Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

purpleraven · purpleraven

i am still so new to this. i'm still trying to understand how the alcoholic still suffers from their disease even when they're not drinking. part of me speculates that he uses it as an excuse so he can act with total self-indulgence. part of me knows it's part of a bigger disease that i don't fully underst...

Maria123 · Maria123

I just heard this song again from a while ago and thought how appropos of us versus the drug or the drink (same thing). "Drugs Or Jesus" In my home town For anyone who sticks around You're either lost or you're found There's not much in between In my home town Everything's still black...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I am a member because I am powerless over an alcoholic who is sober and I am powerless over my disease. I have been without a vehicle for a week (still having transmission problems with the other car). I wanted to do something this weekend so I asked my AHsober to come tonight. He sa...

shadow1 · shadow1

I’m not one to reach out for help but my wonderful sponsor is tied up with a very sick family member and I don’t want to burden her. I am lost and I don’t where to turn. My 76-year-old mother called me yesterday and told me that she had arrived home from a trip early and that dad had been drinking. T...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Well today is just one of those face reality days.......the reality of my life, the reality of how I want to live......and knowing it is all in my hands.... I have suspected that hubby is using again......not positive, just know the signs and know his actions when drinking......

Hope · Hope

Hi, I am new to Al-Anon and these forum. My husband has been sober for 3 years and is very active in A.A. When he was drinking, I used to hope an pray that things would get better, if he could only stop drinking, everything would be alright… Well, it isn’t. ...

omajoy · omajoy

After all the recommendations for reading "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews, I finally ordered it and read it completely through. I was expecting so much and must say that I was very disappointed. I found the advice typical but somehow it felt demeaning to spouses. Not being a spouse of an A ...

debilyn · debilyn

wrote you guys and fell asleep in my chair. woke to a half grown choc lab/red dobi pup licking my face. My first thought was he is gone again. Ya see he was him again. But at the jail ya had to talk on a phone and ya have glass between you. He was pink skinned and less wrinkly, rested,smili...

sld488 · sld488

I have had such a wonderful weekend I wanted to share. Of course it didn't start off so wonderful. My A/bf travels during the week and got to come home early friday and was there when I got home from work. Instead of hugs and kisses from him I got asked why I hadn't done t...

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone: Well AH and I talked lastnight (finally one night of sobriety). I told him I did not think we were going to work out. We gave each other turns to talk. He let me go first. I told him I didn't think things were going great and that I was beginning to think that it wa...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah has been seeing the kids with me here. he comes to my house. i don't really know where he lives. neither does he. i have been really kind and nice, friendly. he has been coldish, not knowing how to react to my genuine care and detatchment. he is a crack addict but, from what he told me tonight he has sw...

david62 · david62

Hi everyone, A post I read sorta touched a nerve in me today. Now this particular nerve gets plucked every now and then and I don't think I have ever mentioned it before but feel like I need to get it off my chest and on this board so I can try to get free of it! Something I read on here today really both...

Gailey · Gailey

I got back from Japan last Friday. I think I am still jetlagged. Me and hubby have been tired this entire week. Have not been online much and have not attended any f2f meetings. I need to get back into the swing of things. Vacation was a wonderful experience. San Francisco for 2 nights, Honnolul...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, Alot happening all at once. Got the car back yesterday.

Found out hubby used my checking account to subscribe to a icky website. Closed my account opened another one that I will not get checks for. Told him that was a huge violation of my trust. Left it at that. Comp...

debilyn · debilyn

Hey we agree you are an A, that means you are two or more differnet people in the same body. Put yourself in MY place. I can wake up, turn around, greet you when I see ya, and you are not you, but the monster side of you! No wonder I found you in jail as you, I was so unnerved. I have not seen you in almost seven ye...

sandie123 · sandie123

I have a dilemma where I’m really torn as to what to do. This is the situation: My kids know that my family is full of alcoholics as well as my husband and his mother (his only living relative). I asked my husband to leave late October 2005, which he did. Our lives have been a whole lot calmer since he has...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hello everyone. so the last post i wrote was written about a new guy that has come into my life. ive chosen in my mind not to pursue this as im definatly not ready. im at a point where i just want my independence and to take care of me. not to mention it's only been a month and a half since my a and i separated and h...

