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I think this is progress
(Preview)
Hi - In the past I gave my A an ultimatum about drinking, prior to alanon. Today we are going for a lovely dinner with family where almost everyone will be drinking except me. I have given it up more than 20 years ago. I see alcohol as a destructive force however I guess some people can be social drinker...
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Lyne
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5
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507
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I am thankful today is over
(Preview)
For many, Thanksgiving is a joyous holiday. For me, and others, it is dreaded because of Tyanksgivings of the past and how the alcoholic uses it as yet another excuse to drink. I made it through the day and am thankful for that. After spending the night away, I came home. I told the AW I was only spendi...
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hdftby100
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4
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673
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NEED some alanon hugs
(Preview)
I get back spasms (most likely due to the beatings and the anxiety /ptsd that followed) anyway, I can "turn" wrong and i feel something like "grab" and muscles in my lower back seize up.....this attack is one of the worst since years.....pain is unrelenting...I have meds for i...
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neshema2
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22
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915
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It feels good to say….
(Preview)
Happy Thanksgiving
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milkwood
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7
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439
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34 yr old A daughter keeps us on an emotional roller coaster and we want to get off
(Preview)
Our unemployed, divorced, alcoholic, past (we think) cocaine abusing, presently prescription drug abusing daughter lives a hundred miles away. She has a roomate who is A and a drug addict. A married older man supports her financially. To give you an idea of the emotional roller coaster we have be...
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lgnutah
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10
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719
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Feeling so sad...yet thankful at the same time
(Preview)
My daughter is home this weekend for Thanksgiving. She told me some really sad things about her roomate and her ex boyfriend. Her roommate started college right after her dad was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident. Her cousin also committed suicide before she left. How awful. But how strong she is to...
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Newlife girl
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5
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902
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Very busy .. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
(Preview)
First and foremost HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! It has been a wild month .. I do not know if I am coming or going. This is weird to say .. I'm divorced however I'm not divorced legally if my XAH dropped dead tomorrow we would be married, no divorce decree has been signed. I also celebrated another birthday! XA...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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566
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What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving season???
(Preview)
I was reading back to see when I was single a year ago, what I was doing for Thanksgiving and Christmas and since I have been on MIP the last 3 plus years it is easy to read back here as if I was journaling and track me. I was up north with my ex in-laws and exAH to see my youngest for dinner, which she is now ba...
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Breakingfree
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10
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763
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Sometimes doing the right thing is hard!
(Preview)
I am feeling sad and stressed this thanksgiving.It just kind of hit me today!Besides ending my relationship,I have other things going on in my life.This year is completely different from previous years.It is just my youngest daughter and I this year.Oh, I have 3 other kids,they are grown,and have k...
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mjferg
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8
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625
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Happy Thanksgiving MIP and it's been a while....
(Preview)
Hello everyone-- It's been a long time since I've posted, although I come to these boards and learn from all of you each time I do. I wanted to share how grateful I am to have found this site (thank you John); which led me to online meetings, which led me to a sponsor who has helped me immensely, which led me...
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yanksfan51
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11
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576
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Having trouble being an emotional support to wife in rehab
(Preview)
Dear all, My wife is in rehab at the moment and it is hard. I was the only one working in our house, and now I have adopted the role of single parent to 3 kids. Life inside our home has been typical alcoholic hell for years now. I was very excited when she entered rehab, it was voluntary and a true first step...
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MooseWork
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17
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670
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I just left...
(Preview)
I had been kidding myself for the last 2 years. She would get better, then worse. Had a few breaking points and what I thought were breakthroughs. This past Sunday my AW and I went to breakfast. She told me that she had been to the doctor and the doctor had asked her to come back for another blood test th...
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hdftby100
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11
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929
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ACRONYMs for ISM
(Preview)
The ism- I have heard : ISM "incredibly sick mind, I separate myself (i.e. isolate-think I am unique/better or less than), I seak misery/martyrdom" Anyone have any more?
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luv123
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19
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3569
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the mysterious workings of addicted minds
(Preview)
are truly none of my business. Having been an inventory taker forever, only now its guided, I have tended to probe another's mind many times,always trying to understand, analysing and weighing,probing some more. Great skill for journalism,absolutely crap skill for interpersonal relationship...
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aquamom23
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4
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480
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feeling sorry for myself
(Preview)
Im a bit numb and a bit sad and a bit sorry for myself and at the same time im fuming. This drama and chaos is not welcome in my life. I never invited it. I feel like moving away to an island, no kidding. I dont like being a mother right now. Who says this is what weve got to put up with just because we gave birth a lo...
