Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sdisnie · sdisnie

So i've been doing what i'm supposed to do, let him figure it out on his own, he ran out of money, had no transportation and nowhere to go during day 5 of the binge, so last resort, ended up at the mom and dad's house (alcoholic activity there) Spoke with him yesterday, said he was trying to detox hims...

Cyn · Cyn

Saw my therapist yesterday and asked for assistance in making sure I was asserting myself properly. She said the timing was wrong - but that I am doing the right thing. I told her I didnt want to treat my boyfriend like a child - because he isnt a child. She said "sometimes they are - an...

Jill · Jill

Where does my anger come from? I don’t have a lot of experience with it until recently. I feel like a marionette, completely not in control. I’m a SHREW! Hating it, too. Any ESH is welcome. Tonight was bad!

jres · jres

to detach and yet still cohabitate with an A spouse? When there are very young children involved, they will no doubt be affected negatively right? To me this just seems like enabling, and I am having a very hard time understanding the concept. How can I love th...

MSKM301 · MSKM301

My husband has been using for at least 6yrs that I know of. He goes on binges lasting 4-18 hrs then a few weeks could go by before it happens again. He has gone months, but then the cycle starts again. He is young, but has major medical issues on top of using. I have been a stay at home mom for 5yrs, but have deci...

sandie123 · sandie123

I was talking to a friends last night. We were talking about fear and this led us into anorexia. It sent me into a panic, so I knew there was more than meets the eye on this topic. To start with I dislike food. It always seems like things revolve around food and this gets me so angry. I would be happy not ea...

hersh · hersh

Why does this feel so bad??? Everything was fine lastnight. I went to a face to face meeting, had a good time. I was calm. Then came home and AH was gone, fine. I figured he was out again, I just wanted to sleep. He comes home, buzzed, not really drunk, wants to...

Mike5056 · Mike5056

In our house my partner has cornered this room as her den. Obstensibly it is somewhere she can go to smoke as she is the only smoker in the family. Effectively however she uses it as her bolt hole where none of the family will bother her until she decides to take part in family life. At that point family life...

Cyn · Cyn

I know we are all in our own situation - my situation is one that I am not with an A anymore - but because of my previous relationships with A's I have to relearn correct ways to do things. I asserted myself last night, I feel like I give too much and not get anything in return - which is 100% my own faul...

jeeves · jeeves

Any luck with couples counseling? My A wife has spent time about four of the past 18 months in rehabs and is not working any sort of program at all. The one thing I can get her to do is go to a marriage counselor with me. The counselor is very good and we are learning h...

Cyn · Cyn

I started a post last night about asserting myself and got a phone call from my boyfriend and had to finish it quickly. Needless to say - the conversation ended VERY badly once again. I have to say this first - I am not ignorant to the fact that my boyfriend is going through some stressful sit...

kathy570 · kathy570

Hi there, I am in the process of filing out my ODSP papperwork and one of the problem I am having is depression. I am trying to write the self report and as I am writting about all the thibgs I can't do anymore or how & where my body hurts - I get really upset and can't write it. I already suffer f...

tishrijo · tishrijo

I was on the phone yesterday with my Mom and she made a comment that at first made me angry but then started me to thinking.....I am in the process of separating from my husband....I made the mistake at 17 years old of giving up everything and putting 150% into my marriage and family. I forgot to sav...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

I have WORTH TODAY... Why?? Not because my house is meticulously clean 24/7.... it's not. Not because I am a subservient wife, running around all day in an A-pattern skirt and apron, pretending to be June Clever..... I don't. Not because my children behave 100% of the time, are perfectly pol...

daisy2 · daisy2

The Cracked Pot A wonderful story... An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of...

omajoy · omajoy

Here it is Saturday morning. I have read all the new posts and responses and tried to glean what I need from them. I have found some relief from the weekend blues that come to our home. Our adult son is a weekend drinker and drinks alone. He always has these great plans on Friday and through the week to do thi...

