry for my daughter and fear of the future. I d...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It's called .. my life is easier when you're in jail! LOL He goes to court today. I'm going out of town. Why does this feel all too familiar????

maire rua · maire rua

Yes, I have reached bottom and am hoping to get to a face to face meeting this week. Yes the ex-A has reached havoc in my life yet again. On saturday last while in charge of our thirteen year old son, he threw him out of his jeep in the middle of a 6500 acre estate, with woods, lakes etc and Patrick was missing f...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Hello ((((friends)))) Had a revelation about myself this morning I thought I would share.Might help someone else. It's this whole 'codependency' thing.I know that word is thrown around alot and some people think it does not even exist.Here's the Miriam Webster definition.......

mama_nz · mama_nz

Email: 'if you feel like it please call me at work' Phone: 'Can you talk?' 'No.' Text message: 'I just want to see where we are at, is it over?' ?!@!#$%??? Hello? What planet is he on?? 'It feels like it's over but I still love you, is it over?' I reply &...

albertarose · albertarose

Sometimes I want to crawl into a shell and never get out. My A and I are working on our relationship/marriage and at times I feel very torn, like I am caught in the middle and I have to choose, but feel I shouldn't have to choose. A few weeks ago my A and I were in our counseling session and I found out ther...

mrshunter · mrshunter

Hi! I am glad that I found this site. I read some of the posts, and finally don't feel alone. Someone else knows what I am going through. I am 8 1/2 months pregnant, and contemplating leaving my husband. I dont know how much more foolishness I can take. I never want to go home if I know he's there, be...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Do not choose bad friends. Do not choose persons of low habits. Select good friends. Be discriminating. Choose the best. -Dhammapada 78 I hadn't any clue about friendships when I came here. But automatically, I realized y'all were friends. You cared. And I hadn't any idea why. If you kn...

java · java

I haven't posted on the message board in a long time, but it is a great tool to use. I'm currently unable to get into the chatroom which has become one of my main tools next to utilizing my home group and sponsor. I've been in al-anon for some time now and I never grow weary of hearing another sh...

Maria123 · Maria123

Just when you thought I wasn't listening (ha ha ha) but I remembered. Today is Tiger's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope y'all join me in wishing her a very happy one. Love ya Sarah, Maria

Demilas · Demilas

HELLO OLD FRIEND! HELLO OLD FRIEND: I'VE COME TO VISIT ONCE AGAIN. I LOVE TO SEE YOU SUFFER MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND SOCIALLY. I WANT TO MAKE YOU RESTLESS SO YOU CAN NEVER RELAX. I WANT YOU TO BE JUMPY, NERVOUS, AND ANXIOUS. I WANT YOU TO BE CONFUSED AND DEPRESSED SO THAT YOU CAN'T THINK C...

TryingToCope · TryingToCope

Hi everyone! I'll start with a little info on myself. I'm 24, self employed (cleaning service) mom to 3 wonderful children. They are 7, 5, and 3. older 2 from previous relationship, 3yr old from current. We live in Sunny Central Florida. Going way back.....I had to grow up pretty fast,...

Leetle · Leetle

Any feedback on this is appreciated. My hope is to either read this to him or mail it to him. He is currently in jail. Dear T, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I know this is a bad time, but this is something I need to tell you. We have been threw quite a bit (I realize now from the very beginning of our r...

QOD · QOD

My AH left my house at 4:00 on Monday afternoon. Leaving for good. He was supposed to go to his sister's in Arkansas, a 14 hour drive from here. He loaded up his clothes, his car onto his trailer, hooked it to his truck & off he went. I suspected that he hadn't left town yet. I thought that i...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I was having lunch with a group from class and we talked about going out for a drink when the class was over. I said that I rarely drank because my husband was an alcoholic. Everyone was kinda quiet, then one asked me if he was the kind of alcoholic that was sober or the kind that was still drinking. I said he w...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am now in a place where I see the A lied from day one of our relationship. When I met him he had a suspended license for a DUI. He never disclosed that to me. He lied about his exgirlfriend (he sung that she was the drug abuser). He lied about why he left his last apartment. I am sure they got fed up with his a...

jewely · jewely

i knew just by the way the keys were laid that he would not be coming back tonight. they were sitting on the desk atop a piece of white paper, as if to say....., i won't be back and he wasn't. he did call though, and, knew by the tone of his voice that this would be a two day or a three day or a week binge. h...

evey · evey

Hello All, AH is gone to detox and then to rehab for a month. The process to get into detox and rehab is enough for anyone to drink/drug, LOL. I am looking forward to a good nights sleep and some peaceful days. I am really working on the one day at a time, no projecting, no expectations. He is safe tonight, di...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, As I'm recovering I notice more and more people are dropping out of my life, and this is scary. My sister tried to make me talk about a family issue that I don't want to discuss. She was so insistant. I ended up walking out rather than argue with her. I felt I did the right thing. But no...

