Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

CAM0914 · CAM0914

i'm starting to see the chaos that was my life on a whole new level. I hope, dear god, i hope i never become that person again. it was pain, on top of more pain, etc. i had no tools to cope...i drank. i'm here now, one year later, feeling great in my sobriety. it works if you work it. and yes, i'm worth it. ...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

have you ever felt like you were trying to solve a puzzle but you didn't quite have all the information? Well, that's how I have been feeling. It has even led to panic attacks. The answer to the puzzle is I need to have more faith in myself. I need to have confidence in me and my own abilities. So, if I alread...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, thanks for saying that, I guess its better to step away than to say thing that cant be unsaid J Anyway, I know he is your son and you love him and want him to have everything he wants but I also want C to grow up healthy and Im not really sure at this point what is the best thing. I have been thinking abo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Has the dog come home yet? Have you found her?

jrl · jrl

By my A ex, is one of the reasons we broke up was that she feel like I was there for her, when she decided to quit drinking. I have stood beside her through everything we have done toegther and all her decisions, I dont know how else to show her that I am still there for her no matter what happens... ~ Mr. Clingy...

Lanchas · Lanchas

I wrote this last night....... This may not make sense or seem rational because I am typing as I am thinking and I have lots running through my head about this....... I am a big fan of Law & Order: SVU. I just the watched episode about the A mother who drank vodka and it talked about the feelings of child...

maresie2 · maresie2

the A's alcoholism and drug addiction has not progressed to the phase where he is a sociopath. When my dog went missing on Monday I spoke to him. His response to the situation which had me very very distressed was to try to con money out of me. I think I have really resisted seing him as a sociopath for a...

Kim65 · Kim65

Haven't seen you online for a while?? Maybe I missed her posts?? Hope you are OK hon! Kim

maresie2 · maresie2

My big lab mix got out last night and after hours of searching is no where to be seen. I am desolate and waiting for the animal shelters to open. The A offered to help if I paid him!!! That's it for me. I feel absolutely alone, abandoned and without resources. Of course I have my own two feet. My dogs got out...

lebe27 · lebe27

Hi All, Haven't been around but have still been checking out the board now and again. Since hubby cleared up 7 year old outstanding warrants in Rhode Island back in July things have been going very smoothly. He has been on the sober path again. Even with my bankruptcy 3 years ago I was able to secure a m...

detatching from family members · annmarie

Hi everyone, It's been a while since I've posted. I've just been reading posts. I've been working very hard at detatching from people who are affected by the disease of alcoholism, namely my family members. As I get better, which is great, I can see how the illness affects them with greater clarity. I h...

New Member · Intrepid

Hi Everyone, I've never joined a message board for ANYTHING, let alone for advice and community, so please bear with me if I'm way off on etiquette, etc. In addition, if you have anything to say, thats why I'm here! So, good or bad, critical or sympathetic, let it flow. I feel like I'm in a corner, but k...

wp · wp

Hi all, I have been traveling for a week, and missing you all so much that I actually paid Tmobile to get online for a day! rofl. Will be back next week, but wanted to check in. You will never know, but I am suggesting here and now that you helped me more than you know to deal with family visits with a g...

Cheryl28659 · Cheryl28659

I have lived in fear my entire life. Intense fear of the next intoxicated belligerent episode. Will it be loud? Will it last long? Will anyone be physically injured? Will someone leave mad? Will it be me? For many years it was my mother who brought this chaos to my life. And I thought I had fixed that part o...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Since A will be out in a week, I have been getting that feeling of impending doom lately I hear the star wars darth vader entering the room music...LOL. I guess I haven't given much thought to him and his visitation of our son since it hasn't been a concern the past few months but I know it's going to hit the...

bobump · bobump

One more post before my self imposed break, LOL Wow, was interesting to see that topic when I came here today to post about my son. I posted seperately because carolinagirl at least has something to pin it on. I got the tail, I got the blindfold, but I have no clue where this jackass is. lol Between my fe...

ddub · ddub

confusion can be a good thing - never thought of that!! confusion can mean I am not ready or it is not the right time for this issue/plan confusion can keep us from acting until we are calm and sure trying to make sane decisions/plans in a A house of insanity,can require lots of time so embrace the confusi...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I think I have a new sickness, I can't stop thinking alanon when I clean. Ummm is there a 12 step program for that. Ok so the new thought. Last night after I took a shower. I noticed that my hands were really dry. Hmmm I spent quite a bit of time with bleach and pinesole and washing dishes no wonder they...

