Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

glad · glad

I have come to realize I need a life outside of trying to "fix" the one I have so at 41 living near a big city (Dallas) I need some good clean suggestions of ways to have fun and meet people, mostly women since I am in a committed relationship but just have no social life of my own. Like most here my...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My A got out of jail about 2 weeks ago and went into a recovery house. Now he's in an apartment with a guy he is working for. He has a job, a home and says he is going to meetings, etc. My agenda was to file for divorce while he was in jail so I can have it go cheaply and smoothly without a custody/visitation fig...

round3 · round3

It's been nearly two months since my A cut off our (long distance) relationship to get his head in the program. At about the same time, I broke off ties with my (long distance) father (and he with me)....... but that's another story. In these past two months, I've spent a lot of time in introspection an...

lin0606 · lin0606

Does anybody have a copy of the "Three views of alanon" pamphlet handy? I'm looking for the bit in "Letter from the alcoholic" that talks about love not being able to exist without justice. Just need to those few sentences.

Codependent · Codependent

I know in my case my A seems to think I am inferior to him because I still care about him so much when he illustrates so clearly how little he is able to care for me. I've read other posts where this is talked about. Do you think this is true just for A's or do you think all people see others who unconditionall...

Alicia · Alicia

Would you be willing to share your experiences with a recovering alcoholic and distrust? To say I am feeling cautious, might be understating my feelings. I'm not sure he is ready to hear the full truth of my feelings. Now that he has chosen to turn back to his HP for assistance and turn back to our marr...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...in the chaos and ashes of despair a Pheonix has risen, and this in itself has caused me to stop and celebrate a new day, a new dawn, and a new understanding of ME as I am TODAY. Whilst sitting in my study preparing for my time of daily contemplation and prayer, I wrote three words down on my note pad: Insan...

david62 · david62

(((((Family))))) This Sunday was to have been the day for our next monthly business meeting in the chat room. However! This also happens to be Superbowl Sunday..!! I will be unavailable to chair the business meeting because of this and so I am rescheduling the Feb Business meeting for the following...

Antigua · Antigua

This is my first time visiting this forum. I have been concerned about my husband's drinking for quite some time now. My husband and I have had many discussions about his drinking and he promises me that he doesn't have a problem. However, this afternoon I found an empy bottle of vodka in his closet a...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Thank you to everyone who set me on my feet again and supported me through my fear. ((((((((((((xxxxxxxxxxxxxx)))))))))))) I have been looking for something to say that would absolutely express the gratitude I have felt and the love that has been wrapped around me and the prayers that have been offe...

bcanuck · bcanuck

Hi all, I've been away for too long, funny how you get so busy living your life and caring for others you forget about yourself. I have a question with regard to detatchment. I have become so "detatched" that I feel I have closed myself off not only to my A hubby, but to the rest of my family and fr...

glad · glad

I am so new to even trying to figure lots of things out. When I read about how some people had detached from their spouse I really thought it was wrong. Till death do us part, love unconditionally etc. Well I almost lost my mind this week. I have really bad migraines... like almost deadly feeling. Doctor...

ddub · ddub

I am not sure but I am more angry with myself for not being able to move on and do anything. I fight so hard against feeling crazy and sometimes it almost feels easier to just ride the slide into the darkness. I don't have much fight left in me anymore and a lot of my problem is me probably. Everything about...

kissers · kissers

My ex A begged for me to take him back. I told him I thought he had a drinking problem and he disagreed. I knew he would, but that is really not the point. It wasn't so much the drinking that bothered me. It was the name calling, put downs, expecting me to do all the work, blaming me, ignoring me. I have friends...

glad · glad

For me I don't battle the "partying". I battle emotional distance during drinking and when he's not, more when he is. When I try to talk to him he sometimes makes jokes about women vs. men and emotional connection but it's so much more than the normal issues like that. How much of my wants are...

tma0413 · tma0413

I am struggling today....AH had made a new years resolution to slow down on his drinking (his choice)...OK...so that was a month ago and Yeah, he has slowed way down...but there has still been the nights (at least 1-2 a week) where he is annoyingly drunk. Not fall down drunk, but enough to annoy me (usu...

donnarock · donnarock

hello all. i am relatively new here and i haven't really posted much. i am married to a recoverd A for seven years. we are in the process of getting a divorce. still living together, still doing some things together and still care for each other. the issue is him. he has been sober for 19 years. but h...

