Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

serendipity · serendipity

I know I didn't Cause it I can't Control it I can't Cure it I have heard in meetings that I can Contribute to the disease and I can Care. These were huge for me.Seeing my part in the family disease finally gave me something I could actually do about it. W...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Well I think my A got a bit of a wake-up call seeing me with someone else recently. He showed up at my place today saying he felt like his heart had been ripped out and that he wanted to stop drinking if it meant he could have his family back (meaning me and our son).. However he said after seeing me at the park...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I just want to let you all know that a relationship can be maintained with your ex. I have set boundaries as before. I only speak with him during the day, when I know he his sober. We still support the boys together at sporting events, some people probably don't even know we are divorced, LOL. When th...

rtexas · rtexas

Hello ((((Everyone)))) "There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein (1879-1955) I recieved this quote in an email from my sponsor yesterday. You know, just the very existance of this program...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

My A son is in a diversion center trying to get his life straightened out. Him and his wife are going thru a divorce because of my sons drug and alcohol problems. Well my dil called me last night and she said that because my son will not sign the divorce papers and because he will not be paying child-suppo...

Scigirl · Scigirl

This is my first time participating in this forum. Where to start?! I am married to an alcoholic. He seems like the ideal husband and father most of the time but every once in a while he goes on a binge. Last night he took off after I fell asleep and hasn't been home since (24 hrs). He won't an...

Rora · Rora

Yesterday was mine and Ah's 5th anniversary. I was worked up to have a horrible day. We were getting together to discuss things. I had to speak to my sponsor before he arrived, who shot it to me plain and simple... "Your attitude stinks and you've decided to have a horrible day with your A....

maresie2 · maresie2

One of my latest key insights is that the A crashes from fantasy about as much as he crashes from alcohol. Right now he has a huge fantasy about doing a geographic. I am trying to get out of his way as much as possible. I am tired of taking the heat and blame when his fantasy crashes. So he is either catatonic...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))) Well, I have been missing from here for almost three weeks.... And I have missed you guys so much... I'm not in any better shape than when I left here. It's been five weeks since my relationship ended, and I'm still in a daze. I am still cryi...

theprofessor · theprofessor

My AH and I, we have marriage counseling this week. I am dreading going, mainly because he's been brooding over my latest actions for the latter part of the week, and I know I am going to look like a complete a**hole in our session today. I finally got really fed up last week, this time over the woman w...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. --William Blake We have a right to claim our own feelings. Sometimes we get angry, but hold it inside because we think it's wrong to feel it. If anger builds inside us, it expands like a b...

Alyce · Alyce

From childhood I grew up in a house where I was taught not show feelings (only happy ones). Anyway, when my mother passed away and I started to cry she said "Don't cry" and I just stuffed the feelings. I realized I never really grieved my mother's death, just went about business. ...

maire rua · maire rua

I am feeling really down right now, today my ex-A who had been living with me for the last two months but left last sunday, progressed to a new level for him, drinking during the day in order to play darts properly. I know I should not be surprised or disappointed that drinking comes before his family and o...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I started thinking about this. I have waited eight years for my ah to change his way and to become sober...........and then once sober to not become a dry drunk.......well he's done both. So now he's sober (again) and I got to thinking, if this is for real......how will I ever know? Will I keep l...

virjennyan · virjennyan

I have 1 sibling - a brother who has been in recovery a short time. I have recently learned to "let go", and am still working on it. For me, letting go means no longer having any expectations, and no longer reaching out. I have always been the one to initiate contact with him, except when he w...

lam0204 · lam0204

Has anyone had any experiences with interventions? I was told it may be helpful with my ex husband who is an alcoholic. I would like to hear some input on them because I know they don't always work. thanks.

smpoli · smpoli

I am pleased that my A has finally admitted, again, that he is in fact an A. I wish i could add that he is going to meetings, but hasn't since Sat. I am hopeful that he is on the right track though. We had an issue with Bryon the other day and I did an unexpected trip to Portland. He is ok now, but really sc...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'm hoping you will tell me what you think of this situation. I'm not sure what to do. Three weeks ago I was visiting my sister and she sat me down saying she wanted to talk to me. I was uneasy. I hate being put under pressure. I knew what she was going to say. Years ago my younger sister (...

