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When I'm wondering whether he's dead or alive . . .
(Preview)
90% of the very limited communication with my adult son lately has mostly been from me to him with an "I love you" text every other day or so, and that's about it - he's told me that any type of supportive message from me like "I have faith in you" annoys him, so I stopped with anything...
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texas yankee
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10
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721
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Detachment when they keep trying to pull on you
(Preview)
My ah is almost 90 days sober but has been very hard to deal with. Has anyone had a hard time with getting space to detach. I can detach with out a problem, really. But I have a hard time with the constant pity party. Today: I get several emails from my ah that he has to leave his job because he is an idiot that ca...
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Helpangel
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11
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630
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Closure
(Preview)
I am looking for closure from my marriage from my dry ah. He is not willing to be honest or upfront. I can't see that he has grown or changed since he started AA Three years ago. He is still not emotionally sober even after being dry for 30 years. The addict in him is alive and kicking. He has an AA Gf and show...
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Mirandac
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25
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885
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Newbie/my story/it's happened again
(Preview)
Hi, my name is kris. I was raised in an alcoholic, abusive home and my mother remains with the abuser to this day(my step-father).i told myself that I would never put my kids through the abuse I went through as a child, I met my boyfriend 9yrs ago, he drank beer. He wasn't physically abusive and it took me a...
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Cafeaulait1973
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4
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532
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First post, very nervous!
(Preview)
Hi, I've been married 5 years and but living with my AH for about 10 years. I always knew he was a big drinker and for a long time I was too, we own a bar and it's easy enough to find yourself drinking more than you should. I all but cut out my own drinking and have been actively seeking out alternative employme...
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hopefull2015
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14
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691
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Feeling Paranoid about Husbands Drinking
(Preview)
Hello, I first posted a few days ago and got some really helpful responses, so here goes. Today I am feeling really paranoid that my husband was drinking last night. After I went to bed, he came in to say good night and check on me and our baby. His eyes looked red and he seemed a little off. He could have just...
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AlmaDaigle
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3
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597
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How to detach
(Preview)
Im pretty new to al anon. I went to my 3rd meeting tonight. I felt better when I left. When I came home, however, my fiance was drunk again. He got out of a 30-day inpatient rehab about 2 months ago and he has been drunk every day after the first week of getting out. Tonight he came to go bed and told me that I se...
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shealah
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12
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1014
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Hope For Today Feb 24
(Preview)
Good morning MIP: This reading begins with a comparison between choosing to ignore certain traffic rules in order to make our journeys a little shorter; taking some shortcuts and not following the suggested Traditions, guidelines and policies of Alanon. I am thinking about shortcuts and how in t...
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yanksfan51
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2
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402
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friendly venting
(Preview)
oohhhh. Acceptance stage. Im going to have to work through that some. Some of the feedback i recd about acceptance and expectations were spot on but hard to figure out. . In practice, in life. I need to process this mire. But right now to vent. My ah actually wonders why the tension level.goes up when he...
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Theoceancalls
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3
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646
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Starting over isn't easy, I had a date with someone new last night.
(Preview)
Hello to all, I've been a way for a few weeks from posting, needed to clear my head about a lot of things. I still talk to my ex ABF on the phone, but it clearly isn't the same and I don't feel the way I used to about him. For all that don't know, I was involved with a man for a year and a half, and found out he was a he...
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Katrina324
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8
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672
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newbie
(Preview)
This is my first time posting on a board like this, but I could really use some words of wisdom and/or encouragement. I met my fiance almost 3 years ago. At the time he was a long distance truck drive and was home 3 nights a week, every Tuesday and Friday and Saturday. We fell in love so quickly...I was so...
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shealah
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10
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449
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Thoughts on One Day At a Time reading for Monday 2-23-2015
(Preview)
The O D A T for today, February 23 speaks about my favorite subject; "Detachment". The reading goes on to explain that detachment, in the Al-Anon sense does not mean separating ourselves or our love and compassion from people. It simply means that we bring the focus back within ourselves...
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hotrod
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2
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519
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OH WOW!!
(Preview)
So today is Sunday?? I got up and dressed for work!! What the heck...wife was still in bed and I looked at the calendar, Monday is President's Day and so being the rocket scientist I think I am at times I figured she had a holiday until she came into the kitchen and said with a smile, "Today is Su...
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Jerry F
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5
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502
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A gratitude list in and of itself
(Preview)
I was thinking today about the times my girlfriends had made sincere positive comments about who I was as a person. NOT flattery but they sincerely "liked" me. There are a lot of negative tapes in my head, poor me pity party stuff mostly from my childhood now but some from past alcoholic/ de...
