Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kspec85 · kspec85

Hi everyone. I am new to all of this and warn in advance this will probably be quite long. I am 29 and divorced with three children. I was born into a diseased and mentally ill family. My father was an addict- heroine, crack, alcohol, all of it. He moved my brother and I all over and other than that we lived in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been both sick & tired lately. I guess I was again even concerned about my sanity. One thing is for sure that I have a virus that cannot be fixed by any kind of medicine or anti-biotic at all. I am just grateful that I think I am on the better end of it. I think I am going to survive. Sleep on the other h...

frustrationshigh · frustrationshigh

I've been reading these forums for awhile now, and I am ready to share my story. I'm not sure what it is, exactly, I'm looking for though. Maybe just to vent? Maybe for some words of encouragement? Maybe advice? Maybe to know that I'm not alone.... Anyways, I'll start from the beginning. Here it g...

chatz · chatz

I have never been on a chat room of any type before and I am trying to think of how to summarize the story of the devastation my family has been through over the past two years. For whatever reason, TODAY was the day I was inspired to start researching alanon? Don't know why today...but here I am. I welco...

astallaslions · astallaslions

I have written many letters to my A during the last 6 months of our break up, none of which I have sent. This last one, I have been considering. It is basically an attempt to reach out and reestablish contact, on the premise to have closure and resolution for our messy break up, with the condition that he is...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since I have found al-anon I feel more balanced and connected to my fellow human beings, whether it is a homeless person, an addict, a child, or someone of means. I can see myself in them and them in me even if I like or dislike what they are doing. I have learned when I usually have a strong reaction to anoth...

willowtree · willowtree

I have been in alanon for 3 years and it seems like I am getting more program friends and less friends outside the program. Is this something that starts to happen in your lives? I let go of one friendship who was really narcissistic and everything was all about her so I feel good about leaving that frie...

Luiza · Luiza

Quit Taking it Personally... How? If I think the smallest things are personal? But maybe they aren't and the problem is in my head? How to know the difference?

Mari1978 · Mari1978

When someone chooses to not respect you, you choose to do it for them. XA is now becoming more public with his new gf. (the counsellor from the detox centre) There are just so many things not right about this on so many levels. My rights were never respected nor were the rights of my kids. This tells me 2 thi...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I got a call from the police at 5AM on Sunday morning. My AH was calling saying there were intruders at the house. They arrived but couldn't find him. Could I come over? We have been separated for 4 years. I've tried to move on. Leaving the home I love and the man I once loved to find a serene place for myself....

oceanpine · oceanpine

Just wondering if anyone has info on studies about what is best for kids. I know this is a huge generalization I am asking about, but I have been wondering if it is better for them to be in a house with a father who can't keep it together, and annoys them to the point they don't respect or want to be around him -...

pixie · pixie

My drunk has had the whole week off for the holiday.I shouldn't be feeling like "I can't wait until he goes back to work". I caught him drinking at 8:45 this morning but I'm sure he's done that all week.He got up before I did one day and was gone before 8:30.I got up while he was gone.He came back 4...

el-cee · el-cee

A man I know has just died of alcoholism a couple of days ago. I didnt know the man very well, I know his daughter, who is my daughters friend. His life has been going down the pan for years now. His mother was an alcoholic, his siblings are alcoholics, his other daughter is an alcoholic. He was only in his e...

mjferg · mjferg

The last few days have been a roller coaster of emotions,from depression to fear to sadness ,and feeling angry.I think about my life and the challenges I face and I feel frightened and small.But when I was with my ex I was super responsible,made sure the bills were paid,hid money,had all kinds of plans...

John · John

"Many of us justify our actions by telling ourselves that we're good people who love others, care about them, and do what we do for their own good. When we first hear about detachment, we might think it requires us to stop loving and stop caring. But detachment with love doesn't mean that we cease to ca...

karma13 · karma13

happy thanksgiving ;) it's been a while since I have posted here. I need some esh. I live with my sig other and his 17 year old stepson. The 17 year old young man has a serious gaming addiction. He often times misses school because of his gaming addiction. His father recently started taking the modem on s...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I do tend to get stuck on inventory. I've done some terrible things. I really do need a sponsor so I can admit my shortcomings and move forward. Is this about responsibility? By that I mean, is it possible that through alcoholism, something that could have been great, got trampled into the mud,and I nee...

