Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

UncleLou · UncleLou

Had an interesting session with my therapist last night, the guy my ex and I stopped going to a year ago. Talking to him about what happened between my wife and I these past couple of years, something became clear to me. We were talking about what I was or wasn’t doing to meet my wife’s expe...

Powerless · Powerless

My mother-in-law put things into perspective for me. I interviewed at Wal-mart yesterday and was not crazy about the idea of a job there because it was a pay cut of almost $4.00 per hour. I guess I somehow felt it was beneath what I was capable of. I was trying to hold off for one of the m...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

September 27 Right Back Up "There is something in our self-destructive personalities that cries for failure." Basic Text, p.77 ######ROSIE…I am sharing on this NA share because no matter what the group??? It is still 12 steps and still recovery….. "Poor me;...

chrissy · chrissy

our two cars are in my name and i want to get his out of my name and to get the plates and turn them in. otherwise tickets and trouble will come to me and i cant afford any more problems in my life right now. my family said report the car stolen but i dont want him to get any trouble. he has enough pro...

sandie123 · sandie123

I am doing a lot better these days. Working on doing things for me (and my kids) not my A. I have started going to 2 f2f meetings a week ....not sure if i will be able to keep this up since i need someone to watch our foster child when I'm away! I'm going to kep trying though! I have set a few boundries and am stick...

gardengal · gardengal

I can easily itemize my loved ones limitations. Hours pass while I list the ways in which "he" could stand to change. But not one thing has ever improved as a result of this mental criticism, All it does is keep my mind on someone other than me. Instead of admitting my powerlessness over another person...

UncleLou · UncleLou

This was my ex's weekend with the kids. (We are both in the same house in seperate bedrooms until it sells) Friday evening, while she's still not home from work, my 14 yr old son has 2 friends over, one from the neighborhood, another driven over by his parents. I leave them at 7:00 to go to an AA meeting. My e...

Diva · Diva

Believe it or not, I have never known another alcoholic besides my husband, so have chosen you to hopefully answer a couple of questions. I read your post below about the alcoholic hating himself, being insecure and afraid, and I suppose I believe all of that is true. At the same time, my glorious A seem...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I'm sorry for being such a wet blanket this weekend. I now understand what's going on and there is nothin I can do about it. It's called complex grief. The losses have come so fast and there has been so much additional crap that I haven't had the time to grieve em. Th...

Kim · Kim

Hi everyone. Well, my birthday is today. And the whole weekend a bust. An argument with my friends (one of whom is my best friend) erupted (it is a long story) however, it was my standing up for myself and not accepting unaccpetable behavior that started it however, in the end I also got v...

debilyn · debilyn

HI Ya'll, I have not done a yak in a long time. Been so into reading everyones shares. What a strong, neat group of people!! Life sorta settled for a bit. Have been seeing Social Security fall into place and to begin my benefits. I was told by them that my long term would not be offset, that I would c...

Powerless · Powerless

It is so odd that I feel more productive now that I am not working than when I was. I have been able to really get the house clean and keep it that way, cook wonderful meals, go to the library, run errands, apply for food stamps, recertify for medicaid for the children and...

chrissy · chrissy

i am so dumb i cant believe he is doing drugs this guy called my husbands cell phone. i was playing dective and it was his drug dealer he said he just sold my husband 30dollar weed bag. i didnt even know he was doing drugs too. he said him & this other guy hooked up he said my husband...

mom to 2 · mom to 2

For those that have followed my story here's an update. As most of you know my husband has been seeking sobriety for 6 months. He has mostly failed and has been on very long binges, no work and been pretty unavailable to myself, his family and his small children. He is sober 18 days now....

sandie123 · sandie123

I'm looking for Frank33 from the chat room. I talked to him a week ago and really would like to get in touch with him. If anyone sees him please ask him to read this post and send me a message where I can get in touch with him. Or just reply to this and I will send him my message. Thanks. Sandie123

sg · sg

I have been having such a hard time lately keeping my mind on "one day at a time" worrying about what will I do IF I make the choice to leave the home for awhile. Of course, a gazillion scenarios come creeping into my head and w/three kids and a houseful of animals, I, at times, felt stuck...like I was powerl...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Hi, Haven't been on Board for a while. Reached a crossroad in recovery where my "inner voice" was screaming at me and so was my soon to be "50" year old bod in November. Took time off from the boards, then skipped my 2 alanon meetings last week. Was able to h...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I have been doing so much thinking here lately. I have been brutaly honest with myself, and it does hurt. I have been on this rollercoaster for so many years. Life has gotten relatively peaceful here lately. My husband is at his parents house, and unless I become willing to accept his d...