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glad
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1
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566
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New here and have some questions about my newly sober partner
(Preview)
I've been hovering around the board for awhile now, I just started attending Al-Anon in November and I'm getting really confused. My partner started out patient treatment and attending AA meetings 30 days ago. The majority of the time it's been really amazing and positive, but once in awhile he re...
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GreenerGal
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6
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681
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What is going on?
(Preview)
So i have bee all over the place for the last two weeks. Partner away working and atto tide towards me changed which is again this 1%. He is being distant, hasnt said he loves me or misses me which he always usually does but asks what I want to do when he gets home, booming gig tickets and telling me to tell him...
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To be loved
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11
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767
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Therapist insight on dry drunk behavior
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I have been struggling with my dry drunk who is about 90 days sober. My ah and I have been seeing a therapist and she said his behavior is normal and it will get better with time. First, Everytime a blow up happens I shut down. I am worried and anxious a lot because I never know when the nice guy or...
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Helpangel
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15
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558
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Acceptance helpme please
(Preview)
husband has been sober for almost two years And attends several meetings a week. I have been working alanine for 3 years. I am just so unhappy with myself. I just am not happy with my sober husband. I have everything I would ever need and want. On the outside we are the perfect family (kids are grown). I can...
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Auntrosie
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8
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454
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need some tlc
(Preview)
Before you respond, know that i ask myself" why do you stay"" all the time so theres no need to go there. I just need some compassion. Ah never came home last nite. . It was supposed to be date night, (ha, i had a date with my empty house & a snowstorm). . he had all sorts of excuses. Igot u...
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Theoceancalls
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6
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504
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What are your thoughts on surrendering
(Preview)
This topic came up in a meeting this week and I thought I would throw it out to the boards. What does surrender feel like to you? What does it look like in your life after being in program for a while?
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andromeda
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10
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1003
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ODAT reading for 2-22
(Preview)
Today's reading in the ODAT is a great reminder to every person who has been in program for some time. It points out that when we are attending an Al-Anon meeting we should always keep in mind that the newcomer in the room is feeling, lost, confused, alone and bewildered when they first enter a meeting....
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hotrod
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2
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429
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In need of direction
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm new here, and am in need of serious direction. I'm 32, just finished graduate school, and am still at home because of it. Now, my father is a hardcore alcoholic. He's always been a drinker, but now it's the hard stuff. He has pretty much destroyed my entire family. I truly feel he...
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phinatic514
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11
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546
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Should you care
(Preview)
http://survey.brxresearch.com/s3/Al-Anon-2015-Membership-Survey
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Jerry F
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5
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372
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c2c feb 20th unacceptable behaviour
(Preview)
Todays reading is about unacceptable behaviour and how alanon helps us work out what it is and then to set boundaries and limits. It talks about how we can stop accepting unacceptable behaviour from the alcoholics in our lives but often we still accept it from ourselves. Our own attitude towards ou...
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el-cee
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6
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701
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ODAT Daily Reading for 2-21
(Preview)
Today's reading in the Alanon Daily Reader, " One Day at a Time in Alanon." Is a powerful reminder of how we hurt ourselves more than others while living with this disease and using our old tools to cope. The reading points out that we have considerable power to change our lives if we are w...
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hotrod
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2
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2392
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Updates, boundaries and other stuff.
(Preview)
Hi all. Just a little update about this, that n everything! I've been a busy bee this last week, not on my computer much. That's a very good thing for me, I am feeling pretty good! That's not to say life is perfect, but I am mostly enjoying it all the same. A has been here a lot this week. Being Mr Sober Superma...
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missmeliss
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13
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729
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The Light Bulb Came On- My New Boss is My AH Incarnated!
(Preview)
So I started a new job with a nice raise and promotion two months ago. And, to be honest, my serenity is really being maxed out. I finally pinpointed what the real core of the problem was last night before I went to bed. My new boss is the female version of my AH (RIP)! I don't have any idea if she might have add...
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Green Eyes
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5
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654
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How to Enforce Boundaries and Know When To Take a Break From the Relationship?
(Preview)
Hello all, I am new here. Been asking these questions for some time now. I need some advice as I don't know where to turn, and feeling very isolated and alone. I plan on going to an Al-Anon meeting Monday evening. I have been in a relationship with a self-professed alcoholic for 2-1/2 years. I had not know...
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HangingOnByAThread
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14
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7785
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Leave me alone to think...........
(Preview)
And this is what you get! Tonight we finished off the extended versions of the Lord of the Rings trilogy - we stop them when we want, watch till one of us wants to stop, continue the next day or so until we've once again finished the mass of hours with all the extras. during the scene where Frodo and Sam are aw...
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likemyheart
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7
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648
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Husband in rehab until early March. New here and need support.