JMW · JMW

Hello... I'm new to all of this. I've never ever heard about Alanon until today, and I immedeatley rushed online to find something...anything... to help myself. I am so desperate, and so brutally alone. My boyfriend of four, (almost five!) years has been knocking back a bottle of vodka a d...

horselover58 · horselover58

I am still getting banned. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! There is no way to get the message to the op on duty because when I try to type a message in, it says "not on channel." It goes on & on about spam, abuse & my ISP Thumpernet being banned!!! I did try the website to figure it out, but I...

mama_nz · mama_nz

I was reading a bit about codepenency on http://www.recovery-man.com/coda/codependency.htm I'm was a bit confused by this term. Did it imply that if you live with what you believe to be an alcoholic and you display co-dependent traits that you may just be imagining or exaggerating the fact...

minnie · minnie

Hey family. It seems like i've been doing a lot of feeling sorry for myself lately. i hate that. i hate being sad and depressed, and sometimes i hate my husband for making me feel this way. then i remember, that i'm letting him make me feel this way. and that makes me so angry at myself. why do i let him do this...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

OK this came up before, but last night was the first time I really spoke up about it. The A takes pain medication, quite a long history of it. The doctor switched to Methadone. The A doesn't take that so much. The A has been stockpiling the leftovers, has a significant ammount. Occaisionally talks...

Fifi · Fifi

I am just gonna ramble because my mind is foggy.....days,nights,events,arguments,conflicts, LACK OF UNDERSTANDING....life with my live in A bf has gotten to a really confusing place. He is sober, going to meetings and therapy and trying to handle his underlying problems as a sober adult for the f...

Fifi · Fifi

I had a nice afternoon with my Asober bf....my family had been visiting and he was on his best behavior. But all morning wasmisery...me crying, him criticizing but saying he wasn't....saying my reaction to what he says is my responsibility and I always misjudge his words...sounds too much to me like...

dot · dot

Hi all - Just a reminder that our business meeting wll be Sun - March 4 at 9pm ET See you there - Dot

Gailey · Gailey

Yesterday I had sort of a relapse. Do you think it has anything to do with missing my weekly meetings for the last month or so? lol....of course it does! I had a confrontation with A son. He visits his children at my house when I have them. He is not allowed to drive them anywhere or be alone with him. my, now e...

mama_nz · mama_nz

I have been separated from my ex (A) for a year now. I recently met someone who seems genuinely good, and I like him. Well okay we met online so I know I have to be wary. Decided to meet up with him today and I suggested we meet at the park down by where I live, it has a big lake where you can feed the ducks, lots...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Oops I don't know how I managed to post this twice, must have hit refresh button. Sorry. -- Edited by mama_nz at 21:33, 2007-03-03

theprofessor · theprofessor

Hi all, I am new here, so let me introduce myself. I am a 30-year old woman, married to an off and on alcoholic for nearly 4 years. I say off and on due to his episodes; it's never a continuous thing. He can go for an entire year without drinking and then just pick up a bottle and end his sobriety. We do not h...

maresie2 · maresie2

These past two weeks I have had a hard time detaching from the A. As you know I am in the middle of yet another job search. I have a job, albeit very rudimentary and 2 days off in the week to look for work. As normal the A does no housework to speak of. He can't lift a cup, sweep a floor, pick up nothing. So...

puzzle · puzzle

some nights I just can not see how I can stay with him for the rest of my life!!!!!!! Living like this. OK, I will say I don't get this miserable very often at all any more but when I am in physcal pain and after working my patootie off pick-axing, shoveling, pick -axing some more for 5 hours in the freezi...

nmike · nmike

Well, I survived a trip with my AHsober to see our son in the military. My AHsober was so careful to avoid any close contact with me. I just love the way he lectures our son - do what I say and not what I do. I told him that I see that we have 4 meetings - he presents his side, I present my side, we share together, an...

jajanma · jajanma

I have been making myself sick over this one. My A has been drinking almost daily for months. It has been horrible around here......I am the only one working right now, full time, overnight stocking for Wal-mart. I don't have my own car right now, so I am using his to get to work and back. He does some...

annmarie · annmarie

My exA called me last night. I haven't spoken to him in weeks, even then it was short and curt. Anyway he was sober last night, says he's been sober for a few weeks now and is realising his mistakes, his losses. He says he's going to occasional meetings. He doesn't like meetings, but is t...