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el-cee
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8
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701
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Thankful for this group full of loving wise people.
(Preview)
This is the time of year we are to give thanks for people in our lives. Although I do not know any of you personally, I wanted to post this sincere thanks for your wisdom, time and kindness. In times of great duress and sadness, I was blessed to come here and have contact with some caring people who gave me...
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tpotterf
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8
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459
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I didn't prepare for this.
(Preview)
Far out. One of the main reasons I was so determined to stay in this town, right now, was so that my child could finish her final year of primary school with her class mates and do graduation etc. It is NOT easy sharing a room and a bed with my kid, she is restless, she snores, she is ridiculously flatulent, s...
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missmeliss
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22
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1011
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Scared. My husband coming home after five days in rehab
(Preview)
He is talking about continued therapy, but says everyone there says they hate AA. He wont say much about detox or what we can do together after therapy. I am so nervous, I feel sick.
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Kath F
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7
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660
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Plopped into chaos and I feel content
(Preview)
As many of you know, we had a home flood about 3 weeks ago, destroying lots and causing us to make makeshift bedrooms in other parts of our home. We live in a small home with 4 adults, 2 cats and an 85 pound dog whom I have lovingly nicknamed TRex. There really is stuff everywhere and we are walking on bare c...
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PP
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17
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783
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new to this
(Preview)
Hello I am new here, I feel alone and I've never attended a meeting so all this is completely new to me. I've decided I can no longer deal with this on my own and just need to vent to someone who actually understands! I've been married for 6 yrs to an alcoholic and I'm at my wits end. He cannot function without...
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lostandbroken
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14
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808
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another crisis
(Preview)
My son has been doing great recently, a job, home with girlfriend, still drinking but no drama for a while until this weekend. Drama came again and it seems so unfair. I want a break, I got a break, he got a break, we all did, from the drama but while alcohol is still there alive and kicking the drama is only a...
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el-cee
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19
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979
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Not a very good Sunday.
(Preview)
Hi, I haven't post much lately. Been busy making my life the way I want and recovering. My daughter has been up and down. She was unhappy today because she spent Sat with her dad and grandparents, slept over and had to come in the morning. I have no complaints about ex, he has been having contact with her, l...
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Luiza
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6
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765
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life changing event
(Preview)
Sometimes things happen to us that totally rock our world. A week ago I had an incident happen that took a third of one finger and the tip of another. As I sit here typing using alternate digits, I reflect on how this loss will effect the rest of my life. I'm right handed and the injury is to my right hand, mos...
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likemyheart
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14
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659
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How will you remember me?
(Preview)
This is from one of my blogs. Thought ya might find something of use in it. :) I wonder sometimes how you will remember me, after I'm gone. Certainly I do not plan to leave this world anytime soon. I'd like to think I'll be here for a while yet, but I am close to 60. I'm a heavy smoker. I've already had one hea...
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Wolfie55
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4
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2488
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When people bring outside stuff to alanon
(Preview)
I go to an alanon book study every wednesday evening and we focus on one alanon book and all share with eachother. Similar to alanon meetings but a little different. Well, there is a guy there who talks a lot about his childhood trauma and it is difficult because I think he needs a therapist more than alan...
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willowtree
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13
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606
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I just have a minute...
(Preview)
Is it possible to have 3 or more good days in a row? Nothing is really getting me down. I did go to a funeral service today & I cried but found myself in my favorite coffee shop shooting the breeze. The owner is turning out to be a pretty good friend. I hope she finds success in everything she does. I will b...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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361
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How I learned to Mind My Own Business!
(Preview)
I was walking by the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting "13, 13, 13..." The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked in to see what was going on. Someone poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting, "...
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Breakingfree
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15
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927
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Older and Maybe Wiser
(Preview)
I was reading some of my old posts, back in 2012. I didn't see any from 2013. I don't think I was here at all that year. I was busy, getting older and maybe wiser. In September of 2012, I was having a conversation on a popular social media site. I had left the recovery house I was working in, I had a job but I want...
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Wolfie55
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4
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559
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Problems with dating a girl in AA
(Preview)
good afternoon, i wonder if someone can give me any pointers... a bit of background: so i have been dating a 32 year old girl for the last 5 months and she is coming to 5 years sober, which is great. she underwent a 6 month rehab course and then has undergone the 12 step programme, regularly attends a couple...
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johnny
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13
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714
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7 Days....
(Preview)
Without a cigarette! Next month is my 56th birthday, my 25th sober anniversary, and the holidays... what better gift could I give myself than stop smoking which has been reducing my quality of life for the past few years? Keep me in your prayers as this is so very important I do at this time. Just 7 day...
