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The Light Bulb Came On- My New Boss is My AH Incarnated!
(Preview)
So I started a new job with a nice raise and promotion two months ago. And, to be honest, my serenity is really being maxed out. I finally pinpointed what the real core of the problem was last night before I went to bed. My new boss is the female version of my AH (RIP)! I don't have any idea if she might have add...
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Green Eyes
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5
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643
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How to Enforce Boundaries and Know When To Take a Break From the Relationship?
(Preview)
Hello all, I am new here. Been asking these questions for some time now. I need some advice as I don't know where to turn, and feeling very isolated and alone. I plan on going to an Al-Anon meeting Monday evening. I have been in a relationship with a self-professed alcoholic for 2-1/2 years. I had not know...
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HangingOnByAThread
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14
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7204
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Leave me alone to think...........
(Preview)
And this is what you get! Tonight we finished off the extended versions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy - we stop them when we want, watch till one of us wants to stop, continue the next day or so until we've once again finished the mass of hours with all the extras. during the scene where Frodo and Sam are aw...
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likemyheart
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7
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637
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Husband in rehab until early March. New here and need support.
(Preview)
My husband is in rehab out of state over 2 1/2 hours away. He put himself there because I left him after I couldn't handle it anymore. I literally had to dump him passed out in the car in a Walmart parking lot and go in and call a cab to take me away and stay with a friend because he threatened to kill me before he...
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kiowawoman
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16
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853
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restless and longing for adventure
(Preview)
I am looking out my window watching more snow fall,we are getting a lot of snow again today.I am feeling like a caged animal.I have been thinking a lot about where I am at and what I like and don't like,I guess it is from paying attention to my needs for a change.I don't really love where I live,it is comfort...
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mjferg
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3
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712
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"Third Party" enablers
(Preview)
I have done well in letting my husband take on his own issues, but those around me often step on my toes. Just when I think that maybe, just maybe this disease will finally slap him in the face, someone else intervenes and cleans up the mess. Last week my husband went out with his friend and came home drunk....
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watchdog1999
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13
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1026
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Needing Strength Today
(Preview)
Apparently, I am being cold, harsh, and unkind. I think I am just being real. I do wonder, when I answer questions honestly, like "Don't you want to take me to my mom's before work?" (No, I don't. Your mom isn't home, and taking you there before work means I have to pick you up after work. It add...
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Skorpi
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9
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712
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Haven't posted in some time...update
(Preview)
I have been lurking and reading but haven't posted in quite some time. There have been some changes in my life - I met a wonderful man after being on my own for over 15 years. Don't know how this relationship will unfold but I am very happy with the direction this is taking. I decided to take early retiremen...
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Rose50
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6
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603
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Struggling to understand a particular pattern in my marriage
(Preview)
Please shed some light on this. Sometimes when my husband and I have arguments, I cry a lot (hard). I end up feeling very sorry for myself and I end up thinking he is the worst person in the world. I go to the extremes and I end up feeling like I'm a victim and he is a horrible person. When I'm crying, he see...
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AliceinWonderland
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7
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690
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First time poster
(Preview)
Hi Everyone. This is my first time posting, though I've been browsing and reading for a few weeks now, and decided it was finally time to start taking part. My boyfriend of 6 months is an alcoholic. He went to a rehab clinic 6 or 7 years ago, and was sober for less than a year before relapsing. Since we'...
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havingablast
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3
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441
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getting through one hour at a time
(Preview)
I talked with a couple of program friends. I was crying a lot yesterday. Everyone said basically the same thing as everyone here on the boards. I talked with him last night. I explained how the trust I had was no longer their. He said he was going to still love me no matter what I decided. I said my decision i...
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texasgal
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6
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738
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My husband is a rollercoaster
(Preview)
My husband is a constant drinker. He does not go a day without at least having a few beers. I'm pretty sure he sneaks beers in the mornings and at other inappropriate times during the day. He seems to secretly binge drink hard liquor in cycles, usually on the weekends every month or so. That is when i...
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Smiley99
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14
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889
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I never thought I would need this kind of help....
(Preview)
Hi, Im new to this site. I was turned on to it by a friend of mine. I think she is worried about me and the toll alcohol is taking on my life. I dont drink - at least not often. Maybe a glass of wine at a party, but its not me thats causing all the hurt. Its my parents. They divorced a few years ago but they both have p...
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Claddagh7
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5
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589
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Co Dependancy?
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new to these boards. I've tried posting a few times but always end up rambling on and on and losing my train of thought. Basically, I can't be @rsed with the hassle of coming from my family any more. My dad is the alcoholic, he and mum are separated now, they're both 65. I'm 36 (woman) and I've one you...
