Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Back to Step One. I do not have power over control over his drinking, but it has total control over me. That stash I found? Yeah...no new bottles, no idea how old it all is, nothing anywhere. It very well could have been his 'clean out' from when he quit (no idea why he wouldn't have actually thrown them a...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Hello all. I havent been here in a while. Sadly the usual ups and downs of the disease has kept me preoccupied and not putting the focus of my program where I should. So much has occured that is irrepairable but my concern now (and has been for a while) is how to keep him from the kids. He's been in and out of re...

LinSC · LinSC

Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgement or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. Seperating ourselves from the adverse effects of another person alcoholism can be a means of detaching: this does not neccessarily require physical seperati...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about Step 3 and how it's critical to our path for growth. Many of us came to recovery thinking we were well and we just wanted/needed our qualifier to change. We had tried with great intentions to control people, places and things - sincerely believing our way was the correct w...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm making an extra effort today to live our principles and this spiritual program. I don't find it easy and cant do it for every 24 hours in the day but I thought it might help me to write down what it means to me. Begin my day with a gratitude list to remind myself that all is ok and more than that I have so muc...

sarahGee · sarahGee

Why is it that they will never acknowledge or validate anything you say you feel or have felt? I don't understand that side of the A. I'm working on myself so that I don't search for validation anymore, because it's a fruitless effort..but could someone explain why they do that? Ie: if you say "this happ...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

OMG I am so angry. Now I have to clean up this mess. His friends are asking me why this happened. I have to tell my mom. The kids never told me he was drinking, I might have at least staged an intervention. Now it's all over. The pain is so much.

MissM · MissM

I've had a very bad day. My response is, I've booked myself in to get my motorbike license. Hell yeah

Woo!

MissM · MissM

Mother is in India. She wasn't very nice to me in the weeks leading up to her time away, and to be honest I've dreaded hearing from her. The day she left, she messaged me (obviously drunk) from the airport bar to tell me she was going to have a miserable time because my siblings were fighting and having dram...

FooledMeTwice · FooledMeTwice

I am really struggling today. I can't get my ex ABF off my mind and am still in disbelief that after 8 years together he ended everything between us to work on his sobriety - and he ended it in a text message no less. I know we are all in control of our own happiness and I need to focus on me etc. etc. But it's b...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It is so hard to stay on my side of the street at the moment and not rush in and meddle. UGH .. queen of the meddlers is what I am at times. I'm watching someone I care about go through some really messy stuff .. that whole watching a train wreck seeing the train wreck and kind of saying ummm .. do you even see t...

mmg330 · mmg330

Please forgive me this is a long post. I guess I'll start at the beginning. My AH got sober and and went into recovery/AA about 8 years ago. About 5 years ago he "befriended" a young woman in AA. They became fast friends. She was newly married at the time. Her new husband got transferred with the militar...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in C2C is about One Day at a Time. When we are able to focus on just today, this one day, we can be more realistic about improving our situation. Living one day at a time helps us get rid of that sense of constant urgency. One Day at a Time is a simple concept that allows us to realize no prob...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I got a call from my ex-abf yesterday morning. He was going to be working in my city and wanted to get his bike out of my basement and asked if it was okay. Yes, it was very okay, bc I've been wanting him to get his stuff for a while (I had been very controlling and full of expectations about him getting the stuf...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

My own fault, I let my Al-anon behaviours slip. Without thinking I spoke freely and spoke the truth to AH. In response I was told what a frigid and unstable person I am. That i should be happy with all the wonderful things I have. That i should walk around with a smile on my face at all times. Not to be unhapp...

Fedora · Fedora

Hello everyone. Now that the holiday season is about to be upon us, I wanted to share something that came up with me and my AH. It sort of made me laugh but not in a way that I would share out loud to anyone but this group. My AH and his mom have had ongoing issues now that his drinking is public knowledge. I sta...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I saw my brother today. He's dying. It's a matter of days, I think. The emotional pain is so much. I thought there was a chance, but it's not possible now. I tried over the years, but I didn't know what was wrong, he hid the drinking from us. I don't know what to do about his kids. 25, 23, 20. They are losing t...

