Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

LizzieAmanda · LizzieAmanda

Hi everyone. I'm engaged to an alcoholic who hasn't drank in the year and a half that I have known him. We have been in an argument for about a day or so and I found him tonight on our apartment rooftop lounge drinking and very upset. I finally got him to come back down to our apartment. I didn't know what to do...

jml2424 · jml2424

hello. i'm very new to al-anon, but grateful i've found this organization. i went to my 6th meeting today. afterwards, a woman beside me started to chit chat with me. she started off friendly and welcomed me to the group, but then started asking personal questions. she asked my profession and i said i h...

e_i_m · e_i_m

At my wonderful home group meeting tonight, a member shared something that someone else shared with him (he is in recovery from cancer, and this came from a fellow cancer survivor): "eat the cake, take the trip, buy the shoes" -- meaning, he said, "care for yourself extravagantly because no one else w...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

My ex sister in law called trying to get me to fix this. She's also an Alcoholic and played a role in creating this mess. I told her don't call me. Don't talk to me. Alcoholic brother is being taken care of. He actually called me from rehab center. He saw a priest, he had asked me for one a few weeks ago. G...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I didn't know my brother was using alcohol. He hid it from us. He lives in another town and would call me daily, but he wouldn't allow me to go see him. He would call and cancel all the time at last minute. The last time he came to visit my mom was 4 years ago. I saw him 1 year ago and he looked okay. I am not use...

DavidG · DavidG

My old sponsor quit Alanon a few years ago... ah decided that i wanted to remain a lifetime member. I have joined another fellowship, one that grew out of Alanon, AA and Alateen. This is a new fellowship- which one day, in years to come, I hope will join the family of 12 step groups. I have done the steps o...

Sportgear · Sportgear

There are many sponsors who tell there sponsees to separate completely from their loved one to put their own interest before the alcoholics needs. This is ONLY true when the alcoholic is ruining your life and not meant to destroy the relationship. So many are taking this way too far. MY brother never a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading today talks about the gift, joy and need for sponsorship. Most of us have a huge need to be heard when we first arrive. Al-Anon provides a safe place to share and we often crave this as well as the attention. While the newcomer is critically important to the meeting, the well-being of the g...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

went for routine checkup, all is well. However my doctor who is a orthodox jew and knows im jewish,starts telling me things. He says, dont u know hp is watching over u and you are not alone even though u feel alone sometimes ? Then he says, i recomend u buy a mezuzah[which is a decorative item filled with pr...

Fooled · Fooled

Ever since the incident with the money taken out of my wallet I have been a little stuck, I guess. I don't know what to call it, I cant really describe it.... I know Im a little off kilter since the 9 month infant foster child of my neighbors that I babysit is currently in a hospital on a ventilator and in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So all I really have to post is !last night I got a call. It was from the office who I am seeing from medical. She said my A1C was low enough that I don't have diabetes. My dad had it & my husband had it so you can only imagine how nervous I was. Anyhow I am grateful that I am doing OK.

sarahGee · sarahGee

Let me preface this by saying I am NOT dating or seeking a relationship - I know I'm no where near ready to identify a good man, or be a good partner to one. I have an art gallery. There is a gentleman that comes in once in a while to look around. I learned later that he does so because he enjoys my company more t...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I am so scared... I really thought there was some hope. They are going to give him this medication to get ammonia out of his brain. If it works, he's going home to die. Hospice has been called. OMG I never thought I would see this.

Lucy125 · Lucy125

My husband and two kids and my elderly mom are all I have now. My brother and his family are gone. How do I cope with this?

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Step 2 was once paraphrased as: "First I came, then I "came to", then I came to believe." Today's reading contains a description of how the program works for some, particularly Step 2. No miracles necessary initially, just get to a meeting, involve yourself, look for and ask for guidance, and remain o...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

I'm having a hard time today keeping thoughts and conversations surrounding my ex ABF away. I got a call today from one of his friends checking to see if I had heard from him. Although I would have liked to just ignored the call I did not. I knew why he would have been calling as soon as I got the call as that's...

milkwood · milkwood

The past week has been challenging here in Italy with powerful earthquakes and a lot of disruption for thousands of people in our neighbourhood. Apparently we have had 700 aftershocks in the past two days alone, and I would guess that about half of those are felt. They are instant reminders of the thr...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

My bf is home from rehab and is doing well. He seems to have accepted aa and all it is he must continue to do, which for him, is amazing. When he went in he was so against the whole idea of aa, the "cult" aspect and the references to god etc. but he is going to his meetings, doing his outpatient therapy, meditat...

