Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

robyn76 · robyn76

Hi everyone, Well, I really did enjoy my first meeting. It was small...only 8 people, most of them parents of the addict or alcholic. But I did learn so much. I will keep trying other meetings until I find a good fit for me. I can definitely see why it works and why they "keep c...

cabma · cabma

I went to my h's lawyer today. She informed me he was filing for divorce, not a separation, which was news to me. I also found out that I won't be able to afford my own lawyer either. That sucks. I talked with him tonight but we didn't get anywhere. He said he's going back o...

Serenity2Cherish · Serenity2Cherish

Hello everyone,    

peewee · peewee

Rose, I've been thinking about you, and wonder if you had success with the phone call to school. Talk later? MsPeewee

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((((((((Family))))))))))))), Reading your posts made me cry. I thank you for all your love and support. Here's an uodate. Hubby got home around 8 pm, and when he got out of the cab, I ran into his arms. I spent time talking and praying to God to keep both of them safe. It was incredibly h...

April306 · April306

Being new to al-anon I may sound very dense about this but was truly wondering if there is any difference in being able to detatch from your child than there would be from a spouse. My daughter in law can divorce my son and go on to start a life new with another (has done), so being able to detach herself fr...

Mollyd · Mollyd

Good Morning, I think I am finally starting to get it. I have read, and heard, for years that language of co-depndency - that you have to take care of yourself, you have to focus on yourself, you really can't have love or be loving without loving yourself. . . and it did nothing for me.&nbs...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

I am thinking of giving up on Alanon.Over the last 16 years that my husband has been in AA I have gone to Alanon several times,actually more than that,but I always hit this same wall and I leave again.I would like to get past this and find recovery but I don't know how. I always start out very encouraged a...

Barbara · Barbara

just wondering - thanks

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

i dont know if this will get deleted here either, but i am going to post on the other boards who ACCEPT my literature "takes" w/out deleting them... some of my literature "takes" were not deleted...some were....i don't get it...and don't have the time to try and fi...

liliana · liliana

Hello, My A and I have been together for 12 yrs. We don't have children, I had an ectopic pregnancy in 1997 and haven't gotten pregnant since. I thought I came to terms with all this, well at least until this weekend. Most of the women in my f to f meetings have kids and do stuff togeth...

rtexas · rtexas

Take it easy... Take it easy... Don't let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy. We may lose, or we may win... but we will never be here again. So open up I'm climbing in... Take it easy... I have shared here a few times that my Uncle recently fell from his addictions. In helping...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

deleted for copying Alanon copyrighted literature. -- Edited by jrtjosey at 13:35, 2006-04-06

angel123 · angel123

From our forum click attachment

niXieTeK · niXieTeK

i haven't been to a meeting in a long while. for many reasons i suppose, but right now i need some instant help. i am going absolutely crazy!!! i have been wonderful in dealing with my mom, my sister, my multiple friends and family members and co-workers that are alcoholics/drug addicts. but not doing s...

robyn76 · robyn76

Hi everyone, After one week of reading and posting on this forum, I am going to my first "real" alanon meeting. You all have inspired me, provoked my thoughts, brought me comfort and made me feel "normal" like someone else out there understands what I am going through. Anyway, for some...

QOD · QOD

Where to begin? Some of you are aware of my story. My A = Husband, Alcoholic, Cocaine Addict = My Insanity I have spent the last 3 weeks ignoring my A b/c of his disappearing acts where he drinks & gets high for days at a time. I figure that it is easier to pretend he isn't even there and build t...

rtexas · rtexas

F. False Evidence Appearing Real. If my head dream't it up chance are it's not real. I have been wrong so many times for so many wrong reasons that I just stopped judging, investigating, complaining and fearing. What I try to do today is remind myself always that I don't know what...

megan · megan

What a waste of time. I sat in the court hallway with my $325 hour attorney for 3 hours. But the mediation team strongly recommends against alimony and insists on a 50/50 split. now we go back to ping pong with the attorneys and another court ordered mediation in 2 weeks. The mediation team (famil...

