Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Fifi · Fifi

I had a nice afternoon with my Asober bf....my family had been visiting and he was on his best behavior. But all morning wasmisery...me crying, him criticizing but saying he wasn't....saying my reaction to what he says is my responsibility and I always misjudge his words...sounds too much to me like...

dot · dot

Hi all - Just a reminder that our business meeting wll be Sun - March 4 at 9pm ET See you there - Dot

Gailey · Gailey

Yesterday I had sort of a relapse. Do you think it has anything to do with missing my weekly meetings for the last month or so? lol....of course it does! I had a confrontation with A son. He visits his children at my house when I have them. He is not allowed to drive them anywhere or be alone with him. my, now e...

mama_nz · mama_nz

I have been separated from my ex (A) for a year now. I recently met someone who seems genuinely good, and I like him. Well okay we met online so I know I have to be wary. Decided to meet up with him today and I suggested we meet at the park down by where I live, it has a big lake where you can feed the ducks, lots...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Oops I don't know how I managed to post this twice, must have hit refresh button. Sorry. -- Edited by mama_nz at 21:33, 2007-03-03

theprofessor · theprofessor

Hi all, I am new here, so let me introduce myself. I am a 30-year old woman, married to an off and on alcoholic for nearly 4 years. I say off and on due to his episodes; it's never a continuous thing. He can go for an entire year without drinking and then just pick up a bottle and end his sobriety. We do not h...

maresie2 · maresie2

These past two weeks I have had a hard time detaching from the A. As you know I am in the middle of yet another job search. I have a job, albeit very rudimentary and 2 days off in the week to look for work. As normal the A does no housework to speak of. He can't lift a cup, sweep a floor, pick up nothing. So...

puzzle · puzzle

some nights I just can not see how I can stay with him for the rest of my life!!!!!!! Living like this. OK, I will say I don't get this miserable very often at all any more but when I am in physcal pain and after working my patootie off pick-axing, shoveling, pick -axing some more for 5 hours in the freezi...

nmike · nmike

Well, I survived a trip with my AHsober to see our son in the military. My AHsober was so careful to avoid any close contact with me. I just love the way he lectures our son - do what I say and not what I do. I told him that I see that we have 4 meetings - he presents his side, I present my side, we share together, an...

jajanma · jajanma

I have been making myself sick over this one. My A has been drinking almost daily for months. It has been horrible around here......I am the only one working right now, full time, overnight stocking for Wal-mart. I don't have my own car right now, so I am using his to get to work and back. He does some...

annmarie · annmarie

My exA called me last night. I haven't spoken to him in weeks, even then it was short and curt. Anyway he was sober last night, says he's been sober for a few weeks now and is realising his mistakes, his losses. He says he's going to occasional meetings. He doesn't like meetings, but is t...

gardengal · gardengal

Sometimes just writing things down instead of just thinking them, gets us motivated to get on with life with things that are important for our health and minds. Those of us who live or have lived with active alcoholism become stagnant in life, and feel nothing is worth the effort Sometimes even gettin...

angel123 · angel123

This morning our topic was :let it Begin with me" and "Keep it Simple" Someone suggested I post something in my share the 7 P's Pain (sharing) Prayer (HP I choice to call God) Program (Alanon) Perspective (food for thought from others) Progress (where i was and where i am tod...

Alyce · Alyce

I realize when looking back that I took no responsibility for my life, my credit, my happiness, or anything related to me for that matter. I made and still continue to make choices passively, but I am learning. I am struggling with something lately. Both my spouses and my credit was ruined due to l...

jaja · jaja

Okay, a long time ago I learned what an enabler is and how I've been one in my marriage to my A. So I have learned how to keep out of the way of his drinking ( not ALL the time) and let him deal with it his own self. But I'm thinking that maybe enabling and controlling are related. A few time...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I only post to complain about the A and sometimes when I don't have anything to complain about I remember something from way back and bring it up. This is not good, I know that. Probably stems from some sort of codependant something or another, and I want to refresh a little. I want to say that my AH has...