LinSC · LinSC

Not quite sure. I have probably experienced it, but couldnt put a name to it. thanks linsc

Bananasandcustard · Bananasandcustard

Hi, I am a mum of 5. My mum and dad died when I was younger. My mum was an alcoholic. I have a drinking problem. Help! Need someone to talk to

Fooled · Fooled

Need some ESH for being Gaslighted. On the way to church yesterday my RAH saw me frantically searching through my wallet for my cash for the envelope. It wasn't there! I tore apart my pocketbook, looked in every nook and cranny of my hiding spots. Not there! I announced to him that my money wa...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH says he has nothing to hide and all I ever had to do was ask. He shares the password for his laptop. Of course his emails received were deleted but the sent mails were not. He emailing to meet women before and during rehab. One he even asked if he could meet her the same night. This man just said to me on the p...

joker · joker

I am still so numb and angry. The AFB went and got drunk. Expected that. He was sober for 3 months. He just went and got drunk Saterday night. Then he phoned his ex-wife who was happy to pick him up and he was gone all night till 8 am with her. I am numb and angry that he would just take off with his ex-wife and spe...

sarahGee · sarahGee

We are non denominational - - But who doesn't love puppies in costume. This is my 15 week old American Bulldog puppy, Dottie. -- Edited by sarahGee on Monday 31st of October 2016 11:31:16 PM

Cammi45 · Cammi45

Hello. A while ago some wonderful people posted about literature that may be helpful to me. I wrote down the names of those books, but I wanted some advice on maybe one good one in particular to start with. One, How Alanon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics, stood out to me. Would this one...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- and thank you for all the well wishes regarding my move. We are starting to get settled and the whole house is calming down after a stressful end-of-summer and fall!! This reading is about how it may be possible to hear what is difficult for us to hear directly from family member...

Tinyhouse · Tinyhouse

I posted once before, in July when I was hoping things with my husband of 20 years would be fixed. Well, they didn't change and in August I filed for divorce and moved out. I felt pushed into it by him. Even after moving, I still hoped for him to "get it" and make changes. Instead, he continued drinking, sta...

lookingup · lookingup

Being careing ,having compassion for a loved one are great assets to have within us,it's when my careing and compassion goes over board to the extremes of putting me in harms way that also builds resentments in me towards my qaulifiers, ive never been able to not take it to the extremes of how to just be...

Emma123 · Emma123

Recently I have developed a crush on a man I know. The intensity of this infatuation has taken me by surprise. Didn't expect to feel like this again. I'm still living with ah partner so its highly unlikely anything can happen with this man, even if he was interested. I find myself spending too much time...

SaraLin · SaraLin

I had my first al-anon meeting last night - I found it hard to control my emotions & found myself tearfully explaining my situation to a group of people I had only just met. I don't even think I articulated it very well as I was sobbing. I feel embarrassed now & scared to go back. I could just pictur...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

So, one is white knuckling semi-sobriety. Refuses meetings after going to one a week ago. Still smoking pot, but very little. The other twin has his first pre-trial probation check tomorrow and he's AWOL. Left the house today at 2pm and no one has seen him since. He is with a friend and the friend has bee...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I was told in my f2f meetings that I should do my fourth step with a sponsor. I don't have a sponsor, and I don't think I'll have one for a long while because I can only get to meetings once a week. It's difficult to get to know people in such a large group, with only an hour to engage and short snippits of thoug...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

My brother has terminal cirrhosis or so they tell me. When I spoke to doctor, she said she didn't know how bad it was only time would tell. He might eventually need liver transplant. One of my relatives said: you should give your brother a living donor liver transplant from yourself. After everythi...

Dis-Ease91 · Dis-Ease91

Hello, I hope it is okay I am posting this. I am a recovering alcoholic with 2 children and a wife who has been going through the good, bad and worse for a long time. I have been a freight train that has moved through her life and my children's life destroying anything that would resemble stability. I have b...

sarahGee · sarahGee

It is so true. Turning to Al Anon, weather it's your CAL, listening to conference talks, going to a meeting or reaching out to others in the program, does help center you. I'm having a really difficult day. No details necessary. I was feeling down almost to the point of tears & something clicked i...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

My AH acted selfishly towards me and for some reason I was surprised. Thinkng about it now, it just seems silly. I had no reason to expect him to support me when it was even slightly inconvenient or uncomfortable for him - but still I had expectations and set myself up for didappointment. Things are so mu...