Powerless · Powerless

My husband tells me everytime he has a craving. He said it helps when I talk to him to remind him of why he's getting clean, change the subject to get his mind off of it or have sex. This causes anxiety in me. I sit worrying about whether or not he will fight the craving or give in. THen I ge...

maresie · maresie

Growing up as a I did in a family where chaos, volatile emotions, crisis were the norm there was no emphasis on stability. I sometimes want to go into long long texts of how complicated my life is. I do not want to embrace simple tenents like learning emotional intelligence. I of cou...

Powerless · Powerless

I have spent the past few days dragging myself out of bed. I am so sleepy!!! It seems as if I can't get enough sleep. I am hungry...but cooking as we speak. I am angry and working on that. I am trying to work past the anger of his infidelity. My husband is helping me b...

angel123 · angel123

From Forum step 5 click attachment

cdb · cdb

Hello friends :) I couldn't decide whether to post or not. This is not postivie or full of ESH but it is taking care of me. I just arrived home from spending the past week or so with my parents again helping out. I helped hang pictures in their basement to get that finished, went to doctor appointments wi...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

I am so sad. Today, I stopped into a little store. I go there about once a week. The woman who runs the store has been such an angel to me since my A left. She took time to give my children special attention, especially holidays, birtdays etc. This christmas she "borrowe...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

Thanks for all the kind words, encouragement and good advice on my previous post about making a decision. I'm throwing this out to the general line, because after reading what you've said here - I have an important question: I believe that he really does want to start a new relationship, but h...

kissers · kissers

Since I started Alanon a year ago, I have become more aware of abusive people around me. I was in a verbally and physically abusive relationship that ended in October. It was like someone sucked the life out of me. I wound up not knowing who I am. I used to be very forgiving and let abusive behavior slide. N...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

... this has just gone too far! He tells me when he gets back from his trip that he did a lot of thinking and that he's decided that he wants to make a go of our relationship. He says he's going to stop contacting other women on the phone line, or make any attempt to meet them. I say that I don't k...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

Well - We are in our new home, some adjusting to do, but a much calmer atphmosphere! Had the washer and dryer,ice maker, phone and internet hooked up today. Tomorrow the plumbers redoing some pipes. Got a call in to remodeler to fix the shower area, regrout tub and water proof area better. Bo...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

I've had lots of emotions the last couple of days. I am amazed at the level of insecurity I have now with my "a". He is assuring me that he was not calling this girl to have a relationship and that it is completely over. I continue to pray for my healing and his on this matter... We did h...

flintfeet · flintfeet

things have been going well for me. my dad has been out of town for a few weeks and will be gone for another 2 weeks. i worry about him & the people he's with, but i realize there is nothing i can do about it. if he makes it home and in one piece...he does. if he doesn't...then i guess he doesn't. but i can cou...

Jewel · Jewel

After reading "The Lois Wilson" book, I have concluded I have never put and consequence's in to my relationship with my A.

In the past I have seen my A start AA over and over. At times it seems it maybe becuase my A thought the situation was coming to a head. Now in my heart I know I c...

megan · megan

I am ready to fight for what I deserve in regards to my marital assets. I appreciate the support of each and every one of you. I know EXACTLY where I was before alanon and I will never return to the depths of my personal hell again. There are many steps on my journey from sheer pain and desp...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

TUESDAY , APRIL 04, 2006 You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=1098>. All we are asked to bear we can bear. That is a law of the spiritual life. The only hindrance to the working of this law, as of all benign laws, is fear. --Elizabeth...

Kady · Kady

I just read in a post the following quote, "If they can get you angry (yes, of course they do it on purpose) they have the justifcation to go off - not take responsibility for their OWN feelings & blame you." I struggling with the idea that the A purposely gets you angry. Does this mean that they purpos...

cullyvan · cullyvan

I really get that detachment works and when I'm able to do it, it makes a tremendous difference in my life. But sometimes it seems impossible to stop those obsessive thoughts. I wonder if others have some practical suggestions of how to guide your thoughts during these frantic moments....

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

TUESDAY , APRIL 04, 2006 You are reading from the book Today's Gift </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=2121>. One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. --Ida Scott Taylor It's not always easy to understand that the day stretching...

