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It's really been a week and I am ready for Friday!
I am finally getting some sleep I'm not sure if it's exhaustion or if I am finally able to sleep time will tell. I had to laugh because my oldest finally got everything dealt with at this point I'm waiting for the next fire because there will be another fire. This is no different than dealing with the XAH .. LOL .. it's just eyeball roll and wait. At least I don't feel as invested and that for me is a step in the right direction. I'm doing better about making my statements one time and moving forward .. can't let go yet of the school shooter statement .. I am working on that one. The one thing we have agreed on is that he's not up for discussion .. and if my kid brings him up he's getting what he asked for .. lol .. he already knows the first comment I will make and I will not deal with having it turned on me. He's learning at least not to do that. I am putting hard boundaries down on my time .. 9-1-1 to him is not always a 9-1-1 to me and there fore it will be to MY schedule. He is pushing for Sat at 9am and I'm like noooo .. LOL .. that's my day off and I want to sleep a little. I did agree to 10am and he's in meltdown mode over that and honestly not my issue there.
I had a big laugh though because as I get more involved in the LGBT community I am finding that I'm getting push back from him about his process. So that leaves me doing my own thing within the community which is outside of what he is doing. In fact I am talking to some other folks about doing a YouTube channel, we are working on it as a collaborative project .. we'll see how it works out. Obviously my side is the parental side of finding out and dealing with those emotions and the other side is how to support your kid. Kind of cool and I'm pretty jazzed about it. I really like the two young men I'm working with and they have amazing attitudes and are doing well. It makes me feel better to know there is good support for my kid available. Good role models as well.
The other thing is my boyfriend got a great job opportunity and took it. I'm really proud of him because he took the risk and it paid off. He's not a big risk taker and I swear it cracks me up because he's always saying what a positive person he is and it's like honey .. I totally love you however I am positive you are not a positive person. It's something he has to work at, and it's funny because I'm sure compared to what he was living with before he was the positive person in that case .. lol. I spent 10 min listening to him going on about everything that could or might go wrong at the new job .. lol. I know it's fear and I know it's fear of the unknown and that's ok. He did decide in the end the benefits outweighed the risks and it's totally a job he's qualified for and he will do an excellent job.
My youngest apparently has a hot date on Friday evening it's a school dance and I am anxious to see what will come of that .. LOL .. not that I'm pushing .. this is the 2nd girl he's actually like liked for a long time. I think he got kind of burnt the last go around and being new to school he's just kind of taking his time with girls and I'm totally glad. So he's decided he likes his school and he's glad he's there .. that only took 5 out of 9 months .. LOL. He's very involved with choir and enjoying himself a great deal. I have listened to him go on and on about how what's wrong with the school and had to just tell him I'm sorry you feel that way .. it might be energy better spent to focus on the positive of the situation instead of the negative.
Anyway, things are progressing the way they need to and I'm glad about that. I feel a whole lot better sleep totally helps and consistent sleep at that .. so that's a good thing. XAH is looking to needle me .. LOL .. and I'm just like whatever dude .. you do you .. I'm glad to be in this space without the need to try and figure out what's going on.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
((Serenity)) thanks for the positive update. i admire your ability to utilize your program and take care of yourself and your loved ones in such a creative loving, gentle manner Positive thoughts continue. Congrats to boyfriend
(((Serenity))) - your project sounds fun - glad to see that you are finding ways to learn and be of service!! I too send congrats. to your BF on his job. Super cool that your youngest has a dance in 2 days - I can still remember how big, new, exciting and frightening HS was and I went to a really, really small one. We had 600 total students - the HS my boys went to (the first) had almost 700 per grade so 2800 students. I had all the same feelings from my own magnified when I went to theirs the first time!
Your oldest sounds like he's finding his way. You sound like you're using your program/tools and that's all that matters. I so hear you on the sleep factor - I never realize it until I'm on the back side but great rest is better than almost anything else for me - really helps me with calm, patience, balance, etc. Kudos to you for working on getting that proper - I really think it matters.
Sorry it's not yet Friday - but it is 'hump day' - you're more than half way thru! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for the update! It is good to know and hear about all the positive ways you are dealing with your life/parenting right now. You are an awesome mom!! Go you!!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Congrats to your bf and his new job! That's wonderful news! Whenever I feel like pressing in, I remind myself of all our slogans in the program and even the Just for Today's that I have memorized. Those are the things that keep me grounded when my head starts to spin! Hugs to you! I hope you have a restful weekend!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