Aprilc · Aprilc

In the past week I have had to say goodbye to 2 daughters and 4 grandchildren, and it has been a very painful process. Having lost another grandchild through the family court as a result of this disease 8 years ago I am proud to say that I have learned very quickly to "detach and let God",but had to have a str...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I came across this in another board and thought it posed an interesting topic. While I was with my XAH I could not see beyond my thoughts and feelings regarding the alcoholic. I was so focused on saving him because if I did somehow I would be rescued. What I did not realize was that I was also drowning an...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery Step Five, has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please share your thoughts on this important step.Here is the link http:/...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

On the topic of fear (fitting on this day!), today's author admits that that was the primary emotion driving many decisions. When anything happened to alter an expected outcome, fears of the worst possible outcomes spurred panic, resulting in a crazy flurry of actions intended to ward off various i...

Frejya · Frejya

My husband has been in rehab for over a month. He will return soon, and I'm not sure what to do. We can only speak on occasion while he is in there. While I understand why they have the policy, it's left us with unresolved issues that would be better worked on while he has professionals around him. I live too...

Reakoblack · Reakoblack

Hello All, I'm having a little trouble these days. As usual I have caused some discomfort. I asked my qualifier if they could be nice towards me while their parent is in town. Once again. I "started it". I just don't know what it could be this time. We really haven't had a conversation in weeks. The last co...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, for the most part things have been going well. My AH is on medication for his alcoholism, anxiety, and depression, and has been sober since April. I have one, small, stupid thing that I'm struggling with. We have separate bedrooms (completely unrelated to any of this), and he used to keep the bo...

jocelgp · jocelgp

My husband has not been drinking for about 2 months now. Not that he has realised for himself but because I expressed my feeling that I don't think I can still live with drinking problem around. I am not stopping him, in fact I refuse to agree, disagree nor engage everytime he would bring out the topic o...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I did not grow up in an alcoholic home. We had our problems and levels of not facing reality, but it was not an alcoholic home. I believe that my dad's brother had a drinking problem. In fact, my dad told my brother, you drink too much. Of course my brother cut him out of his life after that, and demonized...

Rinn · Rinn

I feel like I am not holding it together very well yesterday and today. I know it will get better, but it still feels overwhelming at this moment. So I am bringing it here and dumping it on all of you lovely people because it really helps me to cope. I don't have many bad days anymore. I know it won't last. I k...

HockeyMom25 · HockeyMom25

I'm here mostly because I'm feeling alone again. I had been attending Al-Anon meetings pretty well, although I have yet to get a sponsor. (It seems like many in the meetings I have attended do not have sponsors/do not sponsor.) And I'm feeling a bit crazy tonight. My husband has been a heavy drinker fo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 30 speaks about practicing gratitude and each day looking for things to be grateful for. The quote is from One Day at a Time: When things look blackest, it is within my power to brighten them with the light of understanding and gratitude." I know when I first came into pr...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

Tough time staying strong this AM with the tools. AH not using alcohol for two weeks but high as a kite for any time not at work is angry because I told him to stay out after not showing up home Monday night and returning Tuesday with a lie that changes by the hour about how he was just too stoned and chose not t...

lookingup · lookingup

Hello all my alanon family here. aa versus alanon as in what to expect going to aa meetings? Instead of alanon meeting,only have aa meetings here in my small. Town,reason I'm asking since I'm alanon all the way,never drank or take narcotics.i know aa focuses on helping the alcoholic ,where alanon tea...

Worried Wife · Worried Wife

Hi all, I am I the process of starting a new job and when I start, I have decided to stay at a motel for one-two weeks. I am getting off this roller coaster ride, and the ridiculous arguments over nothing. My AH is trying to stop drinking by himself, and he and I both know that'll never work anymore. To this da...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- As some of you know my AS was diagnosed with cirrhosis and it's been an ongoing battle. My spouse is completely dependent on me. I've had help from others, from dog sitting to meals, etc. My AS needs help with the bathroom, mobility, and attention, as well as financial help. It's draining...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c speaks about the tendency we have to take offense to others hurtful/tactless remarks whilst convincing ourselves that our own hurtful behaviour is "justified", for example interfering or pointing out the failings of an alcoholic loved one over and over with imaginary impunity becau...

moonriver · moonriver

Recently, I have begun speaking my truth. In my home group meeting this week a member announced she was going to piggyback on another's share. I said, "Hi, I'm moonriver, and I believe piggy backing is a form of cross talk." The person began to pack her things to leave. I added "Correct me if I'm wrong....

