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Functioning Alcoholic
(Preview)
My first post. Encouraged by my best friend. Hiding from all other friends. And family. We have a quiet midwestern life. College town. Go team! My husband and I were high school sweethearts. We were college athletes. We married. So happy. So easy. 3 kids. Our last with serious health challenges. I sta...
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ilovecoach
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11
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654
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Checking in
(Preview)
I haven't posted in a few days. I am alone tonight so I thought it was time. My AH just left for the night "to get drunk". I am trying to stay out of it but it still burns me up that he has to leave the house to do this. Thought I would give a little background info on myself. I haven't looked at mys...
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Hullibee
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5
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417
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Not really Al-anon related, family related ....
(Preview)
I find myself angry at my family and they don't really understand why, some of them don't even know at this point, and while I would really like to find a way to say what is wrong, I doubt my ability to get through to them what exactly my issue is. I live the farthest driving distance from them, I work 6-7 days...
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likemyheart
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9
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356
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The Dance of Surrender....One Step Forward....Two Steps Back....Or am i just going in circles?
(Preview)
I am just now coming out of years of living in denial about my daughter's alcoholism. I am attending AlAnon meetings and will ask for a Sponsor. In the meantime, here I am and asking.....although I can feel the truth of being Powerless... I'm also still holding onto ideas of how I need to control my th...
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Jville
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7
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480
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Just wanted to say...
(Preview)
I love you all and thank you for being here. Because of bad weather, I have missed a couple of my f2f meetings, and b/c of other distractions, I haven't been able to visit here. As a result, I found myself slipping back into some of my distorted thinking. How easy it is to slip back into old habits. I reminde...
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cloudyskies
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7
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510
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Divorce papers
(Preview)
Just received my divorce papers from my husband. I have a lawyer but i guess things werent moving fast or good enough for him, so he retained his own and filed for divorce. Just received the papers In certified mail. He is in a big rush to get me out of the home.
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Mirandac
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9
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455
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First meeting and .... missed it by a week ...
(Preview)
Hi, So I went to my first al anon meeting tonight...or so I thought...since this is a small town, apparently the last Thursdays of the month are a joint AA/Alanon meeting for Birthdays. Walking in anyway, with encouragement, I sat through it all...and got all teary eyed once in a while. Here were alc...
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watts
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5
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402
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Another day in paradise
(Preview)
I hurt my back digging up three bushes that husband didn't want to do. So he said he would help me food shop tomorrow. Well I thought maybe he would want to get it over and done with when he got home from work. He must have had a few before he got home, because he is accusing me of assaulting him by asking if h...
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Debb
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7
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494
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today's odat
(Preview)
Great reading today, is one of my favourites and helps me detach. It talks about the slogan, live and let live. It tells us to live fully, happily with joy and at the same time allow others to live as they choose without criticism and judgement from us. If we live this way it stops us trying to control and st...
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el-cee
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8
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451
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Thoughts when I look back!
(Preview)
My husband was my first serious relationship I was 19 when we got married and he was 29, from the onset it was a volatile relationship, he was a chain smoker and an every night drinker, he was an engineer and very clever he never missed a days work even when he broke his foot I drove him in, he would totally ov...
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Katy
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3
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392
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alcoholism, a thinking disease
(Preview)
Ive came to believe completely that alcoholism is a disease, a disease that affects the way everyone in the family thinks. The alcoholics distorted thinking is so easy to see, the nonsense they talk, black and white thinking, the poor mes, nobody loves me, its so unfair, the world is against me and its...
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el-cee
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11
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752
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Back to rehab? Yes or no?
(Preview)
My husband went into a 30 rehab in April, then was transferred to a 90 day, of which he didn't finish, he was asked to leave 30 days early due to an altercation. So, when he got out, he wasn't allowed home yet, I wanted to see him work his sobriety in the general public. Needless to say, he was not happy about t...
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sunrise2014
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4
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481
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Katy update!
(Preview)
Good Morning Mip, So I am coming up one month away from my home and my feelings are very up and down, I am able to pop home here and there for anything I need and my husband and I are communicating as best we can, I am finding though that his thinking is all over the place and it feels like he is trying to manipula...
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Katy
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2
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358
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Letting Go
(Preview)
Hi All! Update on my AH and myself. He called last night and said he cannot progress if he talks to me more than once a week and sees me more than once every two weeks, because he can't focus on himself. He hasn't been able to move from his fourth step work which he started back sometime in June when we had no co...
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Flower49
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3
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356
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Struggling with Boundaries...but I have a temporary sponsor! :)
(Preview)
Good morning everyone!
