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Is discussing program with A appropriate?
(Preview)
Both my A and I are involved in program (fairly new to it having bounced back and forth with it for a long time). We have never talked about how we each may interpret any of the steps, etc. and we are just at the beginnings of truly being involved in our own recoveries and leave each to his own with ea...
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jaja
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7
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680
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BIRTHDAY GIRL
(Preview)
I love birthdays !!!!!!!!!! (everyone else's that is). Today is our lovely and talented LAUREN ASHLEY'S birthday Happy Birthday Sweetheart Hope you have a wonderful day. Love ya, Maria
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Maria123
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11
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460
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TWELVE REWARDS TO TWELVE STEPS
(Preview)
Looking thru my books ,I found this in one of my pages, it was written in Alanon news letter 1979 Twelve Rewards To The Twelve Steps 1.HOPE instead of desperation. 2.FAITH instead of despair. 3.C OURAGE instead of fear. 4.PEACE OF MIND instead of confusion. 5.SELF-RESPECT instead of contempt. 6.SEL...
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angel123
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2
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1974
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prayers
(Preview)
in the midst of all this just got breast cancer diagnosis....trying to stay calm, make informed decisions, rely on my wonderful support network. feel like life has just got it out to beat me down till there is no where lower to go. love, fifi
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Fifi
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12
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466
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SUFFERING IN SILENCE!
(Preview)
Dear Roomies: I grew resentful tonight over a small incident, and it has lead to the beginning of some fruitful growth on my part that I would like to share. Earlier this evening, I called a friend who was unable to talk and asked to call me back later this evening because it wasn't a good time for her...
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BlueCloud
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6
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517
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Adult Child A
(Preview)
I am having such a difficult time w/ my son, who's 22, has had 2 dui's prior to 21 years old. He's "trying" to get his life on track according to him, but he won't admit he even has a drinking problem. Yesterday, clear cut rules, he can stay over, but there's absolutely...
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vriebe
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5
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481
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Marriage Counseling Session
(Preview)
Last night, I went to the counselor with my AH. It was pretty disastrous for me, though my AH seemed pretty happy about the whole thing. I feel like he is attempting to hide things from her, and he won't assume ownership of his actions, his behavior, and their impact on our relationship. We attem...
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theprofessor
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6
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488
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This is about ME...
(Preview)
More and more as I learn about Al-anon, visit this board and go to face2face mtg's, the consistent message is that this is about ME. Although I have feelings about what my Ah is doing or not doing, what I do is what I can control. Some things I am learning: Not only in my relationship with my husband, bu...
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Rora
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4
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331
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wish there was a stop-drinking pill or gum
(Preview)
My ah actually said that to me! He keeps telling me how he wants to quit and he's not doing very well with quitting and he wishes there was a pill or gum or something like that to help him. And I was like, "GO TO AA! GET A SPONSOR!! START SOME SORT OF PROGRAM!! Sometime I just want to strangle that man!
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minnie
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8
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659
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Went to court on Friday
(Preview)
Just an update for anyone who's interested. I DID go to court on Friday and had the restraining order made permanent. It was a horrible ordeal. He didn't show up thank god but I was first and had to testify in front of a courtroom full of people (small town) about what had transpired. How emb...
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carolinagirl
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4
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502
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my 22 yr old son is an alcholic i need advice
(Preview)
i need someone that has gone thru this to tell me what i am doing wrong or if what i have been doing is right i don't have clue and i have no family to help me and my husband is almost just gave up and my 19 yr old daughter has just had it with him.
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HELPLESSMOM
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11
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597
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Bullies and boundaries
(Preview)
I'm having a lot of fear here, and can't get a grasp on the thought I'm having that's causing it (if you know what I mean). AH relapsed et al over the last year (second relapse with him in seven years), and I kicked him out in January. He's been living with the guy who set up the AA meet...
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Kim65
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6
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588
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Also...A Canadian Guy..:)
(Preview)
I've been on this site since it started many moons ago..my name is Phil..and I'm a recovering alcoholic.. As an added bonus I've also been a member of Alanon...for a great length of time also... I dont share on this board much.... There are a different set of guidelines set down...so.......
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Phil
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14
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664
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Adult Child A
(Preview)
I am having such a difficult time w/ my son, who's 22, has had 2 dui's prior to 21 years old. He's "trying" to get his life on track according to him, but he won't admit he even has a drinking problem. Yesterday, clear cut rules, he can stay over, but there's absolutely...
