Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Cmag3 · Cmag3

Hi all, I'm new here. First post. In the last week I prayed hard about my lack of power over alcohol and my active alcoholic husband. I stopped nagging him about how much he drinks and how late he stays up. Well last night he stayed up late drinking, went to work and accidentally gave away several hundred d...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

Hi All, I have to admit I am struggling with "alcoholism as a disease." I guess I see it and believe it for the most part but it feels like a double edged sword to me. I believe it is extremely helpful for the recovering addict to start trying to forgive himself and work towards a healthier, sober version o...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

hi There, I am back to al anon after a few years not in program - i live in a town whereby the meetings are few and there is cross talk etc. I have been separated for 1.5 years and I am in a 'Family" town (small city in Canada) and have very few single friends. I am reaching out but i spend way too much time a lone...

mamalioness · mamalioness

WEll, my beloved sister passed on July 25th, at 3:37 pm, PST.. 6 weeks ago, tomorrow....its been hard...terrible...even my body gave out and I couldn't eat for 4 days....There were times, I would lose my rational/reasoning thinking and thought the grinding pain would never ease up, but I think this...

safire_sun · safire_sun

My bf has been sober for over a year. We were in therapy for a while when I discovered he was messaging other women on tinder. At the advice of both our therapist, I started Al-AnoN. He is no different from when he was drinking I am trying to work through the whole "Of you sober up a horse thief, he's still a h...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "How important is it?" The author reflects on the amount of time they spend focusing their mental activity on whatever problem is in front of them. They even catch themselves thinking "Now I am concentrating on what is really important!" But,...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

it's not always to post. Sometimes it's just to let you know we're here together. Seem silly? Just wanted to share that. ((hugs))) TT

el-cee · el-cee

I'm reliving 20 years of dysfunction through my son, his gf and her child. Its horrible to watch. Shes me, addicted to the drama, cant see clearly, thinks she can help fix it, thinks it will get better, thinks its all she deserves. Hes my ex, full of anger, bitterness, fear, and the worst bit the wee girl,...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the discovery that we can choose to enjoy this day (the present). The writer reflects that he/she realized he/she was often stuck in the past-- over time it became clear that this was due to having lived with alcoholism. As a child that meant many 'pre...

joker · joker

After my anger vent about the abf being lazy, not moving, ect...I had posted my vent of anger about his laziness...well, he is now moving and doing dishes and singing, I work hard for my money...I burst out laughing...the insanity of it all..

joker · joker

Just had another Ah moment, reading posts here. I am not sure if I am on the right direction on this but your feed back would be good. The alcoholic uses any distractions: yelling, screaming, blaming, swearing, hitting, call downs, saying your crazy, degrading you, threatening to hurt you, smashing...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

It can be hard to assert boundaries when dealing with active alcoholics. My landlord is steeped in his disease, now begins drinking in the morning. I avoid calling him as much as possible. His son is now taking over the business. He is arrogant and manipulative. The upkeep here is poor, people who do th...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Okay, So things have taken a turn. I'm not sure yet as to the direction this all will go. My active A has pushed me to my breaking point. Not to the point and walk away, there is still much love I feel for my AH. There has been a lot of issues going on that has created a lot of stress both on myself and AH. I have b...

joker · joker

Since I have been in therapy, and reading Al-Anon material, I have had an ah moment and came to this conclusion. When I respond with my feelings to the alcoholic, I am responding/reacting from a child perspective. If my inner child is only 2 years old, I respond and react from a 2 year old perspective or i...

joker · joker

Its been awhile since I posted. I have been working on me. I am attneding meetings and seeing a therapist. I am seeing progress. I left the abf last weekend for the whole weekend and went to a hotel for the night as I had enough. It was bliss. I just could not tolerate the hell and the drunken abuse anymore. I...

Lyne · Lyne

SERENITY: The author suggests that if we can let go of obsession and worry about others, we may be amazed that our mind can becom calm. Because we were used to living in a constant state of crisis, we may feel uncomfortable and not know what to do or how to feel. As we quiet the mental chatter about other...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for September 3 is a very powerful meditation. It speaks about how much power,we in Al-Anon have so as to improve and shape,the texture of our lives. It points out that if we take the time to look to ourselves and ask the question, what am I doing that is creating difficulties for me o...

audrey64 · audrey64

New here and struggling. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a few years and he recently moved in. He has been sober and very active in AA for about 6 months, but before that he relapsed during the course of our relationship and I now regret sticking it out and forgiving. Even before the rela...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Along with other antics which I've already posted about, my recovering abf dau is getting married this week. He's been sober a good amount of years now and his daughter has been around for holidays and he has always shown her love. She doesn't seem to want to let him have full participation in her weddin...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Today's reading really struck me it's a constant lesson for me in terms of loving and accepting people where they are at .. I think I have a different spin, .. unconditional love is over rated .. unconditional acceptance .. that's where real freedom is in a relationship be it friendship or love, the re...