UncleLou · UncleLou

This morning my ex was looking at my son's wrist which was swollen from a dirt bike accident yesterday. I heard them discussing going to the doctor and asked if I could do anything. My ex got real angry with me and said in front of my son, "I don't want anything from you, I don't want you involved, stay out of...

napnyc · napnyc

THE LOIS WILSON STORY - WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH Choices Recovery Bookstore will be holding a book signing and Author discussion on: MONDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2005 at 7:00pm 404 East 87th Street (St. Joseph's Church) between 1st Ave & York Ave, New York City THE FIRST BIOGRAPHY OF THE GR...

Ratchie · Ratchie

Hi all. I'm writing my 1st post. Have been to a few internet meetings, which are very helpful. I would just ask for your prayers and support in my situation. I see myself in so many of you. My A of 17 years is packing as I type. We have finally decided to separate aft...

chrissy · chrissy

i cant believe he took out more money and left the bank with $32.00 i am so messed up right now. sometimes i feel like this is hell you know i just cant take it how am i going to survive

chrissy · chrissy

i want to hurt him he never came home.

i feel numb i only slept a few hours i am so wiped and my daughter has a game at 12. im so hungry my stomache is rumbling thats what woke me up. all i ate yesterday was frosted flakes in the morning. yeah happy 3yr anniversary we were suppo...

Tammy · Tammy

Today is day 7 of living without my husband, my a. As many of you know I left my husband last Saturday. I just felt that God wanted me out of the way so that he could get to him. I kept making excuses, pleading and begging for him to quit drinking. It was making me miserabl...

Jersey · Jersey

Hi all! I just read the following in an Alanon phamplet, I thought maybe someone else could benefit from sharing in the reminder. I think it speaks to AA and Alanons a like. *Accept the fact that there is a problem with alcohol, and that you can learn to deal with it. *Recogniz...

Powerless · Powerless

Many of us feel that our addicts/alcoholics have it so easy. They have no responsibility, or at least don't take any,and they ae out partying or drinking all of the time. Are they really having fun? They have lucid moments and self doubt and self-loath...

gardengal · gardengal

Few of us intentionally refused to see the reality of our lives or the circumstances in which we find ourselves. But the the truth is that most of us have indeed done so. In Alanon , we eventually come to see the many ways we had unknowlingly blocked out whole segments of our past and present. W e recognize...

Audrey · Audrey

Thanks to everyone who responded to my post last night. It really felt good to know there are people out there everyday who have gone through what I am going through! Well, another night alone.....While in the shower today (about 11:30 a.m.) I heard "I'll be back in a little bit". How co...

chrissy · chrissy

thank you for all your kind advice & prayers. i am so pissed i could scream.he came home late i made dinner for nobody i guess beacause nobody ate. once again i trusted him good old trustable jerk that i am. he was so sick last night and i was happy .he wasnt feeling good i mean praying to the&nb...

Jersey · Jersey

Thank you all for responding to my post. It means so much to be able to have that support! There is so much that I don't know. The best thing I could have done is find this site. He's in bed because he stayed out with his friends all night. I'm at the computer bawling. There is something so WRONG about this p...

sg · sg

An excerpt from the chapter on "What Manner of Communications are These?...this really struck me. (p.17) You know that no improvement can be accomplished unless we're consistent. If we haven't the courage to speak up whe the drinker is in a sober phase, he'll just go on believing that t...

hadit · hadit

This is the first time I have posted here. I found this site a while ago and have read many posts but never had the courage to post one of my own. I have been living with an active and partially functional alcoholic up until almost a month ago when we split. My feelings have gone from loneliness to total melt...

Powerless · Powerless

I read your response to my post and it meant very much to me. At first, I was disappointed that that you agreed with me about being crazy and out of control. Then I realized you were agreeing with me because it was true and what I needed to hear. What meant the most to me was the fact that you had r...