Carrots317 · Carrots317

I am really grappling here. I just discovered this forum and have read a lot of amazing stories... and all too familiar experiences. Thank you first and foremost for being so open and loving and honest on here. I came here looking for help and I think I came to the right place. Alcoholism is a family dis...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I was able to take care of a large monkey and get that off my back .. very big deal .. paying the money out sucked! Going into the new year .. AWESOME .. this was misstep in October/November. I'm just sooo glad I was able to get this done at this point. Today was the open AA meeting and I really needed to be th...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I've been single and away from A behavior now for 6mo. Life is better and I have healed greatly, done a lot of work on myself and with the help of a professional and al anon steps made progress. I cannot deny that. However, tonight I am frustrated and wondering why it is not at the place "I think it shou...

lc1886 · lc1886

Hi all, I'm glad to have found this group. Where I live there are no groups like this that I know of (I'm in a developing 2nd world country... ) in any event. I'm an alcoholic in recovery, sober for 2 years and 1 month. I don't like sobriety and I don't have regrets of my bad past, therefore I can see it is cl...

Debilyn · Debilyn

My son seemed cold to me as of late. As it turns out he is having a serious problem as one of his best friends has become a meth addict and is nutz. Son allowed B to move into part of his home. YOu can guess it has been hairbrained from the start. Son knew better but as we say, he loves B, he was one of the neatest gu...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I saw that an earthquake hit near Sedona. Everything okay with you?

Jerry F · Jerry F

Nothing is real. Aloha kakahiaka ohana...good morning family just checking in before my morning group and was reading shares cause this is how I start my day. I re-read the share on feelings and responses and another response from long ago came into my memory (still have one...go figure). &qu...

horselover · horselover

Good afternoon everyone! I haven't posted here in soooooo long I had to open a new account LOL Looks like I've been a member on this board since 2009, probably my last post. I'm signed in & ready to read & share posts once again! Good to be back!

MorningGlory · MorningGlory

The MIP Sunday Spiritual Meeting today was about Letting Go. It was a great meeting and has kept me thinking all day! It sounds and looks simple... "LET GO", even the words are tiny and uncomplicated, but for me it involves some pretty LARGE complex concepts. As a sorta newcomer to Al-Anon I...

glad · glad

Just because I "feel" something does NOT make it true. I do not know where the phrase "Follow your Heart" originated from, The Heart is Deceitful above all Things are the words of my higher power documented in the book of all time. One of the things loving myself means to me i...

Cynthia66 · Cynthia66

Hello My name is Cynthia......there isn't enough space on this page for me to write all that is going threw my mind. I am married to my highschool sweetheart who found me again on social media after 28 yrs. He was the one I always wondered where he was or what become of him. I knew he was in the military but un...

mjferg · mjferg

I will admit I have been struggling with some depression,I was feeling pretty bad this morning and I checked my first post, it was only about a month ago,it seems much longer than that!I think the holidays are brutal on the emotions and I am looking forward to January.I had some thoughts last night abou...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

What else can you really do? Read, hit a meeting, detach from the insanity, find gratitude and remember... this too shall pass. Darn expectations, darn holiday expectations. Whew... glad I got that out. Thanks for letting me share with you. TT

Truth · Truth

It is kind of an exciting experience to re-start the inner journey!!! I started to slow down and just observe, listen...slowly starting to get back what I like and what I don't like and my bottom line. Feels freeing!!! So I figured out my addiction....HIM!!! Now I get the codependency!!! I am so tha...

neshema2 · neshema2

Everyone in neighborhood in addition to my kids knew i was sick w/my back....everyone....and even before Thanksgiving, I got "feel better" phone calls, and knocks on my door when they knew I was up...... Thanksgiving I spent resting, trying to heal so i can work on Friday and i am slowly h...

Luiza · Luiza

Less than one week ago I was writing here how difficult it was for me to take the decision to quit my Sunday job. I have been thinking about it for a long time but I didn't do it before because I was too worried about putting other people's needs first and also worried about the money. Today, at the end of the...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I can't sleep late .. late for me has been 330AM LOL .. it's all ok .. when I do sleep I'm actually sleeping vs flailing around .. lol. It's solid hours in a row just not as many as I'd like. I crash early too so I'm sure that has something to do with it. This is the first holiday's in our new place and I'm still...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Really now!! should I forget?? I dare not to. Doing Cloudy's suggestion of my Happy Hoppy dance and as I look at it and feeling so very grateful for finding MIP and all of you. Special Thanks for you John as this is your mind and heart child; a precious gift that comes with so many loving and supporti...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

All I can say is my 37 year old son has been sober for 9 months and I'm really good with it. Might not be what he wanted but he is paying big time for his choices. I could have enabled that night, I could have done something......but I let go and just prayed he wouldn't hurt anyone driving and that the police...

