Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Theresa · Theresa

I have been in and out of al-anon so many times, it is not funny. Of course I only come around when I have a crisis. I can feel myself definitely going in a different direction than what I am accustomed to regarding my husband and his relapses. I really feel that he doesn't want to get be...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Lifes terms are hitting me pretty brutally right now. All mostly minor BS but a lot of it all at once. One major issue came up concerning my husband. I found out yesterday afternoon quite by accident that he lied about seeing a Dr for what was potentially a major medica...

purpleraven · purpleraven

hi, i've been absent and not able to read and reply like i was hoping to! 2 busy, overwhelming weeks ... i got sole custody of my daughter last Friday! with the ex getting only supervised visitation. that was a huge relief. then, he just got fired from his job, and i just found out 3 days ago that he's gettin...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Had an interesting mini-vacation the last couple of days. Due to schedules we ended up going to a lake house for the last few nights. I didn't anticipate there being any "bonding" with my active AW since she out of the blue earlier in the week asked "... So if I went to re...

Diva · Diva

Anyone have any opinions on this Mel Gibson fiasco? He is coming very close to proving a point I touched on. He said his DWI, "just happened." As if HE had nothing to do with it. It was the alcohol that took him to the bar, (or wherever he was) made him drink, got the keys out of his pocket, started his car, and...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

I just want to thank my HP that I have this board to help keep my stuff down to the right size. I get a real sense of perspective as I read and ponder just what each and every one of you fine men and women are going through, have gone through, and how you use the tools to cope and grow. I do a lot of reading here. I...

sld488 · sld488

I got so excited, I just recieved my copy of Courage to Change. I began reading from the beginning. After I finished the month of January, I thought to myself, I better slow down and take it "one day at a time"

But what a wonderful bo...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi everyone))) Thought we could start a self-care thread. What are your plans for this weekend to take care of you? I am: Cleaning the house tonite and listening to my new cds (Funky Brian Jonestown Massacre, Rolling Stones and Sarah McLachlan); Tomorrow going hiking with my two w...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I think I will adopt this as my new slogan, I actually found a plaque with this on it. "Blessed is ye who expects nothing for ye shall never be disappointed" I went on my vacation. I had expected my niece to have called or stop by like she said she would when and if I came up some 300 to 400 miles. We...

shadow1 · shadow1

Hi (((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))) As most of you had asked me for an update on my surgeries. I’m going to disillusion you about our great Canadian health care system. As far as my back surgery goes, it looks like I have to wait the 6 months to get in to see the surgeon for another consultat...

evey · evey

I've heard this and read it here, but don't really know what it means. Thanks, evey

Hopefloats · Hopefloats

I try so to let my buttons not be pushed by my Mom and older brother. I've tried simply staying away.They put me on a guilt trip and I stupidly allow it to happen. I had to take her to an MD appt. today and she just kept bringing up my brother this and that. I stayed cool as long as I could. My...

debilyn · debilyn

Nope have not heard a word. Got on med that is tearing the H out of my gut.. But today I dragged myself out and dug out the mudhole bigger. Thinking how strange I am. Out there in a gauze dress and leather flipflops slopping out the pigs waller! I did this for me. Funny, doing things for us. How what we mig...

megan · megan

Hello friends old and new I am getting a divorce from my active A. I filed August 2005 and went to court in April. Now we are coming down to the final settlement and my nerves are shot. My lawyer goes to court tomorrow and he tells me this today at 11:15 and that is when he shows me the revised s...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone: Just had to get some things out. I am sad. The other day I was angry, now I'm just sad... A and I are not connecting, drifting further and further apart. He is working sometimes, gone "running errands" most nights. He calls me on my cel phone and doesn't leave...

mandalynn38 · mandalynn38

Just an update on what I have decided what is BEST for me. I found this site 6 months ago or so. I have been here off and on for the past few months I have sat in many meetings online and have only went to one f2f meeting. I had an A/BF and his ex wife was there at the meeting. They had been divorced for over 10 yea...

annmarie · annmarie

I've noticed that I can sometimes get quite nasty with my Aboyfriend, and this is really starting to bother me. I am not a nasty person at all, but sometimes he just won't stop bickering and finding fault....and i suppose I just get really irate. Normally, I walk away, tune out etc, but if we're on a c...

pennylove · pennylove

Hi, I have been looking all night for a al-anon meeting to attend in mississippi. I come from a very long history of drug addicts and alcholics and it was not until recently that I have discovered that I have a major problem with enabling the addicts in my life I love them very much but it's th...