Maria123 · Maria123

Over the last few days, it seems to me by reading the posts, they keep bringing me back to when I was my most unmanageable, my most vulnerable, my most unlovable, my most fragile and yet now I can smile with the knowledge that I am different and that I have come so far. During those bleak day...

DJ2006 · DJ2006

I posted a couple times, but have been mostly reading. I think I'm starting to realize what my biggest problems is. I'm constantly worried about how everyone I care about is feeling and I spend all my time trying to solve their problems and make them happy. I need to start figuring out what makes me hap...

cedarpines · cedarpines

How To Install Love (Think about this) Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install it now. What do I do first? Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART, ma'am? Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several other progr...

lulu2 · lulu2

I miss you all. I couldn't live with the drinking and verbal abuse from my hubby anymore, so since he wouldnt leave..I did. I have taken the kids and gone to my parents. It is hard on the kids not to be in their own house, but they are adjusting to the situation better than I thought they would, and bette...

123shawny · 123shawny

Thank you all for your posts! You reassured me all the things I already knew in my heart, and gave me the strenght tp walk away without being manipulated. I will keep coming back. This morning I told my A bf that I no longer wanted to be in a relationship with a man who cared more about substance abuse...

maresie · maresie

I have been trying to meditate a lot on HALT lately. I think loneliness is one of my core issues. The A can manipulate me a lot on that because I so often feel totally left out of his life. He will go off with his friends/workers/whoever and I will feel totally left out. This all came to a head for me bef...

123shawny · 123shawny

Hi I am new here, and I wondered if I could have a bit of advice? My boyfreind of three years has been on a two day drinking binge. When he goes out to drink, he never answers any texts or calls and says I am bothering him. However he calls me at 2am very drunk and checks up on me! When I said: please dont...

ditto · ditto

I was up early today thinking of all the things that I have to get done in just a short few hours. I am getting ready for the divorce and I must protect myself. I am very embarrassed that I must drag my friends into this and ask for some help, even though it is just minor help. Three years ago be...

Mollyd · Mollyd

Hi, I'm pretty new here. I'm going to a meeting tonight, and don't have a sponsor yet. I am pretty much freaking out. I realize it's screwed up - my A husband and I have been married 11 years - (recovery 1 year equals obviously rocky marraige) He is now saying he thin...

kitty · kitty

someone that I sent some lit to a few weeks ago asked to send me something back ~ I took 3 weeks away from the chat room & 2 or so off of the Board, partly due to regression but mostly from the accident & I was trying to think about my life, needs, wants, desires. Anyway,...

Kim · Kim

Hello all: it has been a while since I posted, I have been trying to get to more f2f meetings and working on things day to day. My A is still home and has 103 days clean. He has been working his program, me mine. He has been out of work since leaving rehab, taking care of...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

Before I found this site, I saw things more in black and white. If you are being verbally and emotionally abused, get OUT! I spent a lot of time on abuse sites, and I could blatantly see that I was with an abuser. He fit the description to a 'T', but I kept wondering...

bob6502 · bob6502

Hiya friends, I am not sure where to start with this post so I will jump in with both feet. Today I received news that my grandfather on my dad's side of the family passed away. I am sad but not surprised. My grandfather was quite elderly and in poor health. He passed away gently and peacefully. I will mis...

AlaMom · AlaMom

upon this marble head of mine. Sometimes we can be so thick-headed that we can't get out of our own way. This has been me for some time now. Beating my head against the wall thinking things will change if I keep doing it. The classic definition of insanity. Things have been c...

Scamper · Scamper

Just thought I would jot down a few words today. I am not feeling very well spritually or emotionally. I am really trying to get out of debt (a HUGE problem for me)...has been since I am 14 yrs. old. It seems like everytime I make a step or two (like everything else in my life)...the dis...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Edited for copyright infraction. -- Edited by jrtjosey at 15:08, 2006-04-04

DeAnna · DeAnna

I'm learning about enabling. First, my hub & me have very different ways of cooking. His is more elaborate, full meals. Mine are more simple dishes, & not as much food. I offer to cook dinner so that it's done @ a decent time. But the hub states he'll do it,...