Cyn · Cyn

So I finally figured out my biggest problem in life - asserting myself and getting the things I need and want and thinking about what is good for ME. A big lightbulb came on today after a fight my boyfriend and I have been having this week. We've been fighting consistently for the last couple of w...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

i just wanted to thank everyone for your replies. i already feel better just getting back on this message board with all of you. and you all have wonderful ideas that i will give a try. thank you so much. :)

Rita G · Rita G

This was given to us at the Louisiana State Al-Anon Convention. I'm sure some of you may have seen it before, but is was just so great not to share - Hope it helps you - I made a copy and put it where I could read it everyday to help me keep my focus on recovery. - Rita - Slogans In Action Just...

Reese · Reese

My son is 24 years old and he's an alcoholic. He's been out of the house for over 2 years now and has a roomate. He just ended up in the hospital with Alcohol posioning. When I went to see him, he was in restraints and on a suicide watch. I'm terrified to say the least. I know the drill. I know about enablin...

kerry5 · kerry5

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all...

Prancer · Prancer

this Loving Detachment that I hear about and how do you do it?

somethingtobemadabout · somethingtobemadabout

Hello - I am new to this board and am happy to have found it. I grew up with an alcoholic father, and thought I was OK with it. However I recently found out the person I thought was the love of my life, is also an alcoholic and suffers from depression. Long story short, I know he loves me - the...

omajoy · omajoy

Is there any way any of you have found to get your loved one into AA? Mine is a tough case, I guess. I have pointblank asked him to please attend meetings just to see if he could find help. He sometimes expresses that he wants to end the weekend drinking, he is sick of the way things are, and he "probably" need...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi roomies, Well last night during the meeting my hubby called from Alaska to say that he was at the air port in Dutch Harbor and he would be flying into the airport here at 6:30am. Poor guy the first words out of my mouth were not loving kind words of a woman happy to have her hubby coming home my fir...

GreenGem · GreenGem

Just found you all and wanted to say hi. I have lurked on various al-anon boards over the years. This time I am going to try to stay. I have been married to my A for almost 15 years. He has just recently starting going to AA, and I fully support that. Our children need to see him sober...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Binge drinking is terrible part of alcoholism. Of course any type of alcoholism is bad, but with binge drinking you do get a taste of the real person underneath the disease. The binge drinker i know doesn't drink everyday, doesn't come home after work and drink until they pass out, doesn...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

I feeling like my life just exploded. This afternoon I got a call from a nurse at a local clinic telling me that my Father was being taken by ambulance to the ER for a Heart Attack. My first reaction was where was my mother -- that was why she was calling. My mother has suffered fo...

debilyn · debilyn

I have myself back ok for the moment. But need to share/vent. A has not called again that I know of. Hearing, "you cannot rationalize insanity." In the Big Book I learned, along with get on program or die, was they also can go insane, no return kind. Anyway first I want to say, I was in the shower, aft...

cd2005 · cd2005

This is my first time on the board. My husband is an alcoholic but refuses to admit it. He hasn't worked in about 3 years because of health problems, some relating to his drinking. Though he won't admit he drinks, he's constantly talking about how he probably won't be around in 3 or 4...

Prancer · Prancer

Hello everyone. I came upon this place last night. Spoke to a few people and went to my first al-anon meeting in my city last night. I even participated briefly in the meeting this morning. There is so much to learn. I understand that he is sick. I have dealt with A's alo my li...

canadianguy · canadianguy

A little "gentle reflection" here.... Hi gang.... does anybody else struggle with that fine line that we often walk on here, between being supportive and loving to each other, vs. trying not to be giving advice, vs. almost 'enabling' each other in our journies of recovery? I try very hard...

whitie · whitie

My family had a reunuion this week in my home town and I was looking forward to spending my first reunion without my A husband since I left him last fall. My sister in law (sober 3 yrs) wanted to comfort me about my seperation as she had been through one several yrs ago before she met my brother. The...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

If you haven't listened to them yet, do yourself a favor take the time to listen to them. I have listened to the first two and they are great. The second tape helped me put step 4 into perspective.

bluebjade · bluebjade

Hi everyone, My A is in a bad mood today, I could tell when I got out of bed and looked at him. He is off work today and as usual he always has someplace to go, but before he does, he tells me just how bad I am and the children too. How do I not argue with him, when I know what he is saying is not true?&...

krise · krise

I went to a face-to-face alanon meeting Sat. a.m. I haven't been to one in probably over six months, so feeling kinda proud of myself. It was a good meeting and I think I felt comfortable, because of all of the recent posting back and forth to people on here made me realize that these are the s...