gardengal · gardengal

Sometimes just writing things down instead of just thinking them, gets us motivated to get on with life with things that are important for our health and minds. Those of us who live or have lived with active alcoholism become stagnant in life, and feel nothing is worth the effort Sometimes even gettin...

angel123 · angel123

This morning our topic was :let it Begin with me" and "Keep it Simple" Someone suggested I post something in my share the 7 P's Pain (sharing) Prayer (HP I choice to call God) Program (Alanon) Perspective (food for thought from others) Progress (where i was and where i am tod...

Alyce · Alyce

I realize when looking back that I took no responsibility for my life, my credit, my happiness, or anything related to me for that matter. I made and still continue to make choices passively, but I am learning. I am struggling with something lately. Both my spouses and my credit was ruined due to l...

jaja · jaja

Okay, a long time ago I learned what an enabler is and how I've been one in my marriage to my A. So I have learned how to keep out of the way of his drinking ( not ALL the time) and let him deal with it his own self. But I'm thinking that maybe enabling and controlling are related. A few time...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I only post to complain about the A and sometimes when I don't have anything to complain about I remember something from way back and bring it up. This is not good, I know that. Probably stems from some sort of codependant something or another, and I want to refresh a little. I want to say that my AH has...

Katy · Katy

Ok my storey so far , hubby in aa but not working any programme, thinks putting the drink down is suffice, now replacing drinking with working 24/7 and woe betide anyone that questions his motives, how dare we, so he's decided to work himself to a frazzle, so now we have a highly stressed human bein...

maresie2 · maresie2

One of the A's favorite retorts is that he is going to up and leave. I never really took it seriously. Turns out in some of his little excursions that last 3 days or so like when he runs out and leaves and doesn't come back for days he has been going to see family who live like 2 hours away from here. ...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hey family i haven't posted in a while. im up the walls busy with work and play ..lol.. im very proud of myself.... i just realised that in the last number of weeks. there was a time when all i cud think about was my "A" and HIS life... HIS choices... and MY pain... they HE caused.. or that I...

ditto · ditto

Twenty years ago I met my very good friend. The first time she and her husband came to my house for dinner, they raided my liquor cabinet and got drunk. The second time they came to my house, they brought their own alcohol and got drunk. The third time they came to my house I set my boundaries. I told the...

bobump · bobump

I'm hoping to make it. Still up in the air but hoping to. Drop me a line. Would be great to put a face w/ the name or say hi to those I've met ! Bob

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I do believe I've lost it for good now. I mean, for good for good. See the puff of smoke? That was my sanity. Wave bye bye! Some of you know, or remember, or something like that, that I petitioned the university based on a psych eval that it turned up I had ADD (Is anyone surprised at my lack of attentio...

Maria123 · Maria123

For those of you who remember Cloud, she's due to have the baby anyday now. Having some "typical" pre-birth symptoms. Looking for some prayers. I'll keep you posted when she delivers. Maria

IceLady · IceLady

I am on my first step now, how do I know if I can moove on to step 2?

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"So waddya gonna do about it?" That was the quote that stood out to me from my post yesterday. No matter how many positive things were said, I zoom in on the one negative thing. Like any "good little ACA," I take on the attitude of Bob the Builder, "Can I fix it? Yes I can!&quo...

kerry5 · kerry5

Thought i would share here also my service experience in alanon face to face and here at Mip. When i entered alanon in person in 1999, I jumped into service right away after a few weeks. I started with getting there early setting up the tables and making coffee, then greeted the newcomers, then i eventua...

Jayda · Jayda

It's been a long time since I've been here, and things still aren't any better with my brother. Still lots of ups and downs. But now my husband has left me and I am hurting so bad. He said he needs some time to think and be alone. Please pray for us to recover from this and to be together again. I d...

carol · carol

My husband is my alcoholic. He is very sick. He is sober for a few weeks sometimes, then he starts drinking again ( about 120 ounces in 3 days) & then he is violently ill, vomiting, ketoacidosis( diabetic) and heart problems. I get him into the hospital and he is usually good for a couple of weeks...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so my mil tells me yesterday AH has a new job and needs this and that and I tell her he can kiss my @$$ . But she sends me these emails that he's been sending her and he sounds so not him, resigned I guess would be the right word. Still talking about how much he loves me etc. The new job is $20 an hr (dam...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Group))) Living my life for me has not been easy. In the last couple of weeks I've given some real thought about my life, the present circumstances, and what I want my future to look like. I know what I don't want. I don't want to be managing another person's emotions when I&#...