QOD · QOD

Last Thurs my A husband didn't come home. I wasn't surprise when he didn't come home all weekend. I figured he was off getting high again and probably lost his job in the process. So Saturday I sat down w/my 12 year old son and opened up to him. I could see how much his dad's behav...

Feather · Feather

Hi All, I haven't been around for awhile as lots has been happening. Mainly with my Mum. She has been unwell again these last few weeks and was operated on last Sat. The surgeon warned us it would be a big op, a Whipples Procedure (the surgeon said it was equivalent in size to a heart transp...

iona54 · iona54

I get a weekly newsletter from an arts related source and this struck me as wonderful in that it it is like the alanon programme in the way that we strive to look after ourselves and look for the best. Hope you all enjoy as much as I did hugs iona54 Focusing the mind on a higher purpo...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello Roomies, Well, the ride continues. My "A" and I had a wonderful weekend. We spent family time together, spent quality time together, and he was sober all weekend. He cut ties off from his "friends" on Wednesday after they returned the car completely out of gas, and it also had stolen prope...

horselover58 · horselover58

Hi, I am looking for a sponsor. Hoping to find another woman who has an active alcoholic husband. It is a different life living with an active spouse. I live is a small farming community, the closest Alanon meetings are 20 miles away, plus I work evening shift that makes it doubly hard to get to f2f meetin...