Becky1 · Becky1

A friends sent me a little email that I thought might be a fun diversion for those of you who are interested. It was kind of interesting thinking about myself for a change instead of my A! I'll start! Here we go! Have fun with this, and we might learn a little about each other we didn'...

Christy · Christy

((friends))) My husband is in Alaska working for 3 months. He's been gone since the 19th. I really miss him, especially since I got used to having him here everyday for the last few months (recovering after hospital stay). On Aug 12th, he will be 6 mo. sober..wooohooo!!! Anyway, he sent me a...

abbyal · abbyal

H - hungry A- angry L - lonley T - Tired for 20 yrs now I have heard these words and come to understand that any one of these can hinder my reovery , get all four at once and WOW !!!! HEHE had a few of those days in early recovery. Recently at a meeting I found new definitions...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, just wanted to write, i dont know, just to write lol. I've been a bit distant with the world lately so I'm trying to break out of that isolation I guess. Anyway, I was thinking about the last part of step 12 "Having had a spiritual awakining, we tried to carry this message to others and...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Okay so a thing i'm confused with on the topic of enabling, here's the scenario: If you live with a binge drinker, out of the blue they go on a binge. You don't, or haven't said "if you do this again, your out of here!" you just don't really say anything, you try to go by the alanon rules and go...

sld488 · sld488

Just got in from work and was so tickled to see the replies to my post I made this morning.

The encourgement is wonderful. Christy, thru your insight and imput I see that If I make a decision that is best for me, it is ultimately best for my son. And leaving would have on...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hi Everyone, I am having a good day today, looking forward to the weekend, hanging out with some aa and alanon friends. However, for months I have been struggling with the issue of loneliness, more of a lack of intimacy in my life. Not of the sexual nature just arms to hold me, some...

debilyn · debilyn

Well from jail that is. I guess he got out yesterday. Today a friend of mine of forty years..geesh called and he had called her to get my number. what? She would not give it to him but she said she would have me call him. Well I tried but no one answered. He said it was a phone booth. Never heard from him. ...

kerry5 · kerry5

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam tow...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Just thinking... (I really should stop that - LOL) What would things be like if I had gone to meetings and never let on to my AW. Way, Way too late for that for me, but just curious if anyone has? What was the results? Take care of you!

sld488 · sld488

I have just made major decision to stay with my A. I feel this is best for me. I have been rejoicing all day that I actually made a decision on my own (with a little insight from others) but the decision was mine. Now I have the task of telling those who will not like it. I have always just don...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hello everyone. well my a and i have been separated for about three weeks now i think. im doing kind of bad i guess. im pretty sure im doing the right thing but still miss him. the biggest problem is i have let my program slip and need to get back on track. i know i'd be feeling better by getting back into progr...

bluebjade · bluebjade

I have never been to Al-Anon or had any kind of outside help dealing with my AH. The things he does make me crazy, I don't know if it a classic case or if it is norm. but he has two people he drinks with. I can't stand to see them pulling in the driveway or their number on caller ID. And when A...

lin0606 · lin0606

There have been a lot of stories lately about bad news - A's in recovery acting badly, problems with AA, etc. I thought I'd share something small that happened in our lives, to inject a note of hope. My husband has been in recovery about three and a half years. I started alanon at the same time, becaus...

Patches · Patches

I would like to say hi to everyone, I am new here... I have an AD who is living at home w/ my mom and brother. I am an adult child and no longer live at home. I am having trouble figuring out my place in this whole situation. My AD and I do not have the greatest relationship (...

jonibaloni · jonibaloni

There is an alcoholic, not directly in my life, but indirectly there through a group I communicate with. The person I have trouble with is soooo sick... will NOT do anything to help themself, will NOT go to a meeting, will NOT go to detox... keeps drinking for days on end into oblivion and wanting everyo...