John · John

Hello everyone, This is to update you on the progress of the Miracles In Progress Cook Book. It is still be put together. I am getting 365 inspirations and motivational thoughts to put with all the recipes. I am having to be very careful for copywrites. This has become a bi...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I just went into a post that I posted and noticed that I had a typo typed mush instead of much

lol big difference there. I can't edit my post that option is gone, but it was there earlier because earlier today I edited a reply on another post. Does anyone else see this or not see it?:...

Kyann · Kyann

I was looking for dates of meetings and found this Regular Al-Anon Meeting - Regular meeting, not an Alateen, Newcomers, Adult Child Focus, etc. Closed Discussion (CD) - Limited to members and prospective member. These are persons who feel their lives have been or are being deeply affec...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((((((Hi roomies)))))))))))), Alot of times when we are in meetings we are reminded that certain terms such as ACOA, or taking from a book (such as More on the Language of Letting Go) is not an Alanon term, or is not conference approved liturature. What is "approved lit" or "accepted...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

I received a letter today stating that I am being CONSIDERED for an accelerated nursing program that I applied for... Just one last interview, and home-free

August 19th. I have fought hard as a double-winner to grow in as many ways as I possibly can, and this would be the icing on the cake!!...

lilms · lilms

Do any of the rest of you experience this??? My other half often uses humour as a weapon. I am finding more and more that something not quite inappropriate but not appropriate either will come out of her mouth. If I mention it I hear "you just don't have a sense of humour" It is starting t...

serendipity · serendipity

i had just read and replyed to diva's post last night and thought i'd go read then sleep. but as i was turning off the tv the host and the guest were discussing the mel gibson thing and the disease. so i sat and watched the segment. the host apparently is a recovering(?) alcholic and spoke from that point of...

bluebjade · bluebjade

Hello, everyone. My AH was off work Fri. thru Mon. Of course it was a four day drunk. He spent half a day with me and the rest with his drinking buddy. It may sound weird, but I was kinda glad he was gone, because I haven't been feeling well. Him and his buddy came in about...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

"Often anger is a sign of engagement with life. People who are angered are touched deeply by the events of their lives and feel strongly about them. As an emotion, it has limitations and it certainly has very bad press, but my experience with ill people suggests that there is something healthy about it...

sandie123 · sandie123

It's been a tough week! I've done a whole lot of digging and finding things I haven't liked or enjoyed. There have been a lot of memories resurfacing, a lot of feelings, a lot of pain and a lot of awareness’s. I began my week wanting to remove the entire program from my brain, then wanted to get away from me,...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I haven't been on much since Saturday. We had a packed day at church on Sunday. Monday I was putting the final touches on a going away party that I had planned for my co-worker, who is also my best friend. She and her family are moving to Michigan. I haven't posted about it because I haven't allo...

Diva · Diva

about some tenets of AlAnon. Most pointedly that we need to remember the "alcohol is speaking." Is it really a teaching of Al Anon that we should dismiss any unkind, deceitful, hateful talk the "disease" talks, blaming it on the "disease", and excusing it for that reason? I don't quite get this prem...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I was scheduled to attend a conference in Las Vegas last week. My burdens were heavy so I figured that I needed to do something different to get different results. The Grand Canyon is close to my home (as opposed to most visitors). I took the long way around and went through the Grand Cany...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, Last night was a weird night. I had asked help from a funding source to help pay for part of the car repair, and that came through. They are going to pay some of it.

I also got news that they thought my car was going to be ready yesterday (Tuesday), but when they test drove it, the tranny...

maire rua · maire rua

How can I stop certain people treating me like a door mat and acting with no consideration. Today I dropped my son off at the airport, had informed people I would be late for work,yet the minute I came in the door, they descended on me with last minute requests. It really irritates me that people can const...

sparkette · sparkette

I tried something different today when I came to the board. Instead of posting first and reading your wonderful shares second… I decided to listen to y’all first and then see how that felt. What occurs to me is that I need to remember that multiple perspectives and encouragement are another way of allo...