Jerry F · Jerry F

She is our grand-daughter in law and she is in Hilo for a visit and she is a beauty and the mother of 3 stunningly beautiful great-grand children and she is a daughter of an alcoholic and the wife of the son of an alcoholic/addict and she loves to drink and ....get drunk. My heart is whimpering again as i...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I am not sure how many of the MIP family have this little reader which has been around for while. It is not a daily and can be read daily. The contributions within the book are from the world-wide fellowship which makes it a very supportive reader. It is part of my wife and my literature library at home...

unbroken13 · unbroken13

My heart is so heavy to say that on August 2, 2017 My mom flew with the angels. She was the first person to love me, to hold me in her arms, my first kiss, my first everything. She was my rock..she was the glue that kept our family together. We had many laughs, right up till the end. How many can say they had a sin...

MizzB · MizzB

I had an ok holiday. ABF doesn't drink when he's with me, he's not even tempted. We didn't talk about anything but I feel it was ok to Ostrich for a bit. We talked when we got back. He wants to keep everything fun and light because if home is going to just be arguments he's just going to want to drink after a tou...

el-cee · el-cee

I don't think I've ever sincerely asked but I'm feeling the power of prayer more along my journey. This disease within my son has created a crisis and homelessness, my biggest fear , may be a possibility yet again for him. Please pray my son gets help and that those effected by his drinking get help and pr...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I told my sponsor that I no longer wanted them as a sponsor some months ago. Some weeks ago I shared in my meeting about letting go of a friend and the circumstances around that without naming the person. My sponsor was in attendance. I have not returned to that meeting and am not planning on it any time soo...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the second tradition that reminds us that a loving God expresses himself through our group conscience. The writer discusses how their small group almost seemed 'stuck in a rut'. They took a group conscience meeting and decided to try some changes - used additional CAL...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Well, after only 1 day back at the house, I made the move to live separately from my AH. I am not sure why I thought this could be smooth... probably b/c he was "supposed" to have been in treatment. Going back and sleeping at the old house just one night just seemed too weird, and I believe was sending AH the w...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

My lovely, but sometimes toxic AH is out drinking and sends me a text "you know, you always ruin my holiday weekends" Really? I always ruin your holidays!?" Pre Al-Anon me would have marched my arse down to the bar, right hooked him in the jaw and told him to put his phone away (true story, not proud), but t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses expectations and motives. Many of us have tried to change other people to suit our own desires. We knew what we needed, and when our wanted needs weren't met, we often blamed other people. We were looking outside ourselves for one who would be there but not impose. Our wa...

Iamhere · Iamhere

With a heavy heart, I share that one of my gal pals who attends our Saturday morning meeting opted out of the meeting this past Saturday, and instead ended her life. We are shocked and grieving as she was a lovely spirit and a gentle soul. I ask that any who feel compelled to pray for those suffering with...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am a meddler and for that reason alone I belong in Alanon .. lol .. seriously. I am a chronic compulsive meddler and it is not easy to battle instincts. My daughter and her mental health issues with anxiety have really brought out some things in me I thought I had been pretty good about setting aside .....

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author shares their sponsor's suggestion to a low day - making a list of all things that made them unhappy - and the sponsor's suggestion to a good day - making a gratitude list. When the author compared both lists, they found that the lists were almost identical. The people, pla...

Lee43stan · Lee43stan

The WSO suggests Alanon does not use these three terms: qualifier, codependent, crosstalk. They are terms used in counseling, therapy. In Alanon the focus is on me and I belong because I have been affected by a friend or family who drinks. The A drinks and I am affected by/ obsessed to the A. I need help a...

Aline · Aline

I've stopped financially enabling my A and mostly have a good handle on detachment, now I'm wondering how "with love" comes into this. Might be I'm just letting his negative attitude get to me (what a shocker that would be!) and I'm actually doing ok with this part as well... I'm not sure. Recently our i...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive realised that I cant ride on my early days step work forever, I've got to keep on with the step 4 inventory, the self searching seems to be so important for our recovery and for our continued quest towards emotional sobriety. Alcoholism seems to come into my life like an earthquake and shakes me to t...