Leetle · Leetle

Well my A b/f got one month taken off of his sentence today, which means he still has at least one more month left. He meanwhile was sure he was getting out today and wanted me to go to his court date. What makes matters extremely complicated for me is that I work where he goes to court. That is a whole othe...

mama_nz · mama_nz

This song (although it's Britney Spears) has been stuck in my head lately: Baby, can’t you see I’m calling A guy like you Should wear a warning It’s dangerous I’m fallin’ There’s no escape I can’t hide I need a hit Baby, give me it You’re dangerous I’m lovin’ it Too high Can’t come down Losing my head S...

Wilted · Wilted

I just can't do this anymore. I'm packing my bags and going back to my hometown on Friday. I just can't keep living this way....which is not living at all to me. My AH is a good man when not drinking, but he drinks every day and I cannot depend on him to follow through on anything he says to me, s...

kdk31760 · kdk31760

I need to find a way to kick an alcohol problem that has been a part of my life for over twenty years. The reason I do not fit the stereotype is I am not abusive when I drink, I have had no DUI's, I have not lost a job due to drinking and am in a marraige full of love and respect. The problem is I drink every day a...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"Critism is often the sincerest form of flattery. We are all subject to it at times if we do anything at all. When criticism does arise, and before you build up a first rate resentment, think first--who is it that criticizes? What is the motive behind it? Is it constructive or just plain antagonis...

meagain · meagain

I would really appreciate a online sponsor. Just the every day "stressors" get me down! Not really having problem with "A" son-I am a "people-pleaser" with my Adult children-and I get tired of it. I have 3 sons-32/33/34. Now I know "a son's a son-till he...

AliveandRecovering · AliveandRecovering

Hey All, I'm so glad that I found this board

Right now I'm stuck in a valley

I got married over a month ago and moved quite a distance from my family. I knew that this time would be hard, but the forknowledge of that hasn't eased my feelings. I've been in /AlateenAl Anon...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) In living with an A and trying to have a full harmonious life it can sure cause the boundary lines to get fuzzy. My boundary lines have gotten criss-crossed. So I'm going back to the drawing board and re-teaching myself what a boundary is. What is my property line and what is my A...

Rora · Rora

My AH is gone. That's sad. For me. For him. For our son. But the shift I am already noticing in myself is something I couldn't have predicted. How ironic. The AH's wife (me), who has been queen of manipulation trying to predict the outcomes, found a gift in the outcome when she stopped...

barisax · barisax

This may be premature, but... I think I may be in the beginning stages of a relationship. As I've shared here before, it has been a long time, and I've only had one "real" relationship in my life which resulted in a decade long marriage and ultimately, divorce. At my last f2f meeti...

nmike · nmike

Hi friends, I haven't posted in awhile. My AHsober keeps his distance. When he does call it of course is all about him - what he has done, what he wants to buy, how busy he is helping everyone else. We are taking a trip tomorrow to see our son in the military. Long trip in the car but I think that our son nee...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

It takes about ten years to get used to how old you are. --Unknown If it is hard to adjust to our age. How much harder it must be to realize we can't even run our own life with any degree of competence. Until we get used to that idea we will keep having living troubles. Accepting our incompetence doesn&...

IceLady · IceLady

Hi everyone. I am new here. Just dropped my alkoholic ex and my fathers son off in rehab few hours ago. Hope he will get better now, months of work ahead of us...both of us. He will be in rehab for at least 2 months. And I am starting my al-anon work.

