Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So much has gotten me upset lately & I held some of it in an exploded! I am working my program to climb out of it. I don't need to lose it like I never walked into the doors of alanon. I don't remember the last time I got this upset so I think that might be a good thing! Bless you all for putting up w my ranting...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Uh-oh. I can access this site with my phone. I could become addicted to miracles in progress. Little play on words. I suppose there are worse things to be addicted to.

Lyne · Lyne

Mistakes and shame: The reading talks about the fact that we all make mistakes, and we can learn from those we've made. We can make amends, and change our behavior and attitudes. The writer further says that the biggest obstacle about learning this process is shame. Shame prevents us from knowin...

aabbcc1 · aabbcc1

I'm 24 years old and I would love for someone who has left a rough relationship with an alcoholic to private message me. I feel absolutely lost and I really need to talk to someone. Please

Katy F · Katy F

Does Al-Anon take a stance on co-sponsorship? I have 20 years in program and do not feel I need guidance to do step work. I do need a trusted friend to share my recovery and process some step 10 work from time to time. I would like someone to share experiences with step 11 and 12.

lilkbbk · lilkbbk

I have been going through this in my head for months now and finally did it last night...I told my husband that he was going to have to move out if the drinking did not stop. I have never actually said those words before and it was the hardest thing I have had to do. The only problem is that he told me I am being a...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Yesterday morning, right after I read the reading from ODAAT, I reached into my god-box and pulled out the word Gratitude. I remember reading somewhere, in one of the fellowships I am in, that gratitude is not about having everything I want, but wanting everything I have. Coincidentally, my wife and...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi there, I am grateful to say that after how ever many months of feeling like whenever I shared I was updating on the next installment in some kind of protracted soap opera, I don't have much to update practically speaking. I am still living with my mother. It has all kinds of unique challenges. I miss...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Hi. How are ya? I stopped by the conference on the way to work this morning. There were several meetings going on at once. I chose one on Alanon slogans. It was pretty good. I didn't share. I chose to Listen, but one that kept coming up was How Important Is It. I like that one. Be interested to hear any though...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about our slogan Let It Begin With Me. The writer interprets it as the message of al-anon we may carry to others in need, and that if asked we might share our experience in the program but that does not include an expectation of a response or how it may be received...

lookingup · lookingup

Today's reading suggests that we focus our attention on looking inward to search out the negative defects that exist and harm our decision making process. It points out that a 4th Step inventory need not be painful but a brief look within to see why we do what we do and say what we say. It is important t...

Finding grace · Finding grace

Hi everyone, so happy to have found this board, Hopefully the 3rd time will be the charm with trying to post my introduction! So here is my story, as brief as possible. My husband and I married young, basically right out of high-school, (hindsight, not a great idea) shortly after my husband started dri...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I fooled myself. Celebrated my 39th year in recovery and got my chip (XXXIX) and must have unconsciously celebrated the false assumption that It was done now...gone away...never to be seen or heard of....LOL .NOT!! I got fooled after taking an inventory of what it was like then and doing the rela...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Today was tax day. Appointment was made a year ago b/c they get so booked. At first I tried to do things through my STBXRAH's sister, as I was not strong enough to constantly talk with him about what was needed for this appointment. Then last week he called and said that he needed to start to manage things o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok, I don't have an easy relationship with my mother. She just had her very best friend like her person pass suddenly and I know this is devastating. UGH .. I don't want to think about it this was a woman who knew my mother since the 70's. It was highly unexpected. I am beside myself though in terms of I h...

kath · kath

Today I am going to rest without the guilt. There is so much work to be done around my home. I always beat myself up because I think I am a lousy housekeeper. I have told myself many times that I should be doing more. I compare myself to this imaginary supermom that can do all things. I am replacing that with a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about care-taking and enabling. The writer suggests that even as a child, she had grown-up responsibilities. This taught her to give to others first and to dive into any crisis without any thoughts of self. In recovery, she learned that this was a form of self-destructiven...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Prayer is asking for rain. Faith is bringing an umbrella!

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Hi, friends. Busy busy, but I thought I'd pop by and say hello. You know, I pulled a word out of my god box just the other day. Insanity. You know how that one goes. We define insanity as continuing to do the same thing, expecting different results. Last month I got a call from that transition house I used to...