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Sionna
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5
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503
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Looking for a Sponsor
(Preview)
Hello All, I have been dating an alcoholic for over 7 years. It has been off and on. I have been attending meetings 3-4 times a week. However, I am interested in obtaining sponsorship.
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ilc0013
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3
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452
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Long Week .. at Tuesday
(Preview)
The whole issue of I make plans and God laughs completely applies here .. LOL. I'm so sick at the moment and I'm in a whiney mood to boot. I'll admit it would be nice if someone were here to take care of me and just let do me. Literally I have made it through two 1/2 days of work and I really need to just stay ho...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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656
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coming way down...
(Preview)
After all the excitement over the weekend(it is now Tuesday) I am noticing a shift in my sleep & that I am dragging around. I guess this is just like a hangover w/o any alcohol. I am struggling...at least I don't feel wound up & keyed up. I said before that I wasn't going to post for awhile & the...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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382
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Day Five, and thankfully still sticking with it.
(Preview)
Well, it has been five days since the accident now. I discovered that the insurance we had was not the "right" kind of insurance, and I have a $407 tow and storage bill for the car. The salvage yard offered $200 for it. At least it is off my hands. And, I fixed the ground in my truck, so now the tail...
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Skorpi
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6
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517
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You have to be kidding me.... oh, wait...
(Preview)
After she drove her car into a pole, I told my wife I was going to Al-anon because I needed support for myself, and, I explained as she looked on in disbelief, I couldn't get that support from her, as she was the thing I needed support with. I said I was going to check our local library to see if they had any Al-...
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Skorpi
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5
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695
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Never ever thought I would need to join a group like this
(Preview)
Hello there - I don't know what to say, so I had best start from the beginning. I have been in a relationship with a wonderful woman for the last 4 months, but she has a problem. Well, she has a few problems not of her making but when she finds things are 'stressful' she reaches for a drink, and when she start...
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BresslawLookalike
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28
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888
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Good days, bad dreams
(Preview)
I wonder if anyone else has had or is having the experience I am. I am feeling so much better most days. If I think about the change, it doesn't even feel real. But most nights, I dream about my A hurting me, drinking, lying, the affair of the heart, all the real bad yucky stuff that went on for the last 10 y...
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Lyne
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3
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336
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My oldest turned 17 years old yesterday
(Preview)
I caught myself thinking back to her dad in the OB room with his big coffee mug full of beer and being afraid of him holding her. And so many other memories of being afraid of leaving him with her while I had to go to work in the evening after he got home during her toddler years. Most of her life and my memories...
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Breakingfree
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8
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578
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hope for today feb 19th
(Preview)
This book has the adult child in mind. Todays reading talks about having a hole in our hearts from childhood, growing up with alcoholic parents, and thinking others will fill it, including the alcoholic husband. The reading talks about how working the alanon program can free us from secrets of our...
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el-cee
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1
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462
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I am back
(Preview)
Hi MIP family I have just returned. Thanks you so much for your many prayers and warm wishes. With the passing of my brother, in addition to 15 foot waves and a bout of sea sickness, I still managed to have a good and relaxing time. Thanks to alanon tools and much prayer. Looks as if you are all stil...
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hotrod
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9
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595
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New to Al-Anon
(Preview)
Hi every one, Iam new to this site and Al-Anon. I met my partner three and a half years ago. He had been in recovery for two years. He had a dual addiction drink and cocaine. He was a lovely partner but very hard work mood wise very up and down. I started to read the signs of him being moody very self absor...
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clarkangel
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7
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674
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Tradition 2 posted
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59654077/alanon-tradition-2/Please
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hotrod
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0
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224
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A long time coming
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I'm the wife of an alcoholic with complex issues; survivor of childhood abuse and emotional neglect...probably same old story, struggling to know what to do/say/think/feel. I have two young boys, the eldest is 9 and the youngest is 4, I try to get on with life for the most part, but after...
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Brooke G
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8
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696
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Winter and loss
(Preview)
Winter is taking a toll on me,I have been snowed in,isolated, kind of blue.We are really getting hit by old man winter.My oldest daughter had surgery, she is okay ,but I wasn't able to be there,it was right in the middle of a bad snowstorm.I felt so bad that I wasn't there for her.I also received news fro...
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mjferg
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2
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474
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Hubby in ER with delirium tremens-related heart arrythmia!
(Preview)
I jump-started into al anon today when I took my husband to the ER for what I thought was pneumonia (bad enough), but was told it was most likely DT related heart arrythmia! We are still awaiting tests to determine if there was any permanent heart damage. I knew he was a heavy beer drinker, but had no id...
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lynnly
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4
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575
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The move out date is today but I am still here.
(Preview)
So, last week I went to my appointment with the homeless team and they wrote a very stern letter to the LL pointing out that his illegal eviction/harassment could land him in big trouble and he needed to start correct lawful procedures if he wanted to see me out of his property. If I come to the end of the l...
