Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

((((Roomies))))), I am getting ready to celebrate my 1-year anniversary in Al-Anon - yeah! As many of us have, I have really struggled with getting my head around what detachment is, and last night I had a bit of a break through. I was completing an exercise on detachment in which I was asked to list...

LadyLibra · LadyLibra

I hardly know where to start. My boyfriend and I have lived together for 5 years and I am now realizing his drinking problem won't do away...no matter how it hurts me. He drinks every day and is verbally abusive to me, and when he does we fight and he leaves saying he is tried of me doing ...wha...

Georgia girl · Georgia girl

I've been married for 32 years, and I can't take it anymore!! My A has become so distant and hurtful... I'm afraid he's killing any love I have left for him. It's gotten progressively worse, and now I KNOW he's a full blown A... He forgets what he says, the next day after he's been drinking... talks to be li...

Samena · Samena

Wow.... it's nice to be back!!! It's been awhile since I've been here. Sooo much has happened... I was married to an Alcoholic/Addict for 10 years and two years ago divorced him b/c of his behavior after a night out painting the town red. The police were called and I ended up in the emergenc...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'd love to hear you views on this one! I have been told in the past (few years ago) that I can be quite stubborn (your way or no way....was the quote). I agree I can be this way at times. I think I am more willing to consider other's viewpoints now though. I have learned a lot and grown in th...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

That is the question that I keep asking myself. When is enough enough. I have read several books on alcoholism and go to both online and f2f meetings. I can accept that alcoholism is a disease. I can accept that certain behaviors of the alcoholic are typical and to think othe...

bev · bev

my husband and i have been together since 98,and since then he has been in and out of rehab six times,for drugs and alcohol{plus he is type 2 bi-polar}he was on probation for 3 years for many dui's.he started drinking and using drugs again in dec just 2 months after he got off probation,and it is getting w...

gardengal · gardengal

Something to think about.........something to explore just for yourself!!! I think us alanoners take so much time and energy worrying about the A's in our lives, we tend to put ourselves on the back burner of life. We take care, worry, try to fix, try to control everyone else around us, and yet let the m...

Linda Jean · Linda Jean

Hi everyone, I have been reading these posts with much interest. I have been going to see a therapist for the past 6 months, who has been helping me see my husband has an alcohol problem. I have been watching his drinking, but he typically drinks at night when I am in bed. He is a self employed writer who t...

Kris · Kris

Hi. After almost 14 years of marriage I told my husband I can't live like this anymore. And I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not. Because it hurts so much. My husband is a good man, loving, everything I ever wanted in a mate...but when he drinks too much which eventua...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah just called and we talked for about an hour. he sounds still slightly drunk. but he was reaching out from the disease. i stayed in my program. i spoke from my experience and told him that i have no answers for him. he came right out and told me that he wishes i could save him. and i told him that i can't....

serendipity · serendipity

the alanon speaker at our convention this past winter was incredible (ofcourse) and she had these steps which continue to crack me up and make me think. it is so close to who i was and who ican slip into being. i hope y'all enjoy them too! 1. discovered i was powerful over others and your lives wer...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah called to speak to the kids. they aren't home from camping. so, i was telling him about how the speaker's meeting last night (aa) the speaker was an old friend of ours who he went thru rehab with. i told him how neat it was to see him and how his story was great and it was just so nice to see an old friend....

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

We got to visit Vinny on Saturday. He is in alot of pain. The vet said he did 2 hours of surgery. 2 hernia repairs. He had drains on both sides & stables. He was sitting side saddled on the table. He let us hug & kiss on him. He looked so far away, I know he was hurting & probably going what wa...

debilyn · debilyn

and felt better. I called my regular dentist who said, for petes sake get in here NOW. so he and his great staff helped me out, did not charge me for the visit or xrays, so my bill was very low and I can make it in four payments!!! hp is good... I know I have been a pill. Being in pain is a drag. b...

artygirl · artygirl

As you may have read in my last two posts... I'm fed up with my alcoholic/cocaine-addicted hubby. He has not made any kind of effort to get his life together. He spent most of the weekend away from home on a binge. I have my mind made up that I want to separate from him... and most likely divorce him. In fact,...