Becky1 · Becky1

Sunday morning he had to go to work for a couple of hours. He got home, made us breakfast. I was just doing housework, and mentioned to him I'd like to paint the bedroom. He said really snappy "I don't care WHAT color you paint it" and I asked why he was being so mean, he said, well, he was...

debilyn · debilyn

Lets add sick to that. It hit me today, now i know what is making me not bounce back. I am sick. My tooth has hurt for weeks now. Have no dental insurance as medicare is all. So I have a tooth infection, no wonder I keep having nightmares and waking up feeling crummy.duh. Called around, I am on dis...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone! Thought I would let you know about some progress I have been making. Yesterday I was angry, so angry. Angry when I left AH in the morning - the last thing I told him was the smell of alcohol made me sick to my stomach and I was beginning to fall out of love with him because of his dr...

mac57 · mac57

Sweet friend in my soul, my teacher, my liaison to myself, thank you for being in my life. I smile as I ponder this “spiritual urgency” as I am reminded that my spirit is not bound by the confines of time. And yet, I thank you for the help I am about to receive, and for which I eagerly await. I am rem...

sdisnie · sdisnie

So i've been doing what i'm supposed to do, let him figure it out on his own, he ran out of money, had no transportation and nowhere to go during day 5 of the binge, so last resort, ended up at the mom and dad's house (alcoholic activity there) Spoke with him yesterday, said he was trying to detox hims...

Cyn · Cyn

Saw my therapist yesterday and asked for assistance in making sure I was asserting myself properly. She said the timing was wrong - but that I am doing the right thing. I told her I didnt want to treat my boyfriend like a child - because he isnt a child. She said "sometimes they are - an...

Jill · Jill

Where does my anger come from? I don’t have a lot of experience with it until recently. I feel like a marionette, completely not in control. I’m a SHREW! Hating it, too. Any ESH is welcome. Tonight was bad!

jres · jres

to detach and yet still cohabitate with an A spouse? When there are very young children involved, they will no doubt be affected negatively right? To me this just seems like enabling, and I am having a very hard time understanding the concept. How can I love th...

MSKM301 · MSKM301

My husband has been using for at least 6yrs that I know of. He goes on binges lasting 4-18 hrs then a few weeks could go by before it happens again. He has gone months, but then the cycle starts again. He is young, but has major medical issues on top of using. I have been a stay at home mom for 5yrs, but have deci...

sandie123 · sandie123

I was talking to a friends last night. We were talking about fear and this led us into anorexia. It sent me into a panic, so I knew there was more than meets the eye on this topic. To start with I dislike food. It always seems like things revolve around food and this gets me so angry. I would be happy not ea...

hersh · hersh

Why does this feel so bad??? Everything was fine lastnight. I went to a face to face meeting, had a good time. I was calm. Then came home and AH was gone, fine. I figured he was out again, I just wanted to sleep. He comes home, buzzed, not really drunk, wants to...

Mike5056 · Mike5056

In our house my partner has cornered this room as her den. Obstensibly it is somewhere she can go to smoke as she is the only smoker in the family. Effectively however she uses it as her bolt hole where none of the family will bother her until she decides to take part in family life. At that point family life...

Cyn · Cyn

I know we are all in our own situation - my situation is one that I am not with an A anymore - but because of my previous relationships with A's I have to relearn correct ways to do things. I asserted myself last night, I feel like I give too much and not get anything in return - which is 100% my own faul...

jeeves · jeeves

Any luck with couples counseling? My A wife has spent time about four of the past 18 months in rehabs and is not working any sort of program at all. The one thing I can get her to do is go to a marriage counselor with me. The counselor is very good and we are learning h...