Lanchas · Lanchas

Here's a hypothetical scenario: A husband and wife are at a dinner/drinking party at a bar with a room full of friends. The husband and wife are both drunk. The husband ends up slow dancing and making out with another woman (who knows the man is married, knows the wife, has also been drinking) in fr...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I had to share this story with you because I found it inspiriering (sp) Please take the time to read this : According to an old legend, two monks named Tanzan and Ekido were traveling together down a muddly road one day. Heavy monsoon rains had saturated the area, and they were gratful for a few moments of...

fineline · fineline

I have been working steps and living the principles of the program for many yrs to the best of my ability. I chose to stay with my active husband and had carved out a life for myself where I could be happy no matter what he was doing. I finished a degree, raised two kids, got several promotions, was involved...

angel123 · angel123

As I start a new project setting up an aquarium…My thoughts started to “THINK,” how my life and program has a way to relate to Alanon. Always apply the program in my goals and achievements. I have a 30 gal tank…I had more than 30 gallons to take to Alanon tables when I first entered. Placing the 25 lbs of roc...

Lanchas · Lanchas

I got this off of the AA board and thought I'd share it: God, Grant me the Serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. Many folks do not understand the meanings of the Serenity Prayer, and of consequence are left in a limbo of con...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((All)) I'm starting to see a little bit again. At least today I know I am on the right website