Audrey · Audrey

Wow! Tonight is the first time I've started looking for support from people who can understand what I am going through! I began to read a few posts, and couldn't believe how some of the stories sounded so much like mine. I am remarried (2nd marriage) for almost 4 years now. I've got thr...

dogscribe · dogscribe

Hi all I haven’t posted on here much. Just a little background: My A is my boyfriend. He lives with me, I own the house. He is verbally abusive when he’s drunk. And it seems that he is drunk a lot lately. He’s had various surgeries in the past year or so –...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

THIS IS OFF OVEREATERS anonymous, its still 12 steps, and it is great!!!! Character Defects Beginning the OA program, we are inclined to feel that our problems and difficulties are largely due to circumstances and other people. The enemy seems to be outside. The more we work the Steps, the mor...

kitty · kitty

I was holding out, faithfully but why waste any of my precious energy. I've had a fever for a month, my immunities are shot. It is so obvious our A is 'out' again. He says he goes to meetings. He walks around here angry all the time & he can't look at us in the eye... &nb...

serenity · serenity

Hi... this is my first post here, but have attended several online meetings. Thought some of you might be able to give insight or direction... My dilemma is this... My A has been sober for 8 months, goes to AA meetings, meets with a therapist, as do I. We've been married for 6 yrs, and its been rough. I...

swolves · swolves

At 2:30 Sunday the phones and cable tv came back on....thankyou HP..my kids were about to drive me over the edge....lol. There was no damage to to my house and a quick rake of the yard was all that I needed to do. Power outages are spotty in the city with heavily wooded neighbor hoods catchin...

Powerless · Powerless

I must have posted "Are they really having fun "out there" before I was fully awake. I really was not asking a question. I was trying to get others to see that the addicts and alcoholics are NOT having fun. I apologize if my post was not clear.

sandy · sandy

Hi, This is the first time posting for me, I don't even know if I'm doing it right. I'll go ahead with my story anyway and hope I can get some suggestions from other members. My daughter started drinking a year or so ago she is now a fully addicted to vodka. I didn't know there was a problem but it s...

Powerless · Powerless

I am going so far backwards that I truly do not recognize the person I have become. I have stolen from my job and was fired this week. My son's therapist said that although he is mentally ill, he is much worse due to my decision making. I am estranged from my entire family at this point. ...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Peace with the Past Even God cannot change the past. --Agathon Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy - energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi family, I hope you're not sick of these simple thoughts. But I find they have really helped me over the years. So here's another one for all of you. "Adversity often activates a Strength we did not know we had!" We are all so much stronger than we know. Sometimes it takes a kick in th...

sg · sg

I just wanted to share something that my sponsor did for me.... At christmas we always exchange gifts. Last christmas she blew me out of the water w/her gift. I got an italian charm bracelet w/the word COURAGE written on it. She told me that for the 9 yrs that she has sponsored me and knowin...

Diva · Diva

I spent a good part of the evening speaking pn the phone with my younger son in Seattle who is celebrating a birthday tomorrow. Upon ending the conversation I came into the den where my A was asleep in his easy chair. I tried to wake him. Not easy to do. When I finally did, he staggered off to bed. I could see i...

sg · sg

My meeting this morning is on the topic of "Living in the Present" and last night I was reading/journaling and this page came up: (Hope For Today, p.317) Serenity? What's that? For years I was like a weather van that spun around according to the air currents that other people generat...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I hate to ask for further financial assistance...I'm in real need of a $66 transit pass and $55 for storage, both due before Oct. 1. Any help will be appreciated more than you know!!!! The big news is that my mother's alcoholism has finally come out...so I may have both parents dead fr...

sandy · sandy

Hi, I just want to thank all of you who responded. They actually made me cry but I needed that too. I just want to find a way to help her, she's my baby, she's 30 years old and so much to look forward to. I don't understand, I did everything I could the reason I stayed with her was to be the...

lonestar · lonestar

My therapist told me last night in an individual session that if I were more "whole" as a person (not co-dependent, had worked through my family of origin issues etc..) that my wife might not have gotten drunk last Saturday night and we might not have had the two day, very ugly, marital spat that we did. ...

UncleLou · UncleLou

Looks like my house is sold. Accepted an offer today after 6 months on the market and numerous price reductions. I have really mixed feelings about it, I designed and built it 3 years ago thinking I would live here forever. We make plans, God laughs! Need to look at it strictly as a business deal now, ma...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

It's Saturday morning and swolves' Mom just called me to let us know she and the kids are fine. No phone, but, ok. !! Thank you HP!! josey

cytagirl · cytagirl

Hello Again , Thanks to everyone who replied to my first post , your help and advice was greatly appreciated , especially Tom . I'm off to my first meet on Monday in Limassol ... a 30 minute drive away but the way i'm feeling i'd drive for 3 hours to hear someone tell me i'm not on my own and can recover from all...