kitty · kitty

I have some strange views for a westerner, I have read Zen since I was 16, after surviving my first suicide attempt. I do believe I came into this family, had these hardships, married an addict, it was all in God's divine plan... for me to disocver the love in me, the divinity or spark of God t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	UPDATE on 1st meeting and his response! (Preview) Hi everyone, Well, I really did enjoy my first meeting. It was small...only 8 people, most of them parents of the addict or alcholic. But I did learn so much. I will keep trying other meetings until I find a good fit for me. I can definitely see why it works and why they "keep c...	robyn76	7	654	Apr 7, 2006 by abbyal
	I don't think I can do this... (Preview) I went to my h's lawyer today. She informed me he was filing for divorce, not a separation, which was news to me. I also found out that I won't be able to afford my own lawyer either. That sucks. I talked with him tonight but we didn't get anywhere. He said he's going back o...	cabma	12	724	Apr 6, 2006 by emma
	Need Help My A said divorce (Preview) Hello everyone,	Serenity2Cherish	9	643	Apr 6, 2006 by Serenity2Cherish
	bullying Rosedawn topic (Preview) Rose, I've been thinking about you, and wonder if you had success with the phone call to school. Talk later? MsPeewee	peewee	2	519	Apr 6, 2006 by angel123
	Update on hubby (Preview) ((((((((((((((((Family))))))))))))), Reading your posts made me cry. I thank you for all your love and support. Here's an uodate. Hubby got home around 8 pm, and when he got out of the cab, I ran into his arms. I spent time talking and praying to God to keep both of them safe. It was incredibly h...	Karilynn	8	565	Apr 6, 2006 by tea2
	Child vs. Spouse (Preview) Being new to al-anon I may sound very dense about this but was truly wondering if there is any difference in being able to detatch from your child than there would be from a spouse. My daughter in law can divorce my son and go on to start a life new with another (has done), so being able to detach herself fr...	April306	13	657	Apr 6, 2006 by April306
	I think I've had a breakthrough! (Preview) Good Morning, I think I am finally starting to get it. I have read, and heard, for years that language of co-depndency - that you have to take care of yourself, you have to focus on yourself, you really can't have love or be loving without loving yourself. . . and it did nothing for me.&nbs...	Mollyd	3	744	Apr 6, 2006 by kitty
	going...going...slipping away (Preview) I am thinking of giving up on Alanon.Over the last 16 years that my husband has been in AA I have gone to Alanon several times,actually more than that,but I always hit this same wall and I leave again.I would like to get past this and find recovery but I don't know how. I always start out very encouraged a...	drucilla06	11	596	Apr 6, 2006 by debilyn
	how was the CT conference 3/25? (Preview) just wondering - thanks	Barbara	0	419	Apr 6, 2006 by Barbara
	time to let GO and "hasta luego" (Preview) i dont know if this will get deleted here either, but i am going to post on the other boards who ACCEPT my literature "takes" w/out deleting them... some of my literature "takes" were not deleted...some were....i don't get it...and don't have the time to try and fi...	rosie light shines	1	537	Apr 6, 2006 by jrtjosey
	I feel like I am the only person in the world who doesn't have kids. (Preview) Hello, My A and I have been together for 12 yrs. We don't have children, I had an ectopic pregnancy in 1997 and haven't gotten pregnant since. I thought I came to terms with all this, well at least until this weekend. Most of the women in my f to f meetings have kids and do stuff togeth...	liliana	12	622	Apr 6, 2006 by emma
	Ladies and Gentlemen ... THE EAGLES... (Preview) Take it easy... Take it easy... Don't let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy. We may lose, or we may win... but we will never be here again. So open up I'm climbing in... Take it easy... I have shared here a few times that my Uncle recently fell from his addictions. In helping...	rtexas	4	545	Apr 6, 2006 by abbyal
	now the laughter is REAL (Preview) deleted for copying Alanon copyrighted literature. -- Edited by jrtjosey at 13:35, 2006-04-06	rosie light shines	0	396	Apr 6, 2006 by rosie light shines
	Step 6 (Preview) From our forum click attachment	angel123	0	433	Apr 6, 2006 by angel123
	haven't been in a long while (Preview) i haven't been to a meeting in a long while. for many reasons i suppose, but right now i need some instant help. i am going absolutely crazy!!! i have been wonderful in dealing with my mom, my sister, my multiple friends and family members and co-workers that are alcoholics/drug addicts. but not doing s...	niXieTeK	3	476	Apr 6, 2006 by nycbt
	1st time...what should I expect?? (Preview) Hi everyone, After one week of reading and posting on this forum, I am going to my first "real" alanon meeting. You all have inspired me, provoked my thoughts, brought me comfort and made me feel "normal" like someone else out there understands what I am going through. Anyway, for some...	robyn76	4	541	Apr 6, 2006 by mebjk
