The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have had a major slip this pass couple of weeks. I have been very unhappy in my home that I live in. I live with two men one is my husband and the other is his grown 24 yr old son. His son was supposed to stay with us for six months three yrs later he is still here. His son has emontiol problems and has never been taught how to deal with them. Instead it seem he is lashing out at me. He wanted to live with his mom however his father doesn't want to let him, he father is pushing him to work at the post office we he has failed before, so he upset that he might fail again, and instead of being angry with his father he is angry at me. I haven't been an angel i have had a resentment that his son has not moved out of the house, so i too am arguing with his son. We have alot of fighting going on every day it seem. I am also having a problem his father is getting older an might have protate problems which is hard for me to deal with. The other thing is that I am turning 30 next month and i am upset about that.
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
We all have slips now and again, we are human and are not perfect.
I know for me, I am very proud when I am able to become aware of my slips. I see growth in my awareness. I have also noticed that once I become aware of a slip I catch myself sooner the next time I feel myself slip in the same way.
Take care of you. Do something nice for you. Living in chaos sometimes makes it hard for me to maintain my serenity. That's when I need to take care of myself the most.
Yours in recovery,
Dolphin123
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
A slip is a slip... its good to allow ourselves to be human and acknowledge we all have mishaps in our lives. I was recently telling my sponsor that living in the chaos for so long I forgot to acknowledge that I was under a great deal of stress everyday. I was trying to manage it but instead I was just allowing it to irritate me more. In the process I forgot my step work, forgot my tools, and went completely on pure instinct and reaction. Its still easy for me to get off track. Just today in fact I got into with my A on the phone because instead of me saying exactly how I felt about the topic of conversation I projected what I thought he was feeling. Of course this did not go well. I stewed about it for a few minutes and realized why I was so bothered, I called him back and let him know exactly what was on my mind and apologized for my projecting behavior. We're emotional beings and taking on someone else's child who has problems is no easy task. Be kind to you and gentle with your feelings, your allowed to be upset.
I agree 30 isn't so bad. 30 was a good year for me and I'd have to say riding my 30's has been much more gratifying than my 20's. Enjoy it!! Take care
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
I have seen you come so so far in this program. Of course some of us are going to slip back sometimes. I do understand about the issue of A's and who they surround themselves with. My A's family is something else. I would not go into a situation like that now.
I did at one time have a tremendous issue about 30 I thought it signified all this stuff. 20 years later I can still make age an issue but I don't. Nevertheless there are things about getting older. I do think that you have done so much work on yourself, your limits, your issues and taking care of yourself. I hope you will not be too hard on yourself today because a lot is up for you.
The fact that your "stepson" is only a few years younger than you is certainly a factor in your "slip". This type of family dynamic is ripe for friction.
Please don't blame yourself, you are living with a lot of things that most people, even very emotionaly healthy ones who don't struggle with others alcoholism, find challenging, such as a much older mate, grown stepchildren, grown up children still living in the home, emotional illness, etc..
In other words there is a LOT more going on here than an "alanon type of slip".
It sounds like you are coping remarkebly well with a situation that most people your age would run screaming from, LOL. You are aware of your part in it and working on your reactions.
Give yourself a pat on the back, you are on the right track, looking at yourself and your part in it, looking at things honestly and realistically, and not looking around just trying to find someone to blame.
Keep on doing what you are doing, I hope things get better for you soon.
Oh, and turning thirty is no big deal when you think about how far you have come in life and how much you have learned.