I saw the doctor yesterday and my vision was 20/200 not a good number but a vast improvement over last week. It is extremely frustrating that the cause of these episodes has not been found yet...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	any more C's ? (Preview) I know I didn't Cause it I can't Control it I can't Cure it I have heard in meetings that I can Contribute to the disease and I can Care. These were huge for me.Seeing my part in the family disease finally gave me something I could actually do about it. W...	serendipity	9	487	Mar 6, 2007 by lilms
	How much contact to have with a recovering A (Preview) Well I think my A got a bit of a wake-up call seeing me with someone else recently. He showed up at my place today saying he felt like his heart had been ripped out and that he wanted to stop drinking if it meant he could have his family back (meaning me and our son).. However he said after seeing me at the park...	mama_nz	5	813	Mar 6, 2007 by HowToSaveALife
	For all who have an ex AH (Preview) I just want to let you all know that a relationship can be maintained with your ex. I have set boundaries as before. I only speak with him during the day, when I know he his sober. We still support the boys together at sporting events, some people probably don't even know we are divorced, LOL. When th...	jrtjosey	8	636	Mar 6, 2007 by Feather
	There are 2 ways to live your life... (Preview) Hello ((((Everyone)))) "There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein (1879-1955) I recieved this quote in an email from my sponsor yesterday. You know, just the very existance of this program...	rtexas	5	516	Mar 6, 2007 by annmarie
	I've been up all night crying (Preview) My A son is in a diversion center trying to get his life straightened out. Him and his wife are going thru a divorce because of my sons drug and alcohol problems. Well my dil called me last night and she said that because my son will not sign the divorce papers and because he will not be paying child-suppo...	JulieLynn	8	749	Mar 5, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Reality Bites!! (Preview) This is my first time participating in this forum. Where to start?! I am married to an alcoholic. He seems like the ideal husband and father most of the time but every once in a while he goes on a binge. Last night he took off after I fell asleep and hasn't been home since (24 hrs). He won't an...	Scigirl	5	352	Mar 5, 2007 by Scigirl
	My attitude stinks... (Preview) Yesterday was mine and Ah's 5th anniversary. I was worked up to have a horrible day. We were getting together to discuss things. I had to speak to my sponsor before he arrived, who shot it to me plain and simple... "Your attitude stinks and you've decided to have a horrible day with your A....	Rora	7	600	Mar 5, 2007 by jrtjosey
	moving along (Preview) One of my latest key insights is that the A crashes from fantasy about as much as he crashes from alcohol. Right now he has a huge fantasy about doing a geographic. I am trying to get out of his way as much as possible. I am tired of taking the heat and blame when his fantasy crashes. So he is either catatonic...	maresie2	2	344	Mar 5, 2007 by Rita G
	GLAD TO BE BACK AGAIN (Preview) (((((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))) Well, I have been missing from here for almost three weeks.... And I have missed you guys so much... I'm not in any better shape than when I left here. It's been five weeks since my relationship ended, and I'm still in a daze. I am still cryi...	ally	10	669	Mar 5, 2007 by ally
	an average weekend after a disastrous week (Preview) My AH and I, we have marriage counseling this week. I am dreading going, mainly because he's been brooding over my latest actions for the latter part of the week, and I know I am going to look like a complete a**hole in our session today. I finally got really fed up last week, this time over the woman w...	theprofessor	2	418	Mar 5, 2007 by carolinagirl
	release the anger! (Preview) I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. --William Blake We have a right to claim our own feelings. Sometimes we get angry, but hold it inside because we think it's wrong to feel it. If anger builds inside us, it expands like a b...	Tiger2006	4	501	Mar 5, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	Feelings (Preview) From childhood I grew up in a house where I was taught not show feelings (only happy ones). Anyway, when my mother passed away and I started to cry she said "Don't cry" and I just stuffed the feelings. I realized I never really grieved my mother's death, just went about business. ...	Alyce	4	446	Mar 5, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	Progressive disease reminder (Preview) I am feeling really down right now, today my ex-A who had been living with me for the last two months but left last sunday, progressed to a new level for him, drinking during the day in order to play darts properly. I know I should not be surprised or disappointed that drinking comes before his family and o...	maire rua	7	517	Mar 5, 2007 by babysteps
	When sobriety happens............... (Preview) I started thinking about this. I have waited eight years for my ah to change his way and to become sober...........and then once sober to not become a dry drunk.......well he's done both. So now he's sober (again) and I got to thinking, if this is for real......how will I ever know? Will I keep l...	Friendofyours	12	646	Mar 5, 2007 by Karilynn