debilyn · debilyn

I apologise for not being here. Please feel free to email me privately if you feel a need. Have made a major decision to finish the legal sep and divorce my AH. He actually died after his brain surgery anyway. It is more apparent than ever. We just never know how horrible things can go wrong in this world....

bobump · bobump

I was going to take a break from MIP but I just had to post this. So, 2 weeks ago, my son and I had it out a little bit when I indirectly expressed my frustration with him not having gone to Alateen the for a bit. He goes, comes out of the meeting, comes out w/ an commitment to read the preamble at the individual a...

summergrl83 · summergrl83

The last few weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. I found out I was pregnant (by my A boyfriend) and decided not to go through with the pregnancy. It was not a very hard decision for me, this is a terrible time in my life for a child, not to mention I am not sure I want to stay with my boyfriend and defin...

maire rua · maire rua

I have just dealt with my student's work and been as positive as I can be. I have also provided direction and not just sent back the comments. I feel happy about my level of supervision and the detachment involved in it. On an another level, I have so much stress in my life at the moment, that I feel overwhel...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Been living in a state of depression these past few months.....alot of questions, I have questioned about everything in my life....Still don't have many answers, however things seem were heading in a better direction.... Zach is playing football again, daughter is starting to lau...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))) My last post was full of "positive" thoughts and feelings. And guess what, WHY do I know It's not going to last. WHY, can I not allow myself to be happy. The last three days have been horrible for me. You all know I had a friend come up from England. I...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

Some say I have found my bottom, believe me it's not pretty down here. I have been in program just under three years. During that time I was asked to start a new meeting at our church, which after a year is doing well. I have been going to as many functions as I can, retreats, AA weekend functions and at tim...

maresie2 · maresie2

It seems like the A is finally hitting a bottom he can't find a way out of. His current landlord is tired of his tantrum and his denial and his insistence that money is coming some day. She has issued him an order to get out. He insists he is staying. He refuses point blank to go to his uncles who would take him...

babysteps · babysteps

The good run ended last night after 34.8 days. He supposedly went to an AA meeting at 7 pm, got home a little after 8. Football game on TV at 8:15. Daughter and I went to bed at 8:30 after busy weekend. Heard him go out to his car (red flag), comes back in house and I hear cough/crack of can opening. I get up and g...

Sandy34 · Sandy34

I am newly married, and my new husband is an alcoholic... I knew that he drank occasionally when we got married but i had no idea how bad his drinking was until we moved in together. I believe alcoholism is an illness and i dont believe in leaving someone just because they are sick, but i honestly dont kno...

Loupiness · Loupiness

So in our marriage class we did a personality survey and I discovered I am of the Helper Type. Of the traits described, it said that my type can be viewed as a pushover, that I need to learn to be more aware of my needs, how to say "no", to be more willing to confront, to share all of who I am, and to a...

RippedNTorn · RippedNTorn

Hi to all.. very first time here to this site and I have read some of the postings and decided to post my own.. I'll try and keep my story short.. I am in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic.. (long distance relationship) clean and sober for 18 months.. I am clean and sober in support of my Loved one....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have 8 more days until the A is released back into society I would love to say that it's no big deal, etc. etc. but as most of us know he will probably show up in my vicinity or be calling wanting this that and the other. His mom said she has found a lady who can help him with a place to stay (several hours from m...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

This was his weekend to come and see the kids. I had told him that I was going to go out with a friend of mine. So when he walked in the door he reaked of vodka. It was SO nasty and he denied it. I told him in front of the kids (my bad) that he crossed my boundaries and he would need to leave and drive four hours back....

natbrat · natbrat

I'd love some feedback on this decision I've made. I'll keep it short and sweet. My sister has always been a mean drunk. WE live on different sides of the continent and have kept in touch over the phone, infrequent visits and letters. Our relationship has always been strained. My Mom thinks her nastyne...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family))))))))), Just wanted to take a moment to wish all of you (who are in the right hemisphere) HAPPY FIRST DAY OF FALL! This can only mean one thing: THE GREAT PUMPKIN IS COMING NEXT MONTH! I'm in the North East, and the leaves are starting to turn, the apples are getting ripe (suppose to be on...

maresie2 · maresie2

I'm finally finally finally in regroup mode. I am able to pay down some of my bills (I will be years paying them). I am looking to a time when I can save and move on. I am looking at what my options are on many many levels. I feel more positive than I have for a long time. I am going tomorrow to get my hair cut and do...