Lys · Lys

My boyfriend graduation from a 30 day recovery program on Saturday morning. He was supposed to go into a Sober Living house on Monday. I picked him up Sat and took him out to breakfast. He ordered a beer. I laughed and asked if he was joking. He said "I'll be right back". He left me at the restaurant and walk...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Well it's finally done. I have officially sold the home and I will living in Anthem, AZ in about one month. I'm happy but also scared...I know in my heart it is the right thing to do. I have to thank my son for the encouragement and support getting me there. Even with everything going on with h...

Fooled · Fooled

My Rah is coming up on 30 days. He is going to IOP 3 nights per week. Is supposed to be doing on line meetings since he is not really able to walk. I don't think this is happening. However, Im sticking to my own side of the street. Everyday until today he has been angry about something. How is he being mi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily reading is all about the golden rule - treat others as you would like to be treated. The reading discusses how simple it is for us to slip back into old attitudes towards others. It talks about how our impatience with others can lead to impatience with ourselves as well as the world. Als...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I didn't know my brother was drinking. He lives in another town and he hid it from the extended family. He would call me and I would make small talk. I knew he had problems, I just thought he was severely depressed. I didn't know about the alcohol. Sometimes I would get angry and ask him to come up and see h...

Crau · Crau

I hate when my brain spirals out of control. Tonight I'm spinning about the past, how far I thought I had come and realizing that I'm kind of stuck where I was two years ago, just with a lot less anger and anxiety. I still want control over the uncontrollable. I want to feel acceptance without having to be p...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I'm new, need advice (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm engaged to an alcoholic who hasn't drank in the year and a half that I have known him. We have been in an argument for about a day or so and I found him tonight on our apartment rooftop lounge drinking and very upset. I finally got him to come back down to our apartment. I didn't know what to do...	LizzieAmanda	4	371	Nov 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	New to Al-Anon/ Uncomfortable Meeting (Preview) hello. i'm very new to al-anon, but grateful i've found this organization. i went to my 6th meeting today. afterwards, a woman beside me started to chit chat with me. she started off friendly and welcomed me to the group, but then started asking personal questions. she asked my profession and i said i h...	jml2424	11	456	Nov 4, 2016 by jml2424
	Heard at a meeting (file under self-care) (Preview) At my wonderful home group meeting tonight, a member shared something that someone else shared with him (he is in recovery from cancer, and this came from a fellow cancer survivor): "eat the cake, take the trip, buy the shoes" -- meaning, he said, "care for yourself extravagantly because no one else w...	e_i_m	3	377	Nov 4, 2016 by Suburban Denizen
	I am freaking out (Preview) My ex sister in law called trying to get me to fix this. She's also an Alcoholic and played a role in creating this mess. I told her don't call me. Don't talk to me. Alcoholic brother is being taken care of. He actually called me from rehab center. He saw a priest, he had asked me for one a few weeks ago. G...	Lucy125	3	329	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	I am feeling tremendous guilt (Preview) I didn't know my brother was using alcohol. He hid it from us. He lives in another town and would call me daily, but he wouldn't allow me to go see him. He would call and cancel all the time at last minute. The last time he came to visit my mom was 4 years ago. I saw him 1 year ago and he looked okay. I am not use...	Lucy125	5	364	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Never leaving Alanon... (Preview) My old sponsor quit Alanon a few years ago... ah decided that i wanted to remain a lifetime member. I have joined another fellowship, one that grew out of Alanon, AA and Alateen. This is a new fellowship- which one day, in years to come, I hope will join the family of 12 step groups. I have done the steps o...	DavidG	3	317	Nov 3, 2016 by hotrod
