Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mama_nz · mama_nz

This song (although it's Britney Spears) has been stuck in my head lately: Baby, can’t you see I’m calling A guy like you Should wear a warning It’s dangerous I’m fallin’ There’s no escape I can’t hide I need a hit Baby, give me it You’re dangerous I’m lovin’ it Too high Can’t come down Losing my head S...

Wilted · Wilted

I just can't do this anymore. I'm packing my bags and going back to my hometown on Friday. I just can't keep living this way....which is not living at all to me. My AH is a good man when not drinking, but he drinks every day and I cannot depend on him to follow through on anything he says to me, s...

kdk31760 · kdk31760

I need to find a way to kick an alcohol problem that has been a part of my life for over twenty years. The reason I do not fit the stereotype is I am not abusive when I drink, I have had no DUI's, I have not lost a job due to drinking and am in a marraige full of love and respect. The problem is I drink every day a...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"Critism is often the sincerest form of flattery. We are all subject to it at times if we do anything at all. When criticism does arise, and before you build up a first rate resentment, think first--who is it that criticizes? What is the motive behind it? Is it constructive or just plain antagonis...

meagain · meagain

I would really appreciate a online sponsor. Just the every day "stressors" get me down! Not really having problem with "A" son-I am a "people-pleaser" with my Adult children-and I get tired of it. I have 3 sons-32/33/34. Now I know "a son's a son-till he...

AliveandRecovering · AliveandRecovering

Hey All, I'm so glad that I found this board

Right now I'm stuck in a valley

I got married over a month ago and moved quite a distance from my family. I knew that this time would be hard, but the forknowledge of that hasn't eased my feelings. I've been in /AlateenAl Anon...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) In living with an A and trying to have a full harmonious life it can sure cause the boundary lines to get fuzzy. My boundary lines have gotten criss-crossed. So I'm going back to the drawing board and re-teaching myself what a boundary is. What is my property line and what is my A...

Rora · Rora

My AH is gone. That's sad. For me. For him. For our son. But the shift I am already noticing in myself is something I couldn't have predicted. How ironic. The AH's wife (me), who has been queen of manipulation trying to predict the outcomes, found a gift in the outcome when she stopped...

barisax · barisax

This may be premature, but... I think I may be in the beginning stages of a relationship. As I've shared here before, it has been a long time, and I've only had one "real" relationship in my life which resulted in a decade long marriage and ultimately, divorce. At my last f2f meeti...

nmike · nmike

Hi friends, I haven't posted in awhile. My AHsober keeps his distance. When he does call it of course is all about him - what he has done, what he wants to buy, how busy he is helping everyone else. We are taking a trip tomorrow to see our son in the military. Long trip in the car but I think that our son nee...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

It takes about ten years to get used to how old you are. --Unknown If it is hard to adjust to our age. How much harder it must be to realize we can't even run our own life with any degree of competence. Until we get used to that idea we will keep having living troubles. Accepting our incompetence doesn&...

IceLady · IceLady

Hi everyone. I am new here. Just dropped my alkoholic ex and my fathers son off in rehab few hours ago. Hope he will get better now, months of work ahead of us...both of us. He will be in rehab for at least 2 months. And I am starting my al-anon work.

Btw I am 27 years and have a 5 year old son, and we a...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I haven't been around in quite a while. I pop in and read some, but I haven't done much else. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out what my HP wants of me, because following is just getting so confusing. My AH is out again. He has graduated from just making me...

lilms · lilms

Friends, A dear, wonderful, sweet, kind, gentle shining light has gone out. On January 26th a wonderful man from our community went missing. He was a fierce fighter for the disenfranchised in our community. They found his body yesterday. Please say a prayer for his family, friends, those he work...

lmt123 · lmt123

((((((((Dear Friends)))))))) I just wanted to say that I'm still here, although I've not been into chat very much lately. I'm working on ME, working on taking care of MY future, which means that changes are happening. I'm in the middle of making some serious life changes, regar...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello all, My father had to do a recovery on my puter and I lost some Java files, and I am lost. Cannot get into chat or anything like that. Luckily, My daughter is coming this weekend to fix things for me. She is 15 and soooo smart. No common sense, the nut didn't fall too far from the tree, lol, at least t...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I read in a book Codependant No More (can't find it, lost it in the house) about the many ways that a person can be codependant or think of codependancy. I thought I was codependant because I was so dependant on the alcoholic. Dependant on the alcoholic=COdependant. Made sense to me. So my whole thi...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Well, I keep feeling different about being alone now that my A moved out. He feels like I am pushing our relationship away. Maybe I am. Maybe I am learning to lean more on myself and especially God now that I do not have the chaos and 2 walking time bombs living under the same roof. Sometimes I wonder, eve...