Codependent · Codependent

I think I have mentioned before that I have used with my A. I never had before prior to our relationship. However, I have also used some periodically without him- alot of my feelings involving my guilt with using I believe is also associated with my anxiety over using with him. Anyway, when we had our...

maresie · maresie

One reason I find myself so stressed out is that I can now see fully in technicolor how easiy I fall into the role of victim super martyr. I found myself wanting to go into work early and rescue everyone and be "liked" because I feel like a fish out of water being assertive and focused on my job se...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

Dear Family, I feel that my job may be in jeopardy. This is scaring me to death. I work in a chain drug store as a pharmacist. Each store has 2 pharmacists. My former partner was promoted, and has now become my supervisor. When she was my partner, we had some disagreements and she ended up being transferr...

serendipity · serendipity

What is the oppisite of being compassionate? I believe I am being Un-compassionate as a coping mechanism. I feel like I am trying to stay frozen all the time so that I don't have to feel the pain or anymore pain than I have already felt. I feel like I am turning into a loveless person. I don't want to be this...

Diva · Diva

I see it stated time and time again..."What others think of me is none of my business." I don't have to care what others think of me, but it IS my business, and here's why: If I don't know what others think, don't listen to what others think, and otherwise consider it "none of my business,...

justonemore · justonemore

Hello, I am new here. I am not sure what I am even doing. I know my drinking habits are far from normal and I feel they have gotten much worse in the past few months. I went from going out occassionally after I had my daughter, to going out every weekend, sometimes more than once. We don't even have the money f...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...however before I say anything further, I want to thank all of you who responded to me, one way or another, on my last post. I have appreciated every word that you have communicated to me. I have spent hours reading and rereading and contemplating each word, the hard facts, the questions, the truth...

maresie · maresie

Just a big big big thank you for all your prayers and well wishes. I went to bed last night at 8:00 p.m. I slept straight through till 4:00 a.m. I felt rested and the stress attack was over. I am back on track with a phone interview this afternoon. I have a in person interview tomorrow. I am just going to k...

Jen · Jen

An Al-Anon friend of mine just got a coin for 22 years in this program today. She is so excited. Her sponsor sent it to her in the mail because our tiny small town groups don't even have coins yet. She has shown and amazing amount of growth esp in the last year in spite of odds stacked against her. She is an ins...

Codependent · Codependent

So, don't read this if you won't to be inspired because unfortunately I seem to have back slid and may still be in the slide. I called the A for my birthday and took him out. We went to dinner and to hotel with hot tub. Spent a fortune. We talked about a lot of things and I "fell" in again- saw hi...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...feel I HAVE taken one step forward and ended up ten steps backward. ...feeling that the last four months have been a too much too fast. ...thinking that I no longer know what I believe. ...hoping that I have been able to give something back for the love and concern and support that I have received. ......

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I just got news that my 18 year old niece is getting married in August. UGH, I feel flabbergasted!! She is really young and immature and has barely one year of community college past high school. She just found out she did not get into the nursing program at the community college she is attending becau...

twain91 · twain91

I have been struggling for so long and I still am not sure this is the place for me. My husband is an alcoholic that is true. His father was one, his brothers are alcoholics and so on. His drinking has slowly corroded our marriage. The reason why I don't know if this is the place for me is that there is so mu...

maresie · maresie

For a number of reasons, my health, my income, my home, my lack of support, my job, my commute, my health my stress level is now completely off the charts. I would ask for prayers from you all. I am so absolutely totally wiped out. Maresie

maresie · maresie

As you all know I live in a place where I am constantly intruded up on by other people who live in the house. Last night this one person knocked on my door twice to ask me some stupid question about the laundry. I have put notes on my door to say do not knock and she rips them off. This other person who is a tota...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am working really hard on keeping my emotions level - not falling to putty when AH is husband of the week and not blowing smoke out of my ears when he pulls the latest stunt. Detachment has been essential. For someone, like my AH, who is used to being the focus of attention, this is killing him. He's an...

maresie · maresie

So I heard today my last day at this present job is February 13th. But guess what I may have another job lined up as soon as this week. I just put it out there that I needed work and I may be able to go over to another department which is actually a lot nicer than the one I am in. I don't know I will get the same pa...