Dynamite · Dynamite

Hello everyone I had not heard anything about Alanon until today. You see my husband of 20 years is an alcoholic and has been since before we were married. He was not as bad (well really not bad at all) with his drinking as it is now. The incidents that occured from him last night validated my fears about t...

Lil99 · Lil99

Help! My functiong alcoholic partner has been on one today and I'm left feeling hurt and confused. My partner phoned me in work today. To cut a long story short, he got in a huff about something I said over th3 phone that I thought was perfectly reasonable. He hung up the phone on me. Later on when I got h...

fishinmama · fishinmama

I have been thinking about letting go and letting god. I have been thinking about this and it sounds simple. I am struggling with it. Could it mean that faced with sharp and painful disillusionment, I must surrender my grasp on my possession, desires and everything else I have known. maybe letting...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP! Today's reading is about decision-making. I really like the quote: "When I used to make specific requests (of God), I was so busy waiting for them to be granted that I didn't realize the answers were staring me in the face." The reminder is: With the help of a Higher Power, decision...

hicktownmom · hicktownmom

I am new to Al-Anon and have been reading One Day At A Time with Al-Anon. It talks a lot about focusing on me and the things that I can do to make myself healthy. But at what point does that include giving up on an AH? I hear people say that it is the disease that makes him so mean. He never hits, but his words...

WestMan · WestMan

2017 was a year of bad alcohol for my family and I. There were too many drunken tirades which finally culminated in a near tragic incident that forced my ExAW out of the home and into rehab. I caught the brunt of the fallout and it left me reeling. I'm still dealing with it in some ways. One thing that's com...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about sponsorship and Tradition 10. Tradition Ten states that "The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy." The author shares that the spirit of tradition 10 allows A...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Yea, I do. I guess because it's all hyped to be all about love/commitment/etc. I have learned over the years to try and treat it like it's any other normal day... but it is hard when it is splattered as advertisement everywhere! In the past I have tried to do things for myself, and also to get my kid involve...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am really struggling today and I am learning which is all good however WOW WOW WOW .. this has been a week of lessons .. not all of which I have been thrilled with. My oldest in college is still struggling with some health issues that I am finding out are brought on by themselves not taking care of themselv...

MrsBear · MrsBear

When I met him I fell in love hard and fast. I am 7 years older than him and that scared me and still scares me. He's 25 and still a little immature and can be selfish. Very infrequently but it can happen. He's also a very high functioning alcoholic. His father was an alcoholic who passed away from liver canc...

hotrod · hotrod

he ODAT reading for February 20th speaks about the importance of the tool of" detachment". The reading suggests that whether we are living with someone who is still drinking or not, the situation calls for patience, acceptance and resolution. It suggests that we can acquire these qualities by det...

WestMan · WestMan

My AW and I are moving towards divorce. I believe it is the best thing I can do for myself now. Last week's incident ( some of you saw my other post) was an extreme display of the constant badness that runs in our relationship. My wife is truly a wonderful person but also disturbed in many ways. She also suff...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi Y'all... The feature recovery centre in my country has been closed down for over 20 years. 20 or thirty years ago many people from my town went through the centre. 12 or 15 of us. All were going to AA or Alanon when they went and most did well afterwards. My father's step-dad was a doctor and an alcoholi...

Lyne · Lyne

5th Step-The writer reflects upon writing her 4th Step, and reaching the 5th. She saw that many of her behaviors paralleled the alcoholic, except she did them sober: blaming others, took everything personally, insanity, and many responses were fear based. She didn't see change right away, but...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP - Happy Friday. Today's reminder -- The times I most want to hide out with my secrets are probably the times I most need to reach out and share them with others. When facing a difficult situation, let me remember that my Higher Power speaks through other people. I don't have to face it...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about how making an 8th are list, of people we have harmed, may include ourselves. I know over the course of time, when I became in a situation that was not healthy for me, or made a decision that was not good for me I did not see it as harming myself. After having b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Okay this post is a reaction to the previous post using the theme "There but for the grace of God". When and where I got into program I found myself attending meetings on the grounds of a religious sect and I balked because religion was one of the addictions in my life which tore up family relationships...

lookingup · lookingup

C2C reading for today talks about FAITH. It suggests that fears loom large and that Faith takes a great deal of practice. Faith becomes real when we are in a situation and can see no way out that is when we can stop and ask for guidance That is when I see that a miracle can happen and that unexpected help a...