	No longer reaching out (Preview) I have 1 sibling - a brother who has been in recovery a short time. I have recently learned to "let go", and am still working on it. For me, letting go means no longer having any expectations, and no longer reaching out. I have always been the one to initiate contact with him, except when he w...	virjennyan	2	386	Mar 5, 2007 by virjennyan
	intervention? (Preview) Has anyone had any experiences with interventions? I was told it may be helpful with my ex husband who is an alcoholic. I would like to hear some input on them because I know they don't always work. thanks.	lam0204	8	683	Mar 5, 2007 by virjennyan
	He finally "Re-Admitting" to being an "A" (Preview) I am pleased that my A has finally admitted, again, that he is in fact an A. I wish i could add that he is going to meetings, but hasn't since Sat. I am hopeful that he is on the right track though. We had an issue with Bryon the other day and I did an unexpected trip to Portland. He is ok now, but really sc...	smpoli	3	570	Mar 5, 2007 by mel123
	troublesome sister (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hoping you will tell me what you think of this situation. I'm not sure what to do. Three weeks ago I was visiting my sister and she sat me down saying she wanted to talk to me. I was uneasy. I hate being put under pressure. I knew what she was going to say. Years ago my younger sister (...	annmarie	6	504	Mar 5, 2007 by virjennyan
	Anguish (Preview) Hello... I'm new to all of this. I've never ever heard about Alanon until today, and I immedeatley rushed online to find something...anything... to help myself. I am so desperate, and so brutally alone. My boyfriend of four, (almost five!) years has been knocking back a bottle of vodka a d...	JMW	15	519	Mar 5, 2007 by virjennyan
	Still getting banned (Preview) I am still getting banned. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! There is no way to get the message to the op on duty because when I try to type a message in, it says "not on channel." It goes on & on about spam, abuse & my ISP Thumpernet being banned!!! I did try the website to figure it out, but I...	horselover58	4	501	Mar 5, 2007 by doxie
	Codependency (Preview) I was reading a bit about codepenency on http://www.recovery-man.com/coda/codependency.htm I'm was a bit confused by this term. Did it imply that if you live with what you believe to be an alcoholic and you display co-dependent traits that you may just be imagining or exaggerating the fact...	mama_nz	2	332	Mar 4, 2007 by BlueCloud
	just feeling sorry for myself.....again (Preview) Hey family. It seems like i've been doing a lot of feeling sorry for myself lately. i hate that. i hate being sad and depressed, and sometimes i hate my husband for making me feel this way. then i remember, that i'm letting him make me feel this way. and that makes me so angry at myself. why do i let him do this...	minnie	10	547	Mar 4, 2007 by minnie
	This is not my beautiful wife (Preview) OK this came up before, but last night was the first time I really spoke up about it. The A takes pain medication, quite a long history of it. The doctor switched to Methadone. The A doesn't take that so much. The A has been stockpiling the leftovers, has a significant ammount. Occaisionally talks...	RainyJamie	5	3205	Mar 4, 2007 by Jen
	feelin worn (Preview) I am just gonna ramble because my mind is foggy.....days,nights,events,arguments,conflicts, LACK OF UNDERSTANDING....life with my live in A bf has gotten to a really confusing place. He is sober, going to meetings and therapy and trying to handle his underlying problems as a sober adult for the f...	Fifi	4	301	Mar 4, 2007 by jrtjosey
	cryin and tired in am (Preview) I had a nice afternoon with my Asober bf....my family had been visiting and he was on his best behavior. But all morning wasmisery...me crying, him criticizing but saying he wasn't....saying my reaction to what he says is my responsibility and I always misjudge his words...sounds too much to me like...	Fifi	7	408	Mar 4, 2007 by Leetle
	March Business Meeting (Preview) Hi all - Just a reminder that our business meeting wll be Sun - March 4 at 9pm ET See you there - Dot	dot	1	343	Mar 4, 2007 by kerry5
	I said it MEAN!!!! (Preview) Yesterday I had sort of a relapse. Do you think it has anything to do with missing my weekly meetings for the last month or so? lol....of course it does! I had a confrontation with A son. He visits his children at my house when I have them. He is not allowed to drive them anywhere or be alone with him. my, now e...	Gailey	7	474	Mar 4, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Moving on without guilt (Preview) I have been separated from my ex (A) for a year now. I recently met someone who seems genuinely good, and I like him. Well okay we met online so I know I have to be wary. Decided to meet up with him today and I suggested we meet at the park down by where I live, it has a big lake where you can feed the ducks, lots...	mama_nz	2	422	Mar 4, 2007 by TryingToCope
	Moving on without guilt (Preview) Oops I don't know how I managed to post this twice, must have hit refresh button. Sorry. -- Edited by mama_nz at 21:33, 2007-03-03	mama_nz	0	272	Mar 3, 2007 by mama_nz
	Where did he go? (Preview) Hi all, I am new here, so let me introduce myself. I am a 30-year old woman, married to an off and on alcoholic for nearly 4 years. I say off and on due to his episodes; it's never a continuous thing. He can go for an entire year without drinking and then just pick up a bottle and end his sobriety. We do not h...	theprofessor	8	620	Mar 3, 2007 by abbyal