Btw I am 27 years and have a 5 year old son, and we a...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I haven't been around in quite a while. I pop in and read some, but I haven't done much else. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out what my HP wants of me, because following is just getting so confusing. My AH is out again. He has graduated from just making me...

lilms · lilms

Friends, A dear, wonderful, sweet, kind, gentle shining light has gone out. On January 26th a wonderful man from our community went missing. He was a fierce fighter for the disenfranchised in our community. They found his body yesterday. Please say a prayer for his family, friends, those he work...

lmt123 · lmt123

((((((((Dear Friends)))))))) I just wanted to say that I'm still here, although I've not been into chat very much lately. I'm working on ME, working on taking care of MY future, which means that changes are happening. I'm in the middle of making some serious life changes, regar...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello all, My father had to do a recovery on my puter and I lost some Java files, and I am lost. Cannot get into chat or anything like that. Luckily, My daughter is coming this weekend to fix things for me. She is 15 and soooo smart. No common sense, the nut didn't fall too far from the tree, lol, at least t...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I read in a book Codependant No More (can't find it, lost it in the house) about the many ways that a person can be codependant or think of codependancy. I thought I was codependant because I was so dependant on the alcoholic. Dependant on the alcoholic=COdependant. Made sense to me. So my whole thi...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Well, I keep feeling different about being alone now that my A moved out. He feels like I am pushing our relationship away. Maybe I am. Maybe I am learning to lean more on myself and especially God now that I do not have the chaos and 2 walking time bombs living under the same roof. Sometimes I wonder, eve...

kitty · kitty

Sick how I wake up crying & won't talk or reach out to anyone. It is most often when I am the worst off, depression wise, that I won't utter a word to anyone, when I need to the most. That is part of the nature of depression - isolating, desperately, alone. I love this Board & encourage us...

still searching · still searching

Hi everyone, I am glad to have found this board. My husband is a alcoholic and I certainly have seen the progression over the last bouple of years. I think the last year or so it has been progressing quickly. He now drinks every day and starts early in the morning on his off days, drinking straight whisk...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

I wrote these poems after coming back from this retreat. It was my spiritual awakening so to speak. I am enlightened and the speaker told me what I needed to hear and I am grateful for that and being able to go..... Here are the poems Awakening from the dark I just want you to see my dreams today They are wha...

Fifi · Fifi

Found this on another website and it spoke loudly to me...thought I'd share it. Love, Fifi February 21, 2007 Choosing Not To Be A Target Emotional Attacks Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did t...

QOD · QOD

I am still struggling w/the whole detachment thing. All through this ordeal w/my AH, I have concentrated on just getting through....surviving each day. I have worked so hard to Let Go and Let God. He did his thing and I did mine w/the kids. Now that he is gone, it is like I am missing that part of my l...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, My vision has gone on vacation again. I wish I could keep up with the posts, it's just too painful. I hope you all are well and I will catch up as soon as I can. Jennifer

jewely · jewely

i heard a psychiatrist say........., ''it is not the alcohol that causes these people to murder, raped, beat, molestand commit crimes. it is what is inside of themselves that causes this behavior.'' talked to my brother tonight, and, he asked, ''how do you handle your hu...

Rora · Rora

I am struggling today with keeping my mouth shut. I feel angry at my AH. Even though he's not drinking since October. I am tense and irritable when he is around me. He is disengaged from me and that's as hurtful to me as if he were spewing out insults. He wakes up. Doesn't say anything to me o...

Newme · Newme

Hiya roomies,I am finally starting to live and let live…

I just came back from a lovely meeting, one of the sweetest old timers was sharing of letting live…I learned to don’t use the word "should" …when I say you should do this or that…the message I pass on is that they are not good enough as...

maria13 · maria13

Hi everyone , i walked out on my husband of 15 years in october he had a bad alcohol problem and eventually after many years of mental abuse he turned violent , i left for my own sanity and my two kids sake he has begged me to give him another chance but i cant , i declared myself homeless with the council and a...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I put myself out there on Match.com looking for someone to have as a good, casual relationship, to start with because I was really feeling left out with friends being the only one on my own. It would be nice to have someone to take to cook outs and stuff like that. I feel like such a fifth wheel otherwise....

thumper · thumper

New here and so many questions and worries. My husband admitted to being an alcoholic (with no provacation on my part) three weeks ago and has been going to AA meetings ever since. He hasn't drank as far as I'm aware and I truly believe he did this for himself, not for me or our children. This is th...

evey · evey

Howdy, Just an update, my Ah is still here. He will not leave. His parents will not let him stay with them( how convenient).Quite frankly I think letting him so I could pull my end together would be beneficial to everyone, including him. Contacted a lawyer, told me not to leave if I felt "sa...

