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Always stuck at Step 2
(Preview)
I have been in Al-Anon for 13 years but it seems that I never get beyond Step 2. My 41 year old son has been living with me since 2005 and been clean for most of the time. However, I should have seen it coming. In March he blew up, destroyed a chair, threw paint all over the kitchen, broke a window, cut him...
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Two Step
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6
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390
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Just a ramble.
(Preview)
Sigh. Well to start, I always thought of myself as an alcoholic. I was a binge drinker as a teenager, out of control in my twenties (I married another drinker and we drank and fought our way to divorce) and then at 30, I met a real hardcore drinker and started the whole drinking and fighting cycle again,...
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Melly1248
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7
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409
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I found a new awesome meeting Tuesday evenings
(Preview)
I have checked out a few options for meetings, but nothing has clicked until now and it was awesome. The meeting was just like my home group in my home town that I have been missing this last year. So I even took a great friend that has A's in her life and she loved it as well. So I feel pumped and with my month o...
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Breakingfree
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7
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165
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He is in hospital again
(Preview)
My ex is in the hospital again for suicide watch. Second time since Father's Day. Yes it's time to tell my kids what's going on. I am trying to get ahold of sons unit Chaplin first so he knows what's going on since I can't tell our son in person. Then I will tell our daughter (10) I am relieved ex is in hospital...
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4my2kids
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11
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445
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need to vent
(Preview)
Two weeks ago he was picked up and thrown in the drunk tank. He's not home yet tonight, supposed to be at work, last checked in three and a half hours ago hoping to be home soon. I tried calling him again, no answer, but then there wouldn't be if thick into work. I'm shaking, crying, maybe there's somethin...
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AngieK
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8
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289
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Cats
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone I have been up since about 2am because of the cats not getting along. I am now the keeper of my son's kitty Nisa. She's a great cat but having a hard time adjusting to her new home. I have 4 kitties ( Micky, Snickers, Gizzy and Ruby ). Two of them Micky and Snickers are not liking the...
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Cathyinaz
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11
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285
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Feeling lousey today
(Preview)
Coming back and facing me is not w/out its price to pay, but its better in that out my PTSD comes packaged w/ back spasms and the ibs that triggers off the screwed up nerve impulses to my back muscles. IBS is cyclical when I am working my program and staying with it, feeling better, more positive, my sympt...
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neshema2
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7
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249
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i guess that was a relapse on my path of recovery!
(Preview)
I told you here, as I told some of my friends that have always supported me, that I had let dry ABF move in with me 2 weeks ago, because I was so serene after my meditation course, and he said he was on the verge of change. It seemed full of hope, and I'm an optimist...(an a rescuer I'm afraid)...well it went ni...
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tortuga
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8
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324
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Treatment for AH
(Preview)
I know, I know!!! )) He should be the one seeking for his sobriety and recovery slutions. But still for my own knowledge)) Can somebody tell me where does the AH has to start if he decides to stop drinking? Is there a docotor to go? Is it covered by insurance? Is it only AA meetings or something else? If it i...
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Venera
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10
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312
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Advice
(Preview)
My husband is a functionong alcoholic and does not believe he has a problem. He displayes all the classic signs. To make a long story short and to get to the point, I have been reasearching places to live in order to move out of our home. I need advice on how to approach this with my husband. We have been goin...
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KJ211
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6
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268
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Al Alon check in
(Preview)
I'm grateful to be able to say there some hope.
I have been laying low for a bit. Getting to my meetings and living in the day to the best I can .
5 months in al Alon and I'm on step 3 .. It's taking me a while to accept and understand that I'm powerless over the alcohol , I get it.
My children come home Tuesday a...
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Ms co-dependent
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9
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1574
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Telling my A to grow up & take responsibility
(Preview)
Well, I see that telling my 37 yr old A sister HOW I think she should 'be' (she's 6 weeks sober) in making a life for herself, or to do ANYTHING more than she has in the past, or taking steps FINALLY to learn how to work towards the path of self sufficiency - falls under the umbrella of MY issues. Why can't I be m...
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JDL
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9
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497
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One Day at a Time....and Step One
(Preview)
Hi Everybody: As the summer is unfolding and life as a separated woman is presenting itself to me, I have days that most certainly feel like moving forward, positive, and some that feel like steps back. I'm working hard to try and understand step one and what it means for me, some days I really struggle...
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yanksfan51
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6
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369
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meaning what I say .
(Preview)
Lately two people on my horizon have been triggering me tremendously. I am sure these people just show up in my life to teach me various lessons because they certainly just pop up outta nowhere all the time. But oh how much I would like to make it all about "them" and not me. When I lived or ra...
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orchidlover
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8
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347
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Happy!))