Diva · Diva

"I will not allow you to be here if you yell and scare the dog. That is a big one for me. Any "any" animal abuse and out the frigging door he goes. And I will help if he won't go." Debilyn, I love this quote from your post below. I feel exactly the same way. I am a big girl, and I have a choice, but don't dare sta...

nachoqtpie · nachoqtpie

Well, things have been going kind of rough as of late, and I'm really feeling a bit down. I haven't been praying as much as I need too, and that really takes a toll on me. This morning, I sat down and prayed about everything that is going on. I sat down and prayed about the A and T's relationship,...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi Roomies, Thanks for all the hugs, prayers, and support. It helps soooooooooo mcuh to have a safe place to vent. Well He came home right before 9, I was shocked to see him.Said the car overheated on his way to his function so he stopped at his buddies house. He tinkered with that car, and it ha...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hi ala-pals, I've been gone a while on vacation and had a week of getting back to normal life (that means laundry, grocery shopping, unpacking, etc, etc.). I have missed you and your posts so much. I have been thinking of your wisdom, shared here and in online meetings, as well...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

the past couple of weeks have been such a rollercoaster. i was totally focused on just me and living my life and was really enjoying it. so one night i went out with my friends and met someone. my a and i have been separated for about a month and a half now but we are still speaking and he is focused on getting m...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi evreyone, I hope you are all well. Summer is always hectic here. The kids are all home and this year the older ones have jobs. The little guys keep me busy, either with the pool or baseball and everything else that goes with summer. With summer winding down, I am looking forward to fall and sad th...

Hope · Hope

Hi, guys! Last night, me and my A (abstinent 3 years) had a talk about my feelings of not being included in his life anymore, since he is so intent on his recovery and considers it "his", a very personal fight, one he must do himself. Don't get me wrong, I completely support his efforts in every wa...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

Mayonnaise Jar & Coffee When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee… A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class b...

signseeker · signseeker

My "A" is constantly battling just like everyone else! I hate it when he looks at me and says "That's it!" - "No more!" Because I know that means he'll be drunk by the tie he comes home form work! The worst part is trating me like I'm stupid. I can't help that I'm mad when he comes home. I smell it as soon as he wa...

tishrijo · tishrijo

Anyone located even close to Northeastern Kansas?

nycbt · nycbt

Today I got marriage 2 yrs ago. When I got married I didn't realize how bad my life was, he was on his best behavior when we were planning the wedding. 2 yrs a go lets look back to that day..........I was very happy on that day, we went to disney world for our honeymoon, had a great time, and then a littl...

serendipity · serendipity

i was chairing a meeting tonight and one person brought up a topic. then i asked someone to start. and another person said "ok i'll start" and the he asked what the topic was and the person who brought up the topic started to explain and then went deeper into what the problem really was and she was going on f...

jonibaloni21 · jonibaloni21

Hi Everyone, Due to several confused friends, I am changing my nickname from jonibaloni21 from Texas, with only furbabies and an Ex-bf A , to Texasjoni21 to differentiate from the "other" jonibaloni as everyone is getting confused. I have been here a year now and have had lots of help thru many tr...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Mostly this is just a vent but I'm sure lots of other people experience this frequently if not everyday. I'm so tired of being scapegoated and blamed for things that go wrong in my A's life. He's been late for work twice this week and says, its my responsibility to wake him up. Well, I...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So I've been keeping you updated about how I've been doing and what's been going on with me. And it occured to me about what was really at the core about alot of my feelings. (And you newcomers are entitled to laugh, make comments or whatever you feel, because, yes, this is a commupance of some kind...

BeBlessed · BeBlessed

I heard someone say that "Being a people-pleaser can negatively affect you in many ways. I used to let other people tell me who I was. I played the role assigned to me by my current family and my family of origin. And living and going to school in a small communit...

maresie2 · maresie2

Its funny when you get to that point of not having anymore, I can finally set lots of limits with the A. After all I am not going to entertain it anymore. I can finally say I have had enough. I think it must be my huge martyr complex that made me feel I had to endure. I could never say to him this is n...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

This has been a full day, and it's only 12:30~I went to an al anon meeting, and we had a new comer. Which was good, I suppose. I guess what soured my desire to go back is that there was this one lady who when she's nice, she's fantastic. But when she's mean or whatever....