Mike5056 · Mike5056

It occurs to me the worst bit about what I live through? It isn't the anger, it isn't the resentment, it isn't the blaming, it isn't the shaming nor the self martyrdom. It is the all too brief flashes you get of what they once were. The tantalising glimpses you are shown of what might have been. It...

sandie123 · sandie123

Change... is that what is really causing me my mental struggle. Is change scaring me? I feel this want to be able to stop the knowledge I have learned. I don't want to hear those healthy new words. These new words have been flooding my head, even when I don't want to hear them. I know it...

allison · allison

My A husband who has been Gone for 8 months doesn`t understand why I need Money from him to take care of our 4 children!! He say that he has helped pay bills for 17 years and now it`s my turn to pay all the bills!! He complains about how broke he is and I say "well atleast you only have to worry about yourself..I...

horselover58 · horselover58

I want to thank all of you who prayed for my old horse, Prince Sunday night & the wee hours of Monday morning! A special thanks to Tony & Andilyn who kept me company in my time of need. I will be forever grateful for this room & it's alanon members who show their love & kindness through the m...

ollie · ollie

Just needed to say a big thanx to you. Ihave just read a site you advised bluejade to read,i have been struggling with the word alcoholic,not really and totally understanding what the hell went on, thanx to you i understand it completely ,i have been reading up as much as possible,but this site to me j...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone: Just wondering if anyone out there has lived with an active A for a long time and is happy? I mean I know you are probably happy with yourself but with the relationship??? I am fairly new, learning to detach and all of the great tools here, but, what if AH never decides to get...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	When is it Intervening to save a life vs. intervening and enabling (Preview) So i've been doing what i'm supposed to do, let him figure it out on his own, he ran out of money, had no transportation and nowhere to go during day 5 of the binge, so last resort, ended up at the mom and dad's house (alcoholic activity there) Spoke with him yesterday, said he was trying to detox hims...	sdisnie	9	518	Aug 2, 2006 by evey
	Went to my therapist (Preview) Saw my therapist yesterday and asked for assistance in making sure I was asserting myself properly. She said the timing was wrong - but that I am doing the right thing. I told her I didnt want to treat my boyfriend like a child - because he isnt a child. She said "sometimes they are - an...	Cyn	0	315	Aug 2, 2006 by Cyn
	help with anger (Preview) Where does my anger come from? I don’t have a lot of experience with it until recently. I feel like a marionette, completely not in control. I’m a SHREW! Hating it, too. Any ESH is welcome. Tonight was bad!	Jill	4	319	Aug 2, 2006 by hersh
	how is it possible? (Preview) to detach and yet still cohabitate with an A spouse? When there are very young children involved, they will no doubt be affected negatively right? To me this just seems like enabling, and I am having a very hard time understanding the concept. How can I love th...	jres	2	340	Aug 2, 2006 by nmike
	totally disgusted (Preview) My husband has been using for at least 6yrs that I know of. He goes on binges lasting 4-18 hrs then a few weeks could go by before it happens again. He has gone months, but then the cycle starts again. He is young, but has major medical issues on top of using. I have been a stay at home mom for 5yrs, but have deci...	MSKM301	7	320	Aug 2, 2006 by MSKM301
	Anorexia or Eating Disorder? (Preview) I was talking to a friends last night. We were talking about fear and this led us into anorexia. It sent me into a panic, so I knew there was more than meets the eye on this topic. To start with I dislike food. It always seems like things revolve around food and this gets me so angry. I would be happy not ea...	sandie123	7	635	Aug 1, 2006 by mastiff
	Guilt and ups and downs!! (Preview) Why does this feel so bad??? Everything was fine lastnight. I went to a face to face meeting, had a good time. I was calm. Then came home and AH was gone, fine. I figured he was out again, I just wanted to sleep. He comes home, buzzed, not really drunk, wants to...	hersh	3	408	Aug 1, 2006 by hersh