Southerngirl · Southerngirl

I'm starting a yoga class tomorrow. I think this will be a really good companion to al-anon. Now, if I can just learn to find my own strengths, focus on my own progress and keep my eyes off of everyone else, breathe deeply, relax, dare to try things that look too hard, be gentle with myself when I can't do so...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Down under festivities start early. I feel completely anti drinking. I don't want to be around alcohol and its fans at all. I dont want my kids around it at all and I feel morally judgemental of all the silly jbarbecues we've been invited to this month. Bring the kids is the tagline...um,NO losers, kids...

mjferg · mjferg

I have always fussed over Thanksgiving,well this year I came down with a stomach flu on Wednesday.I was so worried,how would this all get done!Well my teenage daughter cooked mostly everything.I laid on the couch and gave some instruction,the food turned out wonderful,I was able to eat a little pla...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and one continued in my Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG group. A recent newcomer "GOT IT"!! And she was calm and smiling and confident this evening as she shared about getting "detachment". Loved it!! Gives me renewed hope and trust in that our program does work over a...

lizzieo35 · lizzieo35

I have 4 kids who have been deeply scared by their fathers actions due to him being an alcoholic. I hate him for all the abuse over the years verbal mainly but with mental and physical abuse thrown in for good measure!!! Don't get me wrong I do love him just hate the drunk. He has been told by the GP that he is k...

Mattie · Mattie

For reasons I won't go into, Thanksgiving was always going to be a huge challenge this year - there's another big tragedy going on on the side. But then you may remember I was worried about my ex-AH's downhill slide. He showed up for our big dinner and I could tell he had been drinking. He was much loude...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I had a weird moment today. It isn't al-anon but it's how I am applying al-anon to my life, I hope that's OK. I've expressed here before the fact that I have a gambling addiction. It went postal in my late teens and early 20's and then I went to gamblers anonymous a few times and learned how to arrest it. It wa...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Would appreciate ESH on sticking with boundaries in unclear situations, or choosing to overlook boundaries due to lack of certainty. The next to last time my AH fell off the wagon, I told him I would not stay in the house with him if he drank again, because he turns into a mean drunk to me. My AH's priest al...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi - In the past I gave my A an ultimatum about drinking, prior to alanon. Today we are going for a lovely dinner with family where almost everyone will be drinking except me. I have given it up more than 20 years ago. I see alcohol as a destructive force however I guess some people can be social drinker...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

For many, Thanksgiving is a joyous holiday. For me, and others, it is dreaded because of Tyanksgivings of the past and how the alcoholic uses it as yet another excuse to drink. I made it through the day and am thankful for that. After spending the night away, I came home. I told the AW I was only spendi...

neshema2 · neshema2

I get back spasms (most likely due to the beatings and the anxiety /ptsd that followed) anyway, I can "turn" wrong and i feel something like "grab" and muscles in my lower back seize up.....this attack is one of the worst since years.....pain is unrelenting...I have meds for i...

milkwood · milkwood

Happy Thanksgiving

lgnutah · lgnutah

Our unemployed, divorced, alcoholic, past (we think) cocaine abusing, presently prescription drug abusing daughter lives a hundred miles away. She has a roomate who is A and a drug addict. A married older man supports her financially. To give you an idea of the emotional roller coaster we have be...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

My daughter is home this weekend for Thanksgiving. She told me some really sad things about her roomate and her ex boyfriend. Her roommate started college right after her dad was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident. Her cousin also committed suicide before she left. How awful. But how strong she is to...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

First and foremost HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! It has been a wild month .. I do not know if I am coming or going. This is weird to say .. I'm divorced however I'm not divorced legally if my XAH dropped dead tomorrow we would be married, no divorce decree has been signed. I also celebrated another birthday! XA...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I was reading back to see when I was single a year ago, what I was doing for Thanksgiving and Christmas and since I have been on MIP the last 3 plus years it is easy to read back here as if I was journaling and track me. I was up north with my ex in-laws and exAH to see my youngest for dinner, which she is now ba...

mjferg · mjferg

I am feeling sad and stressed this thanksgiving.It just kind of hit me today!Besides ending my relationship,I have other things going on in my life.This year is completely different from previous years.It is just my youngest daughter and I this year.Oh, I have 3 other kids,they are grown,and have k...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello everyone-- It's been a long time since I've posted, although I come to these boards and learn from all of you each time I do. I wanted to share how grateful I am to have found this site (thank you John); which led me to online meetings, which led me to a sponsor who has helped me immensely, which led me...

