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My husband was doing good for several days, just drinking beer and not vodka, not getting drunk every night. Then he told me that I was making his life miserable b.c I was all over him for his drinking. I realized that he was not ready for any kind of help, so I detached my self from the whole thing. I handed him and his disease over to HP. It has been a downward spiral ever since. Now he hides the fact that he drinks at home. I found small bottles of vodka in the garbage today under some stuff. He drank them all last night. Then I saw an empty bottle of vodka in the garage. He didn't think I saw it and he threw it away outside and covered it well. I don't say a word anymore. He says that he does have a drinking problem, but that he is still healthy b/c he eats healthy food and excersies every day. No one can convince that drinking as much vodka as he does EVERY night is good for him. I would hate to see what his liver looks like.
I have thought about leaving him. I told him this...Did I do it? No! Why? b/c I am a chicken. I have 3 young kids and I would be scared out of my mind to do it.
The thing I hate about his drinking is that he does it at night. So all day long he's a fabulous husband and a great Dad, then the sun goes down and all hell breaks out. I sometimes pray that the sun never goes down.
One day at a time...that's what I keep repeating to myself.
Where can I find out about meetings. I found one website, but they are all too far from me.
Hi and welcome , call 1-888-4alanon it is international and toll free , they will give u meeting locations in yor area and a contact number . good luck Louise
A's hide bottles as much from themselves as they do for you. out of site I didn't drink much today . so sad Denial runs pretty deep . As we learn to detach and acceptthe fact that we can't stop them from drinking our lives improve . And regardless of what he says you are not the reason he drinks . And don't let beer fool you , my husb drank nothing but all his life and ended up a cronic alcoholic almost killing himself with liver failure b efore he found sobriety. Good luck with the meetings and keep the focus on yourself.
Welcome and keep coming back to this board for support. Read all you can about alcoholism as a disease and its effects on the family, you can read the aa big book online, click on the AA Group Page and you will find it. It gave me a better awareness of the disease, which for me, was completely necessary in order for me to begin my recovery process.
The purpose of al-anon is for you to recover whether or not the alcoholic is still drinking or not. We understand where you are and its not easy. But there is hope for us! This wonderful 12 step program helps us to cope not to mention its a great way to live!!!
Keep the focus on you, try to find some local meetings and take it one day at a time or minute at a time!