Becky1 · Becky1

Just a silly post, but I thought maybe some of you might find it amuseing. I have often talked in chat about how my husband hates my cats. I had them before I had him, and he used to like them pretty good, but as the drinking increased, so did his hatred of my cats. I have had them about 1...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I am having one of those mixed up days today.....So I thought I'd come in and just let it out....Friday I went to see about a job...have to be back Monday morning and talk to the supervisor...I know her personally so it will be fine..just a little concerned about the hours....don't t...

leo · leo

Well to many this may seem a small step but to me it is a big one. Today I was out the back sweeping up the patio having a general clean up and then looking around the backyard for mesh to cover the holes our dogs have dug. Started off enjoying it then looked around me at things that have been negl...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

Woooo Hoooo!!! And I'm powerless. For the last 3 week I've been caring for my mom, who has dementia and motor problems, while my dad heals from open heart surgery. I don't think my life has been this unmanagable since my AH was in the house, lol. My dad absolutely refused...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Family))) I've had an Ah-ha realization yesterday. I took off from work because my weekend was stressful. Not because of anything serious that happened, just my attitude and perception of my environment. I really took my stress and irritation out on the kids, just snappy...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys just to update for you... my ex "A" turned up from his travels... and got back on track... he still not working but has decided to go back to college which is good. however he is still in the depths o depression... he goes thru periods of being happy with loadsa energy and looks forward to doing ne...

debilyn · debilyn

The horrible, mean, manipulative, liar, living with another woman, A has hurt me so bad, that I hate my husband who does not have the balls to stand up and choose the light. NO I am not free. He loves that, able to hold onto me. whatever. sexless wonder he is. Don't think I have ever felt like thi...

debilyn · debilyn

(oo) snouters, Your posts made me laugh and cry too. You guys are awful smart. I needed all the words everyone posted. It hurts to go thru these milestones in alanon. But becuz we help each other, it makes it easier. I turned my phones off and I am not emailing right now. I feel I need a break fr...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

(((((alanon family)))) Could someone please explain this to me? I hear it often that I am right where I am supposed to be,and everyone else seems to agree and understand.I guess I must be dense. We all know we can make bad decisions,bad choices.If I had stayed separated from my AH 10 years ag...

whittibo · whittibo

Here's my pickle. My aunt got released from jail on July 5th. She served 8 months for her 3rd or 4th DUI. She was staying with my mom, helping mom after a near death illness and left mom's place suddenly on August 9th and never came back. We found out on the 11t...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

In one of my meditation books there was a line that caught my eye "Beauty and self love is a taught behavior that becomes habit--like self hatred." As I meditated on that today, I paused for a moment and realized I still have reminants of self hatred that we talk about in the 3 C's (I didn't ca...

lin0606 · lin0606

We had our district roundup this weekend - it is an AA/alanon weekend, held at a local campground. It's always quite a lot of fun - pot luck dinner on Saturday night, pancake breakfast on Sunday, lot of open meetings, and speakers. It's never very well organized here - nobody ever knows who's doing...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Morning All, A couple of weeks ago I posted about the proverbial elephant in my living room and my concerns if he would join us on our family vacation. Well I am happy to say that he apparently took a seperate vacation. While not a perfect vacation - it was a good one. I had a couple of...

omajoy · omajoy

I am trying very hard to detach from my son and his problems with alcohol and with his life (related to his problems, of course). This weekend started great with Friday's good activity with him and his ex and their baby going out to eat...a new tradition they are trying. Saturday morning he called to say...

GreenGem · GreenGem

First, I want to say thanks to everyone here, as the meetings and chats are helping me to get by, one day at a time. :) I'm learning more every day. I'm still having a really horrible time, and I feel guilty as I'm reading about so many active A's... my own A is newly in recovery, sober (as far...

Freatlast · Freatlast

I had a hearing for yesterday for the restraining order I pulled on my almost ex, keeping his truck and emergency support. I got 1 out of three. The restraining order is in effect for 1 year. I only got this because he admitted pulling a gun. Lied about only pulling it on himsel...

marmare · marmare

So today I wake with only a small amount of anxiousness...this is good for me. The weekend was exhausting as most of mom's house is packed, sorted, etc. It is a very emotional journey. I have not talked to my A since Friday, as he went fishing for the weekend. I sat last night re...

babz · babz

I began my own recovery journey from alcoholism and drug addiction in 1987. I have also had a lot of therapy - like 17 years - to deal with depression, anxiety and avoidance issues. It's been long hard road, but worth every step. I am well employed and own my own condo now, which is paid for. About...

marmare · marmare

I keep asking myself, that question. Will I ever have had enough? LOL I have to smile at that because every time I have had enough, jumped at the bait, lost myself in my A's problems, he becomes charming, sober, and caring. I have been at my mother's house 2 1/2 months. While sh...

desperate for help · desperate for help

My husband was doing good for several days, just drinking beer and not vodka, not getting drunk every night. Then he told me that I was making his life miserable b.c I was all over him for his drinking. I realized that he was not ready for any kind of help, so I detached my self from the whole th...