Katy · Katy

Ok my storey so far , hubby in aa but not working any programme, thinks putting the drink down is suffice, now replacing drinking with working 24/7 and woe betide anyone that questions his motives, how dare we, so he's decided to work himself to a frazzle, so now we have a highly stressed human bein...

maresie2 · maresie2

One of the A's favorite retorts is that he is going to up and leave. I never really took it seriously. Turns out in some of his little excursions that last 3 days or so like when he runs out and leaves and doesn't come back for days he has been going to see family who live like 2 hours away from here. ...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hey family i haven't posted in a while. im up the walls busy with work and play ..lol.. im very proud of myself.... i just realised that in the last number of weeks. there was a time when all i cud think about was my "A" and HIS life... HIS choices... and MY pain... they HE caused.. or that I...

ditto · ditto

Twenty years ago I met my very good friend. The first time she and her husband came to my house for dinner, they raided my liquor cabinet and got drunk. The second time they came to my house, they brought their own alcohol and got drunk. The third time they came to my house I set my boundaries. I told the...

bobump · bobump

I'm hoping to make it. Still up in the air but hoping to. Drop me a line. Would be great to put a face w/ the name or say hi to those I've met ! Bob

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I do believe I've lost it for good now. I mean, for good for good. See the puff of smoke? That was my sanity. Wave bye bye! Some of you know, or remember, or something like that, that I petitioned the university based on a psych eval that it turned up I had ADD (Is anyone surprised at my lack of attentio...

Maria123 · Maria123

For those of you who remember Cloud, she's due to have the baby anyday now. Having some "typical" pre-birth symptoms. Looking for some prayers. I'll keep you posted when she delivers. Maria

IceLady · IceLady

I am on my first step now, how do I know if I can moove on to step 2?

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"So waddya gonna do about it?" That was the quote that stood out to me from my post yesterday. No matter how many positive things were said, I zoom in on the one negative thing. Like any "good little ACA," I take on the attitude of Bob the Builder, "Can I fix it? Yes I can!&quo...

kerry5 · kerry5

Thought i would share here also my service experience in alanon face to face and here at Mip. When i entered alanon in person in 1999, I jumped into service right away after a few weeks. I started with getting there early setting up the tables and making coffee, then greeted the newcomers, then i eventua...

Jayda · Jayda

It's been a long time since I've been here, and things still aren't any better with my brother. Still lots of ups and downs. But now my husband has left me and I am hurting so bad. He said he needs some time to think and be alone. Please pray for us to recover from this and to be together again. I d...

carol · carol

My husband is my alcoholic. He is very sick. He is sober for a few weeks sometimes, then he starts drinking again ( about 120 ounces in 3 days) & then he is violently ill, vomiting, ketoacidosis( diabetic) and heart problems. I get him into the hospital and he is usually good for a couple of weeks...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so my mil tells me yesterday AH has a new job and needs this and that and I tell her he can kiss my @$$ . But she sends me these emails that he's been sending her and he sounds so not him, resigned I guess would be the right word. Still talking about how much he loves me etc. The new job is $20 an hr (dam...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Group))) Living my life for me has not been easy. In the last couple of weeks I've given some real thought about my life, the present circumstances, and what I want my future to look like. I know what I don't want. I don't want to be managing another person's emotions when I&#...

Lanchas · Lanchas

Here's a hypothetical scenario: A husband and wife are at a dinner/drinking party at a bar with a room full of friends. The husband and wife are both drunk. The husband ends up slow dancing and making out with another woman (who knows the man is married, knows the wife, has also been drinking) in fr...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I had to share this story with you because I found it inspiriering (sp) Please take the time to read this : According to an old legend, two monks named Tanzan and Ekido were traveling together down a muddly road one day. Heavy monsoon rains had saturated the area, and they were gratful for a few moments of...

fineline · fineline

I have been working steps and living the principles of the program for many yrs to the best of my ability. I chose to stay with my active husband and had carved out a life for myself where I could be happy no matter what he was doing. I finished a degree, raised two kids, got several promotions, was involved...

angel123 · angel123

As I start a new project setting up an aquarium…My thoughts started to “THINK,” how my life and program has a way to relate to Alanon. Always apply the program in my goals and achievements. I have a 30 gal tank…I had more than 30 gallons to take to Alanon tables when I first entered. Placing the 25 lbs of roc...

Lanchas · Lanchas

I got this off of the AA board and thought I'd share it: God, Grant me the Serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. Many folks do not understand the meanings of the Serenity Prayer, and of consequence are left in a limbo of con...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((All)) I'm starting to see a little bit again. At least today I know I am on the right website

I saw the doctor yesterday and my vision was 20/200 not a good number but a vast improvement over last week. It is extremely frustrating that the cause of these episodes has not been found yet...

