Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well, I have moved on to attorney number 4 .. we'll see how this goes. She was suppose to call me back last week and did not .. that is concerning to me. I want this DONE. I think she is seeing that a lot of mistakes have been made and that I have been sold down the river so to speak in the advice I have been give...

slowlearner · slowlearner

My husband is a very active alcoholic. But he does hold down a very good job. I've been married to him for 26 years. He drinks from the time he comes home from work til he goes to bed. And on the weekends - Friday night to Sunday night. He has recently started to get sicker, losing weight, no appetite, s...

astallaslions · astallaslions

I don't know what is harder, the fact that he is gone, or the fact that have so much catching up I have to do within my own life. I miss him everyday, and i know the biggest part of it is adjusting to a new routine, but I just hate it so much sometimes. I have to let go of the dreams of children and a home we would bu...

lookingup · lookingup

Now I've got to work this step I feel numb to everything it's like nothing wants to stick with me or sink in .i know that that's all from dealing and being so enmeshed in my abf life.ill be soo glad when my relief comes to me.today my abf is doing good and last nite he came home late but was sober best I could tel...

hotrod · hotrod

Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work. Step 12, has been posted to the step work board. Please share your ESH on the step so we can all grow. Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard...

lookingup · lookingup

I know I'mousting a lot but I have questions my abf asked to borrow my car and I said yes,he got me off gaurd I had said no this morning that I had no gas his car is on empty,he said he would be right back again I feel like he can talk me into about anything he is still gone said he would be right back it's been over a...

andromeda · andromeda

I had no expectations. His amends were an apology for the silent treatment and withdrawn behaviors. There was still a lot of blame shifting and excuses. At one point he said that he has to chide and tease our son because our son is an only child and doesn't have an older brother who can teach him that pe...

Tasha · Tasha

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I have been a stay at home mom since our first child was born 10 years ago. Prior to that I had a good job that I enjoyed. It was a big adjustment, staying home, but one that I have come to enjoy. I have treasured the time I am able to spend with my kids. I have also become very involved with a local charity, t...

confused_gf · confused_gf

I have been with my bf going on 3 years next month. I knew when we started that he was an alcoholic but I decided to give it a chance. I was also a drinker but quit a few months after we started dating. My papa just died of alcoholism and my bf's mom died of it too eight years ago. My bf had to watch what it was doing...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

I am done feeling sorry for myself, and allowing myself to take on the same bad attitude about life as my AH. Today I am remembering that I am a warrior of my life, and I will fight for my serenity and peace. I have been through enough situations to know that my HP has always brought me to a place of goodness an...

MissPiggy · MissPiggy

Hi, First time on an AA chat board. My husband likes to drink-he says he likes to drink because it tastes good. Most people I know like to drink but they don't drink everyday. When we were young, we went out to bars and drank and had fun. We've been married 23 years, but the last 5 years my husband has bee...

texasgal · texasgal

I've been in my new apt for a week. The apt turned out very nice it was completely remodeled with brand new fixtures and appliances. I've attended 2 meetings and I have kept in contact daily with my program friends. I start work Monday. Everything is going good. I've been thinking of my soon to be ex ah. I t...

lookingup · lookingup

I just got paid ,abf has no job he has been jobless for mths he had been going and going but no money I'm just finding out the truth of why he had been going a lot the ppl he was running with they were on meth I dunno about all of them but my bf hung with them he has been promising saying he has a job coming up but I don...

ilovecoach · ilovecoach

My first post. Encouraged by my best friend. Hiding from all other friends. And family. We have a quiet midwestern life. College town. Go team! My husband and I were high school sweethearts. We were college athletes. We married. So happy. So easy. 3 kids. Our last with serious health challenges. I sta...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I haven't posted in a few days. I am alone tonight so I thought it was time. My AH just left for the night "to get drunk". I am trying to stay out of it but it still burns me up that he has to leave the house to do this. Thought I would give a little background info on myself. I haven't looked at mys...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I find myself angry at my family and they don't really understand why, some of them don't even know at this point, and while I would really like to find a way to say what is wrong, I doubt my ability to get through to them what exactly my issue is. I live the farthest driving distance from them, I work 6-7 days...

