The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I got a text my ex ABF saying that he had gathered some of my stuff for me and that if I wanted to come grab it before he got home from work I could. He had told me a week ago that he did not want to be at the house when I came by as he was not ready to see me. I was hurt at first but I realize its better for the both of us right now. I did not express this to him I just said I understod.
I am home cleaning and doing earronds today and I don't really want to rush over there to grab my stuff before he gets back. At first I wrote out a text that said "I guess I'll have to do it another time" I waited and looked at it and realized that saying "I guess" Is my way of being manipulative really. It may not seem that way to most but for me it's just me saying "Well since you don't want to see me"
Well anyways I changed the text and just said I'll have to do it another day that I could not make it before he got home.
I feel really good about catching that and also setting my boundaries and I just wanted to share.
Also it looks like I have some free time after cleaning so I'm going to go to a meeting later. It's been a while and I know it will help reinforce all the things that helped me make the right choice today.
Good, good, good on you! I hope your meeting was awesome....I have found in recovery that the less I say, the better I feel. Almost like maturing in public or something. Keep working it - it looks good on you!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