MooseWork · MooseWork

Dear all, My wife is in rehab at the moment and it is hard. I was the only one working in our house, and now I have adopted the role of single parent to 3 kids. Life inside our home has been typical alcoholic hell for years now. I was very excited when she entered rehab, it was voluntary and a true first step...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I had been kidding myself for the last 2 years. She would get better, then worse. Had a few breaking points and what I thought were breakthroughs. This past Sunday my AW and I went to breakfast. She told me that she had been to the doctor and the doctor had asked her to come back for another blood test th...

luv123 · luv123

The ism- I have heard : ISM "incredibly sick mind, I separate myself (i.e. isolate-think I am unique/better or less than), I seak misery/martyrdom" Anyone have any more?

aquamom23 · aquamom23

are truly none of my business. Having been an inventory taker forever, only now its guided, I have tended to probe another's mind many times,always trying to understand, analysing and weighing,probing some more. Great skill for journalism,absolutely crap skill for interpersonal relationship...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a bit numb and a bit sad and a bit sorry for myself and at the same time im fuming. This drama and chaos is not welcome in my life. I never invited it. I feel like moving away to an island, no kidding. I dont like being a mother right now. Who says this is what weve got to put up with just because we gave birth a lo...

tpotterf · tpotterf

This is the time of year we are to give thanks for people in our lives. Although I do not know any of you personally, I wanted to post this sincere thanks for your wisdom, time and kindness. In times of great duress and sadness, I was blessed to come here and have contact with some caring people who gave me...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My Story (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to all of this and warn in advance this will probably be quite long. I am 29 and divorced with three children. I was born into a diseased and mentally ill family. My father was an addict- heroine, crack, alcohol, all of it. He moved my brother and I all over and other than that we lived in...	kspec85	5	618	Dec 4, 2014 by Mattie
	it stinks being sick... (Preview) I have been both sick & tired lately. I guess I was again even concerned about my sanity. One thing is for sure that I have a virus that cannot be fixed by any kind of medicine or anti-biotic at all. I am just grateful that I think I am on the better end of it. I think I am going to survive. Sleep on the other h...	Hoot Nanny	1	466	Dec 4, 2014 by andromeda
	My first post (Preview) I've been reading these forums for awhile now, and I am ready to share my story. I'm not sure what it is, exactly, I'm looking for though. Maybe just to vent? Maybe for some words of encouragement? Maybe advice? Maybe to know that I'm not alone.... Anyways, I'll start from the beginning. Here it g...	frustrationshigh	9	763	Dec 4, 2014 by neshema2
	Truly Devastating ! (Preview) I have never been on a chat room of any type before and I am trying to think of how to summarize the story of the devastation my family has been through over the past two years. For whatever reason, TODAY was the day I was inspired to start researching alanon? Don't know why today...but here I am. I welco...	chatz	11	661	Dec 4, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Thoughts on reestablishing contact w/ a--with given boundaries (Preview) I have written many letters to my A during the last 6 months of our break up, none of which I have sent. This last one, I have been considering. It is basically an attempt to reach out and reestablish contact, on the premise to have closure and resolution for our messy break up, with the condition that he is...	astallaslions	10	628	Dec 3, 2014 by neshema2
	Feeling connected to each other and my balance with al-anon (Preview) Since I have found al-anon I feel more balanced and connected to my fellow human beings, whether it is a homeless person, an addict, a child, or someone of means. I can see myself in them and them in me even if I like or dislike what they are doing. I have learned when I usually have a strong reaction to anoth...	Breakingfree	6	734	Dec 3, 2014 by neshema2
	Friendships (Preview) I have been in alanon for 3 years and it seems like I am getting more program friends and less friends outside the program. Is this something that starts to happen in your lives? I let go of one friendship who was really narcissistic and everything was all about her so I feel good about leaving that frie...	willowtree	6	326	Dec 3, 2014 by Debilyn
	How to QTIP (Preview) Quit Taking it Personally... How? If I think the smallest things are personal? But maybe they aren't and the problem is in my head? How to know the difference?	Luiza	21	2702	Dec 3, 2014 by el-cee