kitty · kitty

Sick how I wake up crying & won't talk or reach out to anyone. It is most often when I am the worst off, depression wise, that I won't utter a word to anyone, when I need to the most. That is part of the nature of depression - isolating, desperately, alone. I love this Board & encourage us...

still searching · still searching

Hi everyone, I am glad to have found this board. My husband is a alcoholic and I certainly have seen the progression over the last bouple of years. I think the last year or so it has been progressing quickly. He now drinks every day and starts early in the morning on his off days, drinking straight whisk...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

I wrote these poems after coming back from this retreat. It was my spiritual awakening so to speak. I am enlightened and the speaker told me what I needed to hear and I am grateful for that and being able to go..... Here are the poems Awakening from the dark I just want you to see my dreams today They are wha...

Fifi · Fifi

Found this on another website and it spoke loudly to me...thought I'd share it. Love, Fifi February 21, 2007 Choosing Not To Be A Target Emotional Attacks Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did t...

QOD · QOD

I am still struggling w/the whole detachment thing. All through this ordeal w/my AH, I have concentrated on just getting through....surviving each day. I have worked so hard to Let Go and Let God. He did his thing and I did mine w/the kids. Now that he is gone, it is like I am missing that part of my l...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, My vision has gone on vacation again. I wish I could keep up with the posts, it's just too painful. I hope you all are well and I will catch up as soon as I can. Jennifer

jewely · jewely

i heard a psychiatrist say........., ''it is not the alcohol that causes these people to murder, raped, beat, molestand commit crimes. it is what is inside of themselves that causes this behavior.'' talked to my brother tonight, and, he asked, ''how do you handle your hu...

Rora · Rora

I am struggling today with keeping my mouth shut. I feel angry at my AH. Even though he's not drinking since October. I am tense and irritable when he is around me. He is disengaged from me and that's as hurtful to me as if he were spewing out insults. He wakes up. Doesn't say anything to me o...

Newme · Newme

Hiya roomies,I am finally starting to live and let live…

I just came back from a lovely meeting, one of the sweetest old timers was sharing of letting live…I learned to don’t use the word "should" …when I say you should do this or that…the message I pass on is that they are not good enough as...

maria13 · maria13

Hi everyone , i walked out on my husband of 15 years in october he had a bad alcohol problem and eventually after many years of mental abuse he turned violent , i left for my own sanity and my two kids sake he has begged me to give him another chance but i cant , i declared myself homeless with the council and a...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I put myself out there on Match.com looking for someone to have as a good, casual relationship, to start with because I was really feeling left out with friends being the only one on my own. It would be nice to have someone to take to cook outs and stuff like that. I feel like such a fifth wheel otherwise....

thumper · thumper

New here and so many questions and worries. My husband admitted to being an alcoholic (with no provacation on my part) three weeks ago and has been going to AA meetings ever since. He hasn't drank as far as I'm aware and I truly believe he did this for himself, not for me or our children. This is th...

evey · evey

Howdy, Just an update, my Ah is still here. He will not leave. His parents will not let him stay with them( how convenient).Quite frankly I think letting him so I could pull my end together would be beneficial to everyone, including him. Contacted a lawyer, told me not to leave if I felt "sa...

QOD · QOD

If you read my post from yesterday and last week....here is the latest: My AH did leave yesterday. He was gone by the time I got off of work @ 4:00. He loaded up his clothes, put his car on his trailer and hooked that to his truck and off he went. He got my yard done, finished up some projects around my house...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi all, yes I am expected to stick my head in the alcoholic sandbox again, last saturday, my youngest son got into an altercation with another boy and bloodied his nose after being hit in the stomach. No not the end of it, the boy's parents are baying for more blood, and are preparing to make this a who...

fozzie · fozzie

I was doing well not too long ago - then we had the big mess-up at my parents' house two weeks ago when they saw my husband staggering around their kitchen drunk on a Sunday morning. The outcome was a lot of "talks" that I probably should never have initiated, because frankly, I don'...

Gailey · Gailey

Let me first begin by saying my husband is not an A. I have been reading alot of posts today about wives living with a sober A. I am not living with a sober A but I feel I need to apply the same principals to my marriage. We are empty nesters and my oldest son is the A that has gotten the focus the past year. This se...