Alyce · Alyce

I am so glad to have found this site. I moved out of state a few months ago to a more affordable place, thinking it would be a better and easier life for my husband, myself and kids. My kids are 16 and 20 (not really kids). Anyway, they are miserable here and are blaming us for ruining their lives. They w...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, For years I have strived to be independant, to certainly never to be dependant on a man. I learned this in my early childhood, having come from an Afamily, my father being the A. This was/ is my coping mechanism. I now see that I have deprived myself of so much through living this way. I am be...

Moon · Moon

I just want to say that I have no idea why I'm posting this right now, it will only tarnish my reputation, but here goes. None of you really know my story, but I can give you bits and pieces of it as I see it. I am an alcoholic and yes I have 8 years sober. That being said my husband will drink every so often...

Maria123 · Maria123

For those of you who remember Cloud, she's due to have the baby anyday now. Having some "typical" pre-birth symptoms. Looking for some prayers. I'll keep you posted when she delivers. Maria

hersh · hersh

(((Hello all from cold Colorado))) Haven't posted in a while, but was wondering if anyone could offer their opinion and/or knowledge on taking drugs for pain management. TO give you some background: My mother has been a heavy partier throughout her life, beginning probably when us kids were ea...

barisax · barisax

I want to apologize to the group for starting the "teenager" thread. It's really off topic and violates Alanon guidelines by getting into outside philosophy, and I didn't intend to create controversy with it. Yesterday I was going to delete all of my posts to the thread, but ap...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Hi, I made a post on the AA board, if anyone interested in NIA Spring Conference, AA, Alanon, Alateen in Moline, IL (near Moline airport) Email www.niafg.org for Alanon/alateen contacts. For some reason, the registration form is not available online as mentioned. or email TerryIL61301@yah...

Kasey · Kasey

I've spent many hours searching on the internet about alcoholics, and what is an alcoholic, and what I can do to help an alcoholoc. My husband, I think is one, and I've been having a pretty rough time lately. I decided that maybe I needed to think about myself for once, and that's when I fo...

irish54 · irish54

Dear Friends, As you know, my beloved grandaughter I have raised since a baby left home Dec. 10th. She was not "nice" about it and it broke my heart. But, I still continued to leave the door open to keep communication open. I also have the 14 yr old grandaughter here too. The oldest turned 1...

Klynn · Klynn

Hey guys!! I have not been around in a while!! Things WERE going pretty well there for awhile!! Of course NOW....OMG!! I dont know what to do where to go who to turn to....I guess I need opinions!! See my Hubby lost his job after coming clean about his drug use and had a HORRIBLE time finding a new job.....

still searching · still searching

Hi everyone, Just looking for input here. What would you do if you knew you alcoholic husband was drinking on the job? If he is job involved other peoples lives?? Would you go to the supervisor and thell them or would you just let it go because eventually they will find out. I am very confused over this...

debo · debo

I am at wits end. My husband has stopped and started drinking so many times that I have lost count. It got so bad a few weeks ago that I threw him out. As he had no money, no where to go, he was on my doorstep 2 days later begging for a place to stay. So the promises start. He starts to detox once again, says h...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I have enough of the program in me that I should be able to figure this out for myself but for some reason I just can't seem to. I came to Al-Anon to learn how to deal with my A/DA son and have done quite well or thought I had at learning when to let go, when to help, when to run for my life. My son is doing ok as...

IceLady · IceLady

In two hours I am going to my first real f2f al-anon meeting. I dread it so much, my stomach is in a twist and heart pounding. I am trying to stay leveled and calm. Because if let myself get into a spin I will end up feeling so overwhelmed that I will not go. But I really want to go. Specially because I have been...

kissers · kissers

I love alcoholics and ACOAs. Subconsciously I would pick someone who was emotionally unavailable and who had a fear of intimacy & abandonment, so when the relationship ended I could blame it on them. I was also afraid of the same thing. The alcoholic looked like the bad guy, but I was just as bad. He...

renah · renah

Dear all, Are there people out there that can really spend the evening with an AH who is not violent but just wants to talk to you all night. I do not feel at peace anymore. It used to not bother me and now either because I am working less program or because I am pregnant (3 months), I just can't be...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Update... I have been on a mission to get laid as of late and finally accomplished that mission last weekend. I had it so worked up in my head how wonderful it was going to be and now I find myself missing my husband. I thought I knew what I wanted, no relationship, just have fun, etc. But now I realize tha...