QOD · QOD

If you read my post from yesterday and last week....here is the latest: My AH did leave yesterday. He was gone by the time I got off of work @ 4:00. He loaded up his clothes, put his car on his trailer and hooked that to his truck and off he went. He got my yard done, finished up some projects around my house...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi all, yes I am expected to stick my head in the alcoholic sandbox again, last saturday, my youngest son got into an altercation with another boy and bloodied his nose after being hit in the stomach. No not the end of it, the boy's parents are baying for more blood, and are preparing to make this a who...

fozzie · fozzie

I was doing well not too long ago - then we had the big mess-up at my parents' house two weeks ago when they saw my husband staggering around their kitchen drunk on a Sunday morning. The outcome was a lot of "talks" that I probably should never have initiated, because frankly, I don'...

Gailey · Gailey

Let me first begin by saying my husband is not an A. I have been reading alot of posts today about wives living with a sober A. I am not living with a sober A but I feel I need to apply the same principals to my marriage. We are empty nesters and my oldest son is the A that has gotten the focus the past year. This se...

Diva · Diva

For as many years as I can remember, I have wanted a Mustang. The car, not the horse....Well, today I went out and bought myself a gorgeous dark metallic blue one with two wide white stripes all the way up the trunk lid, over the top, and down the hood. THis is a classy machine. I spent my own money. Didn'...