Diva · Diva

For as many years as I can remember, I have wanted a Mustang. The car, not the horse....Well, today I went out and bought myself a gorgeous dark metallic blue one with two wide white stripes all the way up the trunk lid, over the top, and down the hood. THis is a classy machine. I spent my own money. Didn'...

Fifi · Fifi

hi all i know i have not been posting much and i miss you all the times i am here and respond and read have continued to help me on my healing path i have so many thing to share in a day...so many questions... but i don't come here and start a topic. partly because my boyfriend is home a lot and i don't have much pr...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Being Right Recovery is not about being right; it's about allowing ourselves to be who we are and accepting others as they are. That concept can be difficult for many of us if we have lived in systems that functioned on the "right/wrong" justice scale. The person who was right was okay;...

lilms · lilms

Okay, have gone from needing anger management skills to pure frustration, loss (of what I am not sure yet) and nausea. And I don't even get the drunk to go with it. At least I get to stay in my home for now. Altho at the moment a week away sounds good. Need to get a hold of the boss and see how soon I can a...

lilms · lilms

((((Everyone))))) Our A got herself evicted. Not sure exactly what happened. Have heard two versions. She was housesitting up until today apparantly. Her Mom said last week that she may need to stay here for a bit. I told her to let me know when that would be happening and I would be elsewhere. He...

Rora · Rora

I've heard a few times, that if your A is sober, then it's okay to leave the kid (s) with him, so I could get to a meeting and have ME time, etc. Yesterday, after working all day, I called on the way home from work to see how my non-drinking AH was and my 2 year old son. There was no answer. Called back. N...

Newme · Newme

Hello to all of you…Hubby came back home late last night & couldn’t keep his word once more…he forgot his keys so he woke me up @ 1:30 am…I opened the door a little bit & saw him standing back to the wall with his head down… I knew how guilty he feels. I left to the room without any eye contact or a singl...

jewely · jewely

i have been wondering........, WHY? why is it all about them [alcoholics] or should i ask, why do we let it be all about them? i know they are sick. but, that isn't an excuse to ''do unto others what they would never do unto themselves''. when i was a girl, i and two of my sisters was m...

Becky1 · Becky1

Well, it is Monday afternoon 3:30. Still no word from hubby. And I will be darned if I will call him. He told me not to, and I ALWAYS do what he says....yeah, right. Anyway, I am still breathing. Heart hurts, but I made it thru the day at work without incident. He has been gone since I got home Sat. after...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello everyone! Although I haven't posted in a really long time, I've been here often, mostly just reading. I don't have any contact at all with my soon-to-be ex-AH. My divorce will be final in about 3 or 4 weeks. He chose alcohol and cocaine over our life together. I left him in September. It...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello everyone. I know it has been a while since I have posted. It was not intentional. I lost access to my internet, and now that I am back on I am very happy. I have much to tell. My A has had to move out and is staying in a hotel down the street so it gives me a lot more space, but I really miss having someone here...

melamom815 · melamom815

My hub called to say he wants to be sober. I say 'Good for you' and he asked me if that was all I had to say. I asked him what else he wanted me to say and he asked for me to help him not drink. He wants me to come home and sit with him, not let him buy beer, and make sure he doesn't get too sick. He sa...

nycbt · nycbt

Hi Everyone I haven't been on in a while. For past two weeks my father-in-law was in the hospital. I was going the hospital all the time. On Tuesday my father-in-law died. Today was the wake the funeral.

evey · evey

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SuddenlySingle/WhenExHusbandsGetAlimony.aspx-- Edited by evey at 11:23, 2007-02-17

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello all. Thanks for all the supportive comments to my last post. I woke up at 3am, called my A to say hello. He was fine, just woke him up. He had left a message last night for me to call after I went to bed, so I returned it today. I still love the man. He is here right now. I left him to the living room (finally h...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah has been trying to start with me since valentines day when he tried to kiss me and i turned my head. i have been trying to be divorced since last march. i have an idiot for a lawyer who always has an excuse as to why things haven't progressed. meanwhile i have this crazy,although sober, husban...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH had the tax return in his account, I told him I wanted half of it. He had to agree I was entitled to it, but he sure wasn't happy about it. Had to be persitant in getting a check from him. He wanted me to account for the money I requested. I resented it, but I did it anyway. The truth is, I need more tha...