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Luiza
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9
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533
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Took the day off (LOL)
(Preview)
and guess what I thought and felt before saying I was gonna do that? This is a test so lets see your answers. Remember "He's got a lot of time in" and "Progress not Perfection" along with your own experiences. Ready GO!! No time limit or ESH limit. ((((Hugs)...
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Jerry F
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14
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614
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No tears
(Preview)
Ok, so what's wrong with me? I was expecting a huge wash of emotions once I moved out. I got nothing. No tears. The only feelings I've had have been joy, peace, and 'ah, I can breathe again'. I can't tell you all how wonderful it is to not be woken up in the middle of the night by a stumbling drunk, to not h...
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andromeda
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23
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678
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need prayers
(Preview)
I am at sea Just heard my brother passed last night Please remember us in your prayers.
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hotrod
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34
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632
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Lois Wilson Share
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCkLYr8OlFY
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el-cee
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1
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257
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New Member on vearge of intervention
(Preview)
This is my 1st post and I have fought this battle for year of ups and downs. The man I love most in this world is an alcoholic and I have finally realized without intervention I will loose him and may loose him in the intervention process anyway. Almost 3 years ago I broke every bottle of alcohol in our hom...
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LovingHim
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6
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724
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sad
(Preview)
Last night was a bad night. I have been dating a man for 4 and a half months. And last night after dinner we went to his house to watch a movie and 5 min after we got their a woman came ringing the doorbell and knocking like a mad woman. She said she had slept with him this weekend. He has a son and has custody ever...
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texasgal
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14
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599
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The new guy
(Preview)
my wife started drinking heavily! she would drink until she passed out! always around our 16yr old daughter, I talked and asked her to stop and get help! but she refused! I asked to leave and think things thru. no matter how hard I tried no matter how I pleaded for her to get help it just got worse! now she is...
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Floyd
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8
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753
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relapse
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I am new to this board and new to this disease my 34 year old married son is a drug and alcohol addict that has been in recovery since november for the first time WE recently discovered he had a relapse.. covering it up quite well but the lies caught up with him. Hubby and went to our first al ano...
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sweet potato
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4
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657
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Newbie - Do you tell them!
(Preview)
It is no surprise to my husband that I hate his drinking! He will start in about 7pm with, your not talking to me because I am drinking! I only discuss alcohol when he is sober, but I joined the forum yesterday and have found a local chapter in my home town! Do I tell him I'm going??? I am looking for a coun...
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LovingHim
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3
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475
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How do you leave a dry drunk?
(Preview)
I just tried to end my relationship with my ah who is 80 days sober and is a dry drunk. God help me I tried and then when he started flipping out I backed down and told him I don't want to live like this anymore and that every 10 days he picks a fight. How do u do this? Does it have to end so badly? How do you do it when...
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Helpangel
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4
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1126
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I feel lost
(Preview)
Hi Everyone It's been a while since I have posted and this is really not about alcoholism or the problems it brought me but here go's. I'm anxious, lost and scared of things I can't control. My son is safe but I have been thinking about him getting out next year. My SO is retiring and the money will be cut...
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Cathyinaz
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15
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638
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One Day at a Time Feb 17th
(Preview)
Today's reading is all about courtesy and how a couples 'intense involvement' with each other and 'violent quarrels' can destroy what should be a 'sacred relationship' The reading reminds us that a simple thing like courtesy can be like magic, it can take 'the wind out of the sails of the attacker.'...
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el-cee
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1
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290
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detaching without losing hope or feeling guilty
(Preview)
Hi,I feel like the only way I can maintain joy is to give up and just stay away from this person long enough to stop aching and start living. ten years of roller coaster with my adult daughter has been exhausting and as I hear from yet another affected person (they always end up calling me) expressing conc...
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christinek61
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6
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568
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Progress I think
(Preview)
So I had my lovely day yesterday with family. It was so cold outside here in NY, we were walking fast to the restaurant. But not my A. A is so overweight and body is hurting so she was way back. First my brother walked with her and then I took a turn. I mean, it was below zero with the windchill. Fast forw...
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Lyne
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7
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469
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I'm so sad
(Preview)
This is my first post. My Mom is an alcoholic and has been all my life. She has had sporadic periods of sobriety over the years. Her cycle is to drink until disaster strikes, get into treatment, stay sober long enough to start earning some trust back and then start drinking secretly. I always find ou...
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Exhausted33
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3
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407
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Hope For Today Feb 17
(Preview)
Good Morning MIP: The first paragraph in today's reading is about negative attitudes. The example given is if you hear 9 compliments and 1 insult, the focus is put on the insult. It reminds me of how difficult is to just say 'thank you' when someone gives a compliment. I notice that for me I often eith...