	Boundaries (Preview) When someone chooses to not respect you, you choose to do it for them. XA is now becoming more public with his new gf. (the counsellor from the detox centre) There are just so many things not right about this on so many levels. My rights were never respected nor were the rights of my kids. This tells me 2 thi...	Mari1978	8	666	Dec 3, 2014 by hotrod
	i can't seem to get away (Preview) I got a call from the police at 5AM on Sunday morning. My AH was calling saying there were intruders at the house. They arrived but couldn't find him. Could I come over? We have been separated for 4 years. I've tried to move on. Leaving the home I love and the man I once loved to find a serene place for myself....	alexmaui	7	816	Dec 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	What's best for kids (Preview) Just wondering if anyone has info on studies about what is best for kids. I know this is a huge generalization I am asking about, but I have been wondering if it is better for them to be in a house with a father who can't keep it together, and annoys them to the point they don't respect or want to be around him -...	oceanpine	21	947	Dec 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	the holiday are just starting! (Preview) My drunk has had the whole week off for the holiday.I shouldn't be feeling like "I can't wait until he goes back to work". I caught him drinking at 8:45 this morning but I'm sure he's done that all week.He got up before I did one day and was gone before 8:30.I got up while he was gone.He came back 4...	pixie	16	993	Dec 2, 2014 by pixie
	another perspective (Preview) A man I know has just died of alcoholism a couple of days ago. I didnt know the man very well, I know his daughter, who is my daughters friend. His life has been going down the pan for years now. His mother was an alcoholic, his siblings are alcoholics, his other daughter is an alcoholic. He was only in his e...	el-cee	13	476	Dec 2, 2014 by el-cee
	feelings of inadequacy (Preview) The last few days have been a roller coaster of emotions,from depression to fear to sadness ,and feeling angry.I think about my life and the challenges I face and I feel frightened and small.But when I was with my ex I was super responsible,made sure the bills were paid,hid money,had all kinds of plans...	mjferg	9	723	Dec 2, 2014 by el-cee
	Detachment with Love (Preview) "Many of us justify our actions by telling ourselves that we're good people who love others, care about them, and do what we do for their own good. When we first hear about detachment, we might think it requires us to stop loving and stop caring. But detachment with love doesn't mean that we cease to ca...	John	16	2483	Dec 2, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Gaming addiction (Preview) happy thanksgiving ;) it's been a while since I have posted here. I need some esh. I live with my sig other and his 17 year old stepson. The 17 year old young man has a serious gaming addiction. He often times misses school because of his gaming addiction. His father recently started taking the modem on s...	karma13	6	2500	Dec 2, 2014 by LinSC
	feeling confused.step 4 related (Preview) I do tend to get stuck on inventory. I've done some terrible things. I really do need a sponsor so I can admit my shortcomings and move forward. Is this about responsibility? By that I mean, is it possible that through alcoholism, something that could have been great, got trampled into the mud,and I nee...	aquamom23	6	561	Dec 2, 2014 by PP
	Did I just marry an alcoholic? (Preview) I am really grappling here. I just discovered this forum and have read a lot of amazing stories... and all too familiar experiences. Thank you first and foremost for being so open and loving and honest on here. I came here looking for help and I think I came to the right place. Alcoholism is a family dis...	Carrots317	9	955	Dec 1, 2014 by astallaslions
	Already starting a great morning!! (Preview) I was able to take care of a large monkey and get that off my back .. very big deal .. paying the money out sucked! Going into the new year .. AWESOME .. this was misstep in October/November. I'm just sooo glad I was able to get this done at this point. Today was the open AA meeting and I really needed to be th...	SerenityRUS	4	758	Dec 1, 2014 by cloudyskies
	need advice from those who have separated (Preview) I've been single and away from A behavior now for 6mo. Life is better and I have healed greatly, done a lot of work on myself and with the help of a professional and al anon steps made progress. I cannot deny that. However, tonight I am frustrated and wondering why it is not at the place "I think it shou...	giraffe13	18	894	Dec 1, 2014 by giraffe13