Jersey · Jersey

I'm feeling so stupid right now. My A told me two weeks ago he wanted to get sober. He didn't drink all week. Then I went away last weekend to a Women's Spirituality Retreat for women in sobriety, I trusted him (I had to). When I got home I told him how proud I was of him, ect. Then tonight he as...

sandie123 · sandie123

I had a semi discussion a week ago with my A about the fact that we (me and his kids) were very concerned about him. I told him that we would like to help him when he is ready… however we all know we cannot help him until he is ready. I mentioned that I would be doing a few things differently…. No more waking hi...

Powerless · Powerless

I have been doing a lot of thinking this week. A couple of weeks ago, things were so hard financially and I had exhausted all resources of family and friends. There simply wasn't anyone else I could turn to. I worked in a position of management with developmentally delayed adults....

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, My dad may get out of the hospital tomorrow if his blood thinning level is adequate :) Mom and I are much more relaxed now too. He is not suppose to drive for awhile so I will probably stay here another week. I did talk to my daughter 2 nights ago and she opened up to me about alot of her feelin...

kiki · kiki

Hi Everyone I havn´t posted for a long time but i thought it would be good to post something good. My recovering A has been clean now for 1 year, not one drop of alcohol has passed his lips. I am so proud of him and of myself for getting through this last year. It hasn´t been easy, living with him whilst...

