Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

drucilla06 · drucilla06

(((((alanon family)))) I understand the meaning of these three words more right now than I ever have. I have said before on another post that thanks to Alanon I have recently realized that one of the reasons I have stayed in a bad marriage to my A is because I was afraid of the insanity of my family of o...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanon Friends, I am a mess today. I asked my sober AH to come for the weekend. He said he was golfing and couldn't make it. He said next weekend maybe. Then he told me how he was so busy this afternoon helping his neighbor prepare for a race tomorrow. I asked him last weekend too. He said he was too busy....

Maria123 · Maria123

You're my sunshine after the rain you're the cure against my fear and my pain 'cause im losing my mind when you're not around it's all . . . it's all because of you credit goes to 98 degrees God is the sunshine after my rain . . . This week's weather began with ominous clouds followed by three da...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Well today is 16 days of seperationn for my a hub. Today is also my 19th Wedding how crazy is that......Anyway, I am trying to remain strong, hub keeps calling, he's at his dad's house. He is recovering from surgery on his leg. This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my life. The proble...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

I am not stupid. I found my A last night after mulitple attempts to contact him on his cell phone. He was in the American Legion, thankfully I knew a lady going in and asked her if she could get me in too. (need a key card to enter) She gladly obliged. I walked in and there sat my A, he look stunned to say the le...

Tammy · Tammy

I have been here nearly a year posting on this board reading everyone's post and relating it to my crazy life. I realized today, i am further along on the path of recovery than i give myself credit. During the last year, i have left and returned twice, once being gone for over a mont...

Barbara · Barbara

Is it a nearby lake, rock chasm, back yard deck? Im thinking mine this year is going to be the nearby dam/beach. Its less than .5mile from our house. My backyard neighbors have some type of wood cutting business maybe? They really trashed the place so the backyard is out. I do enjoy our front yard as it l...

serendipity · serendipity

the rehab that my a is in called this afternoon. in part because they won't be keeping him very long and were wondering about a discharge plan. i actually was caught so off guard that i think all i said was that the kids will be happy to know he is ok and we love him and care. she was telling me he was there as if i...

tigerseye · tigerseye

Tonight, I went to my first Friday night meeting, and stayed afterward to chat (which is fairly unusual for me). And...I just want to say thank you so much to those who were there. I haven't had SO MUCH JOY in my life for months, and it was such a huge blessing to me to laugh for so long, so absolutely sensele...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I was doing a little research this morning on the meanings of certain words. My question for myself was: when is it gossip vs. constructive criticism vs. inventory taking vs. opinion? First I'd like to share the meanings I found online (bear with me, some are long), then I'd like to share...

kspear · kspear

Good morning, all. I'm sitting here at my computer, having just made my first blog entry. I've been writing for as long as I can remember, especially when I am faced with something painful or difficult - or even sometimes when I am so full of joy I cannot find my voice to express myself. I have f...

Cyn · Cyn

Today is exactly 6 months that I broke up with my A - to me it doesnt feel that long. Sometimes it feels longer and that the time I spent with him was a dream and sometimes it feels somewhat shorter like I can still hear his voice. I know with him 6 months iapart is typical, a year is typical, 2 yea...

tigerseye · tigerseye

Hi, All. I'm looking for that list that someone (can't for the life of me remember who...maybe angel) referred to and copy/pasted into this morning's meeting. It was about rights and responsibilities... If anyone could post it in here, I'd really appreciate it. I had c/ped it and lost it....

Jennifer · Jennifer

Morning Everyone, err I guess it is afternoon, Well, where to begin .... With my zero tolerance boundary for lies that I set months ago and let slide little by little until last night. To make a long story short my A and I had an agreement about financial decisions, and in the last few days there were num...

WishingOnAStar · WishingOnAStar

I have never had to deal with alcoholism before, so this is entirely new to me, and confusing. My story goes like this.....14 years ago my boyfriend and I met at a mutual friend's party. We were both 14. We stayed together almost 3 years, but the relationship ended and 7 years went by...

