The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Twenty years ago I met my very good friend.The first time she and her husband came to my house for dinner, they raided my liquor cabinet and got drunk.The second time they came to my house, they brought their own alcohol and got drunk.The third time they came to my house I set my boundaries.I told them that I believed they were alcoholic and while I enjoyed their company, they could no longer get drunk in my presence.This made them very angry.They said they were not alcoholics.They refused to speak to me for year.After a while we became good friends again and the friendship has persisted to this day because they respect my wishes and appear sober for the few hours we are together.
The wife’s parents, grandparents on both sides, and siblings are alcoholic too.
Sunday night I went to her house for the husband’s birthday party.Her entire family was there and everyone was drinking copiously.At one point yet another glass of wine was being handed to the wife and she refused it.She said that she had a 2-hour drive in the morning for work and she needed to watch how much she drank.Her entire family actually began clapping like that was a wonderful trick that she was performing.
seems to me, well..... is it possible they were recognizing her efforts to take care of herself (and those riding home with her) and it just looked odd as more people in the room took part in the clapping?
even more so, is it also possible she was trying to do what was right., but her family and friends ....didnt see that? ((((ditto)))) i know you did. at least there for a seconds... (i know) you saw it this way.
*perhaps you have made a positive effect on her at some level.back when you set the boundaries, the fact of your sticking with them. just ..perhaps.... with your presense at the party., she got to thinking., "look at ditto... all strong minded and looking great!!! i want that for me." * i would want to feel to hope and pray that it stayed with her and she is thinking more now about how and what she could do to make her life better (without getting drunk, or maybe even in time without alcohol.)
could be. right? you had the courage to change. maybe she feels she can too. even if its at a different pace or even a different way than you. its possible. right?
this is just me. i take the worst and try to make it look better. feel better. see the under of it if its upsidedown. somehow there is always some "stuff" happening .... i choose to find the good in it. if i cant, i turn from it.
keep looking uP keep moving forward. loveya (((Ditto)))
Sometimes I wonder... if everyone had a troupe of people applauding for them every time they made a good decision, would the world be a drastically better place?
. at least there for a seconds... (i know) you saw it this way.
back when you set the boundaries, the fact of your sticking with them. just ..perhaps.... with your presense at the party., 
she got to thinking., "look at ditto... all strong minded and looking great!!! i want that for me." * i would want to feel to hope and pray that it stayed with her and she is thinking more now about how and what she could do to make her life better (without getting drunk, or maybe even in time without alcohol.) 
right? you had the courage to change. maybe she feels she can too. even if its at a different pace or even a different way than you. its possible. right? 
keep moving forward. loveya (((Ditto)))