Fifi · Fifi

hi all i know i have not been posting much and i miss you all the times i am here and respond and read have continued to help me on my healing path i have so many thing to share in a day...so many questions... but i don't come here and start a topic. partly because my boyfriend is home a lot and i don't have much pr...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Being Right Recovery is not about being right; it's about allowing ourselves to be who we are and accepting others as they are. That concept can be difficult for many of us if we have lived in systems that functioned on the "right/wrong" justice scale. The person who was right was okay;...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Caught AH husband in a lie (Preview) (((Hello Everyone))) I have been having a problem letting go of something that I found out over the weekend. My husband and I have been back together for a few months after months of seperation. While we were seperated I went out a few times with my girlfriends. It wasn't like I was going out to tr...	JulieLynn	7	686	Feb 26, 2007 by Diva
	prayer needed for a friend (Preview) Please say a quick prayer for my friends family, sorry cannot give ya the details. Josey	jrtjosey	16	1096	Feb 26, 2007 by hersh
	Granchild (Preview) I am new to Al-Anon and couldn't get to a meeting tonight. I am feeling pretty crazy right now. I filed for temporary custody of my granddaughter yesterday. She is 10 months old and I never even considered raising another child. I am filled with worry for my daughter and fear of the future. I d...	GrandmaNellie	6	428	Feb 26, 2007 by Rita G
	I'm writing a song... (Preview) It's called .. my life is easier when you're in jail! LOL He goes to court today. I'm going out of town. Why does this feel all too familiar????	carolinagirl	4	367	Feb 26, 2007 by Sallen
	hoping to get to f2f meeting this week (Preview) Yes, I have reached bottom and am hoping to get to a face to face meeting this week. Yes the ex-A has reached havoc in my life yet again. On saturday last while in charge of our thirteen year old son, he threw him out of his jeep in the middle of a 6500 acre estate, with woods, lakes etc and Patrick was missing f...	maire rua	1	328	Feb 26, 2007 by babysteps
	Fear...humility....faith (Preview) Hello ((((friends)))) Had a revelation about myself this morning I thought I would share.Might help someone else. It's this whole 'codependency' thing.I know that word is thrown around alot and some people think it does not even exist.Here's the Miriam Webster definition.......	drucilla06	5	524	Feb 26, 2007 by razoredge
	Another transmission from planet alcoholic (Preview) Email: 'if you feel like it please call me at work' Phone: 'Can you talk?' 'No.' Text message: 'I just want to see where we are at, is it over?' ?!@!#$%??? Hello? What planet is he on?? 'It feels like it's over but I still love you, is it over?' I reply &...	mama_nz	4	431	Feb 26, 2007 by bobump
	I feel torn between my A and family/friends (Preview) Sometimes I want to crawl into a shell and never get out. My A and I are working on our relationship/marriage and at times I feel very torn, like I am caught in the middle and I have to choose, but feel I shouldn't have to choose. A few weeks ago my A and I were in our counseling session and I found out ther...	albertarose	5	471	Feb 25, 2007 by Friendofyours
	New- need some advice/suggestions (Preview) Hi! I am glad that I found this site. I read some of the posts, and finally don't feel alone. Someone else knows what I am going through. I am 8 1/2 months pregnant, and contemplating leaving my husband. I dont know how much more foolishness I can take. I never want to go home if I know he's there, be...	mrshunter	8	588	Feb 25, 2007 by puzzle
	The next time someone says something about your "friends"... (Preview) Do not choose bad friends. Do not choose persons of low habits. Select good friends. Be discriminating. Choose the best. -Dhammapada 78 I hadn't any clue about friendships when I came here. But automatically, I realized y'all were friends. You cared. And I hadn't any idea why. If you kn...	Tiger2006	5	942	Feb 25, 2007 by JulieLynn
	letting Go and letting God (Preview) I haven't posted on the message board in a long time, but it is a great tool to use. I'm currently unable to get into the chatroom which has become one of my main tools next to utilizing my home group and sponsor. I've been in al-anon for some time now and I never grow weary of hearing another sh...	java	3	663	Feb 25, 2007 by carosie
	Who's the Birthday Girl?????????? (Preview) Just when you thought I wasn't listening (ha ha ha) but I remembered. Today is Tiger's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope y'all join me in wishing her a very happy one. Love ya Sarah, Maria	Maria123	12	510	Feb 25, 2007 by MrBlue42
	Oldie but Goodie (Preview) HELLO OLD FRIEND! HELLO OLD FRIEND: I'VE COME TO VISIT ONCE AGAIN. I LOVE TO SEE YOU SUFFER MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND SOCIALLY. I WANT TO MAKE YOU RESTLESS SO YOU CAN NEVER RELAX. I WANT YOU TO BE JUMPY, NERVOUS, AND ANXIOUS. I WANT YOU TO BE CONFUSED AND DEPRESSED SO THAT YOU CAN'T THINK C...	Demilas	2	405	Feb 25, 2007 by Leetle
	New Here...My Story (Preview) Hi everyone! I'll start with a little info on myself. I'm 24, self employed (cleaning service) mom to 3 wonderful children. They are 7, 5, and 3. older 2 from previous relationship, 3yr old from current. We live in Sunny Central Florida. Going way back.....I had to grow up pretty fast,...	TryingToCope	3	385	Feb 25, 2007 by TryingToCope
	Letter to my A (Preview) Any feedback on this is appreciated. My hope is to either read this to him or mail it to him. He is currently in jail. Dear T, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I know this is a bad time, but this is something I need to tell you. We have been threw quite a bit (I realize now from the very beginning of our r...	Leetle	8	495	Feb 24, 2007 by Leetle