Cyn · Cyn

I started a post last night about asserting myself and got a phone call from my boyfriend and had to finish it quickly. Needless to say - the conversation ended VERY badly once again. I have to say this first - I am not ignorant to the fact that my boyfriend is going through some stressful sit...

kathy570 · kathy570

Hi there, I am in the process of filing out my ODSP papperwork and one of the problem I am having is depression. I am trying to write the self report and as I am writting about all the thibgs I can't do anymore or how & where my body hurts - I get really upset and can't write it. I already suffer f...

tishrijo · tishrijo

I was on the phone yesterday with my Mom and she made a comment that at first made me angry but then started me to thinking.....I am in the process of separating from my husband....I made the mistake at 17 years old of giving up everything and putting 150% into my marriage and family. I forgot to sav...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

I have WORTH TODAY... Why?? Not because my house is meticulously clean 24/7.... it's not. Not because I am a subservient wife, running around all day in an A-pattern skirt and apron, pretending to be June Clever..... I don't. Not because my children behave 100% of the time, are perfectly pol...

daisy2 · daisy2

The Cracked Pot A wonderful story... An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of...

omajoy · omajoy

Here it is Saturday morning. I have read all the new posts and responses and tried to glean what I need from them. I have found some relief from the weekend blues that come to our home. Our adult son is a weekend drinker and drinks alone. He always has these great plans on Friday and through the week to do thi...

Cyn · Cyn

So I finally figured out my biggest problem in life - asserting myself and getting the things I need and want and thinking about what is good for ME. A big lightbulb came on today after a fight my boyfriend and I have been having this week. We've been fighting consistently for the last couple of w...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

i just wanted to thank everyone for your replies. i already feel better just getting back on this message board with all of you. and you all have wonderful ideas that i will give a try. thank you so much. :)

Rita G · Rita G

This was given to us at the Louisiana State Al-Anon Convention. I'm sure some of you may have seen it before, but is was just so great not to share - Hope it helps you - I made a copy and put it where I could read it everyday to help me keep my focus on recovery. - Rita - Slogans In Action Just...

Reese · Reese

My son is 24 years old and he's an alcoholic. He's been out of the house for over 2 years now and has a roomate. He just ended up in the hospital with Alcohol posioning. When I went to see him, he was in restraints and on a suicide watch. I'm terrified to say the least. I know the drill. I know about enablin...

kerry5 · kerry5

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all...

