The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I find that my A is always involved in everyone else's drama.....except of course his own. Does anyone else have this situation. Okay, here it is, I thought he was on a new job site because he started leaving earlier in the morning and I knew about a month ago that a new site would be happening soon. He's been coming home earlier, so I just figured this is one of his, "I'm not telling you anything about my day" moods. I let it go.
I called home from work and talked to the kids, they asked where my A was. I said "I don't know." Called my A, he said that he went to his friend's dad's house to have him help write a letter to the court about his speeding ticket. His friend's dad is very very ill, had ruptured all sorts of stuff a year ago, of course from what? His drinking!!!! In fact my A was there when they had to take him to the hospital, helped clean up all the blood...horrible experience. So this guy is sick again. He is going into this whole drama and I am just saying okay, I have to go back to work, and then he just flies off about me accusing him of doing something he's not supposed to.
Any similar situations will just reassure me I am not crazy!!!!!
Same old thing. They get involved with others so they don't have to think about their own stuff.
I saw my A make all kinds of excuses, he did not want to go to rehab until he was finished with a job, or when his van was fixed, or when a friend came out of rehab, blah blah blah
Same as i was always an afterthought. He did not want to think about me and my needs, he would have to do something. He knew he would have to look at himself if he had to hel p me. Everyone elses problems, or everyone else period was not affected by his using.
In fact his family almost wanted him to use. They knew they could control him if he did.
Being with me or our son, he felt guilty all the time, had to put on his fake him. The real him is not a very nice person. So of course he would rather be with his low life family and friend.
I might need the AC put in the window, but boy he would sure run over and do his moms.
ehhhhh makes me want to barf.
So anyway sorry I went on. But it is not you at all, you know that.
I totally agree my ex would do anything for anybody else but nothing for his family and still does now even though he's sober. Everybody and anything else comes first. Any friends needed any DIY done he was first to volunteer , whereas our house was falling down round our ears. I didnt even have any carpet, my daughter actually broke four toes falling down the stairs because a nail in the floorboards had caught onto her sock and made her fall and another time she broke her leg falling on broken paving he had pulled up attempting to repath the front of the house and then getting bored and leaving it for two years, and still he didnt fix it. I think its totally normal unfortunately. Sort out other peoples problems , makes them feel big and important and means they dont have to look at their own.
Yep, same old same old A smoke and mirrors. "See what a good person I am, if I were truely an A I wouldn't care about other people so...." The whole thing is none of your business, thank goodness.