The good news is I have a temporary sponsor..which I'm really glad I do! F2F meetings are wonderful..I'm really enjoying them :)
I'm however struggling a lot with boundaries. Along with those boundaries..balancing stuff my AM can't do for herself physically vs. stuff s...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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5
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411
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Hating myself every day..
(Preview)
So here goes my first post after putting up with alocoholic fiance for the the past 4 years... Found this message board today and thought maybe if I shared I could get some feedback since I really don't know how to handle my situation. Horrible night tonight..as usual. My fiance is perfect during the...
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Gleleni
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15
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502
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One step to a time
(Preview)
Sorry to bore you all . Talked to my lawyer and accountant Today ordered an appraisal on property but its not till end of august. i am very nervous of my ah moving home. I am trying not to project problems but he has been unpleasant toward me. we write notes or text any messages to each other. He mostly goes...
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Mirandac
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10
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484
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Just checking in:-)
(Preview)
Hey all!! Just a quick hello  I've been going to bed early (SHOCK! HORROR!) because..I like to be awake and alert when I go for my little drives during the day lol. I'm taking it slowly, my car is big and sort of like driving a tank compared to what I learnt in so I go a little further each day running sense...
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missmeliss
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9
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492
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Who Fakes Forgetfulness?
(Preview)
DDH, apparently. To put it more nicely, Husband who hasn't had a drink for decades and is so not into recovery. He told my sister he says he forgets to do things, but he's really just deliberately not doing them and then when I "nag" him he gets mad. Passive-aggressive and proud of it. Please...
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Temple
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21
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651
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Never take for granted...
(Preview)
Even though I live w/ an A, and know they lie, manipulate, speak over, know it all...... there are times I let my guard down and believe him because for a brief moment he is talking like a "normal" person. Last weekend, after I had made the decision to formally file for a divorce, we were discu...
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blessed
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7
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427
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detachment confusion
(Preview)
In the past year I have gone from being an obsessed person who tracked my A's movements, to the present, where I discovered this past weekend I actually enjoyed being alone. I no longer care if my spouse and I have "quality time" because with the multiple addictions, there is no quality tim...
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Lyne
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3
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243
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I knew better
(Preview)
I knew better but didn't want to do what I knew was right or better???? Just read a post on here about doing better but they didn't know any better that was what helped them but as for me I do and did know better but still did it anyways cause ing me a lot of pain and greif
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lookingup
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5
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316
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I love my meeting!
(Preview)
I really do love my meeting on Tuesday nights. I have been going faithfully for a little over a year. At the beginning I didn't really get it, the reading from the notebook, sharing without crosstalk, etc. Now the meeting is like an infusion of hope and caring right into my veins! I shared last night...
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Lyne
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1
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223
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When Love is not enough , I could use suggestions / advice
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Here is my story short and to the point. 10 years ago my marriage started to unravel. Were we arguing ? Sure. Were we both to blame ? Yes. 2009 my H was not the man I married, drinking far to much for my comfort level. In 2010 the lying started, saying he was working late when he wasn't. Coming home at 10...
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cat4554
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41
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1142
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The Secret
(Preview)
I've decided to start reading more. I started reading "The Secret." Has anyone read it? Interesting, but I might have a hard time buying into it all. However, it is like believing in a higher power and trusting him. There are 3 steps. 1. Ask. Ask for what you want from the "universe&quo...
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Newlife girl
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7
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532
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Humor Is Good
(Preview)
Well, I hope this make you laugh too. I had an appointment in the city last week and my bf who is in AA came along. It had been awhile since I'd been in the city and the weather was just perfect for sitting outside in one of those cafes. When we got out of the car i commented on how beautiful it was out. My thou...
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tiredtonite
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7
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293
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the results of their guilt is so hard to deal with
(Preview)
My AS is not in any recovery program. He does not deny that he has problems but neither does he do anything to correct them. He says he is not using but all signs point to the opposite. He is so very angry about everything. He has such abnormal reactions to things that are just really not that important. I am...
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Sallygcoe
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2
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275
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Consequences are what you get
(Preview)
after doing what it is you have done. Prayers being answered gratefully. Family I have to upgrade that the consequences of the prayers you were asked for are that the woman who had relapsed, been hospitalized and was living in her car with her son is now back into the program and her meetings. She...
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Jerry F
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4
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291
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Maturity Checklist
(Preview)
The checklist below is an excerpt from the conference approved brochure, Alcoholism the Family Disease, available for sale at face to face meetings and online at www.al-anon.alateen.org
Non-Conference approved editorial notes, purely from Emmie's personal perspective and e...
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Emmie11
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9
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24190
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Smothering
(Preview)
He says I'm smothering him. I don't feel like I am. He claims I am following him, texting too much, calling, and constantly watching him. I have been struggling NOT to do these things. I wait all day long and force myself Not to text or call. I know better than to go to bars it's no use. I haven't done th...
