Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lablover13 · lablover13

it's been 2 years and i get anxious and very sad when I envision him having sex with the another woman. we have gotten back together but I still dont trust him even though he is working very hard in AA, doing the steps and all. he has been sober for 1 year and is trying to change. i support him and congrtaualt...

pamala · pamala

I am new to posting on this board. I have attended a couple of online meetings, but have yet to attend a f2f one. Working on that one. What I need is some insight since I realize my perception tends to be off lately on things. My 26 year old daughter is my A. She was living with me up until November when I b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know about y'all but these days I question whether I am wrong or right. But who cares anyhow? It is better to be happy than to be right all the time anyway. I am just grateful for the discussion not the argument. So much has to be done to improve my life. It just takes one thing to set off a good start of g...

shealah · shealah

My af has been drinking nonstop for the last couple weeks. Last week came to a head when I finally called his parents and they took him home with them. Unfortunately, I let him come back home the next day, a decision which I totally regret......as he was drunk when he came back home early in the morning....

texasgal · texasgal

It's been more than a week since I found out the guy I was dating cheated. It's been hard not talking to him. He calls and texts me that he loves me and that it will never happen again...but Ive heard those lines before. Everytime I think I want to talk to him I remember the lady knocking crazy at the door and a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

of the culture of giving, helping and I was sooo delighted to watch that I laughed at it happening. Needed to share this with my MIP family. I had to get to the VA clinic to get some support. While I was there I discovered that the parking lot was full for both the Hilo Hospital and the Va with the except...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T for today speaks about keeping the focus on ourselves and not trying to analyze why another person does what they do. Trying to figure out others is a waste of time and energy as it is more important to my recoverys to figure out why I do what I do. I can do that by keeping the focus on myself lo...

AlmaDaigle · AlmaDaigle

My husband has had a problem with alcohol for a long time. I have been in denial about it until recently. We had been fighting a lot and I started to feel that the alcohol abuse was hurting our family. We have two very little girls and I finally decided that we needed to start addressing our problems. Rob we...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Well, in a not so fantastic start to my day... I got up this morning, took care of the pets, made coffee, packed lunches, got breakfast, as usual. Brought my wife coffee and fruit for breakfast in bed, as usual. The dog stepped on her foot in excitement when he saw the fruit (he LOVES oranges!) and woke he...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

In the beginning of my al-anon journey I struggled with the back and forth of really letting go of my exAh and had to learn boundaries were for me and my health. I really had trouble letting go and accepting I deserved better and healthier opportunities and until I let go, I held myself back. The steps, my...

oregongirl · oregongirl

Hi Everyone, I really want to start to feel better. I felt that this program would be the place to start. My son is an addict. He doesn't think he is though. When he was in High School he began smoking pot, drinking alcohol and barely graduated. He went into outpatient treatment during that time. I believ...

pamala · pamala

I am rather new, but starting to get warmed up to the concepts of taking care of myself first. But here is my issue....My daugher is causing my 80 and 74 year old parents grief now. My 26 year old A daughter convinced them to let her live there while she attended outpatient rehab. She has an empty apar...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hello all - it's been a long time. I started a new job in October and it's been so busy, it's construction and excellent experience. I just hired a student to help in the afternoons which is great. I need all your experience strength and hope. The President's 81 year old mother works there, she is just li...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This seems to be what underpins my serenity, at this point in my life anyway. It's remembering to be in the NOW. I forget to do it all the time. I have been overwhelmed with tasks and stresses and worries in recent days and I realised, today, I was so agitated trying to "get through" everything...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i keep struggling with rejection then hurt. My ah does something then that is my first feeling then hurt. i wish i could will it out of me. Maybe when the divorce is final and i am working steps 4 and 5 more heartily i wont feel those feelings about or from him. I can only pray for peace And serenity in sp...

hotrod · hotrod

I loved the reading in the C2C today. It talks about the shame that is buried deep within. This old shame is based on mistakes we've made, where we beat ourselves up for not being perfect.. This reading points out that we are human and that with alanon tools we can make amends for any harm. we might have d...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

The Bill of Rights for Adult Children and Al-anoners! 1. I have the right to make choices besides the choice to merely run away. 2. I have the right to say No when I feel unready or unsafe. 3. I have the right to not be molested by fear. 4. I have the right to feel all my feelings. 5. I have the right to believe I a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I love rainbows

Cafeaulait1973 · Cafeaulait1973

This morning I talked to my boyfriend for the first time after his slip up the other night. I talked to him the day after but he was still drunk so i don't really consider that "talking to him". I've heard from people who had seen him so I knew he was alive and actually they all said he didn't seem...