(Preview)
I feel happy! This is so ironic! I am living the situation which in my thoughts would be a nightmare if I knew this was coming, but I actually feel good. Long story short. I live with my AH for 9 years, we have 2 kids, pregnant with the 3rd one. His sickness has been progressing especially this year. At this m...
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Venera
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7
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485
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Off my game today
(Preview)
I'm off my game today. Wanting to stay home and not go to work. Was blindsided yesterday by a peer. Struggling to find my part in it since I'm not sure what prompted this person's behavior. My own behavior and self-talk led to a sleepless night although I did what I could to work the program. The per...
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grateful2be
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21
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464
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Cleaning up
(Preview)
I'm trying to clean up 5 fires that STBAX has left me to deal with .. his attitude has always been .. fire what fire (to the pretend fireman in my head) go to the other house as ours is burning to the ground and I'm running around shouting fire fire fire! LOL. It's a mess and I'm in fix it mode. This is where I h...
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Pushka
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3
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287
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24 hours later ..
(Preview)
Things certainly can take a huge change in just 24 hours .. it's why I'm learning not to make any rash decisions and just wait until whatever I'm feeling emotionally passes and I can take a look at something in a more detached way. When in doubt don't .. and that qualifies for me to mean when any kind of em...
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Pushka
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5
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498
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I can & will!
(Preview)
So, I am posting a crazy post--not me my mom. I am very well thankfully just a little stressed. My mom belongs in a psychiatric ward as she is behaving what we call manicky & having an episode. She is not drinking. I just hope some way that she will get help soon. I am trying to keep it together--I can &am...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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135
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Day 1 at the new job
(Preview)
It was interesting for sure. Found out I am working in inpatient residential rehab and not PHP. Most of the residents seem very young as I expected. There was some discussion about rebuilding trust with families and how to deal with stressors with family when they go home. We discussed alanon and...
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pinkchip
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14
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352
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So much to learn
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone Wow was I a basket case or what. I'm taking it as a new learning experience that my son is no different than anyone else out there. Yeah...I knew he could and would manipulate me but to the extent that I now see. Boy what an eye opener! He will do ANYTHING to get what he needs and a...
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Cathyinaz
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10
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411
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Help! NEED advice on how to TELL him about divorce
(Preview)
Hi, your board is so helpful and I have read it for many years for advice. Now I need some serious help. After almost 29 years of lying about his secretive binge drinking, I am done with my husband. I'm ready to divorce him and have seen a lawyer who is drawing up papers right now. I will try to be as fair as pos...
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1984Thru
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5
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298
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a poem by Virginia Wolfe
(Preview)
"The Beauty of the world has two edges, One of Laughter, One of Anguish, Cutting the heart asunder."
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Bettina
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5
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303
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another post to update further.
(Preview)
I am anxious. I am sad but at least I don't have the problems my mom has now. She filed a complaint against my husband & said she would stop it but didn't she is going further away from the truth & it scares me & my husband too. I hope she gets help. I love her but sometimes like now I don't like her o...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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160
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I'm new to this site....
(Preview)
I'm new to this site. I've known about Alanon for a long time but thought it wasn't for me. Well my husband of 28 years,(we've been together since we were 18) just left me 7 weeks ago. Our relationship that produced two boys to be proud of of 17 and 21 came to an end. His father was an alcoholic and so is he...
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magazine
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8
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287
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the GLITCH
(Preview)
Hi guys John pm'd me re: our "glitch" like when you try to start a new post, it says you don't have permission. John is contacting the Admin. side of the forum to get this fixed, in case any of you are being blocked from starting a new topic Thanks...Yesterday it was on and off, and John got bloc...
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neshema2
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4
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202
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Book for AH
(Preview)
Guys, is there a good book to give my AH to read? And what is the best way to give him? Thanks!
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Venera
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8
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497
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short and simple about detachment
(Preview)
I can so relate to this....This hammers home that I can only change, take care of me....as to accepting or walking away???? Why would I accept constant disrespect....If for some reason I cannot walk away physically, I sure can "cut em off" in my head....detach...walk away in my head, If I...
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neshema2
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5
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373
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Mahalo and ((((Hugs))))...
(Preview)
I am still working on the ESH you all sent in response to my post...mind, body, spirit and emotions. I'm doing with your mana`o (ESH in Hawaiian) what I've always done...don't react relax and take it slow. I get more from it in time. I already have. Just wanted to say mahalo before going to work. E...
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Jerry F
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13
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357
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Opposite sex recovery friends
(Preview)
I don't post much, but I love to come here and read. My husband and I have gone round and round on this subject, and I was hoping for some insight. Do you have boundaries set with opposite sex friends in the program? What are they? Although recovery is about love and support, what I have understood is th...