Prancer · Prancer

this Loving Detachment that I hear about and how do you do it?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Newbie in Crisis (Preview) I have been in and out of al-anon so many times, it is not funny. Of course I only come around when I have a crisis. I can feel myself definitely going in a different direction than what I am accustomed to regarding my husband and his relapses. I really feel that he doesn't want to get be...	Theresa	8	889	Aug 5, 2006 by onehappycamper
	Life on Life's Terms (Preview) Lifes terms are hitting me pretty brutally right now. All mostly minor BS but a lot of it all at once. One major issue came up concerning my husband. I found out yesterday afternoon quite by accident that he lied about seeing a Dr for what was potentially a major medica...	AlaMom	4	334	Aug 5, 2006 by Tiger2006
	checking in; a question (Preview) hi, i've been absent and not able to read and reply like i was hoping to! 2 busy, overwhelming weeks ... i got sole custody of my daughter last Friday! with the ex getting only supervised visitation. that was a huge relief. then, he just got fired from his job, and i just found out 3 days ago that he's gettin...	purpleraven	4	476	Aug 5, 2006 by nmike
	Just an observation... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Had an interesting mini-vacation the last couple of days. Due to schedules we ended up going to a lake house for the last few nights. I didn't anticipate there being any "bonding" with my active AW since she out of the blue earlier in the week asked "... So if I went to re...	rtexas	5	393	Aug 5, 2006 by nmike
	Stepping on dangerous ground... (Preview) Anyone have any opinions on this Mel Gibson fiasco? He is coming very close to proving a point I touched on. He said his DWI, "just happened." As if HE had nothing to do with it. It was the alcohol that took him to the bar, (or wherever he was) made him drink, got the keys out of his pocket, started his car, and...	Diva	14	677	Aug 5, 2006 by athena12
	Me and my GONE WITH THE WIND crap.... (Preview) I just want to thank my HP that I have this board to help keep my stuff down to the right size. I get a real sense of perspective as I read and ponder just what each and every one of you fine men and women are going through, have gone through, and how you use the tools to cope and grow. I do a lot of reading here. I...	jonibaloni	4	435	Aug 5, 2006 by athena12
	Received Book! (Preview) I got so excited, I just recieved my copy of Courage to Change. I began reading from the beginning. After I finished the month of January, I thought to myself, I better slow down and take it "one day at a time" But what a wonderful bo...	sld488	3	295	Aug 5, 2006 by Christy
	What are your plans this weekend? (Preview) (((Hi everyone))) Thought we could start a self-care thread. What are your plans for this weekend to take care of you? I am: Cleaning the house tonite and listening to my new cds (Funky Brian Jonestown Massacre, Rolling Stones and Sarah McLachlan); Tomorrow going hiking with my two w...	hersh	8	406	Aug 4, 2006 by jonibaloni
	"Blessed is ye who expects nothing for ye shall never be disappointed" (Preview) I think I will adopt this as my new slogan, I actually found a plaque with this on it. "Blessed is ye who expects nothing for ye shall never be disappointed" I went on my vacation. I had expected my niece to have called or stop by like she said she would when and if I came up some 300 to 400 miles. We...	hmrnrnmm	0	335	Aug 4, 2006 by hmrnrnmm
	Update on surgeries (Preview) Hi (((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))) As most of you had asked me for an update on my surgeries. I’m going to disillusion you about our great Canadian health care system. As far as my back surgery goes, it looks like I have to wait the 6 months to get in to see the surgeon for another consultat...	shadow1	4	492	Aug 4, 2006 by shadow1
	can someone explain 13th stepping (Preview) I've heard this and read it here, but don't really know what it means. Thanks, evey	evey	6	462	Aug 4, 2006 by evey
	How to not respond tp button pushers (Preview) I try so to let my buttons not be pushed by my Mom and older brother. I've tried simply staying away.They put me on a guilt trip and I stupidly allow it to happen. I had to take her to an MD appt. today and she just kept bringing up my brother this and that. I stayed cool as long as I could. My...	Hopefloats	7	485	Aug 4, 2006 by Hopefloats
	nothing new update (Preview) Nope have not heard a word. Got on med that is tearing the H out of my gut.. But today I dragged myself out and dug out the mudhole bigger. Thinking how strange I am. Out there in a gauze dress and leather flipflops slopping out the pigs waller! I did this for me. Funny, doing things for us. How what we mig...	debilyn	5	395	Aug 4, 2006 by TLC2
	Divorce ESH anyone (Preview) Hello friends old and new I am getting a divorce from my active A. I filed August 2005 and went to court in April. Now we are coming down to the final settlement and my nerves are shot. My lawyer goes to court tomorrow and he tells me this today at 11:15 and that is when he shows me the revised s...	megan	16	507	Aug 4, 2006 by ET
	Reality is biting.... (Preview) Hi everyone: Just had to get some things out. I am sad. The other day I was angry, now I'm just sad... A and I are not connecting, drifting further and further apart. He is working sometimes, gone "running errands" most nights. He calls me on my cel phone and doesn't leave...	hersh	5	380	Aug 4, 2006 by hersh