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yanksfan51
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0
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529
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frustrated!
(Preview)
Hi, everyone! I'm new to this chat site but not to AlAnon--have been a grateful member for 3+ years and am happy to be here. Because of where I live, it has been hard to get to meetings, but I miss my AlAnon community and support and am so thankful for this venue. I'm writing today because I need help dealin...
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tornadoj
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6
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2722
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What? Am I an ACOA????????
(Preview)
Hi all,
Funny thing happened this past weekend..... My parents were down visiting, and as many a story's go, my mom and I can have friction from time to time. She is an ACOA, and was raise in a very abusive (every sort) home. The aftermath of which has left her with a lot of fear in her...
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mastiff
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11
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1332
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How do you help helpless children?
(Preview)
My sister is an alcoholic (never agreed to treatment) and her ex-husband is verbally abusive. Neither is better than the other. They have two children (both about 10 years old). The children are tossed back and forth between two unhappy houses and I can't stand to watch it any more. Today, the old...
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Jeri Kat
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5
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7083
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OMG dry drunk treatment awareness with child!
(Preview)
I realized something alarming today. My dry drunk husband of about 80 days sober was watching my daughter play on a snow hill as I was sitting the opposite direction. He stormed out the door and I followed he started yelling at my daughter that she kicked a boy in the head. My daughter lied and said she did...
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Helpangel
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6
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482
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fear mode
(Preview)
At the weekend i was told about a young woman, only 35, who is a chronic alcoholic. She has lost her job, her home, lives with her mother and is so bad she cant go up stairs to her room so sleeps on the couch. She is wetting herself and cant get up when she falls. It sounds really bad. I went into panic mode upon h...
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el-cee
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2
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430
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PAIN
(Preview)
THE PAST MONTH HAS BEEN HELL FOR ME. AH DRINKING ALMOST KILLED HIM. THERE WERE HOSPITAL STAYS,JAIL STAYS FOR DOMESTIC,ETC BANK ACCOUNTS NEARLY EMPTY THATS HIM FOR ME PAIN,ANQUISH EXHAUSTION ANGRER RESOLVE, TRYING TO FIQUIRE OUT WHETER TO LEAVE, TO FIND A LIVING SITUATION LESS EXPENSIVE CLOSER TO R...
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YARNCRAZY
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5
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590
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undepressed Valentine's Day!
(Preview)
For the first time in maybe 10-15 years, I was not depressed on Val. Day, because my marriage is so disappointing. Been there, done that! Thanks to Alanon, I had no expectations to be ruined! I was actually surprised that my A got me two very nice gifts! I have been practicing detachment, not being c...
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Lyne
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6
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455
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one day at a time feb 16th
(Preview)
Todays reading tells us that alcoholism is a disease. Not a 'respectable' disease with germs that we can accept but it is a disease. When we are able to accept it is a disease then we make progress. We dont repond to someone who is sick with frustration and rage so accepting alcoholism is a disease helps u...
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el-cee
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0
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362
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Ill...
(Preview)
Don't know if this a relapse of what was ailing us a couple weeks ago or something else. I didn't get any support at the VA and ended up in the trauma center. Headaches and dizziness and nausea and wild thinking and neck pains and more so I listened to my wife (lol) and she drove me to the TC. Funny how o...
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Jerry F
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7
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433
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one day at a time feb 14th
(Preview)
Happy valentines day! Todays reading is all about what it means to 'work' the program. It says we get out exactly what we put in. Working it means, 'attending meetings faithfully' read some alanon literature every day and apply what we learn to our daily lives. It also means sharing with others what we...
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el-cee
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3
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786
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Thank You
(Preview)
I just wanted to say thank you for being here. I feel like I have nowhere to turn and no one to express myself to at this hour ... or in general. Tonight, my wife was on her way to pick me up from work, and was in a car accident. Thank goodness she didn't hurt anyone. She did take out a rather large lamp post, fro...
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Skorpi
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8
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549
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one day at a time feb 15th
(Preview)
Todays reading is about gratitude shown by members offers hope to newcomers. It talks about how life changes and the 'world begins to reveal its beauty which was obscured by my worrying over my trouble' it didnt take me too long in alanon to start lifting my head when i walked and looking at the beauty th...
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el-cee
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3
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415
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Paula?
(Preview)
Where is our resident artist? Has anyone heard from her?
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aquamom23
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14
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702
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Sad for my girl.
(Preview)
OK so my daughter's father pays his court-ordered child support. To the exact cent, not a penny more or a penny less and that is IT. It's not much, it maybe pays for about 1/4 of her most essential and basic expenses, but it does help a bit. At the same time he has refused to EVER pay for anything beyond this c...
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missmeliss
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12
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782
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