Irish7 · Irish7

I know there are some al anon folks here who also are AA members. If my question is inappropriate, please, moderator, close or delete it. But what I'm wondering is whether the active alcoholic is aware that they are causing spouses/children/parents to worry and agonize? Or is it that it just doesn't e...

ck78 · ck78

Hi there. I am a mother of two. My boyfriend and father to my daughter has relasped for the second time. I feel alone. Going on second day of him MIA. Last time he was gone a week. This is bigger than me, I am just looking for support.

texas yankee · texas yankee

90% of the very limited communication with my adult son lately has mostly been from me to him with an "I love you" text every other day or so, and that's about it - he's told me that any type of supportive message from me like "I have faith in you" annoys him, so I stopped with anything...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah is almost 90 days sober but has been very hard to deal with. Has anyone had a hard time with getting space to detach. I can detach with out a problem, really. But I have a hard time with the constant pity party. Today: I get several emails from my ah that he has to leave his job because he is an idiot that ca...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I am looking for closure from my marriage from my dry ah. He is not willing to be honest or upfront. I can't see that he has grown or changed since he started AA Three years ago. He is still not emotionally sober even after being dry for 30 years. The addict in him is alive and kicking. He has an AA Gf and show...

Cafeaulait1973 · Cafeaulait1973

Hi, my name is kris. I was raised in an alcoholic, abusive home and my mother remains with the abuser to this day(my step-father).i told myself that I would never put my kids through the abuse I went through as a child, I met my boyfriend 9yrs ago, he drank beer. He wasn't physically abusive and it took me a...

hopefull2015 · hopefull2015

Hi, I've been married 5 years and but living with my AH for about 10 years. I always knew he was a big drinker and for a long time I was too, we own a bar and it's easy enough to find yourself drinking more than you should. I all but cut out my own drinking and have been actively seeking out alternative employme...

AlmaDaigle · AlmaDaigle

Hello, I first posted a few days ago and got some really helpful responses, so here goes. Today I am feeling really paranoid that my husband was drinking last night. After I went to bed, he came in to say good night and check on me and our baby. His eyes looked red and he seemed a little off. He could have just...

shealah · shealah

Im pretty new to al anon. I went to my 3rd meeting tonight. I felt better when I left. When I came home, however, my fiance was drunk again. He got out of a 30-day inpatient rehab about 2 months ago and he has been drunk every day after the first week of getting out. Tonight he came to go bed and told me that I se...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning MIP: This reading begins with a comparison between choosing to ignore certain traffic rules in order to make our journeys a little shorter; taking some shortcuts and not following the suggested Traditions, guidelines and policies of Alanon. I am thinking about shortcuts and how in t...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

oohhhh. Acceptance stage. Im going to have to work through that some. Some of the feedback i recd about acceptance and expectations were spot on but hard to figure out. . In practice, in life. I need to process this mire. But right now to vent. My ah actually wonders why the tension level.goes up when he...

Katrina324 · Katrina324

Hello to all, I've been a way for a few weeks from posting, needed to clear my head about a lot of things. I still talk to my ex ABF on the phone, but it clearly isn't the same and I don't feel the way I used to about him. For all that don't know, I was involved with a man for a year and a half, and found out he was a he...

shealah · shealah

This is my first time posting on a board like this, but I could really use some words of wisdom and/or encouragement. I met my fiance almost 3 years ago. At the time he was a long distance truck drive and was home 3 nights a week, every Tuesday and Friday and Saturday. We fell in love so quickly...I was so...

hotrod · hotrod

The O D A T for today, February 23 speaks about my favorite subject; "Detachment". The reading goes on to explain that detachment, in the Al-Anon sense does not mean separating ourselves or our love and compassion from people. It simply means that we bring the focus back within ourselves...

Jerry F · Jerry F

So today is Sunday?? I got up and dressed for work!! What the heck...wife was still in bed and I looked at the calendar, Monday is President's Day and so being the rocket scientist I think I am at times I figured she had a holiday until she came into the kitchen and said with a smile, "Today is Su...

glad · glad

I was thinking today about the times my girlfriends had made sincere positive comments about who I was as a person. NOT flattery but they sincerely "liked" me. There are a lot of negative tapes in my head, poor me pity party stuff mostly from my childhood now but some from past alcoholic/ de...