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John
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16
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756
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Thank you Al-anon
(Preview)
A little thing that happened on Sunday made me sit up and realise how utterly changed I am now. AH's son had arranged to drop by at 11am to visit, I had other plans and was going out. The big a-ha Al-anon moment was that AH had decided to drink all night and get drunk as a skunk! So staggered into bed (we h...
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SunshineGirl
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6
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616
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what do you say when you feel like there is not much to say...
(Preview)
I am struggling w/ the right words to say on here sometimes. I always want to say something profound & meaningful. I always wonder if I am saying something that may not be approved. I just guess I will wing it. I have been thinking about my Papa lately. He is on my mind especially this time of year. Actu...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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633
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Am I being judgmental? Or is my son's disease trying to manipulate me, again?
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Hi - I'd like to ask for a sanity check on something that's happened several times now. My adult son is not using drugs, but he's not working any kind of program - he's a smart guy, but the disease has been mostly in control and his bad choices on financial matters and other day-to-day stuff have outweigh...
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texas yankee
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46
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1497
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Just when I think I have it all figured out.....
(Preview)
So, things have taken a turn in my own mind and I really need to re-evaluate what is going on right now. I was determined to end my marriage and file for divorce right after the holidays. We're having some financial struggles right now and it's really putting things into perspective over where I will b...
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andromeda
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14
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837
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how did you find your sponsor
(Preview)
HI! Please share about finding, choosing, and approaching your sponsor. Thank you!
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josiehere
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9
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599
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A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
(Preview)
Thanksgiving was a time for me to shine!Oh I was a little Martha Stewart!Everything was perfect,the house was spotless.My mom complaining she was starving, was it ready yet!My dad yelling at the kids, and he couldn't hear the parade! I cooked for 2 days!By the time we sat down to eat I was sick.Inside...
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mjferg
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6
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609
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Things are destabilizing
(Preview)
My A never stopped drinking, but after we separated ten years ago the situation got pretty stable. He never showed up visibly drunk, and we worked out an arrangement where he saw our son twice a week. Since he's a binge-drinker, he has long periods of sobriety. He even took care of our son (who wasn't...
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Mattie
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6
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686
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Opinions about drinking at home please??
(Preview)
Hi all This may be a controversial topic but I just wanted to canvas some opinions. I made a decision for myself a while ago that I would not drink at all in the house. My AH is an active A but most of the time he too try's hard to not drink in the house. I suppose my motive at the time was that everytime he asked me...
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Tash2
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14
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814
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Creating fantasies in my head to cope with the pain
(Preview)
I am starting to wonder if it is a bad thing to create fantasies in my head in order to not obsess over my AH and all our problems. I know it makes me feel better, and I admit I am kinda flirting with someone. This someone is a single man with a great job. Recently he mentioned he wants to travel and wants to know...
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Newlife girl
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31
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841
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Wanna know if this program works?
(Preview)
That was a response my sponsor gave to me when I was repeating "this doesn't work for me" over and over and over....whaaaa whaaa whaa. Well that is how I found out the program works...because I gave away something I felt wasn't working for me and it worked for them and I got thanked fo...
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Jerry F
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7
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772
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Thanks for the "Take what you like" option
(Preview)
Hello all. I've been reading here for a while and I just want to say thanks for letting me be a fly on the wall. Being able to read and listen have been invaluable to me. I started attending a local group several months ago and just last week talked to the group leader about being my sponsor. I'm sure I'm not a...
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Southerngirl
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8
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658
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Step 8
(Preview)
Step 8 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your ES H even if you are not up to this step. The link...
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hotrod
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2
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191
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gathering strength
(Preview)
My dry ah and i are trying to work on the financials. So we are trying to work together, first mediation then we did one on one to talk financials only. He would not discuss any personal stuff About our failed marriage. He would not talk about us outside of divorce. The mediator said we had a lot of unresol...
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Mirandac
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16
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655
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back for more
(Preview)
Yeah. Wolfie here. Aka Bernie. I know. I disappeared again. Only a few months this time. I could say it's the weird hours I work. Or that the outreach program Nancy and I are doing takes a lot of our time. Or That I bumped into some personalities again but that would be like saying other people or situation...
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Wolfie
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8
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674
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ask for guidance from your higher power!
(Preview)
Just a reminder... Had a rough night but remembered that *feelings* have nothing to do with TRUTH. Feelings come and go, and change. TRUTH stands and is truth for a reason. When we feel down, we should remember that there IS a higher power, through which all things are possible. Ask for help. Someti...