runi · runi

My adult daughter and family is living with us. We do not drink. I have noticed daughter drinks every day. She does not get drunk. I'm thinking she has a tolerance. My gut has been telling me 'this is not good, danger, danger'. When, how do i say anything?

joker · joker

I am hurt that my daughter or sister will not help me. I had day surgery 2 days ago and I am in a lot of pain. Complete bed rest. I have three holes put in my stomack and a camera put in..found out that my bladder was stick to another tissue..doctor had to cut it out and put on antibiotics for infection inside st...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

I would like to start writing more and I was just wondering what are the things that you all usually journal about.

kspec85 · kspec85

Alright people, I cant even tell you how crazy my life has been since yesterday. ABF got drunk yesterday before I came home from work. I got home with two of my kids to get ready for trick or treating. I soon as I get there he's playing with the kids and everything is going fine. I can tell that he had been dr...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Good morning! Our reading today points out the incredible adaptability of humans, evident even in the chaotic and disruptive world where alcohol plays a harmful role. When the disease puts a halt to healthy family functioning and ways of getting our needs met, we often adopt less healthy and effici...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I saw this quote this morning and it best represents what recovery has gifted me....wanted to share with my MIP family here! A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. Every day you wake up, think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. Stop focusing on the negatives and ever...

shimo · shimo

Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 45 minutes (9:00 a.m. EST). Come on in and join us! Link to the chat room: https://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html If you come into the room without selecting a nickname for yourself, you would need to type /nick space followed by the nicknam...

sarahGee · sarahGee

Last weeks events prompted me to accept some truths. The biggest being that I am responsible for my own happiness, no one else is. I spoke with my dad today about leaving the family business. He is going to close it down. It makes sense all around for us to walk away from this. The best way for me to set up hea...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I spoke to Alcoholic brother yesterday and he's not doing good. He's still in convalescent home and he's not making a lot of sense. He did dial the phone to speak to me. My elderly mother asked and I reported it to her. She feels guilty because she's in a nice assisted living and he's in a not so great reh...

Mercury · Mercury

I just wanted to share some progress I have made in learning how to let go. I've been attending Al-Anon meetings for about a month after being miserable for a long time. I basically "reached bottom" when I went to my first meeting. I was so caught up in a whirlwind of resentment and anger and was basica...

Reakoblack · Reakoblack

Hello All, I found myself in a new situation. My qualifier, son, and me went over to our friends house for dinner. This was the first time I faced a situation that I was humiliated not only in front of our friend, but a stranger as well. The humiliation came from the mouth. I quickly collected my things an...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

IF Betty is around, maybe she can answer this because she's been in Al Anon a long time. When I was growing up, I was told I was incompetent. So I always feel like I can't do things and I need help. I have a fear of being alone. I have a real small family now and it scares the heck out of me. I had to stop seeing...

Beans22 · Beans22

Hello! So I'm new to this but have sought out individual counseling before... anyways my mother has been an alcoholic since before I was born. I'm 32 years young and a mother of two young boys. In the last year my mother's health has taken a turn for the worst, she was hospitalized last fall for not eatin...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about why some of us may be attracted to As in the first place, and what type of internal changes we may make in order to improve our own lives. The writer speaks of an awakening about his/her grandfather, who was an A. The writer learned many behaviors charac...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I don't have anyone to talk to. No numbers from my home group. Any suggestions of a place to call or something that would help

oceanpine · oceanpine

I'm really struggling with differentiating between consequences and punishment. I am so angry at my husband (from whom I am separated) that my petty and furious side would like to punish him for all he is putting me through. My more mature side that has been learning more and more about recovery know...

el-cee · el-cee

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading reminds us of the power we have as stated in Step 11: "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God...". The level of access to the love, guidance, and strength of a higher power is entirely in our control. Prayer and meditation connects us to our high...

Sportgear · Sportgear

My mother has been in AA for approx 33 years and has never made DIRECT amends to me or my siblings that I am aware of. I confronted her once about it and she said "I didn't think I owed you amends"....are you frigging kidding me? So later about a week she says "I guess I probably do I guess" and I said, no forget...

momwiz216 · momwiz216

I have an adult child alcoholic. About an hour ago at 4:45 Am there was an incident. I have been going to Al-anon for about 2 weeks and reading a lot of self help information about control and enabling but right now I just want to punish her for what just happened. How do I right here, right now deal with t...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

When I was growing up, I was the black sheep and my brother was the Golden Child. He was a star in our town. I was basically nothing. I recently went to a funeral in our town and nobody knew me. The people at funeral asked about him and even called me his sister, I have no name. After I left home, I got some r...