Engaged2Drugs · Engaged2Drugs

My addicted fiance is working on his recovery. I have been going to AlAnon meetings for my own sanity. But I still feel like his mother when we are home. I make sure the bills get paid (with little or no contribution from him, building resentment), I clean the house daily, wash dishes, do laundry, and put...

CarlyH · CarlyH

I havent had any contact with them for 2 months. During that time theyâve not had a drink and now this week Iâve been drunk dialled. Telling me all about their problems and that they need me In their life they miss me. I said ring me sober and out the phone down. What do I make of this? Do you think their bein...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is a new day & I am over the valentines day sadness. I celebrated my dads birthday w joy & sadness. Tears & smiles. Even laughter! He was born on a saints day. Does that make him a saint?

MovieGal · MovieGal

Once again, I have blown up at an unsuspecting good person that just happened to be there when I got very irritable. I immediately regretted it and tried to apologize but I could tell she was very hurt. We are volunteers at a charitable agency and work side by side every Friday afternoon. It is not the f...

Laura2018 · Laura2018

I do not know why I stay. He is at AA meetings, I spend most evenings alone. I have a job, friends, church group, etc but the emptiness from being married to a man who is incapable of really ever loving me is beginning to take its toll. Why do I stay in this marriage? He can never meet my needs the way a normal he...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hi there all. I really just need to share my process around something. Background: my husband is in rehab and I am overseas (in my country of origin let's call it B- (( sorry for being so mysterious its just the two countries are kinda unusual and it would compromise my anonymity to share them I believe)...

Holly73 · Holly73

Happy Valentineâs Day! Today I am thankful for my three little loves and that the sun is shining and it is warmer today. But today I am also sad. I am sad that this disease has affected my life and my husbandâs life and our marriage. Iâm sad that I feel completely disconnected from my husband and that I feel...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading discusses practice in recovery and how that leads to a different outcome than before! The quote is from Aristotle, and speaks to me --- "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." In recovery, we talk about working the program - wh...

ieei · ieei

Pretty much everyone, everyone, I have ever been related with has been active addicts. Today I wake up and my thoughts are suddenly occupied by a former friendship - being drawn right back into the situation; quite a few steps back. Am I suddenly not an al-anon valid individual? Do you know what i...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for February 13 speaks to the fact that in Al-Anon we concentrate on looking at our own mistakes to see how we have contributed to the destruction in our lives . The reading suggests that we were not living in a vacuum with the alcoholic doing all the damage. We reacted in many ways and th...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Over the past year I have learned a lot about myself and I am grateful for the experiences I have had, .. they have given me a lot of time to reflect on a few things. I want to clarify .. my XAH is an ass .. that hasn't gone away .. LOL .. at some point with enough program I may be open to it .. at this time I pray for t...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

Hello all, I just wanted to quickly update on my situation. I am still here in my home country, living with my mother and my son, while my husband is in rehab in the country where we all lived until recently. I heard from the rehab today and they say that he is doing well. I am not really sure what that means i...

concernedbrother · concernedbrother

Hi all, My brother (in his 40's) recently talked to me about being an alcoholic, and how he's even been to an AA meeting a couple times. This was in the context of how terrible his life is right now. He's been drinking all his money, and his current workplace is having trouble staying in business, so h...

Rosepro · Rosepro

Brand new to this group and looking for advice. I am confident that I cannot get through this by myself but I donât know where to start. I have been online reading for hours and listened to a phone meeting this morning. Everyone was sharing about their own recovery I am completely overwhelmed. Is there a...

yolanda · yolanda

Hi all, I've been in the program for a little over a year, have 2 young kids, and am in the process of separating from my AH of 12 years. We have had zero physical or emotional intimacy for over a year, and I have a lot of pent up energy. Preparing for separation and divorce is liberating, and I thank the prog...

ieei · ieei

"that no bearer shall bear anothers burden" http://al-quran.info/#53:38 https://www.random.org/ Generate random number 1-114 and 1-number-of-verses-in-chapter I tweeted this, having found it through above method - although segments of holy books selected as the content pool, in Janua...