GreenerGal · GreenerGal

I've been hovering around the board for awhile now, I just started attending Al-Anon in November and I'm getting really confused. My partner started out patient treatment and attending AA meetings 30 days ago. The majority of the time it's been really amazing and positive, but once in awhile he re...

To be loved · To be loved

So i have bee all over the place for the last two weeks. Partner away working and atto tide towards me changed which is again this 1%. He is being distant, hasnt said he loves me or misses me which he always usually does but asks what I want to do when he gets home, booming gig tickets and telling me to tell him...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi everyone. I have been struggling with my dry drunk who is about 90 days sober. My ah and I have been seeing a therapist and she said his behavior is normal and it will get better with time. First, Everytime a blow up happens I shut down. I am worried and anxious a lot because I never know when the nice guy or...

Auntrosie · Auntrosie

husband has been sober for almost two years And attends several meetings a week. I have been working alanine for 3 years. I am just so unhappy with myself. I just am not happy with my sober husband. I have everything I would ever need and want. On the outside we are the perfect family (kids are grown). I can...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Before you respond, know that i ask myself" why do you stay"" all the time so theres no need to go there. I just need some compassion. Ah never came home last nite. . It was supposed to be date night, (ha, i had a date with my empty house & a snowstorm). . he had all sorts of excuses. Igot u...

andromeda · andromeda

This topic came up in a meeting this week and I thought I would throw it out to the boards. What does surrender feel like to you? What does it look like in your life after being in program for a while?

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the ODAT is a great reminder to every person who has been in program for some time. It points out that when we are attending an Al-Anon meeting we should always keep in mind that the newcomer in the room is feeling, lost, confused, alone and bewildered when they first enter a meeting....

phinatic514 · phinatic514

Hi everyone, I'm new here, and am in need of serious direction. I'm 32, just finished graduate school, and am still at home because of it. Now, my father is a hardcore alcoholic. He's always been a drinker, but now it's the hard stuff. He has pretty much destroyed my entire family. I truly feel he...

Jerry F · Jerry F

http://survey.brxresearch.com/s3/Al-Anon-2015-Membership-Survey

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading is about unacceptable behaviour and how alanon helps us work out what it is and then to set boundaries and limits. It talks about how we can stop accepting unacceptable behaviour from the alcoholics in our lives but often we still accept it from ourselves. Our own attitude towards ou...

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the Alanon Daily Reader, " One Day at a Time in Alanon." Is a powerful reminder of how we hurt ourselves more than others while living with this disease and using our old tools to cope. The reading points out that we have considerable power to change our lives if we are w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Hi all. Just a little update about this, that n everything! I've been a busy bee this last week, not on my computer much. That's a very good thing for me, I am feeling pretty good! That's not to say life is perfect, but I am mostly enjoying it all the same. A has been here a lot this week. Being Mr Sober Superma...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So I started a new job with a nice raise and promotion two months ago. And, to be honest, my serenity is really being maxed out. I finally pinpointed what the real core of the problem was last night before I went to bed. My new boss is the female version of my AH (RIP)! I don't have any idea if she might have add...

HangingOnByAThread · HangingOnByAThread

Hello all, I am new here. Been asking these questions for some time now. I need some advice as I don't know where to turn, and feeling very isolated and alone. I plan on going to an Al-Anon meeting Monday evening. I have been in a relationship with a self-professed alcoholic for 2-1/2 years. I had not know...

likemyheart · likemyheart

And this is what you get! Tonight we finished off the extended versions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy - we stop them when we want, watch till one of us wants to stop, continue the next day or so until we've once again finished the mass of hours with all the extras. during the scene where Frodo and Sam are aw...

kiowawoman · kiowawoman

My husband is in rehab out of state over 2 1/2 hours away. He put himself there because I left him after I couldn't handle it anymore. I literally had to dump him passed out in the car in a Walmart parking lot and go in and call a cab to take me away and stay with a friend because he threatened to kill me before he...

mjferg · mjferg

I am looking out my window watching more snow fall,we are getting a lot of snow again today.I am feeling like a caged animal.I have been thinking a lot about where I am at and what I like and don't like,I guess it is from paying attention to my needs for a change.I don't really love where I live,it is comfort...

watchdog1999 · watchdog1999

I have done well in letting my husband take on his own issues, but those around me often step on my toes. Just when I think that maybe, just maybe this disease will finally slap him in the face, someone else intervenes and cleans up the mess. Last week my husband went out with his friend and came home drunk....