Gailey · Gailey

as you saw in my prior post , charges were dropped when my A son went to court this morning. I prayed for my HP to accept His will for the outcome of this hearing. now, certain people at work are saying things like "that is not a good outcome for him, he is learning nothing from this experience". I sort of...

gardengal · gardengal

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello all, I few days ago a topic was stated titled "Why are you here". I thought it was a great topic, I didn't take any offense to it, I believe I saw it for how it was meant to be seen. I read the responses and I got some out of them. I have been doing alot of thinking since I discovered last night th...

sparkette · sparkette

Tonights meeting had this as a topic. I was sitting down reading some Robert Frost tonight and came upon this poem that reminded me how easy it can be to keep things simple :O) You can always just rebalance the load :O) Love you all...enjoy! "The Armful" For every parcel I stoop down to seize I lose...

angeleyes8462 · angeleyes8462

I have read alot of the stuff on the board the last couple of days. I took sometime away from it all for me. Took time off work to figure out what makes me Smile inside and out and wasn't feeling all that great. Happiness for me is being me being happy, perky, humble when wrong,&n...

luv123 · luv123

HUMOR IN RECOVERY When I take a look at the disease of alcoholism from the distance of years of detachment that my recovery has put between us, I can often have a good chuckle for myself. What a gift that is considering all the pain and suffering I once felt. When I see how someone goes from one alcoh...

kspear · kspear

Hello all, I love this program for so many reasons, today because I can come and share something difficult and know that somewhere in the rooms, someone has gone through something similar and can share ESH on it. My mom just emailed me the news from her doctor. About 1 year ago (almost to the d...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

My A has had some major outbursts and rages the last two days and of course he blames me for his reactions and actions. Says if I didn't say that this way, or make a comment like this that way he wouldn't get so furious with me. Wednesday, I asked him to take the kids to school and I would fill his...

kspear · kspear

Thank you to everyone, I so appreciate all the prayers and sympathies and ESH with regards to my mother. I truly feel wrapped in the love of this program! Karen

debilyn · debilyn

Someone brought up to me something that made me want to share this. I have been here a very long time at mip. Along with growing in alanon I am growing in my spiritual life. You guys know I am not perfect. I am doing my best to be the best person I know how to be. I make mistakes. I hope you know that...

Juster · Juster

As I have said in prior posts, my problems do not seem very significant in consideration of what some of you go through. My AW and I are very close, probably very codependent, and together all of the time except during work. We commute together so I don't have to worry about her driving, I ca...

Gailey · Gailey

and his charges were dropped. I don't know if that is a good thing or not but I prayed that the outcome is God's will so I have to believe it is a good thing. Thanks everyone! Now I can go on with my plans and feel ok for today.

Barbara · Barbara

His restraining order is lifted. He's back to visiting my mother. She's back to enabling. My brother's mad at me for calling the cops when he violated his restraining order. Im ready to detach from the family. I want off the roller coaster.

Gailey · Gailey

In about 1 hour my son is going to court for a dui. He is very scared and I think that is a good thing. Last night he was full of anxiety because of all the footwork he was suppose to do in preparation for this hearing and did not do. Why??? Because he is an A and could only drink away his problems up until last nig...

Unsure · Unsure

I wanted to take the time to thank the board for allowing me to be me, for never judging the things that I did before Alanon, the things that I did to have acceptance, to be with someone, the low self-esteem that had me by the throat for years. But then I realized that someone could either like me for w...

serendipity · serendipity

last night i heard thru the grapevine that my ah went into rehab. but he still owes the rehab thousands from the last time....and they do not except dual diagnoses. which he is. my father is in the end stages of cancer. down to days i think. i am trying to be there for my dad as i am an only child. it's just me. s...

tkr · tkr

I have been searching for answers and sort of found it. brief history, married 16 yrs, together 24 yrs, no children, husband began cocaine use in 04, found out and he stopped in 5-31-05. no cocaine since, now occasionaly drinks, he moved out 12 days ago. had affair during dr...

Christy · Christy

Comes the Dawn After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning And company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts And presents aren't promi...