kicky · kicky

Just a little observation for those out there praying for their active A's to get help toward sobriety: I lived with an active A for 7 years....I went through hell and back. Recently, I started dating an old friend who, after our first date,I found out happens to be in AA and has about 2 years sobriet...

lilms · lilms

Today was the funeral for my friend. It has been a difficult day. I came home this evening to find the A here. Staying here. I was not a part of that decision. Apparantly it is for 3 or 4 days. I am too tired this evening to worry about going elsewhere. Will worry about that in the morning. Wanted to th...

barisax · barisax

When I look back at my own teen years, I have to admit it could have been worse... I didn't get into drugs and alcohol like so many of my peers did. That came later for me - but if I had discovered it as a teen, things could have been very bad. I was a loner then. I wasn't popular, but I didn't fit...

david62 · david62

Hello ((((Family)))) I got home late last nite from a little trip out to New Mexico to go skiing. This was my first time to try to ski and I left with no small amount of nervousness about the whole idea, but also very excited to try yet something else new. Something I have let fear keep me from trying in the pa...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

OK this may sound dumb but it has been bugging me. We have this cute little dog. It is my first dog. I read alot about the dogs and started teaching her tricks; sit, down, roll over, beg, shake, pray (she puts her little nose between he paws), dance (she hops on her hind legs in a circle), fetch, speak, how t...

IceLady · IceLady

Hi ppl. What does esh and other short words u guys use here mean anyways? Sorry I am from Iceland and english is not my native language.