	Just as I suspected...... hmmm. (Preview) My AH left my house at 4:00 on Monday afternoon. Leaving for good. He was supposed to go to his sister's in Arkansas, a 14 hour drive from here. He loaded up his clothes, his car onto his trailer, hooked it to his truck & off he went. I suspected that he hadn't left town yet. I thought that i...	QOD	8	1079	Feb 24, 2007 by Kim65
	It just slipped out (Preview) I was having lunch with a group from class and we talked about going out for a drink when the class was over. I said that I rarely drank because my husband was an alcoholic. Everyone was kinda quiet, then one asked me if he was the kind of alcoholic that was sober or the kind that was still drinking. I said he w...	RainyJamie	15	691	Feb 24, 2007 by TryingToCope
	Reality hurts (Preview) I am now in a place where I see the A lied from day one of our relationship. When I met him he had a suspended license for a DUI. He never disclosed that to me. He lied about his exgirlfriend (he sung that she was the drug abuser). He lied about why he left his last apartment. I am sure they got fed up with his a...	maresie2	8	521	Feb 24, 2007 by Kim65
	i knew just by the way the keys were laid (Preview) i knew just by the way the keys were laid that he would not be coming back tonight. they were sitting on the desk atop a piece of white paper, as if to say....., i won't be back and he wasn't. he did call though, and, knew by the tone of his voice that this would be a two day or a three day or a week binge. h...	jewely	6	488	Feb 24, 2007 by jewely
	room to breathe (Preview) Hello All, AH is gone to detox and then to rehab for a month. The process to get into detox and rehab is enough for anyone to drink/drug, LOL. I am looking forward to a good nights sleep and some peaceful days. I am really working on the one day at a time, no projecting, no expectations. He is safe tonight, di...	evey	3	370	Feb 24, 2007 by aunitedway
	changing every day (Preview) Hi everyone, As I'm recovering I notice more and more people are dropping out of my life, and this is scary. My sister tried to make me talk about a family issue that I don't want to discuss. She was so insistant. I ended up walking out rather than argue with her. I felt I did the right thing. But no...	annmarie	3	331	Feb 24, 2007 by sissy
	What a morning... (Preview) Well my A b/f got one month taken off of his sentence today, which means he still has at least one more month left. He meanwhile was sure he was getting out today and wanted me to go to his court date. What makes matters extremely complicated for me is that I work where he goes to court. That is a whole othe...	Leetle	7	484	Feb 24, 2007 by Leetle
	Toxic (Preview) This song (although it's Britney Spears) has been stuck in my head lately: Baby, can’t you see I’m calling A guy like you Should wear a warning It’s dangerous I’m fallin’ There’s no escape I can’t hide I need a hit Baby, give me it You’re dangerous I’m lovin’ it Too high Can’t come down Losing my head S...	mama_nz	1	270	Feb 24, 2007 by Leetle
	Don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not but... (Preview) I just can't do this anymore. I'm packing my bags and going back to my hometown on Friday. I just can't keep living this way....which is not living at all to me. My AH is a good man when not drinking, but he drinks every day and I cannot depend on him to follow through on anything he says to me, s...	Wilted	11	574	Feb 24, 2007 by Moon
	Don't fit the stereotype (Preview) I need to find a way to kick an alcohol problem that has been a part of my life for over twenty years. The reason I do not fit the stereotype is I am not abusive when I drink, I have had no DUI's, I have not lost a job due to drinking and am in a marraige full of love and respect. The problem is I drink every day a...	kdk31760	9	600	Feb 23, 2007 by ZiggyDoodles
	New prospectives on flattery--surprise! (Preview) "Critism is often the sincerest form of flattery. We are all subject to it at times if we do anything at all. When criticism does arise, and before you build up a first rate resentment, think first--who is it that criticizes? What is the motive behind it? Is it constructive or just plain antagonis...	Tiger2006	6	583	Feb 23, 2007 by CJ
	online sponsor (Preview) I would really appreciate a online sponsor. Just the every day "stressors" get me down! Not really having problem with "A" son-I am a "people-pleaser" with my Adult children-and I get tired of it. I have 3 sons-32/33/34. Now I know "a son's a son-till he...	meagain	1	301	Feb 23, 2007 by Diva
	A Newbie's venting (Preview) Hey All, I'm so glad that I found this board Right now I'm stuck in a valley I got married over a month ago and moved quite a distance from my family. I knew that this time would be hard, but the forknowledge of that hasn't eased my feelings. I've been in /AlateenAl Anon...	AliveandRecovering	7	487	Feb 23, 2007 by aunitedway
	The Boundaries are becoming clearer (Preview) (((MIP Family))) In living with an A and trying to have a full harmonious life it can sure cause the boundary lines to get fuzzy. My boundary lines have gotten criss-crossed. So I'm going back to the drawing board and re-teaching myself what a boundary is. What is my property line and what is my A...	twinmom2	4	577	Feb 23, 2007 by Rita G
	My AH is gone, already there's been a shift... (Preview) My AH is gone. That's sad. For me. For him. For our son. But the shift I am already noticing in myself is something I couldn't have predicted. How ironic. The AH's wife (me), who has been queen of manipulation trying to predict the outcomes, found a gift in the outcome when she stopped...	Rora	4	456	Feb 23, 2007 by mama_nz