John · John

If I want to quote religious scriptures, promote or advertise my religious beliefs, belittle, degrade others beliefs, condemn them with the wrath of God, or threaten them with hell etc.. I could and should join a like minded chat room, or a local ministry.. It doesn't belong in A...

frog58 · frog58

Greetings all, Two weeks ago I started my god box and placed the outcome of my current job in it. For the last two hours the committee in my head (the old thought patterns), is taking it out. I keep telling the committee it's not mine anymore...yet I keep dwelling on it and worry a...

jaja · jaja

Becky1 · Becky1

For some reason, I love this song! I like to turn it up real loud and sing along! I'm going to keep on going, and I'm not gonna slow down or show that I am scared. I'm getting out of my personal hell! One Day at a Time. Thanks to HP and my Al-anon Angel friends. Yee-haw! ...

shamama · shamama

i thank you in advance!

endoftherope · endoftherope

Not because I will miss all of the drama, or even him for that matter at this point because I'm totally fed up with the drinking, the verbal abuse, and the broken promises. I have had it. He ruins almost every social event, weekend, and holiday for everyone. Everytime he gets drunk I get to hear a...

ditto · ditto

Based upon some topics I have begun to wonder the following: Every rule has its exceptions. If this is true and we focus on the exceptions and not the rule, are we taking politcal correctness to absurd lengths? For instance: if alcoholism generally involves denial, but there are some alcoholi...

afmom03 · afmom03

I'm trapped!!! Trapped because my "A" husband still hasn't fixed the brakes on my car, and it's just sitting out in the yard lookin' like a piece of junk crap! The sun is taking the paint off in places...the battery is just a few months new, but already loosing charge because it's&n...

CarrieB · CarrieB

Hello. I've just joined both forums as I don't know which is right for me. I went to an ACoA meeting twice before. I got uncomfortable because no one talked to me nor really explained the format. Everyone gathered around in a circle kind of tranced. Each took a turn talking...

Diva · Diva

I liked Isabela's post so much, I thought it might be fun for those of us who wish to write a short biographical sketch of ourselves. I feel that I know so many of you, and would love to hear what you do, what you enjoy, what your interests are; the usual stuff. Not one word about the A. Anyone interested? I wi...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I was at work today. My A, Tina calls around 1pm. She left with me this am to take two of our pets to the vet. The dog ,Bess has a rash on her nose . It is a fungus like ringworm. The cat, Bug has flea dermetitis. He had a shot for his bad allergy. just one flea breaks him out. Tina got home and found severa...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

In HOPE FOR TODAY, the writer of a reading not too far ago discusses how her home life--alcholic and violent--created such fear in her that, any time she was in a position of authority, usually in an employment situation, the consistent pattern that emerged was fear based control; inab...

Freatlast · Freatlast

Today was/is a good day

daisy2 · daisy2

Hi all, as you know by now, im doing my own thing with my recovery and some of you will not agree with me, but im here becouse i want to share and maybe someone is in same situation as me. I started to look at my relationship with my Abf in different light. I picked some books from my mother. Nothing to do wi...

cher · cher

updata, hubby has done 7 meetings in 7 days with AA. WOW what a change, whole mentality has changed, not stopped drinking yet completly, but they dont encourage that right away. This is all he has been talking about and it has made a huge difference in the way he thinks. and because of this chat line, at le...

artygirl · artygirl

So here's my situation now... I told my A, cocaine-addicted husband that he needed to get help or get out. I've said it many times, but this week I said it again, meant it and plan to follow through with my threat. I'm calling a lawyer first thing Monday and one of us is moving out of our house. He doesn't kno...

debilyn · debilyn

whoa is this what it feels like to be a fool??? To think I spouted my love for him, and shared his fake love in jail to me. TT saw it, said don't get sucked into the drama. abbyal saw it. others saw it. All these years, using me, taking all he could. Never being there. giving me bits of hope since I wa...