	Avoiding getting dragged into the morass. (Preview) In our house my partner has cornered this room as her den. Obstensibly it is somewhere she can go to smoke as she is the only smoker in the family. Effectively however she uses it as her bolt hole where none of the family will bother her until she decides to take part in family life. At that point family life...	Mike5056	7	534	Aug 1, 2006 by RichardA
	Asserting myself cont. (Preview) I know we are all in our own situation - my situation is one that I am not with an A anymore - but because of my previous relationships with A's I have to relearn correct ways to do things. I asserted myself last night, I feel like I give too much and not get anything in return - which is 100% my own faul...	Cyn	4	334	Aug 1, 2006 by rtexas
	Please Help. (Preview) Any luck with couples counseling? My A wife has spent time about four of the past 18 months in rehabs and is not working any sort of program at all. The one thing I can get her to do is go to a marriage counselor with me. The counselor is very good and we are learning h...	jeeves	10	480	Aug 1, 2006 by Becky1
	Not giving in (Preview) I started a post last night about asserting myself and got a phone call from my boyfriend and had to finish it quickly. Needless to say - the conversation ended VERY badly once again. I have to say this first - I am not ignorant to the fact that my boyfriend is going through some stressful sit...	Cyn	2	227	Aug 1, 2006 by mandalynn38
	I am so lost and tired of life (Preview) Hi there, I am in the process of filing out my ODSP papperwork and one of the problem I am having is depression. I am trying to write the self report and as I am writting about all the thibgs I can't do anymore or how & where my body hurts - I get really upset and can't write it. I already suffer f...	kathy570	8	523	Aug 1, 2006 by gardengal
	Please share your Experience/Ideas (Preview) I was on the phone yesterday with my Mom and she made a comment that at first made me angry but then started me to thinking.....I am in the process of separating from my husband....I made the mistake at 17 years old of giving up everything and putting 150% into my marriage and family. I forgot to sav...	tishrijo	10	332	Aug 1, 2006 by Tiger2006
	REMINDER for us WOMEN..... (Preview) I have WORTH TODAY... Why?? Not because my house is meticulously clean 24/7.... it's not. Not because I am a subservient wife, running around all day in an A-pattern skirt and apron, pretending to be June Clever..... I don't. Not because my children behave 100% of the time, are perfectly pol...	jonibaloni	6	386	Aug 1, 2006 by isabela40
	a wonderful story (Preview) The Cracked Pot A wonderful story... An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of...	daisy2	5	290	Aug 1, 2006 by daisy2
	Sharing the emotions (Preview) Here it is Saturday morning. I have read all the new posts and responses and tried to glean what I need from them. I have found some relief from the weekend blues that come to our home. Our adult son is a weekend drinker and drinks alone. He always has these great plans on Friday and through the week to do thi...	omajoy	3	366	Aug 1, 2006 by Mike5056
	Asserting yourself (Preview) So I finally figured out my biggest problem in life - asserting myself and getting the things I need and want and thinking about what is good for ME. A big lightbulb came on today after a fight my boyfriend and I have been having this week. We've been fighting consistently for the last couple of w...	Cyn	3	284	Aug 1, 2006 by annmarie
	thank you (Preview) i just wanted to thank everyone for your replies. i already feel better just getting back on this message board with all of you. and you all have wonderful ideas that i will give a try. thank you so much. :)	notsonew1111	1	238	Aug 1, 2006 by Becky1
	Slogans in Action (Preview) This was given to us at the Louisiana State Al-Anon Convention. I'm sure some of you may have seen it before, but is was just so great not to share - Hope it helps you - I made a copy and put it where I could read it everyday to help me keep my focus on recovery. - Rita - Slogans In Action Just...	Rita G	4	434	Aug 1, 2006 by annmarie
	Help with my son (Preview) My son is 24 years old and he's an alcoholic. He's been out of the house for over 2 years now and has a roomate. He just ended up in the hospital with Alcohol posioning. When I went to see him, he was in restraints and on a suicide watch. I'm terrified to say the least. I know the drill. I know about enablin...	Reese	8	489	Aug 1, 2006 by doxie
	Need Washing?? (Preview) A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all...	kerry5	6	321	Jul 31, 2006 by Ria