	detaching progress not perfection (Preview) These past two weeks I have had a hard time detaching from the A. As you know I am in the middle of yet another job search. I have a job, albeit very rudimentary and 2 days off in the week to look for work. As normal the A does no housework to speak of. He can't lift a cup, sweep a floor, pick up nothing. So...	maresie2	3	387	Mar 3, 2007 by evey
	I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!..........tonight (Preview) some nights I just can not see how I can stay with him for the rest of my life!!!!!!! Living like this. OK, I will say I don't get this miserable very often at all any more but when I am in physcal pain and after working my patootie off pick-axing, shoveling, pick -axing some more for 5 hours in the freezi...	puzzle	7	606	Mar 3, 2007 by bcanuck
	Developing Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C (Preview) Well, I survived a trip with my AHsober to see our son in the military. My AHsober was so careful to avoid any close contact with me. I just love the way he lectures our son - do what I say and not what I do. I told him that I see that we have 4 meetings - he presents his side, I present my side, we share together, an...	nmike	5	519	Mar 3, 2007 by kismetstrand
	What to do...... (Preview) I have been making myself sick over this one. My A has been drinking almost daily for months. It has been horrible around here......I am the only one working right now, full time, overnight stocking for Wal-mart. I don't have my own car right now, so I am using his to get to work and back. He does some...	jajanma	12	619	Mar 3, 2007 by Diva
	his humbling (Preview) My exA called me last night. I haven't spoken to him in weeks, even then it was short and curt. Anyway he was sober last night, says he's been sober for a few weeks now and is realising his mistakes, his losses. He says he's going to occasional meetings. He doesn't like meetings, but is t...	annmarie	4	354	Mar 3, 2007 by CJ
	Asking your body and mind...what actions or activities would make you feel better this week, month, year? (Preview) Sometimes just writing things down instead of just thinking them, gets us motivated to get on with life with things that are important for our health and minds. Those of us who live or have lived with active alcoholism become stagnant in life, and feel nothing is worth the effort Sometimes even gettin...	gardengal	5	461	Mar 3, 2007 by browneyes
	7 P's (Preview) This morning our topic was :let it Begin with me" and "Keep it Simple" Someone suggested I post something in my share the 7 P's Pain (sharing) Prayer (HP I choice to call God) Program (Alanon) Perspective (food for thought from others) Progress (where i was and where i am tod...	angel123	4	461	Mar 3, 2007 by aunitedway
	Responsibility (Preview) I realize when looking back that I took no responsibility for my life, my credit, my happiness, or anything related to me for that matter. I made and still continue to make choices passively, but I am learning. I am struggling with something lately. Both my spouses and my credit was ruined due to l...	Alyce	6	676	Mar 3, 2007 by Alyce
	Am I a contoller or enabler, both or neither? (Preview) Okay, a long time ago I learned what an enabler is and how I've been one in my marriage to my A. So I have learned how to keep out of the way of his drinking ( not ALL the time) and let him deal with it his own self. But I'm thinking that maybe enabling and controlling are related. A few time...	jaja	8	579	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	OK, a new attempt (Preview) I only post to complain about the A and sometimes when I don't have anything to complain about I remember something from way back and bring it up. This is not good, I know that. Probably stems from some sort of codependant something or another, and I want to refresh a little. I want to say that my AH has...	RainyJamie	8	527	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	it's all sooooo tiring (Preview) Ok my storey so far , hubby in aa but not working any programme, thinks putting the drink down is suffice, now replacing drinking with working 24/7 and woe betide anyone that questions his motives, how dare we, so he's decided to work himself to a frazzle, so now we have a highly stressed human bein...	Katy	5	604	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	The a's secret plans hit and run and escape responsibility. (Preview) One of the A's favorite retorts is that he is going to up and leave. I never really took it seriously. Turns out in some of his little excursions that last 3 days or so like when he runs out and leaves and doesn't come back for days he has been going to see family who live like 2 hours away from here. ...	maresie2	6	531	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Living Life for me (Preview) hey family i haven't posted in a while. im up the walls busy with work and play ..lol.. im very proud of myself.... i just realised that in the last number of weeks. there was a time when all i cud think about was my "A" and HIS life... HIS choices... and MY pain... they HE caused.. or that I...	Rebecca	5	519	Mar 3, 2007 by ally
	The birthday party (Preview) Twenty years ago I met my very good friend. The first time she and her husband came to my house for dinner, they raided my liquor cabinet and got drunk. The second time they came to my house, they brought their own alcohol and got drunk. The third time they came to my house I set my boundaries. I told the...	ditto	3	358	Mar 2, 2007 by JMW