	1 Day Strong, The Next Day Not So Much (Preview) Where to begin? Some of you are aware of my story. My A = Husband, Alcoholic, Cocaine Addict = My Insanity I have spent the last 3 weeks ignoring my A b/c of his disappearing acts where he drinks & gets high for days at a time. I figure that it is easier to pretend he isn't even there and build t...	QOD	8	504	Apr 6, 2006 by QOD
	WOW... another lightbulb! (Preview) F. False Evidence Appearing Real. If my head dream't it up chance are it's not real. I have been wrong so many times for so many wrong reasons that I just stopped judging, investigating, complaining and fearing. What I try to do today is remind myself always that I don't know what...	rtexas	4	506	Apr 6, 2006 by rtexas
	I survived court (Preview) What a waste of time. I sat in the court hallway with my $325 hour attorney for 3 hours. But the mediation team strongly recommends against alimony and insists on a 50/50 split. now we go back to ping pong with the attorneys and another court ordered mediation in 2 weeks. The mediation team (famil...	megan	12	594	Apr 6, 2006 by Karilynn
	How do I get rid of the fear? (Preview) My husband tells me everytime he has a craving. He said it helps when I talk to him to remind him of why he's getting clean, change the subject to get his mind off of it or have sex. This causes anxiety in me. I sit worrying about whether or not he will fight the craving or give in. THen I ge...	Powerless	6	660	Apr 6, 2006 by kitty
	Hungry Angry Lonely Tired (Preview) Growing up as a I did in a family where chaos, volatile emotions, crisis were the norm there was no emphasis on stability. I sometimes want to go into long long texts of how complicated my life is. I do not want to embrace simple tenents like learning emotional intelligence. I of cou...	maresie	4	1795	Apr 6, 2006 by nmike
	HALT and Afraid (Preview) I have spent the past few days dragging myself out of bed. I am so sleepy!!! It seems as if I can't get enough sleep. I am hungry...but cooking as we speak. I am angry and working on that. I am trying to work past the anger of his infidelity. My husband is helping me b...	Powerless	10	602	Apr 6, 2006 by maresie
	Step 5 (Preview) From Forum step 5 click attachment	angel123	0	507	Apr 5, 2006 by angel123
	Stressful time of year for me (Preview) Hello friends :) I couldn't decide whether to post or not. This is not postivie or full of ESH but it is taking care of me. I just arrived home from spending the past week or so with my parents again helping out. I helped hang pictures in their basement to get that finished, went to doctor appointments wi...	cdb	9	511	Apr 5, 2006 by alberta123
	a friend's drinking (Preview) I am so sad. Today, I stopped into a little store. I go there about once a week. The woman who runs the store has been such an angel to me since my A left. She took time to give my children special attention, especially holidays, birtdays etc. This christmas she "borrowe...	Lunamoth	6	594	Apr 5, 2006 by Andrea12
	I KNOW what the decision SHOULD be ... (Preview) Thanks for all the kind words, encouragement and good advice on my previous post about making a decision. I'm throwing this out to the general line, because after reading what you've said here - I have an important question: I believe that he really does want to start a new relationship, but h...	HadEnuff	5	520	Apr 5, 2006 by Powerless
	Who Am I? (Preview) Since I started Alanon a year ago, I have become more aware of abusive people around me. I was in a verbally and physically abusive relationship that ended in October. It was like someone sucked the life out of me. I wound up not knowing who I am. I used to be very forgiving and let abusive behavior slide. N...	kissers	5	501	Apr 5, 2006 by Juster
	I HAVE to Make a Decision ... (Preview) ... this has just gone too far! He tells me when he gets back from his trip that he did a lot of thinking and that he's decided that he wants to make a go of our relationship. He says he's going to stop contacting other women on the phone line, or make any attempt to meet them. I say that I don't k...	HadEnuff	5	489	Apr 5, 2006 by ears_open
	update (Preview) Well - We are in our new home, some adjusting to do, but a much calmer atphmosphere! Had the washer and dryer,ice maker, phone and internet hooked up today. Tomorrow the plumbers redoing some pipes. Got a call in to remodeler to fix the shower area, regrout tub and water proof area better. Bo...	jrtjosey	7	552	Apr 5, 2006 by emma
	A little light shining through and a Perfect "10" this week!! (Preview) I've had lots of emotions the last couple of days. I am amazed at the level of insecurity I have now with my "a". He is assuring me that he was not calling this girl to have a relationship and that it is completely over. I continue to pray for my healing and his on this matter... We did h...	twinmom2	1	673	Apr 5, 2006 by QOD
	wanted to talk (Preview) things have been going well for me. my dad has been out of town for a few weeks and will be gone for another 2 weeks. i worry about him & the people he's with, but i realize there is nothing i can do about it. if he makes it home and in one piece...he does. if he doesn't...then i guess he doesn't. but i can cou...	flintfeet	4	466	Apr 5, 2006 by Maria123