Like the old saying, if...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Husband moved back home yesterday after being seperated for 6 1/2 weeks. We have talked to each other every day since he moved out - some conversations more pleasant than others but we have seen each other only 4 times since the incident that caused our seperation. After doing my usual ru...

Gramma Pat · Gramma Pat

Thank you for your responses to my problem. I wanted to let you know that my husband walked out of his outpatient assessment. He said he was telling them what he thought of them when they asked him to leave. I don’t know where this man came from. In the 12 years I have known him he...

BeBlessed · BeBlessed

…haven’t really been able to participate in MIP online meetings lately (couple months anway)…able to say welcome and thank you, but not able to share. Have always struggled with living in a shell, feelings of rejections, and I can spot someone who doesn’t like a mile away – even o...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

Ok I worked till 8pm on Monday8/7. My A picked me up after work. she slid over to let me drive before I came outside. I was suspicious but wanted to go home. It seems she took my new friend ( the one whose A father ran out of gas and I took him to her house). This new frie...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

14 Hello Dear Friends, I would just like to make a few comments on some of the posts I have been reading.... I have noticed alot of people feeling alone lately....well, in my opinion we are not alone we have the wonderful support of this terriffic program and the lovely people in...

debilyn · debilyn

A's sister called me and told me where he is. He is staying at this old scrum womans apt. I was not concerned he was cheating. On the way there I talked to hp. I thought well maybe his sis was lying. Maybe he won't be there. I was not anxious or mad or anything. No expectations. I did not know an apt. number...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I just wanted to keep y'all posted. I am loathe to admit it, but yes...you were right. God showed up on time. In style. And every detail was attended too. I went to the Woman's Center today and talked to them some more about the situation. The conversation consisted of the followi...

Gramma Pat · Gramma Pat

New, blue, confused, that's me. My husband is a hardcore drinker and has been for many years. He can't stay off the sauce for more than 90 days or so. He went to treatment on the 19th of July because his long time friend and I confronted him with his out of control behavior. He wa...

krise · krise

I went to bed last night and as I was sinking down in the covers I was thinking about my present situation. My AH, whom I have been separated from the last 6 months, just sent me divorce paperwork last week. The agreement is completely one-sided (his side) and I've had to contact lawyers, et...

cher · cher

I need to express my graditude Wed. nite my hubby (an A)dissappease. Once again I think he is on a binge (and I was wrong) Couldn't bare the pain again and found this web site. You pulled me through a very hard time, gave me information to help myself, and it worked.Was what u were doing before worked c...

daisygrl4 · daisygrl4

i really want to talk in the chat room tonight but i can't get in. i try the link and it's the right one the page came up but the place the room should come up is just and empty black box. can anyone help

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi roomies, Last night was an odd night. Kids and I got home and as soon as I walked in I knew my "A" was high like meth high. Why is that odd? He wasn't even home. I just felt it. I have learned to trust certain instincts of mine, because over the years I have learned to know the difference between my sickn...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Goes hand in hand. Its a dance that seems to get old after a while and I find myself wishing to get off the dance floor sometimes. Coming to Alanon is like getting off the dance floor for me. Getting real with myself and my wants and desires. It feels weird to let the A dance by him...

omajoy · omajoy

I have read posts here for weeks and have posted a few myself. To be honest, I don't think anyone of you out there, regardless of your experiences, can really help anyone else. Oh, we can give our hugs and our support, but when the chips are truly down, you just have to go it alone. That is me. Alone. Most of y...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, We had a weekend round-up here in the northeast corner of Arizona. Many people come from afar every year. My AHsober was around because we had taken our son to the airport to fly back to start his second year of college. I asked my H to go with me to the roundup. The main reason is that there i...

Jill · Jill

We went to my brother’s wedding last weekend. My new sister in law’s stepmother was the pariah of the whole group – so controlling, didn’t “let” her ancient husband do what he wanted, etc. You guessed it – her husband is a very active alcoholic and she’s his keeper. I thank this program and you all for hel...

debilyn · debilyn

Is anyone near cape cod massachusets? spelled wrong I am sure. I don't need much. I am attempting to help someone who's mom died now she is homeless. thanks debilyn

whittibo · whittibo

I just found your site last night and have been reading some posts. I have shared my problems with friends on another board (pet board) and the advice was to go to Al-Anon. It's not feasible in my life to attend meetings. I am not good in groups, I don't want to go, and don't have the tim...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi group.... I get nervous, really nervous, when I see so many posts about alternative ways for people to gain sobriety... Yes, there are other ways, and yes, there are small percentages of people who are living testaments to those other ways.... Here is something I cut and paste...

doxie · doxie

I woke up EARLY this morning and couldn't get this stuff outta my head, so here I am! Let me start by saying that I need to get this down, I know this is a safe place. So I choose to do it here. These are my opinions only and this is what is working in my life. Doxie's therapy 101 to herself I guess.