MissT · MissT

Hi, Sarah here. I've thought about joining for years now but thankfully I had a nice long patch where I forgot I needed help. Unfortunately the past 2 days have been hell.... i met my now husband 10 years ago. We were both extremely heavy drinkers. We started dating not long after that and the first year o...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

Today I got a text my ex ABF saying that he had gathered some of my stuff for me and that if I wanted to come grab it before he got home from work I could. He had told me a week ago that he did not want to be at the house when I came by as he was not ready to see me. I was hurt at first but I realize its better for the both o...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

My aBF is home from rehab now for 2 weeks..he has started drinking, but not to the excess he was. Thinks he can be one of those alcoholics who can control it.,well I think he woU of be the first! He told me, I went to rehab because of my physical addictions..and I'm ok now..he really believes he's good to go....

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

As it was suggested in my last post, all was revealed. I found the stash - 15 bottles behind a wall, in the very closet whose door opening/closing I was having issues with. Fifteen bottles, all empty. I have a baseline. If more show up, I have my answer, and I'll know the truth. While that's comfortin...

misterpiko · misterpiko

Do you consider it enabling if my husband uses any money that isn't for basic necessities to pay off drug debts? He has racked up huge credit card debts (in his name, thank God) and doesn't spend any money on anything but the bare minimum for our family, in my opinion. I do get to keep the baby bonus (I am a st...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

my boyfriend is two weeks out of rehab, he came home just now and told me he had two drinks at the bar..I suspect it's more. He kept saying I'm sorry ur disappointed, but I'm just not going to be one of those guys who never drinks again. I said I'm disappointed for u, not me. He seemed like he wanted to pick a fi...

stephaniestorti · stephaniestorti

My name is Stephanie. I'm 24 years old, and the past 5 months have been some of the best and worse of my life. I met my husband while he graduated from rehab, and only two short months later we were married. He was doing amazing when I met him. Just about 8 months sober! He has done many different types of drug...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I am struggling about where to draw a boundary. My brother's family 3 kids and ex wife expect me to come and help my brother who is dying from alcoholism. BUTTT they were never there for me, my mom, dad or uncles. I took care of my dad, mom and I helped my uncles and aunts before they passed away. I visite...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I feel like I am making a shift. At first I was trying things out - I went to one meeting, read one book, I decided to run one 5k race, I tried some new strategies with people in my life - setting healthy boundaries and reaching out for connection. All low risk "experiments" It has all been so positive, and...

Sandy408 · Sandy408

Good evening to all! So, I just wanted to talk on the topic of honesty. ... I had an incident recently with my sister (alcoholic in denial). She recently had her daughter move back in with her after living with her father for over a year. My sister was so used to it just being herself and her son (who's 10...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 6 reflects on Step Five," admitting to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." The reading asks the question" what is the exact nature of our wrongs " is it the embarrassing moment or the word spoken or our dishonesty. It suggests that "...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Today I woke up and filled out some applications online and updated my resume. I fed my 3 year old and I a bagel and fruit for breakfast and I went out to finish the my raking in the backyard and last time I forgot my gloves and had gotten blisters. So I grabbed my gloves and got to work. I finished and felt dir...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I plan on telling people that truth of what happened to our family, if they ask. A councilor says this is a terrible legacy of shame. There's a little something wrong with that idea.

kspec85 · kspec85

I desperately need some contacts to talk to. I have not yet found a home group. My closest friend is only mildly acquainted with Al Anon and I really really need someone in a mini sponsor capacity. If any old timers have it laid on their heart to help me out. Please PM your number and convenient contact tim...