Lyne · Lyne

For about 26 years I have been devoted to my A. I have not been her priority, she had an emotional affair, lied, snuck around, and had other priorities , especially drinking. Towards the end of 2016 I bought a condo to live half time near my son and granddaughter . NOW she is devastated and feels fear an...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about setting boundaries and detachment with love. The writer describes a relationship with his/her mother which is affected by alcoholism, even after the mother is no longer drinking. One phrase used to describe the relationship is 'I didn't know wher...

Ruthie050573 · Ruthie050573

So, I've been around alcoholics my whole life. Intend to be an enabler... I was married 21 years to an alcoholic who's had 3 DUIs... walked the road of those financially and legal consequences with him for 2 of those while married. The other one was while divorced and walked the road legally by refusing...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Good morning all. I have just been feeling so sad the last couple of days at the destruction the disease causes in the sufferer and in the relationships around the alcoholic. I know that's why we have al-anon but it doesn't take away the pain of a loved one drinking themselves to death or of the hurtful st...

WestMan · WestMan

I've been slowly easing into Al-Anon since around April. I'm happy to say that it has been quite helpful. Both the face-to-face meetings and this forum (thank you) have been very good for me. I've been keeping my eyes and ears open for someone who might be a potential sponsor. I wasn't in a hurry but hav...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

We are finally getting some answers to what has been going on with my girl. First off she's doing great .. it's really been a crazy ride, I have learned soooo much. I was finally able to get her into the pysch which I am never thrilled with only because it has been my experience in a small town based upon th...

Peetzie · Peetzie

can someone tell me at what stage 'in the rooms' of AA do phone numbers get exchanged. Is it something that happens between members when they are having cosy one to one chats with each other. I can't for the life of me see where amongst the sharing and quoting of working the programme etc, it is suggested t...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

ive been living with my boyfriend happily for the past 5 mths but he has this werid situation that is tearing me up. i have tried to give the thing back to him,tried to ignore it,give it to higher power with no results basically a few years ago, he co signed on a friend of a friend's apartment lease. he knows...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

My adult daughter has relapsed for the second time in 3 months. She went to a 30 day rehab and got back together during that time with her ex boyfriend who had dumped her. She was sober for a few weeks, and they were back together, until she went on a several day binge, and the boyfriend dumped her again. I th...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I had to bolt from our shared home this past weekend. The reality of Kid and I moving out hit AH and things just got to emotional... not angry mind you, just emotional and I began to feel sorrow and guilt for what I KNOW in my heart to be the next right thing for me and Kid. I knew I was in danger of listening to...

Bo · Bo

We face so many things as a result of this disease...but I face many things as a result of me. It could be my "stinking thinking" or my expectations, or me wanting to be right, wanting what I want, which is always something good, perhaps I just want the alcoholic to want to get better. Who knows. Often, som...

El · El

Good morning all. I almost feel badly posting my concern while there is so much devastation in Texas. My problems aren't even problems compared to what that area of the country is going through.....so forgive my whining here today! This fear of mine rears its head every time we are going to have out o...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Dear MIP Family, I had to send a letter to my AH's family yesterday. Even though my husband is dry for now, he has not really done anything about his responsibilities. Long story long, almost a month ago my AH was fired from his job. According to him, it was after he went to his boss to say he needed help for...

Lyne · Lyne

Learning about trust: The author spoke of her difficulty trusting other people, and expected rejection when she asked someone to sponsor her. But she was accepted by the sponsor, guided through the steps, and over time received so many positive responses. The author remarks that she was willing...

Flyfree · Flyfree

Hi all need for ESH. I am trying to have clarity in my thinking. My response to my AH has changed. I went away last week end when I came back I noticed I have very little patience for his nonsense. Thursday evening he left and didn't return with my car till Saturday morning. Constantly says he loves me and he...