TheArtOf · TheArtOf

Just got off the phone with my ex AW. Yesterday was her birthday and my adult children and myself did not call her. Her drinking has interfered with our lives to the extent that we have decided on the tough love route. Get treatment and we will be there, until then we can't be there for you. I think she mi...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hurray I have cable! Glad to be back! Thanks for the replies to my quick update a while ago. Continuation ... I'm happy. Thinga are all coming together, I was declared legally blind, opening up all kinds of opportunities for me and releasing alot of stress over medical bills and financial issues. On th...

Cheryl28659 · Cheryl28659

I am a 43 year old, child of an alcoholc mother and MIA father. I cut off contact with my mother over 10 years ago. Her drinking left me twisted in knotts inside. All the lies, promises and just plain insanity, was just to much. I want a peacful life. With out the caos. But I must be doing something worng. Bec...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Ok So last week I posted on Having a spiritual awakening while cleaning. Is there such a thing as too much program, because it happened again. But this time was different, maybe because I was more open to it. Well we just moved into this new place about a month ago and tonight we are having a dinner p...

gardengal · gardengal

I remember very clearly how scared and frightened I was to even call Alanon, nevermind go to a meeting. In utter desparation I finally reached out, and entered those doors. I decided to go to another city in the hopes I would not run into anyone I knew, I was ashamed and terrifed. I didnt want people to kno...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgment or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. Separating ourselves from the adverse affects of another persons behavior* can be a means of detaching: This does not necessarily require physical separation...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((((Everyone)))))))) How hard is it for you to speak the truth and not feel guilty? It is easy for me when it is what the person wants to hear... very, very hard when it is not. Last night was a really tough one... For about a month my wife has been so happy with her "sobriety".... I say tha...

ddub · ddub

Read something tonight about when you finally get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you are close to letting it go and moving on. hmmm, I wonder if this might be true if you let go and leave for good? then I wonder, if you don't leave, can it always be possible to let go? I figgure I am going through stag...

babysteps · babysteps

About a month ago I posted that I had decided that no matter how bad my AH was, I wouldn't say anything. Watching him go downhill was so hard, but I held firm with the knowledge that interfering with his drinking over and over throughout the years did not stop the drinking, only created an emotional disas...

maire rua · maire rua

At present I am supervising two students with their theses, one has been lax but has the work done, the other whom I had been quite friendly has annoyed the hell out of me but I calmly dealt with her today. Her life is a constant drama, and though she says she has the work done, she finds it difficult to take a...

binohio · binohio

I wind up in these work situations and have stayed with them until something happens to make me leave. The first two the companies were going bankrupt and I needed to have a job so I found another because I had to. In both cases I left a year before they folded. I took the first thing offered. Then next one th...

Becky1 · Becky1

omg! My dream has come true! Keith Urban is coming to OHIO~! And I have floor seating tickets! My friend Karen and I are going. Hubs are staying home..... I had to join Keith Urban's fan club (I joined a fan club at age 53?!?!?) LOL Tickets went on sale Tues. at 12 noon, if you joined the fan club.....

florrie · florrie

in response to some posts about money needs and job or debt pressures, i wanted to share that i was helped to move from anxiety and confusion to trust and clarity by reading while applying my step work. two books that help me, maybe they will help you too a currency of hope.....debtors anon. ...

twinkie · twinkie

I lost it this week and I am reeling from the shaming and guilt. I really let the A have it yesterday. He called mid-day to tell me what a horrible experience he had, he sounded angry, then when I said I had to go as I was at work, he was abrupt and said he'd call tomorrow. Thereafter, he called me a number of...

serendipity · serendipity

My mother called today. That probably tells you everything but that let me elaborate. I am stressed to the max. Work schedual was cut which means not as much money. Ex REFUSES to pay support as he thinks I am rich. LOL! Oh that was just has to make a girl giggle. I am supporting me and 3 kids on 240 a week. Gos...

hudsond · hudsond

Well they wanted him to put in another plea on 2 cases that he has already plead on. Then he was sent back out of there. Man the judicial system really puzzles me sometimes. So off we go again on our merry way! I just knew it was going to be a beginning to a trial. My HP likes to dangle little things so I will...