MissM · MissM

Todays c2c speaks of the fact that our motivation for doing something can be far more important than the action itself. As an example, it talks about speaking up when we are bothered by something. We might use the exact same words and yet if our motivation is to manipulate or change another person's beh...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I went to a meeting this morning that focused on Step 6 (Were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character). We read some pages out of C2C and from Paths to Recovery (workbook). As is so often the case, this was a really pertinent topic for me. One of the readings talked about the author wor...

joker · joker

I have been thinking about my relationship with my ABF and I am seeing how he is so disrespectful toward me. He is angry all the time, as he is dry drunk, complains constantly about me not working-I am off work due to sickness and scheduled for day surgery on Monday. I see he has no compassion toward my illn...

gracekt · gracekt

I am in desperate need of enlightenment from anyone who is willing to share. I married a beautiful man a little over 2 years ago. He is in AA and loves to help people. (Part of why I love him so much) He had been sober for 3 years when I met him and spent many hours a day on the phone with various sponsees. He shar...

vvv · vvv

I wrote a little earlier about my ex abf and it's still going on. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not...I try not to talk to him when he is drunk because he never remembers what he says and he says the most hurtful, scary things. I also try not to text him either when he is drinking, because the...

sarahGee · sarahGee

My brother somehow found my info on this page and my posts were forwarded to my family. I know this is a risk we run in posting online. I don't regret seeking help, I never will. But I'm incredibly hurt that my personal business was used as a way to cause more drama in my family. Any advice would help here.

sarahGee · sarahGee

I've got myself stumped. I can not for the life of me figure out why I am missing my ex so much. HP has been doing his thing and putting little nuggets in front of me to remind me why what I'm doing is the right thing. I came across an old text message exchange with a few friends. My ex had convinced me he had no mo...