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Hullibee
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15
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2573
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recovery slipping?
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I'm new here and was hoping for some advice. I've recently had a baby with my best friend who is a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober almost 7 years. When we decided to have the baby he was like a posterboy for recovery - he'd done alot of work on himself and seemed to be in a great place. V...
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Amanda32
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13
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464
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After and During your prayer times....
(Preview)
HP responded. I left the conversation with my sponsee last evening where we were planning "B"; a safe place they could stay overnight in the car and things he might do during the discharge from emergency. The decision was that they would stay in an area that is fairly well known for bein...
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Jerry F
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15
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517
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His bad habits
(Preview)
I've picked up some bad habits of his ever since all his foolishness,I'm now back to smoking and I take bc powders everyday both of them are some of his bad addictions are now mine,but I do own them cause he didn't make me do them and he didn't encourage me do do them either he did try to discourage me but I wou...
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lookingup
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6
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374
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A Nice Celebration of First Year Sobriety
(Preview)
Went to a celebration of someone's first year of sobriety over the weekend. It was the son of a couple in AA. The dad and mom were hosting the party for the son in the family home. We'd been to their house for a holiday party last year. The family has a very beautiful home and as we were getting closer to...
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tiredtonite
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2
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402
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Taking car of me
(Preview)
Me and a friend went walking this early morning gonna start everyday doing this and it actually felt great.funny how strange it feels when you actually start taking care of myself .im hoping this will be a ongoing thing for me.i need it.my bf just acting diff.i dont know what his motives are and I'm onl...
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lookingup
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0
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242
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Step 1 .Admit that I'm powerless my addictions and that my life has become unmanageable.
(Preview)
powerless to overcome my addiction???? Hm why can't I see what my addiction is ?me and my bf are back dping great again so now the past tends to be just a blurr.and how has my life became unmanageable now that he is back my life is manageable????can someone here plz help me with this one I always thought thi...
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lookingup
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6
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447
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Enabling
(Preview)
I believe my partner enables her daughter. I haven't actually seen a lot of the stuff. The daughter parrots things she thinks my partner wants to hear. I went to the zoo, alone, and said how I thought they were building a place where you go to feed the giraffes. The daughter "went" to the z...
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kidznrs
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7
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468
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Hosted a 'dry' wedding shower for my nephew
(Preview)
Supposed to be just a family shower but the whole bridal party showed up. Family knew we would be serving no alcohol but the wedding party did not. Well hey, we had not invited them. There were eight of them and I know they all drink frequently. Wondered how they would accept a dry party. There were scads o...
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deacon
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2
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365
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Lesson I Learned
(Preview)
I had a rough weekend dealing with alcohol abuse and my loved ones. But out of the drama and heartache I learned one thing. That I must focus on me because I am the only one who can pull myself out of this situation. I will keep coming to Alanon and focus time on myself to get better. I realized that I rely...
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slowlearner
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5
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240
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Sick
(Preview)
I'm up every other morning puckering at 1 am and have to take a strong nerve pill,I'm working step one right now and takeing my time to really understand the meaning of it,I'm relying soo much on this program and 12 steps everyday all most all day long wanting relief from all this pain of liveing with an a,...
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lookingup
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10
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435
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Will never trust men again...I am convinced
(Preview)
No offense to the decent men here...but are most men pigs like my STBXAH??? I have mentioned how I found some disturbing things he posted on a disgusting website...well I looked at website again and figured out he has posted many many things under different names. I can tell it's him. Unbelievable. I d...
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Newlife girl
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5
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473
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couple of long updates, sorry for typos. . .
(Preview)
welllll one would thoink the heart racing and the dr saying its connected to drinkng 'so slow it down'(dumb statement)woukd maybe be wake up call. . nope. sooo that brings us to last nite. . i went with daughter and friends to drive ins. .figuring hubby would go do his thing. at midnight i get a call as the...
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Theoceancalls
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1
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315
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Off to a meeting..
(Preview)
Yesterday for the first time I went to see my son. He looks real good but don't they always when they have to stay sober. I prayed to not walk in with any anger. I told him I love him and all that has happened good bad and indifferent while he's been out in the streets and in jail!!! He wants to get transitioned...
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Gaby
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3
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236
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Why Do I stay?
(Preview)
I don't know why I'm staying. I have enough of my own stuff to deal with. I don't want to have to deal or even be around someone else struggling with a disease anymore. I need a little hope I guess.