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Hi roommates. I read the messageboards with fear in my heart for the future, and sadness for those suffering like me all because we love someone who drinks? I feel Like a dumb animal looking down the barrell of a gun. I can't get the guts to leave him, don't know if I want to or should, if I'm just in a bad mood...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The A has moved into a halfway house. I wish he would go back to jail so I can file for divorce without having to pay extra or fight about custody/visitation. Then I feel guilty for wishing ill things on him just to benefit myself. He has been ringing my phone off the hook the past few days despite the res...

ddub · ddub

Detachment is an effective tool to step back from the chaos and decide what is the best action for ourselves. It disables manipulation from A spouses/A children over time and makes the partners even more aware sometimes of the manipulation that has happened in the past and present. Alanoners st...

serendipity · serendipity

I wonder about this at times. I have felt that sometimes maybe I am too positive, too upbeat, seeing the glass WAY too full. Mostly because I was raised by the most negative woman on the planet. So, my optimism, my idea that there really is a silver lining was always laughed at and put down and I was made to f...

QOD · QOD

I have not posted in a long time. I have been checking on those I am familiar with but not felt compelled to post about me in some time. Well, I thought it was about time to post something upbeat!!! I am smiling more and more these days. And laughing too. Oh how good it feels to have something to smile abou...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Sick of being sick. I spend days coming here, reading and feeling and praying, and trying to support and give encouragement for I know how hard it is to keep putting one step in front of the other when life is hard; and then I come to the point of being utterly drained and tettering on the edge of a cliff of un...

Deb57 · Deb57

I came here to this chat room and exposed my "true self". Risky, but upon doing so, I opened a (new door) to the future. I came here seeking serenity, seeking a feeling of "I belong".."I do matter".. and in the few days I have been coming to this room to share, I find the re...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Dear AH, It's been almost 5 years since this horrible disease took you from me and our son. I miss you terribly. I used to think that we would be together forever and grow old together in happiness. Now I wonder when you will die. It sounds so extreme to even type such a thing, but it is real. You've accumula...

verenda · verenda

Really need some validation and opinions. AH and I had a terrible argument just a bit ago, now he has left to go to work. I need to know if what I said was wrong because he wrote me a letter before he left and said he did not think he needed to apologise. This is how it started; He asked me if I would check out a h...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I am struggling with this as I await responses from the 22 job applications that I sent out. It truly is out of my hands, but I should be hearing about interviews within the next 2 weeks. Let go, let God. Let go, let God.

omajoy · omajoy

Have worked as hard as I know how on detachment from my son's alcohol binges and subsequent bouts of depression at his failure at sobriety. The past ten days have been awful. His new knowledge of his EX having her lover move into the former family home with his son just broke him into a million little pi...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

...I get to go at my own pace. There are times I really surge ahead and there are times I need to take a step (or 20!!) backwards. This is Ok and this program acknowledges this. HP loves me regardless. Nothing is set in stone- everything is in guidelines. You do not have to do anything if you do not want to- it...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was reading the post about laughing and I have found myself doing it more and more. Here is one that gets me every time. I work in a building that has a state nutrition program for women and children and they have some of their promotional materials in the hall. They are these blocks that have pictures...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

My AH went to detox yesterday. The insurance only cover inpatient detox and outpatient treatment. He wanted to go to inpatient rehab but we can't afford it. When he left, i asked him what to tell his family (aunts, cousins, etc). His sister and son took him. I had to work so I couldn't be there. But...

CJC · CJC

Hello all, it has been a while since I have been around, but that is my fault and believe me when I say I have paid the price. LOL... I have missed you all horribly; I am still attending my F2F meetings, but this place has been a God send between my meetings! Thanks to you all!! So here is an update on what has be...

Becky1 · Becky1

The saga continues. I went out with friends last night, got home at 1:12 am. While I was gone, my AH who HATES me and wants a divorce, and who hasn't touched, held, kissed, me in 4 weeks, and we haven't been "man and wife" for almost 2 months...called me about 8 times between 9 and 1. And sent 6 te...

Lookingforpeace · Lookingforpeace

Hi Everyone - I have not been on for a while and just wanted to give an update. The last time I posted was probably back in November. My husband had a seizure because of an OD of meds (the wrong blend...) and I was lost confused and scared. I pretty much went into what I call "survival mode". ...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

BY PERSONAL REQUEST FROM DEBILYN... this is the sequel to the AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM DONE IN, IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING... "TURN THE BATH TAPS OFF, THEN CALL THE FIREBRIGADE, AND THEN GET THE OTHER TORCH AND COME TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER TO SHINE THE TORCH FOR YOUR BROTHER, 'CO...