JRR · JRR

Hello, I was formerly married to a classic/obvious alcoholic so I know I have issues with that. My problem is, four years ago I entered a relationship with a man who is stable, treats me like a queen, hardworking, and giving to others so his drinking wasn't obvious at first. He drinks a lot but doesn't h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I have totally lost control (Preview) Back to Step One. I do not have power over control over his drinking, but it has total control over me. That stash I found? Yeah...no new bottles, no idea how old it all is, nothing anywhere. It very well could have been his 'clean out' from when he quit (no idea why he wouldn't have actually thrown them a...	SpiderArcana	4	452	Nov 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Keeping the kids from him (Preview) Hello all. I havent been here in a while. Sadly the usual ups and downs of the disease has kept me preoccupied and not putting the focus of my program where I should. So much has occured that is irrepairable but my concern now (and has been for a while) is how to keep him from the kids. He's been in and out of re...	Hopefull15	6	471	Nov 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	DETACHMENT? (Preview) Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgement or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. Seperating ourselves from the adverse effects of another person alcoholism can be a means of detaching: this does not neccessarily require physical seperati...	LinSC	23	1076	Nov 11, 2016 by LinSC
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/11/16hen (Preview) Today's reading is all about Step 3 and how it's critical to our path for growth. Many of us came to recovery thinking we were well and we just wanted/needed our qualifier to change. We had tried with great intentions to control people, places and things - sincerely believing our way was the correct w...	Iamhere	3	492	Nov 11, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Trying to be in Gods will today! (Preview) I'm making an extra effort today to live our principles and this spiritual program. I don't find it easy and cant do it for every 24 hours in the day but I thought it might help me to write down what it means to me. Begin my day with a gratitude list to remind myself that all is ok and more than that I have so muc...	el-cee	9	546	Nov 11, 2016 by KT2015
	I know I'm not going to get any closure but.. (Preview) Why is it that they will never acknowledge or validate anything you say you feel or have felt? I don't understand that side of the A. I'm working on myself so that I don't search for validation anymore, because it's a fruitless effort..but could someone explain why they do that? Ie: if you say "this happ...	sarahGee	24	710	Nov 11, 2016 by KT2015
	He's going to die this evening (Preview) OMG I am so angry. Now I have to clean up this mess. His friends are asking me why this happened. I have to tell my mom. The kids never told me he was drinking, I might have at least staged an intervention. Now it's all over. The pain is so much.	Lucy125	16	624	Nov 11, 2016 by Lucy125
	Woohoo (Preview) I've had a very bad day. My response is, I've booked myself in to get my motorbike license. Hell yeah Woo!	MissM	10	486	Nov 11, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Messages from India. (Preview) Mother is in India. She wasn't very nice to me in the weeks leading up to her time away, and to be honest I've dreaded hearing from her. The day she left, she messaged me (obviously drunk) from the airport bar to tell me she was going to have a miserable time because my siblings were fighting and having dram...	MissM	7	2246	Nov 11, 2016 by sarahGee
	Emotional, bad day (Preview) I am really struggling today. I can't get my ex ABF off my mind and am still in disbelief that after 8 years together he ended everything between us to work on his sobriety - and he ended it in a text message no less. I know we are all in control of our own happiness and I need to focus on me etc. etc. But it's b...	FooledMeTwice	8	499	Nov 11, 2016 by el-cee
	My side of the street .. (Preview) It is so hard to stay on my side of the street at the moment and not rush in and meddle. UGH .. queen of the meddlers is what I am at times. I'm watching someone I care about go through some really messy stuff .. that whole watching a train wreck seeing the train wreck and kind of saying ummm .. do you even see t...	SerenityRUS	1	398	Nov 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Am I Crazy? (Preview) Please forgive me this is a long post. I guess I'll start at the beginning. My AH got sober and and went into recovery/AA about 8 years ago. About 5 years ago he "befriended" a young woman in AA. They became fast friends. She was newly married at the time. Her new husband got transferred with the militar...	mmg330	10	606	Nov 10, 2016 by Mattie
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/10/16 (Preview) Today's reading in C2C is about One Day at a Time. When we are able to focus on just today, this one day, we can be more realistic about improving our situation. Living one day at a time helps us get rid of that sense of constant urgency. One Day at a Time is a simple concept that allows us to realize no prob...	Iamhere	2	433	Nov 10, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Working my program (Preview) I got a call from my ex-abf yesterday morning. He was going to be working in my city and wanted to get his bike out of my basement and asked if it was okay. Yes, it was very okay, bc I've been wanting him to get his stuff for a while (I had been very controlling and full of expectations about him getting the stuf...	e_i_m	3	404	Nov 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Stove still hot (Preview) My own fault, I let my Al-anon behaviours slip. Without thinking I spoke freely and spoke the truth to AH. In response I was told what a frigid and unstable person I am. That i should be happy with all the wonderful things I have. That i should walk around with a smile on my face at all times. Not to be unhapp...	Calm Lady	26	685	Nov 10, 2016 by FooledMeTwice
