The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In two hours I am going to my first real f2f al-anon meeting. I dread it so much, my stomach is in a twist and heart pounding. I am trying to stay leveled and calm. Because if let myself get into a spin I will end up feeling so overwhelmed that I will not go. But I really want to go. Specially because I have been thinking of why I need to go and sometimes I end up thinking --why should I go?. That I am not living with my AH and probably will not again. Even though he is in rehab now. So why should I bother doing all this work if it will not help me get him back again in a healthy way. And I fight these thought by thinking that I need it for me, cuz I am sick myself. And it will help me have a healthy relationship with others in the furture. Well anyway my mom was asking why I am going to this meeting, and if I was getting back with my AH. And it struck me...I need to go cuz I am still in a alkohollic relationship, we are still friends and very close. But one of the biggest reasons... is that we have a son together and I must do this for him too, cuz nomatter what happens he will always have an alcoholic father. And I cant support him and help him when time comes if I have not helped myself.
Well cross my fingers and hope I will have the courage to go thru the door.
I recall being apprehensive too. The thing is, after I got there I discovered I was very welcomed and wondered "what the heck was I fearing"? When I think about it now I still can't place my finger on what was so scary. What did I think they were going to do to me?
What I found was a group of kind, caring and supportive people. You don't have to talk, feel free to listen if that's what feels best. They will probably ask if there are any newcomers..and then welcome you. Our group passes around a sheet with the 12 steps and and traditions on it. We each read one step or tradition. You aren't required to. Feel free to pass it to the next person.
You will be given a Welcome Packet with some literature in it to take home. Also some phone numbers of fellow Alanoner's. That's about it..just sit back and relax and enjoy your meeting Hope this helped a bit .
Christy null
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Well I am back, and it went great. Felt really good and I am open to going again. Did not feel pressured or out of place. I even went to a double meeting, that is I went at 8 to the newby meeting and also the open meeting afterwards. And spoke out in both meetings about me and my problems and my relationship with my alcoholic. And that is a huge step for me with the little scared anxiety filled heart. And specially cuz I feel good after.
Well I am intent on going again next monday, I want this.
hope you've enjoyed the first meeting. now sometimes i go to several meetings. each group is very different & special in it's own way. It really is a way to start learning to focus on yourself. Carol
God give me strenght to see this thru.