	Unknown Territory (Preview) This may be premature, but... I think I may be in the beginning stages of a relationship. As I've shared here before, it has been a long time, and I've only had one "real" relationship in my life which resulted in a decade long marriage and ultimately, divorce. At my last f2f meeti...	barisax	10	369	Feb 23, 2007 by Rita G
	I hope I can stay out of the disease...mine and his (Preview) Hi friends, I haven't posted in awhile. My AHsober keeps his distance. When he does call it of course is all about him - what he has done, what he wants to buy, how busy he is helping everyone else. We are taking a trip tomorrow to see our son in the military. Long trip in the car but I think that our son nee...	nmike	1	392	Feb 23, 2007 by Leetle
	Anyone else here still apply for God's job? Anyone? Anyone? (Preview) It takes about ten years to get used to how old you are. --Unknown If it is hard to adjust to our age. How much harder it must be to realize we can't even run our own life with any degree of competence. Until we get used to that idea we will keep having living troubles. Accepting our incompetence doesn&...	Tiger2006	8	514	Feb 23, 2007 by Christy
	Hi I am new (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new here. Just dropped my alkoholic ex and my fathers son off in rehab few hours ago. Hope he will get better now, months of work ahead of us...both of us. He will be in rehab for at least 2 months. And I am starting my al-anon work. Btw I am 27 years and have a 5 year old son, and we a...	IceLady	8	526	Feb 23, 2007 by IceLady
	Confusion (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't been around in quite a while. I pop in and read some, but I haven't done much else. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out what my HP wants of me, because following is just getting so confusing. My AH is out again. He has graduated from just making me...	Jeannie	6	488	Feb 23, 2007 by Diva
	Rest in Peace Mark, asking for prayers for his family (Preview) Friends, A dear, wonderful, sweet, kind, gentle shining light has gone out. On January 26th a wonderful man from our community went missing. He was a fierce fighter for the disenfranchised in our community. They found his body yesterday. Please say a prayer for his family, friends, those he work...	lilms	10	548	Feb 23, 2007 by Gailey
	healing... (Preview) ((((((((Dear Friends)))))))) I just wanted to say that I'm still here, although I've not been into chat very much lately. I'm working on ME, working on taking care of MY future, which means that changes are happening. I'm in the middle of making some serious life changes, regar...	lmt123	5	417	Feb 23, 2007 by aunitedway
	stuck in the forum would love some replies--lonely (Preview) Hello all, My father had to do a recovery on my puter and I lost some Java files, and I am lost. Cannot get into chat or anything like that. Luckily, My daughter is coming this weekend to fix things for me. She is 15 and soooo smart. No common sense, the nut didn't fall too far from the tree, lol, at least t...	hippietrippiechick	7	468	Feb 23, 2007 by lin0606
	How am I for codependant? (Preview) I read in a book Codependant No More (can't find it, lost it in the house) about the many ways that a person can be codependant or think of codependancy. I thought I was codependant because I was so dependant on the alcoholic. Dependant on the alcoholic=COdependant. Made sense to me. So my whole thi...	RainyJamie	10	759	Feb 23, 2007 by RainyJamie
	feels like major decision time---HELP (Preview) Well, I keep feeling different about being alone now that my A moved out. He feels like I am pushing our relationship away. Maybe I am. Maybe I am learning to lean more on myself and especially God now that I do not have the chaos and 2 walking time bombs living under the same roof. Sometimes I wonder, eve...	hippietrippiechick	1	354	Feb 23, 2007 by AndiLynn
	I woke up crying - depression & isolating (Preview) Sick how I wake up crying & won't talk or reach out to anyone. It is most often when I am the worst off, depression wise, that I won't utter a word to anyone, when I need to the most. That is part of the nature of depression - isolating, desperately, alone. I love this Board & encourage us...	kitty	10	978	Feb 22, 2007 by Maria123
	new here (Preview) Hi everyone, I am glad to have found this board. My husband is a alcoholic and I certainly have seen the progression over the last bouple of years. I think the last year or so it has been progressing quickly. He now drinks every day and starts early in the morning on his off days, drinking straight whisk...	still searching	6	366	Feb 22, 2007 by Maria123
	I went on an alanon retreat this weekend and it was awesome!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I wrote these poems after coming back from this retreat. It was my spiritual awakening so to speak. I am enlightened and the speaker told me what I needed to hear and I am grateful for that and being able to go..... Here are the poems Awakening from the dark I just want you to see my dreams today They are wha...	Lauren ashley	6	469	Feb 22, 2007 by just me
	detachment (Preview) Found this on another website and it spoke loudly to me...thought I'd share it. Love, Fifi February 21, 2007 Choosing Not To Be A Target Emotional Attacks Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did t...	Fifi	3	315	Feb 22, 2007 by aunitedway
	Detaching....still struggling....trying to be strong. (Preview) I am still struggling w/the whole detachment thing. All through this ordeal w/my AH, I have concentrated on just getting through....surviving each day. I have worked so hard to Let Go and Let God. He did his thing and I did mine w/the kids. Now that he is gone, it is like I am missing that part of my l...	QOD	5	484	Feb 22, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Be back asap (Preview) Hello Everyone, My vision has gone on vacation again. I wish I could keep up with the posts, it's just too painful. I hope you all are well and I will catch up as soon as I can. Jennifer	Jennifer	3	396	Feb 22, 2007 by debilyn