Rita G · Rita G

Happy Mardi Gras - from Southwest Louisiana - I looked for an emoticon that was in the likeness of "Beads" but couldn't find one - so can't have a virtual parade to "Throw me somethin' Mister" or share a piece of "King Cake" - If you get the baby, you have to...

jewely · jewely

a typical conversation with my husband................., me: ''oh look honey it's green.'' husband: ''uhhh no......, i really don't think so . it looks green to me.'' me: ''are you sure? i could have sworn it was green.'' husband...

heartless39470 · heartless39470

Hello, Yes, I am back, I need to start from day one again. Please some one lead me to the examples of detachment. Thanks, Heartless

QOD · QOD

My AH decided last night that he was going to leave. And not just leave but leave TOWN. He is thinking about moving to Arkansas (his sister lives there) or Kentucky (his dad lives there). He is planning on being gone today by the time I get home from work. All of this came about b/c he did some work around...

evey · evey

Hi "Everyone", My situation with my AH has gotten worse and I am divorcing him. If I see a lawyer and get legally separated can I make him leave? I have just had it. Last night he was stuck in a snow bank and I went to help him(yes, I know I should have left him there) and he was stewed. He did not eve...

gimmpy · gimmpy

I'm tired and trying to figure if I have reached a point of letting go or shutting down. I grew up in an alcoholic home and thought I would do a much better job at this parenting stuff. the issue now is my oldest daughter. I know she is drinking and using, not sure to what extend..She has pretty much tune...

rmazi2 · rmazi2

Hello everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself and ask a few questions. I grew up with an alcoholic father. He hit my mom; they got divorced. I haven't talked to my father in 5 years because he got himself a new family and completely dropped ours. I recently started looking up the effects of grow...