Jville · Jville

I am just now coming out of years of living in denial about my daughter's alcoholism. I am attending AlAnon meetings and will ask for a Sponsor. In the meantime, here I am and asking.....although I can feel the truth of being Powerless... I'm also still holding onto ideas of how I need to control my th...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I love you all and thank you for being here. Because of bad weather, I have missed a couple of my f2f meetings, and b/c of other distractions, I haven't been able to visit here. As a result, I found myself slipping back into some of my distorted thinking. How easy it is to slip back into old habits. I reminde...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Just received my divorce papers from my husband. I have a lawyer but i guess things werent moving fast or good enough for him, so he retained his own and filed for divorce. Just received the papers In certified mail. He is in a big rush to get me out of the home.

watts · watts

Hi, So I went to my first al anon meeting tonight...or so I thought...since this is a small town, apparently the last Thursdays of the month are a joint AA/Alanon meeting for Birthdays. Walking in anyway, with encouragement, I sat through it all...and got all teary eyed once in a while. Here were alc...

Debb · Debb

I hurt my back digging up three bushes that husband didn't want to do. So he said he would help me food shop tomorrow. Well I thought maybe he would want to get it over and done with when he got home from work. He must have had a few before he got home, because he is accusing me of assaulting him by asking if h...

el-cee · el-cee

Great reading today, is one of my favourites and helps me detach. It talks about the slogan, live and let live. It tells us to live fully, happily with joy and at the same time allow others to live as they choose without criticism and judgement from us. If we live this way it stops us trying to control and st...

Katy · Katy

My husband was my first serious relationship I was 19 when we got married and he was 29, from the onset it was a volatile relationship, he was a chain smoker and an every night drinker, he was an engineer and very clever he never missed a days work even when he broke his foot I drove him in, he would totally ov...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive came to believe completely that alcoholism is a disease, a disease that affects the way everyone in the family thinks. The alcoholics distorted thinking is so easy to see, the nonsense they talk, black and white thinking, the poor mes, nobody loves me, its so unfair, the world is against me and its...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

My husband went into a 30 rehab in April, then was transferred to a 90 day, of which he didn't finish, he was asked to leave 30 days early due to an altercation. So, when he got out, he wasn't allowed home yet, I wanted to see him work his sobriety in the general public. Needless to say, he was not happy about t...

Katy · Katy

Good Morning Mip, So I am coming up one month away from my home and my feelings are very up and down, I am able to pop home here and there for anything I need and my husband and I are communicating as best we can, I am finding though that his thinking is all over the place and it feels like he is trying to manipula...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi All! Update on my AH and myself. He called last night and said he cannot progress if he talks to me more than once a week and sees me more than once every two weeks, because he can't focus on himself. He hasn't been able to move from his fourth step work which he started back sometime in June when we had no co...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

Good morning everyone! The good news is I have a temporary sponsor..which I'm really glad I do! F2F meetings are wonderful..I'm really enjoying them :) I'm however struggling a lot with boundaries. Along with those boundaries..balancing stuff my AM can't do for herself physically vs. stuff s...

Gleleni · Gleleni

So here goes my first post after putting up with alocoholic fiance for the the past 4 years... Found this message board today and thought maybe if I shared I could get some feedback since I really don't know how to handle my situation. Horrible night tonight..as usual. My fiance is perfect during the...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Sorry to bore you all . Talked to my lawyer and accountant Today ordered an appraisal on property but its not till end of august. i am very nervous of my ah moving home. I am trying not to project problems but he has been unpleasant toward me. we write notes or text any messages to each other. He mostly goes...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Hey all!! Just a quick hello

I've been going to bed early (SHOCK! HORROR!) because..I like to be awake and alert when I go for my little drives during the day lol. I'm taking it slowly, my car is big and sort of like driving a tank compared to what I learnt in so I go a little further each day running sense...

Temple · Temple

DDH, apparently. To put it more nicely, Husband who hasn't had a drink for decades and is so not into recovery. He told my sister he says he forgets to do things, but he's really just deliberately not doing them and then when I "nag" him he gets mad. Passive-aggressive and proud of it. Please...

blessed · blessed

Even though I live w/ an A, and know they lie, manipulate, speak over, know it all...... there are times I let my guard down and believe him because for a brief moment he is talking like a "normal" person. Last weekend, after I had made the decision to formally file for a divorce, we were discu...