Jay · Jay

Hi everyone, I joined Al-Anon about two months ago and have been going to weekly meetings. I'm feeling much better but I'm a bit stuck in terms of how to clean up a mess I got myself into. Here's the short version of my story. My relationship with my sister is what drove me into the program. Fo...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

I remember trying to get involved with Alanon years ago, when my AH first got sober.I went to those meetings because I was told I had to or he would get better and I would stay sick.I wanted the marriage to work out so I went. I hated it.I sat there and listened to women tell horror stories of their lives wi...

sunny123 · sunny123

Hi Everyone, I just wanted to thank those who prayed for me to get through my finals in the midst of a crisis with my A. With the help and support I made it! I am currently staying with a dear friend. My therapist suggested that I leave our apartment ASAP. My A husband is requesting the separation a...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Maybe it is because everything I am doing right now is "new" to me, but I am feeling between a rock and hard place right now. It is the end of the school year and it looks like there is a possiblity my AW's possition may be eliminated, ok, well they may find something else for her as the...

canadianguy · canadianguy

We quite often read posts on hear referring to either really good OR really bad experiences that people have had at f2f Al-Anon meetings they have tried. Some feel immediately welcomed and loved - others feel shunned and judged. I'd like to offer my own personal experience, and then a...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

I took some time to write down all my feelings about my A. I wrote him a letter, that I never intended to give him. I realized I do not need this BS existence. He stayed somewhere, God only knows where, with his friend ( I know this because the friends car is in his driveway ) and did well, I can guess tha...

Barbara · Barbara

coffee coffee and more coffee? Had a very hard time sleeping last night - besides my brother going for his pretrial today my boss is throwing even more changes my way. Some Im accepting easier than others. Some Im trying to adapt/rationalize/etc. Some Im trying to anticipate so they are less stressfu...

sarahlm · sarahlm

Hi, I am new and very confused. I used to go to Alanon and still talk to my sponsor periodically but I have decided I want to get better now and go to meetings again and do everything I can to stay connected. My A husband is in jail on multiple DUIs until at least September, probaby longer. My friend reminded...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

this daily was for when we were still escaping through alcohol........this is the gist of what was shared When I was drinking, I always tried to build myself up. I used to "bs" people about myself. I told them so often i began to believe my own crap..... I used to hang around the lowbrow barr...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

since joining alanon I have tried to let my Hp take over, I finally let her face her own consequences & I think it finally worked. Last weekend was really rough but......My A has been sober 6 days now. I am hopeful.

Today is my 46th birthday and she is sober for the first time since I can't reme...

sas · sas

I was reading another post which started me thinking about something. I have some "issues" with my father-in-law. He lived with us for 7 months last year and is back again for another month. I have never really liked him much, but I love the man because he is family. He pick...

hudsond · hudsond

Went to church Sunday--preacher talked about letting stuff go, not carrying around our "baggage"--our perceived or even real hurts and disappointments, our troubles. He said that we should let it go, all that stuff just drags us down and makes it pretty impossible to really live life. ...

Faith73 · Faith73

Yesterday evening I stood in front of 20 people in my class and gave a presentation on Helen Keller. My biggest fear is public speaking.I do it anyway. I signed up to go first, so I wouldn't spend time feeling anxious while listening to others. I'm not sure if that was a wise decision. As I started to read m...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I've been reading, but have not had a chance to post in a while. This time of year is so busy. My eight year old is recieving his Communion on Saturday, my 19 year old is playing for the State Junior College tennis title on Saturday, and my 15 year old is playing in a softball t...

Barbara · Barbara

I havent done much reading on the slogans but lately when different situations arise Ive been finding myself thinking "How important is it?", "Let Go Let God", etc. What slogans help you the most?

Gailey · Gailey

I am in a place that I never, ever thought I could be in. Just less than a year ago I thought the rest of my life would be doom and gloom if the A did not get into recovery. Several months later I realize that I am not in that terrible place and the A is still active. It really seems like a miracle to me. I am living a...

Christy · Christy

At my f2f one of my fellow Alanoners was spending her 42nd Wedding Anniversary with us at the meeting. She said although she was saddened, she knows she was right where she needed to be to get through it and was very grateful to be able to go to a meeting and be amongst a family that understood her...

tootired · tootired

Last week I wrote that he threaten me with the gun. Well he call this morning, with the What's the big deal in him voice, of course, I hung up on him. My life is calm, I am staying busy, I am working on my courage to change. I will not get over it this time, like I have done some manytimes before. My reading t...

Diva · Diva

So many here seem to jump at the chance to say, "We don't give advice here." You can speak for yourselves on that one, but consider this: When and if you attempt to assign hidden meanings to statements made by other members, you are stepping way beyond the bounds of propriety. Better you should say, "We d...

