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Basically fighting for the good life
(Preview)
Hey
It's been a couple of days since I've been here. I don't know why but, For the past couple of days I've been really depressed and just have no feeling for my husband. He has been clean for about five days or something and in general he thinks our relationship should be all better now.&n...
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browneyes
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2
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1073
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discouraged
(Preview)
I am the wife of an A. He has stopped drinking and was going to AA and counseling. Then he stopped making the meetings and now he has stopped counseling. The counselor (according to husband) said he didn't need to come any more. My trouble is that his solution is to not get together with our friends anymor...
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gamayrouge
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5
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1178
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THE BIG BOOK
(Preview)
My ex-A said that all my answers lie within the Big Book. I told him it is a different programme. I have read the Big Book several times, do I have to study it ? It really relates to AA's , i know we have the ism's but we are not alcoholics, i sort of felt that our programme was a bit like a reverse of...
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melanieL
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7
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2697
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Ready to Scream!!!!!!!!! HELP
(Preview)
Mod. July 25
Hello All,
I am having such a hard time keeping my mouth shut this week, I like Debilyn's idea of ducktape but notre would hold.
My husband has been on a major bender this week as he may lose his job, house, car, etc. He comes home everynight loaded, falling all over the pla...
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kathy570
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5
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1089
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What do you think?
(Preview)
My A finally called at 2pm Saturday afternoon. He started with "I was wrong and I know you do not accept my apology because it is connected to alcohol and drugs, but I am sorry." I listened but didn't say anything, I thought as he talked that a year ago I would either be screaming or crying, bu...
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marmare
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6
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1189
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Back to Square One
(Preview)
Last night was complete disaster.....there for a moment was a glimmer of hope, my A now says that the counseling comment was a lie. He won't go and wants a divorce. He refuses to open "pandoras" box. I must have cried for 2 hours. I am so hurt. He said awful awful things t...
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marmare
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2
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1076
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UNDERSTANDING this Disease-sites
(Preview)
check out these websties Merry Go Round Denial www.bendfeldt.org/alcholism.htm note spelling. For the progression of the disease of alcoholism do a search at www.altavista.com and type in: Jellinek Chart. Lots of re...
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wallsal55
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1
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787
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update on duct tape night.....
(Preview)
LOL you guys were so wonderful with your comments!!! I learned from you and I did
not feel so alone. Also learned I am not the only one who gets that drive to go look
at him.
Well I got there in the am one or so. At first neither of us said a word. He said i cut him out of
my life. I told him he chose that.
...
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debilyn
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4
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1125
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Detaching/Detachment
(Preview)
Practicing detachment for three or four weeks helped me at least grasp the concept of detaching. It is helpful to learn about it at Alanon meetings and pick up the pamplet on detachment there, as well as the newcomer packet. For further supplemental reading: ...
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wallsal55
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1
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864
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Just asking for prayers
(Preview)
Ive chatted with many of you over the past month or so. Thank you for offering this forum and chat to vent feelings and fears and yes joy when it comes.
My request today and i will hope if i may would be to request prayers for my friend Lori. Lori is a wondeful person she a joy to be with. Even the hard times...
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bob_ia
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5
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1051
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hello
(Preview)
Just thought i wold say hi new to this part of the web site been on the chat I am feeling really depressed tonight and just need to vent. Chat room is full so any way. No I do not know why i am depressed just am Bi- Polar I belive is hitting me hard just not doing well with it . Al...
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Kolar123
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5
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1005
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Repeating, repeating, repeating, repeating
(Preview)
How do you deal with having to repeat everything to your A about 10 times?? It just drives me nuts sometimes. I used to just get furious about it and finally say I'm not going to repeat myself anymore but that doesn't do any good. While he's drunk he will ask me the same question over an...
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Siverhusk
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6
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1317
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new & confused (sorry, long)
(Preview)
I just learned last Friday, a day before my 57th birthday, that my 21 year old daughter was an alcoholic and a self-medicating drug user. At first, I thought "well, this'll be the crummiest birthday I ever had in my life." But now I realize my daughter gave me the greatest gift I ever could have -- she came...
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socaltom
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5
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1444
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Joke for the Day
(Preview)
If you live in town or are in town, do not leave your cars unlocked or your windows down! When you come back, there will be zuccinni on your seat! 
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wallsal55
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0
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726
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The end is closer
(Preview)
Happy Monday everyone...it was a heck of a weekend around here.