(Preview)
My husband is in rehab out of state over 2 1/2 hours away. He put himself there because I left him after I couldn't handle it anymore. I literally had to dump him passed out in the car in a Walmart parking lot and go in and call a cab to take me away and stay with a friend because he threatened to kill me before he...
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kiowawoman
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16
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868
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restless and longing for adventure
(Preview)
I am looking out my window watching more snow fall,we are getting a lot of snow again today.I am feeling like a caged animal.I have been thinking a lot about where I am at and what I like and don't like,I guess it is from paying attention to my needs for a change.I don't really love where I live,it is comfort...
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mjferg
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3
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729
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"Third Party" enablers
(Preview)
I have done well in letting my husband take on his own issues, but those around me often step on my toes. Just when I think that maybe, just maybe this disease will finally slap him in the face, someone else intervenes and cleans up the mess. Last week my husband went out with his friend and came home drunk....
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watchdog1999
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13
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1041
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Needing Strength Today
(Preview)
Apparently, I am being cold, harsh, and unkind. I think I am just being real. I do wonder, when I answer questions honestly, like "Don't you want to take me to my mom's before work?" (No, I don't. Your mom isn't home, and taking you there before work means I have to pick you up after work. It add...
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Skorpi
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9
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722
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Haven't posted in some time...update
(Preview)
I have been lurking and reading but haven't posted in quite some time. There have been some changes in my life - I met a wonderful man after being on my own for over 15 years. Don't know how this relationship will unfold but I am very happy with the direction this is taking. I decided to take early retiremen...
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Rose50
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6
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614
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Struggling to understand a particular pattern in my marriage
(Preview)
Please shed some light on this. Sometimes when my husband and I have arguments, I cry a lot (hard). I end up feeling very sorry for myself and I end up thinking he is the worst person in the world. I go to the extremes and I end up feeling like I'm a victim and he is a horrible person. When I'm crying, he see...
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AliceinWonderland
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7
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704
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First time poster
(Preview)
Hi Everyone. This is my first time posting, though I've been browsing and reading for a few weeks now, and decided it was finally time to start taking part. My boyfriend of 6 months is an alcoholic. He went to a rehab clinic 6 or 7 years ago, and was sober for less than a year before relapsing. Since we'...
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havingablast
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3
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450
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getting through one hour at a time
(Preview)
I talked with a couple of program friends. I was crying a lot yesterday. Everyone said basically the same thing as everyone here on the boards. I talked with him last night. I explained how the trust I had was no longer their. He said he was going to still love me no matter what I decided. I said my decision i...
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texasgal
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6
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750
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My husband is a rollercoaster
(Preview)
My husband is a constant drinker. He does not go a day without at least having a few beers. I'm pretty sure he sneaks beers in the mornings and at other inappropriate times during the day. He seems to secretly binge drink hard liquor in cycles, usually on the weekends every month or so. That is when i...
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Smiley99
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14
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902
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I never thought I would need this kind of help....
(Preview)
Hi, Im new to this site. I was turned on to it by a friend of mine. I think she is worried about me and the toll alcohol is taking on my life. I dont drink - at least not often. Maybe a glass of wine at a party, but its not me thats causing all the hurt. Its my parents. They divorced a few years ago but they both have p...
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Claddagh7
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5
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602
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Co Dependancy?
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new to these boards. I've tried posting a few times but always end up rambling on and on and losing my train of thought. Basically, I can't be @rsed with the hassle of coming from my family any more. My dad is the alcoholic, he and mum are separated now, they're both 65. I'm 36 (woman) and I've one you...
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Sionna
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5
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511
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Looking for a Sponsor
(Preview)
Hello All, I have been dating an alcoholic for over 7 years. It has been off and on. I have been attending meetings 3-4 times a week. However, I am interested in obtaining sponsorship.
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ilc0013
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3
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461
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Long Week .. at Tuesday
(Preview)
The whole issue of I make plans and God laughs completely applies here .. LOL. I'm so sick at the moment and I'm in a whiney mood to boot. I'll admit it would be nice if someone were here to take care of me and just let do me. Literally I have made it through two 1/2 days of work and I really need to just stay ho...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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667
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coming way down...
(Preview)
After all the excitement over the weekend(it is now Tuesday) I am noticing a shift in my sleep & that I am dragging around. I guess this is just like a hangover w/o any alcohol. I am struggling...at least I don't feel wound up & keyed up. I said before that I wasn't going to post for awhile & the...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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393
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Day Five, and thankfully still sticking with it.
(Preview)
Well, it has been five days since the accident now. I discovered that the insurance we had was not the "right" kind of insurance, and I have a $407 tow and storage bill for the car. The salvage yard offered $200 for it. At least it is off my hands. And, I fixed the ground in my truck, so now the tail...