...

daisygrl4 · daisygrl4

Hi all. I have been trying to log onto the online chats but for some reason it won't work for me. So I figured I would try this. I have been with my boyfriend (an A) for 5 1/2 years now. We met at college and He has drank all of our relationship. I don't know really where to start. My A is very mean when he drinks. H...

maresie2 · maresie2

On the weekend the A crashed my truck again. The whole side is all dented. He has no remorse nothing. He is like a psychopath. All he can say is "Me Me Me Me and some more me's". I know I can no longer live this life of his crazy chaos, lies and psychoapathism. I have been working on plan B for...

DoN4me · DoN4me

I woke up this morning almost relieved and refreshed. Start of day two living my life for my HP and me!

I realized some more about myself. I know I love myself enough now. So I have started making future plans for myself personal goals that I want to ...

shadow1 · shadow1

I just wanted to clairfy something. We seem to have 2 shadow's now. I have been getting alot of private messages in chat room, on the message board and email asking me, if the other shadow's posts are mine. They are not. Shadow1 on the message bo...

lmt123 · lmt123

I don't know which Alanon tool I used last nite, but I'm sure I used one, LOL! My 18 year old daughter (eaten up by anger towards her dad, my ex) did her usual nightly routine last nite. Bear with me now...

We live in this old house that we are remodeling, and the upstairs is se...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	sober and crazymaking (Preview) i am still so new to this. i'm still trying to understand how the alcoholic still suffers from their disease even when they're not drinking. part of me speculates that he uses it as an excuse so he can act with total self-indulgence. part of me knows it's part of a bigger disease that i don't fully underst...	purpleraven	8	441	Aug 14, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Tim McGraw - Drugs or Jesus (Preview) I just heard this song again from a while ago and thought how appropos of us versus the drug or the drink (same thing). "Drugs Or Jesus" In my home town For anyone who sticks around You're either lost or you're found There's not much in between In my home town Everything's still black...	Maria123	4	2150	Aug 14, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Have to have a belief in my HP (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I am a member because I am powerless over an alcoholic who is sober and I am powerless over my disease. I have been without a vehicle for a week (still having transmission problems with the other car). I wanted to do something this weekend so I asked my AHsober to come tonight. He sa...	nmike	5	401	Aug 14, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Reaching out for help (Preview) I’m not one to reach out for help but my wonderful sponsor is tied up with a very sick family member and I don’t want to burden her. I am lost and I don’t where to turn. My 76-year-old mother called me yesterday and told me that she had arrived home from a trip early and that dad had been drinking. T...	shadow1	6	419	Aug 14, 2006 by Dolphin123
	The Reality of it All (Preview) Hello Friends, Well today is just one of those face reality days.......the reality of my life, the reality of how I want to live......and knowing it is all in my hands.... I have suspected that hubby is using again......not positive, just know the signs and know his actions when drinking......	Andrea12	12	553	Aug 14, 2006 by mel123
	Don't I deserve a "9th step" too? (Preview) Hi, I am new to Al-Anon and these forum. My husband has been sober for 3 years and is very active in A.A. When he was drinking, I used to hope an pray that things would get better, if he could only stop drinking, everything would be alright… Well, it isn’t. ...	Hope	9	889	Aug 14, 2006 by Rita G
	"Getting Them Sober" and other books (Preview) After all the recommendations for reading "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews, I finally ordered it and read it completely through. I was expecting so much and must say that I was very disappointed. I found the advice typical but somehow it felt demeaning to spouses. Not being a spouse of an A ...	omajoy	10	741	Aug 14, 2006 by annmarie
	just need ones who understand (Preview) wrote you guys and fell asleep in my chair. woke to a half grown choc lab/red dobi pup licking my face. My first thought was he is gone again. Ya see he was him again. But at the jail ya had to talk on a phone and ya have glass between you. He was pink skinned and less wrinkly, rested,smili...	debilyn	23	743	Aug 14, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