Anne123 · Anne123

I'm 46 my AH is 51. We've been married 25years.Looking back on it now I realize he was an A when we met. He was one of those "friendly" drunks, you know, never got angry or abusive when he was drinking. 10 years ago he became dissabled due to an accident at work,--- so enter the drugs. P...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	cryin and tired in am (Preview) I had a nice afternoon with my Asober bf....my family had been visiting and he was on his best behavior. But all morning wasmisery...me crying, him criticizing but saying he wasn't....saying my reaction to what he says is my responsibility and I always misjudge his words...sounds too much to me like...	Fifi	7	403	Mar 4, 2007 by Leetle
	March Business Meeting (Preview) Hi all - Just a reminder that our business meeting wll be Sun - March 4 at 9pm ET See you there - Dot	dot	1	327	Mar 4, 2007 by kerry5
	I said it MEAN!!!! (Preview) Yesterday I had sort of a relapse. Do you think it has anything to do with missing my weekly meetings for the last month or so? lol....of course it does! I had a confrontation with A son. He visits his children at my house when I have them. He is not allowed to drive them anywhere or be alone with him. my, now e...	Gailey	7	464	Mar 4, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Moving on without guilt (Preview) I have been separated from my ex (A) for a year now. I recently met someone who seems genuinely good, and I like him. Well okay we met online so I know I have to be wary. Decided to meet up with him today and I suggested we meet at the park down by where I live, it has a big lake where you can feed the ducks, lots...	mama_nz	2	414	Mar 4, 2007 by TryingToCope
	Moving on without guilt (Preview) Oops I don't know how I managed to post this twice, must have hit refresh button. Sorry. -- Edited by mama_nz at 21:33, 2007-03-03	mama_nz	0	264	Mar 3, 2007 by mama_nz
	Where did he go? (Preview) Hi all, I am new here, so let me introduce myself. I am a 30-year old woman, married to an off and on alcoholic for nearly 4 years. I say off and on due to his episodes; it's never a continuous thing. He can go for an entire year without drinking and then just pick up a bottle and end his sobriety. We do not h...	theprofessor	8	609	Mar 3, 2007 by abbyal
	detaching progress not perfection (Preview) These past two weeks I have had a hard time detaching from the A. As you know I am in the middle of yet another job search. I have a job, albeit very rudimentary and 2 days off in the week to look for work. As normal the A does no housework to speak of. He can't lift a cup, sweep a floor, pick up nothing. So...	maresie2	3	377	Mar 3, 2007 by evey
	I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!..........tonight (Preview) some nights I just can not see how I can stay with him for the rest of my life!!!!!!! Living like this. OK, I will say I don't get this miserable very often at all any more but when I am in physcal pain and after working my patootie off pick-axing, shoveling, pick -axing some more for 5 hours in the freezi...	puzzle	7	596	Mar 3, 2007 by bcanuck
	Developing Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C (Preview) Well, I survived a trip with my AHsober to see our son in the military. My AHsober was so careful to avoid any close contact with me. I just love the way he lectures our son - do what I say and not what I do. I told him that I see that we have 4 meetings - he presents his side, I present my side, we share together, an...	nmike	5	511	Mar 3, 2007 by kismetstrand
	What to do...... (Preview) I have been making myself sick over this one. My A has been drinking almost daily for months. It has been horrible around here......I am the only one working right now, full time, overnight stocking for Wal-mart. I don't have my own car right now, so I am using his to get to work and back. He does some...	jajanma	12	610	Mar 3, 2007 by Diva
	his humbling (Preview) My exA called me last night. I haven't spoken to him in weeks, even then it was short and curt. Anyway he was sober last night, says he's been sober for a few weeks now and is realising his mistakes, his losses. He says he's going to occasional meetings. He doesn't like meetings, but is t...	annmarie	4	349	Mar 3, 2007 by CJ
	Asking your body and mind...what actions or activities would make you feel better this week, month, year? (Preview) Sometimes just writing things down instead of just thinking them, gets us motivated to get on with life with things that are important for our health and minds. Those of us who live or have lived with active alcoholism become stagnant in life, and feel nothing is worth the effort Sometimes even gettin...	gardengal	5	453	Mar 3, 2007 by browneyes
	7 P's (Preview) This morning our topic was :let it Begin with me" and "Keep it Simple" Someone suggested I post something in my share the 7 P's Pain (sharing) Prayer (HP I choice to call God) Program (Alanon) Perspective (food for thought from others) Progress (where i was and where i am tod...	angel123	4	454	Mar 3, 2007 by aunitedway
	Responsibility (Preview) I realize when looking back that I took no responsibility for my life, my credit, my happiness, or anything related to me for that matter. I made and still continue to make choices passively, but I am learning. I am struggling with something lately. Both my spouses and my credit was ruined due to l...	Alyce	6	666	Mar 3, 2007 by Alyce