gardengal · gardengal

Oh man, am I there yet? For years I have tried and tried to control the alcoholics drinking,,failing miserabley each time. Falling down in dispair, but eventually getting up and trying again and again. I was definately slamming my head against a brick wall! Because I loved my husband of 30 years, I was...

debilyn · debilyn

Well since I am an open book, most of you know, or some of you know, maybe two of you read my stuff and know? haha You know how I said I was letting go again, that it is back to where it was before he went to jail? my A that is? I am ok, and those feelings of omg he is back??? Are gone. Which is good, hp does...

debilyn · debilyn

I need to let things out. Hope it is ok to vent. I know I am tired, it is evening. My son called. I asked he not call A but to go face him. A can act all big and scarey on the phone, but face to face, with my (his bio son) very big powerful son, he is a larvae. Feel sick inside and very sad. Th...

Gramma Pat · Gramma Pat

Here it is Friday afternoon and I am about to cry at the thought of going home in an hour. I can't seem to stay focused on any of the possitive things that will come without my A husband. I go between totally teed off and boohooing like a fool. I wish there was some way we could just talk ab...

artygirl · artygirl

I just spent the evening with my best friend and my husband's former best friend (his best friend from childhood until just recently when he confronted him about his addictions and behavior.) They both made me realize enough is enough. My husband is not only an extremely active alcoholic, but a cocai...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah called me last night at 3am. he knows the kids are gone all weekend. i was looking forward to a good night's sleep. but no. he's drunk and has to make sure i am here. the thing is when i was telling my friend this story she assumed he just wanted to get together for a quickie. no, i explained. maybe a reg...