	Anyone going to the NJ Assembly meeting Sat? (Preview) I'm hoping to make it. Still up in the air but hoping to. Drop me a line. Would be great to put a face w/ the name or say hi to those I've met ! Bob	bobump	1	361	Mar 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	Ladies and Gentleman, for my final act, my disappering mind... (Preview) I do believe I've lost it for good now. I mean, for good for good. See the puff of smoke? That was my sanity. Wave bye bye! Some of you know, or remember, or something like that, that I petitioned the university based on a psych eval that it turned up I had ADD (Is anyone surprised at my lack of attentio...	Tiger2006	10	501	Mar 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	Cloud and the baby (Preview) For those of you who remember Cloud, she's due to have the baby anyday now. Having some "typical" pre-birth symptoms. Looking for some prayers. I'll keep you posted when she delivers. Maria	Maria123	5	434	Mar 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	Steps - How do I know? (Preview) I am on my first step now, how do I know if I can moove on to step 2?	IceLady	6	457	Mar 2, 2007 by Maria123
	"So waddya gonna do about it?" (Preview) "So waddya gonna do about it?" That was the quote that stood out to me from my post yesterday. No matter how many positive things were said, I zoom in on the one negative thing. Like any "good little ACA," I take on the attitude of Bob the Builder, "Can I fix it? Yes I can!&quo...	Tiger2006	8	1006	Mar 2, 2007 by Maria123
	Service Here in Mip (Preview) Thought i would share here also my service experience in alanon face to face and here at Mip. When i entered alanon in person in 1999, I jumped into service right away after a few weeks. I started with getting there early setting up the tables and making coffee, then greeted the newcomers, then i eventua...	kerry5	4	530	Mar 2, 2007 by tiredtonite
	prayers please (Preview) It's been a long time since I've been here, and things still aren't any better with my brother. Still lots of ups and downs. But now my husband has left me and I am hurting so bad. He said he needs some time to think and be alone. Please pray for us to recover from this and to be together again. I d...	Jayda	8	394	Mar 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	need to get husband out, advice please! (Preview) My husband is my alcoholic. He is very sick. He is sober for a few weeks sometimes, then he starts drinking again ( about 120 ounces in 3 days) & then he is violently ill, vomiting, ketoacidosis( diabetic) and heart problems. I get him into the hospital and he is usually good for a couple of weeks...	carol	13	614	Mar 2, 2007 by smpoli
	Why wont the hope go away? (Preview) Ok so my mil tells me yesterday AH has a new job and needs this and that and I tell her he can kiss my @$$ . But she sends me these emails that he's been sending her and he sounds so not him, resigned I guess would be the right word. Still talking about how much he loves me etc. The new job is $20 an hr (dam...	carolinagirl	7	586	Mar 1, 2007 by maresie2
	Living my life for me (Preview) (((MIP Group))) Living my life for me has not been easy. In the last couple of weeks I've given some real thought about my life, the present circumstances, and what I want my future to look like. I know what I don't want. I don't want to be managing another person's emotions when I&#...	twinmom2	6	611	Mar 1, 2007 by maresie2
	question (Preview) Here's a hypothetical scenario: A husband and wife are at a dinner/drinking party at a bar with a room full of friends. The husband and wife are both drunk. The husband ends up slow dancing and making out with another woman (who knows the man is married, knows the wife, has also been drinking) in fr...	Lanchas	4	343	Mar 1, 2007 by Lanchas
	Carrying the alcoholics load???? (Preview) I had to share this story with you because I found it inspiriering (sp) Please take the time to read this : According to an old legend, two monks named Tanzan and Ekido were traveling together down a muddly road one day. Heavy monsoon rains had saturated the area, and they were gratful for a few moments of...	Friendofyours	2	389	Mar 1, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Boundaries and marriage.....help, sinking.... (Preview) I have been working steps and living the principles of the program for many yrs to the best of my ability. I chose to stay with my active husband and had carved out a life for myself where I could be happy no matter what he was doing. I finished a degree, raised two kids, got several promotions, was involved...	fineline	10	540	Mar 1, 2007 by carolinagirl
	aquarium (Preview) As I start a new project setting up an aquarium…My thoughts started to “THINK,” how my life and program has a way to relate to Alanon. Always apply the program in my goals and achievements. I have a 30 gal tank…I had more than 30 gallons to take to Alanon tables when I first entered. Placing the 25 lbs of roc...	angel123	1	310	Mar 1, 2007 by Alyce
	great message (Preview) I got this off of the AA board and thought I'd share it: God, Grant me the Serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. Many folks do not understand the meanings of the Serenity Prayer, and of consequence are left in a limbo of con...	Lanchas	1	417	Mar 1, 2007 by irish54
	Checking in . update (Preview) Hello ((All)) I'm starting to see a little bit again. At least today I know I am on the right website I saw the doctor yesterday and my vision was 20/200 not a good number but a vast improvement over last week. It is extremely frustrating that the cause of these episodes has not been found yet...	Jennifer	3	445	Mar 1, 2007 by Jennifer
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.