Jennifer · Jennifer

That i could respect my AH more if he were a better liar. Since I seem to find out them all .... then I thought of what if I don't find them all .... then came how would I feel if there was much more? And I just cried and cried. If my brain is going to want to greive like this every time I see a li...

angeleyes8462 · angeleyes8462

Hi everyone, I am going to my first Alanon meeting tonight. Lately I have been seeing a lot of negativity as I am trying to keep a uplifted spirit about me. In my recovery. Last night between my first and second job I received a phone call. My A letting me know he was drinking a...

rozrn2 · rozrn2

Hello to this group, My name is Roz (no pseudonyms needed or wanted). It's nearly midnight here and I have been trying to go to sleep for hours as I am really really tired. I just talked to my long-distance boyfriend, D, and some more things came to light and I am angry and extremely...

Atera · Atera

I went to my f2f group meeting last night, and while I was there, I was so comforted, and felt such love and kinship with everyone there. I went home feeling good about what I am doing with the program. Later that night, however; I started second guessing myself and worrying about things I h...

Barbara · Barbara

so you can live a happier life? In 2002 less than 22hrs before we were to leave for a cruise it was cancelled due to Norwalk. It took me a long long time to "get over it". (We did get onboard the ship a year later). Ive been living the life of a martyr ever since - just changed my cause thats all. How do I get ove...

Barbara · Barbara

She said the restraining order against Douglas has been lifted! Actually when I was speaking to her he showed up at her condo so we ended the conversation. He spent last Wed-Mon in jail (again). His bail was $2400 which my mother happened to take to court with her Mon morn. Tomorrow he goes to di...

nicolefrancis · nicolefrancis

This is my first post on here, and im not exactly sure how to do it, so here it goes... I have been with my A for 3 and 1/2 years. It seems like we have been through everything. On our one year anniversary he was court ordered to treatment so i've been with him for about 1 1/2 years in his sobriety. I recentl...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