Kim65 · Kim65

First, sorry about the absense, my laptop went kaput. I LOVE my laptop, it's like losing a friend, it was my little window to the world. But anyway . . . Two days ago as I was drinking my morning coffee an AA guy I know who has helped out my ex before called and asked my permission to come and pick up the truck...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The thing I find most interesting is the disconnect between reality and the A's perception of reality. Examples: I'm a great dad - can you give me some examples of what you do that makes you a great dad? NOOO that just incites anger. Last week I got several letters from the A - the common theme - I'm gettin...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok, so yesterday was a rough night. I got off work, drove home and picked up daughter to take her to youth group for the first time (she's very anti god and wants to go because of boys but I figure whatever her motivation at least she's voluntarily walking in the door :) Anwyay, got her, got the other two a...

janey225 · janey225

Yesterday was a H**l Of a day. I have been trying to do this by myself and just reading the board here. Wich has helped alot. Yesterday I lost it. I came home from school orientation (for myself) crying. For no good reason really. Just life in general. I don't cry to my AH anymore like I used to. I can't trust...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So...yeah...there's really no good way to talk about this...to make a cute, nice intro... I'm seriously thinking of turning in my dad to the medical board. Wow there it is. And I'm laughing because if I don't I'll cry and already my neck hurts so much because I didn't sleep and eating was like not goo...

jrl · jrl

Hey all, new here, my ex-girlfriend has recently started going through AA and becoming sober (well 4 months here next week). Im very pround of her. She wanted space when she first started going through it, and me being clingy, didnt know how to do that, which partially made way to our breakup. I still lo...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((((Everyone)))))))) I have held on to my feelings of gratitude and felt blessed with the unusual sunrise this morning.... but feel HP was at work yesterday to bolster my strength. My wife and I had been talking divorce for a while now. She first as she was just frustrated with the way things are....

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))))))))))) I've not posted in a while, as I have had things going on in my life to keep me busy the last few weeks. Some of you know I have been chatting to a guy in England online. For the last 6 weeks we have been in contact every day by the net and texting. He came t...