	How Many Times (Preview) After reading "The Lois Wilson" book, I have concluded I have never put and consequence's in to my relationship with my A. In the past I have seen my A start AA over and over. At times it seems it maybe becuase my A thought the situation was coming to a head. Now in my heart I know I c...	Jewel	4	773	Apr 5, 2006 by Jewel
	Getting ready to fight (Preview) I am ready to fight for what I deserve in regards to my marital assets. I appreciate the support of each and every one of you. I know EXACTLY where I was before alanon and I will never return to the depths of my personal hell again. There are many steps on my journey from sheer pain and desp...	megan	19	1037	Apr 5, 2006 by leo
	screw the challenges--- i need some joy AND hugs (Preview) TUESDAY , APRIL 04, 2006 You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=1098>. *All we are asked to bear we can bear. That is a law of the spiritual life. The only hindrance to the working of this law, as of all benign laws, is fear. --Elizabeth...*	rosie light shines	6	442	Apr 5, 2006 by leo
	They do it on purpose?? (Preview) I just read in a post the following quote, "If they can get you angry (yes, of course they do it on purpose) they have the justifcation to go off - not take responsibility for their OWN feelings & blame you." I struggling with the idea that the A purposely gets you angry. Does this mean that they purpos...	Kady	11	727	Apr 5, 2006 by kitty
	Tips for detachment (Preview) I really get that detachment works and when I'm able to do it, it makes a tremendous difference in my life. But sometimes it seems impossible to stop those obsessive thoughts. I wonder if others have some practical suggestions of how to guide your thoughts during these frantic moments....	cullyvan	4	475	Apr 5, 2006 by kitty
	HOLDING me in the now (Preview) TUESDAY , APRIL 04, 2006 You are reading from the book Today's Gift </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=2121>. *One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. --Ida Scott Taylor* It's not always easy to understand that the day stretching...	rosie light shines	1	437	Apr 5, 2006 by just me
	Saying no is empowering - may help some newcomers (Preview) Over the last few days, it seems to me by reading the posts, they keep bringing me back to when I was my most unmanageable, my most vulnerable, my most unlovable, my most fragile and yet now I can smile with the knowledge that I am different and that I have come so far. During those bleak day...	Maria123	7	695	Apr 4, 2006 by cdb
	I think I'm catching on.... (Preview) I posted a couple times, but have been mostly reading. I think I'm starting to realize what my biggest problems is. I'm constantly worried about how everyone I care about is feeling and I spend all my time trying to solve their problems and make them happy. I need to start figuring out what makes me hap...	DJ2006	4	478	Apr 4, 2006 by cdb
	How to Install Love (Preview) How To Install Love (Think about this) Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install it now. What do I do first? Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART, ma'am? Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several other progr...	cedarpines	4	617	Apr 4, 2006 by cdb
	to everything there is a season (Preview) I miss you all. I couldn't live with the drinking and verbal abuse from my hubby anymore, so since he wouldnt leave..I did. I have taken the kids and gone to my parents. It is hard on the kids not to be in their own house, but they are adjusting to the situation better than I thought they would, and bette...	lulu2	5	542	Apr 4, 2006 by cedarpines
	Thank you for your support (Preview) Thank you all for your posts! You reassured me all the things I already knew in my heart, and gave me the strenght tp walk away without being manipulated. I will keep coming back. This morning I told my A bf that I no longer wanted to be in a relationship with a man who cared more about substance abuse...	123shawny	1	495	Apr 4, 2006 by Maria123
	Loneliness (Preview) I have been trying to meditate a lot on HALT lately. I think loneliness is one of my core issues. The A can manipulate me a lot on that because I so often feel totally left out of his life. He will go off with his friends/workers/whoever and I will feel totally left out. This all came to a head for me bef...	maresie	4	512	Apr 4, 2006 by drucilla06
	New here, have a question (Preview) Hi I am new here, and I wondered if I could have a bit of advice? My boyfreind of three years has been on a two day drinking binge. When he goes out to drink, he never answers any texts or calls and says I am bothering him. However he calls me at 2am very drunk and checks up on me! When I said: please dont...	123shawny	9	734	Apr 4, 2006 by aunitedway
	Madness (Preview) I was up early today thinking of all the things that I have to get done in just a short few hours. I am getting ready for the divorce and I must protect myself. I am very embarrassed that I must drag my friends into this and ask for some help, even though it is just minor help. Three years ago be...	ditto	2	502	Apr 4, 2006 by aunitedway