Lani · Lani

Seek the inner cause of problems "When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?" -- Robert Half What holds you back from being and doing more? In your journal, list what you believe is holding you back. Have you blamed people or factors outside of yourself? It's important to unders...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello All, Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false? 1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. 3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Looking back on early recovery (Preview) Had an interesting session with my therapist last night, the guy my ex and I stopped going to a year ago. Talking to him about what happened between my wife and I these past couple of years, something became clear to me. We were talking about what I was or wasn’t doing to meet my wife’s expe...	UncleLou	7	660	Sep 27, 2005 by Karilynn
	M-I-L put things into perspective (Preview) My mother-in-law put things into perspective for me. I interviewed at Wal-mart yesterday and was not crazy about the idea of a job there because it was a pay cut of almost $4.00 per hour. I guess I somehow felt it was beneath what I was capable of. I was trying to hold off for one of the m...	Powerless	2	498	Sep 27, 2005 by Jill
	"right back up" or trying to (Preview) September 27 Right Back Up "There is something in our self-destructive personalities that cries for failure." Basic Text, p.77 ######ROSIE…I am sharing on this NA share because no matter what the group??? It is still 12 steps and still recovery….. "Poor me;...	rosie light shines	0	436	Sep 27, 2005 by rosie light shines
	how can i get his car out of my name (Preview) our two cars are in my name and i want to get his out of my name and to get the plates and turn them in. otherwise tickets and trouble will come to me and i cant afford any more problems in my life right now. my family said report the car stolen but i dont want him to get any trouble. he has enough pro...	chrissy	6	545	Sep 27, 2005 by Kim
	Sponsor Advice Needed! (Preview) I am doing a lot better these days. Working on doing things for me (and my kids) not my A. I have started going to 2 f2f meetings a week ....not sure if i will be able to keep this up since i need someone to watch our foster child when I'm away! I'm going to kep trying though! I have set a few boundries and am stick...	sandie123	2	517	Sep 27, 2005 by Flora123
	Can it be so simple,,,to,,,,"Let it begin with me?: (Preview) I can easily itemize my loved ones limitations. Hours pass while I list the ways in which "he" could stand to change. But not one thing has ever improved as a result of this mental criticism, All it does is keep my mind on someone other than me. Instead of admitting my powerlessness over another person...	gardengal	4	1001	Sep 27, 2005 by marmare
	My ex's inappropriate behavior part II (Preview) This was my ex's weekend with the kids. (We are both in the same house in seperate bedrooms until it sells) Friday evening, while she's still not home from work, my 14 yr old son has 2 friends over, one from the neighborhood, another driven over by his parents. I leave them at 7:00 to go to an AA meeting. My e...	UncleLou	8	700	Sep 27, 2005 by Sallen
	Uncle Lou (Preview) Believe it or not, I have never known another alcoholic besides my husband, so have chosen you to hopefully answer a couple of questions. I read your post below about the alcoholic hating himself, being insecure and afraid, and I suppose I believe all of that is true. At the same time, my glorious A seem...	Diva	14	621	Sep 27, 2005 by Jeannie
	haxigonian XXIX (Preview) [[ room ]] I'm sorry for being such a wet blanket this weekend. I now understand what's going on and there is nothin I can do about it. It's called complex grief. The losses have come so fast and there has been so much additional crap that I haven't had the time to grieve em. Th...	haximon	3	542	Sep 27, 2005 by shimo
	hello again (Preview) Hi everyone. Well, my birthday is today. And the whole weekend a bust. An argument with my friends (one of whom is my best friend) erupted (it is a long story) however, it was my standing up for myself and not accepting unaccpetable behavior that started it however, in the end I also got v...	Kim	4	468	Sep 26, 2005 by debilyn
	sharing my path and miracles (Preview) HI Ya'll, I have not done a yak in a long time. Been so into reading everyones shares. What a strong, neat group of people!! Life sorta settled for a bit. Have been seeing Social Security fall into place and to begin my benefits. I was told by them that my long term would not be offset, that I would c...	debilyn	4	634	Sep 26, 2005 by debilyn
	It is so odd... (Preview) It is so odd that I feel more productive now that I am not working than when I was. I have been able to really get the house clean and keep it that way, cook wonderful meals, go to the library, run errands, apply for food stamps, recertify for medicaid for the children and...	Powerless	2	445	Sep 26, 2005 by Jeannie
	now i found out he is doing drugs too (Preview) i am so dumb i cant believe he is doing drugs this guy called my husbands cell phone. i was playing dective and it was his drug dealer he said he just sold my husband 30dollar weed bag. i didnt even know he was doing drugs too. he said him & this other guy hooked up he said my husband...	chrissy	10	626	Sep 26, 2005 by chrissy
	update (Preview) For those that have followed my story here's an update. As most of you know my husband has been seeking sobriety for 6 months. He has mostly failed and has been on very long binges, no work and been pretty unavailable to myself, his family and his small children. He is sober 18 days now....	mom to 2	11	557	Sep 26, 2005 by mom to 2