	What is (Preview) this Loving Detachment that I hear about and how do you do it?	Prancer	2	271	Jul 31, 2006 by debilyn
	Searching for hope (Preview) Hello - I am new to this board and am happy to have found it. I grew up with an alcoholic father, and thought I was OK with it. However I recently found out the person I thought was the love of my life, is also an alcoholic and suffers from depression. Long story short, I know he loves me - the...	somethingtobemadabout	9	452	Jul 31, 2006 by somethingtobemadabout
	getting him into AA (Preview) Is there any way any of you have found to get your loved one into AA? Mine is a tough case, I guess. I have pointblank asked him to please attend meetings just to see if he could find help. He sometimes expresses that he wants to end the weekend drinking, he is sick of the way things are, and he "probably" need...	omajoy	5	435	Jul 31, 2006 by lin0606
	He's Home! (Preview) Hi roomies, Well last night during the meeting my hubby called from Alaska to say that he was at the air port in Dutch Harbor and he would be flying into the airport here at 6:30am. Poor guy the first words out of my mouth were not loving kind words of a woman happy to have her hubby coming home my fir...	Dolphin123	6	310	Jul 31, 2006 by jonibaloni
	I'm new here too (Preview) Just found you all and wanted to say hi. I have lurked on various al-anon boards over the years. This time I am going to try to stay. I have been married to my A for almost 15 years. He has just recently starting going to AA, and I fully support that. Our children need to see him sober...	GreenGem	8	582	Jul 31, 2006 by Becky1
	Binge Drinking (Preview) Binge drinking is terrible part of alcoholism. Of course any type of alcoholism is bad, but with binge drinking you do get a taste of the real person underneath the disease. The binge drinker i know doesn't drink everyday, doesn't come home after work and drink until they pass out, doesn...	sdisnie	11	562	Jul 31, 2006 by rtexas
	Letting Go/Letting God - Prayers please (Preview) I feeling like my life just exploded. This afternoon I got a call from a nurse at a local clinic telling me that my Father was being taken by ambulance to the ER for a Heart Attack. My first reaction was where was my mother -- that was why she was calling. My mother has suffered fo...	Lunamoth	13	416	Jul 31, 2006 by kathy570
	Painful stuff (Preview) I have myself back ok for the moment. But need to share/vent. A has not called again that I know of. Hearing, "you cannot rationalize insanity." In the Big Book I learned, along with get on program or die, was they also can go insane, no return kind. Anyway first I want to say, I was in the shower, aft...	debilyn	10	487	Jul 31, 2006 by TLC2
	New to Board (Preview) This is my first time on the board. My husband is an alcoholic but refuses to admit it. He hasn't worked in about 3 years because of health problems, some relating to his drinking. Though he won't admit he drinks, he's constantly talking about how he probably won't be around in 3 or 4...	cd2005	3	327	Jul 31, 2006 by Ria
	New to the forum (Preview) Hello everyone. I came upon this place last night. Spoke to a few people and went to my first al-anon meeting in my city last night. I even participated briefly in the meeting this morning. There is so much to learn. I understand that he is sick. I have dealt with A's alo my li...	Prancer	7	472	Jul 31, 2006 by Prancer
	What is a "true friend" in recovery? (Preview) A little "gentle reflection" here.... Hi gang.... does anybody else struggle with that fine line that we often walk on here, between being supportive and loving to each other, vs. trying not to be giving advice, vs. almost 'enabling' each other in our journies of recovery? I try very hard...	canadianguy	7	793	Jul 31, 2006 by Ria
	Alcoholism reared it's ugly head (Preview) My family had a reunuion this week in my home town and I was looking forward to spending my first reunion without my A husband since I left him last fall. My sister in law (sober 3 yrs) wanted to comfort me about my seperation as she had been through one several yrs ago before she met my brother. The...	whitie	4	405	Jul 31, 2006 by Karilynn
	Step tapes (Preview) If you haven't listened to them yet, do yourself a favor take the time to listen to them. I have listened to the first two and they are great. The second tape helped me put step 4 into perspective.	Mobirdie	1	248	Jul 31, 2006 by lin0606