	Respond with kindness. (Preview) I have had such a wonderful weekend I wanted to share. Of course it didn't start off so wonderful. My A/bf travels during the week and got to come home early friday and was there when I got home from work. Instead of hugs and kisses from him I got asked why I hadn't done t...	sld488	2	354	Aug 14, 2006 by purpleraven
	Boundaries... (Preview) Hi everyone: Well AH and I talked lastnight (finally one night of sobriety). I told him I did not think we were going to work out. We gave each other turns to talk. He let me go first. I told him I didn't think things were going great and that I was beginning to think that it wa...	hersh	6	360	Aug 14, 2006 by Zyperiris
	experience please (Preview) my ex ah has been seeing the kids with me here. he comes to my house. i don't really know where he lives. neither does he. i have been really kind and nice, friendly. he has been coldish, not knowing how to react to my genuine care and detatchment. he is a crack addict but, from what he told me tonight he has sw...	serendipity	3	328	Aug 14, 2006 by Christy
	Trying to Let It Go! (Preview) Hi everyone, A post I read sorta touched a nerve in me today. Now this particular nerve gets plucked every now and then and I don't think I have ever mentioned it before but feel like I need to get it off my chest and on this board so I can try to get free of it! Something I read on here today really both...	david62	4	496	Aug 14, 2006 by david62
	back from a long vacation (Preview) I got back from Japan last Friday. I think I am still jetlagged. Me and hubby have been tired this entire week. Have not been online much and have not attended any f2f meetings. I need to get back into the swing of things. Vacation was a wonderful experience. San Francisco for 2 nights, Honnolul...	Gailey	4	376	Aug 13, 2006 by peewee
	Prayers Please! (Preview) Hi all, Alot happening all at once. Got the car back yesterday. Found out hubby used my checking account to subscribe to a icky website. Closed my account opened another one that I will not get checks for. Told him that was a huge violation of my trust. Left it at that. Comp...	Dolphin123	15	384	Aug 13, 2006 by peewee
	And another thing! (Preview) Hey we agree you are an A, that means you are two or more differnet people in the same body. Put yourself in MY place. I can wake up, turn around, greet you when I see ya, and you are not you, but the monster side of you! No wonder I found you in jail as you, I was so unnerved. I have not seen you in almost seven ye...	debilyn	1	353	Aug 13, 2006 by marmare
	Not Sure What To Do (Preview) I have a dilemma where I’m really torn as to what to do. This is the situation: My kids know that my family is full of alcoholics as well as my husband and his mother (his only living relative). I asked my husband to leave late October 2005, which he did. Our lives have been a whole lot calmer since he has...	sandie123	6	498	Aug 13, 2006 by Zyperiris
	assertiveness please.......... (Preview) hello everyone. so the last post i wrote was written about a new guy that has come into my life. ive chosen in my mind not to pursue this as im definatly not ready. im at a point where i just want my independence and to take care of me. not to mention it's only been a month and a half since my a and i separated and h...	notsonew1111	7	360	Aug 13, 2006 by lin0606
	Debilyn... (Preview) "I will not allow you to be here if you yell and scare the dog. That is a big one for me. Any "any" animal abuse and out the frigging door he goes. And I will help if he won't go." Debilyn, I love this quote from your post below. I feel exactly the same way. I am a big girl, and I have a choice, but don't dare sta...	Diva	2	372	Aug 13, 2006 by debilyn
	Finding Peace (Preview) Well, things have been going kind of rough as of late, and I'm really feeling a bit down. I haven't been praying as much as I need too, and that really takes a toll on me. This morning, I sat down and prayed about everything that is going on. I sat down and prayed about the A and T's relationship,...	nachoqtpie	1	271	Aug 13, 2006 by doxie
	Letting God do his job (Preview) Hi Roomies, Thanks for all the hugs, prayers, and support. It helps soooooooooo mcuh to have a safe place to vent. Well He came home right before 9, I was shocked to see him.Said the car overheated on his way to his function so he stopped at his buddies house. He tinkered with that car, and it ha...	Dolphin123	3	460	Aug 13, 2006 by Karilynn
	I feel like I'm growing (Preview) Hi ala-pals, I've been gone a while on vacation and had a week of getting back to normal life (that means laundry, grocery shopping, unpacking, etc, etc.). I have missed you and your posts so much. I have been thinking of your wisdom, shared here and in online meetings, as well...	itsgot2bgd	1	439	Aug 13, 2006 by lin0606