glad · glad

Okay, I'm new to the board so if this seems cheesy I'm sorry! I read a post of a list of things the person was angry with the AH about and it helped me so much to see that others struggle with some of the same issues I do, made me feel like I was not alone in my anger, sadness, and rejection (by the stupid beer not...

ddub · ddub

I do not like being a whiney wimp but I have lost touch with myself way more than I ever realized. You'd never know that I was in business mgmt prior to kids and have been at home mom now for 20 plus years. Feel like I'm a throw back to the 50's.....yuck!! I read Kisser's post about the female partner of the A...

grateful · grateful

Hello everyone, I'm having some confusion about working the program, anger, best way for me to deal with it. I've read the previous post on anger, and I have to admit I am pretty angry with my ah (we are seperated for the last 6 months) for all my family has gone through. But I do not like to live like this, e...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) It has occured to me that, as I use the slogans in my daily life, there is one I am living by more and more... "HOW IMPORTANT IS IT" When I am tempted to take another persons Inventory, when someone has done something to me, or made a comment. My past behav...

kissers · kissers

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/Female_Partner_Alcoholic.html

Becky1 · Becky1

Last night I was at Walmart, got 3 phone calls from hubby, never mind he is NEVER home by 7pm, and it was 6:45. He gets off work @ 3 and is usually drinking at his buddy's house across the street until 7 or 8. Anyway, I guess since I have gotten so good at detaching, he keeps trying to attach himself to ME! I got...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Well, my kids just left for their first weekend with their dad. Not sure how I feel about it. I feel sadness in that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. I feel anger that my ah is acting so nice, but is really just an a**. Lastly, I feel guilty in that I feel some relief in knowing I can have some time to mys...