Fri, I had worked from 7:30 am, and got home at 10 pm, after my A had ended his workday at 1:30 pm and played 18 holes of golf.
Sat, I was on my way to help him at work, and said I needed to stop for two errands. He said to skip one errand ti...
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Belongtome
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5
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1183
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keeping the focus on me
(Preview)
 I have been in al-anon for a while now. Still trying to work the fourth step. My spouse is the adult child of an alcoholic. His drug of choice is pot. Most of the time I can use the program to deal with the highs and lows that come with our relationship. I am finding it almost imposs...
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judy
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5
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1136
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Pass the duct tape please!!!
(Preview)
Someone tape me to my chair!!!! I am doing my best to talk myself out of going
to see the A. I have not seen him for many weeks. I don't even know what makes me
want to see him.
Well yes I do. I am so lonely for him. It is so hard to love someone since you were
' a kid, and share life with him all your life, t...
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debilyn
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9
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1214
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wife of an alcoholic
(Preview)
this is my first time to be envolved with a chat family group. i need as much help as possible.
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diane
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3
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1624
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??? - AA related material
(Preview)
Sun. July 24
I am a recovering A with a very active A hubby. In reading my own AA material, I find tons of readings that would give comfort to Al Anon members. ( My opinion- They help me understand my A better & give me comfort & hope)
Am I allowed to post AA readings on this board???
You...
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kathy570
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3
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1068
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End of my rope
(Preview)
I'v closed my door to this (A) person and this (A) still returns with a vengence,
Can anyone help me with how to calm the inner self?? I let all that is stressing me in Gods hands and I don't let this stuff get to me.But when I sleep at nite it hits me it wakes me I dream of the stress going on. I mu...
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WStar
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5
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1160
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understanding the monster
(Preview)
Well I don't mean the person i mean the disease. I am new to this whole thing of not being alone and talking about my feelings. Not very good yet. I don't understand how someone get so low that they need help and still don't see it. My mom got so bad and lived in such awful conditions and y...
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laura
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4
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1135
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Money, money
(Preview)
A friend at the bank says money is a subject that can really separate a couple, and maybe she's right.
My A worked 1 day at his paying job last week, and 2 for our business. He also hired somebody to work 2 days for us (money is soooo tight right now). On Thurs he said he didn't feel like workin...
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Belongtome
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7
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1244
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Recommended books to read
(Preview)
Hi, I'm pretty new here (2nd post) and I'm wondering what books you guys recommended for me to read? I'm new to this al-anon stuff and I'm looking for the best way to deal with my A, how to cope, how to get rid of my anger, detachment, etc... I saw a couple listed on the front page,...
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Siverhusk
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10
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6571
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The lawyer
(Preview)
I saw the lawyer today that my sister who just graduated law school recommended.
I spent about 15 minutes with him @$425 an hour and then he turned me over to an associate @$325 an hour.
I am filing for divorce under mental cruelty with a subcomponent of habitul drunkeness.
The lawyer...
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megan
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17
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947
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opinions please
(Preview)
I am writing a letter to my wife telling her that we need better communication. How we need to tell each other what we are feeling, what each of our wants and or needs are. I am telling her how I feel and the fact that I don't know what to talk to her about any more, or that I am not sure about what we...
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Cam
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6
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1003
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Long Day
(Preview)
I started last Monday or Tuesday with the thought "Let Go and Let God"...this has been hard for me to trust God completely. My A goes out every Friday with the guys. His best friend's dad is very very sick and had to have surgery to remove blood clots from his legs, they said because th...
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marmare
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3
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955
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I couldn't believe it
(Preview)
Hello Hope you're all well
Just amazing that my husband asked me if he "could get a little" before he left for a road trip. i told him a couple of days ago that yes, I was the one that called the Parole Officer on him because I was liable for any damage he caused since we were married and I did...
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browneyes
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7
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923
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26 Beautiful One-liners
(Preview)
1. Give God what's right -- not what's left.
2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.
3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be th...
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Peggy7
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3
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1389
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HP and inner child?
(Preview)
Hi all! Well, I first heard of the concept of an inner child in me in a therapy session in Germany. The German therapist told me I was to imagine the adult in me and converse with my inner child. I even had to use diff. chairs and change places according to role. I found this very f...
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toto12
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5
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1094
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back from holidays
(Preview)
Well I am back and wanted to report that our trip was very serene!!! Just what I needed!!!
I felt more than wonderful and refreshed when I got back but that sure didn't last long!!!!