Lyne · Lyne

In the past year I have gone from being an obsessed person who tracked my A's movements, to the present, where I discovered this past weekend I actually enjoyed being alone. I no longer care if my spouse and I have "quality time" because with the multiple addictions, there is no quality tim...

lookingup · lookingup

I knew better but didn't want to do what I knew was right or better???? Just read a post on here about doing better but they didn't know any better that was what helped them but as for me I do and did know better but still did it anyways cause ing me a lot of pain and greif

Lyne · Lyne

I really do love my meeting on Tuesday nights. I have been going faithfully for a little over a year. At the beginning I didn't really get it, the reading from the notebook, sharing without crosstalk, etc. Now the meeting is like an infusion of hope and caring right into my veins! I shared last night...

cat4554 · cat4554

Here is my story short and to the point. 10 years ago my marriage started to unravel. Were we arguing ? Sure. Were we both to blame ? Yes. 2009 my H was not the man I married, drinking far to much for my comfort level. In 2010 the lying started, saying he was working late when he wasn't. Coming home at 10...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I've decided to start reading more. I started reading "The Secret." Has anyone read it? Interesting, but I might have a hard time buying into it all. However, it is like believing in a higher power and trusting him. There are 3 steps. 1. Ask. Ask for what you want from the "universe&quo...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Well, I hope this make you laugh too. I had an appointment in the city last week and my bf who is in AA came along. It had been awhile since I'd been in the city and the weather was just perfect for sitting outside in one of those cafes. When we got out of the car i commented on how beautiful it was out. My thou...

Sallygcoe · Sallygcoe

My AS is not in any recovery program. He does not deny that he has problems but neither does he do anything to correct them. He says he is not using but all signs point to the opposite. He is so very angry about everything. He has such abnormal reactions to things that are just really not that important. I am...

Jerry F · Jerry F

after doing what it is you have done. Prayers being answered gratefully. Family I have to upgrade that the consequences of the prayers you were asked for are that the woman who had relapsed, been hospitalized and was living in her car with her son is now back into the program and her meetings. She...

Emmie11 · Emmie11

The checklist below is an excerpt from the conference approved brochure, Alcoholism the Family Disease, available for sale at face to face meetings and online at www.al-anon.alateen.org Non-Conference approved editorial notes, purely from Emmie's personal perspective and e...

Hullibee · Hullibee

He says I'm smothering him. I don't feel like I am. He claims I am following him, texting too much, calling, and constantly watching him. I have been struggling NOT to do these things. I wait all day long and force myself Not to text or call. I know better than to go to bars it's no use. I haven't done th...

Amanda32 · Amanda32

Hi everyone. I'm new here and was hoping for some advice. I've recently had a baby with my best friend who is a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober almost 7 years. When we decided to have the baby he was like a posterboy for recovery - he'd done alot of work on himself and seemed to be in a great place. V...

Jerry F · Jerry F

HP responded. I left the conversation with my sponsee last evening where we were planning "B"; a safe place they could stay overnight in the car and things he might do during the discharge from emergency. The decision was that they would stay in an area that is fairly well known for bein...

lookingup · lookingup

I've picked up some bad habits of his ever since all his foolishness,I'm now back to smoking and I take bc powders everyday both of them are some of his bad addictions are now mine,but I do own them cause he didn't make me do them and he didn't encourage me do do them either he did try to discourage me but I wou...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Went to a celebration of someone's first year of sobriety over the weekend. It was the son of a couple in AA. The dad and mom were hosting the party for the son in the family home. We'd been to their house for a holiday party last year. The family has a very beautiful home and as we were getting closer to...

lookingup · lookingup

Me and a friend went walking this early morning gonna start everyday doing this and it actually felt great.funny how strange it feels when you actually start taking care of myself .im hoping this will be a ongoing thing for me.i need it.my bf just acting diff.i dont know what his motives are and I'm onl...

lookingup · lookingup

powerless to overcome my addiction???? Hm why can't I see what my addiction is ?me and my bf are back dping great again so now the past tends to be just a blurr.and how has my life became unmanageable now that he is back my life is manageable????can someone here plz help me with this one I always thought thi...

kidznrs · kidznrs

I believe my partner enables her daughter. I haven't actually seen a lot of the stuff. The daughter parrots things she thinks my partner wants to hear. I went to the zoo, alone, and said how I thought they were building a place where you go to feed the giraffes. The daughter "went" to the z...