	I feel like I'm in crisis (Preview) Hi, I'm pretty new here. I'm going to a meeting tonight, and don't have a sponsor yet. I am pretty much freaking out. I realize it's screwed up - my A husband and I have been married 11 years - (recovery 1 year equals obviously rocky marraige) He is now saying he thin...	Mollyd	9	705	Apr 4, 2006 by Mollyd
	my physical address (help) (Preview) someone that I sent some lit to a few weeks ago asked to send me something back ~ I took 3 weeks away from the chat room & 2 or so off of the Board, partly due to regression but mostly from the accident & I was trying to think about my life, needs, wants, desires. Anyway,...	kitty	1	571	Apr 4, 2006 by Becky1
	setting free (Preview) Hello all: it has been a while since I posted, I have been trying to get to more f2f meetings and working on things day to day. My A is still home and has 103 days clean. He has been working his program, me mine. He has been out of work since leaving rehab, taking care of...	Kim	5	564	Apr 4, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Should I Stay OR Should I go? (Preview) Before I found this site, I saw things more in black and white. If you are being verbally and emotionally abused, get OUT! I spent a lot of time on abuse sites, and I could blatantly see that I was with an abuser. He fit the description to a 'T', but I kept wondering...	HadEnuff	7	591	Apr 4, 2006 by emma
	Grandfather's passing (Preview) Hiya friends, I am not sure where to start with this post so I will jump in with both feet. Today I received news that my grandfather on my dad's side of the family passed away. I am sad but not surprised. My grandfather was quite elderly and in poor health. He passed away gently and peacefully. I will mis...	bob6502	19	565	Apr 4, 2006 by emma
	And Light Dawns... (Preview) upon this marble head of mine. Sometimes we can be so thick-headed that we can't get out of our own way. This has been me for some time now. Beating my head against the wall thinking things will change if I keep doing it. The classic definition of insanity. Things have been c...	AlaMom	2	457	Apr 4, 2006 by Maria123
	Just Need to Talk Today..depressed (Preview) Just thought I would jot down a few words today. I am not feeling very well spritually or emotionally. I am really trying to get out of debt (a HUGE problem for me)...has been since I am 14 yrs. old. It seems like everytime I make a step or two (like everything else in my life)...the dis...	Scamper	10	501	Apr 4, 2006 by Lexie
	yeah, i can forgive mom (Preview) Edited for copyright infraction. -- Edited by jrtjosey at 15:08, 2006-04-04	rosie light shines	0	393	Apr 4, 2006 by rosie light shines
	enabling? (Preview) I'm learning about enabling. First, my hub & me have very different ways of cooking. His is more elaborate, full meals. Mine are more simple dishes, & not as much food. I offer to cook dinner so that it's done @ a decent time. But the hub states he'll do it,...	DeAnna	4	480	Apr 4, 2006 by Jeannie
	I told my son everything (Preview) Last Thurs my A husband didn't come home. I wasn't surprise when he didn't come home all weekend. I figured he was off getting high again and probably lost his job in the process. So Saturday I sat down w/my 12 year old son and opened up to him. I could see how much his dad's behav...	QOD	9	754	Apr 4, 2006 by QOD
	Tough Time (Preview) Hi All, I haven't been around for awhile as lots has been happening. Mainly with my Mum. She has been unwell again these last few weeks and was operated on last Sat. The surgeon warned us it would be a big op, a Whipples Procedure (the surgeon said it was equivalent in size to a heart transp...	Feather	7	589	Apr 4, 2006 by maresie
	looking after ourselves (Preview) I get a weekly newsletter from an arts related source and this struck me as wonderful in that it it is like the alanon programme in the way that we strive to look after ourselves and look for the best. Hope you all enjoy as much as I did hugs iona54 Focusing the mind on a higher purpo...	iona54	0	417	Apr 4, 2006 by iona54
	How long is this ride? (Preview) Hello Roomies, Well, the ride continues. My "A" and I had a wonderful weekend. We spent family time together, spent quality time together, and he was sober all weekend. He cut ties off from his "friends" on Wednesday after they returned the car completely out of gas, and it also had stolen prope...	Dolphin123	7	508	Apr 4, 2006 by leo
	Looking for a sponsor (Preview) Hi, I am looking for a sponsor. Hoping to find another woman who has an active alcoholic husband. It is a different life living with an active spouse. I live is a small farming community, the closest Alanon meetings are 20 miles away, plus I work evening shift that makes it doubly hard to get to f2f meetin...	horselover58	3	454	Apr 4, 2006 by horselover58
	I chose these lessons (Preview) I have some strange views for a westerner, I have read Zen since I was 16, after surviving my first suicide attempt. I do believe I came into this family, had these hardships, married an addict, it was all in God's divine plan... for me to disocver the love in me, the divinity or spark of God t...	kitty	5	615	Apr 4, 2006 by kitty
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.