	In Recovery, Need to Learn Coping Skills Living with another Alcoholic (Preview) Hi all, I'm glad to have found this group. Where I live there are no groups like this that I know of (I'm in a developing 2nd world country... ) in any event. I'm an alcoholic in recovery, sober for 2 years and 1 month. I don't like sobriety and I don't have regrets of my bad past, therefore I can see it is cl...	lc1886	8	793	Dec 1, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	He is a meth addict ugh (Preview) My son seemed cold to me as of late. As it turns out he is having a serious problem as one of his best friends has become a meth addict and is nutz. Son allowed B to move into part of his home. YOu can guess it has been hairbrained from the start. Son knew better but as we say, he loves B, he was one of the neatest gu...	Debilyn	12	1042	Dec 1, 2014 by Flower49
	Cathy and Andromeda? (Preview) I saw that an earthquake hit near Sedona. Everything okay with you?	grateful2be	4	523	Dec 1, 2014 by andromeda
	If its driven by alcohol (Preview) Nothing is real. Aloha kakahiaka ohana...good morning family just checking in before my morning group and was reading shares cause this is how I start my day. I re-read the share on feelings and responses and another response from long ago came into my memory (still have one...go figure). &qu...	Jerry F	10	898	Dec 1, 2014 by el-cee
	Back again (Preview) Good afternoon everyone! I haven't posted here in soooooo long I had to open a new account LOL Looks like I've been a member on this board since 2009, probably my last post. I'm signed in & ready to read & share posts once again! Good to be back!	horselover	7	421	Dec 1, 2014 by PP
	Larger than it appears (Preview) The MIP Sunday Spiritual Meeting today was about Letting Go. It was a great meeting and has kept me thinking all day! It sounds and looks simple... "LET GO", even the words are tiny and uncomplicated, but for me it involves some pretty LARGE complex concepts. As a sorta newcomer to Al-Anon I...	MorningGlory	6	555	Nov 30, 2014 by hotrod
	I love my own heart! Wow (Preview) Just because I "feel" something does NOT make it true. I do not know where the phrase "Follow your Heart" originated from, The Heart is Deceitful above all Things are the words of my higher power documented in the book of all time. One of the things loving myself means to me i...	glad	9	684	Nov 30, 2014 by giraffe13
	Is it my fault like he says? (Preview) Hello My name is Cynthia......there isn't enough space on this page for me to write all that is going threw my mind. I am married to my highschool sweetheart who found me again on social media after 28 yrs. He was the one I always wondered where he was or what become of him. I knew he was in the military but un...	Cynthia66	11	867	Nov 30, 2014 by Mirandac
	keeping it real (Preview) I will admit I have been struggling with some depression,I was feeling pretty bad this morning and I checked my first post, it was only about a month ago,it seems much longer than that!I think the holidays are brutal on the emotions and I am looking forward to January.I had some thoughts last night abou...	mjferg	5	619	Nov 30, 2014 by neshema2
	I'm sitting with the feelings (Preview) What else can you really do? Read, hit a meeting, detach from the insanity, find gratitude and remember... this too shall pass. Darn expectations, darn holiday expectations. Whew... glad I got that out. Thanks for letting me share with you. TT	tiredtonite	12	827	Nov 30, 2014 by grateful2be
	Re-starting the inner journey.... (Preview) It is kind of an exciting experience to re-start the inner journey!!! I started to slow down and just observe, listen...slowly starting to get back what I like and what I don't like and my bottom line. Feels freeing!!! So I figured out my addiction....HIM!!! Now I get the codependency!!! I am so tha...	Truth	21	908	Nov 30, 2014 by oceanpine
	Well i wasn't expecting anything but it still felt bad (Preview) Everyone in neighborhood in addition to my kids knew i was sick w/my back....everyone....and even before Thanksgiving, I got "feel better" phone calls, and knocks on my door when they knew I was up...... Thanksgiving I spent resting, trying to heal so i can work on Friday and i am slowly h...	neshema2	16	757	Nov 29, 2014 by neshema2
	I closed one door. HP opened me another (better) one. (Preview) Less than one week ago I was writing here how difficult it was for me to take the decision to quit my Sunday job. I have been thinking about it for a long time but I didn't do it before because I was too worried about putting other people's needs first and also worried about the money. Today, at the end of the...	Luiza	10	847	Nov 29, 2014 by cloudyskies
	New levels .. new things :) (Preview) I can't sleep late .. late for me has been 330AM LOL .. it's all ok .. when I do sleep I'm actually sleeping vs flailing around .. lol. It's solid hours in a row just not as many as I'd like. I crash early too so I'm sure that has something to do with it. This is the first holiday's in our new place and I'm still...	SerenityRUS	6	627	Nov 29, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Happy Thanksgiving Family (Preview) Really now!! should I forget?? I dare not to. Doing Cloudy's suggestion of my Happy Hoppy dance and as I look at it and feeling so very grateful for finding MIP and all of you. Special Thanks for you John as this is your mind and heart child; a precious gift that comes with so many loving and supporti...	Jerry F	10	559	Nov 29, 2014 by neshema2