tma0413 · tma0413

Ok, it's been 3 weeks since AH got a OWI on the snowmobile...so tonight he calls and 'asks' if I mind if he goes out snowmobiling tonight?? I tell him "it's not my choice, I don't care." He comes home from work and starts getting ready it's all to obvious that I have an attitude...but I tell hi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Suggestions for fun? (Preview) I have come to realize I need a life outside of trying to "fix" the one I have so at 41 living near a big city (Dallas) I need some good clean suggestions of ways to have fun and meet people, mostly women since I am in a committed relationship but just have no social life of my own. Like most here my...	glad	11	525	Feb 2, 2008 by Diva
	Feeling frustrated irritated and confused! (Preview) My A got out of jail about 2 weeks ago and went into a recovery house. Now he's in an apartment with a guy he is working for. He has a job, a home and says he is going to meetings, etc. My agenda was to file for divorce while he was in jail so I can have it go cheaply and smoothly without a custody/visitation fig...	carolinagirl	14	746	Feb 2, 2008 by Jen
	Laughter and fun (Preview) It's been nearly two months since my A cut off our (long distance) relationship to get his head in the program. At about the same time, I broke off ties with my (long distance) father (and he with me)....... but that's another story. In these past two months, I've spent a lot of time in introspection an...	round3	9	599	Feb 2, 2008 by round3
	Three views of alanon (Preview) Does anybody have a copy of the "Three views of alanon" pamphlet handy? I'm looking for the bit in "Letter from the alcoholic" that talks about love not being able to exist without justice. Just need to those few sentences.	lin0606	9	6363	Feb 2, 2008 by lin0606
	Inferiority (Preview) I know in my case my A seems to think I am inferior to him because I still care about him so much when he illustrates so clearly how little he is able to care for me. I've read other posts where this is talked about. Do you think this is true just for A's or do you think all people see others who unconditionall...	Codependent	5	517	Feb 2, 2008 by lin0606
	Please share...recovering alcoholic and distrust (Preview) Would you be willing to share your experiences with a recovering alcoholic and distrust? To say I am feeling cautious, might be understating my feelings. I'm not sure he is ready to hear the full truth of my feelings. Now that he has chosen to turn back to his HP for assistance and turn back to our marr...	Alicia	5	1468	Feb 2, 2008 by debilyn
	Insanity versus Irrationality (Preview) ...in the chaos and ashes of despair a Pheonix has risen, and this in itself has caused me to stop and celebrate a new day, a new dawn, and a new understanding of ME as I am TODAY. Whilst sitting in my study preparing for my time of daily contemplation and prayer, I wrote three words down on my note pad: Insan...	Heartbroken	1	410	Feb 2, 2008 by debilyn
	February Business Meeting (Preview) (((((Family))))) This Sunday was to have been the day for our next monthly business meeting in the chat room. However! This also happens to be Superbowl Sunday..!! I will be unavailable to chair the business meeting because of this and so I am rescheduling the Feb Business meeting for the following...	david62	1	382	Feb 2, 2008 by Karilynn
	New and Confused (Preview) This is my first time visiting this forum. I have been concerned about my husband's drinking for quite some time now. My husband and I have had many discussions about his drinking and he promises me that he doesn't have a problem. However, this afternoon I found an empy bottle of vodka in his closet a...	Antigua	6	658	Feb 1, 2008 by nmike
	A HUGE BIG THANK YOU... (Preview) Thank you to everyone who set me on my feet again and supported me through my fear. ((((((((((((xxxxxxxxxxxxxx)))))))))))) I have been looking for something to say that would absolutely express the gratitude I have felt and the love that has been wrapped around me and the prayers that have been offe...	Heartbroken	2	351	Feb 1, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	"too" detatched (Preview) Hi all, I've been away for too long, funny how you get so busy living your life and caring for others you forget about yourself. I have a question with regard to detatchment. I have become so "detatched" that I feel I have closed myself off not only to my A hubby, but to the rest of my family and fr...	bcanuck	4	504	Feb 1, 2008 by debilyn
	Detachment (Preview) I am so new to even trying to figure lots of things out. When I read about how some people had detached from their spouse I really thought it was wrong. Till death do us part, love unconditionally etc. Well I almost lost my mind this week. I have really bad migraines... like almost deadly feeling. Doctor...	glad	5	487	Feb 1, 2008 by cookie1971
	irritated (Preview) I am not sure but I am more angry with myself for not being able to move on and do anything. I fight so hard against feeling crazy and sometimes it almost feels easier to just ride the slide into the darkness. I don't have much fight left in me anymore and a lot of my problem is me probably. Everything about...	ddub	6	684	Feb 1, 2008 by Jean4444
	Letting Go (Preview) My ex A begged for me to take him back. I told him I thought he had a drinking problem and he disagreed. I knew he would, but that is really not the point. It wasn't so much the drinking that bothered me. It was the name calling, put downs, expecting me to do all the work, blaming me, ignoring me. I have friends...	kissers	4	378	Feb 1, 2008 by Maria123