Skorpi · Skorpi

Apparently, I am being cold, harsh, and unkind. I think I am just being real. I do wonder, when I answer questions honestly, like "Don't you want to take me to my mom's before work?" (No, I don't. Your mom isn't home, and taking you there before work means I have to pick you up after work. It add...

Rose50 · Rose50

I have been lurking and reading but haven't posted in quite some time. There have been some changes in my life - I met a wonderful man after being on my own for over 15 years. Don't know how this relationship will unfold but I am very happy with the direction this is taking. I decided to take early retiremen...

AliceinWonderland · AliceinWonderland

Please shed some light on this. Sometimes when my husband and I have arguments, I cry a lot (hard). I end up feeling very sorry for myself and I end up thinking he is the worst person in the world. I go to the extremes and I end up feeling like I'm a victim and he is a horrible person. When I'm crying, he see...

havingablast · havingablast

Hi Everyone. This is my first time posting, though I've been browsing and reading for a few weeks now, and decided it was finally time to start taking part. My boyfriend of 6 months is an alcoholic. He went to a rehab clinic 6 or 7 years ago, and was sober for less than a year before relapsing. Since we'...

texasgal · texasgal

I talked with a couple of program friends. I was crying a lot yesterday. Everyone said basically the same thing as everyone here on the boards. I talked with him last night. I explained how the trust I had was no longer their. He said he was going to still love me no matter what I decided. I said my decision i...

Smiley99 · Smiley99

My husband is a constant drinker. He does not go a day without at least having a few beers. I'm pretty sure he sneaks beers in the mornings and at other inappropriate times during the day. He seems to secretly binge drink hard liquor in cycles, usually on the weekends every month or so. That is when i...