Thunder · Thunder

I am so upset. Got up this morning, did my prayers and quiet time. The thoughts roaming through my head negative. I was suppose to do something with my sister and what does she do, what she always does, think about herself. She sends me a random text and then when I text back she doesn't reply. I have a...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

Hello and thank you all for being so welcoming. Looking for suggestions here. So my husband is not a typical alcoholic--but definite problem with alcohol (drinks 3-5 beens in a sitting, drinks at least 5-6 days a week, is loud, obnoxious, can be insensitive with what he says, slurs words at times....

pinkchip · pinkchip

Have not been here for a while, but just wanted to say hi. This whole year's major AA/alanon work was all about working on anger and developing more patience to not snap qhen I feel slighted or condescended to. I didn't know those were defects that were so bad until it started biting me in the ass. Other...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Since today's share was posted later than desired, I decided to post for tomorrow early!!! Perhaps they can balance out in some way! Tomorrow's reading talks about what was expected at a member's first meeting vs. what was delivered. The writer shares disappointment that the Twelve Steps were pr...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Hi, I am reading my One Day at a Time book, my Courage to Change Book but feeling that old familiar feeling of anxiety. I feel it so often when my AH is about to come home or when I am about to walk in the door. It can be months of sobriety and that ugly feeling of what will I find when I walk in the door has left hi...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

Good morning everyone, it's 10am and I'm still in bed. I work a late shift but usually would be up by now. Today however the anxiety and maybe depression have had their way. The last time I checked in my MI son had just come home and the A was having a good tantrum. My own drama is that I'm supposed to be having...

milkwood · milkwood

Yesterday I learnt that my husband relapsed and that this happened a year ago. Not my problem, just sad. With this awareness comes awareness of a lot of lies and those do hurt, although not as much as they used to. I've been away studying for ten months with occasional visits home. Now after my course ha...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