	looking for Frank33 from chat room (Preview) I'm looking for Frank33 from the chat room. I talked to him a week ago and really would like to get in touch with him. If anyone sees him please ask him to read this post and send me a message where I can get in touch with him. Or just reply to this and I will send him my message. Thanks. Sandie123	sandie123	0	408	Sep 26, 2005 by sandie123
	Footwork (Preview) I have been having such a hard time lately keeping my mind on "one day at a time" worrying about what will I do IF I make the choice to leave the home for awhile. Of course, a gazillion scenarios come creeping into my head and w/three kids and a houseful of animals, I, at times, felt stuck...like I was powerl...	sg	2	454	Sep 26, 2005 by Kim
	Just drop'n in...Stressing Dr. checkups!, Necessary Time Outs! (Preview) Hi, Haven't been on Board for a while. Reached a crossroad in recovery where my "inner voice" was screaming at me and so was my soon to be "50" year old bod in November. Took time off from the boards, then skipped my 2 alanon meetings last week. Was able to h...	wallsal55	1	516	Sep 26, 2005 by whitie
	resentment (Preview) Hi everyone, I have been doing so much thinking here lately. I have been brutaly honest with myself, and it does hurt. I have been on this rollercoaster for so many years. Life has gotten relatively peaceful here lately. My husband is at his parents house, and unless I become willing to accept his d...	Jeannie	3	455	Sep 26, 2005 by sandie123
	Should be an interesting session tonight (Preview) This morning my ex was looking at my son's wrist which was swollen from a dirt bike accident yesterday. I heard them discussing going to the doctor and asked if I could do anything. My ex got real angry with me and said in front of my son, "I don't want anything from you, I don't want you involved, stay out of...	UncleLou	1	599	Sep 26, 2005 by Karilynn
	FIRST LOIS WILSON BIOGRAPHY (Preview) THE LOIS WILSON STORY - WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH Choices Recovery Bookstore will be holding a book signing and Author discussion on: MONDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2005 at 7:00pm 404 East 87th Street (St. Joseph's Church) between 1st Ave & York Ave, New York City THE FIRST BIOGRAPHY OF THE GR...	napnyc	0	482	Sep 26, 2005 by napnyc
	New to All This, But Yet Feel At Home! (Preview) Hi all. I'm writing my 1st post. Have been to a few internet meetings, which are very helpful. I would just ask for your prayers and support in my situation. I see myself in so many of you. My A of 17 years is packing as I type. We have finally decided to separate aft...	Ratchie	6	511	Sep 26, 2005 by marmare
	well he cleaned the bank out since it was closed & he took the card we now have $32.00 (Preview) i cant believe he took out more money and left the bank with $32.00 i am so messed up right now. sometimes i feel like this is hell you know i just cant take it how am i going to survive	chrissy	9	762	Sep 26, 2005 by marmare
	its now 7:56 am and he did it again he never came home (Preview) i want to hurt him he never came home. i feel numb i only slept a few hours i am so wiped and my daughter has a game at 12. im so hungry my stomache is rumbling thats what woke me up. all i ate yesterday was frosted flakes in the morning. yeah happy 3yr anniversary we were suppo...	chrissy	13	626	Sep 26, 2005 by marmare
	Day 7 of living without my A (Preview) Today is day 7 of living without my husband, my a. As many of you know I left my husband last Saturday. I just felt that God wanted me out of the way so that he could get to him. I kept making excuses, pleading and begging for him to quit drinking. It was making me miserabl...	Tammy	9	571	Sep 26, 2005 by marmare
	Daily Reminder (Preview) Hi all! I just read the following in an Alanon phamplet, I thought maybe someone else could benefit from sharing in the reminder. I think it speaks to AA and Alanons a like. Accept the fact that there is a problem with alcohol, and that you can learn to deal with it. Recogniz...	Jersey	2	544	Sep 26, 2005 by serenity
	Are they really having fun "out there" (Preview) Many of us feel that our addicts/alcoholics have it so easy. They have no responsibility, or at least don't take any,and they ae out partying or drinking all of the time. Are they really having fun? They have lucid moments and self doubt and self-loath...	Powerless	7	895	Sep 26, 2005 by marmare
	strugging with reality (Preview) Few of us intentionally refused to see the reality of our lives or the circumstances in which we find ourselves. But the the truth is that most of us have indeed done so. In Alanon , we eventually come to see the many ways we had unknowlingly blocked out whole segments of our past and present. W e recognize...	gardengal	3	549	Sep 26, 2005 by marmare
	Another Night Alone (Preview) Thanks to everyone who responded to my post last night. It really felt good to know there are people out there everyday who have gone through what I am going through! Well, another night alone.....While in the shower today (about 11:30 a.m.) I heard "I'll be back in a little bit". How co...	Audrey	8	623	Sep 26, 2005 by marmare
	he came home he said oh i only had 5 beers & 1 shot (Preview) thank you for all your kind advice & prayers. i am so pissed i could scream.he came home late i made dinner for nobody i guess beacause nobody ate. once again i trusted him good old trustable jerk that i am. he was so sick last night and i was happy .he wasnt feeling good i mean praying to the&nb...	chrissy	9	875	Sep 26, 2005 by marmare