bobump · bobump

"Treat people as they are, and they will remain that way. Treat them as they are already what they can be, and you help them become what they are capable of becoming." Goethe Hmm......treating people as they could be was always my MO. The problem was that I didn't let go of the result. And th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	one year later... (Preview) i'm starting to see the chaos that was my life on a whole new level. I hope, dear god, i hope i never become that person again. it was pain, on top of more pain, etc. i had no tools to cope...i drank. i'm here now, one year later, feeling great in my sobriety. it works if you work it. and yes, i'm worth it. ...	CAM0914	0	417	Sep 27, 2007 by CAM0914
	Let me out of this maze that is my head (Preview) have you ever felt like you were trying to solve a puzzle but you didn't quite have all the information? Well, that's how I have been feeling. It has even led to panic attacks. The answer to the puzzle is I need to have more faith in myself. I need to have confidence in me and my own abilities. So, if I alread...	seekingserenity	2	2611	Sep 27, 2007 by Kim65
	letter to my MIL (long but good) (Preview) Well, thanks for saying that, I guess its better to step away than to say thing that cant be unsaid J Anyway, I know he is your son and you love him and want him to have everything he wants but I also want C to grow up healthy and Im not really sure at this point what is the best thing. I have been thinking abo...	carolinagirl	2	584	Sep 27, 2007 by Kim65
	Maresie any word about the dog? (Preview) Has the dog come home yet? Have you found her?	carolinagirl	7	518	Sep 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	One thing said to me (Preview) By my A ex, is one of the reasons we broke up was that she feel like I was there for her, when she decided to quit drinking. I have stood beside her through everything we have done toegther and all her decisions, I dont know how else to show her that I am still there for her no matter what happens... ~ Mr. Clingy...	jrl	4	539	Sep 27, 2007 by jrl
	realizations (Preview) I wrote this last night....... This may not make sense or seem rational because I am typing as I am thinking and I have lots running through my head about this....... I am a big fan of Law & Order: SVU. I just the watched episode about the A mother who drank vodka and it talked about the feelings of child...	Lanchas	4	617	Sep 27, 2007 by QOD
	Sociopathic tenddencies (Preview) the A's alcoholism and drug addiction has not progressed to the phase where he is a sociopath. When my dog went missing on Monday I spoke to him. His response to the situation which had me very very distressed was to try to con money out of me. I think I have really resisted seing him as a sociopath for a...	maresie2	4	738	Sep 27, 2007 by Kim65
	QOD?? (Preview) Haven't seen you online for a while?? Maybe I missed her posts?? Hope you are OK hon! Kim	Kim65	4	391	Sep 27, 2007 by QOD
	please pray for me (Preview) My big lab mix got out last night and after hours of searching is no where to be seen. I am desolate and waiting for the animal shelters to open. The A offered to help if I paid him!!! That's it for me. I feel absolutely alone, abandoned and without resources. Of course I have my own two feet. My dogs got out...	maresie2	11	706	Sep 26, 2007 by debilyn
	Long Time No See (Preview) Hi All, Haven't been around but have still been checking out the board now and again. Since hubby cleared up 7 year old outstanding warrants in Rhode Island back in July things have been going very smoothly. He has been on the sober path again. Even with my bankruptcy 3 years ago I was able to secure a m...	lebe27	7	528	Sep 26, 2007 by getoverit
	detatching from family members (Preview) Hi everyone, It's been a while since I've posted. I've just been reading posts. I've been working very hard at detatching from people who are affected by the disease of alcoholism, namely my family members. As I get better, which is great, I can see how the illness affects them with greater clarity. I h...	annmarie	3	705	Sep 26, 2007 by QOD
	New Member (Preview) Hi Everyone, I've never joined a message board for ANYTHING, let alone for advice and community, so please bear with me if I'm way off on etiquette, etc. In addition, if you have anything to say, thats why I'm here! So, good or bad, critical or sympathetic, let it flow. I feel like I'm in a corner, but k...	Intrepid	17	634	Sep 26, 2007 by Intrepid
	mspw on break (Preview) Hi all, I have been traveling for a week, and missing you all so much that I actually paid Tmobile to get online for a day! rofl. Will be back next week, but wanted to check in. You will never know, but I am suggesting here and now that you helped me more than you know to deal with family visits with a g...	wp	4	496	Sep 26, 2007 by belle1
	Living in fear (Preview) I have lived in fear my entire life. Intense fear of the next intoxicated belligerent episode. Will it be loud? Will it last long? Will anyone be physically injured? Will someone leave mad? Will it be me? For many years it was my mother who brought this chaos to my life. And I thought I had fixed that part o...	Cheryl28659	7	638	Sep 26, 2007 by Cheryl28659
	Feeling of impending doom (Preview) Since A will be out in a week, I have been getting that feeling of impending doom lately I hear the star wars darth vader entering the room music...LOL. I guess I haven't given much thought to him and his visitation of our son since it hasn't been a concern the past few months but I know it's going to hit the...	carolinagirl	12	1288	Sep 26, 2007 by carolinagirl
	imending doom? me too (Preview) One more post before my self imposed break, LOL Wow, was interesting to see that topic when I came here today to post about my son. I posted seperately because carolinagirl at least has something to pin it on. I got the tail, I got the blindfold, but I have no clue where this jackass is. lol Between my fe...	bobump	6	623	Sep 26, 2007 by carolinagirl