frog58 · frog58

start saving the coins....woudln't it be great to try to meet up........... July 4 - 6, 2008 Al-Anon International Convention with AA Participation Pittsburgh, PA USA Updates will be available on the WSO website beginning in 2007, but individual members planning to attend can start saving no...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Detachment - One Baby Step At A Time (Preview) ((((Roomies))))), I am getting ready to celebrate my 1-year anniversary in Al-Anon - yeah! As many of us have, I have really struggled with getting my head around what detachment is, and last night I had a bit of a break through. I was completing an exercise on detachment in which I was asked to list...	BlueCloud	3	472	Aug 23, 2006 by Karilynn
	Hurting (Preview) I hardly know where to start. My boyfriend and I have lived together for 5 years and I am now realizing his drinking problem won't do away...no matter how it hurts me. He drinks every day and is verbally abusive to me, and when he does we fight and he leaves saying he is tried of me doing ...wha...	LadyLibra	7	465	Aug 23, 2006 by Georgia girl
	I feel like I'm going crazy!!! (Preview) I've been married for 32 years, and I can't take it anymore!! My A has become so distant and hurtful... I'm afraid he's killing any love I have left for him. It's gotten progressively worse, and now I KNOW he's a full blown A... He forgets what he says, the next day after he's been drinking... talks to be li...	Georgia girl	5	555	Aug 23, 2006 by Georgia girl
	A new beginning???? (Preview) Wow.... it's nice to be back!!! It's been awhile since I've been here. Sooo much has happened... I was married to an Alcoholic/Addict for 10 years and two years ago divorced him b/c of his behavior after a night out painting the town red. The police were called and I ended up in the emergenc...	Samena	2	329	Aug 23, 2006 by Tiger2006
	who's most stubborn do you think? (Preview) Hi everyone, I'd love to hear you views on this one! I have been told in the past (few years ago) that I can be quite stubborn (your way or no way....was the quote). I agree I can be this way at times. I think I am more willing to consider other's viewpoints now though. I have learned a lot and grown in th...	annmarie	5	506	Aug 23, 2006 by annmarie
	Do I want to keep doing this? (Preview) That is the question that I keep asking myself. When is enough enough. I have read several books on alcoholism and go to both online and f2f meetings. I can accept that alcoholism is a disease. I can accept that certain behaviors of the alcoholic are typical and to think othe...	JulieLynn	4	433	Aug 23, 2006 by Karilynn
	dont know what to do (Preview) my husband and i have been together since 98,and since then he has been in and out of rehab six times,for drugs and alcohol{plus he is type 2 bi-polar}he was on probation for 3 years for many dui's.he started drinking and using drugs again in dec just 2 months after he got off probation,and it is getting w...	bev	5	387	Aug 23, 2006 by bev
	Ask yourself....What do you really need to let the natural healing forces within you to go to work? (Preview) Something to think about.........something to explore just for yourself!!! I think us alanoners take so much time and energy worrying about the A's in our lives, we tend to put ourselves on the back burner of life. We take care, worry, try to fix, try to control everyone else around us, and yet let the m...	gardengal	4	368	Aug 23, 2006 by annmarie
	Considering Divorce, Seeking Advice (Preview) Hi everyone, I have been reading these posts with much interest. I have been going to see a therapist for the past 6 months, who has been helping me see my husband has an alcohol problem. I have been watching his drinking, but he typically drinks at night when I am in bed. He is a self employed writer who t...	Linda Jean	6	399	Aug 23, 2006 by smpoli
	New and Confused (Preview) Hi. After almost 14 years of marriage I told my husband I can't live like this anymore. And I don't know if I am doing the right thing or not. Because it hurts so much. My husband is a good man, loving, everything I ever wanted in a mate...but when he drinks too much which eventua...	Kris	2	424	Aug 23, 2006 by smpoli
	sainthood? (Preview) my ex ah just called and we talked for about an hour. he sounds still slightly drunk. but he was reaching out from the disease. i stayed in my program. i spoke from my experience and told him that i have no answers for him. he came right out and told me that he wishes i could save him. and i told him that i can't....	serendipity	3	447	Aug 23, 2006 by Jerry F
	12 steps pre- alanon (Preview) the alanon speaker at our convention this past winter was incredible (ofcourse) and she had these steps which continue to crack me up and make me think. it is so close to who i was and who ican slip into being. i hope y'all enjoy them too! 1. discovered i was powerful over others and your lives wer...	serendipity	1	519	Aug 22, 2006 by BlueCloud
	withdrawing my application for sainthood (Preview) my ex ah called to speak to the kids. they aren't home from camping. so, i was telling him about how the speaker's meeting last night (aa) the speaker was an old friend of ours who he went thru rehab with. i told him how neat it was to see him and how his story was great and it was just so nice to see an old friend....	serendipity	5	1340	Aug 22, 2006 by maresie2