	When Detachment Destroys Families ( 1 2 ) (closed) (Preview) There are many sponsors who tell there sponsees to separate completely from their loved one to put their own interest before the alcoholics needs. This is ONLY true when the alcoholic is ruining your life and not meant to destroy the relationship. So many are taking this way too far. MY brother never a...	Sportgear	72	1472	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/3/16 (Preview) The reading today talks about the gift, joy and need for sponsorship. Most of us have a huge need to be heard when we first arrive. Al-Anon provides a safe place to share and we often crave this as well as the attention. While the newcomer is critically important to the meeting, the well-being of the g...	Iamhere	4	329	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Ouch HP intercedes (Preview) went for routine checkup, all is well. However my doctor who is a orthodox jew and knows im jewish,starts telling me things. He says, dont u know hp is watching over u and you are not alone even though u feel alone sometimes ? Then he says, i recomend u buy a mezuzah[which is a decorative item filled with pr...	YARNCRAZY	4	397	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	What am I doing (Preview) Ever since the incident with the money taken out of my wallet I have been a little stuck, I guess. I don't know what to call it, I cant really describe it.... I know Im a little off kilter since the 9 month infant foster child of my neighbors that I babysit is currently in a hospital on a ventilator and in...	Fooled	5	409	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	So relieved (Preview) So all I really have to post is !last night I got a call. It was from the office who I am seeing from medical. She said my A1C was low enough that I don't have diabetes. My dad had it & my husband had it so you can only imagine how nervous I was. Anyhow I am grateful that I am doing OK.	Hoot Nanny	4	338	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	I can't accept good treatment (Preview) Let me preface this by saying I am NOT dating or seeking a relationship - I know I'm no where near ready to identify a good man, or be a good partner to one. I have an art gallery. There is a gentleman that comes in once in a while to look around. I learned later that he does so because he enjoys my company more t...	sarahGee	14	505	Nov 3, 2016 by andromeda
	THEY CALLED HOSPICE He's not going to make it (Preview) I am so scared... I really thought there was some hope. They are going to give him this medication to get ammonia out of his brain. If it works, he's going home to die. Hospice has been called. OMG I never thought I would see this.	Lucy125	14	472	Nov 2, 2016 by maryjane
	I feel so alone (Preview) My husband and two kids and my elderly mom are all I have now. My brother and his family are gone. How do I cope with this?	Lucy125	7	368	Nov 2, 2016 by Lucy125
	C2C 11-2-16 (Preview) Step 2 was once paraphrased as: "First I came, then I "came to", then I came to believe." Today's reading contains a description of how the program works for some, particularly Step 2. No miracles necessary initially, just get to a meeting, involve yourself, look for and ask for guidance, and remain o...	Enigmatic	4	366	Nov 2, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Mind is spinning (Preview) I'm having a hard time today keeping thoughts and conversations surrounding my ex ABF away. I got a call today from one of his friends checking to see if I had heard from him. Although I would have liked to just ignored the call I did not. I knew why he would have been calling as soon as I got the call as that's...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	1	301	Nov 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Tools working in the wider world... (Preview) The past week has been challenging here in Italy with powerful earthquakes and a lot of disruption for thousands of people in our neighbourhood. Apparently we have had 700 aftershocks in the past two days alone, and I would guess that about half of those are felt. They are instant reminders of the thr...	milkwood	4	346	Nov 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Question about a Higher Power (Preview) My bf is home from rehab and is doing well. He seems to have accepted aa and all it is he must continue to do, which for him, is amazing. When he went in he was so against the whole idea of aa, the "cult" aspect and the references to god etc. but he is going to his meetings, doing his outpatient therapy, meditat...	Desperateinnyc	15	3256	Nov 2, 2016 by Mercury
	What is "Gaslighting"? (Preview) Not quite sure. I have probably experienced it, but couldnt put a name to it. thanks linsc	LinSC	10	1361	Nov 2, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Orphan alcoholism (Preview) Hi, I am a mum of 5. My mum and dad died when I was younger. My mum was an alcoholic. I have a drinking problem. Help! Need someone to talk to	Bananasandcustard	1	316	Nov 2, 2016 by hotrod
	Gaslighting (Preview) Need some ESH for being Gaslighted. On the way to church yesterday my RAH saw me frantically searching through my wallet for my cash for the envelope. It wasn't there! I tore apart my pocketbook, looked in every nook and cranny of my hiding spots. Not there! I announced to him that my money wa...	Fooled	20	692	Nov 1, 2016 by Fooled