Right now I think that I am worse off now than when I left. No meetings for 2 weeks and there is one tonight that I could go t...
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jj
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2
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1027
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My heart is breaking :( :(
(Preview)
MY daughter called me after 2pm drunk :( She didn't know what she was saying,,,out of her mind as usual wanting someone's number she has no business calling :( I called the number back where she called from. Just got an answering voice,,,,some stupid dude guys voice I don't know. Not her b...
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cdb
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21
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1399
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tough decision
(Preview)
Hello all. I am new to this board but not new to the Program. I have been in Alanon for about 8 yrs now and what a lifesaver!
I met my husband at an Alanon/AA banquet in 1998. He was a few yrs sober and was very active in AA. Talk about a wonderful beginning! I had originally joined Alanon due to my ex who was...
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sg
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7
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2416
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Sad-- Need Resources/Support
(Preview)
I have never been to a meeting before-- although a family member has been trying to get me to go for several years (as most of my family are A's) and knows it would help me to better understand everyone... including my spouse, who I believe is also an A. I did read some other posts and I can really relate.
...
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Apple Pie
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8
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1222
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update on clouds Grammy
(Preview)
Hey all ((((((((((((((((((roomies))))))))))))))))))))))) thank you all for your prayers and such kind words I love you all so much My gram looked really bas Tues night, but wens night seemed much better, maybe the meds are woeking for her, I quest. if it is possible that she had another stroke, mayb...
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cloud
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7
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926
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"Serenity in Yosemite" Conference - time to sign up!!!!!
(Preview)
Hi all, early this week the flyers went out to those that put their names on the list for info on the Yosemite CA conference. I have one here and thought I'd post what the flyer says for those that didn't get there name on the list. People come from all over the states to go to this conference so...
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mastiff
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4
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11606
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QUESTION - SHOULD I APOLOGISE
(Preview)
I have been really working myself up lately. Trying to cope with things on my own without resorting to have to ask for help from my ex. Things have been getting on top of me. Will be unemployed at the end of this month, my Dad has to go for a byopsy next week as the hospital have found a lum...
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melanieL
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3
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1158
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A Lovely Message for You
(Preview)
A lovely Message for you!
This is one of the nicest mails I have seen:
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.
My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and...
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kerry5
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4
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1062
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Prayers worked again! ty ty ty
(Preview)
Hello friends,
Dad is doing well according to doctor. :) Guess he did have a touch of pneumonia too,,,whew! But all sounded well today in his lungs and the antibiotic did work for him. Now to get me feeling better. If I was needed to help them out I don't know if I could have anyway since I am still p...
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cdb
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5
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1048
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Is that Eastern time?
(Preview)
I am on the West Coast, so I need to know if the times you posted are Eastern or not....Thanks for the info.
Hugs Mary
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marmare
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1
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735
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Online Meetings
(Preview)
Is the time posted for online meetings for Alanon EST?
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marmare
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2
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1134
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friday am meeting
(Preview)
well, i was going to post saying i'm not going to be here, but now, i will be so nevermind heehee, i just dont know how to take something off the board once i put it on.... anybody know how?
love ya, trina
-- Edited by mastiff at 17:52, 2005-07-21 -- Edited by mastiff at 17:55, 2005-07-21
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mastiff
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0
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727
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New Poster
(Preview)
Hello everyone-
I am a new poster, but long time reader.
I am struggling to cope as my A works through the program. He is now 5 months sober. I left him a year ago, with an infant on my hip, and moved in with my parents. I could not take his drug and alcohol abuse any longer, and needed to get our daughter aw...
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Maggie
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4
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1110
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HOW SICK I'VE BECOME
(Preview)
I REALISED TODAY HOW SICK I AM. I LOGGED ONTO MY EX-A'S EMAILS TO SEE IF HE HAD EMAILS FROM ANY WOMEN. AM SO ASHAMED. FEEL DISGUSTED IN MYSELF. I AM THE MOST HONEST PERSON I KNOW AND YET I HAVE SUNK THAT LOW. I JUST CANT BELIEVE I DID THAT. THATS HOW UTTERLY OBSESSED I AM.&nb...
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melanieL
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12
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1237
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Quick Questions
(Preview)
I find that my A is always involved in everyone else's drama.....except of course his own. Does anyone else have this situation. Okay, here it is, I thought he was on a new job site because he started leaving earlier in the morning and I knew about a month ago that a new site would be happenin...