	More on Vinny, etc (Preview) We got to visit Vinny on Saturday. He is in alot of pain. The vet said he did 2 hours of surgery. 2 hernia repairs. He had drains on both sides & stables. He was sitting side saddled on the table. He let us hug & kiss on him. He looked so far away, I know he was hurting & probably going what wa...	hmrnrnmm	2	306	Aug 22, 2006 by maresie2
	I woke up..... (Preview) and felt better. I called my regular dentist who said, for petes sake get in here NOW. so he and his great staff helped me out, did not charge me for the visit or xrays, so my bill was very low and I can make it in four payments!!! hp is good... I know I have been a pill. Being in pain is a drag. b...	debilyn	4	362	Aug 22, 2006 by maresie2
	I'm a huge chicken! (Preview) As you may have read in my last two posts... I'm fed up with my alcoholic/cocaine-addicted hubby. He has not made any kind of effort to get his life together. He spent most of the weekend away from home on a binge. I have my mind made up that I want to separate from him... and most likely divorce him. In fact,...	artygirl	4	398	Aug 22, 2006 by lin0606
	The Cat Who Adopted My Husband (Preview) Just a silly post, but I thought maybe some of you might find it amuseing. I have often talked in chat about how my husband hates my cats. I had them before I had him, and he used to like them pretty good, but as the drinking increased, so did his hatred of my cats. I have had them about 1...	Becky1	8	542	Aug 22, 2006 by Karilynn
	One Wonderful Day At A Time (Preview) Hello Friends, I am having one of those mixed up days today.....So I thought I'd come in and just let it out....Friday I went to see about a job...have to be back Monday morning and talk to the supervisor...I know her personally so it will be fine..just a little concerned about the hours....don't t...	Andrea12	4	503	Aug 22, 2006 by Karilynn
	confidence (Preview) Well to many this may seem a small step but to me it is a big one. Today I was out the back sweeping up the patio having a general clean up and then looking around the backyard for mesh to cover the holes our dogs have dug. Started off enjoying it then looked around me at things that have been negl...	leo	4	385	Aug 22, 2006 by Karilynn
	I'm Back ! (Preview) Woooo Hoooo!!! And I'm powerless. For the last 3 week I've been caring for my mom, who has dementia and motor problems, while my dad heals from open heart surgery. I don't think my life has been this unmanagable since my AH was in the house, lol. My dad absolutely refused...	Lunamoth	5	330	Aug 22, 2006 by Karilynn
	Body,Mind,and Spirit have suffered enough (Preview) (((Family))) I've had an Ah-ha realization yesterday. I took off from work because my weekend was stressful. Not because of anything serious that happened, just my attitude and perception of my environment. I really took my stress and irritation out on the kids, just snappy...	twinmom2	3	365	Aug 22, 2006 by AlaMom
	Pondering and wondering.... (Preview) hi guys just to update for you... my ex "A" turned up from his travels... and got back on track... he still not working but has decided to go back to college which is good. however he is still in the depths o depression... he goes thru periods of being happy with loadsa energy and looks forward to doing ne...	Rebecca	2	336	Aug 22, 2006 by annmarie
	for the first time (Preview) The horrible, mean, manipulative, liar, living with another woman, A has hurt me so bad, that I hate my husband who does not have the balls to stand up and choose the light. NO I am not free. He loves that, able to hold onto me. whatever. sexless wonder he is. Don't think I have ever felt like thi...	debilyn	6	511	Aug 21, 2006 by maresie2
	thoink you (Preview) (oo) snouters, Your posts made me laugh and cry too. You guys are awful smart. I needed all the words everyone posted. It hurts to go thru these milestones in alanon. But becuz we help each other, it makes it easier. I turned my phones off and I am not emailing right now. I feel I need a break fr...	debilyn	3	351	Aug 21, 2006 by maresie2
	right where we are supposed to be?? (Preview) (((((alanon family)))) Could someone please explain this to me? I hear it often that I am right where I am supposed to be,and everyone else seems to agree and understand.I guess I must be dense. We all know we can make bad decisions,bad choices.If I had stayed separated from my AH 10 years ag...	drucilla06	6	611	Aug 21, 2006 by kitty
	Anyone know about parole violation? (Preview) Here's my pickle. My aunt got released from jail on July 5th. She served 8 months for her 3rd or 4th DUI. She was staying with my mom, helping mom after a near death illness and left mom's place suddenly on August 9th and never came back. We found out on the 11t...	whittibo	4	372	Aug 21, 2006 by whittibo
	Who would withstand this insanity? (Preview) In one of my meditation books there was a line that caught my eye "Beauty and self love is a taught behavior that becomes habit--like self hatred." As I meditated on that today, I paused for a moment and realized I still have reminants of self hatred that we talk about in the 3 C's (I didn't ca...	Tiger2006	4	410	Aug 21, 2006 by lmt123
	Great meeting (Preview) We had our district roundup this weekend - it is an AA/alanon weekend, held at a local campground. It's always quite a lot of fun - pot luck dinner on Saturday night, pancake breakfast on Sunday, lot of open meetings, and speakers. It's never very well organized here - nobody ever knows who's doing...	lin0606	0	308	Aug 21, 2006 by lin0606