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vriebe
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0
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327
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I feel so angry and helpless
(Preview)
This whole thing with my dil has just left me feeling helpless and hopeless. I can't control her using my grandaughters as pawns in trying to force my son to sign divorce papers that have stipulations that are unreasonable. I am so angry that she is keeping my grandchildren away from me just beca...
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JulieLynn
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3
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693
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Something that Really Helped me
(Preview)
Something that really helped me put things in perspective this past week was to write down the Serenity Prayer like this....................... God, Grant me the SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CAN NOT CHANGE....... That Garry is an alcoholic. That I can not make him STOP DRINKING. That Garry does n...
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debo
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1
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408
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this is a good program
(Preview)
I have learn last night i went to a f2f meeting i felt out of place but listen to every one who talk because i know i got a problem and it ME my best thinking got me here and i realize i need to work on my self more than ever,but for your help i would had been more nerves than i have been, i just started and i got a long...
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marty
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2
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393
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This is about ME...
(Preview)
-- Edited by Rora at 06:05, 2007-03-07
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Rora
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0
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347
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The Addiction Project
(Preview)
HBO is premiering a documentary series on addiction http://www.hbo.com/addiction/ during their FREE preview March 15-18. For those of us that have a loved one that battles addiction, it may help us understand it a little better. If you cannot watch the series http://www.hbo.com/addiction/the...
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akristab
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8
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473
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Work update
(Preview)
The numbers came out for the month of February!!!! Out of 8 showrooms I MADE #1 IN SALES!!!! My net sales for the month 45,000!!!! I have only been there for 90 days!!! I LOVE MY JOB!!!!! Thank you so much for all your support here! You guys are my extended family, good or bad times of my life I have to fill yo...
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marmare
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5
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329
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Aren't we allowed to make communication mistakes in A relationships(for cryin' out loud!)
(Preview)
For the most part my A and I have been getting along since separating 6 mos. ago. Him even staying here for a while during the last 6 weeks. It's been all good. But a week ago he got real pissed at me to my reaction over something trivial ( I back offed off taking money from him because he was so ups...
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jaja
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4
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438
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back from the hospital and home alone
(Preview)
Hello just wanted to quickly let you all know I am home from the hospital. I had my hyserectomy--they took out only one ovary--it was at least as big as a tennis ball--Fibroma tumor, non cancerous. In pain, alone, and still dealing with my A, who is struggling to make ends meet at a sh***y motel up the road...
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hippietrippiechick
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9
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537
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And Another Thing = from the session
(Preview)
This just came back to me, I can't believe I didn't mention this earlier! During our session, my AH told the therapist that we had a fight, and he told me to find a new place to live (all true). Then he tells her it wasn't difficult for him, that he could easily end our relationship without a...
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theprofessor
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1
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386
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Someone I worry about and wish I could change
(Preview)
Part of a reccomended ALA activity, write a couple paragraphs about the person and what you would change if you could. I would make the A happier. My A is not a happy camper, drinking or not. Sometimes the tension just ripples off of him and on to everyone else around. I've put in some serious effort i...
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RainyJamie
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4
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471
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There are 2 ways to live your life...
(Preview)
Hello ((((Everyone)))) "There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein (1879-1955) I recieved this quote in an email from my sponsor yesterday. You know, just the very existance of this program...
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rtexas
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1
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382
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The One Thing That Prevented His Recovery?
(Preview)
Haven't posted for a while, as I still have reservations about this. I understand that not all alcoholics are peodophilles, or vice versa. My exhusband, now dead was both, in my opinion the fact that he was also a peodophile only made it more difficult for him to recover from alcoholism. As for be...
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Barbs45
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7
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413
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Need Help Please
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, I am new to this group. I am chairing a meeting tonight and was wondering if anyone could direct me to information about - acceptance. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you in Advance. Mary
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Ragmoll
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3
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419
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my program is working
(Preview)
These past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions for me but amidst it all I can see that the program is working miracles in my life. My sister addicted to opiates, went to detox and is attending meetings every day, she is a new person. However, I have found myself relating to her differently t...
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Mobirdie
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3
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348
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And Another Thing = from the session
(Preview)
This just came back to me, I can't believe I didn't mention this earlier! During our session, my AH told the therapist that we had a fight, and he told me to find a new place to live (all true). Then he tells her it wasn't difficult for him, that he could easily end our relationship without a...
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theprofessor
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4
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532
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prayers for grandson
(Preview)
My oldest grandson attempted suicide last night. Prayers would be appreciated. Bill
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MsgBo
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12
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437
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The authentic self
(Preview)
In order to grow you need to be sincere and honest with yourself. You are like anybody else neither better nor worse, just a human being. Your sincerity and your will to be true are the key elements to your realization. Unknown Freud spent years of his research (and who knows how much cocaine!) trying t...