Becky1 · Becky1

Jan. 31 was my AH's 50th birthday, so I planned some special things for him. Needless to say, all that got thrown in the muck and mire of alcoholism, and things went from bad to worse. We didn't speak for days afterward. One of the gifts I got him was for a Riverboat Dinner Cruise, and I upgraded...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Toxic (Preview) This song (although it's Britney Spears) has been stuck in my head lately: Baby, can’t you see I’m calling A guy like you Should wear a warning It’s dangerous I’m fallin’ There’s no escape I can’t hide I need a hit Baby, give me it You’re dangerous I’m lovin’ it Too high Can’t come down Losing my head S...	mama_nz	1	290	Feb 24, 2007 by Leetle
	Don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not but... (Preview) I just can't do this anymore. I'm packing my bags and going back to my hometown on Friday. I just can't keep living this way....which is not living at all to me. My AH is a good man when not drinking, but he drinks every day and I cannot depend on him to follow through on anything he says to me, s...	Wilted	11	590	Feb 24, 2007 by Moon
	Don't fit the stereotype (Preview) I need to find a way to kick an alcohol problem that has been a part of my life for over twenty years. The reason I do not fit the stereotype is I am not abusive when I drink, I have had no DUI's, I have not lost a job due to drinking and am in a marraige full of love and respect. The problem is I drink every day a...	kdk31760	9	620	Feb 23, 2007 by ZiggyDoodles
	New prospectives on flattery--surprise! (Preview) "Critism is often the sincerest form of flattery. We are all subject to it at times if we do anything at all. When criticism does arise, and before you build up a first rate resentment, think first--who is it that criticizes? What is the motive behind it? Is it constructive or just plain antagonis...	Tiger2006	6	597	Feb 23, 2007 by CJ
	online sponsor (Preview) I would really appreciate a online sponsor. Just the every day "stressors" get me down! Not really having problem with "A" son-I am a "people-pleaser" with my Adult children-and I get tired of it. I have 3 sons-32/33/34. Now I know "a son's a son-till he...	meagain	1	313	Feb 23, 2007 by Diva
	A Newbie's venting (Preview) Hey All, I'm so glad that I found this board Right now I'm stuck in a valley I got married over a month ago and moved quite a distance from my family. I knew that this time would be hard, but the forknowledge of that hasn't eased my feelings. I've been in /AlateenAl Anon...	AliveandRecovering	7	503	Feb 23, 2007 by aunitedway
	The Boundaries are becoming clearer (Preview) (((MIP Family))) In living with an A and trying to have a full harmonious life it can sure cause the boundary lines to get fuzzy. My boundary lines have gotten criss-crossed. So I'm going back to the drawing board and re-teaching myself what a boundary is. What is my property line and what is my A...	twinmom2	4	588	Feb 23, 2007 by Rita G
	My AH is gone, already there's been a shift... (Preview) My AH is gone. That's sad. For me. For him. For our son. But the shift I am already noticing in myself is something I couldn't have predicted. How ironic. The AH's wife (me), who has been queen of manipulation trying to predict the outcomes, found a gift in the outcome when she stopped...	Rora	4	469	Feb 23, 2007 by mama_nz
	Unknown Territory (Preview) This may be premature, but... I think I may be in the beginning stages of a relationship. As I've shared here before, it has been a long time, and I've only had one "real" relationship in my life which resulted in a decade long marriage and ultimately, divorce. At my last f2f meeti...	barisax	10	379	Feb 23, 2007 by Rita G
	I hope I can stay out of the disease...mine and his (Preview) Hi friends, I haven't posted in awhile. My AHsober keeps his distance. When he does call it of course is all about him - what he has done, what he wants to buy, how busy he is helping everyone else. We are taking a trip tomorrow to see our son in the military. Long trip in the car but I think that our son nee...	nmike	1	403	Feb 23, 2007 by Leetle
	Anyone else here still apply for God's job? Anyone? Anyone? (Preview) It takes about ten years to get used to how old you are. --Unknown If it is hard to adjust to our age. How much harder it must be to realize we can't even run our own life with any degree of competence. Until we get used to that idea we will keep having living troubles. Accepting our incompetence doesn&...	Tiger2006	8	536	Feb 23, 2007 by Christy
	Hi I am new (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new here. Just dropped my alkoholic ex and my fathers son off in rehab few hours ago. Hope he will get better now, months of work ahead of us...both of us. He will be in rehab for at least 2 months. And I am starting my al-anon work. Btw I am 27 years and have a 5 year old son, and we a...	IceLady	8	541	Feb 23, 2007 by IceLady
	Confusion (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't been around in quite a while. I pop in and read some, but I haven't done much else. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out what my HP wants of me, because following is just getting so confusing. My AH is out again. He has graduated from just making me...	Jeannie	6	507	Feb 23, 2007 by Diva
	Rest in Peace Mark, asking for prayers for his family (Preview) Friends, A dear, wonderful, sweet, kind, gentle shining light has gone out. On January 26th a wonderful man from our community went missing. He was a fierce fighter for the disenfranchised in our community. They found his body yesterday. Please say a prayer for his family, friends, those he work...	lilms	10	560	Feb 23, 2007 by Gailey