	Update-Elephant in the Living Room (Preview) Morning All, A couple of weeks ago I posted about the proverbial elephant in my living room and my concerns if he would join us on our family vacation. Well I am happy to say that he apparently took a seperate vacation. While not a perfect vacation - it was a good one. I had a couple of...	AlaMom	3	419	Aug 21, 2006 by megan
	detachment or abandonment? (Preview) I am trying very hard to detach from my son and his problems with alcohol and with his life (related to his problems, of course). This weekend started great with Friday's good activity with him and his ex and their baby going out to eat...a new tradition they are trying. Saturday morning he called to say...	omajoy	5	690	Aug 21, 2006 by greta
	Hanging on (Preview) First, I want to say thanks to everyone here, as the meetings and chats are helping me to get by, one day at a time. :) I'm learning more every day. I'm still having a really horrible time, and I feel guilty as I'm reading about so many active A's... my own A is newly in recovery, sober (as far...	GreenGem	4	403	Aug 21, 2006 by Becky1
	I lost in court (Preview) I had a hearing for yesterday for the restraining order I pulled on my almost ex, keeping his truck and emergency support. I got 1 out of three. The restraining order is in effect for 1 year. I only got this because he admitted pulling a gun. Lied about only pulling it on himsel...	Freatlast	17	584	Aug 21, 2006 by peewee
	So Today (Preview) So today I wake with only a small amount of anxiousness...this is good for me. The weekend was exhausting as most of mom's house is packed, sorted, etc. It is a very emotional journey. I have not talked to my A since Friday, as he went fishing for the weekend. I sat last night re...	marmare	1	321	Aug 21, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Gambling (Preview) I began my own recovery journey from alcoholism and drug addiction in 1987. I have also had a lot of therapy - like 17 years - to deal with depression, anxiety and avoidance issues. It's been long hard road, but worth every step. I am well employed and own my own condo now, which is paid for. About...	babz	5	739	Aug 21, 2006 by babz
	Have I really had enough? (Preview) I keep asking myself, that question. Will I ever have had enough? LOL I have to smile at that because every time I have had enough, jumped at the bait, lost myself in my A's problems, he becomes charming, sober, and caring. I have been at my mother's house 2 1/2 months. While sh...	marmare	4	430	Aug 21, 2006 by hersh
	I know I am not alone... (Preview) My husband was doing good for several days, just drinking beer and not vodka, not getting drunk every night. Then he told me that I was making his life miserable b.c I was all over him for his drinking. I realized that he was not ready for any kind of help, so I detached my self from the whole th...	desperate for help	3	484	Aug 21, 2006 by beachbaby
	Religious Promotion or Endorsement is NOT Allowed Here! (Preview) If I want to quote religious scriptures, promote or advertise my religious beliefs, belittle, degrade others beliefs, condemn them with the wrath of God, or threaten them with hell etc.. I could and should join a like minded chat room, or a local ministry.. It doesn't belong in A...	John	30	6906	Aug 21, 2006 by jaja
	turning it over (Preview) Greetings all, Two weeks ago I started my god box and placed the outcome of my current job in it. For the last two hours the committee in my head (the old thought patterns), is taking it out. I keep telling the committee it's not mine anymore...yet I keep dwelling on it and worry a...	frog58	7	527	Aug 21, 2006 by Freatlast
	puzzled (Preview)	jaja	1	329	Aug 21, 2006 by Lunamoth
	If You're Going Through Hell (Preview) For some reason, I love this song! I like to turn it up real loud and sing along! I'm going to keep on going, and I'm not gonna slow down or show that I am scared. I'm getting out of my personal hell! One Day at a Time. Thanks to HP and my Al-anon Angel friends. Yee-haw! ...	Becky1	4	507	Aug 21, 2006 by Becky1
	can you guide me to a good reading on poor self-esteem and codependance (Preview) i thank you in advance!	shamama	3	412	Aug 21, 2006 by kitty
	My fear of divorce (Preview) Not because I will miss all of the drama, or even him for that matter at this point because I'm totally fed up with the drinking, the verbal abuse, and the broken promises. I have had it. He ruins almost every social event, weekend, and holiday for everyone. Everytime he gets drunk I get to hear a...	endoftherope	4	574	Aug 21, 2006 by isabela40
	Every Rule (Preview) Based upon some topics I have begun to wonder the following: Every rule has its exceptions. If this is true and we focus on the exceptions and not the rule, are we taking politcal correctness to absurd lengths? For instance: if alcoholism generally involves denial, but there are some alcoholi...	ditto	3	393	Aug 20, 2006 by Lunamoth
	I Cant Get Busy/or Better if..... (Preview) I'm trapped!!! Trapped because my "A" husband still hasn't fixed the brakes on my car, and it's just sitting out in the yard lookin' like a piece of junk crap! The sun is taking the paint off in places...the battery is just a few months new, but already loosing charge because it's&n...	afmom03	6	660	Aug 20, 2006 by lin0606
	Al-Anon vs ACoA? (Preview) Hello. I've just joined both forums as I don't know which is right for me. I went to an ACoA meeting twice before. I got uncomfortable because no one talked to me nor really explained the format. Everyone gathered around in a circle kind of tranced. Each took a turn talking...	CarrieB	4	952	Aug 20, 2006 by CarrieB