Skorpi · Skorpi

To those who celebrate the holiday, happy Valentine's Day! With today's reading in Courage to Change, the slogan "When in doubt, don't" came to mind. The author shares that, in those times when they felt the most need to find an immediate solution were also those times when they were not yet ready to...

hotrod · hotrod

Thiss topic was posted to the alanon Business board by Post InfoTOPIC: All new to me...CASphilbrook l new to me...Permalink Reply Quote More I'm new to this, new to alanon. I've read a lot of different posts and I feel like mine may seem minor to most others. I met my husband 11 years ago. He was...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I did a search here and read old posts about QTIP.Instead of bumping one of them up and digging up old "dirt" from years ago,I decided to start a new thread. Last night,someone blamed me for something that I didn't do,something that had absolutely nothing to do with me at all.Actually,it was such a pet...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

How do I know which slogans are considered approved by Al-Anon? I want to use the topic of Al-Anon slogans and how we apply them to our lives when I lead our meeting next week, but don't want to share slogans which aren't CAL approved. Your input would be greatly appreciated, as I don't want to ruffle any f...

Tude · Tude

Hi all, I'm rambling here. I've been dealing with some health issues in my broken thinking............I keep thinking they are just simply going to go away if I eat right and keep on putting one foot in front of the other. I guess that fits in with "denial" and fear. I looked at the calendar and it's been o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Which let's be clear I get into trouble every damn time .. ugh. I had a comedy of errors go on over this weekend. First was I had the nerve to go out with a girlfriend I hadn't seen in 6 months and my youngest had a dance. My poor boyfriend missed the whole parenting part of his kids because he played a very s...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi all, sorry for the long post. I'm really stewing over this one! I had a conversation with my AW last night at dinner that just isn't sitting well with me. I'm stewing over it, and I think I've put my finger on why it isn't feeling right, but I hope some of you can give me some ESH so I can think more clearly ab...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	been upset but climbing out! (Preview) So much has gotten me upset lately & I held some of it in an exploded! I am working my program to climb out of it. I don't need to lose it like I never walked into the doors of alanon. I don't remember the last time I got this upset so I think that might be a good thing! Bless you all for putting up w my ranting...	Hoot Nanny	5	923	Feb 27, 2018 by Aline
	Mobile Maniac (Preview) Uh-oh. I can access this site with my phone. I could become addicted to miracles in progress. Little play on words. I suppose there are worse things to be addicted to.	Wolfie55	4	659	Feb 26, 2018 by Hoot Nanny
	C2C, 2/26 (Preview) Mistakes and shame: The reading talks about the fact that we all make mistakes, and we can learn from those we've made. We can make amends, and change our behavior and attitudes. The writer further says that the biggest obstacle about learning this process is shame. Shame prevents us from knowin...	Lyne	8	991	Feb 26, 2018 by Lil99
	Trying to escape an alcohlic, I really need some help (Preview) I'm 24 years old and I would love for someone who has left a rough relationship with an alcoholic to private message me. I feel absolutely lost and I really need to talk to someone. Please	aabbcc1	4	901	Feb 26, 2018 by Iamhere
	Sponsorship (Preview) Does Al-Anon take a stance on co-sponsorship? I have 20 years in program and do not feel I need guidance to do step work. I do need a trusted friend to share my recovery and process some step 10 work from time to time. I would like someone to share experiences with step 11 and 12.	Katy F	8	663	Feb 25, 2018 by Jerry F
	I actually did it (Preview) I have been going through this in my head for months now and finally did it last night...I told my husband that he was going to have to move out if the drinking did not stop. I have never actually said those words before and it was the hardest thing I have had to do. The only problem is that he told me I am being a...	lilkbbk	13	856	Feb 25, 2018 by Wolfie55
	Gratitude (Preview) Yesterday morning, right after I read the reading from ODAAT, I reached into my god-box and pulled out the word Gratitude. I remember reading somewhere, in one of the fellowships I am in, that gratitude is not about having everything I want, but wanting everything I have. Coincidentally, my wife and...	Wolfie55	8	2589	Feb 25, 2018 by bud