Claddagh7 · Claddagh7

Hi, Im new to this site. I was turned on to it by a friend of mine. I think she is worried about me and the toll alcohol is taking on my life. I dont drink - at least not often. Maybe a glass of wine at a party, but its not me thats causing all the hurt. Its my parents. They divorced a few years ago but they both have p...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Accepting my AH's affair (Preview) it's been 2 years and i get anxious and very sad when I envision him having sex with the another woman. we have gotten back together but I still dont trust him even though he is working very hard in AA, doing the steps and all. he has been sober for 1 year and is trying to change. i support him and congrtaualt...	lablover13	6	588	Feb 28, 2015 by lablover13
	Need some outside insight please (Preview) I am new to posting on this board. I have attended a couple of online meetings, but have yet to attend a f2f one. Working on that one. What I need is some insight since I realize my perception tends to be off lately on things. My 26 year old daughter is my A. She was living with me up until November when I b...	pamala	3	556	Feb 28, 2015 by GreenerGal
	maybe I am wrong but maybe I am right? (Preview) I don't know about y'all but these days I question whether I am wrong or right. But who cares anyhow? It is better to be happy than to be right all the time anyway. I am just grateful for the discussion not the argument. So much has to be done to improve my life. It just takes one thing to set off a good start of g...	Hoot Nanny	3	440	Feb 28, 2015 by GreenerGal
	drinking beer before an aa meeting (Preview) My af has been drinking nonstop for the last couple weeks. Last week came to a head when I finally called his parents and they took him home with them. Unfortunately, I let him come back home the next day, a decision which I totally regret......as he was drunk when he came back home early in the morning....	shealah	2	572	Feb 27, 2015 by Mirandac
	one day at a time (Preview) It's been more than a week since I found out the guy I was dating cheated. It's been hard not talking to him. He calls and texts me that he loves me and that it will never happen again...but Ive heard those lines before. Everytime I think I want to talk to him I remember the lady knocking crazy at the door and a...	texasgal	4	445	Feb 27, 2015 by karma13
	Was there and watched the miracle... (Preview) of the culture of giving, helping and I was sooo delighted to watch that I laughed at it happening. Needed to share this with my MIP family. I had to get to the VA clinic to get some support. While I was there I discovered that the parking lot was full for both the Hilo Hospital and the Va with the except...	Jerry F	4	603	Feb 27, 2015 by Jerry F
	ODAT 2-27 (Preview) The ODA T for today speaks about keeping the focus on ourselves and not trying to analyze why another person does what they do. Trying to figure out others is a waste of time and energy as it is more important to my recoverys to figure out why I do what I do. I can do that by keeping the focus on myself lo...	hotrod	4	453	Feb 27, 2015 by Jen61
	Hiding alcohol (Preview) My husband has had a problem with alcohol for a long time. I have been in denial about it until recently. We had been fighting a lot and I started to feel that the alcohol abuse was hurting our family. We have two very little girls and I finally decided that we needed to start addressing our problems. Rob we...	AlmaDaigle	19	901	Feb 27, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Alcoholic Temper-tantrum (Preview) Well, in a not so fantastic start to my day... I got up this morning, took care of the pets, made coffee, packed lunches, got breakfast, as usual. Brought my wife coffee and fruit for breakfast in bed, as usual. The dog stepped on her foot in excitement when he saw the fruit (he LOVES oranges!) and woke he...	Skorpi	26	4883	Feb 27, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	Boundaries this explains it... (Preview) In the beginning of my al-anon journey I struggled with the back and forth of really letting go of my exAh and had to learn boundaries were for me and my health. I really had trouble letting go and accepting I deserved better and healthier opportunities and until I let go, I held myself back. The steps, my...	Breakingfree	3	467	Feb 27, 2015 by Skorpi
	Newcomer Greetings (Preview) Hi Everyone, I really want to start to feel better. I felt that this program would be the place to start. My son is an addict. He doesn't think he is though. When he was in High School he began smoking pot, drinking alcohol and barely graduated. He went into outpatient treatment during that time. I believ...	oregongirl	5	927	Feb 26, 2015 by Jerry F
	Concern for my parents (Preview) I am rather new, but starting to get warmed up to the concepts of taking care of myself first. But here is my issue....My daugher is causing my 80 and 74 year old parents grief now. My 26 year old A daughter convinced them to let her live there while she attended outpatient rehab. She has an empty apar...	pamala	3	757	Feb 26, 2015 by Jerry F
	Dysfunctional Co worker ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hello all - it's been a long time. I started a new job in October and it's been so busy, it's construction and excellent experience. I just hired a student to help in the afternoons which is great. I need all your experience strength and hope. The President's 81 year old mother works there, she is just li...	mercedes1959	47	1507	Feb 26, 2015 by hotrod
	A tool I keep misplacing. (Preview) This seems to be what underpins my serenity, at this point in my life anyway. It's remembering to be in the NOW. I forget to do it all the time. I have been overwhelmed with tasks and stresses and worries in recent days and I realised, today, I was so agitated trying to "get through" everything...	missmeliss	8	516	Feb 26, 2015 by missmeliss