	something new I learned yesterday (Preview) confusion can be a good thing - never thought of that!! confusion can mean I am not ready or it is not the right time for this issue/plan confusion can keep us from acting until we are calm and sure trying to make sane decisions/plans in a A house of insanity,can require lots of time so embrace the confusi...	ddub	1	475	Sep 26, 2007 by rtexas
	And you all thought the scrubbing floor thougths were done! Hehe nope (Preview) Hi all, I think I have a new sickness, I can't stop thinking alanon when I clean. Ummm is there a 12 step program for that. Ok so the new thought. Last night after I took a shower. I noticed that my hands were really dry. Hmmm I spent quite a bit of time with bleach and pinesole and washing dishes no wonder they...	Mandy123	4	521	Sep 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	hi My sis and bros (Preview) I apologise for not being here. Please feel free to email me privately if you feel a need. Have made a major decision to finish the legal sep and divorce my AH. He actually died after his brain surgery anyway. It is more apparent than ever. We just never know how horrible things can go wrong in this world....	debilyn	5	670	Sep 26, 2007 by cdb19
	my son an alateen speaker ? and a chance to work my program? (Preview) I was going to take a break from MIP but I just had to post this. So, 2 weeks ago, my son and I had it out a little bit when I indirectly expressed my frustration with him not having gone to Alateen the for a bit. He goes, comes out of the meeting, comes out w/ an commitment to read the preamble at the individual a...	bobump	7	1179	Sep 25, 2007 by jonibaloni21
	Feeling Alone (Preview) The last few weeks have been some of the hardest of my life. I found out I was pregnant (by my A boyfriend) and decided not to go through with the pregnancy. It was not a very hard decision for me, this is a terrible time in my life for a child, not to mention I am not sure I want to stay with my boyfriend and defin...	summergrl83	6	693	Sep 25, 2007 by serendipity
	re; being honest (Preview) I have just dealt with my student's work and been as positive as I can be. I have also provided direction and not just sent back the comments. I feel happy about my level of supervision and the detachment involved in it. On an another level, I have so much stress in my life at the moment, that I feel overwhel...	maire rua	5	494	Sep 25, 2007 by florrie
	When does the Darkness End (Preview) Hello Friends, Been living in a state of depression these past few months.....alot of questions, I have questioned about everything in my life....Still don't have many answers, however things seem were heading in a better direction.... Zach is playing football again, daughter is starting to lau...	Andrea12	12	817	Sep 25, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	WHAT TRIGGERS THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS WITHIN US???? (Preview) (((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))) My last post was full of "positive" thoughts and feelings. And guess what, WHY do I know It's not going to last. WHY, can I not allow myself to be happy. The last three days have been horrible for me. You all know I had a friend come up from England. I...	ally	11	767	Sep 25, 2007 by canadianguy
	Emotional Exhaustion? (Preview) Some say I have found my bottom, believe me it's not pretty down here. I have been in program just under three years. During that time I was asked to start a new meeting at our church, which after a year is doing well. I have been going to as many functions as I can, retreats, AA weekend functions and at tim...	Mobirdie	8	2013	Sep 25, 2007 by carosie
	hitting bottom (Preview) It seems like the A is finally hitting a bottom he can't find a way out of. His current landlord is tired of his tantrum and his denial and his insistence that money is coming some day. She has issued him an order to get out. He insists he is staying. He refuses point blank to go to his uncles who would take him...	maresie2	7	727	Sep 25, 2007 by carolinagirl
	35 days and not counting (Preview) The good run ended last night after 34.8 days. He supposedly went to an AA meeting at 7 pm, got home a little after 8. Football game on TV at 8:15. Daughter and I went to bed at 8:30 after busy weekend. Heard him go out to his car (red flag), comes back in house and I hear cough/crack of can opening. I get up and g...	babysteps	7	1066	Sep 25, 2007 by Jerry F
	At the End of my Rope help advice alcoholism Support (Preview) I am newly married, and my new husband is an alcoholic... I knew that he drank occasionally when we got married but i had no idea how bad his drinking was until we moved in together. I believe alcoholism is an illness and i dont believe in leaving someone just because they are sick, but i honestly dont kno...	Sandy34	6	9281	Sep 24, 2007 by Andrea12
	Are you a "Helper" too? (Preview) So in our marriage class we did a personality survey and I discovered I am of the Helper Type. Of the traits described, it said that my type can be viewed as a pushover, that I need to learn to be more aware of my needs, how to say "no", to be more willing to confront, to share all of who I am, and to a...	Loupiness	8	887	Sep 24, 2007 by lin0606
	Ripped And Torn :sadangel: (Preview) Hi to all.. very first time here to this site and I have read some of the postings and decided to post my own.. I'll try and keep my story short.. I am in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic.. (long distance relationship) clean and sober for 18 months.. I am clean and sober in support of my Loved one....	RippedNTorn	8	660	Sep 24, 2007 by RippedNTorn