	What is it like for you? (Preview) For me I don't battle the "partying". I battle emotional distance during drinking and when he's not, more when he is. When I try to talk to him he sometimes makes jokes about women vs. men and emotional connection but it's so much more than the normal issues like that. How much of my wants are...	glad	5	553	Feb 1, 2008 by maresie
	Does he not love his family?? (Preview) I am struggling today....AH had made a new years resolution to slow down on his drinking (his choice)...OK...so that was a month ago and Yeah, he has slowed way down...but there has still been the nights (at least 1-2 a week) where he is annoyingly drunk. Not fall down drunk, but enough to annoy me (usu...	tma0413	10	771	Feb 1, 2008 by Pugluver
	Does the recovered A always know best?.... (Preview) hello all. i am relatively new here and i haven't really posted much. i am married to a recoverd A for seven years. we are in the process of getting a divorce. still living together, still doing some things together and still care for each other. the issue is him. he has been sober for 19 years. but h...	donnarock	7	677	Feb 1, 2008 by Karilynn
	This may be a question for NA... (Preview) I think I have mentioned before that I have used with my A. I never had before prior to our relationship. However, I have also used some periodically without him- alot of my feelings involving my guilt with using I believe is also associated with my anxiety over using with him. Anyway, when we had our...	Codependent	7	684	Feb 1, 2008 by Jerry F
	victim super martyr (Preview) One reason I find myself so stressed out is that I can now see fully in technicolor how easiy I fall into the role of victim super martyr. I found myself wanting to go into work early and rescue everyone and be "liked" because I feel like a fish out of water being assertive and focused on my job se...	maresie	5	663	Feb 1, 2008 by Jerry F
	I AM IN SHOCK (Preview) Dear Family, I feel that my job may be in jeopardy. This is scaring me to death. I work in a chain drug store as a pharmacist. Each store has 2 pharmacists. My former partner was promoted, and has now become my supervisor. When she was my partner, we had some disagreements and she ended up being transferr...	cookie1971	10	787	Feb 1, 2008 by Jerry F
	compassion (Preview) What is the oppisite of being compassionate? I believe I am being Un-compassionate as a coping mechanism. I feel like I am trying to stay frozen all the time so that I don't have to feel the pain or anymore pain than I have already felt. I feel like I am turning into a loveless person. I don't want to be this...	serendipity	4	665	Jan 31, 2008 by Jerry F
	What others think of me is none of my business....Oh really???? (Preview) I see it stated time and time again..."What others think of me is none of my business." I don't have to care what others think of me, but it IS my business, and here's why: If I don't know what others think, don't listen to what others think, and otherwise consider it "none of my business,...	Diva	20	4790	Jan 31, 2008 by norwood
	new here (Preview) Hello, I am new here. I am not sure what I am even doing. I know my drinking habits are far from normal and I feel they have gotten much worse in the past few months. I went from going out occassionally after I had my daughter, to going out every weekend, sometimes more than once. We don't even have the money f...	justonemore	5	426	Jan 31, 2008 by abbyal
	The last 24 hours...would welcome your feedback... (Preview) ...however before I say anything further, I want to thank all of you who responded to me, one way or another, on my last post. I have appreciated every word that you have communicated to me. I have spent hours reading and rereading and contemplating each word, the hard facts, the questions, the truth...	Heartbroken	12	667	Jan 31, 2008 by round3
	more on stress overload (Preview) Just a big big big thank you for all your prayers and well wishes. I went to bed last night at 8:00 p.m. I slept straight through till 4:00 a.m. I felt rested and the stress attack was over. I am back on track with a phone interview this afternoon. I have a in person interview tomorrow. I am just going to k...	maresie	2	416	Jan 31, 2008 by maresie
	22 years (Preview) An Al-Anon friend of mine just got a coin for 22 years in this program today. She is so excited. Her sponsor sent it to her in the mail because our tiny small town groups don't even have coins yet. She has shown and amazing amount of growth esp in the last year in spite of odds stacked against her. She is an ins...	Jen	6	536	Jan 31, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Confession-Hoping you all won't be disappointed in me (Preview) So, don't read this if you won't to be inspired because unfortunately I seem to have back slid and may still be in the slide. I called the A for my birthday and took him out. We went to dinner and to hotel with hot tub. Spent a fortune. We talked about a lot of things and I "fell" in again- saw hi...	Codependent	18	760	Jan 31, 2008 by Codependent
	Logged in tonight to quit (Preview) ...feel I HAVE taken one step forward and ended up ten steps backward. ...feeling that the last four months have been a too much too fast. ...thinking that I no longer know what I believe. ...hoping that I have been able to give something back for the love and concern and support that I have received. ......	Heartbroken	16	797	Jan 31, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Help me to SHUT UP! MY (Preview) I just got news that my 18 year old niece is getting married in August. UGH, I feel flabbergasted!! She is really young and immature and has barely one year of community college past high school. She just found out she did not get into the nursing program at the community college she is attending becau...	Jean4444	12	819	Jan 30, 2008 by nmike