	Dad day already (Preview) Hi everyone, My A is in a bad mood today, I could tell when I got out of bed and looked at him. He is off work today and as usual he always has someplace to go, but before he does, he tells me just how bad I am and the children too. How do I not argue with him, when I know what he is saying is not true?&...	bluebjade	8	440	Jul 31, 2006 by maire rua
	Faith and Hope (Preview) I went to a face-to-face alanon meeting Sat. a.m. I haven't been to one in probably over six months, so feeling kinda proud of myself. It was a good meeting and I think I felt comfortable, because of all of the recent posting back and forth to people on here made me realize that these are the s...	krise	1	340	Jul 30, 2006 by bluebjade
	Getting to Know You (A Fun Diversion) (Preview) A friends sent me a little email that I thought might be a fun diversion for those of you who are interested. It was kind of interesting thinking about myself for a change instead of my A! I'll start! Here we go! Have fun with this, and we might learn a little about each other we didn'...	Becky1	12	667	Jul 30, 2006 by jonibaloni
	Card from A (Preview) ((friends))) My husband is in Alaska working for 3 months. He's been gone since the 19th. I really miss him, especially since I got used to having him here everyday for the last few months (recovering after hospital stay). On Aug 12th, he will be 6 mo. sober..wooohooo!!! Anyway, he sent me a...	Christy	6	483	Jul 30, 2006 by david62
	H A L T a diff perspective (Preview) H - hungry A- angry L - lonley T - Tired for 20 yrs now I have heard these words and come to understand that any one of these can hinder my reovery , get all four at once and WOW !!!! HEHE had a few of those days in early recovery. Recently at a meeting I found new definitions...	abbyal	3	376	Jul 29, 2006 by Christy
	Thanks for the enabling responses-just one more to clarify.... (Preview) Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...	sdisnie	2	247	Jul 29, 2006 by serendipity
	Practicing the Principles in all My Affairs... or at least trying too (Preview) Hi all, just wanted to write, i dont know, just to write lol. I've been a bit distant with the world lately so I'm trying to break out of that isolation I guess. Anyway, I was thinking about the last part of step 12 "Having had a spiritual awakining, we tried to carry this message to others and...	mastiff	3	375	Jul 29, 2006 by abbyal
	Thanks for the enabling responses-just one more to clarify.... (Preview) Thanks for the enabling responses, i pretty much have learned all that, but just one more question to clairfy it all, so doing things for them while they are 'using' is enabling, but if they are working on their sobriety, then doing things for them is not enabling, right? And allowing t...	sdisnie	5	368	Jul 29, 2006 by abbyal
	Is this enabling? (Preview) Okay so a thing i'm confused with on the topic of enabling, here's the scenario: If you live with a binge drinker, out of the blue they go on a binge. You don't, or haven't said "if you do this again, your out of here!" you just don't really say anything, you try to go by the alanon rules and go...	sdisnie	5	516	Jul 29, 2006 by RichardA
	Replies to my Cries :w00t: (Preview) Just got in from work and was so tickled to see the replies to my post I made this morning. The encourgement is wonderful. Christy, thru your insight and imput I see that If I make a decision that is best for me, it is ultimately best for my son. And leaving would have on...	sld488	2	379	Jul 29, 2006 by Becky1
	Longing for Intimacy (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am having a good day today, looking forward to the weekend, hanging out with some aa and alanon friends. However, for months I have been struggling with the issue of loneliness, more of a lack of intimacy in my life. Not of the sexual nature just arms to hold me, some...	beachbaby	2	428	Jul 29, 2006 by Becky1
	the jailbird is free (Preview) Well from jail that is. I guess he got out yesterday. Today a friend of mine of forty years..geesh called and he had called her to get my number. what? She would not give it to him but she said she would have me call him. Well I tried but no one answered. He said it was a phone booth. Never heard from him. ...	debilyn	6	349	Jul 29, 2006 by Maria123
	Scars of Life (Preview) Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam tow...	kerry5	1	282	Jul 29, 2006 by Becky1
	Tell your qualifyer you are starting a program? (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Just thinking... (I really should stop that - LOL) What would things be like if I had gone to meetings and never let on to my AW. Way, Way too late for that for me, but just curious if anyone has? What was the results? Take care of you!	rtexas	11	367	Jul 28, 2006 by TLC2