	new man in my life....... (Preview) the past couple of weeks have been such a rollercoaster. i was totally focused on just me and living my life and was really enjoying it. so one night i went out with my friends and met someone. my a and i have been separated for about a month and a half now but we are still speaking and he is focused on getting m...	notsonew1111	8	615	Aug 12, 2006 by itsgot2bgd
	Update (Preview) Hi evreyone, I hope you are all well. Summer is always hectic here. The kids are all home and this year the older ones have jobs. The little guys keep me busy, either with the pool or baseball and everything else that goes with summer. With summer winding down, I am looking forward to fall and sad th...	Jeannie	5	270	Aug 12, 2006 by leo
	Feeling selfish... (Preview) Hi, guys! Last night, me and my A (abstinent 3 years) had a talk about my feelings of not being included in his life anymore, since he is so intent on his recovery and considers it "his", a very personal fight, one he must do himself. Don't get me wrong, I completely support his efforts in every wa...	Hope	4	344	Aug 12, 2006 by maresie2
	Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee (Preview) Mayonnaise Jar & Coffee When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee… A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class b...	Mobirdie	6	448	Aug 12, 2006 by Jeannie
	Do they really think we're Stupid?? (Preview) My "A" is constantly battling just like everyone else! I hate it when he looks at me and says "That's it!" - "No more!" Because I know that means he'll be drunk by the tie he comes home form work! The worst part is trating me like I'm stupid. I can't help that I'm mad when he comes home. I smell it as soon as he wa...	signseeker	8	496	Aug 12, 2006 by signseeker
	Location...Location...Location? (Preview) Anyone located even close to Northeastern Kansas?	tishrijo	2	287	Aug 12, 2006 by confused
	2 yrs anniversary marriage (Preview) Today I got marriage 2 yrs ago. When I got married I didn't realize how bad my life was, he was on his best behavior when we were planning the wedding. 2 yrs a go lets look back to that day..........I was very happy on that day, we went to disney world for our honeymoon, had a great time, and then a littl...	nycbt	8	413	Aug 12, 2006 by aunitedway
	a little drama (Preview) i was chairing a meeting tonight and one person brought up a topic. then i asked someone to start. and another person said "ok i'll start" and the he asked what the topic was and the person who brought up the topic started to explain and then went deeper into what the problem really was and she was going on f...	serendipity	2	480	Aug 12, 2006 by SLS
	New Nick I Picked! (Preview) Hi Everyone, Due to several confused friends, I am changing my nickname from jonibaloni21 from Texas, with only furbabies and an Ex-bf A , to Texasjoni21 to differentiate from the "other" jonibaloni as everyone is getting confused. I have been here a year now and have had lots of help thru many tr...	jonibaloni21	0	295	Aug 11, 2006 by jonibaloni21
	How did I get scapegoated for all that goes wrong with the A? (Preview) Mostly this is just a vent but I'm sure lots of other people experience this frequently if not everyday. I'm so tired of being scapegoated and blamed for things that go wrong in my A's life. He's been late for work twice this week and says, its my responsibility to wake him up. Well, I...	twinmom2	2	531	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Living Easy Does It (Preview) So I've been keeping you updated about how I've been doing and what's been going on with me. And it occured to me about what was really at the core about alot of my feelings. (And you newcomers are entitled to laugh, make comments or whatever you feel, because, yes, this is a commupance of some kind...	Tiger2006	2	420	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Hope for the people-pleaser (Preview) I heard someone say that "Being a people-pleaser can negatively affect you in many ways. I used to let other people tell me who I was. I played the role assigned to me by my current family and my family of origin. And living and going to school in a small communit...	BeBlessed	3	418	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Being up against it. (Preview) Its funny when you get to that point of not having anymore, I can finally set lots of limits with the A. After all I am not going to entertain it anymore. I can finally say I have had enough. I think it must be my huge martyr complex that made me feel I had to endure. I could never say to him this is n...	maresie2	4	428	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Another day, another update (Preview) This has been a full day, and it's only 12:30~I went to an al anon meeting, and we had a new comer. Which was good, I suppose. I guess what soured my desire to go back is that there was this one lady who when she's nice, she's fantastic. But when she's mean or whatever.... Like the old saying, if...	Tiger2006	3	290	Aug 11, 2006 by maresie2