Hi everyone- just need to vent a little. My AH & I are in marriage counseling. He's desperately unhappy and depressed (surprise!) and I truly want to be support and loving. But-I'm starting to wonder if I'm stuck on step one and thinking I can do something to fix him. Like maybe he'll wake up &...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Better late than not at all !!! Today's reading is a great one - it's about denial. For many of us, when we find recovery, we are amazed how many signs were right in front of us, yet we acted as if there was not a problem. Some deny the alcoholic has a drinking issue, others are willing to blame the drinker f...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	It's happening (Preview) Hi all, I'm new here. First post. In the last week I prayed hard about my lack of power over alcohol and my active alcoholic husband. I stopped nagging him about how much he drinks and how late he stays up. Well last night he stayed up late drinking, went to work and accidentally gave away several hundred d...	Cmag3	3	1878	Sep 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Alcoholism as a disease and lingering guilt for putting myself first (Preview) Hi All, I have to admit I am struggling with "alcoholism as a disease." I guess I see it and believe it for the most part but it feels like a double edged sword to me. I believe it is extremely helpful for the recovering addict to start trying to forgive himself and work towards a healthier, sober version o...	gratefulforafuture	17	1875	Sep 7, 2017 by Wolfie55
	Dealing With Loneliness after a Separation in Program (Preview) hi There, I am back to al anon after a few years not in program - i live in a town whereby the meetings are few and there is cross talk etc. I have been separated for 1.5 years and I am in a 'Family" town (small city in Canada) and have very few single friends. I am reaching out but i spend way too much time a lone...	Charlotte22	8	2503	Sep 7, 2017 by mamalioness
	Well its been 6 weeks tomorrow (Preview) WEll, my beloved sister passed on July 25th, at 3:37 pm, PST.. 6 weeks ago, tomorrow....its been hard...terrible...even my body gave out and I couldn't eat for 4 days....There were times, I would lose my rational/reasoning thinking and thought the grinding pain would never ease up, but I think this...	mamalioness	13	1670	Sep 7, 2017 by mamalioness
	Dry drunk in recovery? (Preview) My bf has been sober for over a year. We were in therapy for a while when I discovered he was messaging other women on tinder. At the advice of both our therapist, I started Al-AnoN. He is no different from when he was drinking I am trying to work through the whole "Of you sober up a horse thief, he's still a h...	safire_sun	8	557	Sep 6, 2017 by Wolfie55
	Courage to Change September 6 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "How important is it?" The author reflects on the amount of time they spend focusing their mental activity on whatever problem is in front of them. They even catch themselves thinking "Now I am concentrating on what is really important!" But,...	Skorpi	2	643	Sep 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	When I sign on... (Preview) it's not always to post. Sometimes it's just to let you know we're here together. Seem silly? Just wanted to share that. ((hugs))) TT	tiredtonite	7	515	Sep 6, 2017 by Skorpi
	More to learn? (Preview) I'm reliving 20 years of dysfunction through my son, his gf and her child. Its horrible to watch. Shes me, addicted to the drama, cant see clearly, thinks she can help fix it, thinks it will get better, thinks its all she deserves. Hes my ex, full of anger, bitterness, fear, and the worst bit the wee girl,...	el-cee	8	509	Sep 5, 2017 by _bunny_
	Hope for Today Sept 5 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the discovery that we can choose to enjoy this day (the present). The writer reflects that he/she realized he/she was often stuck in the past-- over time it became clear that this was due to having lived with alcoholism. As a child that meant many 'pre...	yanksfan51	6	639	Sep 5, 2017 by bud
	Had a good laugh (Preview) After my anger vent about the abf being lazy, not moving, ect...I had posted my vent of anger about his laziness...well, he is now moving and doing dishes and singing, I work hard for my money...I burst out laughing...the insanity of it all..	joker	5	482	Sep 5, 2017 by Iamhere
	distractions used (Preview) Just had another Ah moment, reading posts here. I am not sure if I am on the right direction on this but your feed back would be good. The alcoholic uses any distractions: yelling, screaming, blaming, swearing, hitting, call downs, saying your crazy, degrading you, threatening to hurt you, smashing...	joker	7	580	Sep 5, 2017 by Bo
	May be a nudge from hp (Preview) It can be hard to assert boundaries when dealing with active alcoholics. My landlord is steeped in his disease, now begins drinking in the morning. I avoid calling him as much as possible. His son is now taking over the business. He is arrogant and manipulative. The upkeep here is poor, people who do th...	tiredtonite	3	2051	Sep 4, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Living thankfully with an AH (Preview) Okay, So things have taken a turn. I'm not sure yet as to the direction this all will go. My active A has pushed me to my breaking point. Not to the point and walk away, there is still much love I feel for my AH. There has been a lot of issues going on that has created a lot of stress both on myself and AH. I have b...	Curlyblu	8	532	Sep 4, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Emotions VS thinking (Preview) Since I have been in therapy, and reading Al-Anon material, I have had an ah moment and came to this conclusion. When I respond with my feelings to the alcoholic, I am responding/reacting from a child perspective. If my inner child is only 2 years old, I respond and react from a 2 year old perspective or i...	joker	2	499	Sep 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	seeing the circle (Preview) Its been awhile since I posted. I have been working on me. I am attneding meetings and seeing a therapist. I am seeing progress. I left the abf last weekend for the whole weekend and went to a hotel for the night as I had enough. It was bliss. I just could not tolerate the hell and the drunken abuse anymore. I...	joker	6	489	Sep 4, 2017 by Flyfree