	update - husband in rehab getting on with life (Preview) Hi there, I am grateful to say that after how ever many months of feeling like whenever I shared I was updating on the next installment in some kind of protracted soap opera, I don't have much to update practically speaking. I am still living with my mother. It has all kinds of unique challenges. I miss...	AnnieFenk321	3	612	Feb 25, 2018 by bud
	Slogans (Preview) Hi. How are ya? I stopped by the conference on the way to work this morning. There were several meetings going on at once. I chose one on Alanon slogans. It was pretty good. I didn't share. I chose to Listen, but one that kept coming up was How Important Is It. I like that one. Be interested to hear any though...	Wolfie55	9	810	Feb 25, 2018 by Wolfie55
	Hope for Today Feb 25 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about our slogan Let It Begin With Me. The writer interprets it as the message of al-anon we may carry to others in need, and that if asked we might share our experience in the program but that does not include an expectation of a response or how it may be received...	yanksfan51	3	572	Feb 25, 2018 by DavidG
	CTC 02/24/18 (Preview) Today's reading suggests that we focus our attention on looking inward to search out the negative defects that exist and harm our decision making process. It points out that a 4th Step inventory need not be painful but a brief look within to see why we do what we do and say what we say. It is important t...	lookingup	3	966	Feb 25, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hello...new here (Preview) Hi everyone, so happy to have found this board, Hopefully the 3rd time will be the charm with trying to post my introduction! So here is my story, as brief as possible. My husband and I married young, basically right out of high-school, (hindsight, not a great idea) shortly after my husband started dri...	Finding grace	12	696	Feb 25, 2018 by Finding grace
	Thoughts and Feelings relapse.... (Preview) I fooled myself. Celebrated my 39th year in recovery and got my chip (XXXIX) and must have unconsciously celebrated the false assumption that It was done now...gone away...never to be seen or heard of....LOL .NOT!! I got fooled after taking an inventory of what it was like then and doing the rela...	Jerry F	19	1293	Feb 24, 2018 by Aline
	First Meet Since Move-Out (Preview) Today was tax day. Appointment was made a year ago b/c they get so booked. At first I tried to do things through my STBXRAH's sister, as I was not strong enough to constantly talk with him about what was needed for this appointment. Then last week he called and said that he needed to start to manage things o...	PosiesandPuppies	7	1214	Feb 24, 2018 by Jen61
	OT - Response?? (Preview) Ok, I don't have an easy relationship with my mother. She just had her very best friend like her person pass suddenly and I know this is devastating. UGH .. I don't want to think about it this was a woman who knew my mother since the 70's. It was highly unexpected. I am beside myself though in terms of I h...	SerenityRUS	16	1334	Feb 23, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	dealing with shoulds (Preview) Today I am going to rest without the guilt. There is so much work to be done around my home. I always beat myself up because I think I am a lousy housekeeper. I have told myself many times that I should be doing more. I compare myself to this imaginary supermom that can do all things. I am replacing that with a...	kath	14	1213	Feb 23, 2018 by YARNCRAZY
	Courage to Change 2/23/18 (Preview) Today's reading talks about care-taking and enabling. The writer suggests that even as a child, she had grown-up responsibilities. This taught her to give to others first and to dive into any crisis without any thoughts of self. In recovery, she learned that this was a form of self-destructiven...	Iamhere	1	572	Feb 23, 2018 by hotrod
	prayer & faith (Preview) Prayer is asking for rain. Faith is bringing an umbrella!	Hoot Nanny	6	694	Feb 23, 2018 by Tude
	Call Me the Breeze (Preview) Hi, friends. Busy busy, but I thought I'd pop by and say hello. You know, I pulled a word out of my god box just the other day. Insanity. You know how that one goes. We define insanity as continuing to do the same thing, expecting different results. Last month I got a call from that transition house I used to...	Wolfie55	4	765	Feb 22, 2018 by Iamhere
	New To Al-anon (Preview) Hello everyone I had not heard anything about Alanon until today. You see my husband of 20 years is an alcoholic and has been since before we were married. He was not as bad (well really not bad at all) with his drinking as it is now. The incidents that occured from him last night validated my fears about t...	Dynamite	10	968	Feb 22, 2018 by Wolfie55
	Emotional abuse or alcoholic behavior? (Preview) Help! My functiong alcoholic partner has been on one today and I'm left feeling hurt and confused. My partner phoned me in work today. To cut a long story short, he got in a huff about something I said over th3 phone that I thought was perfectly reasonable. He hung up the phone on me. Later on when I got h...	Lil99	12	845	Feb 22, 2018 by Wolfie55