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Tiger2006
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1
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356
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back from the hospital and home alone
(Preview)
Hello just wanted to quickly let you all know I am home from the hospital. I had my hyserectomy--they took out only one ovary--it was at least as big as a tennis ball--Fibroma tumor, non cancerous. In pain, alone, and still dealing with my A, who is struggling to make ends meet at a sh***y motel up the road...
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hippietrippiechick
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3
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436
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he thinks i'm stupid
(Preview)
I am so tired of my ah thinking I am a complete moron. Today I figured out where his hiding place is. I hate myself for caring, or looking for it even. Well I saw him go outside today with his coat, thinking he was going to feed the dog or something, and he comes in with a bulk in his pocket which he was holding fr...
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minnie
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6
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434
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Resourcefulness
(Preview)
I took my kids last weekend to stay the night with a lady i know thru work. She is also from out of state and her grandkids don't come often. We talked for a while about her being a surrogate grandma for my kids becuase we have no one here either. Anyway, they loved eachother everything went great an...
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carolinagirl
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4
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476
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The Addiction Project
(Preview)
HBO is premiering a documentary series on addiction http://www.hbo.com/addiction/ during their FREE preview March 15-18. For those of us that have a loved one that battles addiction, it may help us understand it a little better. If you cannot watch the series http://www.hbo.com/addiction/the...
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akristab
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0
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233
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54 year sobriety medallion
(Preview)
I thought perhaps some of you might be interested in seeing this gem. It is the 54 year Sobriety Medallion presented to Geneva Vessels. Her grandson gave it to us yesterday. I was not priviledged to know this awesome lady but her sobriety date is Jan 10, 1944. Miss Geneva passed away a few years ago b...
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Mobirdie
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2
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608
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any more C's ?
(Preview)
I know I didn't Cause it I can't Control it I can't Cure it I have heard in meetings that I can Contribute to the disease and I can Care. These were huge for me.Seeing my part in the family disease finally gave me something I could actually do about it. W...
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serendipity
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9
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472
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How much contact to have with a recovering A
(Preview)
Well I think my A got a bit of a wake-up call seeing me with someone else recently. He showed up at my place today saying he felt like his heart had been ripped out and that he wanted to stop drinking if it meant he could have his family back (meaning me and our son).. However he said after seeing me at the park...
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mama_nz
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5
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807
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For all who have an ex AH
(Preview)
I just want to let you all know that a relationship can be maintained with your ex. I have set boundaries as before. I only speak with him during the day, when I know he his sober. We still support the boys together at sporting events, some people probably don't even know we are divorced, LOL. When th...
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jrtjosey
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8
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626
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There are 2 ways to live your life...
(Preview)
Hello ((((Everyone)))) "There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein (1879-1955) I recieved this quote in an email from my sponsor yesterday. You know, just the very existance of this program...
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rtexas
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5
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508
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I've been up all night crying
(Preview)
My A son is in a diversion center trying to get his life straightened out. Him and his wife are going thru a divorce because of my sons drug and alcohol problems. Well my dil called me last night and she said that because my son will not sign the divorce papers and because he will not be paying child-suppo...
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JulieLynn
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8
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741
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Reality Bites!!
(Preview)
This is my first time participating in this forum. Where to start?! I am married to an alcoholic. He seems like the ideal husband and father most of the time but every once in a while he goes on a binge. Last night he took off after I fell asleep and hasn't been home since (24 hrs). He won't an...
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Scigirl
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5
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344
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My attitude stinks...
(Preview)
Yesterday was mine and Ah's 5th anniversary. I was worked up to have a horrible day. We were getting together to discuss things. I had to speak to my sponsor before he arrived, who shot it to me plain and simple... "Your attitude stinks and you've decided to have a horrible day with your A....
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Rora
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7
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592
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moving along
(Preview)
One of my latest key insights is that the A crashes from fantasy about as much as he crashes from alcohol. Right now he has a huge fantasy about doing a geographic. I am trying to get out of his way as much as possible. I am tired of taking the heat and blame when his fantasy crashes. So he is either catatonic...
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maresie2
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2
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336
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GLAD TO BE BACK AGAIN
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))) Well, I have been missing from here for almost three weeks.... And I have missed you guys so much... I'm not in any better shape than when I left here. It's been five weeks since my relationship ended, and I'm still in a daze. I am still cryi...