I dont know what to do or how to react. I have not seen my A in 2 days, he has been out of state for work, he got back in town late last night. He called me just a little bit ago, I told him I got off work in 2 1/2 hours, thought he would be excited, instead he told me he needs to get out of his apartment for a while, sa...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	experience,strength ,and hope (Preview) (((((alanon family)))) I understand the meaning of these three words more right now than I ever have. I have said before on another post that thanks to Alanon I have recently realized that one of the reasons I have stayed in a bad marriage to my A is because I was afraid of the insanity of my family of o...	drucilla06	3	597	May 7, 2006 by notsonew1111
	Need ESH (Preview) Hi Alanon Friends, I am a mess today. I asked my sober AH to come for the weekend. He said he was golfing and couldn't make it. He said next weekend maybe. Then he told me how he was so busy this afternoon helping his neighbor prepare for a race tomorrow. I asked him last weekend too. He said he was too busy....	nmike	6	576	May 7, 2006 by sweetums
	it's outta my hands (and I thank God it is) (Preview) You're my sunshine after the rain you're the cure against my fear and my pain 'cause im losing my mind when you're not around it's all . . . it's all because of you credit goes to 98 degrees God is the sunshine after my rain . . . This week's weather began with ominous clouds followed by three da...	Maria123	13	646	May 7, 2006 by bob6502
	Words of Wisdom Needed (Preview) Well today is 16 days of seperationn for my a hub. Today is also my 19th Wedding how crazy is that......Anyway, I am trying to remain strong, hub keeps calling, he's at his dad's house. He is recovering from surgery on his leg. This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my life. The proble...	Andrea12	5	603	May 6, 2006 by sandie123
	He pulled me back in...and I know better (Preview) I am not stupid. I found my A last night after mulitple attempts to contact him on his cell phone. He was in the American Legion, thankfully I knew a lady going in and asked her if she could get me in too. (need a key card to enter) She gladly obliged. I walked in and there sat my A, he look stunned to say the le...	jennneeefffurrr	7	493	May 6, 2006 by isabela40
	And I laugh... (Preview) I have been here nearly a year posting on this board reading everyone's post and relating it to my crazy life. I realized today, i am further along on the path of recovery than i give myself credit. During the last year, i have left and returned twice, once being gone for over a mont...	Tammy	3	468	May 6, 2006 by Christy
	where is your place for serenity/ "happy place"? (Preview) Is it a nearby lake, rock chasm, back yard deck? Im thinking mine this year is going to be the nearby dam/beach. Its less than .5mile from our house. My backyard neighbors have some type of wood cutting business maybe? They really trashed the place so the backyard is out. I do enjoy our front yard as it l...	Barbara	7	651	May 6, 2006 by Maria123
	suprise i changed! (Preview) the rehab that my a is in called this afternoon. in part because they won't be keeping him very long and were wondering about a discharge plan. i actually was caught so off guard that i think all i said was that the kids will be happy to know he is ok and we love him and care. she was telling me he was there as if i...	serendipity	2	595	May 6, 2006 by Maria123
	Joy (Preview) Tonight, I went to my first Friday night meeting, and stayed afterward to chat (which is fairly unusual for me). And...I just want to say thank you so much to those who were there. I haven't had SO MUCH JOY in my life for months, and it was such a huge blessing to me to laugh for so long, so absolutely sensele...	tigerseye	2	518	May 6, 2006 by Maria123
	gossip/inventory/opinion/constructive criticism? (Preview) I was doing a little research this morning on the meanings of certain words. My question for myself was: when is it gossip vs. constructive criticism vs. inventory taking vs. opinion? First I'd like to share the meanings I found online (bear with me, some are long), then I'd like to share...	kismetstrand	4	787	May 6, 2006 by gardengal
	Written word (Preview) Good morning, all. I'm sitting here at my computer, having just made my first blog entry. I've been writing for as long as I can remember, especially when I am faced with something painful or difficult - or even sometimes when I am so full of joy I cannot find my voice to express myself. I have f...	kspear	1	412	May 6, 2006 by Maria123
	Taking inventory (Preview) Today is exactly 6 months that I broke up with my A - to me it doesnt feel that long. Sometimes it feels longer and that the time I spent with him was a dream and sometimes it feels somewhat shorter like I can still hear his voice. I know with him 6 months iapart is typical, a year is typical, 2 yea...	Cyn	5	465	May 5, 2006 by sandie123
	Looking for that awesome LIST that someone posted in the morning meeting. Help! (Preview) Hi, All. I'm looking for that list that someone (can't for the life of me remember who...maybe angel) referred to and copy/pasted into this morning's meeting. It was about rights and responsibilities... If anyone could post it in here, I'd really appreciate it. I had c/ped it and lost it....	tigerseye	3	483	May 5, 2006 by angel123
	I'm in my HP's hands now (Preview) Morning Everyone, err I guess it is afternoon, Well, where to begin .... With my zero tolerance boundary for lies that I set months ago and let slide little by little until last night. To make a long story short my A and I had an agreement about financial decisions, and in the last few days there were num...	Jennifer	4	477	May 5, 2006 by Dolphin123