	courage to stand firm (Preview) I have just made major decision to stay with my A. I feel this is best for me. I have been rejoicing all day that I actually made a decision on my own (with a little insight from others) but the decision was mine. Now I have the task of telling those who will not like it. I have always just don...	sld488	9	520	Jul 28, 2006 by debilyn
	slipping here..... (Preview) hello everyone. well my a and i have been separated for about three weeks now i think. im doing kind of bad i guess. im pretty sure im doing the right thing but still miss him. the biggest problem is i have let my program slip and need to get back on track. i know i'd be feeling better by getting back into progr...	notsonew1111	8	434	Jul 28, 2006 by canadianguy
	new here (Preview) I have never been to Al-Anon or had any kind of outside help dealing with my AH. The things he does make me crazy, I don't know if it a classic case or if it is norm. but he has two people he drinks with. I can't stand to see them pulling in the driveway or their number on caller ID. And when A...	bluebjade	14	462	Jul 28, 2006 by leo
	Real Recovery (Preview) There have been a lot of stories lately about bad news - A's in recovery acting badly, problems with AA, etc. I thought I'd share something small that happened in our lives, to inject a note of hope. My husband has been in recovery about three and a half years. I started alanon at the same time, becaus...	lin0606	6	345	Jul 28, 2006 by leo
	A dad and co-dep mom (Preview) I would like to say hi to everyone, I am new here... I have an AD who is living at home w/ my mom and brother. I am an adult child and no longer live at home. I am having trouble figuring out my place in this whole situation. My AD and I do not have the greatest relationship (...	Patches	5	369	Jul 28, 2006 by annmarie988
	PLEASE REMIND ME HOW TO LET GO (Preview) There is an alcoholic, not directly in my life, but indirectly there through a group I communicate with. The person I have trouble with is soooo sick... will NOT do anything to help themself, will NOT go to a meeting, will NOT go to detox... keeps drinking for days on end into oblivion and wanting everyo...	jonibaloni	10	966	Jul 28, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	The worst bit? (Preview) It occurs to me the worst bit about what I live through? It isn't the anger, it isn't the resentment, it isn't the blaming, it isn't the shaming nor the self martyrdom. It is the all too brief flashes you get of what they once were. The tantalising glimpses you are shown of what might have been. It...	Mike5056	3	374	Jul 28, 2006 by leo
	Detaching from myself and change (Preview) Change... is that what is really causing me my mental struggle. Is change scaring me? I feel this want to be able to stop the knowledge I have learned. I don't want to hear those healthy new words. These new words have been flooding my head, even when I don't want to hear them. I know it...	sandie123	5	309	Jul 28, 2006 by annmarie988
	are they all this selfish? (Preview) My A husband who has been Gone for 8 months doesn`t understand why I need Money from him to take care of our 4 children!! He say that he has helped pay bills for 17 years and now it`s my turn to pay all the bills!! He complains about how broke he is and I say "well atleast you only have to worry about yourself..I...	allison	5	472	Jul 28, 2006 by Mike5056
	Miracles do happen!! (Preview) I want to thank all of you who prayed for my old horse, Prince Sunday night & the wee hours of Monday morning! A special thanks to Tony & Andilyn who kept me company in my time of need. I will be forever grateful for this room & it's alanon members who show their love & kindness through the m...	horselover58	5	562	Jul 28, 2006 by AndiLynn
	r texas thanks (Preview) Just needed to say a big thanx to you. Ihave just read a site you advised bluejade to read,i have been struggling with the word alcoholic,not really and totally understanding what the hell went on, thanx to you i understand it completely ,i have been reading up as much as possible,but this site to me j...	ollie	3	292	Jul 28, 2006 by bluebjade
	Married to active A long time??? (Preview) Hi everyone: Just wondering if anyone out there has lived with an active A for a long time and is happy? I mean I know you are probably happy with yourself but with the relationship??? I am fairly new, learning to detach and all of the great tools here, but, what if AH never decides to get...	hersh	5	495	Jul 27, 2006 by RichardA
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.