	healing... (Preview) ((((((((Dear Friends)))))))) I just wanted to say that I'm still here, although I've not been into chat very much lately. I'm working on ME, working on taking care of MY future, which means that changes are happening. I'm in the middle of making some serious life changes, regar...	lmt123	5	429	Feb 23, 2007 by aunitedway
	stuck in the forum would love some replies--lonely (Preview) Hello all, My father had to do a recovery on my puter and I lost some Java files, and I am lost. Cannot get into chat or anything like that. Luckily, My daughter is coming this weekend to fix things for me. She is 15 and soooo smart. No common sense, the nut didn't fall too far from the tree, lol, at least t...	hippietrippiechick	7	476	Feb 23, 2007 by lin0606
	How am I for codependant? (Preview) I read in a book Codependant No More (can't find it, lost it in the house) about the many ways that a person can be codependant or think of codependancy. I thought I was codependant because I was so dependant on the alcoholic. Dependant on the alcoholic=COdependant. Made sense to me. So my whole thi...	RainyJamie	10	773	Feb 23, 2007 by RainyJamie
	feels like major decision time---HELP (Preview) Well, I keep feeling different about being alone now that my A moved out. He feels like I am pushing our relationship away. Maybe I am. Maybe I am learning to lean more on myself and especially God now that I do not have the chaos and 2 walking time bombs living under the same roof. Sometimes I wonder, eve...	hippietrippiechick	1	367	Feb 23, 2007 by AndiLynn
	I woke up crying - depression & isolating (Preview) Sick how I wake up crying & won't talk or reach out to anyone. It is most often when I am the worst off, depression wise, that I won't utter a word to anyone, when I need to the most. That is part of the nature of depression - isolating, desperately, alone. I love this Board & encourage us...	kitty	10	998	Feb 22, 2007 by Maria123
	new here (Preview) Hi everyone, I am glad to have found this board. My husband is a alcoholic and I certainly have seen the progression over the last bouple of years. I think the last year or so it has been progressing quickly. He now drinks every day and starts early in the morning on his off days, drinking straight whisk...	still searching	6	376	Feb 22, 2007 by Maria123
	I went on an alanon retreat this weekend and it was awesome!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I wrote these poems after coming back from this retreat. It was my spiritual awakening so to speak. I am enlightened and the speaker told me what I needed to hear and I am grateful for that and being able to go..... Here are the poems Awakening from the dark I just want you to see my dreams today They are wha...	Lauren ashley	6	483	Feb 22, 2007 by just me
	detachment (Preview) Found this on another website and it spoke loudly to me...thought I'd share it. Love, Fifi February 21, 2007 Choosing Not To Be A Target Emotional Attacks Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did t...	Fifi	3	326	Feb 22, 2007 by aunitedway
	Detaching....still struggling....trying to be strong. (Preview) I am still struggling w/the whole detachment thing. All through this ordeal w/my AH, I have concentrated on just getting through....surviving each day. I have worked so hard to Let Go and Let God. He did his thing and I did mine w/the kids. Now that he is gone, it is like I am missing that part of my l...	QOD	5	494	Feb 22, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Be back asap (Preview) Hello Everyone, My vision has gone on vacation again. I wish I could keep up with the posts, it's just too painful. I hope you all are well and I will catch up as soon as I can. Jennifer	Jennifer	3	404	Feb 22, 2007 by debilyn
	the drinking was never the issue (Preview) i heard a psychiatrist say........., ''it is not the alcohol that causes these people to murder, raped, beat, molestand commit crimes. it is what is inside of themselves that causes this behavior.'' talked to my brother tonight, and, he asked, ''how do you handle your hu...	jewely	3	493	Feb 22, 2007 by debilyn
	Having a hard time with my non-drinking AH (Preview) I am struggling today with keeping my mouth shut. I feel angry at my AH. Even though he's not drinking since October. I am tense and irritable when he is around me. He is disengaged from me and that's as hurtful to me as if he were spewing out insults. He wakes up. Doesn't say anything to me o...	Rora	6	447	Feb 22, 2007 by maresie2
	Live and let live... (Preview) Hiya roomies,I am finally starting to live and let live… I just came back from a lovely meeting, one of the sweetest old timers was sharing of letting live…I learned to don’t use the word "should" …when I say you should do this or that…the message I pass on is that they are not good enough as...	Newme	6	352	Feb 22, 2007 by maresie2
	CAN ANYONE HELP ME? (Preview) Hi everyone , i walked out on my husband of 15 years in october he had a bad alcohol problem and eventually after many years of mental abuse he turned violent , i left for my own sanity and my two kids sake he has begged me to give him another chance but i cant , i declared myself homeless with the council and a...	maria13	16	663	Feb 22, 2007 by maresie2
	omg this is soo funny and scary (Preview) I put myself out there on Match.com looking for someone to have as a good, casual relationship, to start with because I was really feeling left out with friends being the only one on my own. It would be nice to have someone to take to cook outs and stuff like that. I feel like such a fifth wheel otherwise....	jrtjosey	11	881	Feb 21, 2007 by aunitedway