	Elephant in my living room... (Preview) Husband moved back home yesterday after being seperated for 6 1/2 weeks. We have talked to each other every day since he moved out - some conversations more pleasant than others but we have seen each other only 4 times since the incident that caused our seperation. After doing my usual ru...	AlaMom	6	422	Aug 11, 2006 by hummingbird
	Thanks-this is a great site with great folks (Preview) Thank you for your responses to my problem. I wanted to let you know that my husband walked out of his outpatient assessment. He said he was telling them what he thought of them when they asked him to leave. I don’t know where this man came from. In the 12 years I have known him he...	Gramma Pat	1	314	Aug 11, 2006 by abbyal
	Gotta Be... (Preview) …haven’t really been able to participate in MIP online meetings lately (couple months anway)…able to say welcome and thank you, but not able to share. Have always struggled with living in a shell, feelings of rejections, and I can spot someone who doesn’t like a mile away – even o...	BeBlessed	4	250	Aug 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	hmm, advice, questions or comments? I am at my witts end. (Preview) Ok I worked till 8pm on Monday8/7. My A picked me up after work. she slid over to let me drive before I came outside. I was suspicious but wanted to go home. It seems she took my new friend ( the one whose A father ran out of gas and I took him to her house). This new frie...	hmrnrnmm	4	478	Aug 11, 2006 by Tiger2006
	We are not Alone, thanks for the Love (Preview) 14 Hello Dear Friends, I would just like to make a few comments on some of the posts I have been reading.... I have noticed alot of people feeling alone lately....well, in my opinion we are not alone we have the wonderful support of this terriffic program and the lovely people in...	Andrea12	7	399	Aug 11, 2006 by annmarie
	missed my chance (Preview) A's sister called me and told me where he is. He is staying at this old scrum womans apt. I was not concerned he was cheating. On the way there I talked to hp. I thought well maybe his sis was lying. Maybe he won't be there. I was not anxious or mad or anything. No expectations. I did not know an apt. number...	debilyn	13	487	Aug 10, 2006 by Jeannie
	Things are getting better (Preview) I just wanted to keep y'all posted. I am loathe to admit it, but yes...you were right. God showed up on time. In style. And every detail was attended too. I went to the Woman's Center today and talked to them some more about the situation. The conversation consisted of the followi...	Tiger2006	8	448	Aug 10, 2006 by debilyn
	New, Blue, Confused (Preview) New, blue, confused, that's me. My husband is a hardcore drinker and has been for many years. He can't stay off the sauce for more than 90 days or so. He went to treatment on the 19th of July because his long time friend and I confronted him with his out of control behavior. He wa...	Gramma Pat	3	346	Aug 10, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Moments of peace in the midst of turmoil (Preview) I went to bed last night and as I was sinking down in the covers I was thinking about my present situation. My AH, whom I have been separated from the last 6 months, just sent me divorce paperwork last week. The agreement is completely one-sided (his side) and I've had to contact lawyers, et...	krise	7	393	Aug 10, 2006 by Dolphin123
	u roomies r great (Preview) I need to express my graditude Wed. nite my hubby (an A)dissappease. Once again I think he is on a binge (and I was wrong) Couldn't bare the pain again and found this web site. You pulled me through a very hard time, gave me information to help myself, and it worked.Was what u were doing before worked c...	cher	3	302	Aug 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	chat room (Preview) i really want to talk in the chat room tonight but i can't get in. i try the link and it's the right one the page came up but the place the room should come up is just and empty black box. can anyone help	daisygrl4	2	308	Aug 10, 2006 by Becky1
	Gotta Love 2am phone calls. (Preview) Hi roomies, Last night was an odd night. Kids and I got home and as soon as I walked in I knew my "A" was high like meth high. Why is that odd? He wasn't even home. I just felt it. I have learned to trust certain instincts of mine, because over the years I have learned to know the difference between my sickn...	Dolphin123	9	511	Aug 10, 2006 by hersh