	C2C 9/4 (Preview) SERENITY: The author suggests that if we can let go of obsession and worry about others, we may be amazed that our mind can becom calm. Because we were used to living in a constant state of crisis, we may feel uncomfortable and not know what to do or how to feel. As we quiet the mental chatter about other...	Lyne	2	484	Sep 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 9-3-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for September 3 is a very powerful meditation. It speaks about how much power,we in Al-Anon have so as to improve and shape,the texture of our lives. It points out that if we take the time to look to ourselves and ask the question, what am I doing that is creating difficulties for me o...	hotrod	6	656	Sep 4, 2017 by Aline
	Newbie - made a mistake (Preview) New here and struggling. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a few years and he recently moved in. He has been sober and very active in AA for about 6 months, but before that he relapsed during the course of our relationship and I now regret sticking it out and forgiving. Even before the rela...	audrey64	11	1607	Sep 4, 2017 by Jerry F
	What a week and it's not over yet (Preview) Along with other antics which I've already posted about, my recovering abf dau is getting married this week. He's been sober a good amount of years now and his daughter has been around for holidays and he has always shown her love. She doesn't seem to want to let him have full participation in her weddin...	tiredtonite	13	698	Sep 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT 9/2 (Preview) Today's reading really struck me it's a constant lesson for me in terms of loving and accepting people where they are at .. I think I have a different spin, .. unconditional love is over rated .. unconditional acceptance .. that's where real freedom is in a relationship be it friendship or love, the re...	SerenityRUS	3	499	Sep 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	A Facebook reality.... (Preview) She is our grand-daughter in law and she is in Hilo for a visit and she is a beauty and the mother of 3 stunningly beautiful great-grand children and she is a daughter of an alcoholic and the wife of the son of an alcoholic/addict and she loves to drink and ....get drunk. My heart is whimpering again as i...	Jerry F	14	2636	Sep 3, 2017 by wp
	As we understood (Preview) I am not sure how many of the MIP family have this little reader which has been around for while. It is not a daily and can be read daily. The contributions within the book are from the world-wide fellowship which makes it a very supportive reader. It is part of my wife and my literature library at home...	Jerry F	5	503	Sep 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	with a sad heart (Preview) My heart is so heavy to say that on August 2, 2017 My mom flew with the angels. She was the first person to love me, to hold me in her arms, my first kiss, my first everything. She was my rock..she was the glue that kept our family together. We had many laughs, right up till the end. How many can say they had a sin...	unbroken13	16	694	Sep 3, 2017 by wp
	The Centre of the Universe (Preview) I had an ok holiday. ABF doesn't drink when he's with me, he's not even tempted. We didn't talk about anything but I feel it was ok to Ostrich for a bit. We talked when we got back. He wants to keep everything fun and light because if home is going to just be arguments he's just going to want to drink after a tou...	MizzB	14	618	Sep 2, 2017 by Lyne
	Can I have prayers please? (Preview) I don't think I've ever sincerely asked but I'm feeling the power of prayer more along my journey. This disease within my son has created a crisis and homelessness, my biggest fear , may be a possibility yet again for him. Please pray my son gets help and that those effected by his drinking get help and pr...	el-cee	21	2798	Sep 1, 2017 by MizzB
	Old Sponsor Trying to Engage (Preview) I told my sponsor that I no longer wanted them as a sponsor some months ago. Some weeks ago I shared in my meeting about letting go of a friend and the circumstances around that without naming the person. My sponsor was in attendance. I have not returned to that meeting and am not planning on it any time soo...	tiredtonite	11	2875	Sep 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/1/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the second tradition that reminds us that a loving God expresses himself through our group conscience. The writer discusses how their small group almost seemed 'stuck in a rut'. They took a group conscience meeting and decided to try some changes - used additional CAL...	Iamhere	2	512	Sep 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Kid & I are out, w/"BIG" move this weekend (Preview) Well, after only 1 day back at the house, I made the move to live separately from my AH. I am not sure why I thought this could be smooth... probably b/c he was "supposed" to have been in treatment. Going back and sleeping at the old house just one night just seemed too weird, and I believe was sending AH the w...	PosiesandPuppies	14	879	Sep 1, 2017 by MizzB