	Holidays - limiting family, kind of glad (Preview) Hello everyone. Now that the holiday season is about to be upon us, I wanted to share something that came up with me and my AH. It sort of made me laugh but not in a way that I would share out loud to anyone but this group. My AH and his mom have had ongoing issues now that his drinking is public knowledge. I sta...	Fedora	7	476	Nov 10, 2016 by Calm Lady
	I saw dying brother, I need to stop being so co dependent (Preview) I saw my brother today. He's dying. It's a matter of days, I think. The emotional pain is so much. I thought there was a chance, but it's not possible now. I tried over the years, but I didn't know what was wrong, he hid the drinking from us. I don't know what to do about his kids. 25, 23, 20. They are losing t...	Lucy125	4	437	Nov 10, 2016 by Lucy125
	when to confront alcoholic (Preview) My adult daughter and family is living with us. We do not drink. I have noticed daughter drinks every day. She does not get drunk. I'm thinking she has a tolerance. My gut has been telling me 'this is not good, danger, danger'. When, how do i say anything?	runi	11	2642	Nov 9, 2016 by Fedora
	Bad day (Preview) I am hurt that my daughter or sister will not help me. I had day surgery 2 days ago and I am in a lot of pain. Complete bed rest. I have three holes put in my stomack and a camera put in..found out that my bladder was stick to another tissue..doctor had to cut it out and put on antibiotics for infection inside st...	joker	2	377	Nov 9, 2016 by hotrod
	Daily writing (Preview) I would like to start writing more and I was just wondering what are the things that you all usually journal about.	ItsAllAboutMeMC	4	495	Nov 9, 2016 by Bethany66
	Long White Trash Story (Preview) Alright people, I cant even tell you how crazy my life has been since yesterday. ABF got drunk yesterday before I came home from work. I got home with two of my kids to get ready for trick or treating. I soon as I get there he's playing with the kids and everything is going fine. I can tell that he had been dr...	kspec85	21	3576	Nov 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 11/9/16 (Preview) Good morning! Our reading today points out the incredible adaptability of humans, evident even in the chaotic and disruptive world where alcohol plays a harmful role. When the disease puts a halt to healthy family functioning and ways of getting our needs met, we often adopt less healthy and effici...	Enigmatic	3	560	Nov 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	A Beautiful Day..... (Preview) I saw this quote this morning and it best represents what recovery has gifted me....wanted to share with my MIP family here! A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. Every day you wake up, think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. Stop focusing on the negatives and ever...	Iamhere	5	2588	Nov 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9:00 A.M. EST (Preview) Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 45 minutes (9:00 a.m. EST). Come on in and join us! Link to the chat room: https://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html If you come into the room without selecting a nickname for yourself, you would need to type /nick space followed by the nicknam...	shimo	1	306	Nov 9, 2016 by hotrod
	Changes (Preview) Last weeks events prompted me to accept some truths. The biggest being that I am responsible for my own happiness, no one else is. I spoke with my dad today about leaving the family business. He is going to close it down. It makes sense all around for us to walk away from this. The best way for me to set up hea...	sarahGee	7	534	Nov 9, 2016 by FooledMeTwice
	Now my she feels guilty (Preview) I spoke to Alcoholic brother yesterday and he's not doing good. He's still in convalescent home and he's not making a lot of sense. He did dial the phone to speak to me. My elderly mother asked and I reported it to her. She feels guilty because she's in a nice assisted living and he's in a not so great reh...	Lucy125	2	440	Nov 8, 2016 by Lucy125
	Letting go - baby steps (Preview) I just wanted to share some progress I have made in learning how to let go. I've been attending Al-Anon meetings for about a month after being miserable for a long time. I basically "reached bottom" when I went to my first meeting. I was so caught up in a whirlwind of resentment and anger and was basica...	Mercury	12	690	Nov 8, 2016 by Mercury
	Humiliation (Preview) Hello All, I found myself in a new situation. My qualifier, son, and me went over to our friends house for dinner. This was the first time I faced a situation that I was humiliated not only in front of our friend, but a stranger as well. The humiliation came from the mouth. I quickly collected my things an...	Reakoblack	7	505	Nov 8, 2016 by Mercury
	Will this program help me be more independent? (Preview) IF Betty is around, maybe she can answer this because she's been in Al Anon a long time. When I was growing up, I was told I was incompetent. So I always feel like I can't do things and I need help. I have a fear of being alone. I have a real small family now and it scares the heck out of me. I had to stop seeing...	Lucy125	8	560	Nov 8, 2016 by Bethany66