	I am off the Crazy Train (Preview) Just an update on what I have decided what is BEST for me. I found this site 6 months ago or so. I have been here off and on for the past few months I have sat in many meetings online and have only went to one f2f meeting. I had an A/BF and his ex wife was there at the meeting. They had been divorced for over 10 yea...	mandalynn38	6	535	Aug 4, 2006 by Jewel
	my patience ran out... (Preview) I've noticed that I can sometimes get quite nasty with my Aboyfriend, and this is really starting to bother me. I am not a nasty person at all, but sometimes he just won't stop bickering and finding fault....and i suppose I just get really irate. Normally, I walk away, tune out etc, but if we're on a c...	annmarie	4	453	Aug 4, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	lost newbe (Preview) Hi, I have been looking all night for a al-anon meeting to attend in mississippi. I come from a very long history of drug addicts and alcholics and it was not until recently that I have discovered that I have a major problem with enabling the addicts in my life I love them very much but it's th...	pennylove	7	370	Aug 3, 2006 by Tammy
	cook book update 7/31/06 (Preview) Hello everyone, This is to update you on the progress of the Miracles In Progress Cook Book. It is still be put together. I am getting 365 inspirations and motivational thoughts to put with all the recipes. I am having to be very careful for copywrites. This has become a bi...	John	2	308	Aug 3, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Is Something Missing? (Preview) Hi all, I just went into a post that I posted and noticed that I had a typo typed mush instead of much lol big difference there. I can't edit my post that option is gone, but it was there earlier because earlier today I edited a reply on another post. Does anyone else see this or not see it?:...	Dolphin123	4	354	Aug 3, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Regular meetings (Preview) I was looking for dates of meetings and found this Regular Al-Anon Meeting - Regular meeting, not an Alateen, Newcomers, Adult Child Focus, etc. Closed Discussion (CD) - Limited to members and prospective member. These are persons who feel their lives have been or are being deeply affec...	Kyann	5	321	Aug 3, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Can someone explain please? (Preview) (((((((((((((Hi roomies)))))))))))), Alot of times when we are in meetings we are reminded that certain terms such as ACOA, or taking from a book (such as More on the Language of Letting Go) is not an Alanon term, or is not conference approved liturature. What is "approved lit" or "accepted...	Karilynn	9	1452	Aug 3, 2006 by Tiger2006
	HUMONGOUS PERSONAL-GOALS BLESSING (Preview) I received a letter today stating that I am being CONSIDERED for an accelerated nursing program that I applied for... Just one last interview, and home-free August 19th. I have fought hard as a double-winner to grow in as many ways as I possibly can, and this would be the icing on the cake!!...	jonibaloni	8	349	Aug 3, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Humour as a weapon (Preview) Do any of the rest of you experience this??? My other half often uses humour as a weapon. I am finding more and more that something not quite inappropriate but not appropriate either will come out of her mouth. If I mention it I hear "you just don't have a sense of humour" It is starting t...	lilms	3	370	Aug 3, 2006 by tea2
	what i learn staying up late (Preview) i had just read and replyed to diva's post last night and thought i'd go read then sleep. but as i was turning off the tv the host and the guest were discussing the mel gibson thing and the disease. so i sat and watched the segment. the host apparently is a recovering(?) alcholic and spoke from that point of...	serendipity	5	463	Aug 3, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Tired of the vicioius circle (Preview) Hello, everyone. My AH was off work Fri. thru Mon. Of course it was a four day drunk. He spent half a day with me and the rest with his drinking buddy. It may sound weird, but I was kinda glad he was gone, because I haven't been feeling well. Him and his buddy came in about...	bluebjade	9	529	Aug 3, 2006 by bluebjade
	"ANGER", Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. (Preview) "Often anger is a sign of engagement with life. People who are angered are touched deeply by the events of their lives and feel strongly about them. As an emotion, it has limitations and it certainly has very bad press, but my experience with ill people suggests that there is something healthy about it...	jonibaloni	4	1306	Aug 3, 2006 by annmarie
	Thank You for this program!!! (Preview) It's been a tough week! I've done a whole lot of digging and finding things I haven't liked or enjoyed. There have been a lot of memories resurfacing, a lot of feelings, a lot of pain and a lot of awareness’s. I began my week wanting to remove the entire program from my brain, then wanted to get away from me,...	sandie123	3	386	Aug 3, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Feeling Blue (Preview) Hi all, I haven't been on much since Saturday. We had a packed day at church on Sunday. Monday I was putting the final touches on a going away party that I had planned for my co-worker, who is also my best friend. She and her family are moving to Michigan. I haven't posted about it because I haven't allo...	Dolphin123	9	509	Aug 3, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	It has occurred to me to wonder... (Preview) about some tenets of AlAnon. Most pointedly that we need to remember the "alcohol is speaking." Is it really a teaching of Al Anon that we should dismiss any unkind, deceitful, hateful talk the "disease" talks, blaming it on the "disease", and excusing it for that reason? I don't quite get this prem...	Diva	11	532	Aug 3, 2006 by isabela40