	One week and One day.. (Preview) I have 8 more days until the A is released back into society I would love to say that it's no big deal, etc. etc. but as most of us know he will probably show up in my vicinity or be calling wanting this that and the other. His mom said she has found a lady who can help him with a place to stay (several hours from m...	carolinagirl	3	569	Sep 24, 2007 by maresie2
	He went past my boundary. I am so mad. (Preview) This was his weekend to come and see the kids. I had told him that I was going to go out with a friend of mine. So when he walked in the door he reaked of vodka. It was SO nasty and he denied it. I told him in front of the kids (my bad) that he crossed my boundaries and he would need to leave and drive four hours back....	Friendofyours	8	818	Sep 24, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Is this healthy? (Preview) I'd love some feedback on this decision I've made. I'll keep it short and sweet. My sister has always been a mean drunk. WE live on different sides of the continent and have kept in touch over the phone, infrequent visits and letters. Our relationship has always been strained. My Mom thinks her nastyne...	natbrat	6	650	Sep 24, 2007 by carolinagirl
	HAPPY FIRST DAY OF FALL! (Preview) ((((((Family))))))))), Just wanted to take a moment to wish all of you (who are in the right hemisphere) HAPPY FIRST DAY OF FALL! This can only mean one thing: THE GREAT PUMPKIN IS COMING NEXT MONTH! I'm in the North East, and the leaves are starting to turn, the apples are getting ripe (suppose to be on...	Karilynn	6	721	Sep 24, 2007 by bobump
	regrouping (Preview) I'm finally finally finally in regroup mode. I am able to pay down some of my bills (I will be years paying them). I am looking to a time when I can save and move on. I am looking at what my options are on many many levels. I feel more positive than I have for a long time. I am going tomorrow to get my hair cut and do...	maresie2	3	442	Sep 24, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Is there hope in recovery (Preview) Just got off the phone with my ex AW. Yesterday was her birthday and my adult children and myself did not call her. Her drinking has interfered with our lives to the extent that we have decided on the tough love route. Get treatment and we will be there, until then we can't be there for you. I think she mi...	TheArtOf	14	685	Sep 23, 2007 by ddub
	Hey Everyone (Preview) Hurray I have cable! Glad to be back! Thanks for the replies to my quick update a while ago. Continuation ... I'm happy. Thinga are all coming together, I was declared legally blind, opening up all kinds of opportunities for me and releasing alot of stress over medical bills and financial issues. On th...	Jennifer	5	503	Sep 23, 2007 by debilyn
	How many alcoholics does it take? A penny for your thoughts (Preview) I am a 43 year old, child of an alcoholc mother and MIA father. I cut off contact with my mother over 10 years ago. Her drinking left me twisted in knotts inside. All the lies, promises and just plain insanity, was just to much. I want a peacful life. With out the caos. But I must be doing something worng. Bec...	Cheryl28659	4	906	Sep 23, 2007 by nmike
	More scrubbing floor thoughts (Preview) Hi all, Ok So last week I posted on Having a spiritual awakening while cleaning. Is there such a thing as too much program, because it happened again. But this time was different, maybe because I was more open to it. Well we just moved into this new place about a month ago and tonight we are having a dinner p...	Mandy123	7	674	Sep 23, 2007 by marmare
	Let's share for the new comers,,our first time at an Alanon meeting..... (Preview) I remember very clearly how scared and frightened I was to even call Alanon, nevermind go to a meeting. In utter desparation I finally reached out, and entered those doors. I decided to go to another city in the hopes I would not run into anyone I knew, I was ashamed and terrifed. I didnt want people to kno...	gardengal	9	687	Sep 23, 2007 by Jen
	Detachment (Preview) Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgment or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. Separating ourselves from the adverse affects of another persons behavior* can be a means of detaching: This does not necessarily require physical separation...	Peggy7	4	505	Sep 23, 2007 by cstwwt
	Truth .... Guilt (Preview) ((((((((Everyone)))))))) How hard is it for you to speak the truth and not feel guilty? It is easy for me when it is what the person wants to hear... very, very hard when it is not. Last night was a really tough one... For about a month my wife has been so happy with her "sobriety".... I say tha...	rtexas	12	707	Sep 22, 2007 by lness8
	letting go, is it always possible? (Preview) Read something tonight about when you finally get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you are close to letting it go and moving on. hmmm, I wonder if this might be true if you let go and leave for good? then I wonder, if you don't leave, can it always be possible to let go? I figgure I am going through stag...	ddub	8	613	Sep 22, 2007 by lness8
	I have been quiet...for a "good" reason (Preview) About a month ago I posted that I had decided that no matter how bad my AH was, I wouldn't say anything. Watching him go downhill was so hard, but I held firm with the knowledge that interfering with his drinking over and over throughout the years did not stop the drinking, only created an emotional disas...	babysteps	5	780	Sep 22, 2007 by Karilynn
	setting boundaries with troublesome folk (Preview) At present I am supervising two students with their theses, one has been lax but has the work done, the other whom I had been quite friendly has annoyed the hell out of me but I calmly dealt with her today. Her life is a constant drama, and though she says she has the work done, she finds it difficult to take a...	maire rua	4	507	Sep 21, 2007 by kissers