	Rejection (Preview) i keep struggling with rejection then hurt. My ah does something then that is my first feeling then hurt. i wish i could will it out of me. Maybe when the divorce is final and i am working steps 4 and 5 more heartily i wont feel those feelings about or from him. I can only pray for peace And serenity in sp...	Mirandac	6	779	Feb 26, 2015 by missmeliss
	C2C 2-26-2015 (Preview) I loved the reading in the C2C today. It talks about the shame that is buried deep within. This old shame is based on mistakes we've made, where we beat ourselves up for not being perfect.. This reading points out that we are human and that with alanon tools we can make amends for any harm. we might have d...	hotrod	2	383	Feb 26, 2015 by hotrod
	The Bill of Rights for Adult Children and Al-anoners (Preview) The Bill of Rights for Adult Children and Al-anoners! 1. I have the right to make choices besides the choice to merely run away. 2. I have the right to say No when I feel unready or unsafe. 3. I have the right to not be molested by fear. 4. I have the right to feel all my feelings. 5. I have the right to believe I a...	Breakingfree	5	777	Feb 26, 2015 by hopefull2015
	rainbows (Preview) I love rainbows	Cathyinaz	6	422	Feb 25, 2015 by Jen61
	1st talk after relapse (Preview) This morning I talked to my boyfriend for the first time after his slip up the other night. I talked to him the day after but he was still drunk so i don't really consider that "talking to him". I've heard from people who had seen him so I knew he was alive and actually they all said he didn't seem...	Cafeaulait1973	8	529	Feb 25, 2015 by Cafeaulait1973
	A question for the "double winners" (Preview) I know there are some al anon folks here who also are AA members. If my question is inappropriate, please, moderator, close or delete it. But what I'm wondering is whether the active alcoholic is aware that they are causing spouses/children/parents to worry and agonize? Or is it that it just doesn't e...	Irish7	15	1268	Feb 25, 2015 by Irish7
	New here (Preview) Hi there. I am a mother of two. My boyfriend and father to my daughter has relasped for the second time. I feel alone. Going on second day of him MIA. Last time he was gone a week. This is bigger than me, I am just looking for support.	ck78	12	685	Feb 25, 2015 by Cafeaulait1973
	When I'm wondering whether he's dead or alive . . . (Preview) 90% of the very limited communication with my adult son lately has mostly been from me to him with an "I love you" text every other day or so, and that's about it - he's told me that any type of supportive message from me like "I have faith in you" annoys him, so I stopped with anything...	texas yankee	10	754	Feb 25, 2015 by el-cee
	Detachment when they keep trying to pull on you (Preview) My ah is almost 90 days sober but has been very hard to deal with. Has anyone had a hard time with getting space to detach. I can detach with out a problem, really. But I have a hard time with the constant pity party. Today: I get several emails from my ah that he has to leave his job because he is an idiot that ca...	Helpangel	11	650	Feb 25, 2015 by pinkchip
	Closure (Preview) I am looking for closure from my marriage from my dry ah. He is not willing to be honest or upfront. I can't see that he has grown or changed since he started AA Three years ago. He is still not emotionally sober even after being dry for 30 years. The addict in him is alive and kicking. He has an AA Gf and show...	Mirandac	25	912	Feb 24, 2015 by Mirandac
	Newbie/my story/it's happened again (Preview) Hi, my name is kris. I was raised in an alcoholic, abusive home and my mother remains with the abuser to this day(my step-father).i told myself that I would never put my kids through the abuse I went through as a child, I met my boyfriend 9yrs ago, he drank beer. He wasn't physically abusive and it took me a...	Cafeaulait1973	4	549	Feb 24, 2015 by milkwood
	First post, very nervous! (Preview) Hi, I've been married 5 years and but living with my AH for about 10 years. I always knew he was a big drinker and for a long time I was too, we own a bar and it's easy enough to find yourself drinking more than you should. I all but cut out my own drinking and have been actively seeking out alternative employme...	hopefull2015	14	724	Feb 24, 2015 by milkwood
	Feeling Paranoid about Husbands Drinking (Preview) Hello, I first posted a few days ago and got some really helpful responses, so here goes. Today I am feeling really paranoid that my husband was drinking last night. After I went to bed, he came in to say good night and check on me and our baby. His eyes looked red and he seemed a little off. He could have just...	AlmaDaigle	3	631	Feb 24, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	How to detach (Preview) Im pretty new to al anon. I went to my 3rd meeting tonight. I felt better when I left. When I came home, however, my fiance was drunk again. He got out of a 30-day inpatient rehab about 2 months ago and he has been drunk every day after the first week of getting out. Tonight he came to go bed and told me that I se...	shealah	12	1044	Feb 24, 2015 by Jerry F
	Hope For Today Feb 24 (Preview) Good morning MIP: This reading begins with a comparison between choosing to ignore certain traffic rules in order to make our journeys a little shorter; taking some shortcuts and not following the suggested Traditions, guidelines and policies of Alanon. I am thinking about shortcuts and how in t...	yanksfan51	2	431	Feb 24, 2015 by Skorpi
	friendly venting (Preview) oohhhh. Acceptance stage. Im going to have to work through that some. Some of the feedback i recd about acceptance and expectations were spot on but hard to figure out. . In practice, in life. I need to process this mire. But right now to vent. My ah actually wonders why the tension level.goes up when he...	Theoceancalls	3	672	Feb 23, 2015 by hotrod