	When in doubt go to the Grand Canyon! (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I was scheduled to attend a conference in Las Vegas last week. My burdens were heavy so I figured that I needed to do something different to get different results. The Grand Canyon is close to my home (as opposed to most visitors). I took the long way around and went through the Grand Cany...	nmike	8	674	Aug 3, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	Emotional Night (Preview) Hi all, Last night was a weird night. I had asked help from a funding source to help pay for part of the car repair, and that came through. They are going to pay some of it. I also got news that they thought my car was going to be ready yesterday (Tuesday), but when they test drove it, the tranny...	Dolphin123	8	410	Aug 3, 2006 by isabela40
	Doormat situation (Preview) How can I stop certain people treating me like a door mat and acting with no consideration. Today I dropped my son off at the airport, had informed people I would be late for work,yet the minute I came in the door, they descended on me with last minute requests. It really irritates me that people can const...	maire rua	6	375	Aug 3, 2006 by maire rua
	Da Board (Preview) I tried something different today when I came to the board. Instead of posting first and reading your wonderful shares second… I decided to listen to y’all first and then see how that felt. What occurs to me is that I need to remember that multiple perspectives and encouragement are another way of allo...	sparkette	4	343	Aug 3, 2006 by abbyal
	I Hate Weekends (Preview) Sunday morning he had to go to work for a couple of hours. He got home, made us breakfast. I was just doing housework, and mentioned to him I'd like to paint the bedroom. He said really snappy "I don't care WHAT color you paint it" and I asked why he was being so mean, he said, well, he was...	Becky1	7	390	Aug 2, 2006 by maresie2
	should be HALTS (Preview) Lets add sick to that. It hit me today, now i know what is making me not bounce back. I am sick. My tooth has hurt for weeks now. Have no dental insurance as medicare is all. So I have a tooth infection, no wonder I keep having nightmares and waking up feeling crummy.duh. Called around, I am on dis...	debilyn	9	399	Aug 2, 2006 by maresie2
	Anger ceasing.... (Preview) Hi everyone! Thought I would let you know about some progress I have been making. Yesterday I was angry, so angry. Angry when I left AH in the morning - the last thing I told him was the smell of alcohol made me sick to my stomach and I was beginning to fall out of love with him because of his dr...	hersh	4	266	Aug 2, 2006 by Tammy
	a few questions for HP (Preview) Sweet friend in my soul, my teacher, my liaison to myself, thank you for being in my life. I smile as I ponder this “spiritual urgency” as I am reminded that my spirit is not bound by the confines of time. And yet, I thank you for the help I am about to receive, and for which I eagerly await. I am rem...	mac57	5	396	Aug 2, 2006 by Andrea12
	When is it Intervening to save a life vs. intervening and enabling (Preview) So i've been doing what i'm supposed to do, let him figure it out on his own, he ran out of money, had no transportation and nowhere to go during day 5 of the binge, so last resort, ended up at the mom and dad's house (alcoholic activity there) Spoke with him yesterday, said he was trying to detox hims...	sdisnie	9	545	Aug 2, 2006 by evey
	Went to my therapist (Preview) Saw my therapist yesterday and asked for assistance in making sure I was asserting myself properly. She said the timing was wrong - but that I am doing the right thing. I told her I didnt want to treat my boyfriend like a child - because he isnt a child. She said "sometimes they are - an...	Cyn	0	343	Aug 2, 2006 by Cyn
	help with anger (Preview) Where does my anger come from? I don’t have a lot of experience with it until recently. I feel like a marionette, completely not in control. I’m a SHREW! Hating it, too. Any ESH is welcome. Tonight was bad!	Jill	4	351	Aug 2, 2006 by hersh
	how is it possible? (Preview) to detach and yet still cohabitate with an A spouse? When there are very young children involved, they will no doubt be affected negatively right? To me this just seems like enabling, and I am having a very hard time understanding the concept. How can I love th...	jres	2	371	Aug 2, 2006 by nmike
	totally disgusted (Preview) My husband has been using for at least 6yrs that I know of. He goes on binges lasting 4-18 hrs then a few weeks could go by before it happens again. He has gone months, but then the cycle starts again. He is young, but has major medical issues on top of using. I have been a stay at home mom for 5yrs, but have deci...	MSKM301	7	339	Aug 2, 2006 by MSKM301