deacon · deacon

Supposed to be just a family shower but the whole bridal party showed up. Family knew we would be serving no alcohol but the wedding party did not. Well hey, we had not invited them. There were eight of them and I know they all drink frequently. Wondered how they would accept a dry party. There were scads o...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I had a rough weekend dealing with alcohol abuse and my loved ones. But out of the drama and heartache I learned one thing. That I must focus on me because I am the only one who can pull myself out of this situation. I will keep coming to Alanon and focus time on myself to get better. I realized that I rely...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm up every other morning puckering at 1 am and have to take a strong nerve pill,I'm working step one right now and takeing my time to really understand the meaning of it,I'm relying soo much on this program and 12 steps everyday all most all day long wanting relief from all this pain of liveing with an a,...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

No offense to the decent men here...but are most men pigs like my STBXAH??? I have mentioned how I found some disturbing things he posted on a disgusting website...well I looked at website again and figured out he has posted many many things under different names. I can tell it's him. Unbelievable. I d...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

welllll one would thoink the heart racing and the dr saying its connected to drinkng 'so slow it down'(dumb statement)woukd maybe be wake up call. . nope. sooo that brings us to last nite. . i went with daughter and friends to drive ins. .figuring hubby would go do his thing. at midnight i get a call as the...

Gaby · Gaby

Yesterday for the first time I went to see my son. He looks real good but don't they always when they have to stay sober. I prayed to not walk in with any anger. I told him I love him and all that has happened good bad and indifferent while he's been out in the streets and in jail!!! He wants to get transitioned...

Rebecca B · Rebecca B

I don't know why I'm staying. I have enough of my own stuff to deal with. I don't want to have to deal or even be around someone else struggling with a disease anymore. I need a little hope I guess.