	Starting over isn't easy, I had a date with someone new last night. (Preview) Hello to all, I've been a way for a few weeks from posting, needed to clear my head about a lot of things. I still talk to my ex ABF on the phone, but it clearly isn't the same and I don't feel the way I used to about him. For all that don't know, I was involved with a man for a year and a half, and found out he was a he...	Katrina324	8	691	Feb 23, 2015 by pinkchip
	newbie (Preview) This is my first time posting on a board like this, but I could really use some words of wisdom and/or encouragement. I met my fiance almost 3 years ago. At the time he was a long distance truck drive and was home 3 nights a week, every Tuesday and Friday and Saturday. We fell in love so quickly...I was so...	shealah	10	478	Feb 23, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Thoughts on One Day At a Time reading for Monday 2-23-2015 (Preview) The O D A T for today, February 23 speaks about my favorite subject; "Detachment". The reading goes on to explain that detachment, in the Al-Anon sense does not mean separating ourselves or our love and compassion from people. It simply means that we bring the focus back within ourselves...	hotrod	2	535	Feb 23, 2015 by hotrod
	OH WOW!! (Preview) So today is Sunday?? I got up and dressed for work!! What the heck...wife was still in bed and I looked at the calendar, Monday is President's Day and so being the rocket scientist I think I am at times I figured she had a holiday until she came into the kitchen and said with a smile, "Today is Su...	Jerry F	5	524	Feb 23, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	A gratitude list in and of itself (Preview) I was thinking today about the times my girlfriends had made sincere positive comments about who I was as a person. NOT flattery but they sincerely "liked" me. There are a lot of negative tapes in my head, poor me pity party stuff mostly from my childhood now but some from past alcoholic/ de...	glad	1	589	Feb 23, 2015 by hotrod
	New here and have some questions about my newly sober partner (Preview) I've been hovering around the board for awhile now, I just started attending Al-Anon in November and I'm getting really confused. My partner started out patient treatment and attending AA meetings 30 days ago. The majority of the time it's been really amazing and positive, but once in awhile he re...	GreenerGal	6	707	Feb 23, 2015 by glad
	What is going on? (Preview) So i have bee all over the place for the last two weeks. Partner away working and atto tide towards me changed which is again this 1%. He is being distant, hasnt said he loves me or misses me which he always usually does but asks what I want to do when he gets home, booming gig tickets and telling me to tell him...	To be loved	11	794	Feb 23, 2015 by glad
	Therapist insight on dry drunk behavior (Preview) Hi everyone. I have been struggling with my dry drunk who is about 90 days sober. My ah and I have been seeing a therapist and she said his behavior is normal and it will get better with time. First, Everytime a blow up happens I shut down. I am worried and anxious a lot because I never know when the nice guy or...	Helpangel	15	589	Feb 22, 2015 by Jerry F
	Acceptance helpme please (Preview) husband has been sober for almost two years And attends several meetings a week. I have been working alanine for 3 years. I am just so unhappy with myself. I just am not happy with my sober husband. I have everything I would ever need and want. On the outside we are the perfect family (kids are grown). I can...	Auntrosie	8	475	Feb 22, 2015 by Jerry F
	need some tlc (Preview) Before you respond, know that i ask myself" why do you stay"" all the time so theres no need to go there. I just need some compassion. Ah never came home last nite. . It was supposed to be date night, (ha, i had a date with my empty house & a snowstorm). . he had all sorts of excuses. Igot u...	Theoceancalls	6	530	Feb 22, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	What are your thoughts on surrendering (Preview) This topic came up in a meeting this week and I thought I would throw it out to the boards. What does surrender feel like to you? What does it look like in your life after being in program for a while?	andromeda	10	1061	Feb 22, 2015 by pinkchip
	ODAT reading for 2-22 (Preview) Today's reading in the ODAT is a great reminder to every person who has been in program for some time. It points out that when we are attending an Al-Anon meeting we should always keep in mind that the newcomer in the room is feeling, lost, confused, alone and bewildered when they first enter a meeting....	hotrod	2	455	Feb 22, 2015 by hotrod
	In need of direction (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new here, and am in need of serious direction. I'm 32, just finished graduate school, and am still at home because of it. Now, my father is a hardcore alcoholic. He's always been a drinker, but now it's the hard stuff. He has pretty much destroyed my entire family. I truly feel he...	phinatic514	11	566	Feb 22, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Should you care (Preview) http://survey.brxresearch.com/s3/Al-Anon-2015-Membership-Survey	Jerry F	5	399	Feb 22, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	c2c feb 20th unacceptable behaviour (Preview) Todays reading is about unacceptable behaviour and how alanon helps us work out what it is and then to set boundaries and limits. It talks about how we can stop accepting unacceptable behaviour from the alcoholics in our lives but often we still accept it from ourselves. Our own attitude towards ou...	el-cee	6	725	Feb 22, 2015 by Debb
	ODAT Daily Reading for 2-21 (Preview) Today's reading in the Alanon Daily Reader, " One Day at a Time in Alanon." Is a powerful reminder of how we hurt ourselves more than others while living with this disease and using our old tools to cope. The reading points out that we have considerable power to change our lives if we are w...	hotrod	2	2597	Feb 22, 2015 by Debb