	Am I a contoller or enabler, both or neither? (Preview) Okay, a long time ago I learned what an enabler is and how I've been one in my marriage to my A. So I have learned how to keep out of the way of his drinking ( not ALL the time) and let him deal with it his own self. But I'm thinking that maybe enabling and controlling are related. A few time...	jaja	8	564	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	OK, a new attempt (Preview) I only post to complain about the A and sometimes when I don't have anything to complain about I remember something from way back and bring it up. This is not good, I know that. Probably stems from some sort of codependant something or another, and I want to refresh a little. I want to say that my AH has...	RainyJamie	8	519	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	it's all sooooo tiring (Preview) Ok my storey so far , hubby in aa but not working any programme, thinks putting the drink down is suffice, now replacing drinking with working 24/7 and woe betide anyone that questions his motives, how dare we, so he's decided to work himself to a frazzle, so now we have a highly stressed human bein...	Katy	5	596	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	The a's secret plans hit and run and escape responsibility. (Preview) One of the A's favorite retorts is that he is going to up and leave. I never really took it seriously. Turns out in some of his little excursions that last 3 days or so like when he runs out and leaves and doesn't come back for days he has been going to see family who live like 2 hours away from here. ...	maresie2	6	527	Mar 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Living Life for me (Preview) hey family i haven't posted in a while. im up the walls busy with work and play ..lol.. im very proud of myself.... i just realised that in the last number of weeks. there was a time when all i cud think about was my "A" and HIS life... HIS choices... and MY pain... they HE caused.. or that I...	Rebecca	5	507	Mar 3, 2007 by ally
	The birthday party (Preview) Twenty years ago I met my very good friend. The first time she and her husband came to my house for dinner, they raided my liquor cabinet and got drunk. The second time they came to my house, they brought their own alcohol and got drunk. The third time they came to my house I set my boundaries. I told the...	ditto	3	350	Mar 2, 2007 by JMW
	Anyone going to the NJ Assembly meeting Sat? (Preview) I'm hoping to make it. Still up in the air but hoping to. Drop me a line. Would be great to put a face w/ the name or say hi to those I've met ! Bob	bobump	1	353	Mar 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	Ladies and Gentleman, for my final act, my disappering mind... (Preview) I do believe I've lost it for good now. I mean, for good for good. See the puff of smoke? That was my sanity. Wave bye bye! Some of you know, or remember, or something like that, that I petitioned the university based on a psych eval that it turned up I had ADD (Is anyone surprised at my lack of attentio...	Tiger2006	10	488	Mar 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	Cloud and the baby (Preview) For those of you who remember Cloud, she's due to have the baby anyday now. Having some "typical" pre-birth symptoms. Looking for some prayers. I'll keep you posted when she delivers. Maria	Maria123	5	420	Mar 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	Steps - How do I know? (Preview) I am on my first step now, how do I know if I can moove on to step 2?	IceLady	6	446	Mar 2, 2007 by Maria123
	"So waddya gonna do about it?" (Preview) "So waddya gonna do about it?" That was the quote that stood out to me from my post yesterday. No matter how many positive things were said, I zoom in on the one negative thing. Like any "good little ACA," I take on the attitude of Bob the Builder, "Can I fix it? Yes I can!&quo...	Tiger2006	8	979	Mar 2, 2007 by Maria123
	Service Here in Mip (Preview) Thought i would share here also my service experience in alanon face to face and here at Mip. When i entered alanon in person in 1999, I jumped into service right away after a few weeks. I started with getting there early setting up the tables and making coffee, then greeted the newcomers, then i eventua...	kerry5	4	523	Mar 2, 2007 by tiredtonite
	prayers please (Preview) It's been a long time since I've been here, and things still aren't any better with my brother. Still lots of ups and downs. But now my husband has left me and I am hurting so bad. He said he needs some time to think and be alone. Please pray for us to recover from this and to be together again. I d...	Jayda	8	387	Mar 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	need to get husband out, advice please! (Preview) My husband is my alcoholic. He is very sick. He is sober for a few weeks sometimes, then he starts drinking again ( about 120 ounces in 3 days) & then he is violently ill, vomiting, ketoacidosis( diabetic) and heart problems. I get him into the hospital and he is usually good for a couple of weeks...	carol	13	604	Mar 2, 2007 by smpoli
	Why wont the hope go away? (Preview) Ok so my mil tells me yesterday AH has a new job and needs this and that and I tell her he can kiss my @$$ . But she sends me these emails that he's been sending her and he sounds so not him, resigned I guess would be the right word. Still talking about how much he loves me etc. The new job is $20 an hr (dam...	carolinagirl	7	575	Mar 1, 2007 by maresie2
	Living my life for me (Preview) (((MIP Group))) Living my life for me has not been easy. In the last couple of weeks I've given some real thought about my life, the present circumstances, and what I want my future to look like. I know what I don't want. I don't want to be managing another person's emotions when I&#...	twinmom2	6	602	Mar 1, 2007 by maresie2