	Short bios (Preview) I liked Isabela's post so much, I thought it might be fun for those of us who wish to write a short biographical sketch of ourselves. I feel that I know so many of you, and would love to hear what you do, what you enjoy, what your interests are; the usual stuff. Not one word about the A. Anyone interested? I wi...	Diva	11	3802	Aug 20, 2006 by mimi
	Urgent Prayers needed for our dog (Preview) I was at work today. My A, Tina calls around 1pm. She left with me this am to take two of our pets to the vet. The dog ,Bess has a rash on her nose . It is a fungus like ringworm. The cat, Bug has flea dermetitis. He had a shot for his bad allergy. just one flea breaks him out. Tina got home and found severa...	hmrnrnmm	9	1168	Aug 20, 2006 by hmrnrnmm
	Ambiguity in relationships (Preview) In HOPE FOR TODAY, the writer of a reading not too far ago discusses how her home life--alcholic and violent--created such fear in her that, any time she was in a position of authority, usually in an employment situation, the consistent pattern that emerged was fear based control; inab...	Tiger2006	2	521	Aug 20, 2006 by sld488
	All I have to say is.... (Preview) Today was/is a good day	Freatlast	2	342	Aug 20, 2006 by sld488
	MY RECOVERY (Preview) Hi all, as you know by now, im doing my own thing with my recovery and some of you will not agree with me, but im here becouse i want to share and maybe someone is in same situation as me. I started to look at my relationship with my Abf in different light. I picked some books from my mother. Nothing to do wi...	daisy2	2	424	Aug 20, 2006 by daisy2
	still very very happy Update (Preview) updata, hubby has done 7 meetings in 7 days with AA. WOW what a change, whole mentality has changed, not stopped drinking yet completly, but they dont encourage that right away. This is all he has been talking about and it has made a huge difference in the way he thinks. and because of this chat line, at le...	cher	4	424	Aug 20, 2006 by daisy2
	The next morning... (Preview) So here's my situation now... I told my A, cocaine-addicted husband that he needed to get help or get out. I've said it many times, but this week I said it again, meant it and plan to follow through with my threat. I'm calling a lawyer first thing Monday and one of us is moving out of our house. He doesn't kno...	artygirl	5	529	Aug 19, 2006 by lin0606
	a fool (Preview) whoa is this what it feels like to be a fool??? To think I spouted my love for him, and shared his fake love in jail to me. TT saw it, said don't get sucked into the drama. abbyal saw it. others saw it. All these years, using me, taking all he could. Never being there. giving me bits of hope since I wa...	debilyn	13	682	Aug 19, 2006 by leo
	Can you accept the fact that you cant control the alcoholic nor any other adult person and truly accept that alcoholism is an illness? (Preview) Oh man, am I there yet? For years I have tried and tried to control the alcoholics drinking,,failing miserabley each time. Falling down in dispair, but eventually getting up and trying again and again. I was definately slamming my head against a brick wall! Because I loved my husband of 30 years, I was...	gardengal	10	803	Aug 19, 2006 by maresie2
	Would be so lost w/out ya'll (Preview) Well since I am an open book, most of you know, or some of you know, maybe two of you read my stuff and know? haha You know how I said I was letting go again, that it is back to where it was before he went to jail? my A that is? I am ok, and those feelings of omg he is back??? Are gone. Which is good, hp does...	debilyn	3	410	Aug 19, 2006 by maresie2
	me again, sorry (Preview) I need to let things out. Hope it is ok to vent. I know I am tired, it is evening. My son called. I asked he not call A but to go face him. A can act all big and scarey on the phone, but face to face, with my (his bio son) very big powerful son, he is a larvae. Feel sick inside and very sad. Th...	debilyn	3	451	Aug 19, 2006 by TLC2
	Could we Pleeeeese not have weekends (Preview) Here it is Friday afternoon and I am about to cry at the thought of going home in an hour. I can't seem to stay focused on any of the possitive things that will come without my A husband. I go between totally teed off and boohooing like a fool. I wish there was some way we could just talk ab...	Gramma Pat	4	490	Aug 19, 2006 by Freatlast
	I'm pretty sure my marriage is over. (Preview) I just spent the evening with my best friend and my husband's former best friend (his best friend from childhood until just recently when he confronted him about his addictions and behavior.) They both made me realize enough is enough. My husband is not only an extremely active alcoholic, but a cocai...	artygirl	4	633	Aug 19, 2006 by beachbaby
	new boundry (Preview) my ex ah called me last night at 3am. he knows the kids are gone all weekend. i was looking forward to a good night's sleep. but no. he's drunk and has to make sure i am here. the thing is when i was telling my friend this story she assumed he just wanted to get together for a quickie. no, i explained. maybe a reg...	serendipity	4	459	Aug 19, 2006 by Jerry F
	alanon international convention (Preview) start saving the coins....woudln't it be great to try to meet up........... July 4 - 6, 2008 Al-Anon International Convention with AA Participation Pittsburgh, PA USA Updates will be available on the WSO website beginning in 2007, but individual members planning to attend can start saving no...	frog58	2	631	Aug 19, 2006 by isabela40
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