	Updates, boundaries and other stuff. (Preview) Hi all. Just a little update about this, that n everything! I've been a busy bee this last week, not on my computer much. That's a very good thing for me, I am feeling pretty good! That's not to say life is perfect, but I am mostly enjoying it all the same. A has been here a lot this week. Being Mr Sober Superma...	missmeliss	13	755	Feb 22, 2015 by DavidG
	The Light Bulb Came On- My New Boss is My AH Incarnated! (Preview) So I started a new job with a nice raise and promotion two months ago. And, to be honest, my serenity is really being maxed out. I finally pinpointed what the real core of the problem was last night before I went to bed. My new boss is the female version of my AH (RIP)! I don't have any idea if she might have add...	Green Eyes	5	682	Feb 22, 2015 by Green Eyes
	How to Enforce Boundaries and Know When To Take a Break From the Relationship? boundaries leaving venting (Preview) Hello all, I am new here. Been asking these questions for some time now. I need some advice as I don't know where to turn, and feeling very isolated and alone. I plan on going to an Al-Anon meeting Monday evening. I have been in a relationship with a self-professed alcoholic for 2-1/2 years. I had not know...	HangingOnByAThread	14	8494	Feb 22, 2015 by GreenerGal
	Leave me alone to think........... (Preview) And this is what you get! Tonight we finished off the extended versions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy - we stop them when we want, watch till one of us wants to stop, continue the next day or so until we've once again finished the mass of hours with all the extras. during the scene where Frodo and Sam are aw...	likemyheart	7	666	Feb 21, 2015 by el-cee
	Husband in rehab until early March. New here and need support. (Preview) My husband is in rehab out of state over 2 1/2 hours away. He put himself there because I left him after I couldn't handle it anymore. I literally had to dump him passed out in the car in a Walmart parking lot and go in and call a cab to take me away and stay with a friend because he threatened to kill me before he...	kiowawoman	16	890	Feb 21, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	restless and longing for adventure (Preview) I am looking out my window watching more snow fall,we are getting a lot of snow again today.I am feeling like a caged animal.I have been thinking a lot about where I am at and what I like and don't like,I guess it is from paying attention to my needs for a change.I don't really love where I live,it is comfort...	mjferg	3	774	Feb 21, 2015 by Mirandac
	"Third Party" enablers (Preview) I have done well in letting my husband take on his own issues, but those around me often step on my toes. Just when I think that maybe, just maybe this disease will finally slap him in the face, someone else intervenes and cleans up the mess. Last week my husband went out with his friend and came home drunk....	watchdog1999	13	1077	Feb 21, 2015 by pinkchip
	Needing Strength Today (Preview) Apparently, I am being cold, harsh, and unkind. I think I am just being real. I do wonder, when I answer questions honestly, like "Don't you want to take me to my mom's before work?" (No, I don't. Your mom isn't home, and taking you there before work means I have to pick you up after work. It add...	Skorpi	9	752	Feb 20, 2015 by Jerry F
	Haven't posted in some time...update (Preview) I have been lurking and reading but haven't posted in quite some time. There have been some changes in my life - I met a wonderful man after being on my own for over 15 years. Don't know how this relationship will unfold but I am very happy with the direction this is taking. I decided to take early retiremen...	Rose50	6	633	Feb 20, 2015 by Rose50
	Struggling to understand a particular pattern in my marriage (Preview) Please shed some light on this. Sometimes when my husband and I have arguments, I cry a lot (hard). I end up feeling very sorry for myself and I end up thinking he is the worst person in the world. I go to the extremes and I end up feeling like I'm a victim and he is a horrible person. When I'm crying, he see...	AliceinWonderland	7	728	Feb 20, 2015 by Mirandac
	First time poster (Preview) Hi Everyone. This is my first time posting, though I've been browsing and reading for a few weeks now, and decided it was finally time to start taking part. My boyfriend of 6 months is an alcoholic. He went to a rehab clinic 6 or 7 years ago, and was sober for less than a year before relapsing. Since we'...	havingablast	3	468	Feb 20, 2015 by Jerry F
	getting through one hour at a time (Preview) I talked with a couple of program friends. I was crying a lot yesterday. Everyone said basically the same thing as everyone here on the boards. I talked with him last night. I explained how the trust I had was no longer their. He said he was going to still love me no matter what I decided. I said my decision i...	texasgal	6	775	Feb 20, 2015 by Jerry F
	My husband is a rollercoaster (Preview) My husband is a constant drinker. He does not go a day without at least having a few beers. I'm pretty sure he sneaks beers in the mornings and at other inappropriate times during the day. He seems to secretly binge drink hard liquor in cycles, usually on the weekends every month or so. That is when i...	Smiley99	14	929	Feb 19, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	I never thought I would need this kind of help.... (Preview) Hi, Im new to this site. I was turned on to it by a friend of mine. I think she is worried about me and the toll alcohol is taking on my life. I dont drink - at least not often. Maybe a glass of wine at a party, but its not me thats causing all the hurt. Its my parents. They divorced a few years ago but they both have p...	Claddagh7	5	624	Feb 19, 2015 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.