The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just a little hope for all. I had been chatting with a guy I have never talked to or met online for the past week or two and yesterday he sent me a dozen roses, a bear and a box of candy delivered to my work and called me when I got home (first time I heard his voice). NOW cynicism. I question every word that comes out of his mouth because I have no faith in people anymore. I was thinking tho. Better to do research now and thoroughly check him out rather than be slinking around looking for him at bars in a year. LOL
Really though, I have a hard time not looking this gift horse in the mouth and wondering what's the catch? I should just be thankful that today i have beautiful roses on my desk and I'll figure the rest out as it comes!
I always get a chuckle from your posts, you have such a wonderful sense of humor. I too have a hard time enjoying the good things, worrying about the what ifs. I am super cautious with motives having lost most of my trust in others, too.
Maybe, JUST FOR TODAY, I will be unafraid. I will enjoy what is beautiful and believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
Heck girl, enjoy the chocolates and smell the roses for once. I am not saying jump of the bridge w/this guy....but what is wrong w/enjoying a sweet gift such as chocolates & flowers? Use caution and stick w/your gut feelings. Take it slow & easy. Be kind to yourself along the way. :) Your wounds are deep and need healing time. Good Luck and have some fun. Sincerely, QOD :)
for me the distrust stuff plays into it all. I am distrustful so I am cynical so I dont' look for red flags. I just presume. I don't like to have self fulfilling prophecies. These days I look ahead. I want recovery. I know some of my limits and some of the pluses.
I understand where you are coming from - to me that would be a red flag too. Too much, too soon.
That's all it is, though. It doesn't really mean there is anything wrong with him, it just means that YOU are not comfortable with the speed here. So, YOU slow things down. You'll learn a lot by how he responds to this - does he respect you and slow down too, or not?
Meanwhile, nothing wrong with flowers and chocolate, enjoy them. Just don't attach a lot of meaning to them.
Caroline, The roses and chocolates... They mean something, but do they have to mean everything? Just enjoy them. Accepting a gift does not mean accepting a life together.
If it were me, I would just relax and enjoy TODAY. We have to remember that not everyone that is nice to us has a catch lol. (After all, he just may turn out to BE a catch!) There are still good people out there. So snuggle up with the bear, enjoy the chocolates and smell the roses tonight.