blessed · blessed

Well, today the AH agreed to most of my financial settlement agreement. I had to give on a few things, and was more than glad to just to get him to agree and I can give to atty to draw up. He works w/ a bunch of attornyes at his job (although they are not civil attys he thinks they can tell him if it is "fair&...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So today I felt really lonely. I was reminiscing about things I miss in my marriage. I was down on myself for having 2 failed marriages. I was depressed about an argument I had with my oldest child. I made a mistake, once again, by thinking my husband could fix everything. Why do I continue to look for help...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Atty #4 (Preview) Well, I have moved on to attorney number 4 .. we'll see how this goes. She was suppose to call me back last week and did not .. that is concerning to me. I want this DONE. I think she is seeing that a lot of mistakes have been made and that I have been sold down the river so to speak in the advice I have been give...	SerenityRUS	6	425	Aug 4, 2014 by bud
	My children back my AH need advice. (Preview) My husband is a very active alcoholic. But he does hold down a very good job. I've been married to him for 26 years. He drinks from the time he comes home from work til he goes to bed. And on the weekends - Friday night to Sunday night. He has recently started to get sicker, losing weight, no appetite, s...	slowlearner	8	493	Aug 3, 2014 by Newlife girl
	leaving my a/ breaking up (Preview) I don't know what is harder, the fact that he is gone, or the fact that have so much catching up I have to do within my own life. I miss him everyday, and i know the biggest part of it is adjusting to a new routine, but I just hate it so much sometimes. I have to let go of the dreams of children and a home we would bu...	astallaslions	11	524	Aug 3, 2014 by sunrise2014
	Step 2 ....HOPE-come to believe that the power of god can restore me to complete spiritual health. (Preview) Now I've got to work this step I feel numb to everything it's like nothing wants to stick with me or sink in .i know that that's all from dealing and being so enmeshed in my abf life.ill be soo glad when my relief comes to me.today my abf is doing good and last nite he came home late but was sober best I could tel...	lookingup	3	350	Aug 3, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Step 12 (Preview) Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work. Step 12, has been posted to the step work board. Please share your ESH on the step so we can all grow. Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard...	hotrod	0	210	Aug 3, 2014 by hotrod
	Did I do the right thing? (Preview) I know I'mousting a lot but I have questions my abf asked to borrow my car and I said yes,he got me off gaurd I had said no this morning that I had no gas his car is on empty,he said he would be right back again I feel like he can talk me into about anything he is still gone said he would be right back it's been over a...	lookingup	6	370	Aug 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	RAH made his amends this AM (Preview) I had no expectations. His amends were an apology for the silent treatment and withdrawn behaviors. There was still a lot of blame shifting and excuses. At one point he said that he has to chide and tease our son because our son is an only child and doesn't have an older brother who can teach him that pe...	andromeda	7	675	Aug 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	Betty! (Preview)	Tasha	20	516	Aug 3, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Huge Step (Preview) I have been a stay at home mom since our first child was born 10 years ago. Prior to that I had a good job that I enjoyed. It was a big adjustment, staying home, but one that I have come to enjoy. I have treasured the time I am able to spend with my kids. I have also become very involved with a local charity, t...	Tossed Salad	9	335	Aug 3, 2014 by blessed
	What should I do? (Preview) I have been with my bf going on 3 years next month. I knew when we started that he was an alcoholic but I decided to give it a chance. I was also a drinker but quit a few months after we started dating. My papa just died of alcoholism and my bf's mom died of it too eight years ago. My bf had to watch what it was doing...	confused_gf	2	301	Aug 3, 2014 by hotrod
	I'm a Warrior (Preview) I am done feeling sorry for myself, and allowing myself to take on the same bad attitude about life as my AH. Today I am remembering that I am a warrior of my life, and I will fight for my serenity and peace. I have been through enough situations to know that my HP has always brought me to a place of goodness an...	sunrise2014	6	348	Aug 3, 2014 by el-cee
	Is my husband an alcoholic? I don't know, Maybe you can help me figure it out (Preview) Hi, First time on an AA chat board. My husband likes to drink-he says he likes to drink because it tastes good. Most people I know like to drink but they don't drink everyday. When we were young, we went out to bars and drank and had fun. We've been married 23 years, but the last 5 years my husband has bee...	MissPiggy	3	390	Aug 3, 2014 by cloudyskies
	New city (Preview) I've been in my new apt for a week. The apt turned out very nice it was completely remodeled with brand new fixtures and appliances. I've attended 2 meetings and I have kept in contact daily with my program friends. I start work Monday. Everything is going good. I've been thinking of my soon to be ex ah. I t...	texasgal	8	381	Aug 3, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Feeling stupid (Preview) I just got paid ,abf has no job he has been jobless for mths he had been going and going but no money I'm just finding out the truth of why he had been going a lot the ppl he was running with they were on meth I dunno about all of them but my bf hung with them he has been promising saying he has a job coming up but I don...	lookingup	7	433	Aug 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	Functioning Alcoholic (Preview) My first post. Encouraged by my best friend. Hiding from all other friends. And family. We have a quiet midwestern life. College town. Go team! My husband and I were high school sweethearts. We were college athletes. We married. So happy. So easy. 3 kids. Our last with serious health challenges. I sta...	ilovecoach	11	671	Aug 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	Checking in (Preview) I haven't posted in a few days. I am alone tonight so I thought it was time. My AH just left for the night "to get drunk". I am trying to stay out of it but it still burns me up that he has to leave the house to do this. Thought I would give a little background info on myself. I haven't looked at mys...	Hullibee	5	430	Aug 3, 2014 by hotrod