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marmare
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3
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769
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Disappointed and frustrated
(Preview)
hey guys
the other night I could tell my husband wanted to be intimate and I have told him repeatedly that I will not when he is using but he tried anyway. I think he uses sex as an escape as well as the drugs. Anyway instead of just saying no I started a fight with him, telling him I was going to...
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browneyes
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6
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1040
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prayers for my grandmother
(Preview)
Posting to ask you all to say a prayer for my grandmother her name is Ruth and she turmed 89 on JUne 20th She had a ubstucted bowel back in March of 98 which caused her to have a stroke and almost death they did an operation and took 80 % of her sm. intestine. I got a call today at work from my daughter Kels...
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cloud
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8
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982
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Wednesday
(Preview)
Yesterday morning I really made the commitment to "Let Go and Let God" my day was so very relaxing. I know that I can no longer do it all myself, it's nice to know my HP will help in more ways than even I realize.
Hugs Mary
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marmare
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1
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763
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Good news
(Preview)
I finally talked with an attorney today and I don't have to work about losing the house if I leave. SO MANY HAVE TOLD ME I WOULD. THIS IS a no fault state. Sorry, I'm in a hurry here! My car broke down on the way there. I left early to find the place so I had time to get my son's car and still be on time. I thought for...
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whitie
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3
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850
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Is this too bad?
(Preview)
I feel really mean right now. I was looking out the window in the door and saw my husband (he has not admitted that he is an A) fall. Yes, he had been drinking. He has a partially paralyzed leg that at times just collapses on him. I had told him on a previous day that I...
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nmartin
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4
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956
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When your A Stops loving you......
(Preview)
I have been with this man for 3 years. Three months ago I broke off the relationship because I was tried of being yelled at and neglected. I love this man very much, but he told his family he loves me as a person, but he is not in love with me. I know he is going through a hard time. His divorce 3 years ago, his chi...
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heartless39470
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5
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1175
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New Relationship Question (long - sorry!)
(Preview)
Hi there - I'm brand new here, and hope I'm in the right place! I have a question about a good friend.
A little background; I'm a 43yo woman, he's a 46yo man with whom I work, pretty closely I should add. I'd been attracted to him, and got up the guts to invite him for a drink one night.&...
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ajt62
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8
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890
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I am Too Nice
(Preview)
I am too nice to people so they try an take advantage of me. Like for instance I am sitting eating my lunch and this guy who works with me ask me to borrow my car. I was shocked that he would even ask me I don't know him that well. So he talked me into driving him to pick some one else lunch. I went and the lunch wasn...
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nycbt
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6
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935
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So very tired
(Preview)
I just got off the phone with my A. Now he has resorted to being cold and distant. We had a discussion about being honest, last week. Saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Both of us, not just him. Ya know I work hard at my recovery but he always seems to draw me in to...
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marmare
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4
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1013
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Campout
(Preview)
Here are some pics from the MIP alanon campout.
What a fantastic life experience!
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megan
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9
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1836
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feeling pretty bad today
(Preview)
I'm having a bit of a tough time today. I really made my peace with getting a divorce and was doing fine. Hubby was partying his ass off in sunny California and I was doing my thing here on the east coast. After 2 weeks of non stop partying he wanted to come home---cried and begged, need...
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mom to 2
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13
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1021
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New Member - How to cope...
(Preview)
Hi this is my first time posting. I've been with my husband for almost 11 years now, married just over 4 and he is an alcoholic. He is finally realizing that he needs help, he was taken to the hospital last Wednesday because of his drinking and we (his parents and I) were trying to get him into...
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Siverhusk
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7
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912
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The Difference
(Preview)
The Difference
I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day; I had so much to accomplish, that I didn't have time to pray.
Problems just tumbled about me, And heavier came each task. "Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered, He answered," You didn't ask".
I wanted to see joy and beauty, but...
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John
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2
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940
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MY MIP PAGE ISN"T WORKING
(Preview)
((((((((((((((((((((((((roomies))))))))))))))))))))))
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cloud
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0
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818
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GG
(Preview)
geez I sent ya a post yesterday and even read it on the board, now
it is gone?????
well dang, poop, well anyway I love you girl. You are doing just fine.
debilyn
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debilyn
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1
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830
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Response to another post and just wanted to share with everyone.
(Preview)
I know unbearable pain, as I've lived it for so many years, first in an abusive childhood that covered all realms of abuse, emotion, psychological and sexual, into my adult life choosing relationships that are unhealthy, some that were not alcoholics, but rather codependent, controlling, posses...
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sanddie
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4
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759
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