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Skorpi
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6
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528
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You have to be kidding me.... oh, wait...
(Preview)
After she drove her car into a pole, I told my wife I was going to Al-anon because I needed support for myself, and, I explained as she looked on in disbelief, I couldn't get that support from her, as she was the thing I needed support with. I said I was going to check our local library to see if they had any Al-...
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Skorpi
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5
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710
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Never ever thought I would need to join a group like this
(Preview)
Hello there - I don't know what to say, so I had best start from the beginning. I have been in a relationship with a wonderful woman for the last 4 months, but she has a problem. Well, she has a few problems not of her making but when she finds things are 'stressful' she reaches for a drink, and when she start...
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BresslawLookalike
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28
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898
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Good days, bad dreams
(Preview)
I wonder if anyone else has had or is having the experience I am. I am feeling so much better most days. If I think about the change, it doesn't even feel real. But most nights, I dream about my A hurting me, drinking, lying, the affair of the heart, all the real bad yucky stuff that went on for the last 10 y...
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Lyne
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3
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344
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My oldest turned 17 years old yesterday
(Preview)
I caught myself thinking back to her dad in the OB room with his big coffee mug full of beer and being afraid of him holding her. And so many other memories of being afraid of leaving him with her while I had to go to work in the evening after he got home during her toddler years. Most of her life and my memories...
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Breakingfree
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8
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590
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hope for today feb 19th
(Preview)
This book has the adult child in mind. Todays reading talks about having a hole in our hearts from childhood, growing up with alcoholic parents, and thinking others will fill it, including the alcoholic husband. The reading talks about how working the alanon program can free us from secrets of our...
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el-cee
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1
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473
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I am back
(Preview)
Hi MIP family I have just returned. Thanks you so much for your many prayers and warm wishes. With the passing of my brother, in addition to 15 foot waves and a bout of sea sickness, I still managed to have a good and relaxing time. Thanks to alanon tools and much prayer. Looks as if you are all stil...
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hotrod
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9
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606
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New to Al-Anon
(Preview)
Hi every one, Iam new to this site and Al-Anon. I met my partner three and a half years ago. He had been in recovery for two years. He had a dual addiction drink and cocaine. He was a lovely partner but very hard work mood wise very up and down. I started to read the signs of him being moody very self absor...
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clarkangel
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7
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685
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Tradition 2 posted
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59654077/alanon-tradition-2/Please
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hotrod
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0
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235
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A long time coming
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I'm the wife of an alcoholic with complex issues; survivor of childhood abuse and emotional neglect...probably same old story, struggling to know what to do/say/think/feel. I have two young boys, the eldest is 9 and the youngest is 4, I try to get on with life for the most part, but after...
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Brooke G
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8
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706
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Winter and loss
(Preview)
Winter is taking a toll on me,I have been snowed in,isolated, kind of blue.We are really getting hit by old man winter.My oldest daughter had surgery, she is okay ,but I wasn't able to be there,it was right in the middle of a bad snowstorm.I felt so bad that I wasn't there for her.I also received news fro...
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mjferg
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2
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486
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Hubby in ER with delirium tremens-related heart arrythmia!
(Preview)
I jump-started into al anon today when I took my husband to the ER for what I thought was pneumonia (bad enough), but was told it was most likely DT related heart arrythmia! We are still awaiting tests to determine if there was any permanent heart damage. I knew he was a heavy beer drinker, but had no id...
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lynnly
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4
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590
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The move out date is today but I am still here.
(Preview)
So, last week I went to my appointment with the homeless team and they wrote a very stern letter to the LL pointing out that his illegal eviction/harassment could land him in big trouble and he needed to start correct lawful procedures if he wanted to see me out of his property. If I come to the end of the l...
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Luiza
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9
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544
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Took the day off (LOL)
(Preview)
and guess what I thought and felt before saying I was gonna do that? This is a test so lets see your answers. Remember "He's got a lot of time in" and "Progress not Perfection" along with your own experiences. Ready GO!! No time limit or ESH limit. ((((Hugs)...
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Jerry F
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14
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625
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No tears
(Preview)
Ok, so what's wrong with me? I was expecting a huge wash of emotions once I moved out. I got nothing. No tears. The only feelings I've had have been joy, peace, and 'ah, I can breathe again'. I can't tell you all how wonderful it is to not be woken up in the middle of the night by a stumbling drunk, to not h...
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andromeda
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23
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688
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need prayers
(Preview)
I am at sea Just heard my brother passed last night Please remember us in your prayers.
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hotrod
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34
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651
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Lois Wilson Share
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCkLYr8OlFY
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el-cee
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1
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267
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