	Not really Al-anon related, family related .... (Preview) I find myself angry at my family and they don't really understand why, some of them don't even know at this point, and while I would really like to find a way to say what is wrong, I doubt my ability to get through to them what exactly my issue is. I live the farthest driving distance from them, I work 6-7 days...	likemyheart	9	370	Aug 2, 2014 by bud
	The Dance of Surrender....One Step Forward....Two Steps Back....Or am i just going in circles? (Preview) I am just now coming out of years of living in denial about my daughter's alcoholism. I am attending AlAnon meetings and will ask for a Sponsor. In the meantime, here I am and asking.....although I can feel the truth of being Powerless... I'm also still holding onto ideas of how I need to control my th...	Jville	7	497	Aug 2, 2014 by el-cee
	Just wanted to say... . (Preview) I love you all and thank you for being here. Because of bad weather, I have missed a couple of my f2f meetings, and b/c of other distractions, I haven't been able to visit here. As a result, I found myself slipping back into some of my distorted thinking. How easy it is to slip back into old habits. I reminde...	cloudyskies	7	520	Aug 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	Divorce papers (Preview) Just received my divorce papers from my husband. I have a lawyer but i guess things werent moving fast or good enough for him, so he retained his own and filed for divorce. Just received the papers In certified mail. He is in a big rush to get me out of the home.	Mirandac	9	469	Aug 2, 2014 by Mirandac
	First meeting and .... missed it by a week ... (Preview) Hi, So I went to my first al anon meeting tonight...or so I thought...since this is a small town, apparently the last Thursdays of the month are a joint AA/Alanon meeting for Birthdays. Walking in anyway, with encouragement, I sat through it all...and got all teary eyed once in a while. Here were alc...	watts	5	417	Aug 2, 2014 by Jerry F
	Another day in paradise (Preview) I hurt my back digging up three bushes that husband didn't want to do. So he said he would help me food shop tomorrow. Well I thought maybe he would want to get it over and done with when he got home from work. He must have had a few before he got home, because he is accusing me of assaulting him by asking if h...	Debb	7	509	Aug 2, 2014 by Debb
	today's odat (Preview) Great reading today, is one of my favourites and helps me detach. It talks about the slogan, live and let live. It tells us to live fully, happily with joy and at the same time allow others to live as they choose without criticism and judgement from us. If we live this way it stops us trying to control and st...	el-cee	8	467	Aug 2, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Thoughts when I look back! (Preview) My husband was my first serious relationship I was 19 when we got married and he was 29, from the onset it was a volatile relationship, he was a chain smoker and an every night drinker, he was an engineer and very clever he never missed a days work even when he broke his foot I drove him in, he would totally ov...	Katy	3	411	Aug 2, 2014 by PP
	alcoholism, a thinking disease (Preview) Ive came to believe completely that alcoholism is a disease, a disease that affects the way everyone in the family thinks. The alcoholics distorted thinking is so easy to see, the nonsense they talk, black and white thinking, the poor mes, nobody loves me, its so unfair, the world is against me and its...	el-cee	11	771	Aug 2, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Back to rehab? Yes or no? (Preview) My husband went into a 30 rehab in April, then was transferred to a 90 day, of which he didn't finish, he was asked to leave 30 days early due to an altercation. So, when he got out, he wasn't allowed home yet, I wanted to see him work his sobriety in the general public. Needless to say, he was not happy about t...	sunrise2014	4	498	Aug 1, 2014 by jillybean1
	Katy update! (Preview) Good Morning Mip, So I am coming up one month away from my home and my feelings are very up and down, I am able to pop home here and there for anything I need and my husband and I are communicating as best we can, I am finding though that his thinking is all over the place and it feels like he is trying to manipula...	Katy	2	373	Aug 1, 2014 by grateful2be
	Letting Go (Preview) Hi All! Update on my AH and myself. He called last night and said he cannot progress if he talks to me more than once a week and sees me more than once every two weeks, because he can't focus on himself. He hasn't been able to move from his fourth step work which he started back sometime in June when we had no co...	Flower49	3	371	Aug 1, 2014 by Jerry F
	Struggling with Boundaries...but I have a temporary sponsor! :) (Preview) Good morning everyone! The good news is I have a temporary sponsor..which I'm really glad I do! F2F meetings are wonderful..I'm really enjoying them :) I'm however struggling a lot with boundaries. Along with those boundaries..balancing stuff my AM can't do for herself physically vs. stuff s...	phoenixmagicgirl	5	429	Aug 1, 2014 by Jerry F