	RE: never ends (Preview) Thank you all for responding to my post. It means so much to be able to have that support! There is so much that I don't know. The best thing I could have done is find this site. He's in bed because he stayed out with his friends all night. I'm at the computer bawling. There is something so WRONG about this p...	Jersey	6	819	Sep 26, 2005 by dogscribe
	The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage (Preview) An excerpt from the chapter on "What Manner of Communications are These?...this really struck me. (p.17) You know that no improvement can be accomplished unless we're consistent. If we haven't the courage to speak up whe the drinker is in a sober phase, he'll just go on believing that t...	sg	5	1164	Sep 26, 2005 by dogscribe
	First Post..I'm sorry it's long (Preview) This is the first time I have posted here. I found this site a while ago and have read many posts but never had the courage to post one of my own. I have been living with an active and partially functional alcoholic up until almost a month ago when we split. My feelings have gone from loneliness to total melt...	hadit	5	542	Sep 26, 2005 by dogscribe
	roygbiv (Preview) I read your response to my post and it meant very much to me. At first, I was disappointed that that you agreed with me about being crazy and out of control. Then I realized you were agreeing with me because it was true and what I needed to hear. What meant the most to me was the fact that you had r...	Powerless	5	451	Sep 26, 2005 by dogscribe
	First Timer Who Is Feeling Alone (Preview) Wow! Tonight is the first time I've started looking for support from people who can understand what I am going through! I began to read a few posts, and couldn't believe how some of the stories sounded so much like mine. I am remarried (2nd marriage) for almost 4 years now. I've got thr...	Audrey	7	695	Sep 26, 2005 by dogscribe
	Feeling trapped and angry - sorry very long (Preview) Hi all I haven’t posted on here much. Just a little background: My A is my boyfriend. He lives with me, I own the house. He is verbally abusive when he’s drunk. And it seems that he is drunk a lot lately. He’s had various surgeries in the past year or so –...	dogscribe	12	666	Sep 26, 2005 by dogscribe
	taking responsibility now (Preview) THIS IS OFF OVEREATERS anonymous, its still 12 steps, and it is great!!!! Character Defects Beginning the OA program, we are inclined to feel that our problems and difficulties are largely due to circumstances and other people. The enemy seems to be outside. The more we work the Steps, the mor...	rosie light shines	0	394	Sep 26, 2005 by rosie light shines
	lame lies, TY God (Preview) I was holding out, faithfully but why waste any of my precious energy. I've had a fever for a month, my immunities are shot. It is so obvious our A is 'out' again. He says he goes to meetings. He walks around here angry all the time & he can't look at us in the eye... &nb...	kitty	4	549	Sep 26, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Help Please...My dilemma (Preview) Hi... this is my first post here, but have attended several online meetings. Thought some of you might be able to give insight or direction... My dilemma is this... My A has been sober for 8 months, goes to AA meetings, meets with a therapist, as do I. We've been married for 6 yrs, and its been rough. I...	serenity	3	593	Sep 26, 2005 by Powerless
	thankyou all (Preview) At 2:30 Sunday the phones and cable tv came back on....thankyou HP..my kids were about to drive me over the edge....lol. There was no damage to to my house and a quick rake of the yard was all that I needed to do. Power outages are spotty in the city with heavily wooded neighbor hoods catchin...	swolves	1	476	Sep 25, 2005 by DanaAngel
	I wasn't asking a question (Preview) I must have posted "Are they really having fun "out there" before I was fully awake. I really was not asking a question. I was trying to get others to see that the addicts and alcoholics are NOT having fun. I apologize if my post was not clear.	Powerless	1	539	Sep 25, 2005 by Karilynn
	What else can I do about my daughter? (Preview) Hi, This is the first time posting for me, I don't even know if I'm doing it right. I'll go ahead with my story anyway and hope I can get some suggestions from other members. My daughter started drinking a year or so ago she is now a fully addicted to vodka. I didn't know there was a problem but it s...	sandy	5	718	Sep 25, 2005 by kismetstrand
	I am going so far backwards (Preview) I am going so far backwards that I truly do not recognize the person I have become. I have stolen from my job and was fired this week. My son's therapist said that although he is mentally ill, he is much worse due to my decision making. I am estranged from my entire family at this point. ...	Powerless	6	542	Sep 25, 2005 by Karilynn
	making peace with the past (Preview) You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Peace with the Past Even God cannot change the past. --Agathon Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy - energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow...	rosie light shines	1	676	Sep 25, 2005 by Karilynn
	Yet another simple thought (Preview) Hi family, I hope you're not sick of these simple thoughts. But I find they have really helped me over the years. So here's another one for all of you. "Adversity often activates a Strength we did not know we had!" We are all so much stronger than we know. Sometimes it takes a kick in th...	Karilynn	1	444	Sep 25, 2005 by sg