	New here (Preview) New here and so many questions and worries. My husband admitted to being an alcoholic (with no provacation on my part) three weeks ago and has been going to AA meetings ever since. He hasn't drank as far as I'm aware and I truly believe he did this for himself, not for me or our children. This is th...	thumper	10	571	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	day 5 update..he's still here (Preview) Howdy, Just an update, my Ah is still here. He will not leave. His parents will not let him stay with them( how convenient).Quite frankly I think letting him so I could pull my end together would be beneficial to everyone, including him. Contacted a lawyer, told me not to leave if I felt "sa...	evey	6	481	Feb 21, 2007 by evey
	AH IS GONE!!! (Preview) If you read my post from yesterday and last week....here is the latest: My AH did leave yesterday. He was gone by the time I got off of work @ 4:00. He loaded up his clothes, put his car on his trailer and hooked that to his truck and off he went. He got my yard done, finished up some projects around my house...	QOD	9	567	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Alcoholic sandbox (Preview) Hi all, yes I am expected to stick my head in the alcoholic sandbox again, last saturday, my youngest son got into an altercation with another boy and bloodied his nose after being hit in the stomach. No not the end of it, the boy's parents are baying for more blood, and are preparing to make this a who...	maire rua	4	387	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	How many steps backward can I take???? (Preview) I was doing well not too long ago - then we had the big mess-up at my parents' house two weeks ago when they saw my husband staggering around their kitchen drunk on a Sunday morning. The outcome was a lot of "talks" that I probably should never have initiated, because frankly, I don'...	fozzie	7	495	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Applying Alanon principals to my non-A husband (Preview) Let me first begin by saying my husband is not an A. I have been reading alot of posts today about wives living with a sober A. I am not living with a sober A but I feel I need to apply the same principals to my marriage. We are empty nesters and my oldest son is the A that has gotten the focus the past year. This se...	Gailey	6	1626	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	As usual, it's all about HIM!!! (Preview) For as many years as I can remember, I have wanted a Mustang. The car, not the horse....Well, today I went out and bought myself a gorgeous dark metallic blue one with two wide white stripes all the way up the trunk lid, over the top, and down the hood. THis is a classy machine. I spent my own money. Didn'...	Diva	19	991	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	isolating (Preview) hi all i know i have not been posting much and i miss you all the times i am here and respond and read have continued to help me on my healing path i have so many thing to share in a day...so many questions... but i don't come here and start a topic. partly because my boyfriend is home a lot and i don't have much pr...	Fifi	6	461	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Do you want to be right or happy? (And why can't I be both?) (Preview) Being Right Recovery is not about being right; it's about allowing ourselves to be who we are and accepting others as they are. That concept can be difficult for many of us if we have lived in systems that functioned on the "right/wrong" justice scale. The person who was right was okay;...	Tiger2006	4	469	Feb 21, 2007 by lilms
	Still not happy (Preview) Okay, have gone from needing anger management skills to pure frustration, loss (of what I am not sure yet) and nausea. And I don't even get the drunk to go with it. At least I get to stay in my home for now. Altho at the moment a week away sounds good. Need to get a hold of the boss and see how soon I can a...	lilms	3	331	Feb 21, 2007 by Christy
	I am right but definitely not happy!!! (Preview) ((((Everyone))))) Our A got herself evicted. Not sure exactly what happened. Have heard two versions. She was housesitting up until today apparantly. Her Mom said last week that she may need to stay here for a bit. I told her to let me know when that would be happening and I would be elsewhere. He...	lilms	1	651	Feb 21, 2007 by Diva
	If he's sober he can care for the kids... (Preview) I've heard a few times, that if your A is sober, then it's okay to leave the kid (s) with him, so I could get to a meeting and have ME time, etc. Yesterday, after working all day, I called on the way home from work to see how my non-drinking AH was and my 2 year old son. There was no answer. Called back. N...	Rora	10	577	Feb 21, 2007 by maire rua
	Forgiveness... (Preview) Hello to all of you…Hubby came back home late last night & couldn’t keep his word once more…he forgot his keys so he woke me up @ 1:30 am…I opened the door a little bit & saw him standing back to the wall with his head down… I knew how guilty he feels. I left to the room without any eye contact or a singl...	Newme	2	449	Feb 21, 2007 by kitty
	i have been wondering........, (Preview) i have been wondering........, WHY? why is it all about them [alcoholics] or should i ask, why do we let it be all about them? i know they are sick. but, that isn't an excuse to ''do unto others what they would never do unto themselves''. when i was a girl, i and two of my sisters was m...	jewely	8	497	Feb 21, 2007 by RainyJamie
	Alone Again, Naturally.... (Preview) Well, it is Monday afternoon 3:30. Still no word from hubby. And I will be darned if I will call him. He told me not to, and I ALWAYS do what he says....yeah, right. Anyway, I am still breathing. Heart hurts, but I made it thru the day at work without incident. He has been gone since I got home Sat. after...	Becky1	8	443	Feb 21, 2007 by aunitedway