	The addict and the codependent (Preview) Goes hand in hand. Its a dance that seems to get old after a while and I find myself wishing to get off the dance floor sometimes. Coming to Alanon is like getting off the dance floor for me. Getting real with myself and my wants and desires. It feels weird to let the A dance by him...	twinmom2	5	698	Aug 10, 2006 by maire rua
	No heart or soul left (Preview) I have read posts here for weeks and have posted a few myself. To be honest, I don't think anyone of you out there, regardless of your experiences, can really help anyone else. Oh, we can give our hugs and our support, but when the chips are truly down, you just have to go it alone. That is me. Alone. Most of y...	omajoy	12	557	Aug 10, 2006 by omajoy
	Weekend roundup and AHsober went with... (Preview) Hi Alanoners, We had a weekend round-up here in the northeast corner of Arizona. Many people come from afar every year. My AHsober was around because we had taken our son to the airport to fly back to start his second year of college. I asked my H to go with me to the roundup. The main reason is that there i...	nmike	2	384	Aug 10, 2006 by athena12
	Depending on the Promise (Preview) We went to my brother’s wedding last weekend. My new sister in law’s stepmother was the pariah of the whole group – so controlling, didn’t “let” her ancient husband do what he wanted, etc. You guessed it – her husband is a very active alcoholic and she’s his keeper. I thank this program and you all for hel...	Jill	5	348	Aug 10, 2006 by annmarie
	Need help (Preview) Is anyone near cape cod massachusets? spelled wrong I am sure. I don't need much. I am attempting to help someone who's mom died now she is homeless. thanks debilyn	debilyn	5	375	Aug 9, 2006 by nikkilou
	New. Not sure where to start (Preview) I just found your site last night and have been reading some posts. I have shared my problems with friends on another board (pet board) and the advice was to go to Al-Anon. It's not feasible in my life to attend meetings. I am not good in groups, I don't want to go, and don't have the tim...	whittibo	11	472	Aug 9, 2006 by drucilla06
	Is AA the "only" way to sobriety? (Preview) Hi group.... I get nervous, really nervous, when I see so many posts about alternative ways for people to gain sobriety... Yes, there are other ways, and yes, there are small percentages of people who are living testaments to those other ways.... Here is something I cut and paste...	canadianguy	12	4220	Aug 9, 2006 by Jill
	I'm tired of being the victim, I want a life (Preview) I woke up EARLY this morning and couldn't get this stuff outta my head, so here I am! Let me start by saying that I need to get this down, I know this is a safe place. So I choose to do it here. These are my opinions only and this is what is working in my life. Doxie's therapy 101 to herself I guess. ...	doxie	9	519	Aug 9, 2006 by maresie2
	new and fed up (Preview) Hi all. I have been trying to log onto the online chats but for some reason it won't work for me. So I figured I would try this. I have been with my boyfriend (an A) for 5 1/2 years now. We met at college and He has drank all of our relationship. I don't know really where to start. My A is very mean when he drinks. H...	daisygrl4	14	457	Aug 9, 2006 by Katastrophe
	the A crashed my truck again ! (Preview) On the weekend the A crashed my truck again. The whole side is all dented. He has no remorse nothing. He is like a psychopath. All he can say is "Me Me Me Me and some more me's". I know I can no longer live this life of his crazy chaos, lies and psychoapathism. I have been working on plan B for...	maresie2	6	335	Aug 9, 2006 by maresie2
	New Beginning - ODAT (Preview) I woke up this morning almost relieved and refreshed. Start of day two living my life for my HP and me! I realized some more about myself. I know I love myself enough now. So I have started making future plans for myself personal goals that I want to ...	DoN4me	2	308	Aug 9, 2006 by MsgBo
	Just to clairfy things (Preview) I just wanted to clairfy something. We seem to have 2 shadow's now. I have been getting alot of private messages in chat room, on the message board and email asking me, if the other shadow's posts are mine. They are not. Shadow1 on the message bo...	shadow1	2	339	Aug 9, 2006 by Dolphin123
	I think I used my Alanon tools last nite...(kinda long) (Preview) I don't know which Alanon tool I used last nite, but I'm sure I used one, LOL! My 18 year old daughter (eaten up by anger towards her dad, my ex) did her usual nightly routine last nite. Bear with me now... We live in this old house that we are remodeling, and the upstairs is se...	lmt123	4	309	Aug 9, 2006 by lmt123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.