	Let go let god...What does this mean??? (Preview) I have been thinking about letting go and letting god. I have been thinking about this and it sounds simple. I am struggling with it. Could it mean that faced with sharp and painful disillusionment, I must surrender my grasp on my possession, desires and everything else I have known. maybe letting...	fishinmama	15	11498	Feb 22, 2018 by Aline
	Courage to Change 2/22/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP! Today's reading is about decision-making. I really like the quote: "When I used to make specific requests (of God), I was so busy waiting for them to be granted that I didn't realize the answers were staring me in the face." The reminder is: With the help of a Higher Power, decision...	Iamhere	2	484	Feb 22, 2018 by Lyne
	Verbal Abuse (Preview) I am new to Al-Anon and have been reading One Day At A Time with Al-Anon. It talks a lot about focusing on me and the things that I can do to make myself healthy. But at what point does that include giving up on an AH? I hear people say that it is the disease that makes him so mean. He never hits, but his words...	hicktownmom	6	625	Feb 22, 2018 by Bo
	Alcohol in Other Relationships (Preview) 2017 was a year of bad alcohol for my family and I. There were too many drunken tirades which finally culminated in a near tragic incident that forced my ExAW out of the home and into rehab. I caught the brunt of the fallout and it left me reeling. I'm still dealing with it in some ways. One thing that's com...	WestMan	8	829	Feb 21, 2018 by WestMan
	Courage to Change February 21 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about sponsorship and Tradition 10. Tradition Ten states that "The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy." The author shares that the spirit of tradition 10 allows A...	Skorpi	3	682	Feb 21, 2018 by Iamhere
	Actually hate this day (Preview) Yea, I do. I guess because it's all hyped to be all about love/commitment/etc. I have learned over the years to try and treat it like it's any other normal day... but it is hard when it is splattered as advertisement everywhere! In the past I have tried to do things for myself, and also to get my kid involve...	PosiesandPuppies	12	764	Feb 20, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	The things I can't control .. (Preview) I am really struggling today and I am learning which is all good however WOW WOW WOW .. this has been a week of lessons .. not all of which I have been thrilled with. My oldest in college is still struggling with some health issues that I am finding out are brought on by themselves not taking care of themselv...	SerenityRUS	9	816	Feb 20, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Alcoholic love of my life (Preview) When I met him I fell in love hard and fast. I am 7 years older than him and that scared me and still scares me. He's 25 and still a little immature and can be selfish. Very infrequently but it can happen. He's also a very high functioning alcoholic. His father was an alcoholic who passed away from liver canc...	MrsBear	11	760	Feb 20, 2018 by Bo
	ODAT Reading 2-20-2018 (Preview) he ODAT reading for February 20th speaks about the importance of the tool of" detachment". The reading suggests that whether we are living with someone who is still drinking or not, the situation calls for patience, acceptance and resolution. It suggests that we can acquire these qualities by det...	hotrod	3	574	Feb 20, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Flipped the Script ( 1 2 3 4 ) (Preview) My AW and I are moving towards divorce. I believe it is the best thing I can do for myself now. Last week's incident ( some of you saw my other post) was an extreme display of the constant badness that runs in our relationship. My wife is truly a wonderful person but also disturbed in many ways. She also suff...	WestMan	145	11733	Feb 19, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Reunion this weekend... (Preview) Hi Y'all... The feature recovery centre in my country has been closed down for over 20 years. 20 or thirty years ago many people from my town went through the centre. 12 or 15 of us. All were going to AA or Alanon when they went and most did well afterwards. My father's step-dad was a doctor and an alcoholi...	DavidG	10	885	Feb 19, 2018 by Tude
	C2C, 2/19 (Preview) 5th Step-The writer reflects upon writing her 4th Step, and reaching the 5th. She saw that many of her behaviors paralleled the alcoholic, except she did them sober: blaming others, took everything personally, insanity, and many responses were fear based. She didn't see change right away, but...	Lyne	6	625	Feb 19, 2018 by Skorpi
	Courage to Change 2/16/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP - Happy Friday. Today's reminder -- The times I most want to hide out with my secrets are probably the times I most need to reach out and share them with others. When facing a difficult situation, let me remember that my Higher Power speaks through other people. I don't have to face it...	Iamhere	5	645	Feb 18, 2018 by MeTwo2