	the drinking was never the issue (Preview) i heard a psychiatrist say........., ''it is not the alcohol that causes these people to murder, raped, beat, molestand commit crimes. it is what is inside of themselves that causes this behavior.'' talked to my brother tonight, and, he asked, ''how do you handle your hu...	jewely	3	476	Feb 22, 2007 by debilyn
	Having a hard time with my non-drinking AH (Preview) I am struggling today with keeping my mouth shut. I feel angry at my AH. Even though he's not drinking since October. I am tense and irritable when he is around me. He is disengaged from me and that's as hurtful to me as if he were spewing out insults. He wakes up. Doesn't say anything to me o...	Rora	6	435	Feb 22, 2007 by maresie2
	Live and let live... (Preview) Hiya roomies,I am finally starting to live and let live… I just came back from a lovely meeting, one of the sweetest old timers was sharing of letting live…I learned to don’t use the word "should" …when I say you should do this or that…the message I pass on is that they are not good enough as...	Newme	6	340	Feb 22, 2007 by maresie2
	CAN ANYONE HELP ME? (Preview) Hi everyone , i walked out on my husband of 15 years in october he had a bad alcohol problem and eventually after many years of mental abuse he turned violent , i left for my own sanity and my two kids sake he has begged me to give him another chance but i cant , i declared myself homeless with the council and a...	maria13	16	648	Feb 22, 2007 by maresie2
	omg this is soo funny and scary (Preview) I put myself out there on Match.com looking for someone to have as a good, casual relationship, to start with because I was really feeling left out with friends being the only one on my own. It would be nice to have someone to take to cook outs and stuff like that. I feel like such a fifth wheel otherwise....	jrtjosey	11	868	Feb 21, 2007 by aunitedway
	New here (Preview) New here and so many questions and worries. My husband admitted to being an alcoholic (with no provacation on my part) three weeks ago and has been going to AA meetings ever since. He hasn't drank as far as I'm aware and I truly believe he did this for himself, not for me or our children. This is th...	thumper	10	556	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	day 5 update..he's still here (Preview) Howdy, Just an update, my Ah is still here. He will not leave. His parents will not let him stay with them( how convenient).Quite frankly I think letting him so I could pull my end together would be beneficial to everyone, including him. Contacted a lawyer, told me not to leave if I felt "sa...	evey	6	464	Feb 21, 2007 by evey
	AH IS GONE!!! (Preview) If you read my post from yesterday and last week....here is the latest: My AH did leave yesterday. He was gone by the time I got off of work @ 4:00. He loaded up his clothes, put his car on his trailer and hooked that to his truck and off he went. He got my yard done, finished up some projects around my house...	QOD	9	553	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Alcoholic sandbox (Preview) Hi all, yes I am expected to stick my head in the alcoholic sandbox again, last saturday, my youngest son got into an altercation with another boy and bloodied his nose after being hit in the stomach. No not the end of it, the boy's parents are baying for more blood, and are preparing to make this a who...	maire rua	4	376	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	How many steps backward can I take???? (Preview) I was doing well not too long ago - then we had the big mess-up at my parents' house two weeks ago when they saw my husband staggering around their kitchen drunk on a Sunday morning. The outcome was a lot of "talks" that I probably should never have initiated, because frankly, I don'...	fozzie	7	484	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Applying Alanon principals to my non-A husband (Preview) Let me first begin by saying my husband is not an A. I have been reading alot of posts today about wives living with a sober A. I am not living with a sober A but I feel I need to apply the same principals to my marriage. We are empty nesters and my oldest son is the A that has gotten the focus the past year. This se...	Gailey	6	1604	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	As usual, it's all about HIM!!! (Preview) For as many years as I can remember, I have wanted a Mustang. The car, not the horse....Well, today I went out and bought myself a gorgeous dark metallic blue one with two wide white stripes all the way up the trunk lid, over the top, and down the hood. THis is a classy machine. I spent my own money. Didn'...	Diva	19	981	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	isolating (Preview) hi all i know i have not been posting much and i miss you all the times i am here and respond and read have continued to help me on my healing path i have so many thing to share in a day...so many questions... but i don't come here and start a topic. partly because my boyfriend is home a lot and i don't have much pr...	Fifi	6	441	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Do you want to be right or happy? (And why can't I be both?) (Preview) Being Right Recovery is not about being right; it's about allowing ourselves to be who we are and accepting others as they are. That concept can be difficult for many of us if we have lived in systems that functioned on the "right/wrong" justice scale. The person who was right was okay;...	Tiger2006	4	451	Feb 21, 2007 by lilms
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.