	My Thoughts (Preview) All I can say is my 37 year old son has been sober for 9 months and I'm really good with it. Might not be what he wanted but he is paying big time for his choices. I could have enabled that night, I could have done something......but I let go and just prayed he wouldn't hurt anyone driving and that the police...	Cathyinaz	11	641	Nov 29, 2014 by bud
	Yoga, anyone? (Preview) I'm starting a yoga class tomorrow. I think this will be a really good companion to al-anon. Now, if I can just learn to find my own strengths, focus on my own progress and keep my eyes off of everyone else, breathe deeply, relax, dare to try things that look too hard, be gentle with myself when I can't do so...	Southerngirl	9	743	Nov 29, 2014 by bud
	a case of rebellion (Preview) Down under festivities start early. I feel completely anti drinking. I don't want to be around alcohol and its fans at all. I dont want my kids around it at all and I feel morally judgemental of all the silly jbarbecues we've been invited to this month. Bring the kids is the tagline...um,NO losers, kids...	aquamom23	4	624	Nov 28, 2014 by aquamom23
	a lesson in control (Preview) I have always fussed over Thanksgiving,well this year I came down with a stomach flu on Wednesday.I was so worried,how would this all get done!Well my teenage daughter cooked mostly everything.I laid on the couch and gave some instruction,the food turned out wonderful,I was able to eat a little pla...	mjferg	6	565	Nov 28, 2014 by mjferg
	I just love to watch miracles (Preview) and one continued in my Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG group. A recent newcomer "GOT IT"!! And she was calm and smiling and confident this evening as she shared about getting "detachment". Loved it!! Gives me renewed hope and trust in that our program does work over a...	Jerry F	8	605	Nov 28, 2014 by Jerry F
	destroyed (Preview) I have 4 kids who have been deeply scared by their fathers actions due to him being an alcoholic. I hate him for all the abuse over the years verbal mainly but with mental and physical abuse thrown in for good measure!!! Don't get me wrong I do love him just hate the drunk. He has been told by the GP that he is k...	lizzieo35	26	662	Nov 28, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Made it through Thanksgiving (Preview) For reasons I won't go into, Thanksgiving was always going to be a huge challenge this year - there's another big tragedy going on on the side. But then you may remember I was worried about my ex-AH's downhill slide. He showed up for our big dinner and I could tell he had been drinking. He was much loude...	Mattie	2	563	Nov 28, 2014 by neshema2
	the gambler (Preview) I had a weird moment today. It isn't al-anon but it's how I am applying al-anon to my life, I hope that's OK. I've expressed here before the fact that I have a gambling addiction. It went postal in my late teens and early 20's and then I went to gamblers anonymous a few times and learned how to arrest it. It wa...	missmeliss	20	1037	Nov 28, 2014 by el-cee
	Sticking to boundaries when things are unclear (Preview) Would appreciate ESH on sticking with boundaries in unclear situations, or choosing to overlook boundaries due to lack of certainty. The next to last time my AH fell off the wagon, I told him I would not stay in the house with him if he drank again, because he turns into a mean drunk to me. My AH's priest al...	oceanpine	12	728	Nov 28, 2014 by pinkchip
	I think this is progress (Preview) Hi - In the past I gave my A an ultimatum about drinking, prior to alanon. Today we are going for a lovely dinner with family where almost everyone will be drinking except me. I have given it up more than 20 years ago. I see alcohol as a destructive force however I guess some people can be social drinker...	Lyne	5	624	Nov 28, 2014 by giraffe13
	I am thankful today is over (Preview) For many, Thanksgiving is a joyous holiday. For me, and others, it is dreaded because of Tyanksgivings of the past and how the alcoholic uses it as yet another excuse to drink. I made it through the day and am thankful for that. After spending the night away, I came home. I told the AW I was only spendi...	hdftby100	4	800	Nov 28, 2014 by Debilyn
	NEED some alanon hugs (Preview) I get back spasms (most likely due to the beatings and the anxiety /ptsd that followed) anyway, I can "turn" wrong and i feel something like "grab" and muscles in my lower back seize up.....this attack is one of the worst since years.....pain is unrelenting...I have meds for i...	neshema2	22	1029	Nov 28, 2014 by DavidG
	It feels good to say…. (Preview) Happy Thanksgiving	milkwood	7	551	Nov 27, 2014 by cloudyskies