	I'm new here and really could use help/support (Preview) I have never had to deal with alcoholism before, so this is entirely new to me, and confusing. My story goes like this.....14 years ago my boyfriend and I met at a mutual friend's party. We were both 14. We stayed together almost 3 years, but the relationship ended and 7 years went by...	WishingOnAStar	6	531	May 5, 2006 by WishingOnAStar
	not sure what to think (Preview) as you saw in my prior post , charges were dropped when my A son went to court this morning. I prayed for my HP to accept His will for the outcome of this hearing. now, certain people at work are saying things like "that is not a good outcome for him, he is learning nothing from this experience". I sort of...	Gailey	3	460	May 5, 2006 by lin0606
	Question? How do you let go of feelings of guilt for something that isnt your fault? (Preview)	gardengal	10	564	May 5, 2006 by abbyal
	Why I am here (Preview) Hello all, I few days ago a topic was stated titled "Why are you here". I thought it was a great topic, I didn't take any offense to it, I believe I saw it for how it was meant to be seen. I read the responses and I got some out of them. I have been doing alot of thinking since I discovered last night th...	Dolphin123	6	631	May 5, 2006 by tea2
	Keep it simple (Preview) Tonights meeting had this as a topic. I was sitting down reading some Robert Frost tonight and came upon this poem that reminded me how easy it can be to keep things simple :O) You can always just rebalance the load :O) Love you all...enjoy! "The Armful" For every parcel I stoop down to seize I lose...	sparkette	6	549	May 5, 2006 by peewee
	Trying to look at today not torrow (Preview) I have read alot of the stuff on the board the last couple of days. I took sometime away from it all for me. Took time off work to figure out what makes me Smile inside and out and wasn't feeling all that great. Happiness for me is being me being happy, perky, humble when wrong,&n...	angeleyes8462	1	589	May 5, 2006 by mebjk
	humor from distancing (Preview) HUMOR IN RECOVERY When I take a look at the disease of alcoholism from the distance of years of detachment that my recovery has put between us, I can often have a good chuckle for myself. What a gift that is considering all the pain and suffering I once felt. When I see how someone goes from one alcoh...	luv123	1	482	May 5, 2006 by Faith73
	Sad News (Preview) Hello all, I love this program for so many reasons, today because I can come and share something difficult and know that somewhere in the rooms, someone has gone through something similar and can share ESH on it. My mom just emailed me the news from her doctor. About 1 year ago (almost to the d...	kspear	22	781	May 5, 2006 by Ria
	Feeling bummed out today (Preview) My A has had some major outbursts and rages the last two days and of course he blames me for his reactions and actions. Says if I didn't say that this way, or make a comment like this that way he wouldn't get so furious with me. Wednesday, I asked him to take the kids to school and I would fill his...	twinmom2	6	513	May 5, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Thank you, a response to sad news (Preview) Thank you to everyone, I so appreciate all the prayers and sympathies and ESH with regards to my mother. I truly feel wrapped in the love of this program! Karen	kspear	1	616	May 5, 2006 by Ria
	some of me to you (Preview) Someone brought up to me something that made me want to share this. I have been here a very long time at mip. Along with growing in alanon I am growing in my spiritual life. You guys know I am not perfect. I am doing my best to be the best person I know how to be. I make mistakes. I hope you know that...	debilyn	7	584	May 5, 2006 by DanaAngel
	A little ESH Please (Preview) As I have said in prior posts, my problems do not seem very significant in consideration of what some of you go through. My AW and I are very close, probably very codependent, and together all of the time except during work. We commute together so I don't have to worry about her driving, I ca...	Juster	7	568	May 5, 2006 by Juster
	his trial is over already (Preview) and his charges were dropped. I don't know if that is a good thing or not but I prayed that the outcome is God's will so I have to believe it is a good thing. Thanks everyone! Now I can go on with my plans and feel ok for today.	Gailey	1	459	May 5, 2006 by Dolphin123
	brother made it through his pretrial, trial sent for end of July (Preview) His restraining order is lifted. He's back to visiting my mother. She's back to enabling. My brother's mad at me for calling the cops when he violated his restraining order. Im ready to detach from the family. I want off the roller coaster.	Barbara	4	503	May 5, 2006 by Jeannie
	feeling a little scared this morning (Preview) In about 1 hour my son is going to court for a dui. He is very scared and I think that is a good thing. Last night he was full of anxiety because of all the footwork he was suppose to do in preparation for this hearing and did not do. Why??? Because he is an A and could only drink away his problems up until last nig...	Gailey	2	512	May 5, 2006 by Dolphin123
	What To Do (Preview) I wanted to take the time to thank the board for allowing me to be me, for never judging the things that I did before Alanon, the things that I did to have acceptance, to be with someone, the low self-esteem that had me by the throat for years. But then I realized that someone could either like me for w...	Unsure	5	628	May 5, 2006 by Faith73