	question (Preview) Here's a hypothetical scenario: A husband and wife are at a dinner/drinking party at a bar with a room full of friends. The husband and wife are both drunk. The husband ends up slow dancing and making out with another woman (who knows the man is married, knows the wife, has also been drinking) in fr...	Lanchas	4	328	Mar 1, 2007 by Lanchas
	Carrying the alcoholics load???? (Preview) I had to share this story with you because I found it inspiriering (sp) Please take the time to read this : According to an old legend, two monks named Tanzan and Ekido were traveling together down a muddly road one day. Heavy monsoon rains had saturated the area, and they were gratful for a few moments of...	Friendofyours	2	378	Mar 1, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Boundaries and marriage.....help, sinking.... (Preview) I have been working steps and living the principles of the program for many yrs to the best of my ability. I chose to stay with my active husband and had carved out a life for myself where I could be happy no matter what he was doing. I finished a degree, raised two kids, got several promotions, was involved...	fineline	10	529	Mar 1, 2007 by carolinagirl
	aquarium (Preview) As I start a new project setting up an aquarium…My thoughts started to “THINK,” how my life and program has a way to relate to Alanon. Always apply the program in my goals and achievements. I have a 30 gal tank…I had more than 30 gallons to take to Alanon tables when I first entered. Placing the 25 lbs of roc...	angel123	1	301	Mar 1, 2007 by Alyce
	great message (Preview) I got this off of the AA board and thought I'd share it: God, Grant me the Serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. Many folks do not understand the meanings of the Serenity Prayer, and of consequence are left in a limbo of con...	Lanchas	1	405	Mar 1, 2007 by irish54
	Checking in . update (Preview) Hello ((All)) I'm starting to see a little bit again. At least today I know I am on the right website I saw the doctor yesterday and my vision was 20/200 not a good number but a vast improvement over last week. It is extremely frustrating that the cause of these episodes has not been found yet...	Jennifer	3	438	Mar 1, 2007 by Jennifer
	Confused (Preview) I am so glad to have found this site. I moved out of state a few months ago to a more affordable place, thinking it would be a better and easier life for my husband, myself and kids. My kids are 16 and 20 (not really kids). Anyway, they are miserable here and are blaming us for ruining their lives. They w...	Alyce	4	297	Mar 1, 2007 by Alyce
	how can I handle criticism better? (Preview) Hi everyone, For years I have strived to be independant, to certainly never to be dependant on a man. I learned this in my early childhood, having come from an Afamily, my father being the A. This was/ is my coping mechanism. I now see that I have deprived myself of so much through living this way. I am be...	annmarie	7	1640	Feb 28, 2007 by AndiLynn
	enabling a sober alcoholic (Preview) I just want to say that I have no idea why I'm posting this right now, it will only tarnish my reputation, but here goes. None of you really know my story, but I can give you bits and pieces of it as I see it. I am an alcoholic and yes I have 8 years sober. That being said my husband will drink every so often...	Moon	10	585	Feb 28, 2007 by abbyal
	Cloud and the baby (Preview) For those of you who remember Cloud, she's due to have the baby anyday now. Having some "typical" pre-birth symptoms. Looking for some prayers. I'll keep you posted when she delivers. Maria	Maria123	1	316	Feb 28, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Suggestions on drugs for "pain management"?? (Preview) (((Hello all from cold Colorado))) Haven't posted in a while, but was wondering if anyone could offer their opinion and/or knowledge on taking drugs for pain management. TO give you some background: My mother has been a heavy partier throughout her life, beginning probably when us kids were ea...	hersh	9	646	Feb 28, 2007 by Christy
	Apology (Preview) I want to apologize to the group for starting the "teenager" thread. It's really off topic and violates Alanon guidelines by getting into outside philosophy, and I didn't intend to create controversy with it. Yesterday I was going to delete all of my posts to the thread, but ap...	barisax	7	427	Feb 28, 2007 by kerry5
	N. Illinois Spring Conference March 30- April 1 (Preview) Hi, I made a post on the AA board, if anyone interested in NIA Spring Conference, AA, Alanon, Alateen in Moline, IL (near Moline airport) Email www.niafg.org for Alanon/alateen contacts. For some reason, the registration form is not available online as mentioned. or email TerryIL61301@yah...	wallsal55	0	265	Feb 28, 2007 by wallsal55
	New to this, and could use some support (Preview) I've spent many hours searching on the internet about alcoholics, and what is an alcoholic, and what I can do to help an alcoholoc. My husband, I think is one, and I've been having a pretty rough time lately. I decided that maybe I needed to think about myself for once, and that's when I fo...	Kasey	10	389	Feb 28, 2007 by Rita G
	I AM Powerless!!!!! (Preview) Dear Friends, As you know, my beloved grandaughter I have raised since a baby left home Dec. 10th. She was not "nice" about it and it broke my heart. But, I still continued to leave the door open to keep communication open. I also have the 14 yr old grandaughter here too. The oldest turned 1...	irish54	4	472	Feb 28, 2007 by Rita G