	place for me? (Preview) I have been struggling for so long and I still am not sure this is the place for me. My husband is an alcoholic that is true. His father was one, his brothers are alcoholics and so on. His drinking has slowly corroded our marriage. The reason why I don't know if this is the place for me is that there is so mu...	twain91	3	600	Jan 30, 2008 by lin0606
	stressed to the max (Preview) For a number of reasons, my health, my income, my home, my lack of support, my job, my commute, my health my stress level is now completely off the charts. I would ask for prayers from you all. I am so absolutely totally wiped out. Maresie	maresie	2	353	Jan 30, 2008 by maresie
	Health issues (Preview) As you all know I live in a place where I am constantly intruded up on by other people who live in the house. Last night this one person knocked on my door twice to ask me some stupid question about the laundry. I have put notes on my door to say do not knock and she rips them off. This other person who is a tota...	maresie	4	568	Jan 30, 2008 by maresie
	Is it possible to communicate while detached? (Preview) I am working really hard on keeping my emotions level - not falling to putty when AH is husband of the week and not blowing smoke out of my ears when he pulls the latest stunt. Detachment has been essential. For someone, like my AH, who is used to being the focus of attention, this is killing him. He's an...	optimistundone	7	516	Jan 29, 2008 by lin0606
	HP working in my life ! (Preview) So I heard today my last day at this present job is February 13th. But guess what I may have another job lined up as soon as this week. I just put it out there that I needed work and I may be able to go over to another department which is actually a lot nicer than the one I am in. I don't know I will get the same pa...	maresie	8	717	Jan 29, 2008 by maresie
	prisoner (Preview) Hi roommates. I read the messageboards with fear in my heart for the future, and sadness for those suffering like me all because we love someone who drinks? I feel Like a dumb animal looking down the barrell of a gun. I can't get the guts to leave him, don't know if I want to or should, if I'm just in a bad mood...	silverbrumby	5	587	Jan 29, 2008 by tma0413
	Update (Preview) The A has moved into a halfway house. I wish he would go back to jail so I can file for divorce without having to pay extra or fight about custody/visitation. Then I feel guilty for wishing ill things on him just to benefit myself. He has been ringing my phone off the hook the past few days despite the res...	carolinagirl	3	551	Jan 29, 2008 by serendipity
	detachment and manipulation (Preview) Detachment is an effective tool to step back from the chaos and decide what is the best action for ourselves. It disables manipulation from A spouses/A children over time and makes the partners even more aware sometimes of the manipulation that has happened in the past and present. Alanoners st...	ddub	5	2400	Jan 29, 2008 by barisax
	The Pollyanna effect (Preview) I wonder about this at times. I have felt that sometimes maybe I am too positive, too upbeat, seeing the glass WAY too full. Mostly because I was raised by the most negative woman on the planet. So, my optimism, my idea that there really is a silver lining was always laughed at and put down and I was made to f...	serendipity	4	596	Jan 29, 2008 by tiredtonite
	Smiling more and more (Preview) I have not posted in a long time. I have been checking on those I am familiar with but not felt compelled to post about me in some time. Well, I thought it was about time to post something upbeat!!! I am smiling more and more these days. And laughing too. Oh how good it feels to have something to smile abou...	QOD	2	506	Jan 29, 2008 by carolinagirl
	AAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH (Preview) Sick of being sick. I spend days coming here, reading and feeling and praying, and trying to support and give encouragement for I know how hard it is to keep putting one step in front of the other when life is hard; and then I come to the point of being utterly drained and tettering on the edge of a cliff of un...	Heartbroken	9	748	Jan 29, 2008 by fairee
	True Self (Preview) I came here to this chat room and exposed my "true self". Risky, but upon doing so, I opened a (new door) to the future. I came here seeking serenity, seeking a feeling of "I belong".."I do matter".. and in the few days I have been coming to this room to share, I find the re...	Deb57	5	487	Jan 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	A Letter to My AH (and my HP) (Preview) Dear AH, It's been almost 5 years since this horrible disease took you from me and our son. I miss you terribly. I used to think that we would be together forever and grow old together in happiness. Now I wonder when you will die. It sounds so extreme to even type such a thing, but it is real. You've accumula...	Rocky38	2	721	Jan 29, 2008 by Jerry F
	Was I wrong? (Preview) Really need some validation and opinions. AH and I had a terrible argument just a bit ago, now he has left to go to work. I need to know if what I said was wrong because he wrote me a letter before he left and said he did not think he needed to apologise. This is how it started; He asked me if I would check out a h...	verenda	7	500	Jan 29, 2008 by Jerry F
	Let Go, Let God (Preview) I am struggling with this as I await responses from the 22 job applications that I sent out. It truly is out of my hands, but I should be hearing about interviews within the next 2 weeks. Let go, let God. Let go, let God.	optimistundone	3	649	Jan 28, 2008 by glad lee
	is this a mistake?? (Preview) Have worked as hard as I know how on detachment from my son's alcohol binges and subsequent bouts of depression at his failure at sobriety. The past ten days have been awful. His new knowledge of his EX having her lover move into the former family home with his son just broke him into a million little pi...	omajoy	4	709	Jan 28, 2008 by lmw