	Getting better all the time... (Preview) Hello everyone! Although I haven't posted in a really long time, I've been here often, mostly just reading. I don't have any contact at all with my soon-to-be ex-AH. My divorce will be final in about 3 or 4 weeks. He chose alcohol and cocaine over our life together. I left him in September. It...	artygirl	3	428	Feb 20, 2007 by Maria123
	back from being offline for a long time--hope I am still welcome (Preview) Hello everyone. I know it has been a while since I have posted. It was not intentional. I lost access to my internet, and now that I am back on I am very happy. I have much to tell. My A has had to move out and is staying in a hotel down the street so it gives me a lot more space, but I really miss having someone here...	hippietrippiechick	10	541	Feb 20, 2007 by hippietrippiechick
	Letting him go (Preview) My hub called to say he wants to be sober. I say 'Good for you' and he asked me if that was all I had to say. I asked him what else he wanted me to say and he asked for me to help him not drink. He wants me to come home and sit with him, not let him buy beer, and make sure he doesn't get too sick. He sa...	melamom815	5	404	Feb 20, 2007 by mama_nz
	father-in-law died (Preview) Hi Everyone I haven't been on in a while. For past two weeks my father-in-law was in the hospital. I was going the hospital all the time. On Tuesday my father-in-law died. Today was the wake the funeral.	nycbt	18	517	Feb 20, 2007 by lilms
	Good Read for anyone "supporting$" their Alcoholic Spouse (Preview) http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SuddenlySingle/WhenExHusbandsGetAlimony.aspx-- Edited by evey at 11:23, 2007-02-17	evey	2	709	Feb 20, 2007 by bobump
	today was well worth it (Preview) Hello all. Thanks for all the supportive comments to my last post. I woke up at 3am, called my A to say hello. He was fine, just woke him up. He had left a message last night for me to call after I went to bed, so I returned it today. I still love the man. He is here right now. I left him to the living room (finally h...	hippietrippiechick	1	373	Feb 20, 2007 by irish54
	just between me and you (Preview) my ex ah has been trying to start with me since valentines day when he tried to kiss me and i turned my head. i have been trying to be divorced since last march. i have an idiot for a lawyer who always has an excuse as to why things haven't progressed. meanwhile i have this crazy,although sober, husban...	serendipity	5	699	Feb 20, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Money Money here we go again (Preview) AH had the tax return in his account, I told him I wanted half of it. He had to agree I was entitled to it, but he sure wasn't happy about it. Had to be persitant in getting a check from him. He wanted me to account for the money I requested. I resented it, but I did it anyway. The truth is, I need more tha...	RainyJamie	3	682	Feb 20, 2007 by maresie2
	Happy Mardi Gras (Preview) Happy Mardi Gras - from Southwest Louisiana - I looked for an emoticon that was in the likeness of "Beads" but couldn't find one - so can't have a virtual parade to "Throw me somethin' Mister" or share a piece of "King Cake" - If you get the baby, you have to...	Rita G	3	401	Feb 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	conversation with my..........., (Preview) a typical conversation with my husband................., me: ''oh look honey it's green.'' husband: ''uhhh no......, i really don't think so . it looks green to me.'' me: ''are you sure? i could have sworn it was green.'' husband...	jewely	11	492	Feb 19, 2007 by nmike
	Please give me examples of Detachment (Preview) Hello, Yes, I am back, I need to start from day one again. Please some one lead me to the examples of detachment. Thanks, Heartless	heartless39470	7	939	Feb 19, 2007 by Leetle
	AH is leaving town. (Preview) My AH decided last night that he was going to leave. And not just leave but leave TOWN. He is thinking about moving to Arkansas (his sister lives there) or Kentucky (his dad lives there). He is planning on being gone today by the time I get home from work. All of this came about b/c he did some work around...	QOD	4	302	Feb 19, 2007 by Maria123
	How do I get him out? I've hit my bottom... (Preview) Hi "Everyone", My situation with my AH has gotten worse and I am divorcing him. If I see a lawyer and get legally separated can I make him leave? I have just had it. Last night he was stuck in a snow bank and I went to help him(yes, I know I should have left him there) and he was stewed. He did not eve...	evey	11	667	Feb 19, 2007 by maria13
	letting go or indifferent? (Preview) I'm tired and trying to figure if I have reached a point of letting go or shutting down. I grew up in an alcoholic home and thought I would do a much better job at this parenting stuff. the issue now is my oldest daughter. I know she is drinking and using, not sure to what extend..She has pretty much tune...	gimmpy	8	621	Feb 19, 2007 by gimmpy
	Newbie (Preview) Hello everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself and ask a few questions. I grew up with an alcoholic father. He hit my mom; they got divorced. I haven't talked to my father in 5 years because he got himself a new family and completely dropped ours. I recently started looking up the effects of grow...	rmazi2	6	300	Feb 19, 2007 by Rita G
	Can't He Ever Just Be HAPPY? Just ONCE? (Preview) Jan. 31 was my AH's 50th birthday, so I planned some special things for him. Needless to say, all that got thrown in the muck and mire of alcoholism, and things went from bad to worse. We didn't speak for days afterward. One of the gifts I got him was for a Riverboat Dinner Cruise, and I upgraded...	Becky1	10	595	Feb 19, 2007 by Karilynn
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