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Breezie
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19
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4345
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I just threw everything away
(Preview)
Well it's Monday morning and I finally decided I should go to work. Don't stay home just because you made a big big mistake. This was a weekend from hell. I let my guard down and was hit right upside the head. I didn't go to meetings, I don't have a sponsor, I quit my counselor and woman's group and I qui...
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Cathyinaz
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21
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533
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is there a GLITCH????
(Preview)
On and off. I get this Message when I try to START a topic..."you don't currently have permission to post on this forum" or words to that affect I can post UNDER an EXISTING post, but cannot start... NOW I can start, but problem is intermittent and maybe global??? b/c on the acoa board it h...
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neshema2
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4
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231
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take off on Jerry's Thread
(Preview)
Reading Jerry's thread, I had a breakthrough..... OMG I cannot believe it....this program is a miracle.... I am reading the various posts about the "forgiveness" word and how giving up the hate/revenge/ill will/resentment, et al, only hurts me... I thought about all this....RE read...
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neshema2
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5
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373
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calling moms. . how to help children
(Preview)
hi all. you know my story. . mom to a only child who is nine, married 13 yrs to an adm alc but one who doesnt care to change. in steadfastly devoted to staying so i dont have to share custody and so i dont become yet another person in a very long line of people to turn away from my husband. he has no relationships...
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Theoceancalls
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12
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426
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feeling like giving up on him...
(Preview)
I'm so sick of the lies. And its not just about alcohol. Almost a year ago he gave up chewing tobacco. Recently I've been suspect that he started chewing again. So I ask. Calmly. To his face and lovingly. And I get no.... No ... No and no.
So I asked again yesterday because I had proof of spit stains on the ca...
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mama2nca
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9
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497
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The 6 day Journey to Me!
(Preview)
As Some Know Last week I Took a Trip on my Harley, and Traveled around abit, Not really knowing Where we were Goin, Or What we would see or where we would stay for that matter, I have to say, HP was GOOD! The Storms that were in the Area's we were, was all around us but by the Grace of God! We Stayed Dry, and when w...
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Jozie
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4
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368
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Trying to Let go and Let God
(Preview)
So not a simple task at this point, .. I'm angry .. LOL .. what a shock I know. Well, I'm not so much angry as I am disgusted, my compassion tank is not empty .. it's beyond empty. I even went to an AA meeting that I left early only because I didn't have one word that was nice to say at that point. I guess my ange...
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Pushka
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7
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329
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Relapse And Other Musings
(Preview)
Hi everyone, This is my first post here, and, boy, am I glad to have found this place. :) I've been actively going to Al-anon and ACA for about a year now in order to alleviate a persistent anxiety disorder. I feel like I have come very far in this time, having successfully fought off panic at...
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Turris
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7
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325
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Staying on my side of the street
(Preview)
Hi all. I've been checking in, work as been a bit crazy! I'm so thankful for Al-Anon, for the tools and slogans and having a safe place! So yesterday my AH and stepdaughter and I went to his parents for lunch. My MIL is the adult child of an abusive alcoholic father, she has 2 children, both are A's. I've now...
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Jackie11
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6
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666
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amazing day today.
(Preview)
Hey Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon Today was another beautiful day in Southern Ontario. This weekend I was able to catch up on some sleep and I was very well rested. Today I went for a walk on the lake as it was to beautiful to stay indoors. Later, I will prepare some sal...
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slogan_jim
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8
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296
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Ping Neshema: 'the illness'.
(Preview)
Hi Rose, and y'all... I wanted to talk about the illness- it came up on another thread but belongs here... to be honest as i cast my eyes across this board- as wave after wave of people come forward with their ESH. It is daunting, and raw... I admire those of you who respond day after day... I talk to stuff w...
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DavidG
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8
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401
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Mind, Body, Spirit and Emotions...
(Preview)
my early sponsorship worked me and had me practice understanding the disease and recovery on these levels. My elder sponsor gave me a serious caveat that I took as a warning the first time I heard it...it was said so seriously and I knew work on it was going to be higher learning. "Unless you ar...
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Jerry F
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12
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494
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Completely Lost Newbie Living with AW
(Preview)
I need a place to vent and to find people who understand. I suspect it is here. I live with a functional alcoholic woman. She's up to 5 bottles of wine a day. I've tried everything. Asking nicely and lovingly for her to stop. Expressing my fears for her health. Arguing. Even talking to her doctor (which se...
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Coach7227
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9
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4154
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My cousins 14 year old daughter died today
(Preview)
Whenever I get back home to California we see each other and catch up and my 15 year old sees her 14 year old second cousin Victoria. Well today I read on facebook from a family member that my cousins were in the Arizona desert riding 4 wheelers, which they often do in the summer and Victoria had an accide...
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Breakingfree
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20
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565
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Here with my Son
(Preview)
I made a big mistake having my son up here this weekend. Usually things go well but this time he is on something. Not alcohol.....think Librium. Just as screwed up in the head anyways. He will get upset very very easy so I'm having to step lightly. I wish I didn't put myself in this situation...dang....