	Anorexia or Eating Disorder? (Preview) I was talking to a friends last night. We were talking about fear and this led us into anorexia. It sent me into a panic, so I knew there was more than meets the eye on this topic. To start with I dislike food. It always seems like things revolve around food and this gets me so angry. I would be happy not ea...	sandie123	7	662	Aug 1, 2006 by mastiff
	Guilt and ups and downs!! (Preview) Why does this feel so bad??? Everything was fine lastnight. I went to a face to face meeting, had a good time. I was calm. Then came home and AH was gone, fine. I figured he was out again, I just wanted to sleep. He comes home, buzzed, not really drunk, wants to...	hersh	3	440	Aug 1, 2006 by hersh
	Avoiding getting dragged into the morass. (Preview) In our house my partner has cornered this room as her den. Obstensibly it is somewhere she can go to smoke as she is the only smoker in the family. Effectively however she uses it as her bolt hole where none of the family will bother her until she decides to take part in family life. At that point family life...	Mike5056	7	554	Aug 1, 2006 by RichardA
	Asserting myself cont. (Preview) I know we are all in our own situation - my situation is one that I am not with an A anymore - but because of my previous relationships with A's I have to relearn correct ways to do things. I asserted myself last night, I feel like I give too much and not get anything in return - which is 100% my own faul...	Cyn	4	365	Aug 1, 2006 by rtexas
	Please Help. (Preview) Any luck with couples counseling? My A wife has spent time about four of the past 18 months in rehabs and is not working any sort of program at all. The one thing I can get her to do is go to a marriage counselor with me. The counselor is very good and we are learning h...	jeeves	10	502	Aug 1, 2006 by Becky1
	Not giving in (Preview) I started a post last night about asserting myself and got a phone call from my boyfriend and had to finish it quickly. Needless to say - the conversation ended VERY badly once again. I have to say this first - I am not ignorant to the fact that my boyfriend is going through some stressful sit...	Cyn	2	254	Aug 1, 2006 by mandalynn38
	I am so lost and tired of life (Preview) Hi there, I am in the process of filing out my ODSP papperwork and one of the problem I am having is depression. I am trying to write the self report and as I am writting about all the thibgs I can't do anymore or how & where my body hurts - I get really upset and can't write it. I already suffer f...	kathy570	8	540	Aug 1, 2006 by gardengal
	Please share your Experience/Ideas (Preview) I was on the phone yesterday with my Mom and she made a comment that at first made me angry but then started me to thinking.....I am in the process of separating from my husband....I made the mistake at 17 years old of giving up everything and putting 150% into my marriage and family. I forgot to sav...	tishrijo	10	352	Aug 1, 2006 by Tiger2006
	REMINDER for us WOMEN..... (Preview) I have WORTH TODAY... Why?? Not because my house is meticulously clean 24/7.... it's not. Not because I am a subservient wife, running around all day in an A-pattern skirt and apron, pretending to be June Clever..... I don't. Not because my children behave 100% of the time, are perfectly pol...	jonibaloni	6	418	Aug 1, 2006 by isabela40
	a wonderful story (Preview) The Cracked Pot A wonderful story... An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of...	daisy2	5	307	Aug 1, 2006 by daisy2
	Sharing the emotions (Preview) Here it is Saturday morning. I have read all the new posts and responses and tried to glean what I need from them. I have found some relief from the weekend blues that come to our home. Our adult son is a weekend drinker and drinks alone. He always has these great plans on Friday and through the week to do thi...	omajoy	3	398	Aug 1, 2006 by Mike5056
	Asserting yourself (Preview) So I finally figured out my biggest problem in life - asserting myself and getting the things I need and want and thinking about what is good for ME. A big lightbulb came on today after a fight my boyfriend and I have been having this week. We've been fighting consistently for the last couple of w...	Cyn	3	308	Aug 1, 2006 by annmarie
	thank you (Preview) i just wanted to thank everyone for your replies. i already feel better just getting back on this message board with all of you. and you all have wonderful ideas that i will give a try. thank you so much. :)	notsonew1111	1	273	Aug 1, 2006 by Becky1
	Slogans in Action (Preview) This was given to us at the Louisiana State Al-Anon Convention. I'm sure some of you may have seen it before, but is was just so great not to share - Hope it helps you - I made a copy and put it where I could read it everyday to help me keep my focus on recovery. - Rita - Slogans In Action Just...	Rita G	4	471	Aug 1, 2006 by annmarie
	Help with my son (Preview) My son is 24 years old and he's an alcoholic. He's been out of the house for over 2 years now and has a roomate. He just ended up in the hospital with Alcohol posioning. When I went to see him, he was in restraints and on a suicide watch. I'm terrified to say the least. I know the drill. I know about enablin...	Reese	8	504	Aug 1, 2006 by doxie
	Need Washing?? (Preview) A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all...	kerry5	6	340	Jul 31, 2006 by Ria
	What is (Preview) this Loving Detachment that I hear about and how do you do it?	Prancer	2	298	Jul 31, 2006 by debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.