	Have not been around in a while (Preview) Hey guys!! I have not been around in a while!! Things WERE going pretty well there for awhile!! Of course NOW....OMG!! I dont know what to do where to go who to turn to....I guess I need opinions!! See my Hubby lost his job after coming clean about his drug use and had a HORRIBLE time finding a new job.....	Klynn	4	472	Feb 28, 2007 by Rita G
	what would you do?? (Preview) Hi everyone, Just looking for input here. What would you do if you knew you alcoholic husband was drinking on the job? If he is job involved other peoples lives?? Would you go to the supervisor and thell them or would you just let it go because eventually they will find out. I am very confused over this...	still searching	12	530	Feb 28, 2007 by Rita G
	HOW DOES ANYONE GET THRU THIS? (Preview) I am at wits end. My husband has stopped and started drinking so many times that I have lost count. It got so bad a few weeks ago that I threw him out. As he had no money, no where to go, he was on my doorstep 2 days later begging for a place to stay. So the promises start. He starts to detox once again, says h...	debo	15	624	Feb 28, 2007 by Friendofyours
	ESH needed (Preview) I have enough of the program in me that I should be able to figure this out for myself but for some reason I just can't seem to. I came to Al-Anon to learn how to deal with my A/DA son and have done quite well or thought I had at learning when to let go, when to help, when to run for my life. My son is doing ok as...	Mobirdie	4	415	Feb 28, 2007 by Karilynn
	Going to my first f2f al anon meeting (Preview) In two hours I am going to my first real f2f al-anon meeting. I dread it so much, my stomach is in a twist and heart pounding. I am trying to stay leveled and calm. Because if let myself get into a spin I will end up feeling so overwhelmed that I will not go. But I really want to go. Specially because I have been...	IceLady	7	943	Feb 28, 2007 by carol
	Major Breakthrough (Preview) I love alcoholics and ACOAs. Subconsciously I would pick someone who was emotionally unavailable and who had a fear of intimacy & abandonment, so when the relationship ended I could blame it on them. I was also afraid of the same thing. The alcoholic looked like the bad guy, but I was just as bad. He...	kissers	3	310	Feb 28, 2007 by nmike
	hit a new low (Preview) Dear all, Are there people out there that can really spend the evening with an AH who is not violent but just wants to talk to you all night. I do not feel at peace anymore. It used to not bother me and now either because I am working less program or because I am pregnant (3 months), I just can't be...	renah	6	479	Feb 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	got what i wanted now wondering what i really want??? (Preview) Update... I have been on a mission to get laid as of late and finally accomplished that mission last weekend. I had it so worked up in my head how wonderful it was going to be and now I find myself missing my husband. I thought I knew what I wanted, no relationship, just have fun, etc. But now I realize tha...	carolinagirl	7	426	Feb 27, 2007 by kicky
	Active A's vs. Sober A's...progress not perfection. (Preview) Just a little observation for those out there praying for their active A's to get help toward sobriety: I lived with an active A for 7 years....I went through hell and back. Recently, I started dating an old friend who, after our first date,I found out happens to be in AA and has about 2 years sobriet...	kicky	5	505	Feb 27, 2007 by kicky
	Difficult Day (Preview) Today was the funeral for my friend. It has been a difficult day. I came home this evening to find the A here. Staying here. I was not a part of that decision. Apparantly it is for 3 or 4 days. I am too tired this evening to worry about going elsewhere. Will worry about that in the morning. Wanted to th...	lilms	4	303	Feb 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	God Bless The Teenager (Preview) When I look back at my own teen years, I have to admit it could have been worse... I didn't get into drugs and alcohol like so many of my peers did. That came later for me - but if I had discovered it as a teen, things could have been very bad. I was a loner then. I wasn't popular, but I didn't fit...	barisax	14	673	Feb 27, 2007 by barisax
	Look Where You Want to Go! (Preview) Hello ((((Family)))) I got home late last nite from a little trip out to New Mexico to go skiing. This was my first time to try to ski and I left with no small amount of nervousness about the whole idea, but also very excited to try yet something else new. Something I have let fear keep me from trying in the pa...	david62	11	651	Feb 27, 2007 by Moon
	I trained the dog (Preview) OK this may sound dumb but it has been bugging me. We have this cute little dog. It is my first dog. I read alot about the dogs and started teaching her tricks; sit, down, roll over, beg, shake, pray (she puts her little nose between he paws), dance (she hops on her hind legs in a circle), fetch, speak, how t...	RainyJamie	8	437	Feb 27, 2007 by lin0606
	Things I dont get (Preview) Hi ppl. What does esh and other short words u guys use here mean anyways? Sorry I am from Iceland and english is not my native language.	IceLady	4	413	Feb 27, 2007 by QOD
	Hi, I'm new so bear with me please...here's my story.. (Preview) I'm 46 my AH is 51. We've been married 25years.Looking back on it now I realize he was an A when we met. He was one of those "friendly" drunks, you know, never got angry or abusive when he was drinking. 10 years ago he became dissabled due to an accident at work,--- so enter the drugs. P...	Anne123	6	503	Feb 27, 2007 by kismetstrand
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.