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giraffe13
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3
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3933
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What is your higher power?
(Preview)
So I don't want to bash Al-Anon but one of the reasons I started attending meetings is because I was led to believe you didn't need to be religious. I have attended two different groups in my area and both are very very religiously driven. I have openly talked about this at a meeting and was told to focu...
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Cooper
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5
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947
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Sadness too Great
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I am sad beyond belief. The grief has hit it's all time height. I know there are 5 stages of grief. I have hit the first few stages already: 1. Denial and isolation, 2. Bargaining, 3. Depression. The next stage that I am experiencing is the Anger. I am so mad at my AH. He moved back home on Monday. I...
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Hullibee
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44
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1261
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it just keeps circling back
(Preview)
God I hate alcohol....dealt with it my entire life...even being sober myself for many years alcohol/addiction still affects my life and that sucks. Two months ago I finally had to draw the line with my 21 year old son and make him leave home. He had been stealing money and prescriptions out of my roo...
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Cooper
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8
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757
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|
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Hi. Hello. Whats up?
(Preview)
Hi. Hello. Whats up? How's everyone doing? I got lost again but I'm back again.
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Wolfie
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1
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359
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lookinup
(Preview)
Take your pick of these and everyone feel free to add some!
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Breakingfree
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2
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314
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what do you do for fun?
(Preview)
I have a daughter who is completely amused by putting her face in a plastic jug and making sounds. (she's one and a half). Play is not always a thing that comes naturally after years of coda training so I'm asking you all, what do you do for fun? I struggle with this,tend to deny it for years and years then br...
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aquamom23
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30
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1121
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Can't seem to let it go.....
(Preview)
I am so desperate to let this issue go but it just keeps creeping up on me. I need help but please do tell me to just get over it. If I could I would have a long time ago. I've been with a sober alcoholic for 6 and a half years. It was a rocky start for a lot of reasons. I was going through a divorce with another alcoh...
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Nightingale
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19
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810
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I thought it was over
(Preview)
i'm so mad right now. Two months ago, my AH was diagnosed with mild acute pancreatitus. He had a 4 hour IV flush three days in a row. Two visits to the ER for hallucinations while he detoxed. He got his labs back a couple of days ago, and he's super-lucky. Everything back to normal, no liver damage, and...
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SpiderArcana
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13
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548
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The nightmare before Christmas !
(Preview)
The holidays are fast approaching and yesterday I was thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas and I had a panic attack!I am realizing that I really struggle emotionally around the holidays.I usually have an underlying depression around the holidays, it is just a sadness that haunts me. And in th...
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mjferg
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22
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866
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My daughter has cut us out of her life
(Preview)
Several years ago my daughter( now 24 yrs old) entered college. She soon met a young man through friends. Her life gradually spiraled out of control. We came to realize that she was willingly addicted to what we began to see was a toxic , abusive, relationship involving drugs and physical abuse. Long s...
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Carolann
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9
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587
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My boyfriend likes to dig into my traumatic past
(Preview)
I have allowed him into some of my trauma, like when I lost my virginity I was 12 and I was raped, molested what ever you wish to call it. I continued to let this guy that lived in the neighborhood take advantage of me just to feel loved for a few years, when I tried to tell my Mother about it, she silenced me, pu...
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Breakingfree
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15
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579
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my hands are cold but I will charge on...
(Preview)
Today is one of those days where my hands won't get warm. Anyhow, I am going to continue to type mistakes or not. So, what I am thinking is that I am so blessed w/ super-great friends who I can call on almost daily. Some people take time out of their busy schedules to talk to me, listen or even give me a ride. I a...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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368
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My How my Life Has Changed!
(Preview)
I am so grateful for the Al-Anon program. Since joining almost six years ago, it has been quite a journey. Six years ago I was depressed and wondering how I would ever get out of the dark place that I had entered in my life. This month, I was offered a larger apartment in my complex after being on the waiting...
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Green Eyes
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10
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659
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Help needed for 28 year old daughter
(Preview)
I am a newbie to this site. I joined in hopes of getting some ideas on how to help my daughter. She is 28 years old and has everything going for her, a college degree, a good job, people that love her, etc.. However, she has a depression problem, which she won't discuss. And her answer is the bottle. No...
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4Horses
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6
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535
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my 28-year-old daughter is alcoholic to the extreme
(Preview)
Long story as short as I can tell it, last year this time we had a full-on intervention, had an interventionist fly in from California to where we live in NY. We ambushed her, and she finally agreed to go into a 3 month rehab in Utah. Here we are a year later and she is in her 3rd detox in Utah. This time is home...
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dizbee
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27
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6480
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