	don't know what to call this... (Preview) I wind up in these work situations and have stayed with them until something happens to make me leave. The first two the companies were going bankrupt and I needed to have a job so I found another because I had to. In both cases I left a year before they folded. I took the first thing offered. Then next one th...	binohio	7	617	Sep 21, 2007 by abbyal
	KEITH URBAN, HERE I COME (Preview) omg! My dream has come true! Keith Urban is coming to OHIO~! And I have floor seating tickets! My friend Karen and I are going. Hubs are staying home..... I had to join Keith Urban's fan club (I joined a fan club at age 53?!?!?) LOL Tickets went on sale Tues. at 12 noon, if you joined the fan club.....	Becky1	13	991	Sep 21, 2007 by Becky1
	recovery in the area of work/finances (Preview) in response to some posts about money needs and job or debt pressures, i wanted to share that i was helped to move from anxiety and confusion to trust and clarity by reading while applying my step work. two books that help me, maybe they will help you too a currency of hope.....debtors anon. ...	florrie	2	462	Sep 21, 2007 by florrie
	Lost it... (Preview) I lost it this week and I am reeling from the shaming and guilt. I really let the A have it yesterday. He called mid-day to tell me what a horrible experience he had, he sounded angry, then when I said I had to go as I was at work, he was abrupt and said he'd call tomorrow. Thereafter, he called me a number of...	twinkie	4	843	Sep 21, 2007 by florrie
	I swear I can't take it anymore (Preview) My mother called today. That probably tells you everything but that let me elaborate. I am stressed to the max. Work schedual was cut which means not as much money. Ex REFUSES to pay support as he thinks I am rich. LOL! Oh that was just has to make a girl giggle. I am supporting me and 3 kids on 240 a week. Gos...	serendipity	9	717	Sep 21, 2007 by Mandy123
	results from court (Preview) Well they wanted him to put in another plea on 2 cases that he has already plead on. Then he was sent back out of there. Man the judicial system really puzzles me sometimes. So off we go again on our merry way! I just knew it was going to be a beginning to a trial. My HP likes to dangle little things so I will...	hudsond	3	434	Sep 21, 2007 by Gailey
	Still so vulnerable! (Preview) First, sorry about the absense, my laptop went kaput. I LOVE my laptop, it's like losing a friend, it was my little window to the world. But anyway . . . Two days ago as I was drinking my morning coffee an AA guy I know who has helped out my ex before called and asked my permission to come and pick up the truck...	Kim65	10	598	Sep 21, 2007 by maresie2
	The A's reality disconnect (Preview) The thing I find most interesting is the disconnect between reality and the A's perception of reality. Examples: I'm a great dad - can you give me some examples of what you do that makes you a great dad? NOOO that just incites anger. Last week I got several letters from the A - the common theme - I'm gettin...	carolinagirl	4	612	Sep 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Gratitude and finding the good in the bad. (Preview) Ok, so yesterday was a rough night. I got off work, drove home and picked up daughter to take her to youth group for the first time (she's very anti god and wants to go because of boys but I figure whatever her motivation at least she's voluntarily walking in the door :) Anwyay, got her, got the other two a...	carolinagirl	7	610	Sep 21, 2007 by Christy
	I Got A Sponsor (Preview) Yesterday was a H**l Of a day. I have been trying to do this by myself and just reading the board here. Wich has helped alot. Yesterday I lost it. I came home from school orientation (for myself) crying. For no good reason really. Just life in general. I don't cry to my AH anymore like I used to. I can't trust...	janey225	2	392	Sep 21, 2007 by Friendofyours
	breathe...breathe...the right way...slowly... (Preview) So...yeah...there's really no good way to talk about this...to make a cute, nice intro... I'm seriously thinking of turning in my dad to the medical board. Wow there it is. And I'm laughing because if I don't I'll cry and already my neck hurts so much because I didn't sleep and eating was like not goo...	Tiger2006	9	572	Sep 21, 2007 by bobump
	Recent break up (Preview) Hey all, new here, my ex-girlfriend has recently started going through AA and becoming sober (well 4 months here next week). Im very pround of her. She wanted space when she first started going through it, and me being clingy, didnt know how to do that, which partially made way to our breakup. I still lo...	jrl	10	699	Sep 21, 2007 by jrl
	Appearantly HP was charging my batteries yesterday... cause I would need them. (Preview) ((((((((Everyone)))))))) I have held on to my feelings of gratitude and felt blessed with the unusual sunrise this morning.... but feel HP was at work yesterday to bolster my strength. My wife and I had been talking divorce for a while now. She first as she was just frustrated with the way things are....	rtexas	12	724	Sep 20, 2007 by hersh
	MY FOUR DAYS OF COMPLETE HAPPINESS (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))))))))))) I've not posted in a while, as I have had things going on in my life to keep me busy the last few weeks. Some of you know I have been chatting to a guy in England online. For the last 6 weeks we have been in contact every day by the net and texting. He came t...	ally	13	649	Sep 20, 2007 by Barbs45
	a quote that made me think this morning.... (Preview) "Treat people as they are, and they will remain that way. Treat them as they are already what they can be, and you help them become what they are capable of becoming." Goethe Hmm......treating people as they could be was always my MO. The problem was that I didn't let go of the result. And th...	bobump	4	481	Sep 20, 2007 by ddub
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.