	Tinder and Xfating.com (Preview) AH says he has nothing to hide and all I ever had to do was ask. He shares the password for his laptop. Of course his emails received were deleted but the sent mails were not. He emailing to meet women before and during rehab. One he even asked if he could meet her the same night. This man just said to me on the p...	sunmustshine	10	549	Nov 1, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	Betrayal (Preview) I am still so numb and angry. The AFB went and got drunk. Expected that. He was sober for 3 months. He just went and got drunk Saterday night. Then he phoned his ex-wife who was happy to pick him up and he was gone all night till 8 am with her. I am numb and angry that he would just take off with his ex-wife and spe...	joker	7	981	Nov 1, 2016 by lookingup
	A smile for you (Preview) We are non denominational - - But who doesn't love puppies in costume. This is my 15 week old American Bulldog puppy, Dottie. -- Edited by sarahGee on Monday 31st of October 2016 11:31:16 PM	sarahGee	15	420	Nov 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Literature (Preview) Hello. A while ago some wonderful people posted about literature that may be helpful to me. I wrote down the names of those books, but I wanted some advice on maybe one good one in particular to start with. One, How Alanon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics, stood out to me. Would this one...	Cammi45	8	373	Nov 1, 2016 by Cammi45
	Hope for Today Nov 1 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- and thank you for all the well wishes regarding my move. We are starting to get settled and the whole house is calming down after a stressful end-of-summer and fall!! This reading is about how it may be possible to hear what is difficult for us to hear directly from family member...	yanksfan51	2	316	Nov 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Rough day (Preview) I posted once before, in July when I was hoping things with my husband of 20 years would be fixed. Well, they didn't change and in August I filed for divorce and moved out. I felt pushed into it by him. Even after moving, I still hoped for him to "get it" and make changes. Instead, he continued drinking, sta...	Tinyhouse	4	414	Nov 1, 2016 by yanksfan51
	Careing and compassionate (Preview) Being careing ,having compassion for a loved one are great assets to have within us,it's when my careing and compassion goes over board to the extremes of putting me in harms way that also builds resentments in me towards my qaulifiers, ive never been able to not take it to the extremes of how to just be...	lookingup	8	389	Nov 1, 2016 by lookingup
	Dealing with a crush (Preview) Recently I have developed a crush on a man I know. The intensity of this infatuation has taken me by surprise. Didn't expect to feel like this again. I'm still living with ah partner so its highly unlikely anything can happen with this man, even if he was interested. I find myself spending too much time...	Emma123	20	2982	Nov 1, 2016 by Emma123
	Embarrassed (Preview) I had my first al-anon meeting last night - I found it hard to control my emotions & found myself tearfully explaining my situation to a group of people I had only just met. I don't even think I articulated it very well as I was sobbing. I feel embarrassed now & scared to go back. I could just pictur...	SaraLin	27	705	Nov 1, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	Update on twins (Preview) So, one is white knuckling semi-sobriety. Refuses meetings after going to one a week ago. Still smoking pot, but very little. The other twin has his first pre-trial probation check tomorrow and he's AWOL. Left the house today at 2pm and no one has seen him since. He is with a friend and the friend has bee...	themoonandthestars	2	316	Oct 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	4th step (Preview) I was told in my f2f meetings that I should do my fourth step with a sponsor. I don't have a sponsor, and I don't think I'll have one for a long while because I can only get to meetings once a week. It's difficult to get to know people in such a large group, with only an hour to engage and short snippits of thoug...	sarahGee	6	490	Oct 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	I feel like a bad person.... (Preview) My brother has terminal cirrhosis or so they tell me. When I spoke to doctor, she said she didn't know how bad it was only time would tell. He might eventually need liver transplant. One of my relatives said: you should give your brother a living donor liver transplant from yourself. After everythi...	Lucy125	11	490	Oct 31, 2016 by Lucy125
	Adult Children of Alcoholics (Looking for a new perspective) (Preview) Hello, I hope it is okay I am posting this. I am a recovering alcoholic with 2 children and a wife who has been going through the good, bad and worse for a long time. I have been a freight train that has moved through her life and my children's life destroying anything that would resemble stability. I have b...	Dis-Ease91	17	549	Oct 31, 2016 by DavidG
	Fellowship (Preview) It is so true. Turning to Al Anon, weather it's your CAL, listening to conference talks, going to a meeting or reaching out to others in the program, does help center you. I'm having a really difficult day. No details necessary. I was feeling down almost to the point of tears & something clicked i...	sarahGee	5	368	Oct 31, 2016 by sarahGee