	Bless him, change me (Preview) My lovely, but sometimes toxic AH is out drinking and sends me a text "you know, you always ruin my holiday weekends" Really? I always ruin your holidays!?" Pre Al-Anon me would have marched my arse down to the bar, right hooked him in the jaw and told him to put his phone away (true story, not proud), but t...	_bunny_	7	872	Sep 1, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/31/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses expectations and motives. Many of us have tried to change other people to suit our own desires. We knew what we needed, and when our wanted needs weren't met, we often blamed other people. We were looking outside ourselves for one who would be there but not impose. Our wa...	Iamhere	6	441	Aug 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Sitting with My Sadness (Preview) With a heavy heart, I share that one of my gal pals who attends our Saturday morning meeting opted out of the meeting this past Saturday, and instead ended her life. We are shocked and grieving as she was a lovely spirit and a gentle soul. I ask that any who feel compelled to pray for those suffering with...	Iamhere	32	7094	Aug 31, 2017 by wifeofalcoholic
	Struggling wtih not meddling .. (Preview) I am a meddler and for that reason alone I belong in Alanon .. lol .. seriously. I am a chronic compulsive meddler and it is not easy to battle instincts. My daughter and her mental health issues with anxiety have really brought out some things in me I thought I had been pretty good about setting aside .....	SerenityRUS	2	535	Aug 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change August 30 (Preview) In today's reading, the author shares their sponsor's suggestion to a low day - making a list of all things that made them unhappy - and the sponsor's suggestion to a good day - making a gratitude list. When the author compared both lists, they found that the lists were almost identical. The people, pla...	Skorpi	7	762	Aug 31, 2017 by DavidG
	Terms: qualifier, crosstalk, codependent (Preview) The WSO suggests Alanon does not use these three terms: qualifier, codependent, crosstalk. They are terms used in counseling, therapy. In Alanon the focus is on me and I belong because I have been affected by a friend or family who drinks. The A drinks and I am affected by/ obsessed to the A. I need help a...	Lee43stan	5	1499	Aug 31, 2017 by DavidG
	Detaching vs. detaching with love (Preview) I've stopped financially enabling my A and mostly have a good handle on detachment, now I'm wondering how "with love" comes into this. Might be I'm just letting his negative attitude get to me (what a shocker that would be!) and I'm actually doing ok with this part as well... I'm not sure. Recently our i...	Aline	9	2835	Aug 30, 2017 by Aline
	Loving step 4 (Preview) Ive realised that I cant ride on my early days step work forever, I've got to keep on with the step 4 inventory, the self searching seems to be so important for our recovery and for our continued quest towards emotional sobriety. Alcoholism seems to come into my life like an earthquake and shakes me to t...	el-cee	3	442	Aug 30, 2017 by Lyne
	No logic available (Preview) For about 26 years I have been devoted to my A. I have not been her priority, she had an emotional affair, lied, snuck around, and had other priorities , especially drinking. Towards the end of 2016 I bought a condo to live half time near my son and granddaughter . NOW she is devastated and feels fear an...	Lyne	11	1268	Aug 30, 2017 by Lyne
	Hope for Today aug 29 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about setting boundaries and detachment with love. The writer describes a relationship with his/her mother which is affected by alcoholism, even after the mother is no longer drinking. One phrase used to describe the relationship is 'I didn't know wher...	yanksfan51	6	2054	Aug 29, 2017 by DavidG
	New to group with questions about aging parents (Preview) So, I've been around alcoholics my whole life. Intend to be an enabler... I was married 21 years to an alcoholic who's had 3 DUIs... walked the road of those financially and legal consequences with him for 2 of those while married. The other one was while divorced and walked the road legally by refusing...	Ruthie050573	4	830	Aug 29, 2017 by hotrod
	Hate the disease (Preview) Good morning all. I have just been feeling so sad the last couple of days at the destruction the disease causes in the sufferer and in the relationships around the alcoholic. I know that's why we have al-anon but it doesn't take away the pain of a loved one drinking themselves to death or of the hurtful st...	Sorcha	5	584	Aug 29, 2017 by Sorcha
	I Now Have a Sponsor (Preview) I've been slowly easing into Al-Anon since around April. I'm happy to say that it has been quite helpful. Both the face-to-face meetings and this forum (thank you) have been very good for me. I've been keeping my eyes and ears open for someone who might be a potential sponsor. I wasn't in a hurry but hav...	WestMan	8	1189	Aug 29, 2017 by WestMan
	A week .. just a week .. (Preview) We are finally getting some answers to what has been going on with my girl. First off she's doing great .. it's really been a crazy ride, I have learned soooo much. I was finally able to get her into the pysch which I am never thrilled with only because it has been my experience in a small town based upon th...	SerenityRUS	4	2031	Aug 29, 2017 by andromeda
	Emotional infidelity (Preview) can someone tell me at what stage 'in the rooms' of AA do phone numbers get exchanged. Is it something that happens between members when they are having cosy one to one chats with each other. I can't for the life of me see where amongst the sharing and quoting of working the programme etc, it is suggested t...	Peetzie	9	1303	Aug 29, 2017 by Doingmybest
	what do u think ? (Preview) ive been living with my boyfriend happily for the past 5 mths but he has this werid situation that is tearing me up. i have tried to give the thing back to him,tried to ignore it,give it to higher power with no results basically a few years ago, he co signed on a friend of a friend's apartment lease. he knows...	YARNCRAZY	6	449	Aug 28, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Perspective on reaching out! (Preview) My adult daughter has relapsed for the second time in 3 months. She went to a 30 day rehab and got back together during that time with her ex boyfriend who had dumped her. She was sober for a few weeks, and they were back together, until she went on a several day binge, and the boyfriend dumped her again. I th...	Buckeye Girl	6	896	Aug 28, 2017 by el-cee