	rehab: take 2 (Preview) last night i heard thru the grapevine that my ah went into rehab. but he still owes the rehab thousands from the last time....and they do not except dual diagnoses. which he is. my father is in the end stages of cancer. down to days i think. i am trying to be there for my dad as i am an only child. it's just me. s...	serendipity	3	449	May 5, 2006 by debilyn
	new and confused. (Preview) I have been searching for answers and sort of found it. brief history, married 16 yrs, together 24 yrs, no children, husband began cocaine use in 04, found out and he stopped in 5-31-05. no cocaine since, now occasionaly drinks, he moved out 12 days ago. had affair during dr...	tkr	5	528	May 5, 2006 by debilyn
	ComesThe Dawn (Preview) Comes the Dawn After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning And company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts And presents aren't promi...	Christy	6	503	May 5, 2006 by aunitedway
	New to AlAnon, not sure what to do (Preview) Hi everyone, I joined Al-Anon about two months ago and have been going to weekly meetings. I'm feeling much better but I'm a bit stuck in terms of how to clean up a mess I got myself into. Here's the short version of my story. My relationship with my sister is what drove me into the program. Fo...	Jay	10	628	May 5, 2006 by aunitedway
	Couldn't do it without Alanon..... (Preview) I remember trying to get involved with Alanon years ago, when my AH first got sober.I went to those meetings because I was told I had to or he would get better and I would stay sick.I wanted the marriage to work out so I went. I hated it.I sat there and listened to women tell horror stories of their lives wi...	drucilla06	3	495	May 5, 2006 by debilyn
	update (Preview) Hi Everyone, I just wanted to thank those who prayed for me to get through my finals in the midst of a crisis with my A. With the help and support I made it! I am currently staying with a dear friend. My therapist suggested that I leave our apartment ASAP. My A husband is requesting the separation a...	sunny123	3	464	May 5, 2006 by debilyn
	Projecting or Proactive (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Maybe it is because everything I am doing right now is "new" to me, but I am feeling between a rock and hard place right now. It is the end of the school year and it looks like there is a possiblity my AW's possition may be eliminated, ok, well they may find something else for her as the...	rtexas	7	548	May 5, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Support of f2f meetings... (Preview) We quite often read posts on hear referring to either really good OR really bad experiences that people have had at f2f Al-Anon meetings they have tried. Some feel immediately welcomed and loved - others feel shunned and judged. I'd like to offer my own personal experience, and then a...	canadianguy	7	670	May 5, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Calling It QUITS with my A (Preview) I took some time to write down all my feelings about my A. I wrote him a letter, that I never intended to give him. I realized I do not need this BS existence. He stayed somewhere, God only knows where, with his friend ( I know this because the friends car is in his driveway ) and did well, I can guess tha...	jennneeefffurrr	10	835	May 4, 2006 by isabela40
	how do you function after those sleepless nights? (Preview) coffee coffee and more coffee? Had a very hard time sleeping last night - besides my brother going for his pretrial today my boss is throwing even more changes my way. Some Im accepting easier than others. Some Im trying to adapt/rationalize/etc. Some Im trying to anticipate so they are less stressfu...	Barbara	4	452	May 4, 2006 by Maria123
	New to this board-husband in jail (Preview) Hi, I am new and very confused. I used to go to Alanon and still talk to my sponsor periodically but I have decided I want to get better now and go to meetings again and do everything I can to stay connected. My A husband is in jail on multiple DUIs until at least September, probaby longer. My friend reminded...	sarahlm	5	518	May 4, 2006 by abbyal
	what a diference the program can make (Preview) this daily was for when we were still escaping through alcohol........this is the gist of what was shared When I was drinking, I always tried to build myself up. I used to "bs" people about myself. I told them so often i began to believe my own crap..... I used to hang around the lowbrow barr...	rosie light shines	3	428	May 4, 2006 by sunny123
	bestest birthday ever today may 4th (Preview) since joining alanon I have tried to let my Hp take over, I finally let her face her own consequences & I think it finally worked. Last weekend was really rough but......My A has been sober 6 days now. I am hopeful. Today is my 46th birthday and she is sober for the first time since I can't reme...	hmrnrnmm	8	601	May 4, 2006 by Jennifer
	My Part In It (Preview) I was reading another post which started me thinking about something. I have some "issues" with my father-in-law. He lived with us for 7 months last year and is back again for another month. I have never really liked him much, but I love the man because he is family. He pick...	sas	2	644	May 4, 2006 by rosie light shines
	Letting Go (Preview) Went to church Sunday--preacher talked about letting stuff go, not carrying around our "baggage"--our perceived or even real hurts and disappointments, our troubles. He said that we should let it go, all that stuff just drags us down and makes it pretty impossible to really live life. ...	hudsond	4	490	May 4, 2006 by rosie light shines