	Counting on AH just dosen't work even though he's dry (Preview) My AH acted selfishly towards me and for some reason I was surprised. Thinkng about it now, it just seems silly. I had no reason to expect him to support me when it was even slightly inconvenient or uncomfortable for him - but still I had expectations and set myself up for didappointment. Things are so mu...	Taraxacum	14	889	Oct 31, 2016 by Taraxacum
	LOSING MY LOVED ONES' ONE BY ONE (Preview) In the past week I have had to say goodbye to 2 daughters and 4 grandchildren, and it has been a very painful process. Having lost another grandchild through the family court as a result of this disease 8 years ago I am proud to say that I have learned very quickly to "detach and let God",but had to have a str...	Aprilc	4	362	Oct 31, 2016 by Lucy125
	"What are my needs beyond the needs of the alcoholic or addict?" (Preview) I came across this in another board and thought it posed an interesting topic. While I was with my XAH I could not see beyond my thoughts and feelings regarding the alcoholic. I was so focused on saving him because if I did somehow I would be rescued. What I did not realize was that I was also drowning an...	SerenityRUS	11	899	Oct 31, 2016 by sarahGee
	Step Board Step 5 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery Step Five, has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please share your thoughts on this important step.Here is the link http:/...	hotrod	0	403	Oct 31, 2016 by hotrod
	C2C 10-31-16 (Preview) On the topic of fear (fitting on this day!), today's author admits that that was the primary emotion driving many decisions. When anything happened to alter an expected outcome, fears of the worst possible outcomes spurred panic, resulting in a crazy flurry of actions intended to ward off various i...	Enigmatic	2	489	Oct 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Trying to figure out where I stand. (Preview) My husband has been in rehab for over a month. He will return soon, and I'm not sure what to do. We can only speak on occasion while he is in there. While I understand why they have the policy, it's left us with unresolved issues that would be better worked on while he has professionals around him. I live too...	Frejya	21	629	Oct 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Just sad. (Preview) Hello All, I'm having a little trouble these days. As usual I have caused some discomfort. I asked my qualifier if they could be nice towards me while their parent is in town. Once again. I "started it". I just don't know what it could be this time. We really haven't had a conversation in weeks. The last co...	Reakoblack	3	253	Oct 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Letting go of one little thing (Preview) So, for the most part things have been going well. My AH is on medication for his alcoholism, anxiety, and depression, and has been sober since April. I have one, small, stupid thing that I'm struggling with. We have separate bedrooms (completely unrelated to any of this), and he used to keep the bo...	SpiderArcana	7	426	Oct 31, 2016 by el-cee
	AH just informed me he will be with his mom on Christmas and New Year (Preview) My husband has not been drinking for about 2 months now. Not that he has realised for himself but because I expressed my feeling that I don't think I can still live with drinking problem around. I am not stopping him, in fact I refuse to agree, disagree nor engage everytime he would bring out the topic o...	jocelgp	4	411	Oct 31, 2016 by Calm Lady
	60 percent of alcoholics do not have a family history (Preview) I did not grow up in an alcoholic home. We had our problems and levels of not facing reality, but it was not an alcoholic home. I believe that my dad's brother had a drinking problem. In fact, my dad told my brother, you drink too much. Of course my brother cut him out of his life after that, and demonized...	Lucy125	8	468	Oct 30, 2016 by maryjane
	I feel really down today (Preview) I feel like I am not holding it together very well yesterday and today. I know it will get better, but it still feels overwhelming at this moment. So I am bringing it here and dumping it on all of you lovely people because it really helps me to cope. I don't have many bad days anymore. I know it won't last. I k...	Rinn	11	471	Oct 30, 2016 by pinkchip
	Not sure what my next step is (Preview) I'm here mostly because I'm feeling alone again. I had been attending Al-Anon meetings pretty well, although I have yet to get a sponsor. (It seems like many in the meetings I have attended do not have sponsors/do not sponsor.) And I'm feeling a bit crazy tonight. My husband has been a heavy drinker fo...	HockeyMom25	3	374	Oct 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading for 10-30-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 30 speaks about practicing gratitude and each day looking for things to be grateful for. The quote is from One Day at a Time: When things look blackest, it is within my power to brighten them with the light of understanding and gratitude." I know when I first came into pr...	hotrod	5	372	Oct 30, 2016 by El