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Rebecca B
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13
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724
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Working slogans
(Preview)
Well, today the AH agreed to most of my financial settlement agreement. I had to give on a few things, and was more than glad to just to get him to agree and I can give to atty to draw up. He works w/ a bunch of attornyes at his job (although they are not civil attys he thinks they can tell him if it is "fair&...
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blessed
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7
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571
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My loneliness worked against me today
(Preview)
So today I felt really lonely. I was reminiscing about things I miss in my marriage. I was down on myself for having 2 failed marriages. I was depressed about an argument I had with my oldest child. I made a mistake, once again, by thinking my husband could fix everything. Why do I continue to look for help...
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Newlife girl
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5
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522
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Group Conscious Issue - Reminder - Only 6 days away!
(closed)
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I hope you are having a good day. On our Meeting/Chat Room Info board we are discussing the issue of registering MIP's Al-Anon portion of this site with AFG World Service Center. A group member, Tigger was nominated and elected to act as the liaison between us and World Service Center to...
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John
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0
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237
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Still Struggling....why can't I just let it go!
(Preview)
Hi all! I have really been struggling since Wednesday when my AH called to tell me now he wants to speak to me only once a week and then if there are activities he will invite me or not. I am really trying hard to let it go, let it go, let it go, but I find myself mad, hurt, frustrated, confused, sad......I seri...
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Flower49
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13
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540
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I'm in panic-mode
(Preview)
My AH was in a very dark place yesterday since I validated out separation, since I've put my foot down. His mother said he cried all night and this morning he cried as he walked out the door for work. He stated he was tired of living (not sure if that was a manipulative tactic) yesterday. Well, got a call...
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sunrise2014
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3
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362
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Monday morning blues
(Preview)
Happy Monday to all.. well kind of, trying to stay positive but a tough weekend punctuated by moments of happiness (mainly when out riding and not with the AW) but now feeling drained and down, but will read though the forum and look for inspiration. Sean
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Sean_82
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6
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390
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Triggers and reacting
(Preview)
So, this morning I went to say goodbye to my AH when I left for work (he goes in later than I do), and he seemed really confused and out of it. I tried not to, but my brain immediately went on 'Has he been drinking?' alert. Went to work, sent him a text an hour or so later about an appointment with someone to ta...
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SpiderArcana
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3
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753
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Meaning of encouragement and understanding the a and how do I accomplish this
(Preview)
It says in our preamble to be able to understand and give them encouragement to the a,my a don't ever get drunk he drinks everyday but just a couple helps his paiin.someone plz help me to understand the .....to be able to understand the a and give them encouragement. Thank you -- Edited by lookingup on Sa...
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lookingup
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7
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611
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Cheater
(Preview)
Is it true once a cheater always a cheater?should I trust him????this one scares me to death.
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lookingup
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16
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700
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Thank you
(Preview)
I just wanted to say thank you for the wonderful people on this website. I had an awful weekend and just knowing that someone was out there listening and offering encouraement made me feel much better.
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slowlearner
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3
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249
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Katy update!
(Preview)
I am still away from home and feeling so many emotions, I had first communication from my husband after two and half weeks, it actually upset me more speaking with him again, but gradually I have come to terms with that and am accepting it is all a process, I have no goal as yet sept to heal myself from the t...
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Katy
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6
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553
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My feelings don't make sense
(Preview)
So, my Addict husband has been out of rehab for a month and a half, but since has decided to stop working on our marriage and wanted to split up (which we have) and has continued a phone relationship with someone who he met at rehab.....which tore me to absolute pieces, since it was happening in my own home...
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sunrise2014
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9
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510
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So stressed I slept all day...
(Preview)
It was supposed to be a fun family gathering, a meal to get together and catch up on things. It started out fine until everyone drank too much and got into a heated discussion. i usally don't go to social events with my AH but decided to go because my daughter and son-in-law were going to be there. This d...
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slowlearner
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11
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484
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Understanding it
(Preview)
I've been wondering also as on another post that I read is why do I stay and the answer came to me in an instant of course my a came back into my life 2and a half yrs ago today I've forgotten what it was like being without him,I'm gotten closer to him these 2and a half yrs is all it takes for me to get closer to them...
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lookingup
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2
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269
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New use for vodka
(Preview)
I had no intention of saying anything. I've been to a f to f meeting, read the alanon books each day, praying to HP. Today when my partner says, you don't believe her (A stepdaughter), I said no. She's an A. My partner just stopped talking. I said only As buy vodka to clean a couch. This is a dry state an...
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kidznrs
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6
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482
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People not affected by an A
(Preview)
I was on an online social media page where people were saying that they were going to Al-Anon meetings even though they weren't affected by someone's alcoholism. One specific person said they were going because it helped them with their spouses PTSD. This sounds wrong to me. I don't think anyone not a...
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deramam
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3
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328
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