	Should I walk away? (Preview) Hello! So I'm new to this but have sought out individual counseling before... anyways my mother has been an alcoholic since before I was born. I'm 32 years young and a mother of two young boys. In the last year my mother's health has taken a turn for the worst, she was hospitalized last fall for not eatin...	Beans22	8	554	Nov 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Nov 8 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about why some of us may be attracted to As in the first place, and what type of internal changes we may make in order to improve our own lives. The writer speaks of an awakening about his/her grandfather, who was an A. The writer learned many behaviors charac...	yanksfan51	4	422	Nov 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Bottoming out (Preview) I don't have anyone to talk to. No numbers from my home group. Any suggestions of a place to call or something that would help	sarahGee	10	527	Nov 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	consequences vs. punishment (Preview) I'm really struggling with differentiating between consequences and punishment. I am so angry at my husband (from whom I am separated) that my petty and furious side would like to punish him for all he is putting me through. My more mature side that has been learning more and more about recovery know...	oceanpine	19	714	Nov 8, 2016 by Fooled
	The new serenity prayer (Preview)	el-cee	5	1960	Nov 7, 2016 by HopefulTimes
	One Day at a Time in AlAnon 11/7/16 (Preview) Today's reading reminds us of the power we have as stated in Step 11: "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God...". The level of access to the love, guidance, and strength of a higher power is entirely in our control. Prayer and meditation connects us to our high...	Enigmatic	5	438	Nov 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Shouldn't We Expect Amends from a Parent? ( 1 2 ) (closed) (Preview) My mother has been in AA for approx 33 years and has never made DIRECT amends to me or my siblings that I am aware of. I confronted her once about it and she said "I didn't think I owed you amends"....are you frigging kidding me? So later about a week she says "I guess I probably do I guess" and I said, no forget...	Sportgear	74	1704	Nov 7, 2016 by hotrod
	desperate (Preview) I have an adult child alcoholic. About an hour ago at 4:45 Am there was an incident. I have been going to Al-anon for about 2 weeks and reading a lot of self help information about control and enabling but right now I just want to punish her for what just happened. How do I right here, right now deal with t...	momwiz216	7	589	Nov 7, 2016 by el-cee
	Rigid family roles (Preview) When I was growing up, I was the black sheep and my brother was the Golden Child. He was a star in our town. I was basically nothing. I recently went to a funeral in our town and nobody knew me. The people at funeral asked about him and even called me his sister, I have no name. After I left home, I got some r...	Lucy125	5	602	Nov 7, 2016 by Lucy125
	Finally getting the guts to help myself (Preview) Hi, Sarah here. I've thought about joining for years now but thankfully I had a nice long patch where I forgot I needed help. Unfortunately the past 2 days have been hell.... i met my now husband 10 years ago. We were both extremely heavy drinkers. We started dating not long after that and the first year o...	MissT	3	483	Nov 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Little steps can be big (Preview) Today I got a text my ex ABF saying that he had gathered some of my stuff for me and that if I wanted to come grab it before he got home from work I could. He had told me a week ago that he did not want to be at the house when I came by as he was not ready to see me. I was hurt at first but I realize its better for the both o...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	3	442	Nov 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	"Physically" cured? (Preview) My aBF is home from rehab now for 2 weeks..he has started drinking, but not to the excess he was. Thinks he can be one of those alcoholics who can control it.,well I think he woU of be the first! He told me, I went to rehab because of my physical addictions..and I'm ok now..he really believes he's good to go....	Desperateinnyc	3	653	Nov 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	I found it (Preview) As it was suggested in my last post, all was revealed. I found the stash - 15 bottles behind a wall, in the very closet whose door opening/closing I was having issues with. Fifteen bottles, all empty. I have a baseline. If more show up, I have my answer, and I'll know the truth. While that's comfortin...	SpiderArcana	9	582	Nov 7, 2016 by Reakoblack
	Question about Enabling and Financial Abuse (Preview) Do you consider it enabling if my husband uses any money that isn't for basic necessities to pay off drug debts? He has racked up huge credit card debts (in his name, thank God) and doesn't spend any money on anything but the bare minimum for our family, in my opinion. I do get to keep the baby bonus (I am a st...	misterpiko	3	469	Nov 7, 2016 by Rinn
	What do I do right now (Preview) my boyfriend is two weeks out of rehab, he came home just now and told me he had two drinks at the bar..I suspect it's more. He kept saying I'm sorry ur disappointed, but I'm just not going to be one of those guys who never drinks again. I said I'm disappointed for u, not me. He seemed like he wanted to pick a fi...	Desperateinnyc	14	606	Nov 7, 2016 by Rinn
	I need serious help. (Preview) My name is Stephanie. I'm 24 years old, and the past 5 months have been some of the best and worse of my life. I met my husband while he graduated from rehab, and only two short months later we were married. He was doing amazing when I met him. Just about 8 months sober! He has done many different types of drug...	stephaniestorti	8	561	Nov 6, 2016 by stephaniestorti