	Insults from IOP (Preview) Tough time staying strong this AM with the tools. AH not using alcohol for two weeks but high as a kite for any time not at work is angry because I told him to stay out after not showing up home Monday night and returning Tuesday with a lie that changes by the hour about how he was just too stoned and chose not t...	sunmustshine	9	597	Oct 30, 2016 by a4l
	AA versus Alanon (Preview) Hello all my alanon family here. aa versus alanon as in what to expect going to aa meetings? Instead of alanon meeting,only have aa meetings here in my small. Town,reason I'm asking since I'm alanon all the way,never drank or take narcotics.i know aa focuses on helping the alcoholic ,where alanon tea...	lookingup	7	588	Oct 29, 2016 by Jerry F
	Motel 6, here I come (Preview) Hi all, I am I the process of starting a new job and when I start, I have decided to stay at a motel for one-two weeks. I am getting off this roller coaster ride, and the ridiculous arguments over nothing. My AH is trying to stop drinking by himself, and he and I both know that'll never work anymore. To this da...	Worried Wife	10	485	Oct 29, 2016 by Jerry F
	Dealing with 24 hr. Care of sick AS- losing serenity (Preview) Hi everyone- As some of you know my AS was diagnosed with cirrhosis and it's been an ongoing battle. My spouse is completely dependent on me. I've had help from others, from dog sitting to meals, etc. My AS needs help with the bathroom, mobility, and attention, as well as financial help. It's draining...	gabigail	9	414	Oct 29, 2016 by Lucy125
	Courage To Change 29/10 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks about the tendency we have to take offense to others hurtful/tactless remarks whilst convincing ourselves that our own hurtful behaviour is "justified", for example interfering or pointing out the failings of an alcoholic loved one over and over with imaginary impunity becau...	MissM	6	378	Oct 29, 2016 by Kaylapenni
	How to know if a particular meeting is right or wrong for you (Preview) Recently, I have begun speaking my truth. In my home group meeting this week a member announced she was going to piggyback on another's share. I said, "Hi, I'm moonriver, and I believe piggy backing is a form of cross talk." The person began to pack her things to leave. I added "Correct me if I'm wrong....	moonriver	7	409	Oct 29, 2016 by 2HP
	When is enough, enough? (Preview) My boyfriend graduation from a 30 day recovery program on Saturday morning. He was supposed to go into a Sober Living house on Monday. I picked him up Sat and took him out to breakfast. He ordered a beer. I laughed and asked if he was joking. He said "I'll be right back". He left me at the restaurant and walk...	Lys	20	861	Oct 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's finally over (Preview) Hi Everyone Well it's finally done. I have officially sold the home and I will living in Anthem, AZ in about one month. I'm happy but also scared...I know in my heart it is the right thing to do. I have to thank my son for the encouragement and support getting me there. Even with everything going on with h...	Cathyinaz	20	652	Oct 29, 2016 by a4l
	Anger? Manipulation? Dry Drunk? (Preview) My Rah is coming up on 30 days. He is going to IOP 3 nights per week. Is supposed to be doing on line meetings since he is not really able to walk. I don't think this is happening. However, Im sticking to my own side of the street. Everyday until today he has been angry about something. How is he being mi...	Fooled	16	2569	Oct 28, 2016 by Fooled
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/28/16 (Preview) Today's daily reading is all about the golden rule - treat others as you would like to be treated. The reading discusses how simple it is for us to slip back into old attitudes towards others. It talks about how our impatience with others can lead to impatience with ourselves as well as the world. Als...	Iamhere	6	386	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	trying really hard not to provoke (Preview) I didn't know my brother was drinking. He lives in another town and he hid it from the extended family. He would call me and I would make small talk. I knew he had problems, I just thought he was severely depressed. I didn't know about the alcohol. Sometimes I would get angry and ask him to come up and see h...	Lucy125	6	371	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Spinning and spiraling (Preview) I hate when my brain spirals out of control. Tonight I'm spinning about the past, how far I thought I had come and realizing that I'm kind of stuck where I was two years ago, just with a lot less anger and anxiety. I still want control over the uncontrollable. I want to feel acceptance without having to be p...	Crau	4	322	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.