	Hating myself every day.. (Preview) So here goes my first post after putting up with alocoholic fiance for the the past 4 years... Found this message board today and thought maybe if I shared I could get some feedback since I really don't know how to handle my situation. Horrible night tonight..as usual. My fiance is perfect during the...	Gleleni	15	518	Jul 31, 2014 by Kelly123
	One step to a time (Preview) Sorry to bore you all . Talked to my lawyer and accountant Today ordered an appraisal on property but its not till end of august. i am very nervous of my ah moving home. I am trying not to project problems but he has been unpleasant toward me. we write notes or text any messages to each other. He mostly goes...	Mirandac	10	499	Jul 31, 2014 by grateful2be
	Just checking in:-) (Preview) Hey all!! Just a quick hello I've been going to bed early (SHOCK! HORROR!) because..I like to be awake and alert when I go for my little drives during the day lol. I'm taking it slowly, my car is big and sort of like driving a tank compared to what I learnt in so I go a little further each day running sense...	missmeliss	9	508	Jul 31, 2014 by PP
	Who Fakes Forgetfulness? (Preview) DDH, apparently. To put it more nicely, Husband who hasn't had a drink for decades and is so not into recovery. He told my sister he says he forgets to do things, but he's really just deliberately not doing them and then when I "nag" him he gets mad. Passive-aggressive and proud of it. Please...	Temple	21	665	Jul 31, 2014 by Temple
	Never take for granted... (Preview) Even though I live w/ an A, and know they lie, manipulate, speak over, know it all...... there are times I let my guard down and believe him because for a brief moment he is talking like a "normal" person. Last weekend, after I had made the decision to formally file for a divorce, we were discu...	blessed	7	442	Jul 31, 2014 by blessed
	detachment confusion (Preview) In the past year I have gone from being an obsessed person who tracked my A's movements, to the present, where I discovered this past weekend I actually enjoyed being alone. I no longer care if my spouse and I have "quality time" because with the multiple addictions, there is no quality tim...	Lyne	3	261	Jul 31, 2014 by Jerry F
	I knew better (Preview) I knew better but didn't want to do what I knew was right or better???? Just read a post on here about doing better but they didn't know any better that was what helped them but as for me I do and did know better but still did it anyways cause ing me a lot of pain and greif	lookingup	5	331	Jul 31, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	I love my meeting! (Preview) I really do love my meeting on Tuesday nights. I have been going faithfully for a little over a year. At the beginning I didn't really get it, the reading from the notebook, sharing without crosstalk, etc. Now the meeting is like an infusion of hope and caring right into my veins! I shared last night...	Lyne	1	238	Jul 31, 2014 by hotrod
	When Love is not enough , I could use suggestions / advice ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Here is my story short and to the point. 10 years ago my marriage started to unravel. Were we arguing ? Sure. Were we both to blame ? Yes. 2009 my H was not the man I married, drinking far to much for my comfort level. In 2010 the lying started, saying he was working late when he wasn't. Coming home at 10...	cat4554	41	1165	Jul 31, 2014 by whispers
	The Secret (Preview) I've decided to start reading more. I started reading "The Secret." Has anyone read it? Interesting, but I might have a hard time buying into it all. However, it is like believing in a higher power and trusting him. There are 3 steps. 1. Ask. Ask for what you want from the "universe&quo...	Newlife girl	7	547	Jul 31, 2014 by blessed
	Humor Is Good (Preview) Well, I hope this make you laugh too. I had an appointment in the city last week and my bf who is in AA came along. It had been awhile since I'd been in the city and the weather was just perfect for sitting outside in one of those cafes. When we got out of the car i commented on how beautiful it was out. My thou...	tiredtonite	7	308	Jul 31, 2014 by Jerry F
	the results of their guilt is so hard to deal with (Preview) My AS is not in any recovery program. He does not deny that he has problems but neither does he do anything to correct them. He says he is not using but all signs point to the opposite. He is so very angry about everything. He has such abnormal reactions to things that are just really not that important. I am...	Sallygcoe	2	291	Jul 31, 2014 by Jerry F
	Consequences are what you get (Preview) after doing what it is you have done. Prayers being answered gratefully. Family I have to upgrade that the consequences of the prayers you were asked for are that the woman who had relapsed, been hospitalized and was living in her car with her son is now back into the program and her meetings. She...	Jerry F	4	308	Jul 31, 2014 by el-cee
	Maturity Checklist (Preview) The checklist below is an excerpt from the conference approved brochure, Alcoholism the Family Disease, available for sale at face to face meetings and online at www.al-anon.alateen.org Non-Conference approved editorial notes, purely from Emmie's personal perspective and e...	Emmie11	9	25261	Jul 30, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Smothering (Preview) He says I'm smothering him. I don't feel like I am. He claims I am following him, texting too much, calling, and constantly watching him. I have been struggling NOT to do these things. I wait all day long and force myself Not to text or call. I know better than to go to bars it's no use. I haven't done th...	Hullibee	15	2642	Jul 30, 2014 by Kelly123
	recovery slipping? (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here and was hoping for some advice. I've recently had a baby with my best friend who is a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober almost 7 years. When we decided to have the baby he was like a posterboy for recovery - he'd done alot of work on himself and seemed to be in a great place. V...	Amanda32	13	481	Jul 30, 2014 by Amanda32