	34 yr old A daughter keeps us on an emotional roller coaster and we want to get off (Preview) Our unemployed, divorced, alcoholic, past (we think) cocaine abusing, presently prescription drug abusing daughter lives a hundred miles away. She has a roomate who is A and a drug addict. A married older man supports her financially. To give you an idea of the emotional roller coaster we have be...	lgnutah	10	852	Nov 27, 2014 by neshema2
	Feeling so sad...yet thankful at the same time (Preview) My daughter is home this weekend for Thanksgiving. She told me some really sad things about her roomate and her ex boyfriend. Her roommate started college right after her dad was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident. Her cousin also committed suicide before she left. How awful. But how strong she is to...	Newlife girl	5	1018	Nov 27, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Very busy .. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! (Preview) First and foremost HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! It has been a wild month .. I do not know if I am coming or going. This is weird to say .. I'm divorced however I'm not divorced legally if my XAH dropped dead tomorrow we would be married, no divorce decree has been signed. I also celebrated another birthday! XA...	SerenityRUS	4	685	Nov 27, 2014 by PP
	What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving season??? (Preview) I was reading back to see when I was single a year ago, what I was doing for Thanksgiving and Christmas and since I have been on MIP the last 3 plus years it is easy to read back here as if I was journaling and track me. I was up north with my ex in-laws and exAH to see my youngest for dinner, which she is now ba...	Breakingfree	10	861	Nov 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sometimes doing the right thing is hard! (Preview) I am feeling sad and stressed this thanksgiving.It just kind of hit me today!Besides ending my relationship,I have other things going on in my life.This year is completely different from previous years.It is just my youngest daughter and I this year.Oh, I have 3 other kids,they are grown,and have k...	mjferg	8	743	Nov 27, 2014 by pinkchip
	Happy Thanksgiving MIP and it's been a while.... (Preview) Hello everyone-- It's been a long time since I've posted, although I come to these boards and learn from all of you each time I do. I wanted to share how grateful I am to have found this site (thank you John); which led me to online meetings, which led me to a sponsor who has helped me immensely, which led me...	yanksfan51	11	686	Nov 27, 2014 by pinkchip
	Having trouble being an emotional support to wife in rehab (Preview) Dear all, My wife is in rehab at the moment and it is hard. I was the only one working in our house, and now I have adopted the role of single parent to 3 kids. Life inside our home has been typical alcoholic hell for years now. I was very excited when she entered rehab, it was voluntary and a true first step...	MooseWork	17	788	Nov 27, 2014 by Newlife girl
	I just left... (Preview) I had been kidding myself for the last 2 years. She would get better, then worse. Had a few breaking points and what I thought were breakthroughs. This past Sunday my AW and I went to breakfast. She told me that she had been to the doctor and the doctor had asked her to come back for another blood test th...	hdftby100	11	1044	Nov 27, 2014 by tiredtonite
	ACRONYMs for ISM (Preview) The ism- I have heard : ISM "incredibly sick mind, I separate myself (i.e. isolate-think I am unique/better or less than), I seak misery/martyrdom" Anyone have any more?	luv123	19	3857	Nov 26, 2014 by cloudyskies
	the mysterious workings of addicted minds (Preview) are truly none of my business. Having been an inventory taker forever, only now its guided, I have tended to probe another's mind many times,always trying to understand, analysing and weighing,probing some more. Great skill for journalism,absolutely crap skill for interpersonal relationship...	aquamom23	4	614	Nov 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	feeling sorry for myself (Preview) Im a bit numb and a bit sad and a bit sorry for myself and at the same time im fuming. This drama and chaos is not welcome in my life. I never invited it. I feel like moving away to an island, no kidding. I dont like being a mother right now. Who says this is what weve got to put up with just because we gave birth a lo...	el-cee	8	803	Nov 26, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Thankful for this group full of loving wise people. (Preview) This is the time of year we are to give thanks for people in our lives. Although I do not know any of you personally, I wanted to post this sincere thanks for your wisdom, time and kindness. In times of great duress and sadness, I was blessed to come here and have contact with some caring people who gave me...	tpotterf	8	564	Nov 26, 2014 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.