	Hope for Today feb 18 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about how making an 8th are list, of people we have harmed, may include ourselves. I know over the course of time, when I became in a situation that was not healthy for me, or made a decision that was not good for me I did not see it as harming myself. After having b...	yanksfan51	3	635	Feb 18, 2018 by bud
	We are not a religion... (Preview) Okay this post is a reaction to the previous post using the theme "There but for the grace of God". When and where I got into program I found myself attending meetings on the grounds of a religious sect and I balked because religion was one of the addictions in my life which tore up family relationships...	Jerry F	14	794	Feb 18, 2018 by MeTwo2
	CTC 02/17/18 (Preview) C2C reading for today talks about FAITH. It suggests that fears loom large and that Faith takes a great deal of practice. Faith becomes real when we are in a situation and can see no way out that is when we can stop and ask for guidance That is when I see that a miracle can happen and that unexpected help a...	lookingup	3	607	Feb 18, 2018 by lookingup
	Enabling? (Preview) My addicted fiance is working on his recovery. I have been going to AlAnon meetings for my own sanity. But I still feel like his mother when we are home. I make sure the bills get paid (with little or no contribution from him, building resentment), I clean the house daily, wash dishes, do laundry, and put...	Engaged2Drugs	3	816	Feb 17, 2018 by Iamhere
	Why is my ex ringing me because theyâ€™ve relapsed (Preview) I havent had any contact with them for 2 months. During that time theyâve not had a drink and now this week Iâve been drunk dialled. Telling me all about their problems and that they need me In their life they miss me. I said ring me sober and out the phone down. What do I make of this? Do you think their bein...	CarlyH	5	695	Feb 17, 2018 by Iamhere
	over the valentines day slump... (Preview) Today is a new day & I am over the valentines day sadness. I celebrated my dads birthday w joy & sadness. Tears & smiles. Even laughter! He was born on a saints day. Does that make him a saint?	Hoot Nanny	2	608	Feb 17, 2018 by Tude
	A Character Defect (Preview) Once again, I have blown up at an unsuspecting good person that just happened to be there when I got very irritable. I immediately regretted it and tried to apologize but I could tell she was very hurt. We are volunteers at a charitable agency and work side by side every Friday afternoon. It is not the f...	MovieGal	6	956	Feb 16, 2018 by Jerry F
	The loneliness in a marriage with an A (Preview) I do not know why I stay. He is at AA meetings, I spend most evenings alone. I have a job, friends, church group, etc but the emptiness from being married to a man who is incapable of really ever loving me is beginning to take its toll. Why do I stay in this marriage? He can never meet my needs the way a normal he...	Laura2018	13	1104	Feb 16, 2018 by Maresie
	Another update - life on life's terms. (Preview) Hi there all. I really just need to share my process around something. Background: my husband is in rehab and I am overseas (in my country of origin let's call it B- (( sorry for being so mysterious its just the two countries are kinda unusual and it would compromise my anonymity to share them I believe)...	AnnieFenk321	5	777	Feb 16, 2018 by Freetime
	How to handle feelings of sadness (Preview) Happy Valentineâs Day! Today I am thankful for my three little loves and that the sun is shining and it is warmer today. But today I am also sad. I am sad that this disease has affected my life and my husbandâs life and our marriage. Iâm sad that I feel completely disconnected from my husband and that I feel...	Holly73	8	840	Feb 15, 2018 by Maresie
	Courage to Change 2/15/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading discusses practice in recovery and how that leads to a different outcome than before! The quote is from Aristotle, and speaks to me --- "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." In recovery, we talk about working the program - wh...	Iamhere	2	581	Feb 15, 2018 by Lyne
	Resentful - having to defend that I need a meeting (Preview) Pretty much everyone, everyone, I have ever been related with has been active addicts. Today I wake up and my thoughts are suddenly occupied by a former friendship - being drawn right back into the situation; quite a few steps back. Am I suddenly not an al-anon valid individual? Do you know what i...	ieei	5	637	Feb 15, 2018 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 2-13 (Preview) The ODAT reading for February 13 speaks to the fact that in Al-Anon we concentrate on looking at our own mistakes to see how we have contributed to the destruction in our lives . The reading suggests that we were not living in a vacuum with the alcoholic doing all the damage. We reacted in many ways and th...	hotrod	3	1154	Feb 14, 2018 by bud