	Walking thru the fear (Preview) Yesterday evening I stood in front of 20 people in my class and gave a presentation on Helen Keller. My biggest fear is public speaking.I do it anyway. I signed up to go first, so I wouldn't spend time feeling anxious while listening to others. I'm not sure if that was a wise decision. As I started to read m...	Faith73	13	749	May 4, 2006 by Faith73
	Update (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been reading, but have not had a chance to post in a while. This time of year is so busy. My eight year old is recieving his Communion on Saturday, my 19 year old is playing for the State Junior College tennis title on Saturday, and my 15 year old is playing in a softball t...	Jeannie	8	713	May 4, 2006 by debilyn
	What slogans do You use the most? (Preview) I havent done much reading on the slogans but lately when different situations arise Ive been finding myself thinking "How important is it?", "Let Go Let God", etc. What slogans help you the most?	Barbara	9	957	May 4, 2006 by Dolphin123
	"old me"..........."new me" (Preview) I am in a place that I never, ever thought I could be in. Just less than a year ago I thought the rest of my life would be doom and gloom if the A did not get into recovery. Several months later I realize that I am not in that terrible place and the A is still active. It really seems like a miracle to me. I am living a...	Gailey	3	946	May 4, 2006 by david62
	A great, true Alanon story.. :) (Preview) At my f2f one of my fellow Alanoners was spending her 42nd Wedding Anniversary with us at the meeting. She said although she was saddened, she knows she was right where she needed to be to get through it and was very grateful to be able to go to a meeting and be amongst a family that understood her...	Christy	6	521	May 4, 2006 by Jeannie
	What's the big Deal!!! (Preview) Last week I wrote that he threaten me with the gun. Well he call this morning, with the What's the big deal in him voice, of course, I hung up on him. My life is calm, I am staying busy, I am working on my courage to change. I will not get over it this time, like I have done some manytimes before. My reading t...	tootired	4	502	May 4, 2006 by aunitedway
	A little something that bothers me. (Preview) So many here seem to jump at the chance to say, "We don't give advice here." You can speak for yourselves on that one, but consider this: When and if you attempt to assign hidden meanings to statements made by other members, you are stepping way beyond the bounds of propriety. Better you should say, "We d...	Diva	11	667	May 4, 2006 by Diva
	I had this weird thought (Preview) That i could respect my AH more if he were a better liar. Since I seem to find out them all .... then I thought of what if I don't find them all .... then came how would I feel if there was much more? And I just cried and cried. If my brain is going to want to greive like this every time I see a li...	Jennifer	7	735	May 4, 2006 by kathykelly
	What is going on in my world (Preview) Hi everyone, I am going to my first Alanon meeting tonight. Lately I have been seeing a lot of negativity as I am trying to keep a uplifted spirit about me. In my recovery. Last night between my first and second job I received a phone call. My A letting me know he was drinking a...	angeleyes8462	2	501	May 4, 2006 by roygbiv
	Serious Help Needed Fast (Preview) Hello to this group, My name is Roz (no pseudonyms needed or wanted). It's nearly midnight here and I have been trying to go to sleep for hours as I am really really tired. I just talked to my long-distance boyfriend, D, and some more things came to light and I am angry and extremely...	rozrn2	11	546	May 4, 2006 by roygbiv
	what does this mean? (Preview) I went to my f2f group meeting last night, and while I was there, I was so comforted, and felt such love and kinship with everyone there. I went home feeling good about what I am doing with the program. Later that night, however; I started second guessing myself and worrying about things I h...	Atera	8	672	May 4, 2006 by roygbiv
	how do you let go of the self-pity? (Preview) so you can live a happier life? In 2002 less than 22hrs before we were to leave for a cruise it was cancelled due to Norwalk. It took me a long long time to "get over it". (We did get onboard the ship a year later). Ive been living the life of a martyr ever since - just changed my cause thats all. How do I get ove...	Barbara	7	896	May 4, 2006 by roygbiv
	just spoke with my mother (Preview) She said the restraining order against Douglas has been lifted! Actually when I was speaking to her he showed up at her condo so we ended the conversation. He spent last Wed-Mon in jail (again). His bail was $2400 which my mother happened to take to court with her Mon morn. Tomorrow he goes to di...	Barbara	3	462	May 4, 2006 by roygbiv
	confused, overwhelmed (Preview) This is my first post on here, and im not exactly sure how to do it, so here it goes... I have been with my A for 3 and 1/2 years. It seems like we have been through everything. On our one year anniversary he was court ordered to treatment so i've been with him for about 1 1/2 years in his sobriety. I recentl...	nicolefrancis	4	594	May 4, 2006 by Jerry F
	Need HELP & ADVICE NOW!!! (Preview) I dont know what to do or how to react. I have not seen my A in 2 days, he has been out of state for work, he got back in town late last night. He called me just a little bit ago, I told him I got off work in 2 1/2 hours, thought he would be excited, instead he told me he needs to get out of his apartment for a while, sa...	jennneeefffurrr	10	974	May 4, 2006 by roygbiv
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.