	A gift from my sponsor (Preview) I just wanted to share something that my sponsor did for me.... At christmas we always exchange gifts. Last christmas she blew me out of the water w/her gift. I got an italian charm bracelet w/the word COURAGE written on it. She told me that for the 9 yrs that she has sponsored me and knowin...	sg	3	504	Sep 25, 2005 by Karilynn
	I think he is drinking again. (Preview) I spent a good part of the evening speaking pn the phone with my younger son in Seattle who is celebrating a birthday tomorrow. Upon ending the conversation I came into the den where my A was asleep in his easy chair. I tried to wake him. Not easy to do. When I finally did, he staggered off to bed. I could see i...	Diva	12	783	Sep 25, 2005 by ctymom
	Living in the Present (Preview) My meeting this morning is on the topic of "Living in the Present" and last night I was reading/journaling and this page came up: (Hope For Today, p.317) Serenity? What's that? For years I was like a weather van that spun around according to the air currents that other people generat...	sg	2	854	Sep 25, 2005 by sg
	haxigonian XXVIII (Preview) [[ room ]] *I hate to ask for further financial assistance...I'm in real need of a $66 transit pass and $55 for storage, both due before Oct. 1. Any help will be appreciated more than you know!!!!* *The big news is that my mother's alcoholism has finally come out...so I may have both parents dead fr...*	haximon	2	623	Sep 25, 2005 by debilyn
	Thank you all but!!! (Preview) Hi, I just want to thank all of you who responded. They actually made me cry but I needed that too. I just want to find a way to help her, she's my baby, she's 30 years old and so much to look forward to. I don't understand, I did everything I could the reason I stayed with her was to be the...	sandy	1	546	Sep 24, 2005 by Powerless
	New guy again - my therapist... (Preview) My therapist told me last night in an individual session that if I were more "whole" as a person (not co-dependent, had worked through my family of origin issues etc..) that my wife might not have gotten drunk last Saturday night and we might not have had the two day, very ugly, marital spat that we did. ...	lonestar	6	627	Sep 24, 2005 by tiredtonite
	It gets more and more bazaar (Preview) Looks like my house is sold. Accepted an offer today after 6 months on the market and numerous price reductions. I have really mixed feelings about it, I designed and built it 3 years ago thinking I would live here forever. We make plans, God laughs! Need to look at it strictly as a business deal now, ma...	UncleLou	14	706	Sep 24, 2005 by UncleLou
	swolves is ok (Preview) It's Saturday morning and swolves' Mom just called me to let us know she and the kids are fine. No phone, but, ok. !! Thank you HP!! josey	jrtjosey	5	538	Sep 24, 2005 by Christy
	Eyes Wide Open ! (Preview) Hello Again , Thanks to everyone who replied to my first post , your help and advice was greatly appreciated , especially Tom . I'm off to my first meet on Monday in Limassol ... a 30 minute drive away but the way i'm feeling i'd drive for 3 hours to hear someone tell me i'm not on my own and can recover from all...	cytagirl	4	503	Sep 24, 2005 by canadianguy
	never ends (Preview) I'm feeling so stupid right now. My A told me two weeks ago he wanted to get sober. He didn't drink all week. Then I went away last weekend to a Women's Spirituality Retreat for women in sobriety, I trusted him (I had to). When I got home I told him how proud I was of him, ect. Then tonight he as...	Jersey	6	521	Sep 24, 2005 by canadianguy
	Boundaries & Detachment (Preview) I had a semi discussion a week ago with my A about the fact that we (me and his kids) were very concerned about him. I told him that we would like to help him when he is ready… however we all know we cannot help him until he is ready. I mentioned that I would be doing a few things differently…. No more waking hi...	sandie123	4	635	Sep 24, 2005 by canadianguy
	My actions are worse than the addict's (Preview) I have been doing a lot of thinking this week. A couple of weeks ago, things were so hard financially and I had exhausted all resources of family and friends. There simply wasn't anyone else I could turn to. I worked in a position of management with developmentally delayed adults....	Powerless	5	497	Sep 24, 2005 by Tammy
	Update on Me :) (Preview) Hello friends, My dad may get out of the hospital tomorrow if his blood thinning level is adequate :) Mom and I are much more relaxed now too. He is not suppose to drive for awhile so I will probably stay here another week. I did talk to my daughter 2 nights ago and she opened up to me about alot of her feelin...	cdb	6	568	Sep 24, 2005 by hvnly1
	Recovery (Preview) Hi Everyone I havn´t posted for a long time but i thought it would be good to post something good. My recovering A has been clean now for 1 year, not one drop of alcohol has passed his lips. I am so proud of him and of myself for getting through this last year. It hasn´t been easy, living with him whilst...	kiki	2	457	Sep 24, 2005 by Karilynn
	"INNER CAUSE OF PROBLEMS" QUOTES (Preview) Seek the inner cause of problems "When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?" -- Robert Half What holds you back from being and doing more? In your journal, list what you believe is holding you back. Have you blamed people or factors outside of yourself? It's important to unders...	Lani	1	836	Sep 23, 2005 by bubbles1990
	True or False! ----(It is really there this time) (Preview) Hello All, Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false? 1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. 3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth...	Dolphin123	3	666	Sep 23, 2005 by kerry5
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