	Not nice .. (Preview) Over the past year I have learned a lot about myself and I am grateful for the experiences I have had, .. they have given me a lot of time to reflect on a few things. I want to clarify .. my XAH is an ass .. that hasn't gone away .. LOL .. at some point with enough program I may be open to it .. at this time I pray for t...	SerenityRUS	5	732	Feb 14, 2018 by bud
	update - husband in rehab - decided to stay with my mum (Preview) Hello all, I just wanted to quickly update on my situation. I am still here in my home country, living with my mother and my son, while my husband is in rehab in the country where we all lived until recently. I heard from the rehab today and they say that he is doing well. I am not really sure what that means i...	AnnieFenk321	7	766	Feb 14, 2018 by Maresie
	How do I support my alcoholic brother? (Preview) Hi all, My brother (in his 40's) recently talked to me about being an alcoholic, and how he's even been to an AA meeting a couple times. This was in the context of how terrible his life is right now. He's been drinking all his money, and his current workplace is having trouble staying in business, so h...	concernedbrother	10	937	Feb 14, 2018 by Maresie
	Brand Spanking New (Preview) Brand new to this group and looking for advice. I am confident that I cannot get through this by myself but I donât know where to start. I have been online reading for hours and listened to a phone meeting this morning. Everyone was sharing about their own recovery I am completely overwhelmed. Is there a...	Rosepro	6	750	Feb 14, 2018 by Maresie
	managing desire (Preview) Hi all, I've been in the program for a little over a year, have 2 young kids, and am in the process of separating from my AH of 12 years. We have had zero physical or emotional intimacy for over a year, and I have a lot of pent up energy. Preparing for separation and divorce is liberating, and I thank the prog...	yolanda	11	971	Feb 14, 2018 by Maresie
	Inspired to seek out al anon (Preview) "that no bearer shall bear anothers burden" http://al-quran.info/#53:38 https://www.random.org/ Generate random number 1-114 and 1-number-of-verses-in-chapter I tweeted this, having found it through above method - although segments of holy books selected as the content pool, in Janua...	ieei	3	631	Feb 14, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change February 14 (Preview) To those who celebrate the holiday, happy Valentine's Day! With today's reading in Courage to Change, the slogan "When in doubt, don't" came to mind. The author shares that, in those times when they felt the most need to find an immediate solution were also those times when they were not yet ready to...	Skorpi	4	1174	Feb 14, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	all new to me (Preview) Thiss topic was posted to the alanon Business board by Post InfoTOPIC: All new to me...CASphilbrook l new to me...Permalink Reply Quote More I'm new to this, new to alanon. I've read a lot of different posts and I feel like mine may seem minor to most others. I met my husband 11 years ago. He was...	hotrod	5	769	Feb 14, 2018 by Tude
	QTIP (Preview) I did a search here and read old posts about QTIP.Instead of bumping one of them up and digging up old "dirt" from years ago,I decided to start a new thread. Last night,someone blamed me for something that I didn't do,something that had absolutely nothing to do with me at all.Actually,it was such a pet...	SoggySlippers	6	869	Feb 13, 2018 by Jerry F
	Slogans as Meeting Topic Slogans (Preview) How do I know which slogans are considered approved by Al-Anon? I want to use the topic of Al-Anon slogans and how we apply them to our lives when I lead our meeting next week, but don't want to share slogans which aren't CAL approved. Your input would be greatly appreciated, as I don't want to ruffle any f...	Green Eyes	11	6605	Feb 13, 2018 by Tude
	Fear, but took action (Preview) Hi all, I'm rambling here. I've been dealing with some health issues in my broken thinking............I keep thinking they are just simply going to go away if I eat right and keep on putting one foot in front of the other. I guess that fits in with "denial" and fear. I looked at the calendar and it's been o...	Tude	5	900	Feb 13, 2018 by Tude
	Me thinking .. (Preview) Which let's be clear I get into trouble every damn time .. ugh. I had a comedy of errors go on over this weekend. First was I had the nerve to go out with a girlfriend I hadn't seen in 6 months and my youngest had a dance. My poor boyfriend missed the whole parenting part of his kids because he played a very s...	SerenityRUS	2	672	Feb 12, 2018 by Tude
	Control Issues (Preview) Hi all, sorry for the long post. I'm really stewing over this one! I had a conversation with my AW last night at dinner that just isn't sitting well with me. I'm stewing over it, and I think I've put my finger on why it isn't feeling right, but I hope some of you can give me some ESH so I can think more clearly ab...	Skorpi	13	1455	Feb 12, 2018 by The1975jen
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.