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Cathyinaz
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31
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553
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Real World Suggestions For Strategies to Avoid Obsessing
(Preview)
As far as I've come in my program, I STILL struggle with this from time to time: unhealthy obsessing about other people, what they're doing, what their choices are, etc. If I was in AA, I would call any one of the dozens of people on my phone tree for real-time support and suggestions for re-focusing my e...
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stephaniej
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11
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285
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Alcoholism as a disease
(Preview)
Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend/colleague that opened my eyes a bit. Her mother was diagnosed two years ago with a serious blood disorder, and during that time the entire family has been deeply affected by the disease. When the diagnosis first came, I remember my friend and I were traveli...
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ParisMemories
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6
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373
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Help me find patience
(Preview)
My AH has been very depressed lately. A good friend of his passed away the other day and that along with our marriage issues, I think is bringing him down. I went in to the bedroom to speak to him, just asking how his day was going and asking him if there are any funeral plans yet. He wouldn't even make eye...
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ilovedogs
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11
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333
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The epitome of denial brings laughter
(Preview)
I know I'm chatty lately. I also know this really isn't alcoholism related, but it is related to denial that we talk so much about. I just watched a TV clip on a bank robbery. The bank is full of customers. A man approaches a teller with tree branches duct-taped to his head. Demands money. No custo...
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grateful2be
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14
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425
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So when are you going to quit?
(Preview)
My friend asked me and I responded "How do I look"? He took another look and said "You always look good...and healthy" which caused me to smile and reply..."then I can keep on going huh"? He laughed and went away. Today wasn't one of those keep on going days...PT...
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Jerry F
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16
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479
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The nightmares are back
(Preview)
... and I guess they aren't going to go away until I take my power back. I'm either being abandoned, banished or terrorized in the dreams. What we don't resolve in daylight haunts us through the night? I don't know. I have so much going on and I feel like I'm dangling from a thin branch sticking out of a...
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tiredtonite
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6
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347
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I'm frustrated!
(Preview)
My alcoholic has been sober for 18 months. He doesn't miss a meeting. He left the house tonight at 5:30 and will attend 3 meetings tonight! However, he can't seem to get motivated to find a job or do chores around the house. When I try to talk to him about our financial situation and that bills are pil...
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thistooshallpass
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6
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252
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A dream
(Preview)
As you know, I'm planning on retiring in the new year from a work that was fascinating to me although often incredibly difficult and painful. This year, I am slowly saying goodbye to the people and to the location of the work - both interiorly and exteriorly - when appropriate. Last night I had a dream th...
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grateful2be
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10
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294
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Mr. Bunny
(Preview)
I was cleaning out my bedroom and ran into an OLD and DEARLY loved friend!!! His name is Mr. Bunny....Here is his story... I was 15 and walking down this path at the Cape Cod, Massachusetts summer home we had and i found this UGLY bunny rabbit...he was BUTT ugly.. head was not ripped off but wobbly, dirt...
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neshema2
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3
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224
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MY LETTER TO MY SON I HAVE TO READ TO HIM NEXT WEEK
(Preview)
Letter to ALCOHOLIC SON ~ a draft any suggestions are welcome first and foremost I want you to know I love you very much. I do hope one day you know how deeply a parents love is for their child. How did we get here, how much pain has been suffered in 6 years. Since you have been getting help I learned that you we...
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FAITH1988
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26
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439
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update on myself and prayers for my AM please
(Preview)
hi everyone! I haven't been on here in quite a while due to working a lot and taking a summer Statistics class for the second time. It's challenging but I'm understanding the material much better. Work has been a bit of a challenge as of late... I'm learning the importance of time management. It's a bit f...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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4
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147
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getting whole again!
(Preview)
Hopefully wholeness will come sooner than later! I am excited about getting it together again. I am making it through summer w/o any more incidents. It is a warm but wonderful day. Anything is possible. My husband is mellowing out about my mother. He decided that we should forgive those that trespass...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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194
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Dealing with Friends and Family
(Preview)
I have been struggling with the issue of what to say to friends and family lately. My AH and I have been married for 20 years. It has taken most of that time to understand that he is, and has been for all of that time, a highly functional alcoholic. We separated 6 months ago, with AH still denying that his...
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norasq
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13
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421
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STEP 9
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54478468/alanon-step-9/
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hotrod
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0
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157
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Where is the Serenity?
(Preview)
I can't seem to find it. Yesterday was the date I moved out two months ago from my husband. I have never felt so low. I have never felt so sad. We talk maybe twice a month. He says he wants to fix it, and then does nothing to fix it. I told him to make a counseling appointment. He said in a couple months. I said no,...
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Blanche
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13
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381
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