	Need a little ESH (Preview) So I had to bolt from our shared home this past weekend. The reality of Kid and I moving out hit AH and things just got to emotional... not angry mind you, just emotional and I began to feel sorrow and guilt for what I KNOW in my heart to be the next right thing for me and Kid. I knew I was in danger of listening to...	PosiesandPuppies	7	2397	Aug 28, 2017 by Jerry F
	When you are struggling... (Preview) We face so many things as a result of this disease...but I face many things as a result of me. It could be my "stinking thinking" or my expectations, or me wanting to be right, wanting what I want, which is always something good, perhaps I just want the alcoholic to want to get better. Who knows. Often, som...	Bo	2	466	Aug 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Old Fear on an Old Topic (Preview) Good morning all. I almost feel badly posting my concern while there is so much devastation in Texas. My problems aren't even problems compared to what that area of the country is going through.....so forgive my whining here today! This fear of mine rears its head every time we are going to have out o...	El	3	763	Aug 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	AH is dry, but living in La La Land (Preview) Dear MIP Family, I had to send a letter to my AH's family yesterday. Even though my husband is dry for now, he has not really done anything about his responsibilities. Long story long, almost a month ago my AH was fired from his job. According to him, it was after he went to his boss to say he needed help for...	PosiesandPuppies	25	4879	Aug 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	C2C-8/28 (Preview) Learning about trust: The author spoke of her difficulty trusting other people, and expected rejection when she asked someone to sponsor her. But she was accepted by the sponsor, guided through the steps, and over time received so many positive responses. The author remarks that she was willing...	Lyne	3	831	Aug 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Need for clarity (Preview) Hi all need for ESH. I am trying to have clarity in my thinking. My response to my AH has changed. I went away last week end when I came back I noticed I have very little patience for his nonsense. Thursday evening he left and didn't return with my car till Saturday morning. Constantly says he loves me and he...	Flyfree	3	703	Aug 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Angry and Despondent (Preview) I am so upset. Got up this morning, did my prayers and quiet time. The thoughts roaming through my head negative. I was suppose to do something with my sister and what does she do, what she always does, think about herself. She sends me a random text and then when I text back she doesn't reply. I have a...	Thunder	7	999	Aug 28, 2017 by Sweetiemom
	Children in house--need suggestions when there is excessive drinking. (Preview) Hello and thank you all for being so welcoming. Looking for suggestions here. So my husband is not a typical alcoholic--but definite problem with alcohol (drinks 3-5 beens in a sitting, drinks at least 5-6 days a week, is loud, obnoxious, can be insensitive with what he says, slurs words at times....	Dancer66	3	523	Aug 28, 2017 by Bo
	Howdy all (checking in) (Preview) Have not been here for a while, but just wanted to say hi. This whole year's major AA/alanon work was all about working on anger and developing more patience to not snap qhen I feel slighted or condescended to. I didn't know those were defects that were so bad until it started biting me in the ass. Other...	pinkchip	15	1232	Aug 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/27/17 (Preview) Since today's share was posted later than desired, I decided to post for tomorrow early!!! Perhaps they can balance out in some way! Tomorrow's reading talks about what was expected at a member's first meeting vs. what was delivered. The writer shares disappointment that the Twelve Steps were pr...	Iamhere	4	945	Aug 27, 2017 by Iamhere
	Any suggestions for anxiety? (Preview) Hi, I am reading my One Day at a Time book, my Courage to Change Book but feeling that old familiar feeling of anxiety. I feel it so often when my AH is about to come home or when I am about to walk in the door. It can be months of sobriety and that ugly feeling of what will I find when I walk in the door has left hi...	wifeofalcoholic	11	2562	Aug 27, 2017 by pinkchip
	When it rains...Just venting (Preview) Good morning everyone, it's 10am and I'm still in bed. I work a late shift but usually would be up by now. Today however the anxiety and maybe depression have had their way. The last time I checked in my MI son had just come home and the A was having a good tantrum. My own drama is that I'm supposed to be having...	Paloma Negra	10	2315	Aug 27, 2017 by milkwood
	Just need to say this (Preview) Yesterday I learnt that my husband relapsed and that this happened a year ago. Not my problem, just sad. With this awareness comes awareness of a lot of lies and those do hurt, although not as much as they used to. I've been away studying for ten months with occasional visits home. Now after my course ha...	milkwood	11	1200	Aug 27, 2017 by milkwood
	Banging my head on a brick wall (Preview) Hi everyone- just need to vent a little. My AH & I are in marriage counseling. He's desperately unhappy and depressed (surprise!) and I truly want to be support and loving. But-I'm starting to wonder if I'm stuck on step one and thinking I can do something to fix him. Like maybe he'll wake up &...	BethBethBeth	14	2813	Aug 27, 2017 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/26/17 (Preview) Better late than not at all !!! Today's reading is a great one - it's about denial. For many of us, when we find recovery, we are amazed how many signs were right in front of us, yet we acted as if there was not a problem. Some deny the alcoholic has a drinking issue, others are willing to blame the drinker f...	Iamhere	2	868	Aug 26, 2017 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.