	What I love about this program... (Preview) ...I get to go at my own pace. There are times I really surge ahead and there are times I need to take a step (or 20!!) backwards. This is Ok and this program acknowledges this. HP loves me regardless. Nothing is set in stone- everything is in guidelines. You do not have to do anything if you do not want to- it...	Jean4444	6	676	Jan 28, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Little funny for the day. (Preview) I was reading the post about laughing and I have found myself doing it more and more. Here is one that gets me every time. I work in a building that has a state nutrition program for women and children and they have some of their promotional materials in the hall. They are these blocks that have pictures...	carolinagirl	6	641	Jan 28, 2008 by QOD
	Dealing with Addiction-Riddled In Laws (Preview) My AH went to detox yesterday. The insurance only cover inpatient detox and outpatient treatment. He wanted to go to inpatient rehab but we can't afford it. When he left, i asked him what to tell his family (aunts, cousins, etc). His sister and son took him. I had to work so I couldn't be there. But...	Lost but still trying	3	764	Jan 28, 2008 by Jerry F
	Been a while...just taking it one day at a time (Preview) Hello all, it has been a while since I have been around, but that is my fault and believe me when I say I have paid the price. LOL... I have missed you all horribly; I am still attending my F2F meetings, but this place has been a God send between my meetings! Thanks to you all!! So here is an update on what has be...	CJC	3	651	Jan 28, 2008 by Jerry F
	Taking Back My Life (Preview) The saga continues. I went out with friends last night, got home at 1:12 am. While I was gone, my AH who HATES me and wants a divorce, and who hasn't touched, held, kissed, me in 4 weeks, and we haven't been "man and wife" for almost 2 months...called me about 8 times between 9 and 1. And sent 6 te...	Becky1	5	622	Jan 28, 2008 by maresie
	An Update (Preview) Hi Everyone - I have not been on for a while and just wanted to give an update. The last time I posted was probably back in November. My husband had a seizure because of an OD of meds (the wrong blend...) and I was lost confused and scared. I pretty much went into what I call "survival mode". ...	Lookingforpeace	1	318	Jan 28, 2008 by Heartbroken
	999 CALL ... HEALTH WARNING ... THIS WILL MAKE YOUR SIDES ACHE... (Preview) BY PERSONAL REQUEST FROM DEBILYN... this is the sequel to the AND THEN I WONDER WHY I AM DONE IN, IF YOU DON'T LAUGH YOU CRY, BUT I CRIED LAUGHING... "TURN THE BATH TAPS OFF, THEN CALL THE FIREBRIGADE, AND THEN GET THE OTHER TORCH AND COME TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER TO SHINE THE TORCH FOR YOUR BROTHER, 'CO...	Heartbroken	5	586	Jan 28, 2008 by david62
	I am thankful for... (Preview) Okay, I'm new to the board so if this seems cheesy I'm sorry! I read a post of a list of things the person was angry with the AH about and it helped me so much to see that others struggle with some of the same issues I do, made me feel like I was not alone in my anger, sadness, and rejection (by the stupid beer not...	glad	9	642	Jan 28, 2008 by kissers
	I have no clue (Preview) I do not like being a whiney wimp but I have lost touch with myself way more than I ever realized. You'd never know that I was in business mgmt prior to kids and have been at home mom now for 20 plus years. Feel like I'm a throw back to the 50's.....yuck!! I read Kisser's post about the female partner of the A...	ddub	5	748	Jan 28, 2008 by ddub
	confused (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm having some confusion about working the program, anger, best way for me to deal with it. I've read the previous post on anger, and I have to admit I am pretty angry with my ah (we are seperated for the last 6 months) for all my family has gone through. But I do not like to live like this, e...	grateful	3	324	Jan 27, 2008 by ddub
	SLOGANS (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) It has occured to me that, as I use the slogans in my daily life, there is one I am living by more and more... "HOW IMPORTANT IS IT" When I am tempted to take another persons Inventory, when someone has done something to me, or made a comment. My past behav...	ally	1	526	Jan 27, 2008 by Jean4444
	The Female Partner of the Alcoholic (Preview) http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/Female_Partner_Alcoholic.html	kissers	3	609	Jan 27, 2008 by SLS
	The Struggle (Preview) Last night I was at Walmart, got 3 phone calls from hubby, never mind he is NEVER home by 7pm, and it was 6:45. He gets off work @ 3 and is usually drinking at his buddy's house across the street until 7 or 8. Anyway, I guess since I have gotten so good at detaching, he keeps trying to attach himself to ME! I got...	Becky1	7	530	Jan 27, 2008 by Loupiness
	mixed feelings (Preview) Well, my kids just left for their first weekend with their dad. Not sure how I feel about it. I feel sadness in that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be. I feel anger that my ah is acting so nice, but is really just an a**. Lastly, I feel guilty in that I feel some relief in knowing I can have some time to mys...	Loupiness	4	602	Jan 27, 2008 by Loupiness
	How do I hide my feelings?? (Preview) Ok, it's been 3 weeks since AH got a OWI on the snowmobile...so tonight he calls and 'asks' if I mind if he goes out snowmobiling tonight?? I tell him "it's not my choice, I don't care." He comes home from work and starts getting ready it's all to obvious that I have an attitude...but I tell hi...	tma0413	10	756	Jan 27, 2008 by glad
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.