	How far does family help go? (Preview) I am struggling about where to draw a boundary. My brother's family 3 kids and ex wife expect me to come and help my brother who is dying from alcoholism. BUTTT they were never there for me, my mom, dad or uncles. I took care of my dad, mom and I helped my uncles and aunts before they passed away. I visite...	Lucy125	7	544	Nov 6, 2016 by 2HP
	Committing to change (Preview) I feel like I am making a shift. At first I was trying things out - I went to one meeting, read one book, I decided to run one 5k race, I tried some new strategies with people in my life - setting healthy boundaries and reaching out for connection. All low risk "experiments" It has all been so positive, and...	Taraxacum	4	486	Nov 6, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Honesty (Preview) Good evening to all! So, I just wanted to talk on the topic of honesty. ... I had an incident recently with my sister (alcoholic in denial). She recently had her daughter move back in with her after living with her father for over a year. My sister was so used to it just being herself and her son (who's 10...	Sandy408	3	685	Nov 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading 11-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 6 reflects on Step Five," admitting to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." The reading asks the question" what is the exact nature of our wrongs " is it the embarrassing moment or the word spoken or our dishonesty. It suggests that "...	hotrod	1	1193	Nov 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Self Love~Taking care of oneself (Preview) Today I woke up and filled out some applications online and updated my resume. I fed my 3 year old and I a bagel and fruit for breakfast and I went out to finish the my raking in the backyard and last time I forgot my gloves and had gotten blisters. So I grabbed my gloves and got to work. I finished and felt dir...	Breakingfree	13	1457	Nov 6, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Tell the Truth? (Preview) I plan on telling people that truth of what happened to our family, if they ask. A councilor says this is a terrible legacy of shame. There's a little something wrong with that idea.	Lucy125	17	666	Nov 6, 2016 by Lucy125
	Need a Friend (Preview) I desperately need some contacts to talk to. I have not yet found a home group. My closest friend is only mildly acquainted with Al Anon and I really really need someone in a mini sponsor capacity. If any old timers have it laid on their heart to help me out. Please PM your number and convenient contact tim...	kspec85	2	331	Nov 6, 2016 by Lyne
	Courage To Change 5/11 (Preview) Todays c2c speaks of the fact that our motivation for doing something can be far more important than the action itself. As an example, it talks about speaking up when we are bothered by something. We might use the exact same words and yet if our motivation is to manipulate or change another person's beh...	MissM	4	424	Nov 6, 2016 by Calm Lady
	The Courage to Change (Preview) I went to a meeting this morning that focused on Step 6 (Were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character). We read some pages out of C2C and from Paths to Recovery (workbook). As is so often the case, this was a really pertinent topic for me. One of the readings talked about the author wor...	e_i_m	4	379	Nov 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Trying to figure out what to do (Preview) I have been thinking about my relationship with my ABF and I am seeing how he is so disrespectful toward me. He is angry all the time, as he is dry drunk, complains constantly about me not working-I am off work due to sickness and scheduled for day surgery on Monday. I see he has no compassion toward my illn...	joker	7	535	Nov 5, 2016 by pinkchip
	Is my husband addicted to sponsoring? (Preview) I am in desperate need of enlightenment from anyone who is willing to share. I married a beautiful man a little over 2 years ago. He is in AA and loves to help people. (Part of why I love him so much) He had been sober for 3 years when I met him and spent many hours a day on the phone with various sponsees. He shar...	gracekt	22	823	Nov 4, 2016 by gracekt
	Am I Doing the Right Thing? (Preview) I wrote a little earlier about my ex abf and it's still going on. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not...I try not to talk to him when he is drunk because he never remembers what he says and he says the most hurtful, scary things. I also try not to text him either when he is drinking, because the...	vvv	2	565	Nov 4, 2016 by vvv
	Hurt. (Preview) My brother somehow found my info on this page and my posts were forwarded to my family. I know this is a risk we run in posting online. I don't regret seeking help, I never will. But I'm incredibly hurt that my personal business was used as a way to cause more drama in my family. Any advice would help here.	sarahGee	12	559	Nov 4, 2016 by sarahGee
	Why do we grieve the loss of a relationship with an alcoholic? (Preview) I've got myself stumped. I can not for the life of me figure out why I am missing my ex so much. HP has been doing his thing and putting little nuggets in front of me to remind me why what I'm doing is the right thing. I came across an old text message exchange with a few friends. My ex had convinced me he had no mo...	sarahGee	17	677	Nov 4, 2016 by KT2015
	Trying to figure out if my parter is a high functioning alcoholic/what I should do? high functioning alcoholic (Preview) Hello, I was formerly married to a classic/obvious alcoholic so I know I have issues with that. My problem is, four years ago I entered a relationship with a man who is stable, treats me like a queen, hardworking, and giving to others so his drinking wasn't obvious at first. He drinks a lot but doesn't h...	JRR	10	554	Nov 4, 2016 by JRR
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.