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ally
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10
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660
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an average weekend after a disastrous week
(Preview)
My AH and I, we have marriage counseling this week. I am dreading going, mainly because he's been brooding over my latest actions for the latter part of the week, and I know I am going to look like a complete a**hole in our session today. I finally got really fed up last week, this time over the woman w...
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theprofessor
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2
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403
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release the anger!
(Preview)
I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. --William Blake We have a right to claim our own feelings. Sometimes we get angry, but hold it inside because we think it's wrong to feel it. If anger builds inside us, it expands like a b...
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Tiger2006
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4
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488
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Feelings
(Preview)
From childhood I grew up in a house where I was taught not show feelings (only happy ones). Anyway, when my mother passed away and I started to cry she said "Don't cry" and I just stuffed the feelings. I realized I never really grieved my mother's death, just went about business. ...
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Alyce
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4
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436
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Progressive disease reminder
(Preview)
I am feeling really down right now, today my ex-A who had been living with me for the last two months but left last sunday, progressed to a new level for him, drinking during the day in order to play darts properly. I know I should not be surprised or disappointed that drinking comes before his family and o...
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maire rua
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7
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504
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When sobriety happens...............
(Preview)
I started thinking about this. I have waited eight years for my ah to change his way and to become sober...........and then once sober to not become a dry drunk.......well he's done both. So now he's sober (again) and I got to thinking, if this is for real......how will I ever know? Will I keep l...
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Friendofyours
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12
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629
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No longer reaching out
(Preview)
I have 1 sibling - a brother who has been in recovery a short time. I have recently learned to "let go", and am still working on it. For me, letting go means no longer having any expectations, and no longer reaching out. I have always been the one to initiate contact with him, except when he w...
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virjennyan
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2
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378
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intervention?
(Preview)
Has anyone had any experiences with interventions? I was told it may be helpful with my ex husband who is an alcoholic. I would like to hear some input on them because I know they don't always work. thanks.
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lam0204
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8
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669
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He finally "Re-Admitting" to being an "A"
(Preview)
I am pleased that my A has finally admitted, again, that he is in fact an A. I wish i could add that he is going to meetings, but hasn't since Sat. I am hopeful that he is on the right track though. We had an issue with Bryon the other day and I did an unexpected trip to Portland. He is ok now, but really sc...
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smpoli
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3
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560
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troublesome sister
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm hoping you will tell me what you think of this situation. I'm not sure what to do. Three weeks ago I was visiting my sister and she sat me down saying she wanted to talk to me. I was uneasy. I hate being put under pressure. I knew what she was going to say. Years ago my younger sister (...
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annmarie
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6
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494
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Anguish
(Preview)
Hello... I'm new to all of this. I've never ever heard about Alanon until today, and I immedeatley rushed online to find something...anything... to help myself. I am so desperate, and so brutally alone. My boyfriend of four, (almost five!) years has been knocking back a bottle of vodka a d...
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JMW
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15
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510
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Still getting banned
(Preview)
I am still getting banned. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! There is no way to get the message to the op on duty because when I try to type a message in, it says "not on channel." It goes on & on about spam, abuse & my ISP Thumpernet being banned!!! I did try the website to figure it out, but I...
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horselover58
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4
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493
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Codependency
(Preview)
I was reading a bit about codepenency on http://www.recovery-man.com/coda/codependency.htm I'm was a bit confused by this term. Did it imply that if you live with what you believe to be an alcoholic and you display co-dependent traits that you may just be imagining or exaggerating the fact...
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mama_nz
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2
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324
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just feeling sorry for myself.....again
(Preview)
Hey family. It seems like i've been doing a lot of feeling sorry for myself lately. i hate that. i hate being sad and depressed, and sometimes i hate my husband for making me feel this way. then i remember, that i'm letting him make me feel this way. and that makes me so angry at myself. why do i let him do this...
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minnie
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10
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532
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This is not my beautiful wife
(Preview)
OK this came up before, but last night was the first time I really spoke up about it. The A takes pain medication, quite a long history of it. The doctor switched to Methadone. The A doesn't take that so much. The A has been stockpiling the leftovers, has a significant ammount. Occaisionally talks...
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RainyJamie
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5
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3067
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feelin worn
(Preview)
I am just gonna ramble because my mind is foggy.....days,nights,events,arguments,conflicts, LACK OF UNDERSTANDING....life with my live in A bf has gotten to a really confusing place. He is sober, going to meetings and therapy and trying to handle his underlying problems as a sober adult for the f...
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Fifi
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4
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292
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