	After and During your prayer times.... (Preview) HP responded. I left the conversation with my sponsee last evening where we were planning "B"; a safe place they could stay overnight in the car and things he might do during the discharge from emergency. The decision was that they would stay in an area that is fairly well known for bein...	Jerry F	15	532	Jul 30, 2014 by Tasha
	His bad habits (Preview) I've picked up some bad habits of his ever since all his foolishness,I'm now back to smoking and I take bc powders everyday both of them are some of his bad addictions are now mine,but I do own them cause he didn't make me do them and he didn't encourage me do do them either he did try to discourage me but I wou...	lookingup	6	391	Jul 30, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	A Nice Celebration of First Year Sobriety (Preview) Went to a celebration of someone's first year of sobriety over the weekend. It was the son of a couple in AA. The dad and mom were hosting the party for the son in the family home. We'd been to their house for a holiday party last year. The family has a very beautiful home and as we were getting closer to...	tiredtonite	2	420	Jul 30, 2014 by grateful2be
	Taking car of me (Preview) Me and a friend went walking this early morning gonna start everyday doing this and it actually felt great.funny how strange it feels when you actually start taking care of myself .im hoping this will be a ongoing thing for me.i need it.my bf just acting diff.i dont know what his motives are and I'm onl...	lookingup	0	257	Jul 30, 2014 by lookingup
	Step 1 .Admit that I'm powerless my addictions and that my life has become unmanageable. (Preview) powerless to overcome my addiction???? Hm why can't I see what my addiction is ?me and my bf are back dping great again so now the past tends to be just a blurr.and how has my life became unmanageable now that he is back my life is manageable????can someone here plz help me with this one I always thought thi...	lookingup	6	464	Jul 29, 2014 by Mimi3
	Enabling (Preview) I believe my partner enables her daughter. I haven't actually seen a lot of the stuff. The daughter parrots things she thinks my partner wants to hear. I went to the zoo, alone, and said how I thought they were building a place where you go to feed the giraffes. The daughter "went" to the z...	kidznrs	7	484	Jul 29, 2014 by Mattie
	Hosted a 'dry' wedding shower for my nephew (Preview) Supposed to be just a family shower but the whole bridal party showed up. Family knew we would be serving no alcohol but the wedding party did not. Well hey, we had not invited them. There were eight of them and I know they all drink frequently. Wondered how they would accept a dry party. There were scads o...	deacon	2	380	Jul 29, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Lesson I Learned (Preview) I had a rough weekend dealing with alcohol abuse and my loved ones. But out of the drama and heartache I learned one thing. That I must focus on me because I am the only one who can pull myself out of this situation. I will keep coming to Alanon and focus time on myself to get better. I realized that I rely...	slowlearner	5	255	Jul 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sick (Preview) I'm up every other morning puckering at 1 am and have to take a strong nerve pill,I'm working step one right now and takeing my time to really understand the meaning of it,I'm relying soo much on this program and 12 steps everyday all most all day long wanting relief from all this pain of liveing with an a,...	lookingup	10	450	Jul 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	Will never trust men again...I am convinced (Preview) No offense to the decent men here...but are most men pigs like my STBXAH??? I have mentioned how I found some disturbing things he posted on a disgusting website...well I looked at website again and figured out he has posted many many things under different names. I can tell it's him. Unbelievable. I d...	Newlife girl	5	488	Jul 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	couple of long updates, sorry for typos. . . (Preview) welllll one would thoink the heart racing and the dr saying its connected to drinkng 'so slow it down'(dumb statement)woukd maybe be wake up call. . nope. sooo that brings us to last nite. . i went with daughter and friends to drive ins. .figuring hubby would go do his thing. at midnight i get a call as the...	Theoceancalls	1	330	Jul 29, 2014 by Jerry F
	Off to a meeting.. (Preview) Yesterday for the first time I went to see my son. He looks real good but don't they always when they have to stay sober. I prayed to not walk in with any anger. I told him I love him and all that has happened good bad and indifferent while he's been out in the streets and in jail!!! He wants to get transitioned...	Gaby	3	251	Jul 29, 2014 by Jerry F
	Why Do I stay? (Preview) I don't know why I'm staying. I have enough of my own stuff to deal with. I don't want to have to deal or even be around someone else struggling with a disease anymore. I need a little hope I guess.	Rebecca B	13	742	Jul 28, 2014 by sunrise2014
	Working slogans (Preview) Well, today the AH agreed to most of my financial settlement agreement. I had to give on a few things, and was more than glad to just to get him to agree and I can give to atty to draw up. He works w/ a bunch of attornyes at his job (although they are not civil attys he thinks they can tell him if it is "fair&...	blessed	7	597	Jul 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	My loneliness worked against me today (Preview) So today I felt really lonely. I was reminiscing about things I miss in my marriage. I was down on myself for having 2 failed marriages. I was depressed about an argument I had with my oldest child. I made a mistake, once again, by thinking my husband could fix everything. Why do I continue to look for help...	Newlife girl	5	538	Jul 28, 2014 by Newlife girl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.